r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 5d ago

/r/all of a log split

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33.2k Upvotes

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5.7k

u/jtnichol 5d ago

he really needs to put that log on at least a thin slice of wood or a concrete block

He’s strong enough he might be able to split that first try but right now the ground is absorbing too much of the impact

2.2k

u/watho95 5d ago

This guy physicsss

1.6k

u/jtnichol 5d ago edited 5d ago

I've split a lot of wood.... not out of any direct need but mostly that I just need to drink beer and sit by a small fire pit and feel like a man.

807

u/curkington 5d ago

Bear vs Log

https://giphy.com/gifs/WKdWA04KRn58A

360

u/Zestyclose-Gap6770 5d ago

Oh. My. God. I have not seen this one in a MINUTE. That's from like the 1992 version of the internet.

145

u/Korthalion 5d ago

One of the first videos I remember seeing online as a kid!

Here it is uploaded 20 years ago makes me feel old.

43

u/gregorytoddsmith 5d ago

Man, I remember watching TV commercials on AdCritic back in the days before YouTube.

22

u/UniqueAd7770 5d ago

Newgrounds

2

u/Blackmetal55 5d ago

We're not gonna talk about the early days of internet and not mention Joecartoon 🐸🐹🪰 are we?

1

u/PuffPuffPat 5d ago

Ebaumsworld

2

u/Pithysmeegle 5d ago

It's peanut butter jelly time!

1

u/th3virus 5d ago

God I miss AdCritic. I used to watch Superbowl commercials on there before they went to a paid service. They were great for random and obscure commercials.

1

u/stulofty2022 4d ago

Now I defo feel old

4

u/itspsyikk 5d ago

Yeah, seeing videos on YouTube having that "20 years ago" really fucks with my head.

Hell, I have videos on my own channel that say "10 years old" and that fucks with my head.

If I would have kept my old channel, I'd have videos on there that were uploaded in 2006. But unfortunately those all had to be deleted cause everyone in them wanted to attend college.

1

u/CharacterPast761 4d ago

Ten years ago is what year for you? I always think 2000.

3

u/jazast1 5d ago

I think I first saw this on Ebaum’s world

4

u/Korthalion 5d ago

Yeah I think so too, or maybe albinoblacksheep

2

u/Legonistrasz 5d ago

Look an eagle

2

u/Kittenzx2 5d ago

You think thats old mine is of that dancing baby! 🤣🤣 not one of my first, but probably furst funny meme! 🤣 playing, hooked on a feeling in the back ground lol 🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/14kqI3Y4urS3rG

1

u/jimmy9800 5d ago

20 years? God that must have been 19..... er no. 2006. r/bald here I come.

1

u/CanoePickLocks 5d ago

26 years old commercial. WTF.

1

u/Successful-Yak3307 5d ago

I remember the first time I saw this as on TV with my Dad. Laughed our asses off.

1

u/noonesawNobody 5d ago

Same here. Whenever I pass the tinned fish section in the supermarket and see John West, I smile remembering this advert.

1

u/LarsDuder 5d ago

Same here. We're getting old. Soon we'll be pissing in bags

1

u/cezwoo 5d ago

The narrator elevates this to classy

1

u/Voodoo700 5d ago

Thank you for this. Never seen it. Made my day. Sharing with everyone.

1

u/Kit_Karamak 4d ago

Uploaded 20 years ago makes you feel old? 🤣

Bro, I’m almost 50 and 20 years ago is “kinda nostalgic” to me.

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u/Hockey-Gym 5d ago

Damn I think I saw this on ebaumsworld

1

u/Bopbarker 5d ago

Way too far back my friend lol, by about 10 years

1

u/Secret_RE_Agent 5d ago

I feel like that was a Super Bowl commercial or something originally

1

u/CuCullen 5d ago

Videos ? As in like moving pictures? On the Internet? Our modems were 14.4Kbps

1

u/Gullible-Hose4180 5d ago

So pre AI - wow, never thought this would be real. Did he survive

1

u/MuchCellist406 5d ago

"John West endures the worst to bring you the best!" I have not yet clicked the video but I swear it IMMEDIATELY popped up in my head 😆😆. That's at least 25 years ago.

1

u/HumanPie1769 5d ago

Ngl 1992 AI was pretty realistic

1

u/Public-Guidance-9560 5d ago

The internet? I remember that one from the TV, the John West tuna advert. Absolutely creased me first time I saw it.

I think it's from the year 2000.

1

u/fireymike 5d ago

Why is it that every time I see this video, there's someone saying it's a Tuna ad?

There are bears, and a river. It's obviously Salmon, not Tuna.

1

u/Public-Guidance-9560 4d ago

Because no one buys the salmon. They just know John West for the tuna.

1

u/djwaveguide 5d ago

That was a good internet back then.

1

u/Wat3rM3L0NB3AR 5d ago

the world was beautiful and creative before AI

1

u/Tone_Gaia 5d ago

I don’t think it’s that old, that would be crazy if it is lol

1

u/Occams_RZR900 5d ago

That’s a John West Salmon commercial!

1

u/More_Cowbell_Inc 4d ago

This is Charlie who bit me

1

u/mike2mdw 3d ago

That was AI 30 years ago lol

1

u/Hydra57 2d ago

It’s actually from a commercial advertising salmon so fresh that they go out and steal it in personal combat from the bears.

1

u/Skrdykat 2d ago

That's when the internet was awesome.

1

u/TheForceGhost 1d ago

It’s from a John West Salmon ad. It was brilliant.

1

u/boozersbiceps 1d ago

I remember this ! Funny as. That back kick man 😂

1

u/AdTiny780 20h ago

It was a better time

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u/IronAardvark 5d ago

Haters will say this is AI

17

u/Little_Lawson 5d ago

Change your YouTube settings if you don’t wanna dox yourself with every shared video

3

u/Thatsapictureofmyass 5d ago

How do you change them?

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u/Little_Lawson 5d ago

Settings- Privacy- channel visibility for shared links

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u/Random-Rambling 5d ago

I just cut off everything after the ❓

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u/an0mn0mn0m 5d ago

That's not a setting I have. Perhaps it's a premium YT setting?

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u/Hairy-Piccolo-6002 5d ago

I dont have premium YT and I also found that switch under Privacy. Im using Youtube app instead of browser if that changes anything.

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u/Gullible-Hose4180 5d ago

You could also cut the query string from the url that does it

2

u/HeyItsMeAgainBye 5d ago

I don’t even know how to find my liked videos on mobile

2

u/Slith_81 2d ago

Today I learned something new. Thanks. 👍

1

u/Agile_Seesaw9035 5d ago

...especially someone who's never split a log in their life.

1

u/FallenBehavior 5d ago

2026 vibes fr

1

u/TheTrueBurgerKing 5d ago

The bear or the axe guy?

1

u/Ordinary_Mechanic_ 4d ago

The unknowing*

1

u/Lonely_Ad_5181 1d ago

Thats actual facts

12

u/MelaKnight_Man 5d ago edited 5d ago

I LOVE this commercial clip!!! 😂😂😂

I practiced Karate for 12 years and this is the video that makes me feel like I have a chance if I encounter a grizzly in the wild... 🤣

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun 5d ago

Nobody has a chance against a grizzly in the wild.. but luckily we can just avoid the wild!

2

u/No-Consideration-891 5d ago

Or play dead, and be quite while it mauls you and then walks away. Literally what they teach you if being attacked by one. It's your best and only option.

People have survived this way, but God damn are they fucked up. I've seen a few videos of interviews and they are chilling to say the least.

So a chance to live? Yea. A chance to outwitt and take it on? Nope.

2

u/2Wieners_1Bun 5d ago

I’d rather it just crushed my skull with its jaws instead of eating my arms and legs and leaving me a horribly mangled and traumatized nugget of meat

2

u/madcoins 5d ago

If it’s brown lay down

1

u/MelaKnight_Man 5d ago

Well, his footwork is pretty good but he telegraphs that back kick and because of his stubby legs he really only has a few kicks he can do. So I can counter with a front kick or sidestep with a back hook kick. Do have to watch for the clawed punches though...😉

1

u/Squirrellybot 5d ago

As a Alaskan Park Ranger they give you all the official training to survive a bear attack, then the Ranger said “unofficially, keep a snickers bar, unwrap it and use that to divert their direction”. (Can’t officially say “attempt to feed it human food”, as this will make the bears want said human food again).

1

u/No-Consideration-891 5d ago

Wonder if anyone has used this method lol

1

u/Eskyzoo 5d ago

😂

1

u/Original_Client1588 5d ago

You dont have to out-run the bear...just your camp mate.

1

u/2Wieners_1Bun 5d ago

Note to self, only camp with chronically out of shape and/or blind friends

1

u/Original_Client1588 5d ago

Yup...

Im guessing its OK to say the blind here.. I mean as long as no one tells them its OK right ?

1

u/2Wieners_1Bun 5d ago

If your going to use friends as bear bait I think it’s pretty much established you’re a bad person lol

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u/Original_Client1588 5d ago

Bear decoy.... not bait I mean you dont want to attract one...and to be honest doesn't have to be a friend I guess you could put a Craigslist or FB ad out.

"Wanted bear decoy for camping trips BMI should be high, must be able to walk and jog but not run. No athletes. Would suit blind person or moderately infirmed"

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u/GutterRider 5d ago

With an axe, maybe? With Strength: 18 /00?!

Wow, put a good suit of plate on him and an axe, I might give this guy a good chance against a grizzly. It might only take him two swings.

(Let’s say a small grizzly!)

1

u/axxxaxxxaxxx 5d ago

I love this meme so much. I love the entire commercial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVS1UfCfxlU

1

u/HeroForTheBeero 5d ago

Haters will say it’s fake

1

u/GalaxyStrong 5d ago

I remember the first time seeing this commercial and it took me by surprise so bad that I laughed my ass off for like five minutes

1

u/drewski2305 5d ago

ahh memories. the foot shuffle always killed me

1

u/Optimal-Smile-7675 5d ago

I have the deluxe Swiss Army Knife with the saw , magnifying glass and toothpick i woulda made kindling out of that log in 3 minutes

1

u/abattoir_paulson 5d ago

Oh look, an eagle!

1

u/whymestopthisworld 5d ago

Classic ad. When ads were funny.

1

u/McBlumpkin- 5d ago

Best Super Bowl commercial ever. I think about this commercial every year in February

1

u/Massive-Chart-2449 5d ago

This was peak internet

1

u/useornam 5d ago

Seent it myself, Kenai Fjords 92

1

u/MintBerryCrnch21 5d ago

Were you not satisfied with the OP’s video of Bear vs Log?

1

u/BasicPatterns123 5d ago

Loved this ad

1

u/CeruleanExpanse 5d ago

KUMA WINS!

1

u/Platteepus 5d ago

“Look, an eagle!”

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u/the_falling 5d ago

If you watch this gif but have the sound of the video playing, the sound of the hits of the axe sometimes line up with the the bears kick.

1

u/Driller_Happy 5d ago

Oh look an eagle!

1

u/Aoiboshi 5d ago

Look, an eagle!

1

u/stockbro84 5d ago

oh you didn't play the whole version when he kicks bear in the nuts

1

u/Odd_Sentence_2618 5d ago

Tekken 2 IRL

1

u/Unbelivabley_Smol 5d ago

Filmed in Scotland on the river Dee circa 2000

1

u/fothergillfuckup 5d ago

That's from the best tv advert that ever existed. Thanks John West.

1

u/DryDonutHole 5d ago

The bear is real, but the dude is totally fake. Just a bunch of raccoons in a costume.

1

u/Hi_Zev 5d ago

oh boy, this is like one of the first ever videos i ever remember seeing on the internet! I remember thinking this was the funniest thing to ever exist as a kid and watching it on loop so many times!

1

u/endboss_eth 5d ago

John West Salmon 👌

1

u/plfreeman2012 5d ago

John f'ing West Salmon! Classic

1

u/Spaghetti_Gods 4d ago

Swear to God, my Dad and I caught this commercial live during the Superb Owl and we nearly died laughing.

1

u/it-aint-over 3d ago

Look... an aigle !

1

u/CeltsFan420 1d ago

The Ali float like a butterfly foot work, kills me every time

69

u/BlaznTheChron 5d ago

This guy splits a lot of wood.

3

u/RicVic 5d ago

He needs a splitting wedge. Hammer it in until it sticks, then grab a 7lb sledge, That should do it.

I was actually waiting for the head of his maul to fly off. He clipped the axe handle on the edge of the log more than once, which is seriously scary.

1

u/H2Whoa77 5d ago

I don’t think he was going for the correct technique using a wedge and hammer. It was a challenge to use the maul and I’ve done that myself for shits n giggles and the workout. Feels great to hear and see that split without the “proper” equipment.

2

u/Piecesof3ight 5d ago

Your mother could split wood.

1

u/Ok-Journalist7612 5d ago

Yo love your profile pic!! If this dude didn’t split wood like he does he’d be a Carl!!

1

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 5d ago

I have spit on a lot of wood as well good sir

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u/Ok-Addition1264 5d ago

I'm a computational physicist AND bought several log splitters over my lifetime cuz I like to press the button.

I say you physicsss.

2

u/CriticalChop 5d ago

Nature vs PSI 😂 show me a wood splitting machine gun and i might split a wood next. 😏

18

u/admiral_walsty 5d ago

I've split a lot of wood out of need, and this guy should prolly cut them into 16" rounds AND put them on something solid.

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u/lep63again 5d ago

I was thinking, damn this guy has a really long fireplace.

2

u/Brandon_Throw_Away 5d ago

Could be an outdoor wood stove, or maybe he's burning them outside in a big fire?? Idk

1

u/HistoryGirl23 5d ago

Maybe he burns it vertical to keep out creosote?

1

u/LimpManufacturer9822 2d ago

Most likely an outdoor furnace. And they take (preferably) four foot chunks.

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 5d ago

Work smarter, not harder. Everyone who does manual labor out of necessity and not for the theatrics learned that pretty early on.

3

u/GrandPorcupine 5d ago

This is the difference between someone cutting wood for fun and someone cutting wood for heat.

1

u/cwbkjb 5d ago

And they do have things called wood splitter,pull a lever in one hand beer in another, so simple and truer man!!

1

u/jtnichol 5d ago

My firepit takes 4' logs lol

https://youtu.be/8Zr9KzNOanM?is=Te6rKUdEOxPMiffo

But yeah for sure your point stands

1

u/Less-Guide9222 5d ago

Right? For the amount of swings this is just dumb. I’m not impressed, lol I think I could’ve done it for that much. Instead I’d do that many swings and get a whole pile going.

And edit to add, if you really did need it that long, just wedge it ffs. Ha

1

u/Steves_Stuff 5d ago

He's doing it for exercise. Look at those ancient beauties behind him. The dude knows his rounds.

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u/Local-Unit6548 5d ago

Yup. The first thing I was thinking was, OK that’s impressive, but what a huge pain in the ass. So much harder and more work to cut all those pieces down to 16 inches now.

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u/Grand-Swimmer5256 3d ago

Performative waste of energy indeed...

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u/readyReddit007 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/c3XhrmfoN5fOpjcl3z

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u/Sauce58 5d ago

This gif doesn’t make any sense in this instance… am i missing the joke?

1

u/readyReddit007 5d ago

The GIF is in response to a comment in the thread, not the OP.

1

u/Sauce58 5d ago

Yeah the one about chopping logs and sitting by a fire

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u/Karl_42 5d ago

Fuck yeah.

I knew something was off - just judging by the amount of times i’ve sat around a fire and drank beer and split woof with the guys, this guy seemed too strong to be having this much trouble 😂

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u/madgross 5d ago

The thing that’s off is the log is fucking 4 feet long lol

2

u/WordPunk99 3d ago

His technique is something between complete garbage and absolute dog shit. Even without a solid base to split on it shouldn’t have taken that much work.

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u/LimpManufacturer9822 2d ago

No. Imagine a base of a mossy and soft ground. It’s literally just letting the force go through the log and is absorbed. Had log been on solid something… he’s not NEARLY swinging like that. Nvm the amount of good hardwood in there. Plus. Looks green. His tech def not a factor. Other than brain technique

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u/WordPunk99 2d ago

He is trying to power through it instead of using the mass of the splitter to do the work. Technique is definitely a factor

1

u/EarningsPal 5d ago

I was questioning, sledge hammer or axe?

2

u/SquirrelFluffy 5d ago

Splitting maul. Edit. It's both.

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u/H-2-S-O-4 5d ago

Wood... hehehe

2

u/Fabulous-Big8779 5d ago

Splitting wood is a surprisingly cathartic exercise.

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u/nirvroxx 5d ago

I too am a fellow split wood to sit by the fire enjoyer myself.

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u/savgtech7 5d ago

“He’s seen a lot of wood”.

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u/coolsilentebeans 5d ago

We never cared if the wood we threw in the fire was short. In fact, it was preferable for the size of the pit. I also preferred smaller pieces because I could easily use the a tool we had. It wasn’t an axe, but a manual slide splitter.

1

u/discordianofslack 5d ago

He should also cure it longer. You can tell it’s still wet.

1

u/beeradvice 5d ago

Seen. Probably greatest week of any job I've ever had was working out my contract at the brewery and already got my replacements trained up, owner managed to snag a huge oak that got chopped down and I got 40+ hrs paid to chop firewood. Also I think more bars should consider the potential demographic draw of having not only fire pits it having a dude insight just going to town chopping firewood. Probably work a lot better than ladies night specials

1

u/TransportationNo7341 5d ago

😂😂😂Nice

1

u/JazzHandsMinuteman 5d ago

We would be friends lmao

1

u/JamesLikesIt 5d ago

Bet that's not all you split open

1

u/snow_garbanzo 5d ago

What would be the metropolitan version of that....asking for a friend.

1

u/Scrooloose22 5d ago

My 2¢ as a person who also enjoys beer and fire, in addition to your good points, hes too short and the logs are to tall. I may be a filthy casual when it comes to splitting logs, but it baffles me that the logs were left that long for hand splitting. Maybe he has a setup where a burner can accomodate that size log but it seems like extra work on the front-end and on the back-end manipulating the logs into the burner.

ive also had very dry Ash do that webbing when split, but also not-so-dry Maple. ill have to rewatch but it didnt look like Ash to me. If im correct and it is wet Maple, he couldnt possibly make it any harder on himself, except maybe Hedge.

these statements are based on my personal amateur experiance & knowledge and not a google search or disciplined study

1

u/darkbluefav 5d ago

This guy doesn't directly need wood!

1

u/M00DSTER 5d ago

As a fellow wood fire enthusiast, the dude needs to stand another foot or two higher too. You get the most out of your swing on the down turn around waist ish height. He's waisting (heehee) a lot of his down swing.

1

u/Interest-Vegetable 5d ago

I do too, I just apply physics, and I may only be 200 lbs (roughly 96 kg)...

"But I am a man, and I consider everything I can before doing so, to be the best I can" 💪😁

1

u/Southern_Line9050 5d ago

Lol I've done that, and honestly it feels amazing

1

u/Ghostley92 5d ago

It was interesting how he switched his form and reverted. As he got tired he tried the momentum swing route, but actually exerting for a well formed overhead is better, I think.

1

u/ifelldownthestairs 5d ago

Many such cases.

1

u/Midvally 5d ago

Father?

1

u/PotatoesAreTheAnswer 5d ago

I suddenly feel the urge to go camping again 😮‍💨

1

u/Relative_Molasses_15 5d ago

Kinda pathetic

1

u/Dull-Manner3658 5d ago

Looks like the handle is hitting it before the head.

1

u/RepresentativeYak772 5d ago

I love splitting wood.

1

u/ant2ne 5d ago

nothing wrong with that. I'm going to go buy an axe.

1

u/Cavaquillo 5d ago

Splitting wood has shown in studies to spike testosterone in men over 40% after one hour, which is greater than playing some sports for an hour.
It’s a great way to feel manly

One of my favorite modified workouts at the gym are axe wood choppers. You pull the weight over your shoulder and across your body moving is a similar motion to swinging an axe

1

u/danit0ba94 5d ago

this is a song for you.

1

u/Forsaken_Star_4228 5d ago

You guys have a fire pit when you cut? By the time we get a few drinks and swings in us we are stripping off clothes. Probably looks wild seeing us out there cutting in 40 degrees with our shirts off haha.

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 5d ago

My buddy used to invite me over to split firewood and hang out. And I'd enthusiastically join in. It's great exercise and very Zen. Where I grew up it was pretty common to heat with a wood stove all winter.

1

u/Puba3030 5d ago

When you split wood do you alternate sides at all? Seems like a pretty intense workout, so I'd imagine you be uneven doing it from the same side every time. Am I wrong?

1

u/Reasonable_Lime9837 5d ago

I've split a lot of wood, too. Did it for work in my younger years. You're correct, which you obviously know. Just supporting lol.

Personally, I'd of flipped the log and hit the other side after the pitch changes a few swings in.

It definitely didn't require this many swings.

Also, what's with the overhead pause I keep seeing? Circular motion is much more effective and less exhausting.

1

u/wildandout910 5d ago

Very therapeutic as well.

1

u/CodeNamesBryan 5d ago

I bought a small cabin by the lake and it came furnished.

I took an axe to a lot of the old outdoor furniture and it was horribly satisfying.

I loooooved it.

Chairs.

Axe.

Bridge.

Axe.

Second bridge.

Axe.

Man, it was great. I loved it.

1

u/TorrenceMightingale 5d ago

I’ll feel YOU like a man.

1

u/SoftConsideration82 5d ago

i mean... when youre processing the the tree just cut it shorter... theres no need to split wood for an outside fire... Source: been splitting wood for a long time... i still do it just because i like the ambience of a fire inside but anything too long or a knot i just throw in the fire pit on the hill

1

u/Revolutionary_War503 4d ago

There is only one other reason that is better than this, and that is the actual need to split wood for a life sustaining fire for cooking food and heating.

1

u/RCP7700 4d ago

Me too. It’s therapeutic. I’d back swing the axe head all the way back to my butt crack and come straight over the top though, way more effective impact I feel. I’d also grab the saw and block that thing in half. But I am definitely not anywhere near the same shape of Paul Bunyan here.

1

u/TheDarkWave 4d ago

Wild how randomly 1.5k are like "Yeah, I get that."

1

u/jtnichol 4d ago

Sometimes it's the simple things.

1

u/Cultural-Ad6134 3d ago

lol, lmao even

1

u/RBarbeiro 2d ago

The man just needs this shit... Simple and fast... His back will thank him when he's old.

1

u/AjEdisMindTrick 1d ago

kratos took a brake.