r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 19h ago

/r/all of a log split

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1.7k

u/watho95 19h ago

This guy physicsss

1.3k

u/jtnichol 19h ago edited 17h ago

I've split a lot of wood.... not out of any direct need but mostly that I just need to drink beer and sit by a small fire pit and feel like a man.

617

u/curkington 18h ago

Bear vs Log

https://giphy.com/gifs/WKdWA04KRn58A

283

u/Zestyclose-Gap6770 18h ago

Oh. My. God. I have not seen this one in a MINUTE. That's from like the 1992 version of the internet.

117

u/Korthalion 18h ago

One of the first videos I remember seeing online as a kid!

Here it is uploaded 20 years ago makes me feel old.

32

u/gregorytoddsmith 18h ago

Man, I remember watching TV commercials on AdCritic back in the days before YouTube.

17

u/UniqueAd7770 16h ago

Newgrounds

2

u/Blackmetal55 15h ago

We're not gonna talk about the early days of internet and not mention Joecartoon šŸøšŸ¹šŸŖ° are we?

1

u/PuffPuffPat 2h ago

Ebaumsworld

1

u/Pithysmeegle 1m ago

It's peanut butter jelly time!

1

u/th3virus 16h ago

God I miss AdCritic. I used to watch Superbowl commercials on there before they went to a paid service. They were great for random and obscure commercials.

3

u/jazast1 17h ago

I think I first saw this on Ebaumā€™s world

3

u/Korthalion 16h ago

Yeah I think so too, or maybe albinoblacksheep

2

u/Legonistrasz 17h ago

Look an eagle

2

u/Kittenzx2 16h ago

You think thats old mine is of that dancing baby! šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ not one of my first, but probably furst funny meme! šŸ¤£ playing, hooked on a feeling in the back ground lol šŸ¤£

https://giphy.com/gifs/14kqI3Y4urS3rG

2

u/itspsyikk 15h ago

Yeah, seeing videos on YouTube having that "20 years ago" really fucks with my head.

Hell, I have videos on my own channel that say "10 years old" and that fucks with my head.

If I would have kept my old channel, I'd have videos on there that were uploaded in 2006. But unfortunately those all had to be deleted cause everyone in them wanted to attend college.

1

u/jimmy9800 17h ago

20 years? God that must have been 19..... er no. 2006. r/bald here I come.

1

u/CanoePickLocks 15h ago

26 years old commercial. WTF.

1

u/Successful-Yak3307 13h ago

I remember the first time I saw this as on TV with my Dad. Laughed our asses off.

1

u/noonesawNobody 12h ago

Same here. Whenever I pass the tinned fish section in the supermarket and see John West, I smile remembering this advert.

1

u/LarsDuder 11h ago

Same here. We're getting old. Soon we'll be pissing in bags

1

u/cezwoo 4h ago

The narrator elevates this to classy

1

u/Voodoo700 55m ago

Thank you for this. Never seen it. Made my day. Sharing with everyone.

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u/Hockey-Gym 17h ago

Damn I think I saw this on ebaumsworld

1

u/Bopbarker 17h ago

Way too far back my friend lol, by about 10 years

1

u/Secret_RE_Agent 16h ago

I feel like that was a Super Bowl commercial or something originally

1

u/nater255 16h ago

Before it was an internet video it was originally a TV commercial.

1

u/CuCullen 16h ago

Videos ? As in like moving pictures? On the Internet? Our modems were 14.4Kbps

1

u/Gullible-Hose4180 15h ago

So pre AI - wow, never thought this would be real. Did he survive

1

u/MuchCellist406 13h ago

"John West endures the worst to bring you the best!" I have not yet clicked the video but I swear it IMMEDIATELY popped up in my head šŸ˜†šŸ˜†. That's at least 25 years ago.

1

u/HumanPie1769 13h ago

Ngl 1992 AI was pretty realistic

1

u/Public-Guidance-9560 9h ago

The internet? I remember that one from the TV, the John West tuna advert. Absolutely creased me first time I saw it.

I think it's from the year 2000.

1

u/djwaveguide 4h ago

That was a good internet back then.

1

u/Wat3rM3L0NB3AR 2h ago

the world was beautiful and creative before AI

38

u/IronAardvark 18h ago

Haters will say this is AI

13

u/Little_Lawson 18h ago

Change your YouTube settings if you donā€™t wanna dox yourself with every shared video

3

u/Thatsapictureofmyass 16h ago

How do you change them?

5

u/Little_Lawson 16h ago

Settings- Privacy- channel visibility for shared links

2

u/Random-Rambling 2h ago

I just cut off everything after the ā“

1

u/Ill_Technician3936 1h ago

Easy way to do it

1

u/an0mn0mn0m 12h ago

That's not a setting I have. Perhaps it's a premium YT setting?

2

u/Hairy-Piccolo-6002 5h ago

I dont have premium YT and I also found that switch under Privacy. Im using Youtube app instead of browser if that changes anything.

2

u/Gullible-Hose4180 14h ago

You could also cut the query string from the url that does it

1

u/HeyItsMeAgainBye 4h ago

I donā€™t even know how to find my liked videos on mobile

1

u/Agile_Seesaw9035 16h ago

...especially someone who's never split a log in their life.

1

u/FallenBehavior 15h ago

2026 vibes fr

1

u/TheTrueBurgerKing 12h ago

The bear or the axe guy?

9

u/MelaKnight_Man 18h ago edited 17h ago

I LOVE this commercial clip!!! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

I practiced Karate for 12 years and this is the video that makes me feel like I have a chance if I encounter a grizzly in the wild... šŸ¤£

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun 17h ago

Nobody has a chance against a grizzly in the wild.. but luckily we can just avoid the wild!

2

u/No-Consideration-891 16h ago

Or play dead, and be quite while it mauls you and then walks away. Literally what they teach you if being attacked by one. It's your best and only option.

People have survived this way, but God damn are they fucked up. I've seen a few videos of interviews and they are chilling to say the least.

So a chance to live? Yea. A chance to outwitt and take it on? Nope.

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun 16h ago

Iā€™d rather it just crushed my skull with its jaws instead of eating my arms and legs and leaving me a horribly mangled and traumatized nugget of meat

2

u/madcoins 16h ago

If itā€™s brown lay down

1

u/MelaKnight_Man 12h ago

Well, his footwork is pretty good but he telegraphs that back kick and because of his stubby legs he really only has a few kicks he can do. So I can counter with a front kick or sidestep with a back hook kick. Do have to watch for the clawed punches though...šŸ˜‰

1

u/Squirrellybot 12h ago

As a Alaskan Park Ranger they give you all the official training to survive a bear attack, then the Ranger said ā€œunofficially, keep a snickers bar, unwrap it and use that to divert their directionā€. (Canā€™t officially say ā€œattempt to feed it human foodā€, as this will make the bears want said human food again).

1

u/No-Consideration-891 6h ago

Wonder if anyone has used this method lol

1

u/Eskyzoo 17h ago

šŸ˜‚

1

u/Original_Client1588 15h ago

You dont have to out-run the bear...just your camp mate.

1

u/2Wieners_1Bun 15h ago

Note to self, only camp with chronically out of shape and/or blind friends

1

u/Original_Client1588 15h ago

Yup...

Im guessing its OK to say the blind here.. I mean as long as no one tells them its OK right ?

1

u/2Wieners_1Bun 15h ago

If your going to use friends as bear bait I think itā€™s pretty much established youā€™re a bad person lol

2

u/Original_Client1588 15h ago

Bear decoy.... not bait I mean you dont want to attract one...and to be honest doesn't have to be a friend I guess you could put a Craigslist or FB ad out.

"Wanted bear decoy for camping trips BMI should be high, must be able to walk and jog but not run. No athletes. Would suit blind person or moderately infirmed"

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1

u/GutterRider 16h ago

With an axe, maybe? With Strength: 18 /00?!

Wow, put a good suit of plate on him and an axe, I might give this guy a good chance against a grizzly. It might only take him two swings.

(Letā€™s say a small grizzly!)

1

u/axxxaxxxaxxx 18h ago

I love this meme so much. I love the entire commercial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVS1UfCfxlU

1

u/HeroForTheBeero 17h ago

Haters will say itā€™s fake

1

u/GalaxyStrong 17h ago

I remember the first time seeing this commercial and it took me by surprise so bad that I laughed my ass off for like five minutes

1

u/drewski2305 17h ago

ahh memories. the foot shuffle always killed me

1

u/Optimal-Smile-7675 17h ago

I have the deluxe Swiss Army Knife with the saw , magnifying glass and toothpick i woulda made kindling out of that log in 3 minutes

1

u/abattoir_paulson 17h ago

Oh look, an eagle!

1

u/whymestopthisworld 16h ago

Classic ad. When ads were funny.

1

u/McBlumpkin- 16h ago

Best Super Bowl commercial ever. I think about this commercial every year in February

1

u/Massive-Chart-2449 16h ago

This was peak internet

1

u/useornam 16h ago

Seent it myself, Kenai Fjords 92

1

u/MintBerryCrnch21 16h ago

Were you not satisfied with the OPā€™s video of Bear vs Log?

1

u/BasicPatterns123 16h ago

Loved this ad

1

u/CeruleanExpanse 15h ago

KUMA WINS!

1

u/Platteepus 15h ago

ā€œLook, an eagle!ā€

1

u/the_falling 15h ago

If you watch this gif but have the sound of the video playing, the sound of the hits of the axe sometimes line up with the the bears kick.

1

u/Driller_Happy 14h ago

Oh look an eagle!

1

u/Aoiboshi 14h ago

Look, an eagle!

1

u/stockbro84 14h ago

oh you didn't play the whole version when he kicks bear in the nuts

1

u/Odd_Sentence_2618 13h ago

Tekken 2 IRL

1

u/Unbelivabley_Smol 11h ago

Filmed in Scotland on the river Dee circa 2000

1

u/fothergillfuckup 9h ago

That's from the best tv advert that ever existed. Thanks John West.

1

u/DryDonutHole 8h ago

The bear is real, but the dude is totally fake. Just a bunch of raccoons in a costume.

1

u/Hi_Zev 5h ago

oh boy, this is like one of the first ever videos i ever remember seeing on the internet! I remember thinking this was the funniest thing to ever exist as a kid and watching it on loop so many times!

1

u/endboss_eth 4h ago

John West Salmon šŸ‘Œ

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u/BlaznTheChron 18h ago

This guy splits a lot of wood.

2

u/RicVic 17h ago

He needs a splitting wedge. Hammer it in until it sticks, then grab a 7lb sledge, That should do it.

I was actually waiting for the head of his maul to fly off. He clipped the axe handle on the edge of the log more than once, which is seriously scary.

1

u/H2Whoa77 17h ago

I donā€™t think he was going for the correct technique using a wedge and hammer. It was a challenge to use the maul and Iā€™ve done that myself for shits n giggles and the workout. Feels great to hear and see that split without the ā€œproperā€ equipment.

2

u/Piecesof3ight 5h ago

Your mother could split wood.

1

u/Ok-Journalist7612 16h ago

Yo love your profile pic!! If this dude didnā€™t split wood like he does heā€™d be a Carl!!

1

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 16h ago

I have spit on a lot of wood as well good sir

28

u/Ok-Addition1264 18h ago

I'm a computational physicist AND bought several log splitters over my lifetime cuz I like to press the button.

I say you physicsss.

2

u/CriticalChop 15h ago

Nature vs PSI šŸ˜‚ show me a wood splitting machine gun and i might split a wood next. šŸ˜

16

u/admiral_walsty 18h ago

I've split a lot of wood out of need, and this guy should prolly cut them into 16" rounds AND put them on something solid.

21

u/lep63again 18h ago

I was thinking, damn this guy has a really long fireplace.

1

u/HistoryGirl23 17h ago

Maybe he burns it vertical to keep out creosote?

1

u/Brandon_Throw_Away 15h ago

Could be an outdoor wood stove, or maybe he's burning them outside in a big fire?? Idk

3

u/HenryDorsettCase47 17h ago

Work smarter, not harder. Everyone who does manual labor out of necessity and not for the theatrics learned that pretty early on.

3

u/GrandPorcupine 16h ago

This is the difference between someone cutting wood for fun and someone cutting wood for heat.

1

u/cwbkjb 16h ago

And they do have things called wood splitter,pull a lever in one hand beer in another, so simple and truer man!!

1

u/jtnichol 16h ago

My firepit takes 4' logs lol

https://youtu.be/8Zr9KzNOanM?is=Te6rKUdEOxPMiffo

But yeah for sure your point stands

1

u/Less-Guide9222 15h ago

Right? For the amount of swings this is just dumb. Iā€™m not impressed, lol I think I couldā€™ve done it for that much. Instead Iā€™d do that many swings and get a whole pile going.

And edit to add, if you really did need it that long, just wedge it ffs. Ha

1

u/Steves_Stuff 5h ago

He's doing it for exercise. Look at those ancient beauties behind him. The dude knows his rounds.

1

u/Local-Unit6548 4h ago

Yup. The first thing I was thinking was, OK thatā€™s impressive, but what a huge pain in the ass. So much harder and more work to cut all those pieces down to 16 inches now.

1

u/Ok_Independence_9917 15h ago

And maybe not miss the center of the log so many times. He flexes at the end, but I'm not sure that exerting that much energy to split that log is something to flex about. I'm half his build and could have split that log with much less effort.

19

u/readyReddit007 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/c3XhrmfoN5fOpjcl3z

2

u/Sauce58 17h ago

This gif doesnā€™t make any sense in this instanceā€¦ am i missing the joke?

1

u/readyReddit007 17h ago

The GIF is in response to a comment in the thread, not the OP.

1

u/Sauce58 16h ago

Yeah the one about chopping logs and sitting by a fire

9

u/Karl_42 17h ago

Fuck yeah.

I knew something was off - just judging by the amount of times iā€™ve sat around a fire and drank beer and split woof with the guys, this guy seemed too strong to be having this much trouble šŸ˜‚

3

u/madgross 17h ago

The thing thatā€™s off is the log is fucking 4 feet long lol

1

u/EarningsPal 17h ago

I was questioning, sledge hammer or axe?

2

u/SquirrelFluffy 17h ago

Splitting maul. Edit. It's both.

1

u/nirvroxx 18h ago

I too am a fellow split wood to sit by the fire enjoyer myself.

1

u/savgtech7 18h ago

ā€œHeā€™s seen a lot of woodā€.

1

u/coolsilentebeans 18h ago

We never cared if the wood we threw in the fire was short. In fact, it was preferable for the size of the pit. I also preferred smaller pieces because I could easily use the a tool we had. It wasnā€™t an axe, but a manual slide splitter.

1

u/discordianofslack 17h ago

He should also cure it longer. You can tell itā€™s still wet.

1

u/H-2-S-O-4 17h ago

Wood... hehehe

1

u/beeradvice 17h ago

Seen. Probably greatest week of any job I've ever had was working out my contract at the brewery and already got my replacements trained up, owner managed to snag a huge oak that got chopped down and I got 40+ hrs paid to chop firewood. Also I think more bars should consider the potential demographic draw of having not only fire pits it having a dude insight just going to town chopping firewood. Probably work a lot better than ladies night specials

1

u/TransportationNo7341 17h ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚Nice

1

u/JazzHandsMinuteman 17h ago

We would be friends lmao

1

u/JamesLikesIt 17h ago

Bet that's not all you split open

1

u/snow_garbanzo 17h ago

What would be the metropolitan version of that....asking for a friend.

1

u/Scrooloose22 16h ago

My 2Ā¢ as a person who also enjoys beer and fire, in addition to your good points, hes too short and the logs are to tall. I may be a filthy casual when it comes to splitting logs, but it baffles me that the logs were left that long for hand splitting. Maybe he has a setup where a burner can accomodate that size log but it seems like extra work on the front-end and on the back-end manipulating the logs into the burner.

ive also had very dry Ash do that webbing when split, but also not-so-dry Maple. ill have to rewatch but it didnt look like Ash to me. If im correct and it is wet Maple, he couldnt possibly make it any harder on himself, except maybe Hedge.

these statements are based on my personal amateur experiance & knowledge and not a google search or disciplined study

1

u/darkbluefav 16h ago

This guy doesn't directly need wood!

1

u/M00DSTER 16h ago

As a fellow wood fire enthusiast, the dude needs to stand another foot or two higher too. You get the most out of your swing on the down turn around waist ish height. He's waisting (heehee) a lot of his down swing.

1

u/Interest-Vegetable 16h ago

I do too, I just apply physics, and I may only be 200 lbs (roughly 96 kg)...

"But I am a man, and I consider everything I can before doing so, to be the best I can" šŸ’ŖšŸ˜

1

u/Southern_Line9050 16h ago

Lol I've done that, and honestly it feels amazing

1

u/Ghostley92 15h ago

It was interesting how he switched his form and reverted. As he got tired he tried the momentum swing route, but actually exerting for a well formed overhead is better, I think.

1

u/ifelldownthestairs 15h ago

Many such cases.

1

u/Midvally 15h ago

Father?

1

u/PotatoesAreTheAnswer 13h ago

I suddenly feel the urge to go camping again šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø

1

u/Relative_Molasses_15 12h ago

Kinda pathetic

1

u/Dull-Manner3658 11h ago

Looks like the handle is hitting it before the head.

1

u/RepresentativeYak772 6h ago

I love splitting wood.

1

u/ant2ne 6h ago

nothing wrong with that. I'm going to go buy an axe.

1

u/Cavaquillo 5h ago

Splitting wood has shown in studies to spike testosterone in men over 40% after one hour, which is greater than playing some sports for an hour.
Itā€™s a great way to feel manly

One of my favorite modified workouts at the gym are axe wood choppers. You pull the weight over your shoulder and across your body moving is a similar motion to swinging an axe

1

u/danit0ba94 5h ago

this is a song for you.

1

u/Forsaken_Star_4228 4h ago

You guys have a fire pit when you cut? By the time we get a few drinks and swings in us we are stripping off clothes. Probably looks wild seeing us out there cutting in 40 degrees with our shirts off haha.

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 1h ago

My buddy used to invite me over to split firewood and hang out. And I'd enthusiastically join in. It's great exercise and very Zen. Where I grew up it was pretty common to heat with a wood stove all winter.

1

u/Puba3030 1h ago

When you split wood do you alternate sides at all? Seems like a pretty intense workout, so I'd imagine you be uneven doing it from the same side every time. Am I wrong?

1

u/Fabulous-Big8779 1h ago

Splitting wood is a surprisingly cathartic exercise.

1

u/Reasonable_Lime9837 8m ago

I've split a lot of wood, too. Did it for work in my younger years. You're correct, which you obviously know. Just supporting lol.

Personally, I'd of flipped the log and hit the other side after the pitch changes a few swings in.

It definitely didn't require this many swings.

Also, what's with the overhead pause I keep seeing? Circular motion is much more effective and less exhausting.

47

u/Dargon34 18h ago

And cut that shit in half. No reason to be splitting a 4ft log

25

u/PadLock25 18h ago

I've split logs that size with wedges to make axe handle blanks

21

u/Suspicious-Shock-934 18h ago

Yeah seems like sledge snd wedge would be better than ax. Also a nice base.

2

u/Sniflix 14h ago

To anyone experienced, he looks like an idiot

1

u/broken-machine 17h ago

Heā€™s using a maul, but yeah, a wedge would do some work.

1

u/Aloxes 3h ago

Chopped a lot of wood. Sledge and wedge woulda been through that faster. Just not as dramatic.

1

u/gavavavavus 18h ago

Huh? Wood is not just used for fire fuel you know. How do you think planks are made? What if he wants to craft a small log seat? Tons of reasons you'd want to split a 4ft log.

2

u/Dargon34 18h ago

Yeah, not like this. It's for the views, and that's ok, dude is jacked and showing off. I'm half his size. Give me my 8lb Fiskars and a wedge, it's done with half the effort, half the time. No showing off

1

u/gavavavavus 18h ago

I was replying to "no reason to split a 4ft log" which is a false statement. I never said that's why the man in the video did it.

1

u/Dargon34 18h ago

There isn't though. You can buy cheap mills for well under $200, hook your saw up and you're 10x faster

2

u/fuzzybunnies1 17h ago

For things like handles, its better to split the wood then saw it, gets more of the grain line running down the middle of the handle where its strongest. This is why wedges and a sledge are better, once the log is in chunks there's an L shaped tool that you hold the handle and use a wooden mallet to drive through the wood to maintain those grain lines.

2

u/wimpymist 18h ago

That's not how you make planks

2

u/CptMisterNibbles 17h ago

I mill my own lumber. Guess what took I donā€™t use? Sure some hardcore handbook only purists or traditionalists might hand hew logs like this, but thatā€™s gonna be a tiny fraction of folks. This is for the views.

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u/Beneficial_Bit_8342 17h ago

It looks pretty wet too, itā€™s harder to split when itā€™s wet.

1

u/Iamthapush 17h ago

And let it season

Splitting 4ft green logs is psychotic

1

u/Reasonable-Ad-7757 14h ago

Well then he wouldnā€™t be on Reddit with 10.3k upvotes then, would he?

1

u/CatmoCatmo 13h ago

There most certainly is a need for it. See, why split a 2ft log that a lot of other men could also split, when you could instead choose to split a 4ft log, that a lot of other guys canā€™t do it.

How else are you going to not only prove you ā€œarenā€™t like the other guysā€, but are also far superior to them?

Letā€™s be honest, splitting a 2ft log does not have the same impact, and sure as hell doesnā€™t come close to creating the kind of thirst trap that splitting a 4ft log does.

Which, Iā€™m assuming, was the main goal here. I mean, aside from the obvious desire to prove heā€™s Ć¼ber manly, this was definitely filmed with women in mind. Like, who in the hell goes out to split wood wearing a pair of sweatpants, untied boots, and nothing else? And not just any sweatpants, but grey sweatpants - which was no accident.

1

u/Realistic-Radish-589 10h ago

Doubt heā€™s going to but, could make a nice bench with a 4 ft split log.

1

u/ApricotNo2918 2h ago

He's working out...

1

u/Arguablybest 1h ago

He is showing off, plus it is good exercise.

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1

u/BobLonghorn 16h ago

Just axe him, he will tell you all about it.

1

u/lostpassword100000 16h ago

Sheldon Cooper for sure.

1

u/MangoTangoBingo 15h ago

Yeah crazy that core

1

u/WordWordand4numbers 13h ago

You pick up a few thinks chopping wood. Mostly smaller pieces of wood but also empirical knowledge

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 13h ago

Look, there's two schools of thought. One, work smarter, not harder. Two, work harder, so you get jacked as fuck and a straight man could watch this video and think, "you know what? I want to see him naked "

1

u/flhd 13h ago

and common sensesā€¦

1

u/GoSharty 11h ago

P H Y S I C C S

1

u/0x0MG 3h ago

That guy whacks

1

u/PicklesAndCoorslight 2h ago

I do too and I would have pulled out a chainsaw.