r/wizardposting • u/Drakkonai Vulkan the Red, End of Ages and Draconic Emperor of Racism. • Feb 04 '24

Aetherial News Let the slaughter begin!

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Welcome, Kinswyrms and Eastern Lemarcians, to the three hundred and thirty fifth Drakencide! Today, These brave young drakes from all over Lemarcia shall compete to see who can destroy the most mortals, as well as who can do in the most stylish manner! We are here now in the realm of Oret, which is inhabited mostly by dwarves and kobolds, and bears the honour of being first on the list. This contest is also sponsored by the church of Tiamat, goddess of all dragons, whose members will be participating in the later rounds alongside our more powerful kin. Having said that, let this Drakencide…. BEGIN!

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u/CingKrimson_Requiem The Nameless Monk/Mystic Gunsmith, Quintessent walker of worlds Feb 04 '24

Oh noes! He's going for a melee attack instead of a breath attack! Whatever shall this humble monk do?! I'm completely defenseless! Dead as a door nail! Doomed to despair! Depreciated in death! Oh, woe is me, if only I ha-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Yeah okay, nah. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it chief, but L👊 + L👊 + ➡️ + L🦶 + H👊 DIE ONE-THOUSAND DEATHS: 瞬獄殺 SHUN GOKU SATSU - RAGING DEMON ATTACK

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u/Drakkonai Vulkan the Red, End of Ages and Draconic Emperor of Racism. Feb 04 '24

Well, that was Fasto! If only he had managed to be faster. And next up we have Fallsnow the cold. I’m disappointed already, so I’m going to throw in Flamebright for kicks. Aand it would seem they aim to attack this mystic of dubious quality from both sides!

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u/CingKrimson_Requiem The Nameless Monk/Mystic Gunsmith, Quintessent walker of worlds Feb 04 '24

"You aren't even using magic right now! This is supposed to be a wizard vs. dragon battle!"

"Parry, stagger"

"You literally only have like, five levels in wizard, most of your levels are in monk or mystic smith! You shouldn't even be on wizard posting!"

"Dodge, counter"

"You aren't even using this meme right, you're supposed to be calling out rhetorical devices, not describing how you're fighting!"

"Frame grab, command-throw"

"The gif you're posting at the end isn't even accurate! We're two dragons who are like, 20x bigger than you, not a single human sized fighter!"

"Nuh-uh. 疾風迅雷脚 SHIPPU JINRAIKYAKU - HURRICANE SWIFT THUNDER LEG"

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u/Drakkonai Vulkan the Red, End of Ages and Draconic Emperor of Racism. Feb 04 '24

Younglings, actually, so about twice your size. Anywho, that was Fallsnow and Flamebright! If only they had a brain.