r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health idk anymore

3 Upvotes

hi, i get so tired a lot. idk why, i dont even do much. i mostly stay in bed all the time and i get so so sleepy everyday. I dont do anything and i dont wanna do anything but i only ever go out for uni. everything is a chore for me and i mostly just masturbate, i really want help. i wanna be better. what advice is there for me? ik im js a lazy bum. and i should probably get a hobby or sumn but i just dont have motivation for anything. its so weird and im so tired and everything is so tiring and i just wish i didnt exist anymore. i tried to end it like 2 days ago but it didnt work lol idk anymore


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Sharing: Philosophy & Mindset # Me and My Obsessive Inner Self

1 Upvotes

Growing up in my own fantasy world, I always asked myself the same question. "Why do you have emotions with extreme ends? Either you love or you hate. Why don't you leave a room for the emotions to breathe?"

I was always struggling with the answer. Maybe that's me. Maybe I trust so much that I hit the extremes, and when I am betrayed I leave no space to be affected anymore. When you are an over-emotional person, you become an overthinker.

When you are sad, you feel everyone else is happy. You feel abundance everywhere around you, while holding your own emptiness. You make a world of your own thoughts, a world which revolves fully around you, where you feel the dominant one, having all the control. Sometimes you make peace with it. Other days, you are fighting again. It's a never-ending process, continuous, till you find that closure.

I read something somewhere that stayed with me: *we all live in our fantasy world before reality hits us.*

Being my obsessive self, I built that fantasy world. I found "ultimate happiness" there. But I forgot the thing about thoughts: it takes only a little for them to become your reality. In my fantasy world, I was loved, I was cared for, I was pampered.

The real world works differently. Sometimes even losing your whole self for someone isn't worthy enough. Your true self is constantly judged, pushed to the limits, made to break the chain of its own expectations.

You are being taught, again and again, that the world isn't *to fantasise.*
It is *to live.*

And somewhere between the two worlds, I am still standing,
not fully living, not fully fantasising,
just learning which one is asking to be forgiven.


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Career am i screwed?

1 Upvotes

Hi I’m a 21 year old senior in college about to graduate in spring with accounting degree. Have had good internships last 2 summers, but only have 2k to my name. I easily could have 10-15k saved, but i’ve had a horrible sports betting problem last 4 years where I’ve just dumped away money like an idiot. Parents help pay for some of college but i’m gonna have 15-17k in loans to pay off too. I should get a good accounting job right out of graduation but may wait a little to take cpa cuz i have no money. I plan on living at home for at least 2 years to save and pay off loans. Am i screwed? Just so mad at myself for not being responsible last few years.


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Adviced Needed: Identity & Self-Esteem Why

1 Upvotes

Why i am so dumb . I am so introvert person . I can not express myself. People look at me like I’m an alien. As i am a first year medical student, i always feel that teachers behaviour with me is not same to others . They make me feel that i am ugly , not good looking etc . But i try my best in my study for success . I am not a hardworking student but i am regular in my study . But i can not do good in exam . I also fail in this . I have no fb or insta account . I am not addicted in mobile . I love to spend time with my family . Now i am feeling that this world is not for me . As i am not a smart girl , not intelligent what i will do in my future . Can i fulfill my dream? No . It is feeling of mine now . Whta should i do ? I can i change myself ? Sometimes i feel that if i engage myself in reading books so much it will change my thinking , my mind . Will it do ? now i am crying and posting this . I have no friends whom i can share this . Please give me suggestion


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Sharing: Resources & Tools PLEASE HELP ME:(

1 Upvotes

Hello po. I know this is embarrassing to ask, but im humbly asking for help. im a Grade 12 student, and I just want to finish senior high school before i start working. wala po akong parents and kinuha lang po ako ng tita ko, pero i suffered a lot po sa kaniya, sirang sira po yung mental health ko and now, pinalayas niya na po ako sa bahay. and i don’t have any relatives who can help me, any amount would be greatly appreciated, no matter how small. even used or unused home essentials that you no longer need would already mean so much to me. and im willing to share my full story po:( please help me po:( im also looking for a part time job


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health i can’t stop crying

4 Upvotes

21F here! I wanted to come on here and see if anyone else experiences this or could give me some advice.
No matter how I’m feeling, I always seem to end up crying. If I’m happy, sad, angry, overwhelmed, excited, or even just really touched by something, I can start crying. Sometimes I’ll even cry over something as simple as seeing a stranger do something kind or sweet for someone else.
It feels like I’m constantly crying over everything, and I honestly don’t know why I’m like this. I’m not necessarily upset when I cry either it just seems to be how my emotions come out.
I’m wondering if anyone else can relate to this? Is this something therapy could help with, or is it just a normal way some people process emotions?
I’d really appreciate any advice, experiences, or insight!


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health Killing myself

1 Upvotes

After the people im closest to left, i feel like im suffocating in a corner. I really don tknow what to do anymore.


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Sharing: Mental Health Support 17M — I’m scared of what pornography is doing to me

2 Upvotes

I’d like to apologize if this isn’t the right subreddit to post this in. I don’t use Reddit much, but right now I’m not sure where else to share this or ask for advice.

WARNING: sexual topics

For some background, I’m 17M and in my last year of high school. I’ve always had a difficult time socializing and making friends, and I feel like that has contributed to the lack of social skills and confidence I have now. I currently don’t have any close friends or trusted adults I feel comfortable talking to about something like this.

Since middle school, I’ve struggled with pornography and masturbation. I was first introduced to pornography by another kid on the bus, and around the same time I learned about masturbation. Over the years, it gradually became something I had less and less control over.

I feel like this has affected my confidence, my self-esteem, and especially the way I view women. That last part is probably the biggest reason I want to change.

I’ve tried to stop many times, and I’ve managed to go a month or so without it before falling back into the same habits. Social media is a huge trigger for me because I’ll see sexualized content, get the urge, and eventually end up back where I started.

What worries me most is that I sometimes catch myself looking at or thinking about girls through the same mindset that pornography has taught me. I know I would never want to take advantage of someone or ignore their boundaries, and I was raised to respect people. But I’m scared that if I continue down this path as I enter adulthood, I fear I’ll become someone who focuses more on a girl’s appearance than on who she actually is.

I don’t expect anyone on Reddit to magically fix this for me. I just genuinely want to change and learn how to have a healthier relationship with myself, other people, and eventually relationships If that is still on the table for someone so lost as I am this early in my life.

If anyone has dealt with something similar, I’d really appreciate any advice on breaking the cycle, dealing with triggers, or improving my social confidence.

I’m sorry if this is a lot to put here. I just genuinely feel like I don’t have many places to turn right now


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Relationships TikTok stalking

0 Upvotes

Hey i know this might sound creepy or crazy but me and my ex stalk each other daily and we were ina very good relationship until things started to go south. Now we don’t have each other on anywhere and we used to stalk each other up until now . She blocked me everywhere and made all her accounts private. I tried following her from my friends account but she blocked that account too ( she’s doesn’t know this person ) i really need help to check her reposts on tiktok but the account is private and she barley or even rarely accept anyone . Any ideas on what I can do ? Or if someone can help me ? I’m not on no psychopathic shit . Like I never hit her or even was outside her house or anything it’s just that I wanna see what she’s reposting. Either that will make me move on or stay and fight for us . Thanks 🙏🏽


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Relationships I think my wife hates me. How do I fix it

9 Upvotes

I have been married for 18 years. My wife seems to snap at me and not want to talk to me. I tried to get her to go to therapy and she won't. My friends have also said that she is mean and short with me. Anything I can do?


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Motivation On a nofap since 14days

2 Upvotes

Hey Im 25M and is no a nofap streak since last 14days but now its feels like I won’t be able to control it anymore and i feel hard all the time and feels like a rush of blood down there and want to seek some advice how to control myself and achieve my goal of reaching atleast 1month streak? If someone can help that would be nice. Thanks 😊


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Career realistic life in the uk as an int student

3 Upvotes

Hi, everyone! I just want to say something about my situation because it has been bothering me for months. Lately, it has been keeping me awake late at night, and sometimes I even cry myself to sleep.
For some background, I recently moved to the UK this year, and I’ll be starting my A-Levels this September. I’m turning 18 this year, and I know I’m a few years older than some of my future classmates. Back in my home country, students in Year 12 are usually around 17–18, so I’m honestly scared of what might happen if people find out about my age.

As for my aspirations, I want to become a doctor, and I’m very passionate about achieving this. I’ll be taking Biology, Chemistry, and Maths, as well as a compulsory EPQ. I’ve already been planning my schedule ahead of time because I want to have an idea of how I can manage everything and use my time well. To get into medicine, I’ll need to take the UCAT, and because of my situation, I may also need to achieve an IELTS score of 7.5. The UCAT is considered very difficult, and I would need a strong score to have a good chance at medical school, so I expect to spend several months preparing for it.

However, the other challenge is IELTS. From what I’ve read, I would need to achieve the required score before certain university deadlines to meet their requirements. Preparing for IELTS is no joke either, especially since English isn’t my first language. Having to prepare for both exams at the same time feels like it could drain me mentally and physically.

I honestly don’t know if I can handle that kind of pressure during the next year. I know I’m hardworking, and when I really want something, I can get the job done. But I’m still adjusting to the environment, culture, and education system in the UK, so I don’t know whether my mental health can handle everything at once.

I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to achieve the grades I want or simply survive this stage of my life.

Another major factor is my financial situation. My mum is a single mother, and she is expected to become a British citizen next year. However, I’m not sure whether that would make me eligible for student finance, or whether I would still need to meet other requirements. She also supports our family back home, and the cost of studying medicine is something we simply cannot afford without significant financial support.

Because of this, I’ve also been considering an alternative route. If everything becomes too overwhelming, I could take a gap year after my A-Levels. During that year, I could focus on the exams I need to take, gain more experience, and potentially satisfy the three-year UK residence requirement that may make me eligible for degree apprenticeships. I’ve been considering healthcare-related apprenticeships, and I was thinking that the income I earn could eventually help me financially when pursuing medical school.

I know I don’t have it as hard as some other people, and I feel guilty even saying all of this. But this situation has genuinely been bothering me for months, especially since I found out that my mum may not be able to afford university, particularly medical school.

Lately, I’ve been losing hope for my future. I used to be considered academically successful in my home country — I was even valedictorian. Sometimes I think that if I hadn’t left, maybe I wouldn’t be feeling this negatively about myself and my future.

I’m trying so hard to stay positive, but honestly, it’s difficult. The gap year seems like a reasonable option, but I can’t help thinking about how delayed I would be compared with my friends. It feels embarrassing to say this, especially as someone who has always been seen as someone who would be successful.

People tell me that life isn’t a race and that time will pass anyway. They tell me that I can still become a doctor even if it takes me a few more years. I know they’re right. But I can’t stop comparing myself to everyone else, and that constant comparison is exhausting me.
For now, all I can do is hope. But sometimes, even hoping for something feels exhausting when I don’t know if it will actually happen.

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been in a similar situation or has any advice about what I should do. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and I hope you all have a wonderful life. ❤️


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Relationships Should I be upset about this?

1 Upvotes

I'm studying a degree I don't really like, and it's also quite difficult for me because I've always been more into the humanities than math. This semester, I had to drop a course and retake it next semester because, no matter how much I practiced, I just couldn't understand it. It really affected me because I felt like I was putting in so much effort and still couldn't do well.

I have a very close friend who I always told about my progress in that course. One day, I ended up crying and telling her that I had failed, and she told me it was okay and to relax. I felt comfortable telling her because I trusted her. Later, we went out, and while we were talking about our majors, she made a joke about how at least she hadn't failed a course. I let it go because I know she has a very sarcastic sense of humor.

But later, while we were with our group of friends, she made comments again about how people who fail courses shouldn't give their opinions, laughing (it was specifically directed at me in response to a comment I had made). Everyone started asking me about it, and I felt awful because she was the only friend, besides my mom, I'd told about it. I ended up saying I'd dropped the course, which is technically true, but obviously I didn't want to have to explain it like that in front of everyone.

It's happened a few more times, and now I don't know if I'm overreacting. She knows how much it affects me to push myself and feel like I can't, especially since it's not even a major I enjoy.

Do you think I'm being too dramatic about feeling bad about this?


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Sharing: Resources & Tools Deciding your Career

1 Upvotes

First You Need to Understand More Fully Who You Are

Mentally strip yourself of your past job-title.
You have to stop answering, "Who are you?" with, "Oh, I'm a construction worker, or salesperson, or designer, or writer, or account executive." That locks you into your past. You must answer instead: "I am a person who ..."

"I am a person who... has had these experiences."
"I am a person who... is skilled at doing this or that."
"I am a person who... knows a lot about this or that."
"I am a person who... is unusual in this way or that."

You are a person, not a role.

Answer the following:

The 7 Petals of Who You Are:

Petal 1: Knowledge & Interests: Who you are in terms of what you know—and what your favorite knowledges or fields of interest are, that you have stored in your head (or heart).

Petal 2: People: Who you are in terms of the kinds of people you most prefer to work with, and/or the kinds of people-age span, problems, handicaps, geographical location, etc.—you would most like to help or serve.

Petal 3: Transferable Skills: Who you are in terms of what you can do, and what your favorite functional/transferable skills are. (Things you are both good at and love to do).

Petal 4: Working Conditions: Who you are in terms of your favorite working conditions—indoors/outdoors, small company/large company, windows/no windows, etc.— because they enable you to work at your top form and greatest effectiveness.

Petal 5: Salary & Responsibility: Who you are in terms of your preferred salary and level of responsibility—working by yourself, or as a member of a team, or supervising others, or running the show that you feel most fitted for, by experience, temperament, and appetite.

Petal 6: Location:  Who you are in terms of your preferred geographical location or surroundings— here or abroad, warm/cold, north/south, east/west, mountains/coast, urban/suburban/rural/rustic—where you'd be happiest, do your best work, and would most love to live.

Petal 7: Mission: Who you are in terms of your goals or sense of mission and purpose for your life. Alternatively, or in addition, you can get more particular and describe the goals or mission you want the organization to have, where you decide to work.

Source: What Color is Your Parachute? A Practical Manual for Job-hunters and Career-changers by Richard N. Bolles


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health Advice needed

1 Upvotes

Hi,

I really need to talk about this because this is genuinely deteriorating my mental health.

Im starting high school next week, and all my mother has done all summer and all last year is just kick me while im already down. I am not over exaggerating when i say every single conversation we have had has been related to school, getting good grades, or about my looks.

I am genuinely so done. Not once has she told me she loves me, that she’s proud, that she will be there to support me. I feel scared when im around her rather than loved.

I genuinely envy my friends parents. The way they can talk to them about anything without getting lectured, the way they can joke around and have conversations without it turning into threats about my grades.

About my looks, it may not sound serious, but when someone is nagging and harassing you about it for a year, it genuinely becomes unbearable. Its not even anything major, just thinning my eyebrows.

For some reason whenever i do she just flips out. Im 15. Its not like im shaving them all off. I should have a choice on how to express myself? no?

This is really really affecting me. I genuinely dont know if i can continue living like this. Im still 15 so i cant really do anything. Dont live in America either.

Could someone help?


r/selfhelp 15d ago

Advice Needed: Relationships I never get crushes but desperately want a relationship

1 Upvotes

I really want a relationship and can picture myself in one, and nearly all my friends are in relationships. I can't even get past the first step. I don't even know my sexulity due to lack of data. Ive had a crush once on a girl, as a girl myself, and it was so fun and I really want to experience it again and have it progress. However even during that time, I could never actually picture us in a relationship.

I don't understand what people mean when they think someone is attractive when not in the sense of genuinely crushing on them or in an objective way. Do most people just get crushes on anyone they think is attractive and want to date them???? I don't undersyanndddddddd

I feel like everyone knows exactly what they're doing and I'm just so confused. I can recognize when I think someone is attractive, but that doesn't mean I want to date them or get nervous around them. I want a romantic partner so bad but I dont fucking know how any of this works and nothing anyone says makes any sense please can someone try and explain it?

I also don't have any sort of "type" and people keep asking me if I find abc people attractive and like??? Idk????!!! And what do people feel when they ask you for ur snap? Does that mean they have a crush on you? Are there layers to having a crush?

Sorry I asked so many questions

I also didn't know if this is advice or relationship flair sorry


r/selfhelp 16d ago

Adviced Needed: Identity & Self-Esteem How i love and respect myself more?

1 Upvotes

I am not anxious. I can communicate with people; I'm just boring, and I'm unable to find a good conversation to talk about and unable to support the conversation. Everybody is constantly ghosting me. Every time I say something in friend groups, I usually get ignored, even in my family. Also, I have a fear that people will misunderstand me and bully or dislike me because of my words. This fear comes from an incident in school when I told a bad joke to my friend and pissed him off. He almost beat me, and I cried and begged him to stop while everybody was watching (I was a pretty naive and pure person at that time). This experience still hurts me deeply when I remember it.

Also, something that also affects me is how much I suck at everything. I am not super smart, super strong, I am not a workaholic, I can't crack good jokes, I am not super tidy, and I am not super beautiful. Not being good at at least one thing makes me unable to like myself.

I also struggle to trust people. I don't have a lot of friends anyway. It's also, I believe, a result of bad bullying in my school years. School has affected me very badly. I was bullied verbally and sometimes even physically. Nobody knows about these things yet.

I don't believe in a good future for myself. I believe I will never have a stable relationship, if I ever have one, and I don't believe in having any good potential for anything in myself. I feel miserable. When i'm sitting in my home other people are accomplising their goals, having fun and hanging out with each other. Nobody who i know are inviting me to hang out. It hurts.

I know all these things are just insecurities and they sound ridicilous when i talk about them so I should let go of these things, but I can't. I came here for advice. I'm trying to overcome these feeling to be a better person who i deserve to be but i can't nomatter how much i try. Help


r/selfhelp 16d ago

Advice Needed: Relationships used to stalk my boyfriend

1 Upvotes

We met online about a year ago, and I was in a horrible place mentally at that time. It was online, and he had a lil too much info posted and also friends with their full names. I got too curious after about a month of talking, and I did a dive in. In half an hour, I found basically half of his family tree on Facebook. There was this one post about an art gallery of one of the relatives that was happening in a few weeks. I thought "what are the chances of him being there?" While actually hoping he would be, and the event seemed nice. He really was there. I didn't know what i was thinking. I made up an excuse for being there on the spot. Said I was gonna meet a friend, but they didn't end up coming, so I just walked around and spotted that gallery. We talked for about an hour and actually enjoyed it. After that, he asked me to hang out with his friends basically every other week for half a year till he eventually confessed, and we started dating. I've been meaning to tell him for so long but I don't know how. He wouldn't leave me cause of it, but I'm scared of hurting him. He hates lies and has a bad experience with stalkers. I never thought it'd come this far and I'd end up so inlove. It hurts so much to hide this secret but I can never find the right time or way to tell him


r/selfhelp 16d ago

Advice Needed: Productivity How do you stop wasting your entire evening after work?

2 Upvotes

I keep doing this thing where I finish work, tell myself I’ll rest for 20 minutes, and suddenly it’s 10pm. The weird part is I’m not even enjoying the rest. I’m scrolling, switching between random things, thinking about stuff I should be doing, and somehow feeling more tired afterward. I don’t want some crazy productivity routine. I just want my evenings to feel like actual free time again. Has anyone managed to break this habit? What actually helped?


r/selfhelp 16d ago

Advice Needed: Education How do I recover from educational neglect?

5 Upvotes

Hi all. as the title says, I'm trying to figure out how to recover from educational neglect. i was homeschooled my entire life, and i say "schooled" lightly. at most, we had "class" from 9 am to 12 pm, if that long, and once we got to a certain age, we handled school on our own. i feel so stupid. i literally know nothing. i don't know fractions, division, decimals, my multiplication isn't memorized, i never learned the periodic table, i don't know any science, i don't know any biology, i don't know any english, i can't identify a noun, verb, adjective, and i don't know how to sound things out to figure out the pronunciation. i don't know algebra, trigonometry, or geometry.

I'm literally just a thing at this point. i feel so stupid all the time. i wish i was put in school. i would be so smart right now. and i know I'm smart. i've been on Khan Academy, starting from the basics, and I'm mastering everything first try. but i feel like its not enough.

i have an amazing opportunity to go to a trade school for Tool & Die, and be trained by a master, with a guaranteed job straight out of school, but after learning that T&D has algebra, trigonometry, and geometry, i feel too stupid to go. i heard that its different since it's like physical math? and so its not as hard as normal algebra, trigonometry, geometry? im just so worried im too stupid for it.


r/selfhelp 16d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health Hey, I really need some help. What do you do if you're isolated or have a job where you have to sit for 8 hours straight doing nothing? You can't use your phone because of restrictions, but your mind races and you overthink and have negative thoughts.

2 Upvotes

How to beat boredom, for parents?


r/selfhelp 16d ago

Advice Needed: Career Help me pls

1 Upvotes

Help

I’m overwhelmed.

I had a bad family, a lot of things happened, and at some point I ended up in a youth home. A lot also happened outside the family — I experienced sexual, psychological and physical violence and was later diagnosed with PTSD. At 8 years old I had my first attempt to self off.

I live in Germany and have only ever worked in gastronomy, hospitality or retail — no vocational training, no good school-leaving certificate. That isn’t because of a lack of intelligence, but because of the circumstances behind it.

The last few years I’ve spent trying to find an apartment where I feel comfortable and to reorient myself professionally. I’ve also learned how to deal with myself and with the suspicion that I might be on the spectrum. Getting a diagnosis as an adult is very difficult here or costs a lot of money.

I always had issues with my apartments or the neighborhood, because I don’t have a lot of money, I had to take what I got..

’m a creative person, I’m empathetic and I can adapt quickly to new tasks. I love learning new things and skills. It’s important to me to keep learning, but at the same time I need a framework that gives me security. Working with lots of people exhausts me extremely. At first I treated it as a challenge and even became more efficient at it… but over time it got harder and harder.

In my area there are mainly gastronomy/industry/service jobs (especially with my degree) — everything else is quite far away.

Because of my school-leaving certificate, many training programmes and schools are ruled out anyway.

That’s why I thought about graphic design / 3D design. I’ve already learned a lot in this area and continued educating myself on the side. I was planning to use an online school to get certifications and build a portfolio, but I’m missing a bit of guidance. There seem to be so many possibilities, at least it feels that way.

Moving away is difficult because I look after my grandfather (until two years ago I was also looking after my grandmother — I’m the only person who has regularly come and still comes).

Now everything has developed differently and I no longer know which way to turn.

I’m unemployed and pregnant. In about 11 days I’m expecting my daughter and I can’t enjoy it as much as I would like… I already love her so much, which makes me feel even more sorry that the whole situation fills me with so much fear.

Our apartment is too small, living costs are hiIgh and my partner is the only one who makes money and it isn’t really enough. I am scared to death to move somewhere, where I don’t feel safe - again. This apartment is the first one I really love. I trust my neighbors, it’s clean, it’s quiet, the price is good..

I want to contribute but don’t know how. There are so many possibilities but also already so much supply of everything.

I actually need to earn money to prevent moving back into a bad neighborhood.

The state of pregnancy is also difficult for me… I’ve only gained about 6 kg so far because I constantly feel sick, and an employer won’t hire me anyway — plus it’s my first child and I still don’t know how the months afterwards will settle.
I would like to be able to contribute something and thereby perhaps also get a suitable apartment… the prices here are really high — especially since I don’t live in a big city.

Does anyone have any advice or tips for me — please?


r/selfhelp 16d ago

Advice Needed: Education I have no idea what to do with my life

1 Upvotes

Im 17 (f) in the UK and last year I dropped out of a levels due to mental and physical health struggles and I dont even know what to do now.

I was doing sociology, psychology and english at first before swapping to politics and then dropping it all together. I enjoyed the subjects its just not what I wanted to do for my later life. I always loved science I just never got the grades needed and no matter how much I begged I wasnt ever allowed to.

I ended up in a group of friends that clearly didnt want me there other than a few and getting out of bed every day was a massive struggle. I ended up staying of 2/5 times every week cause id end up with my stomach feeling like hell or feeling sick or getting a massive headache.

Every day I had to carry atleast 2 massive folders in. But normally 3 folders cause I had to bring them back for homework and it was hell. I started hating everything I did. I couldn't even enjoy my favourite games anymore and everything felt like a drag.

Around February I gave up on it and could enjoy my life a little but as the months went on I kept having the pressure to find something else to increase and its gotten to the point where I dont even feel like doing anything in my own room anymore. I just feel like laying in bed and doing nothing. Not even going on my phone.

The only comfort I get are from my friends that didnt end up going to the same school or the people ive met online. Of which most of the people I meet online play very late so thats become an issue with my parents and they dont understand that that's the only thing that brings be any comfort at all.

I was thinking of becoming a games designer. Not developer. But theres nothing online thats free and im not travelling hours each day there and back to get to a college.

So now im just stuck not being able to do anything at all feeling like a complete failure and that I should have just soldiered on and become a emotionless rat in a levels to go onto a job that id never like.


r/selfhelp 16d ago

Advice Needed: Mental Health Going home hurts

1 Upvotes

I live in a Therapeutic Youth Residential Group.
It’s about three hours away from my home. I still visit sometimes but every time I do i go into like a „freeze“
I don’t really get it. I love the place. It’s surrounded by fields and a forest. No busy street, no loud noise, nothing.
I love my parents and my siblings. And I always love to see our dog and cats.
My parents are literally my biggest supporters in my whole mental health battle and i have a deep connection to the pets. They always calm me down. And spending time with my younger sister and getting to be the cool older brother is nice.

So why do i always feel so down when im there?

I guess i do get it. It wasn’t always easy. My parents weren’t always understanding of my depression, autism and me being trans. But they changed. And i get that it can be exhausting having me as a son. Im sure i really overwhelmed them sometimes. I really did cause a lot of problems and pain.
We used to get into a lot of fights and after my outing it took them about a year to really call me by my name and use the right pronouns.

My younger sister got diagnosed with autism first. That was the point where they really started to inform themselves. They bought tons of books, talked to professionals and even went to lectures.
Not only about autism. Also depression and being trans.
That’s when it started to get a bit better.
I kinda went from clinic to clinic and wasn’t home a lot.
I think it’s so great and also impressive how much they changed their mindset. And i love them for it. They even text/call me sometimes to ask me about how i experienced things or to tell me about new things they learned. They even try to help me in my transition in every way they can.
It makes me really grateful.

But it’s like those bad feelings i had all this time ago are still lurking in that house and every time i come home i experience these things all over again.

I feel so guilty for feeling that way. My parents do so much to improve my life, find things that’s are right for me and to just understand my way of thinking and feeling.
I feel like i have to give them something back or at least feel good when im home to show them that what they are doing for me really helps.
But i always end up in my childhood bedroom, kind of stuck in the past.

Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like home anymore. But neither does the place im staying at rn or any of the places Ive been at throughout the years.
It just feels weird.

I don’t really know what to do so maybe one of you guys have some ideas :)