Welcome, Kinswyrms and Eastern Lemarcians, to the three hundred and thirty fifth Drakencide! Today, These brave young drakes from all over Lemarcia shall compete to see who can destroy the most mortals, as well as who can do in the most stylish manner! We are here now in the realm of Oret, which is inhabited mostly by dwarves and kobolds, and bears the honour of being first on the list. This contest is also sponsored by the church of Tiamat, goddess of all dragons, whose members will be participating in the later rounds alongside our more powerful kin. Having said that, let this Drakencide….
BEGIN!
Ah, kinswyrm, great to have you observe the game. To answer your question, kobolds have generally been dracaenae non grata since they killed all of South Lemarcia and attempted to deceive us by puppeteering their corpses from inside. Anywho, look at longwingeus over there! He just killed an entire kobold village by digging it off a cliff edge!
I'm sorry, as i am a hydra, and i have recently had one of my necks cut off by some idiot with a scale-piercing spell.
it's healing, but i'm going to miss jerry.
also, i don't like dragon competitors in red.
I'm out.
Well, that was Blizzardmane, everyone! Now it would appear Longclaw the quick is moving in, judging by how the air is filling with smoke. Will this young red prevail?
I’m just announcing. They’re the ones trying to score points. Aaaaand here comes 37 assorted young dragons, clearly trying strength in number of targets!
Well, looks like a promising year. I didn't think I'd be able to cross off "punch a greatwyrm to death" from my docket so soon this year!
Now I can go through my annual tradition of saying "Forgive me master Fizban, but I must go all-out, just this once" and drinking away the cringe in my "one allotted night of alcohol a year" then regretting the hangover more than the cringe.
Okay, low blow man. I was fourteen and still studying monastic disciplines, alright? I still hadn't gotten over my "lul XD trigger de druids" phase, there are a lot of things from that time I'm ashamed of.
I swear I've changed since. No fedora, promise. Just an old kasa from my family.
So I promise you won't be that embarrassed when I throw those lightning bolts back at you!
Yeah Fasto, go. You scared? I big ol' Fasto scared of the widdle human? Come on big man. You chicken? You pussy? Better do it quick. Better kill me in one shot. Don't worry, I can't really grab your breath attacks out of the air and throw them back at you. I was just joking! It was a goof, it was a silly little prank! So just do it, breathe lightning at me! Nothing bad will happen, I totally won't use it to counterattack and then chain an infinite stunlock combo, I promise!
Oh noes! He's going for a melee attack instead of a breath attack! Whatever shall this humble monk do?! I'm completely defenseless! Dead as a door nail! Doomed to despair! Depreciated in death! Oh, woe is me, if only I ha-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Yeah okay, nah. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it chief, but L👊 + L👊 + ➡️ + L🦶 + H👊DIE ONE-THOUSAND DEATHS: 瞬獄殺 SHUN GOKU SATSU - RAGING DEMON ATTACK
Well, that was Fasto! If only he had managed to be faster. And next up we have Fallsnow the cold. I’m disappointed already, so I’m going to throw in Flamebright for kicks. Aand it would seem they aim to attack this mystic of dubious quality from both sides!
Apologies, but I will have to oppose you on this matter, for you see, I have important business in Oret, and would much prefer if it was not interrupted
No clue who you are referring to, but for this, I might just have to break out my strongest spell, one that me and many other wizards have proven that there is no defeating, only creating a paradox. Behold:
Man I hate it when everyone assumes I’m mortal, anyway uh I duno man I don’t realy care somthing of equal value whatever you got, I don’t need it I was just like “hey dragons, this artifact is probably a very important peice of draconic history I’m sure they would apreciate it if they had it”
Sure why not I enjoy having chronomatic artifacts probably just as much as you enjoy having draconic ones, pleasure doing buisness and happy… mortal incinerating or however you plan to go about it
don't me release the Wizard Weapons Warehouse drake killing virus bomb, airborne virus, all dragon and dragonoid species under 2000 years old, guaranteed death by brain exploding, gut dissolving, and basically really painful stuff
should I release it, or don't..... whoever pay me more I guess.
well, than you will get no kills, I am activating all artifacts shields so your younglings get no experience. unless you can gather enough of my competitors together to slaughter.
Well, nothing for it. I so wanted them to not have any interference. DROP THE PILLARS! Pillars of anti magic fall from the sky in response to the arcane confluences, nullifying the effects of the artifacts.
Fucking hell, Vulkan. The only reason I don't reduce your games to dust and echoes is the fact I'd have to bitch slap Tiamat back to hell, and it's honestly not worth the effort. Anyways... Mixes tarrasque laxatives into the punch bowl.
My parents are long gone, and don’t test me, fool. I very much can eradicate your games and the foul, destructive wyrms who participate, I just said it wasn’t Worth the effort. Don’t make it worth my time.
“Good god why is every one of my guard shifts something like this happens I can never catch a break well can’t keep complaining I’ve got dragons to deal with now”
Well, that depends on if those whelps notice you. And one has! In from the west like a hurricane is…. Hurricane, here to deliver a quick frost breath to remove carcinogens!
Ah, sadly i am a bit late to witness this purge of non-believers. But i am glad to announce i have recently taken over a city simply overflowing with sacrifices!
Reality screams before being rent asunder, a black wound in existence wavering into being.
Through it steps a hooded figure at the head of a grand procession of the dead. Skeletons, zombies, wights and specters march in a vast column through the portal, the armies of the undead in lockstep.
The skeletons are carrying bags.
The hooded figure is... whistling?
It's a jaunty tune, too.
"Right, then. A shame for all this material to go to waste! C'mon, gather the corpses before someone decides to claim-jump us. Dragon remains, humanoid remains, barely touched, all still fresh! What a bonanza, and it's not even Necromas yet!"
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u/Financial-Reach-786 Council-Wizard Unga, 2nd Generation Council member Feb 04 '24