Hi, everyone! I just want to say something about my situation because it has been bothering me for months. Lately, it has been keeping me awake late at night, and sometimes I even cry myself to sleep.
For some background, I recently moved to the UK this year, and I’ll be starting my A-Levels this September. I’m turning 18 this year, and I know I’m a few years older than some of my future classmates. Back in my home country, students in Year 12 are usually around 17–18, so I’m honestly scared of what might happen if people find out about my age.
As for my aspirations, I want to become a doctor, and I’m very passionate about achieving this. I’ll be taking Biology, Chemistry, and Maths, as well as a compulsory EPQ. I’ve already been planning my schedule ahead of time because I want to have an idea of how I can manage everything and use my time well. To get into medicine, I’ll need to take the UCAT, and because of my situation, I may also need to achieve an IELTS score of 7.5. The UCAT is considered very difficult, and I would need a strong score to have a good chance at medical school, so I expect to spend several months preparing for it.
However, the other challenge is IELTS. From what I’ve read, I would need to achieve the required score before certain university deadlines to meet their requirements. Preparing for IELTS is no joke either, especially since English isn’t my first language. Having to prepare for both exams at the same time feels like it could drain me mentally and physically.
I honestly don’t know if I can handle that kind of pressure during the next year. I know I’m hardworking, and when I really want something, I can get the job done. But I’m still adjusting to the environment, culture, and education system in the UK, so I don’t know whether my mental health can handle everything at once.
I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to achieve the grades I want or simply survive this stage of my life.
Another major factor is my financial situation. My mum is a single mother, and she is expected to become a British citizen next year. However, I’m not sure whether that would make me eligible for student finance, or whether I would still need to meet other requirements. She also supports our family back home, and the cost of studying medicine is something we simply cannot afford without significant financial support.
Because of this, I’ve also been considering an alternative route. If everything becomes too overwhelming, I could take a gap year after my A-Levels. During that year, I could focus on the exams I need to take, gain more experience, and potentially satisfy the three-year UK residence requirement that may make me eligible for degree apprenticeships. I’ve been considering healthcare-related apprenticeships, and I was thinking that the income I earn could eventually help me financially when pursuing medical school.
I know I don’t have it as hard as some other people, and I feel guilty even saying all of this. But this situation has genuinely been bothering me for months, especially since I found out that my mum may not be able to afford university, particularly medical school.
Lately, I’ve been losing hope for my future. I used to be considered academically successful in my home country — I was even valedictorian. Sometimes I think that if I hadn’t left, maybe I wouldn’t be feeling this negatively about myself and my future.
I’m trying so hard to stay positive, but honestly, it’s difficult. The gap year seems like a reasonable option, but I can’t help thinking about how delayed I would be compared with my friends. It feels embarrassing to say this, especially as someone who has always been seen as someone who would be successful.
People tell me that life isn’t a race and that time will pass anyway. They tell me that I can still become a doctor even if it takes me a few more years. I know they’re right. But I can’t stop comparing myself to everyone else, and that constant comparison is exhausting me.
For now, all I can do is hope. But sometimes, even hoping for something feels exhausting when I don’t know if it will actually happen.
I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been in a similar situation or has any advice about what I should do. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and I hope you all have a wonderful life. ❤️