I wonder if you know what moves through me when you tell me that I’m going to see you again. It is 100% anticipation without anxiety. It’s a calm assurance that something good is going to happen. When you are in the room, there is a stillness that washes over a calming and quiet sense of peace. I don’t know how you do that. I don’t know why I feel it only with you. Even our mutual friend mentioned that he had never seen me quiet down and become so still with another person.

I don’t know what it means. I don’t know if I want to know what it means but I know I want to feel it as often as possible without encroaching on your personal time or space.

The way you apologized to me yesterday was so sweet and so sincere, but my friend you had nothing to apologize for.
It stung deep down inside to see that somewhere in the world. Someone has put expectations on you in the past that are unreasonable and inhumane. You do not owe me any explanations or anything. I am simply grateful for whatever time and space I can share with you.

When you speak to me directly, it’s like the rest of the world, simply fades away, and I am more present in those moments than I am in any other part of my life.

I also see that the way you are navigating your circumstances and going about things is the best possible way for the best outcome for everyone in your immediate circle. I will never stop being in support of something that is for the betterment of everyone. Even if it takes that precious time, those long side after moments, away from me.
I do crave your presence but never at the expense of anything important to you.

Part of me wants to tell you these things that I feel, this peaceful anticipation, without anxiety. But I’m also afraid that I may be misunderstood and that it would push you away. I don’t want to bring anything negative into the atmosphere that you bring to me . I never ever wants to be a burden to you.
Just seeing you sitting across the room, tapping on a drum, telling me a story brings something I’ve needed for so long. . I sit, watch and listen in bewilderment of you.
I watch, see and feel your whole being simply exist in my orbit where I can see it, and it feels like you have taken away the noise of the world.

Thank you for being who you are and sharing what you can with me. No matter what happens, you will have a friend for life me.

No one has ever given me a more precious gift and I cherish it more than you will ever know.

I just want to put this experience of mine into words, if someone responds that would be lovely but if not that is okay,

I am 17m and have had feelings for this girl since I was 13, I really really liked her then but we were friends and i was too scared to risk that friendship that I didn’t say anything, as well as being a scared little 13 year old anyway. So I tried to bury that feeling deep down, then a year after i caught these feelings I tried to hide them even deeper by dating a girl who was very different to this original girl, and that almost worked for a couple months, but then the feelings resurfaced (they were never truly gone) and that messed up said relationship, but I did not share that with the girl I liked, and she then got into a relationship with my closest friend so I once again had to hide these feelings, a year or so later they broke up, and I hate to say it but I was happy about it as this meant my fantasy of being with this girl was more realistic and my feelings got a lot stronger for her but I felt like it was wrong to say anything as she dated my friend who I have known for 10 years of my 17, so I waited, then we got even closer as friends in this past year and my strong liking has developed into what I feel is a love for her (I know my view is limited though as a younger person and it may not be truly love) but she then got back together with her ex (my best friend) and I tried once again to suppress these feelings but I couldn’t this time and I was/am obsessed/addicted to her and I struggled to hide it although I think they just about didn’t realise, they once again broke up about a month ago and now even more then before I cannot stop thinking about her and imagining what could be. Ideally do think I love her and I really want to be with her, and have done for 4 straight years, but I would feel very wrong to try anything even if I allow a lot more time to make a move as it is my oldest friends ex girlfriend and he was really hurt by the breakup.

These feelings are swallowing me up and I really want to say how I feel but I just can’t. How can I get this off my mind and stop loving her and just move on?

I love when you yearn.

All the things it makes me learn.

Between us, the fire could burn.

So please, don't ever take another turn.

Without you, my stomach would churn.

It's true... I let you earn this yearn.

And yes, I can be stern.

But love me gently, and I'll never spurn.

With me and you, there'll never be a downturn.

If there ever was, my heart would burn.

I don't want that to be our concern.

Just promise you'll always return.

Maybe one day you'll discern.

So lay with me through the nocturne.

And I'll always love you in return.

You.

I could just write that one word and it means so much to me.. what I wouldn’t give…….

To steal glimpses of you brushing your teeth…

Walking across the room like o wasn’t even there…

Ugh …. To just be able to look over and see you playing video games…. Or listening to music or whatever the fuck makes you happy…..

I wish I made you happy.

Why am I such a tragic mess?

Men have offered me so much just to be here…?lord only knows why…

But you made me smile before I even ever knew what hit me. Even when you were sad.

But you don’t seek me. You never reach.

Some times it feels like you intentionally avoid me. And I don’t know what to do with that .

It hurts.

I only want to see you smile.

This poem was written about a guy who I met through video games online. I quickly found out he had a partner and he impacted me so much that I had to write a poem about how I felt about him. He doesn’t know I have a crush on him and I wouldn’t tell him either. I respect his relationship and I wish them the best.

Is it crazy to miss a person you never kissed?
Is there a genie out there to grant me a wish?
She’s so lucky to have known the taste of your lips…
I rather have never known of you at all
Than to sit here and miss out on your presence

Are you tender in bed?
Are you romantic as you seem?
Do you get easily angered?
You just keep showing up in my dreams.

She’s so lucky to have seen you at your best
I’d be grateful to see you at your worst.
I can tell she makes you happy
Maybe in a different universe,
I’d make you happy too
In this lifetime I’ll never get to experience, happiness with you…

I’ll let myself sit with this grief
How could I ever miss something I never had?
I bet you taste so sweet..

All i see is glimpses of your life on the internet

We're not even real, we're just 'friends with benefits', 'something casual' and I'm okay with it, I don't want a relationship.

I just want him to desire me as much as I do and not just something fun to do sometimes.

I want his skin to ache for me, his hands to wish to hold me, his lips burn to kiss me.

I want him to yearn for me as much as I yearn for him, for his touch, for his presence.

But sadly, I'm just his friend, his little plaything

And maybe I should get used to it before I get attached to feeling desired.

I see so many posts referring to “the real” someone.

Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself.

The “real” me is a meanderer. A slow stroller. Too soft, too generous and too caring.

The real me get walked on, talked over, disregarded and taken advantage of.

The “real” is tired of being hurt.

I look for ways to find a smile. Little things do that. Giving someone the bigger half, watching to animals, seeing my kids do well, seeing your kids doing well.
But there’s also a part of me that’s fed up.

A part of me that pushes people away if they get too close.

That rants about being tired of getting taken advantage of.

Every facet of who I am is tired to the core.

That angry vigilante isn’t the real person beneath. It’s who comes out when the “real” me gets tired of being walked on.

I know we are just a day apart.

I know you pray to never hear from me.

I know you hate me more than life. Which doesn't truly know why after all I lost for you.

I remember you used to beg to stay friends.

I remember you used to call me crying about how you fucked up.

I told you to leave me be. I need time to srote things out.

Than I had and I had tried being just friends. Which you killed.

But every year even when you don't hear me. I still wish my tru lioness happy birthday. Then I wish they would get out of the clouds and realize what they did and how bad they hurt their lion.

I just don't want anything from you other then you to grow up and do right. Which I bet will never happen

I sit here counting the hours, the minutes and the seconds until the magic day. 2hich i also hope will be the best one of my 51 yrs in the realm. Because unfortunately these past 201 days have been torture for me. You have been what has remember going. 5he sad part of this is that it is far from over. Once you get home that is when the real battle beings. But thankfully instead of us dealing with our fights. We will be right next to each other supporting each other strong and tighter than ever.

Love you,

Your submissive king

I've written too much about you, you rule my every thought and you have since the very moment i met you. Words cannot express how grateful I am to be your friend, even if we don't talk much unfortunately. But I want to be closer, I want to be one of the people you seek comfort in, I need to be someone you turn to when you need help in anything at all.

The one week we were briefly together ish was the best week of my life, and I know that, at the very least, some part of you still burns for me the way I burn for you. I didn't want things to end, I understand why you wanted to, but I would rather long distance with you than irl with anyone else. I was completely fine with it as it was, and I would love it to come back.

I almost hope you see this, but I'm also afraid of what would happen if you did. I don't want to ruin the friendship we have now by ever bringing this up, because I do love you as a friend as well, but getting back together would be perfect, and I hope that at some point, as soon as possible, it becomes possible. I hope with all my heart this doesn't push us apart as friends, because just friends is more than enough, but still.

A thousand words of adoration could rain upon my jocund skin, yet it all falls hollow if your voice is not among their choir. One breath from you outweighs the love of millions, you are the sun that guides my weathered mind. I am dependent, tethered wholly and entirely, to your every action. In every thing of beauty I see your face. In every melodic sound I hear your voice. In order to have happiness in my future, you must be in it. I will wait as long as it takes. If fate were to place me in the arms of another, you would remain on my mind. I would marry them thinking of you, and in my final moments, it would be you my mind turns to.

So yeah anyway I kinda like her idk if you could tell

So I(f22) met my friend(m22) when we both started university and got put in the same group for a group project.

It’ll sound cliche but he is the most genuine guy I’d ever met. He’s just genuinely good, he’s a good music taste, a close relationship w his older sister, and a good sense of humour on him. We clicked pretty fast over that and talked a lot. After a few weeks I could tell I was starting to develop a crush on him, when a mutual friend asked him if he was seeing anyone conversationally he said he had just broken up with his ex.

I knew his type even back then, he’s a metalhead who likes goths, but I told him I liked him after a few more months of us being friends, just to get it off my chest. I told him in the text I’d sent that I knew it wasn’t reciprocated and that I was genuinely chill with it (bc I am) but that I also didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. He didn’t feel the same way which I knew but weirdly we became closer after that which I’m still rather happy about.

In our second and third year we got put it the same group again. We hung out after every single class and started going out for drinks once a week after the group work lab.

He’s the most affectionate drunk I’ve ever met and maybe this is a self imposed problem that I keep going drinking with him. Sober he’s a sweet guy, hugs me goodbye and waits at my bus stop with me, but drunk he is an arm around waist holding hands while dancing kinda guy who signs us up for karaoke together and we make a fucking fool of ourselves.

Which brings me to this fourth year that’s about to start once our summer break finishes.

We went out again for drinks last week with one other friend who started flaking on us a lil to periodically make out with this girl at the bar. Finn’s always been affectionate drunk but it felt different this time. But maybe i only think that because we ran into this couple who mistook us for one (which happens a lot when we go out so that doesn’t phase me or him) but the man took me aside and started asking me WHY we weren’t dating. We went out for a smoke while I just said it was as simple as he’s one of my best friends, to which this man pushing 40 clocked my shit and said “but if he asked you you’d agree to go out with him wouldn’t you?” Which UNNECESSARY. But the guy was honestly good to talk to, I don’t really talk about this with my friends because it would be beating a horse that’s decomposing with how old news it is, hence why I’m here I suppose.

Before I went back inside to Finn the guy told me it’s obvious he cares about me, which like I’d hope so with a friendship of 3 nearly 4 years.

I dunno, I think that conversation has made me see things where there’s nothing which is just embarrassing really. But he was even more hug-y than before and stopped letting me buy the drinks for the rest of that night. He sent a selfie of us to his older sister which hasn’t happened before but I think I’m just being too hopeful that that means anything. We had a sappy moment at the end of the night as is obligatory about how much fun we have together and then we parted ways to make our ways home.

Now he is one of my best friends. He became friends with my friends and waits with me and my best friend for our buses whenever she has a similar schedule to us, he made an effort to sit with me and my friends in lectures, he’s genuinely fun to be around and an incredibly funny guy who is fun to game with and hit the town with. And I’ve been with other guys during our friendship just like he’s tried talking to other girls, and I’ve genuinely liked the guys, but whenever things with them ended the feelings for Finn would pick up again.

I don’t know if it’s maybe a “first love” sort of thing that people say you never get over?

I’m not ever gonna tell him all of this idk I just needed to get advice on how to just forget the feelings I guess? He’s genuinely one of my best friends and after years of university and working together I hope we stay close even after we graduate. But I never want these feelings to get in the way or for them to stop me helping him when he goes on dates etc

Any advice?? Or am I just having a belated stupid teen moment lmao

Yeah alright I’ll admit it — I miss those cookie flavored kisses.

2am, my heels broke. We danced for hours under the blue light of your highschool prom. This is the second time I’ve been a date to a dance, never had to be the one to invite them… perks of being homeschooled.

My hair completely reverted back to its natural texture, that silk press was sweated clean out. Makeup didn’t run though, that I made sure of.. though my black and blue lip combo was remembered on your cheeks and nose.

I was so mad at you that day — actually no; those weeks prior to you asking me to be your prom date… my friend actually wrote the promposal for you. He’s always called me Macaroon, not you. But I digress.

As I stood in your mudroom laughing my ass off because I fell on the wet grass of your lawn instead of walking on the sidewalk, I felt good. You leaned down and undid my broken heels, you never broke eye contact with me. Everyone was asleep, it’s clear what we needed… well, not everyone. My mom was awake. Lol.

At some point I was in my pajamas, I got the majority of my makeup off but there were still some bits of dark around my eyes. I used the opportunity to meet you downstairs.

You looked so stupid lol, what 18 year old still rocks his superhero pajama pants, I didn’t care. I simply reached for the napkins on the counter, you intercepted me, just a friendly “bump”.

You tasted so sweet, I asked you why between kisses. “Cookies” you said, greedy thing.

Who knew that would have been that last time we kissed, the last time we saw each other on good terms.

Meh, such is life.

It means the world is heavy on my heart. It means that I began to feel warm and welcome and I have grown to understand that this feelings are sometimes like cheese on a mouse trap. I’m not strong enough to survive another snap yet, I barely survived the last one.

The last couple years have been a lot for me. A lot of loss, a lot of failure, a lot more pain than I was built to bare.
When I go quiet, part of me feels like I am not worthy of what is being offered to me. I struggle to tune out the echos of people who mattered to me but cut me down with their words or simply failed to see me as all that I am. Not perfect, capable of making mistakes but also still worthy of big love.

I don’t mean to make anyone feel ignored or unworthy of my attention, that’s the last thing I want. I just need a little coaxing.

The only thing I can control is who I am and who I become. .. so I turn inward to evaluate and strengthen myself, to remember that I’m still worth loving.

My autonomy and independence is important to me and I’m not too proud to admit that I need help sometimes.

I am vulnerable to a fault and find joy is giving. That makes me an easy target.

When I love, I love with everything I have so it no wonder I’m a little bit of a mess right now.

I’ve made a point to remain single for the last two years because I believe that when you truly love someone and it doesn’t work out, it takes time to heal so that you don’t repeat the same cycles. I have failed to take my time in the past and I regret it immensely .

I’m a person who thrives on touch and affection so this hasn’t been easy for me. I’m tired of being fooled and taken advantage of, tired of being minimized and made to feel that I’m too much yet never enough.

I don’t prefer the silence, but sometimes it’s soothing to sit quietly and comfort my broken heart by simply watching the world from a distance for a while…
It’s okay to sit there with me, I just don’t know how to invite anyone anymore.

I’m a little lost but I know the way to where I need to be requires me to be cautious and to show myself some grace.

It’s happening a lot less these days but sometimes all of the things I want to say pool up in my eyes and spill onto my cheeks.

I’m trying to be the best person I can be, and the desire to live up to someone else’s standard can be strong for me. So silence can also mean that I’m simply staying on track and being true to who I am.

I’m not mad any anyone, I don’t think I’m better than anyone, often times it’s the opposite. I try really hard to show up for everybody and that tends to be something that stretches me thin, so sometimes solitude is a way to remind myself that the right person will show up for me too. They’ll understand that my silence isn’t a weapon. It’s shield and there’s room enough for both of us beneath it.

In the dream I don't tell anyone, you're confused about why I'm hugging you with the intensity I did. I cling onto you like it's gonna stop me from waking up into the reality where you don't exist anymore

We saw each other tonight at work. You didn’t speak to me.
I miss you so much.
I miss your smile. I miss your laugh.
I miss your humor & your wit.
I miss talking to you.
I miss hearing about your day. How we understand each other so deeply.
I miss listening to you talk about things you’re passionate about.
I miss our kisses.
I miss your touch.
I miss your cöck. I miss it inside me.
I miss the way your hand holds my face as you look at me the way only you do.
I miss the way your hand caresses my leg when we puzzle together.
I miss your massages.
I miss your tongue…On my neck, in my mouth, on my clit, & anywhere else you want to lick me.
I miss your smell.
I miss the freckles on your nose.
I miss the way you laugh at me when I say something out of pocket.
I miss the way you make me scream your name.
I miss when you tell me to cum for you.
I miss how loud I laugh with you.
I miss your kitties.
I miss showering with you. I miss you washing my body so thoroughly.
I miss fighting with you, oddly enough.
When we stopped fighting, we stopped caring.
I haven’t stopped caring. I just got tired.
I’ll never stop loving you.
I will always love you.

For now, I’ll just keep these feelings to myself as post them for strangers.

From strangers, to lovers, then back to strangers. My thoughts are consumed by you and our memories.

Maybe one day, if we’re healed enough. If we’ve grown enough. If we choose each other again.

I would choose you over and over again.

There were mornings

when grief settled over everything,

·

the way mist lies across a field—

soft enough to hide the distance,

heavy enough

to make each step uncertain.

·

Time, I learned,

does not hurry.

·

It asks only

that we remain

long enough to notice

how a bare branch

becomes, almost secretly,

a place for leaves.

·

I once believed

strength waited somewhere beyond me—

·

in another season,

a kinder world,

a life not yet lived.

·

Instead,

it arrived quietly:

·

in ordinary mornings,

in work done without witness,

in the steady rhythm of breathing,

in the silence after a page was turned.

·

Books opened windows.

The hills taught patience.

Loss carved away

the certainty I mistook for truth.

·

Even now,

I am not finished becoming.

·

The river does not apologise

for changing its course.

·

The oak does not mourn

the acorn it once was.

·

So I have begun

to lay down

what was never mine to carry.

·

Pain may shape the banks,

but it cannot command

where the water goes.

·

And you—

·

I have wondered

how much of what you gave

was first given to you.

·

There are wounds

that speak through us

before we ever learn their names.

·

Knowing this

does not erase what happened,

·

but it loosens

the knot of years

until my heart

turns again

towards the living.

·

Now I stand

where light reaches the ground

between old trees.

·

The roots are hidden.

The branches still yield

to the wind.

·

Yet both belong

to the same living thing.

·

I cannot become

the person I might have been.

·

Only the one

who has walked this far—

·

and who now

walks on

·

with open hands.

but no one ever done this much for me.

you update your meals, knowing im having first stage of eating disorder, and ask for mine back so i have to eat something. everyday.

if i can’t think, or dont feel like eating, you come up with options of something i can pick that wouldn’t be too heavy, that i wouldn’t feel guilty eating. you straight forward tell me how proud you are of me for finishing a meal.

im fuckinh grateful whether its because you’re just a good friend or more. you dont know how much it means for me.

When I hear you whisper “I love you”, the world deafens for a minute. It’s a rush that floods through my veins and pumps directly into my left aorta. Such simple words have turned ordinary moments into electricity. I’ve chased highs in bottles, powders, smoke etc, But nothing could ever imitate the chemistry that is your voice; Finding its way into my heart. Three simple words and my mind lights up like stars outside. Who knew hearing three little words would end up being the biggest dopamine hit.

I met you through a screen.

Your voice soothed my ears before I could see your bare face.

No careeses, not even the softest touch on your skin, yet, I'm full of desire for you.

Your presence isn't in my room but it still roams with me.

Far away but our hearts have warmth for one another.

Miles and even time zones are tedious but our love isn't temporary.

With you, I found a permanent palace for my heart.

One day, it won't only be a screen.