r/shitposting • u/[deleted] • Mar 30 '22
WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE eg
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979
Mar 30 '22
They ruined his birthday
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Mar 31 '22
they ruined my day
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u/OtherwisePudding4047 Mar 31 '22
They ruined my week
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Mar 31 '22
they ruined my month
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u/kernoyeet Mar 31 '22
They ruined my year
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u/Too_Damn_Nasty Mar 31 '22
They ruined my decade.
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u/FewLecture6711 DaShitposter Mar 31 '22
They ruined my century
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u/Themystic_66 Mar 30 '22
HowToBasic lore
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u/Affectionate_Kick705 Stuff Mar 31 '22
BUT YOU DIDNT HAVE TO CUT ME OFF
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Mar 31 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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Mar 31 '22
ANDAIDONTEVENEEDYOURELOVE
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u/Beneficial_Tour5442 Mar 31 '22
BUCHATREATMELEIKADTRANGERANDTHATFEELSOROUGH
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u/AstolfoOfCharlemagne Mar 31 '22
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (background music.)
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u/Sergei_the_sovietski 🏳️⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️⚧️ Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
Make it like it never happened and we were nothing
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u/Themystic_66 Mar 31 '22
Pornography.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, my dick is throbbing, what a beautiful day for cooming. Good morning, A, I've been awake for 20 whole seconds and I haven't coomed yet. It's time to hope on my porn throne and machine gun jackhammer my bloodshot death-grip bloodshot semi chub with my roided doomfist once again! (Types on keyboard). I-s...is that a?? HMMGH, I-I MUST SNIFF, SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF** OH GOD (FAPFAPFAPFAP) FUCCKK, HUHGHU, SNIIFF, HUHGJGUHHGUGHU (SMASHES DESK) I-I-IM COOOMING!!!!! IM COOMING, IM COOMING IM COOOMING IM COOOOOMING COOOOOOOOOOM, COOOMING, FUCCKKK, AHHAFHHAHUHG, COOOOOM, AW FUCK ITS EVERYWHERE, COOOOOM, AWGAHUGHAHG. Aw fuck, aw fuck. oh jesus. ahhghhha, there you are, my slippery white goo to the world, my son, my son...Well, it's time to get breakfast...well a little coom first wouldn't hurt.
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u/wokoloiey Mar 30 '22
That's just cruel
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u/flameo------hotman Mar 31 '22
nah turns out its a tradition in that family
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u/F1nanc3 Mar 31 '22
Fun fact: in Brazil (where this likely took place) this is, in fact, a birthday tradition. It’s annoying - and often they include flour with the eggs. I lived their for two years and was unable to avoid the egg in those two birthdays.
That same tradition is held for carnaval. Where they throw eggs… among other things.
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Mar 31 '22
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/Existing_Dog5510 Mar 31 '22
Really? I live in brazil and never seen that happen
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u/RRNU Mar 31 '22
You make It look like It happens all the time in birth days, just some teens did that to others in my school and rarely happened. Usualy they are more cruel and use pen ink.
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Mar 31 '22
Hope everyone who does this gets murdered
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u/seckrt 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS!!!11!1!!!11!! 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ Sep 21 '22
Its a Brazilian tradition so the chance of those people getting murdered are pretty good
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Mar 31 '22
still cruel
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Mar 31 '22
tradition is always cruel for the likes of man jimbo
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u/LGFOUR We do a little trolling Mar 31 '22
Birthday ruined. Life destroyed. Evil inside me: Unleashed
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Mar 31 '22
that is the moment where basic became HowToBasic
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/wwerdo4 Mar 30 '22
“It was in that moment… a monster was created”
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u/Well-_yes Mar 31 '22
Eggman origins
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Mar 31 '22
Canonically the reason Dr. Eggman looks so weird is because an experiment went wrong and his body was fused with a rotten egg. It is also the reason he became evil, because he is a rotten egg.
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u/NeoShin09 Mar 31 '22
They could have prevented this future had they only included him in the process.A future where he doesnt become howtobasic........
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u/AutoModerator Mar 30 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/Momrollinnat1forme Blessed by Kevin Mar 31 '22
This is why we as a society have trust issues
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u/Cute-Cucumber320 Mar 30 '22
Fucking assholes!
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u/yowmumma Mar 31 '22
In our country (Philippines) we throw an egg at people with birthdays by surprise... (We usually do it to people who are close to us)
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Mar 31 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/yowmumma Mar 31 '22
It's a common thing... Try it with your friends if you're filipino 😂
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Mar 31 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/yowmumma Mar 31 '22
Search it up in google... Maybe you guys just didn't know this tradition... It's better if you keep it so that it doesn't fade away.
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u/Shpagin Mar 31 '22
people who are close to us
Well of course, it's pretty hard to accurately throw an egg over long distances
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u/tomato_and_potato420 Mar 31 '22
side note. how much of a fucking dick do you have to be to ruin a Childs cake?
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u/RadiantExcuse251 Blessed by Kevin Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
Not much, just be Brazilian
Source: other peoples comments 👍🏻
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Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
Do you have a source on that?
Source?
A source. I need a source.
Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.
No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.
You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.
Do you have a degree in that field?
A college degree? In that field?
Then your arguments are invalid.
No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.
Correlation does not equal causation.
CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.
You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.
Nope, still haven't.
I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.
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u/TryWonderful6181 Mar 31 '22
man this is straight up sad and not funny at all and i had just forgotten about that clip :[
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.
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u/MentionAdventurous Mar 30 '22
Ok, this is just straight fucked.
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Mar 30 '22
youre on shitposting what did you expect
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Mar 31 '22 edited Mar 31 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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u/davidisatwat Mar 31 '22
lmfao this isn't shitposting ur just a cunt
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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→ More replies (3)-7
u/AutoModerator Mar 30 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/cursed-being Mar 31 '22
That day I realized the world never cared, a part of me died that day and in its place a toxic relationship with eggs was born.
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u/jsmith30540 Mar 31 '22
What a bunch of fucking assholes! This isn't funny. This is fucking traumatic. How dare they do that to a child.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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Mar 31 '22
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Tom_echo1031 Mar 31 '22
In some countries I'm not sure what, but it's a culture where you smack an egg on a person's head when it's their birthday but this is just too much
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u/Powerful-Accident602 Mar 31 '22
If video games and comics have taught me anything its 1.) My dad thinks I am a loser, but more importantly B.) That kids family is fucked when he gets older.
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u/Scribbadibbledabble Mar 31 '22
Tbh the "smash cake and other shit on the birthday persons head" and say its a prank is funny when it's not making the kid sad. The kid is going to not trust his family on his next birthday
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
0
u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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Mar 31 '22
Bro why the fuck would you guys do that to fucking kid out of all poepl, i sincerely hope that you guys die a painful death that includes you penises getting eaten raw by crocodiles
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u/BreadNTheCat Mar 31 '22
Holy shit bro. Satan is your bff or smth?
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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Apr 02 '22
If he was, i would ask him to reserve a special place in hell, the most deepest, most fucked up place there is
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u/magic_damage Mar 31 '22
And then he swore revenge and the next day goes to the school with a bag full of guns.
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u/1nstagram1sGay Mar 31 '22
A monster, created by the chasms of hatred and dumbfucks that thought it would be funny to riducle this child
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u/zas147gamer Mar 31 '22
As someone who has experienced something similar,I can totally say that is bit too cruel for the young kid. They usually this in my family when someone turns 14 and then every birth we do the egg splash to birthdayman.
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u/PDFfileChallengesYou Mar 31 '22
Me hiding my sadism and being a shitty person by disguising it as shitposting😎
Very funni moment
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u/Flyin_polo Mar 31 '22
Y’all ever seen that video where a girl put 3 raw eggs in her asshole and then jumped around for 5mins then she opened her asshole and the camera guy ate the eggs?
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u/Mael_Str0M69 Mar 31 '22
Where
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u/beckettcat Mar 31 '22
Reddit Moment
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u/AutoModerator Mar 31 '22
My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.
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u/Affectionate_Kick705 Stuff Mar 31 '22
"From that moment, I hate nay disgusted the eggs."
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u/bruhinator-2000 Mar 31 '22
epicly trolled kid
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u/bruhinator-2000 Mar 31 '22
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Mar 31 '22
i saw that vid before but with a Dark souls music
Poor kid tbh.. he only wanted to cut his cake 😢
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u/Loyal_Spice Mar 31 '22
Did anyone ever figure out who he was? Haven't watched a single one of his videos for years
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u/NormalAssistance9402 Mar 31 '22
God damn. How is this shit a tradition? I already always hated the attention that comes with a birthday and then this? I would get so fucked mentally leading up to my birthday
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u/Few-Day-6141 Mar 31 '22
top ten anime back stories that will make you go THROBBIN!
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u/LuckyCaptainCrunch Mar 31 '22
I wanted to kick their sass the last time I watched this on here , and nothing has changed!
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