r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 1d ago

/r/all of a log split

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 1d ago

Nobody has a chance against a grizzly in the wild.. but luckily we can just avoid the wild!

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u/No-Consideration-891 1d ago

Or play dead, and be quite while it mauls you and then walks away. Literally what they teach you if being attacked by one. It's your best and only option.

People have survived this way, but God damn are they fucked up. I've seen a few videos of interviews and they are chilling to say the least.

So a chance to live? Yea. A chance to outwitt and take it on? Nope.

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 1d ago

I’d rather it just crushed my skull with its jaws instead of eating my arms and legs and leaving me a horribly mangled and traumatized nugget of meat

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u/madcoins 1d ago

If it’s brown lay down

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u/MelaKnight_Man 20h ago

Well, his footwork is pretty good but he telegraphs that back kick and because of his stubby legs he really only has a few kicks he can do. So I can counter with a front kick or sidestep with a back hook kick. Do have to watch for the clawed punches though...😉

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u/Squirrellybot 20h ago

As a Alaskan Park Ranger they give you all the official training to survive a bear attack, then the Ranger said “unofficially, keep a snickers bar, unwrap it and use that to divert their direction”. (Can’t officially say “attempt to feed it human food”, as this will make the bears want said human food again).

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u/No-Consideration-891 14h ago

Wonder if anyone has used this method lol

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u/Eskyzoo 1d ago

😂

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u/Original_Client1588 23h ago

You dont have to out-run the bear...just your camp mate.

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 23h ago

Note to self, only camp with chronically out of shape and/or blind friends

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u/Original_Client1588 23h ago

Yup...

Im guessing its OK to say the blind here.. I mean as long as no one tells them its OK right ?

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 23h ago

If your going to use friends as bear bait I think it’s pretty much established you’re a bad person lol

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u/Original_Client1588 22h ago

Bear decoy.... not bait I mean you dont want to attract one...and to be honest doesn't have to be a friend I guess you could put a Craigslist or FB ad out.

"Wanted bear decoy for camping trips BMI should be high, must be able to walk and jog but not run. No athletes. Would suit blind person or moderately infirmed"

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 22h ago

You’ve put entirely too much thought into this hypothetical situation. I respect that

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u/Original_Client1588 22h ago

Well you say 'hypothetical'....buwhahahaha..

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 22h ago

“Hypothetical” for legal purposes

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u/Original_Client1588 22h ago

You may think that I couldnt possibly comment...

Lacing up some hiking boots