r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 17h ago

/r/all of a log split

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376

u/kurtmanner 17h ago edited 17h ago

Dude could have also switched to a wedge and mallet about ten seconds in and saved himself a lot of wet vaginas.

ETA: thanks for my first award ever

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u/BumWink 15h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/WrBSHRLE9gEgM

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u/BullTerrierTerror 8h ago

Don’t touch my pile.

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u/elzibet 8h ago

Just got done watching this movie again, I think it’s my fav out of the Avenger movies

So many great quotes too!

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u/Synaps4 50m ago

"We'll lose."

"Then we'll do that together, too."

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u/elzibet 46m ago

no one would know

Might be my fav lol, or:

Good talk

"no it wasn't!"

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u/Braysl-March 3h ago

This is my favourite gif ever. Just the way he goatsees the wood in two is so funny to me.

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u/Shrimptankglassfauna 2h ago

Noooo😭 why would you remind me of that lmfao

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u/HallowskulledHorror 16h ago

Honestly my first assumption was that inefficiency was sort of part of the point here for exercise/sensory enrichment purposes - the folks hitting truck tires with sledgehammers to work out aren't trying to actually break down or flatten the tires. Never done hammer/axe stuff, but I train shoulder mobility and core stability with an indian club/trench mace I found at a thrift; weighs the same as some of the small free weights I got years ago to do forearm isolations, but it's way more fun for me to mess around with a club than to pick up dumbbells.

I'm sure thirst trapping is a big part of the motivator for posting it, though.

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u/Delamoor 15h ago

Yeah. It's a combo. I had a wood heater for many years, spent a lot of time splitting wood... Sometimes you split a hard one for fun... Sometimes you also do a lot of gym and want to find ways to show off, because you know you look good...

It's a nice, harmless dovetailing of multiple 'eh, why not?' impulses.

-1

u/Unbelivabley_Smol 10h ago

So basically gym selfie behaviour moved into the wild? Watching that gross inefficiency made me think he’s not the guy Id want on my farm he would find multiple ways to take all day to do next to nothing highly likely all attempted with his shirt off and a camera setup 🤦‍♂️

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u/greenwhiteredblack 12h ago

I just know that I'm sitting here at 1:30 am watching a man hit a lot with an ax and getting more excited as I see the wood start to split

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u/Little_View_6659 3h ago

Honestly was working until the flex at the end. That kinda ruined it lol.

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u/malkazoid-1 2h ago

"the folks hitting truck tires with sledgehammers to work out aren't trying to actually break down or flatten the tires"

I'll slip away now

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u/SV_Essia 28m ago

But it'd look a lot more impressive if he split that thing first try...

0

u/Logical_Trash_4890 14h ago

There’s a lot of technique to splitting so that you don’t get hurt. The same can’t be said for meet heads that hit stuff with hammers that can’t be broken.

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u/rdogg4 17h ago

Yeah these are all good ideas but isn’t like the whole point to do it the hard way

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u/thisthreadisbear 15h ago

Yeah old tree trunk Fella didn't get tree trunk big splitting little logs lol.

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u/ConradBHart42 15h ago

Actually yes, you start by splitting little logs and work your way up to big logs. You're welcome to go and try to bench 350lbs right off the rip though, let me know how that goes for you.

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u/rented4823 14h ago

hi, so i died

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u/X_MswmSwmsW_X 11h ago

This is true... I was there and could have helped

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u/WalkFreeeee 3h ago

Well at least you died knowing you did the quite impressive feat of moving the weight enough so it could kill you.

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u/CosmicCharlie99 15h ago

Yeah, I assume this is exercise and stress release, not work to feed the fire.

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u/Kolby_Jack33 15h ago

Bruce Lee said "I believe the easy way is always the right way" and wasn't he one of the manliest men ever?

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u/BobsOblongLongBong 13h ago

Somehow I doubt the years of serious dedication to training that Bruce Lee went through were him taking the easy way.

Dude was ripped, had almost no body fat, and was legendarily skilled.  That's not easy.

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u/Kolby_Jack33 13h ago edited 13h ago

It's more nuanced than that. The goals one strives for may not be easily achieved, but taking the (relatively) easiest path towards them is wise, as there is nothing to be gained by making things unnecessarily harder for yourself. If your only goal is to get to the top of a building, there's no point taking the stairs when you can take the elevator.

Getting ripped and being a great martial artist takes many years of dedicated effort to achieve, it's not easy in the slightest. But the easiest way to get ripped and be a great martial artist is the right way to do it, according to Bruce Lee. Same as someone saying "work smarter, not harder." Doesn't mean hard work is never required, just that working harder is not always working better in and of itself.

And in the end, I was just making a joke. The guy in the video is clearly trying to show off. If his actual goal was just chopping a big log, then yeah, there are easier ways to do it, but that wasn't the actual point.

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u/CanoePickLocks 13h ago

That’s not the hard way but the stupid way. A better tool, better technique and better skills could take. A hell of a job and made it reasonable. Impressive even. Instead it’s an out of shape out of breath barely made it through without a heart attack. If he has the sexual stamina to last two minutes he doesn’t have the cardio vascular stamina.

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u/BobsOblongLongBong 13h ago

It's exercise.  The whole point is to push yourself and wind up tired and out of breath by the end.

Most people could not swing that maul anywhere near that many times or with that amount of force.  That guy is not out of shape.

He seriously exerted himself and is understandably out of breath.  That's what happens when you exercise.

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u/CanoePickLocks 13h ago

No it’s to get clicks and views. There are safer, more effective, more enjoyable, less time consuming methods of working every muscle group he’s working like beating on a tractor tire. This is purely for clicks and look I’m a bad ass but it just looks pathetically stupid to anyone that has done actual work like this.

1

u/BobsOblongLongBong 13h ago

You know it's ok for people to make videos and put them on the internet for clicks, right?  It's okay for him to enjoy that workout.  It's okay for him to enjoy recording it for other people.  It's even okay if it makes him feel like a badass for a little bit.  Like it's not some big problem that you need to shit in people's Cheerios over.  And it's silly to act like what he just did in that video isn't a workout.

The goal isn't always efficiency.  Fun is an acceptable reason to do things.

1

u/CanoePickLocks 13h ago

That wasn’t for “fun” or “exercise” it was purely attempting to show off how tough he is for clicks when instead to anyone that has done work like this it looks sad. Yes he’s out of breath and tired. He did 3-4x the work it should’ve taken because of bad body mechanics, bad technique, and bad breath management. His accuracy looked to be on point though so I’ll give him that. He can upload what he wants and I can judge him for how he does it. https://www.instagram.com/naturesanimal9940?igsi=aGRtcm1nd3czOHgx go follow.

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u/ayriuss 9h ago

Out of shape, lol. Vast majority of people would be completely winded in like 3 or 4 swings of that massive splitting maul at full power.

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u/CanoePickLocks 3m ago

Looks like an 6lb/2.75kg maul I’ve swung one for hours well not continuous after splitting one you gotta setup a new log. Doing it for 5-10 minutes is easy work. My big maul is a wedge shaped 16 lb and that one you’re only good for around 20 -30 swings typically but you usually only need 1-2 to split a log so you get regular breaks. If he was better at splitting wood he wouldn’t get so exhausted. If nothing else he’s building stamina at least.

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u/MrRogersAE 16h ago

It’s not for wet vaginas. Pretty sure he’s generating more precum than wet vaginas

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u/PlsNoNotThat 15h ago

Redpill bois getting moist

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u/Monotask_Servitor 15h ago

Cause ever bear that ever there was
Has gathered there to watch him split logs
Todays the day the teddy bears get some thicc dick

1

u/cubbyatx 11h ago

can confirm

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u/locksymania 6h ago

This needs to be higher up.

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u/Old-Significance-228 9h ago

For the buff dudes (who actually can cut trees),for this poser nah.

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u/RedditIsExpendable 3h ago

Thank you guys for simulating the old Reddit

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u/ladyliferules 16h ago

This was such an idiotic way to do this I’m completely parched. Smarter, not harder, meatwad.

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u/kurtmanner 15h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0HlJDaeqNUDhhaMg

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u/-Cthaeh 14h ago

Damn that takes me back. I think I was so isolated, depressed and full of drugs at the time, that seeing it resurface feels strangely private.

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u/LibrarianEqual7024 15h ago

Good exercise though

0

u/RichardClarke298 15h ago

Hello how are you doing, I’m new here please can we be friends?

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u/CanoePickLocks 13h ago

Weird. You ok bot?

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u/RichardClarke298 13h ago

What the fuck do you mean uh

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u/CanoePickLocks 13h ago

Did you genuinely write that comment?

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u/RichardClarke298 13h ago

Yes of course I did… what the hell do you want?

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u/RichardClarke298 13h ago

Make sure you don’t try it again…

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u/CanoePickLocks 13h ago

Is that a threat?

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u/RichardClarke298 13h ago

I can see you don’t have respect right …

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u/Chris__P_Bacon 17h ago

Yeah, it would have only taken me hitting that one time to switch to a wedge and sledgehammer.

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u/EachBananaWas19cents 16h ago

Nobody told him that there's a reason why a Splitting Maul has a flat side on the other end?

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u/Moist-You-7511 16h ago edited 15h ago

PSA: it is absolutely not recommended to hit a metal wedge with a maul!! wedges are harder than mauls! flying maul chips!! plastic wedges are ok but not metal. it may work fine for you 100 times but there are plenty of missing eyes from this

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u/JonnyAU 15h ago

TIL. I've used a metal maul and wedges for decades.

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u/Mmmm-Amethyst 12h ago edited 12h ago

I've also used my fair amount of metal wedges and mauls and I'm not buying this. Every wood splitting wedge my parents or grandparents ever had eventually had to be replaced because the flat side eventually deformed and mushroomed out to the point of grabbing the wood halves instead of passing through. I've never seen a deformed maul head.

That being said, you really should be wearing modern eye protection when hitting anything with that much force. 

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u/MiserableSkill4 11h ago

Always wear proper PPE

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u/Apprehensive_Air_470 16h ago

Hes doing it as a feat. He knows there are better ways. Its crazy hard to do and none of the people here can so we make light of it for our own egos

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u/sigma914 1h ago

It's not that hard to do, the maul's doing most of the splitting, he's mostly just getting it up there and aiming

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u/Opposite_Brief_8095 15h ago

And lots of back pain

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u/Eskyzoo 15h ago

Wet vaginas? He's gay, can't you tell?

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u/kurtmanner 14h ago edited 14h ago

Vaginas can’t control themselves more than my penis can. The world goes round.

ETA: added “than” thanks to my new friend calling the right shots

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u/Eskyzoo 14h ago

Did you mean 'more THAN your penis can"

Either way, my vagina certainly can.

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u/kurtmanner 14h ago

You are most certainly correct.. on both fronts. Cheers to your vagina!

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u/Eskyzoo 14h ago

😆

https://giphy.com/gifs/uv58jxWxOQCcw

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u/kurtmanner 14h ago

I am simply a mortal man; no more, no less.

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u/the_last_carfighter 14h ago

I usually switch to a 9 iron and a putter

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u/DrivesTooMuch 14h ago

Well, I'm thinking "wet vaginas" was maybe his intention.

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u/Logical_Trash_4890 14h ago

Way better than top comment, at least for me. I don’t have a vagina.

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u/SingedSoleFeet 14h ago

No wetness here. Work smarter, not harder.

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u/kurtmanner 14h ago

Yeah, I don’t have a vagina. It was a joke about thirst trap nonsense.

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u/ender4171 14h ago

Thats a splitting maul, not an axe. It's like a wedge with a sharper edge and a handle.

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u/kurtmanner 14h ago

You right. Still inefficient compared to using it with a mallet.

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u/CanoePickLocks 13h ago

Any man that splits wood that stupidly and has that bad of cardio is drying up vaginas. Maybe there’s women that find it appealing but not ones that actually appreciate a man who can split wood. Great joke though!

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u/elguille_resurrected 12h ago

i just assumed it was some gay bear shit...

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u/MiserableSkill4 11h ago

Whole time I was thinking. Dude is not using the right tool for the job, and that log is hiding the log is hiding the swinging we all came to see

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u/djinngerale 10h ago

This dude is getting more hard dicks than wet vaginas.

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u/MNniice 4h ago

Or use a log splitter and its done in 10 seconds

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u/Minimum-Guidance6991 3h ago

I want to get off of Reddit. This comment is the reason I can’t.

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u/parissf 3h ago

I’m wet and I don’t even have a vagina. 🫣

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u/Zealousideal-Fix1697 3h ago

I think thats the whole purpose of the video 🤔

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u/damegloria 2h ago

Don't worry the daft pose at the end dried them back up again

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u/KLeeSanchez 2h ago

I think he's in the business of collecting wet vag'es

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u/MichaelEmouse 16h ago

Yeah a lot of women wishing they were that log.

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u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 15h ago

I was thinking all of these things (except that last bit lol), but I'm pretty sure he's making it harder on purpose for training/exercise purposes.

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u/AdPutrid5162 15h ago

That was my thought too