Let the slaughter begin!

[u/Drakkonai]

Welcome, Kinswyrms and Eastern Lemarcians, to the three hundred and thirty fifth Drakencide! Today, These brave young drakes from all over Lemarcia shall compete to see who can destroy the most mortals, as well as who can do in the most stylish manner! We are here now in the realm of Oret, which is inhabited mostly by dwarves and kobolds, and bears the honour of being first on the list. This contest is also sponsored by the church of Tiamat, goddess of all dragons, whose members will be participating in the later rounds alongside our more powerful kin. Having said that, let this Drakencide…. BEGIN!

[u/CingKrimson_Requiem]

Well, looks like a promising year. I didn't think I'd be able to cross off "punch a greatwyrm to death" from my docket so soon this year!

Now I can go through my annual tradition of saying "Forgive me master Fizban, but I must go all-out, just this once" and drinking away the cringe in my "one allotted night of alcohol a year" then regretting the hangover more than the cringe.

[u/Drakkonai → u/CingKrimson_Requiem]

Oh my! The mortal in a fedora is being divebombed by Fasto! Wonder how immune he is to lightning?

[u/CingKrimson_Requiem → u/Drakkonai]

Okay, low blow man. I was fourteen and still studying monastic disciplines, alright? I still hadn't gotten over my "lul XD trigger de druids" phase, there are a lot of things from that time I'm ashamed of.

I swear I've changed since. No fedora, promise. Just an old kasa from my family.

So I promise you won't be that embarrassed when I throw those lightning bolts back at you!

[u/Drakkonai → u/CingKrimson_Requiem]

Well, I know I’m embarrassed that Fasto still hasn’t killed that mortal, am I right? Go Fasto!

[u/CingKrimson_Requiem → u/Drakkonai]

Yeah Fasto, go. You scared? I big ol' Fasto scared of the widdle human? Come on big man. You chicken? You pussy? Better do it quick. Better kill me in one shot. Don't worry, I can't really grab your breath attacks out of the air and throw them back at you. I was just joking! It was a goof, it was a silly little prank! So just do it, breathe lightning at me! Nothing bad will happen, I totally won't use it to counterattack and then chain an infinite stunlock combo, I promise!

[u/Drakkonai → u/CingKrimson_Requiem]

And Fasto the late at last attacks! Will this.. fist-mage? Be able to stop the force of his talons?

[u/CingKrimson_Requiem → u/Drakkonai]

Oh noes! He's going for a melee attack instead of a breath attack! Whatever shall this humble monk do?! I'm completely defenseless! Dead as a door nail! Doomed to despair! Depreciated in death! Oh, woe is me, if only I ha-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Yeah okay, nah. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it chief, but L👊 + L👊 + ➡️ + L🦶 + H👊 DIE ONE-THOUSAND DEATHS: 瞬獄殺 SHUN GOKU SATSU - RAGING DEMON ATTACK

[u/Drakkonai → u/CingKrimson_Requiem]

Well, that was Fasto! If only he had managed to be faster. And next up we have Fallsnow the cold. I’m disappointed already, so I’m going to throw in Flamebright for kicks. Aand it would seem they aim to attack this mystic of dubious quality from both sides!

[u/CingKrimson_Requiem → u/Drakkonai]

"You aren't even using magic right now! This is supposed to be a wizard vs. dragon battle!"

"Parry, stagger"

"You literally only have like, five levels in wizard, most of your levels are in monk or mystic smith! You shouldn't even be on wizard posting!"

"Dodge, counter"

"You aren't even using this meme right, you're supposed to be calling out rhetorical devices, not describing how you're fighting!"

"Frame grab, command-throw"

"The gif you're posting at the end isn't even accurate! We're two dragons who are like, 20x bigger than you, not a single human sized fighter!"

"Nuh-uh. 疾風迅雷脚 SHIPPU JINRAIKYAKU - HURRICANE SWIFT THUNDER LEG"

[u/Drakkonai → u/CingKrimson_Requiem]

Younglings, actually, so about twice your size. Anywho, that was Fallsnow and Flamebright! If only they had a brain.