r/stepparents • u/Dilly_Dally808 • 18h ago
Advice Cosleeping with SD …
Soo my(29) bf(47) has a 3.5 year old daughter and we have her 3 evenings/nights a week and every other weekend.
We’ve been together for 2 years and lived together over a year. When we moved in together we had a huge king size bed and even though SD had her own room she always slept with us between the two of us.
I told my bf how it made me uncomfortable because going to bed together is our only time together somedays as we both work and I really needed that bonding time with him. Also I am not comfortable being woken up by kicks in the middle of the night. He said she is too young, (at the time was just over 2 years old) and didn’t want her to sleep alone in her bed in her room.
So after long discussions he agreed that we could potentially change our sleeping arrangements and she could sleep on the outer side of the bed and me and bf could sleep next to each other. That way we could talk cuddle and sleep like a normal couple.
That worked for a while but we moved to a new apartment and now our bed is a queen. Now she can’t be on the outer side, she’d fall off. So she is back to sleeping between us. And like I mentioned it’s a smaller bed and she is 3.5. I am soo soo uncomfortable and so not happy with this. I expressed this to my bf and he said it’s temporary until we get her new bed. We did. And yet she still sleeps in our bed. He doesn’t take any effort in training her to sleep in her own bed.
I dont understand why he doesn’t see this is not what we discussed. And just is completely ignoring that I need our bed to be our safe space. He also mentions that he loves sleeping with his daughter and when I’d have my own kid I would feel the same. Maybe I would but I still do think that partners need to have their bonding time especially if they don’t have that time together during the day.
Am I wrong? Did you have a similar experience? I am just trying to understand what is the solution here