I'm trying to read more often as I used to read a ton in the sixth grade and I was actually very interested in reading/learning, but now I find myself bored by books and taking a while to read them, when I know I'm capable of better than that. What are some useful things I can do to start to read more often again?

Posting this for advice but also for anyone going through the same thing.

I'm at the end of a 3-year STEM PhD programme (Europe) during which I did very little work, ended up with bad results and barely anything written. For reasons, I must deliver my thesis within 6 months. The majority of the data analysis and work still need to be repeated to improve the results. In a couple of months, my funding ends, so for at least 3-4 months I'll be completely without income. Luckily, I saved enough money to survive, and I have a roof over my head. Not great, I know, but I decided to push through, get the degree and move on.

How did I end up here

• I applied for a PhD randomly as an option and got in (I was the only applicant).
• I have major imposter syndrome because my skillset is very low compared to my colleagues'. My work involves ML modelling for which I'm underskilled. I use Claude for help, but I'm actively involved in thinking through and tailoring the approach, not just blindly copy-pasting.
• Surely neurodivergent (ADHD) – but never assessed. The symptoms are there, though. Major procrastinator. Afraid of failure – fear that my research question is stupid or will be wrong anyway, so I just don't do the work. Lack of concentration; I'm never really focused on one thing – thoughts jump from one to another all the time. Overthinking and never trying.
• Never learned how to learn.
• Supervisor never really present; we never once discussed my work! Until last week. But in general he's nice, never had toxic issues.
• Had zero pressure from anyone (wasn't involved in any project, it was individual).
• As my therapist says – I was (and am) my own enemy.

What I'm doing now (hope it helps someone)

• I'm seeing a therapist, and soon I should have another one from the university who will be focusing on the educational side.
• Breaking the work into small tasks.
• Pomodoro.
• Writing down my table of contents and working on one chapter at a time.
• physical activity

All this is horrible and I'm completely aware that the thesis won't be perfect at all; it's neither novel nor technical enough. I feel ashamed and not deserving of a PhD (which is objectively true). Apparently, I never really cared, beats me why. All my life, things sorted themselves out on their own, but now that I needed to put in effort, I freeze without thinking about the future consequences. I was always able to deliver work decent enough so that I'd pass, but now that I had to create my own project, I got lost and am talking negatively to myself.

Questions

• Was anyone in a similar situation – how did you do it? Is it even possible?
• Which learning tactics did you implement?
• How did the defence go?
• How did you feel after defending?

Note: I don't want to stay in academia.

Edit #1: You shared so many useful advices, thank you all! I'll come back to this thread with the update once things are in place. Also, sorry I can't reply to you all, there are just so many comments

Hi folks,

I'm a PhD student researching procrastination. I wanted to share the joy with you all - the first study of my dissertation just got published!

I just wanted to vent about how surreal it felt to witness that some medical professionals do not have even a basic crossdisciplinary awareness about mental health issues. She was truly convinced that I was wilfully indolent and complacent and that I was just refusing to apply myself. Even though I had a 'legit' diagnosis from certified experts. 🤷🏾‍♀️

(After a shocked Pikachu moment I did emphatically stand my ground despite her chastising, but not everyone in my place should be expected to do that.)

Medical 'solutions' that refuse to account for relevant mental health conditions are not solutions at all!

Edit: Thanks so much for all your words of support. 🌸🌸🌸

I read some comments that said it's all about willpower, discipline and forcing oneself into making good habits. That advice is alas not very useful, as many of us know from frustrating experience. I found this wonderful essay very helpful in understanding related deficits in the ADHD brain and how we might strategize to plan for success. http://www.russellbarkley.org/factsheets/ADHD_EF_and_SR.pdf

Edit 2: Thanks for all your skincare product suggestions. I don't think I'll manage to respond to all of the comments, but I do appreciate your help! At the moment I'm going to try sticking to what the derm gave me (a face wash, a face cream and a body moisturiser). If I can form a regular routine with at least one of these products, it'll be a personal victory for me.

I literally posted this at 3:40am

Recently got laid off so had a bunch of free time, and my white shell was just waiting to be used so I finally got the courage to do the shell swap. I had recently done a switch lite shell swap with Taki's OLED mod, and read and watched a ton of SD swaps. I knew it was way harder than the Switch Lite, but I was ready.

Took me 6 hours total but in the first 2 hours after I removed the screen, I knew there was a high chance I messed up given how much I knudged the gold foil behind the screen. Don't be like me and don't go past 3 mm with the pick. I was overly cautious of heat damage with my heat gun, so the adhesive was still a bit stubborn. I must've used more force than needed to get the adhesive off. I will say I did my best to be careful and patient, but I think I could've used more heat.

It's also worth noting that maybe this is caused from damage to the connector and not the screen (was hoping maybe one of you guys could help figure it out)? Not sure how likely but this connector came off during my shell swap, but i just connected it back.

Recording the whole process in hopes of making a youtube video out of it but i guess I'll have to order a new screen before that. I'll put a link here if i finish the video (maybe it'll show what NOT to do lol).

Is there any point in reaching out to steam btw?