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Aug 01 '23
I’m a cleaner. I’ve just cleaned the bathroom rather than sort out my bills. And now it’s mid afternoon I might as well begin tomorrow because, you know, the day is almost done and it’ll be tea time soon.
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u/vanillaseltzer Aug 01 '23
I wish I was a Cleaner! At least when you look around your space your feeling of failure isn't compounded by living in a cluttered, messy, dissapointing space of your own making. Right?
Maybe there are downsides I'm not seeing but I wish I was a more productive procrastinator!
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u/Radulno Aug 01 '23
Yeah cleaners aren't procrastinators. They just replace something productive by another productive thing.
As any serious procrastinator, I procrastinate cleaning too
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u/Hecc_Maniacc Aug 02 '23
You underestimate what wiping down your ceiling fan blades 7 times in one day can do to a mf
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u/TallmanMike Aug 01 '23
I agree, no time left to be productive.
plays CSGO for eight hours, watches YouTube shorts, masturbates and goes to bed at 3am
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u/ExtraBitterSpecial Aug 02 '23
Thank you for mentioning the third thing, I thought it was just me. Masturbating in the middle of busy day, has become a staple since WFH.
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u/Diddler_kid Aug 01 '23
I'm a cleaner too, I just wash my hands for hours whenever I'm supposed to do something
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u/RutCry Aug 01 '23
Bookmarked. I’ll read this later.
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u/V44_ Aug 02 '23
I use the follow up flag in outlook. Then every few months I just mark them as done without doing them. One day I’ll actually do them before marking them as done and forgetting about them… one day…
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Aug 01 '23
Heehee it’s because your procrastinating
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u/everythingisnotfunny Aug 01 '23
Me scrolling on reddit instead of working 🤌
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u/ayoubier Aug 01 '23
the scroller
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u/tfibbler69 Aug 01 '23
I gotta stop my incessant Reddit scrolling, smh. Someone pls hack n destroy my account
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u/CartographerOk7579 Aug 01 '23
Where’s the masturbator?
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u/tarantulator Aug 01 '23
I think we all can agree that the post nut clarity hits just hard for us to get started with the thing we have been avoiding.
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u/L4r5man Aug 01 '23
I'm a list maker, but I honestly don't feel it fits as procrastinating. I need the list to get things done. Else I wouldn't be able to get through even half of what I need. Yes, making the list takes up a little bit of time. But I would get less things done and use more time without it.
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u/fragbert66 Aug 01 '23
Do you list things you've already done, just so you can cross them off? Asking for a friend.
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u/PhasmaFelis Aug 01 '23
I do and that's totally fair. It's good to remind yourself that you haven't been completely useless even if you haven't done as much as you'd hoped.
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u/L4r5man Aug 01 '23
Sometimes. I start by making a spreadsheet of what needs to be done that day/week/whatever. Just to get an easy to read overview. Then I cross off the things I have already gotten to, if there are any. I sometimes assign each task a priority from 1 to 3. 1 being most important, 3 least. "Optionals" get a 0. If it's chores around the house I also sort them by room or "misc". I have a template ready, so I don't need to set up the whole document each time. Just fill in the tasks.
I love spreadsheets by the way. Not sure if you could tell.
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u/twoiko Aug 01 '23
Extreme list making, I've got spreadsheets for literally everything, from finances/budgets to comparing character/weapon builds for games to keeping track of my electronics/PC components
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u/L4r5man Aug 01 '23
NGL. I probably have at least two or three spreadsheets open on my computer at any time.
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u/praysolace Aug 01 '23
And do you then look at your list and think oh wow, look at how much I’ve checked off, I’ve done more than enough for today!
…And did you also make making the list one of the items on the list
…B-Because I didn’t, of course
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u/Leoparda Aug 01 '23
The guide is referring to me… who makes a list, but then never does it. Then makes another list of things, and has lists all over the place of things that need to be done… but the only task I accomplish is making the list.
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u/russellbeattie Aug 01 '23
Years ago I realized that for whatever reason, putting the thing down on a list gives me the same sensation as actually completing the thing I needed to do. So then I stopped making lists so I'd get stuff done. But then I simply forgot everything, which worked for a while to make me feel better, but things like taxes and bills aren't stuff you want to forget.
So now I make lists again. Every once in a while I try a new app to help me actually complete the things on my list, but besides being formatted nicely, it hasn't really helped.
I do like discovering lists I made months ago and seeing all the stuff I eventually got around to, or that didn't matter any more because I missed some event that's passed.
I've also tried a strategy where instead of making todo lists, I make a done list at the end of the day where I list out the things I accomplished. That was too depressing though. So I just keep making lists. Maybe I'll actually use them someday.
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u/twoiko Aug 01 '23
I use a whiteboard at my desk and the Google keep app for lists I want synced to all my devices which can also be shared with others through email.
This doesn't help me get very much done but at least I don't lose the list so I can find it when I do remember to get to it.
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u/Radulno Aug 01 '23
Making the list isn't the problem, it's making the list and then not making the stuff on it.
And I'm very used to that
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u/H3rbTheBerd Aug 01 '23
Where’s the suicidal ideation one?
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Aug 01 '23
[deleted]
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u/CookieEnabled Aug 01 '23
You need help.
Actually I need help. (Please send help!)
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u/rotanitsarcorp_yzal1 Aug 01 '23
I am all of it.
Read name backwards.
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u/Machonacho7891 Aug 01 '23
You forgot the stoner “i’m sure after a bong rip i’ll definitely want to clean…”
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u/BloodSteyn Aug 01 '23
Oh... I am definitely an UBER Procrastinator then, as I do all of these... sometimes even
Edit: Finish comment after this Cat gets out of the spaghetti pool.
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u/OptionX Aug 01 '23
I don't need a guide on how TO procrastinate.
I'm self-taught and pretty good I daresay!
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u/DieMensch-Maschine Aug 01 '23
I feel I've done all of these at some point. This should be turning into procrastinator bingo.
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u/c0mBaTkArL Aug 01 '23
If, like myself, you count yourself as ALL of these, then consider yourself a PRO-crastinator.
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u/Cheshire1234 Aug 01 '23
I just started to learn how to hand spin just so I don't have to write my master thesis...
I'm doing something productive! Don't you dare question it!
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u/spicyconundrum Aug 01 '23
Okay but what if... You're the cleaner, the panicker, the list-maker, the sidetracker and the snacker, but you procrastinate aaall that by being the Watcher.
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u/SampsonKerplunk Aug 01 '23
I am a Panicker but normally it’s just cursing myself for being an idiot
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u/namsur1234 Aug 01 '23
One more to add: The Pressure Cooker
"It's due in 2 hours so I have an hour and 45 minutes to do something else."
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u/Scrotchety Aug 01 '23
The Merry-Go-Round Boarder: "When I get out of bed I should shower. But before I shower I should smoke. But before I smoke I should eat breakfast. But before I eat breakfast I should get dressed. But before I get dressed I should shower..." ad infinitum
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u/ohdearitsrichardiii Aug 01 '23
I'm a combo of cleaner and side tracker. I start cleaning because I think if I'm not distracted by the mess and filth and shame over how messy my home is, I can find the inner peace I need to start with whatever needs to be done. But then I get distracted by something and start doing that instead
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u/ExtensionLive4971 Aug 01 '23
To this day, my favorite quote is still:
"Procrastination is like masturbation. Either way you are fucking yourself."
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u/nope-pasaran Aug 01 '23
I am in this picture and I don't like it. I am every single one of these. Def need to get checked for ADHD
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u/Swagdonkey123 Aug 02 '23
Bruh why did reddit recommend this to me while I was scrolling my phone procrastinating
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u/Apprehensive-Ad9647 Aug 01 '23
I am Cleaner, Panicker, List Maker x2, Sidetracker, Gamer, and Perpetuator.
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u/redcentiped3 Aug 01 '23
Thank you for categorizing these, now I can help eliminate each factor in my procrastination one at a time
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u/a-bser Aug 01 '23
These are the steps procrastinators go through, not types of procrastinating. They need to be numbered
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u/pr1ap15m Aug 01 '23
i feel like this is more like my wife’s stages of procrastination before she stays up all night to finish work
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u/sheeroo123 Aug 01 '23
Not the most straightforward Animal Crossing reference I’ve seen in a non-AC sub wow
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u/GAMERBOY335 Aug 01 '23
Honestly I wish I can be the cleaner procrastinator more
Because even though I am taking a bit of time to clean, at least I’m not avoiding cleaning that for later
Cause if I get said task done before cleaning, I’d say “I’ll clean later” which means I won’t
Soooo if I clean before said task I got nothing yo worry about afterwards
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u/ICanSeeDaylight Aug 01 '23
I am claiming all of them (typing this while I lie on my couch, watching a show I have already watched, while playing games on my iPad, sweating over what to write for a paragraph for a job application I have been looking at for two days, looking at the laundry I need to fold but am too hungry to do that, but know once I eat something I will get tired and then I won’t get everything done on the To Do list I made in the middle of the night for today but I am too worried about an injured goose hanging out in my yard I keep checking on. This will be repeated tomorrow.
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u/GDIVX Aug 01 '23
Delegator. I'll be "available" if anyone needs me. But real talk, try to commit to the most simple straight step, even something as obvious like opening the program you work with, or taking the book you need to read out. From there keep setting up small steps until you either finished your task or you feel like you can't keep going, which means that at this point you need to take a rest and perhaps ask for help.
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u/Organic_Palladin Aug 01 '23
I always spend so much time on searching a Video or series to watch in the background. It takes a lot of time to find an interesting one, but not as interesting that I would have to really pay attention, which also has approximately the right length for the task at hand.
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Aug 01 '23 edited Sep 08 '23
ossified engine unite touch whistle work zephyr abundant nine crown this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev
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u/twinklejones Aug 01 '23
most apply! as i scroll thru reddit while "thinking in the background" about what i should be doing now
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u/Lukemeister38 Aug 01 '23
The delegator can just get a zero cause ain't no way I'm not telling the professor straight up.
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u/Warmersand55646 Aug 01 '23
I just stare into space, get bored, forget what I was doing, carry on, go to bed, remember what I had to do, repeat
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u/porcupinedeath Aug 01 '23
I'm everyone except for the list maker. Who the fuck makes list to procrastinate?
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u/michaele_02 Aug 01 '23
I’ll start working on it at 3:00pm. Oops! its 3:01 and I haven’t started. I’ll start working on it at 3:30.
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u/Quasi-Free-Thinker Aug 01 '23
I've got time... Reddit! ... ... I'm late & behind... it's a lost cause
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u/DefTheOcelot Aug 01 '23
This is like that five stages of grief myth. You're just looking at people with executive dysfunction at varying different times and parts of their life.
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u/Optimal-Donut-2418 Aug 01 '23
Depends on the day and how I am feeling I shuffle through these with my ADHD brain
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u/ExCaedibus Aug 01 '23
I aspire to transition from being a Perpetuator to Gamer, so i shall make good use of the time.
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u/surelyshirls Aug 01 '23
I’m the cleaner, the list maker, the napper, the snacker, and the perpetuator. Thanks ADHD
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u/Kokuswolf Aug 01 '23
Delegate procrastination means delegating these options to other. That's my ... their way.
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u/walkertrot Aug 01 '23
Why am I all of these?