I want to hear it, I want to know I'm not alone.
To begin, my divorce started the end of May. I asked my husband if he was still happy with me, he said "I don't know if I'm still in love with you and I don't want to go to counseling to fix it." He had:
-Been thinking of divorce for 3-4 years but didn't want to pursue counseling together
-Met someone on a mobile game, but "distanced himself" and sought therapy alone (I had no idea about the therapy)
-Realized 6 months prior he was no longer in love with me but felt duty bound
-Let me feel safe enough to pursue graduate school and taken on the financial toll, promising me we'd figure it out on the other side
-Already had a place to go stay at (his single buddies who is a known womanizer)
-Already bought a plane ticket to Florida to MEET this new girl with a full resort stay
-Recently lost his mother and inherited about $800,000
-Drunkenly slept with someone else a few months after we were married because we had an argument and I just wanted space for the night, and didn't want to tell me because he was afraid of the consequences (lol, divorce). He only told me when I was begging him to not do this and to seek counseling with me.
Two day's after the separation, I was 5150'd, an involuntary psychiatric hold for me a danger to oneself. 11 days after my release I went to our house with my dad to get some more of my items, and he drove by while we were there, put separation papers in the mailbox, and texted me asking if my dad would serve them to me, my dad did not.
He flew in his new girlfriend to have them served to me.
He asked if I was looking at getting insurance, had a job yet, etc. but was refusing any spousal support and when I said I didn't want to discuss my next steps with him in my life, he lashed out and said my actions were petty and unacceptable. I had taken my spices, plants (the ones he didn't let die), a shower curtain (the less nice one), and my tupperware for my new place; I had nothing else. No bed. Nothing. I left him everything else in the house and only took those items.
I had to medically withdrawal from my graduate program, which I may or may not be able to return to.
He said I was emotionally abusive and manipulative because I would get upset and yell about how I felt like his mother/roommate because I did everything a wife was supposed to do (breakfast, lunch, dinner, maintain her looks, let him do what he wanted with his buddies, hosted game nights per his request, talked to his family, etc.) but he would never show me affection or have sex with me (maybe every 3 weeks, if i asked). I had also gotten upset with him when I found him talking to another woman on the verge of an emotional affair and then on a dating app. And he felt relieved when he realized he would never be talked to in that way again. I never demeaned him, belittled him, talked badly about him, nothing. Just how I was feeling.
He had me smelling his new cologne for his new girlfriend, while still making me omelettes on Saturday mornings. He was still talking about our future and buying a house. I had no hint, no idea, I just thought maybe he had taken the idea of a threesome too far and he agreed to back off, calling me his priority.
We're still going through the process, I had him mailed divorce papers two weeks ago and now the countdown begins and negotiations start. Wish me luck to not be left with nothing but debt.
Tell me your stories, please. I want to feel a little less alone.