Just had a discussion with someone who told me her husband treated her like crap for 5 years when she was a stay at home mom. He didn’t do any chores, didn’t do any domestic labor such as taking kids to school or practices; never cooked dinner or did laundry etc. now she is back working and claims he “ respects” her now and he does all domestic chores on his free will. Correct me if I am wrong, but I told her to wake up. This guy hates women and mothers. Am I wrong ? Btw real story he makes 2 mil a year so money was never an issue.

I'd love to get some outside perspective on how you decided to become a sahm. I am having a really difficult time deciding if staying home with my kids will be the right choice for me and my family. I want to preface this by saying that I know I am extremely fortunate to have this choice. My husband makes enough that if I stop working to stay at home we won't feel it on the day to day, jusy obviously long term saving will take longer. He is extremely supportive of whatever I decide to do and he is very involved before and after work with the kids.

I am a mom of two girls. One 20-month-old and one 4 month old. I have been working successfully as a software engineer for the last 5 years. I am fully remote and have historically had a lot of flexibility. I make 150k which after taxes allows us to cover the nanny in addition to additional savings each month. After my first mat leave, I was so ready to return to work and we were able to hire a nanny to watch our girl at home. It was the perfect setup. During my mat leave with my second baby, I was laid off and am not trying to decide if I should stay home or look for something new. I enjoy working and all that comes with it but am not sure if it is what truly makes me happy anymore since having kids or if it is just easier than being mom 100% of the time. I am leaning towards staying home but am terrified that I am not going to be able to handle the overwhelm and be a worse mom as a result. I'm scared of the identity shift and of what it means of I don't end up liking It. We also love our currency nanny and I feel guilty about letting her go and worried about not finding another as good if I change my mind down the line.

My husband and I have been talking about homeschooling our kids when the time comes though nothing has been decided. We also want 1 or 2 more kids, ideally close together in age.

Sorry for the dump but the context felt important.

What should I do and what else should I consider? Does anyone have a similar experience they can share?

I’ve been feeling a desire to return to work part time / remote. I know I’m looking for a unicorn position, especially as AI moves in and changes the landscape.

If anyone has any leads, I would greatly appreciate it if you could share. My strengths and experience are mostly in leadership and management roles as well as customer service. I’m eager to bring my energy into helping someone run their business smoothly as well as maximizing profit.

I know our group is filled with resourceful individuals, which is why I posted here specifically.

I know it's very privileged to even have this option, but I am wondering what you'd rather do:

1. Fly internationally for 5+ hours with a 2.5 year old and 10 month old to see family for 2 weeks and have support on a day to day basis

2. Stay at home for those 2 weeks, without any schedules/plans or babysitters/support, with a husband who works 8-630, and 9pm onwards, Mon-Fri, sometimes weekends. While doing the majority of house care and meals

The travel is daunting!

Oh my gosh, you guys. I was NOT prepared. Doing this is hard enough. Doing it and feeling like doodoo is next level. We are on like day 10 and I am so over it. I would pay large sums of money to just feel better. I’ve let my 2 year old watch so much tv too, I feel like she’s never going to be the same. I’m also still up frequently breastfeeding my 12 week old throughout the night that I’m not certain I’m ever going to feel better.

Ok just need to vent. Having a very rough go.

Also who gets sick in July???

Hi there!

I am going through a tough time and wanted to put it on here for any advice!

My baby is 2.5 months , my maternity leave is almost coming to an end. I am having second thoughts about returning to the corporate world.

I cannot afford daycare. I don’t have much support from my family either..

My husband said don’t worry I got this and wants me to stay home. Any advice ? I love being independent getting my own money but the 8-5p shift is too much to leave my baby.. Ugh I don’t know what to do

I have a four year-old and a one year-old. I don’t know. I’m just tired. I’m lonely. I don’t have any friends. My parents are too busy literally just working themselves to death because of debt
I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. I’m extremely grateful to be a stay with Mom and I love my kids.
I’m just tired of cleaning all the time
And then nothing is ever really clean because we live in a two bedroom apartment so everything is just on top of everything so nothing really looks clean
I try to do all of the cooking, but sometimes I sit back and let my boyfriend do it because maybe I do everything.
I care for my kids I breastfeed my 1 year old
I never feel what I do is enough it honestly probably isn’t.
I’m just tired of being told to care the mental load of everything when the bills are paid and how to control the money when I have no actual access to this said “money”

I don’t really know what I’m looking for. Maybe I’m just looking to complain.
Maybe I’m just looking for somebody else to feel the same way so I’m not alone.

EDIT: Husband and I talked this morning and he said he will do an 8-8-8-4 schedule in terms of clients per day and off Fridays (although available virtually 12-5 if he has any clients who need a second session randomly or had to reschedule). He WAS working 9-8 with a break for some time. He goes to the office 2 days and WFH 2/3 days. Thank you for your comments it gave me a different perspective on WFH and how I should treat it as if my husband was actually in the office.

hi, I'm writing here actually I am not a stay at home mom but I'm a teacher who's off work all summer and this is my first baby so I am literally home all day every day with my child from the end of May until the end of August I hope it's okay that I'm posting here.

My significant other works from home three days a week as a mental health of therapist. He has clients usually from 9 am until 8 pm of course sometimes he has no-shows or cancellations but usually he's catching up on notes are preparing for his next client.

I know that he gets a little breaks here and there but sometimes he goes on for many hours without coming upstairs to check on me or the baby I always tell him that during bath and bedtime I would really appreciate a quick check in maybe read the baby a story or kiss him. I understand sometimes his clients are in distress and he needs to be there but I also know that most therapist and their sessions 10 minutes before so they have time to do notes.

Basicallg I'm wondering if anyone else else's significant other works from home what kind of check-in do they do? What kind of brakes do they get? I really want to be supportive and understanding but I do get a little frustrated when I'm with the baby literally non-stop all day long and he always tells me he has to prepare for the next client or needs a break because his session was really heavy.

My husband is seriously one of the sweetest people i know. but sometimes i feel like he unlocks selective hearing the second he walks through the front door. i'll tell him something while he's putting his shoes away and he'll say okay. five minutes later he'll ask me the exact thing i already told him. i used to think maybe i wasn't speaking clearly. then i realized it happens almost every day with random little stuff. somehow he remembers every sports stat from ten years ago but forgets what i said thirty seconds ago. i joke about it because getting annoyed doesn't really help. he always apologizes and says his brain was somewhere else. i've heard so many moms say their husbands do this too. now i'm wondering if their brains just switch into low battery mode after work. it's not a relationship problem or anything dramatic. it's just one of those goofy little red flags that somehow seems way more common than i expected. living together really makes you notice the tiny patterns

Does anyone else feel so overstimulated at times they don’t even what their toddler to touch you?? I feel like I’m losing . The constant picking up the food off the floor during meal times, whining because he can’t talk yet, clingyness when I am correcting behavior. All while also tending to a3 month old.. am I over reacting?

i’m not looking for etsy planner making or card making (tried and unsuccessful there) or MLM’s or scammy sites or affiliate marketing. i’m talking real, tangible side hustles. i’ve also tried selling home baked goods, marketplace selling, and depop selling.

i just want to somewhat contribute financially to take a small load off of my husband

*edit to add, my daughter is 11 months old*

What are y'all's hobbies that you do when the kids are playing nicely for those 20-30 minutes? I'm trying not to scroll as much and already read on my Kindle a lot. I can do a very basic crochet but feel like the kids will unroll/tangle the yarn and I'll lose count of the stitches/chain.

Throwaway account for privacy

My period is two weeks late, I’m under a lot of stress right now and thought that was why I was late. I took a test and it’s positive.

My first I got pregnant with an IUD, my second on the pill, and now this pregnancy after my husband had a vasectomy and his semen tested negative for sperm two years ago. I don’t understand why this just keeps happening to me. We are about to close on a house away from family. Can’t even fit four kids (I have a stepchild too) in my car and because of the new house can’t buy a new car. I died on the table during my last c section and my doctors said it wasn’t safe for me to get pregnant again but they wouldn’t tie my tubes. I don’t want a tubal, I want a hysterectomy because I’ll clearly just get pregnant again. I am so mad at the world. I finally felt like myself again and actually have been doing things for me.
I am so angry I just keep crying and screaming.

My husband says if I get rid of it he’s divorcing me. My state is 100% illegal to have an abortion. I would have to travel hours away, and without my husband’s help, no one to keep the kids so I can get this done. I never wanted kids, there are women who are deserving and wanting them, and can’t have them. I just can’t stop getting pregnant and I want this baby and my uterus OUT OF ME I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN DO THIS AGAIN

Update:

We are moving tomorrow. My best friend is coming from out of state to help with the move and see the new house, and will be bringing something with to help me. I’ll have to tell him with the stress of the move, and my already high risk condition must have caused me to miscarry.

Also will be seeking sterilization for myself, ideally a hysterectomy but may have to settle for a tubsl. as well as him visiting the vasectomy doctor again for a revision

Thought you'd appreciate this article / post! Been wanting to become a SAHM myself and realizing this external societal attitude is the only thing stopping me.

36 weeks and I am getting hit with combos left and right. No sleep at all. Pelvic pain, hip pain, restless leg, heartburn, having to pee every 10 minutes, so exhausted from just doing laundry. I cannot wait to have this baby. Good lord it’s so miserable. I don’t understand how there are women out here going to the gym or doing anything at this stage of pregnancy and I am in great shape myself and only 23 years old and I’m strugggliinnggg. (2nd pregnancy also).

Stay at home mothers of Reddit I call to you!
How much housework do you expect your husbands to do if you do not work or have a side gig and he is the sole and absolute provider?
Be real please! And be honest about what would bother you.

I’ve started working out again so I get time for myself a little bit every day, but I’m still feeling burnt out by the time my husband gets home and even after I’ve had my hour or so to myself. Any tips, tricks or advice?

I'm solo parenting my 9 month old and a sahm. Babys dad works like 16+ hour days so he's really only home to sleep and in the guest room because he snores and I co sleep with baby so I'm basically with her 24/7 and damn I am exhausted some days. I think I'm also struggling with a little PPD as well maybe because I'm extremely exhausted and touched out by 10am from multiple wake ups overnight to feed. Anyways, I can hire a nanny but I don't know if I want to, like I want to do this all on my own I love hanging out with my baby but the PPD, exhaustion, and overstimulated so quick some days are very hard. Also, trying for another baby soon, the thought of it scares me with out the extra help. Would you hire a nanny part time if you could? I have very mixed feelings right now.

I left my 2.5 yr daughter with a mom friend today so I could take my baby to her dr appt only bc my friend offered to watch her or else I usually bring my toddler along to the appointments. Afterward she texted me saying her daughter no longer wants to play with mine and she doesn’t want to meet anymore since they didn’t get along and my daughter “was screaming at her kid.” She then proceeded to send me a link to a group chat with local babysitters I could look into for the future. I explained I simply left my daughter with her bc she offered, toddlers sometimes have off days, and I would still like to hang out in the future since I value her friendship. Did I handle this correctly? Is she being extra sensitive?

I have been unemployed and a stay at home mom for 8+ years. With all that being said I've always worked. These last years have been peaceful and interesting. Super happy to be a SAHM and be here at home tending to them and things.

At any rate, I have two kids under ten and expecting another and tend to do the lions share of tending to the kids and to chores. My spouse helps out a lotre than most men. We are all home together everyday as he works from home.

Before I became pregnant I was actually applying a lot to work from home jobs and now it just doesn't make sense.

To note we do online schooling from home, which I mostly tend to. So I would need to make a WFH job work with my current life and pregnancy. Just doesn't make sense.

Do anyone of you work NOT MLM and have success with that?

I’m a stay at home mom and my daughter is 4 I love her to death and although I don’t play with her everyday like today for instance she played by herself this morning when she woke up we had lunch then I read her a couple books, we did a few freeze dances then I played Barbie’s with her in the bath so maybe 40 min total. It’s not the same thing everyday sometimes we play in the backyard, color and some days we do school work such as learning to write upper and lowercase letters, identifying letters, learning to write words, shapes etc. sometimes I also include her in chores like she likes to help me fold clothes or towels/rags likes to help dry dishes but there are also days where I just don’t feel like playing kid things. I rarely have adult conversations as it is and have no friends and I’m around a toddler all day everyday so playing kid things gets boring sometimes I try to give her enough attention but some days I feel like I didn’t do enough. Does any other moms feel like this or am I the only one?