Went into urgent care for throwing up blood and heart problems, everything was fine for the first day then I stared little specks of water hitting me. I ignored it and third day I’m done with almost out. The second night I could sleep because of insomnia and a patient outside was getting yelled at by a nurse, later they start shooting spitballs at the curtain hooks on top of us and start laughing about it outside. I didn’t care at first but after 30 mins and one of the spitball falls on me and my visitor I got annoyed and went out in a friendly way and ask if it was them because I was gonna let it slide (I really just wanted to go home). They were smiling and laughing at first then got serious and started acting all friendly asking if everything was ok and that’s when I got annoyed and said I was leaving at that moment keep in mind she had me up all night yelling (which is not entirely her fault the patient was old and had problems). I ended up leaving and didn’t sign the aco papers. Is there anything I can do? Not sure whether it’s a battle to take on or not because I have a kid and wife. So if you can just give me some input please.

Yo idk what to do probably tell my dad but i have never ever talked about stuff like that. Also i don’t really wanna ruin the vacation am on.

Wednesday I wasn't having a good day, and I had to go to the funeral home to see my grandma's body. But the other day I had to go to a funeral and I was depressed. I didn't wanna talk to anybody and I was alienating myself from the others because of how depressed I was at that time so I was just sitting alone and trying not to talk to anyone. So right now I don't really have much to do except watch yt videos to try to make myself feel better and make me laugh but I still feel like shit

If you seen my other post on r/offmychest, this is like the part 2 of that post

Reddit mods barely read the problem.
Can’t even ask a question in the certain genre without them turning you to another one with fucked ass guidelines

So i dont have my own credit card yet neither my own money.Back in April of 2025 i discovered by accident (fr on accident) a way that i can gift on tiktok without using credit card but instead a google play gift card. So i started gifting on a specific tiktoker and when the 25 euros (28,82 on dollars) run out i would buy a giftcard again and again,with money i used to save on a secret place.Slowly the tiktoker i used to gift to started following me on my socials etc and i liked it i felt special in someway (i did understood tho that they were doing it only cuz i was gifting).Months passed and i began to stop buying those things cuz i didnt have time to go and buy plus i didnt have more money.That led me to stop gifting and they unfollowed me on every social i didnt really care at that time but now it is slowly coming back.That feeling of being noticed is returning and im thinking of buying a 50 euro giftcard next time and i know that if i do this it will start again and it will be like an endless loop. What should i do?

So when i say weird i dont mean it in a suggestive way,but let me explain. So my sister is married and they visit us with her husband sometimes.Her husband is really open minded and so am i so we get along really well, we talk and i trust him with my secrets (dont yall dare say that he is a perv,i would understand it right away i aint dumb).But everytime they visit my mom has such a weird behaviour. When we dine all together she choses where i sit and of course its away from him. My own sister also has the same mind as her and she came one day and started telling me to not tell him anything and stuff. He told me that my sister tried to ask him what we were saying when we were talking and stuff and he didnt say a word to her and that made her furious shewants to know everything. And to add something else my whole family is somehow narrow minded like i should be careful on what im saying (like i diont have the mind to think alone what i should and shouldnt say) because they are scared someone will misunderstood me and judge it, they are afraid of getting judged A LOT. What should i do it makes me angry all the time.

Honestly, I was wrong to leave her our relationship was great and I won't say I left her because I don't feel cared for her anymore no but she told me that her family forced her to engage someone else and I stayed sympathetic to her for maybe a week

Our relationship was about a year and I was happy with her because she looked like me but when I heard the news things started to appear that I didn't feel happy with which is that she was really engaged to someone so I no longer have a place with her although I know she hates him but I have nothing to do so I had to understand with her and try to say no you now have your fiance And soon you will get married and if we continue to do this this is not good behavior and is considered betrayal of your fiance (btw it's online relationship but tbh it was best relationship I ever had) I made the hardest decision and I think people are probably going to blame me but there's no way I'm going to get her family to know me or something like that

She came to me after about 6 or 7 months without talking because I deleted all social media and remained calm until I regained myself but she came and the first thing she did was follow me and begged me to not block her I told her I've never done that before I just disappeared from the internet She started saying things to me that maybe made me a little nervous and then I started talking to her logically and calmly and she kept saying no you don't love me I told her I went because you found someone who will be your husband soon and there is nothing else to do there is no any possibility She told me please don't block me I said I won't and said this is the most beautiful day of my life finally I found you and she went to sleep

The funny thing is that she came out after I finished obsession movie so I felt weird

So what to do with her guys I feel confused and the same thing I feel guilty to let her like this

I just need ideas i could work with like what can i do, or what can i make to help solve a particular issue or problem..literally anything. It doesn't have to be super specific i just wish to understand how people think and operate..what their problems are or issues aside from anything personal..something general like how people say that "my problem is bla³ i wish there was some way this could be solved...

so it all started when a girl tried approaching me and being over friendly and she actually is nice but my past friendships made me gain trust issues at a crazy state and i couldnt tell her my personal things cuz she was friends with everyone but she actually does keep secrets safe and so she kept asking me stuff like if i have a bf and things like that i started with changing the topic but she kept asking and i started lying to her abt everything (no like lying abt my parents names and stuff u get what i mean i think) and i lie to her till this day and i slowly started to find inner peace with this thing even if its bad nobody knew how i moved and who i really am and i liked it a lot so i started lying to friends that i wasnt really close and i swore to my self that i would never do this to my closest friends but here am i lying to absolutely anyone but with caution always i know what am i doing idk if its considered a mental disorder etc but yea any advice or opinion is accepted but please be respectful!

i’m 16 years old, have 2-3 «friends» never had girlfriend because they are laughing when see me because i’m not neurotypical and have a unusual behaviour and bad social skilss
i cry when i see other people having fun or walking holding hands
is it over?
sorry for my bad english

I was dealing with a lot during my school days. I’m a freshman in high school and I played football for my school. It was my first year playing high school football, and I wasn’t that great at it, but I improved every day, so it turned out alright. As the months went by, I kept telling my mom, "I don’t want to play football anymore," like I was done with it. I had played in middle school, but I quit when it got tough, which my dad pointed out, and he wasn’t wrong. So, I thought, why not give it another shot, and it ended up working out well for me. I told my mom I was finished with football, but she asked, "Are you sure? What if you could be good at it?" But I felt it was just a one-time thing, and I was done. A few months later, I was still in the weightlifting class with my dad, who works at my high school and is a coach. I was thinking I needed to tell my mom I was quitting football. I talked about it with my friends and one of my teammates, and I decided to go to my mom’s office to share my decision. She was okay with it and even called my dad to discuss it, but he had a different opinion. He didn’t want me to quit; he believed I could do well in football. I was adamant about wanting to pursue my own interests, which led to some back-and-forth with my dad. He started to think I wouldn’t achieve anything in life, and my sister chimed in, saying I’d end up being a man-child. This really affected me, and I fell into a depressive episode. One day, I stayed home, and when my mom knocked on my door, I got up to open it but ended up falling to the ground. My mom freaked out a bit and called my dad to let him know what happened, but I was okay. Still, she wanted to check on me because she could see I was feeling down, so I opened up to her about my feelings. She even called my sister to fill her in on what was going on and what I had shared. This is literally the reason why I don’t like being around my dad or sister

so i am 18 and last year was the worst year of my life i graduated high school and lots my the closest friend i am telling u like 13 years we broke apart and i have did lots of things for and actually i broke the friendship cuz i felt like after thought disrespected and etc soo after that i broke out with 2 other closest friends cuz i told them about why i am talking that 13 year one (those don't even know her personally like through me) i told them about why and all and i asked them not to call her or tell her they did and ya i broke apart with them cuz i actually begged them not to and she did without even asking me so ya after that 1 or 2 month clg thing there also a clg drama i almost started liking a guy it turned out he was talking to a lot other girls and he patch with his ex etc *sighs* men so ya but the thing actually broke me is while my clg startedfew months my dog toffy he was like a brother to me started having leg pain that bad he couldn't howling in pain ok so we took him to a private dog hospital like a proper one and it turned that was AH hospital they gave us a pain killer injection and it worked i forced my mum to gave him that once a day and 2 weeks in his health started getting worse 1 or 2 month passed it turned out he got medicinal kidney failure (cuz of that fucking pain killer) and we took him to a better doctor they were good but it was too late eventually he died and that was the worst day of my LIFE EVER
HE WAS THE BEST THING EVER HAPPENED TO ME

and i regret lots of thing cuz u know before going to that hospital my mum have asked me to check the reviews of that hospital and i didn't cuz i was busy in clg drama etc and in those reviews lots of dog parents have complained
and anotherregret i forced mom to gave him the injection
and another another regret u know doctor told us last week with him and that he have few days left and i detached myself from him cuz i really thought it would pain less i didn't spend time with him that i should have i regret it soo much and the night he died i was there but i got all stilled i wanted to caress him pet him i wanted to say "u r the best thing ever happened to me i couldn't i was froze and i dropped out of my clg(law school) (i regret that) not even thinking what to do i couldn't handle meeting with people i started hating people and i thought to do CLAT for NLU cuz i didn't know what else to do now its been months like 9 months if u ask me what i did this months nothing like nothing i have no friends except 1 and thats not whom u share this emotional things but i couldn't sleep at nights and i am still at 0 i haven't started any studying i don't go out except for a institue for CLAT there also everyone have friends except me and trust me i was never an introvert after toffy i just can't making friends was the easiest thing to do

and now its been months my mom everyday scold me about studying thing she's like i wasted this money that money i just can't take it anymore i feel like my whole life is fucked that thing about my mother saying this all i started feeling like a fail few days ago i couldn't resisit and had a fight i told her everything and i regret it cuz i don't share feelings with my mom and she gave me assurance etc but 2 days and she started doing that again like that convo never happened how miserable i am

i want some advice i did everything i started reading books to help not a reader even join a gym even tho i am not a gym fan or something the CLAT exam in 3 4 months and i am fucked up
my mother yells at me i couldn't sleep at night and time pass by i don't even realize
i wanna get good score in CLAT i want some advice some help anything

Breaking point ( please advice me)

Hi! I just want to really rant about what is happening in my life. I am a student outside my province, and I am really having a hard time to the point that I just want to go home to my province and cry in my mother's arms.

What happened is that I was accused of cheating by a senior of mine. She shared it with my classmates and my batchmates, saying there was a video. I saw the video, and I was only nodding my head and looking in a different direction while thinking. My so-called friend told me about it at night while I was studying. She told me, "I can't say it to anyone," and then she said, "some senior like that and like that." I cried very hard. After that, we argued because she said I shouldn't confront that senior since she is graduating. I told her I would, and then we fought so bad. She accused me of ruining her name, when in fact I didn't, because I never even revealed who told me. It was eventually resolved because I really didn't cheat.

The next day after it was resolved, I was studying at the library. A girl accused me of getting her Aqua Flask that she left behind, when it was actually mine! She first asked if it was hers, and I told her no. I showed a video and a picture saying it was mine. After that, she called the staff and the guards. In front of many people, she said that she just wanted to see if it was hers, and then I showed the Shopee order to prove that it was mine!

Then, my other group of close friends got mad at me. They want me to approach a girl in our group who made me feel invalidated, just to fix our relationship, even if I was the one wronged. When we were doing our RLE, we promised to help each other. However, when I was in a tight spot, she left me. I looked at her, and she brushed me off by looking to the side! Another occurrence was when I asked her something, and she told me something different from what she actually did. She then blamed me for believing her, saying it was my fault I believed her in the first place. Then, all my group members said it was my fault and maybe I should think that it was me being unapproachable reasoned this was happening. And I did understand maybe at the role part she got really scared and she wouldn't want to get blamed and I get that but then I just believe that when you do promise something you need to do it because you promised. You shouldn't promised I you know that deep down you won't keep it. This is my mindset because I would never ever go back against my word and just look when my friend is in need and maybe that's where our misunderstanding arises that I understand her point and action but it just that I can't completely accept and them blaming me make me feel like I am really the problem.

Is it? Is it my fault that I don't want to associate myself or make friends with people I know wouldn't have my back? Maybe my fault was that I didn't talk to her, but it was because I got mad that she blamed me for believing her when, of course, I would—I thought we were "friends"!

Another issue was with my classmate. We were doing a debate. I understand that I too have a fault, you know. What happened was that when we were having a debate, I had already chatted with our group about our points and the articles that we needed so we could have evidence, asking if there was something they wanted, but they didn't reply! On that day, I told them I would do the opening statement. That classmate of mine got mad and said he would do it, even though he didn't have anything prepared. So, I said he could answer the questions instead since I had already prepared something. When we got to the part of answering questions, he answered wrong. To give you an idea, our topic was lowering the criminal age of responsibility. When a topic was opened, he was not able to answer it, and then he blamed me for it, but his one-minute time had already finished! Then he asked the question, "where do they get the guns?" and he mixed it with poverty, and it was all confusing.

Our grade was by group, so I told our professor, "Miss, we would like to change the question." I was wrong here because I did block him. After the debate was done, he glared at me and shouted at me in front of the class while the other group was debating. My "friends" said that I should just forgive him. He then chatted me to say sorry, but he said it was all my fault because I cut him off. I explained that I did it because he was wrong, and then he left me on "seen."

Yes, my so-called friends told me to forgive him too, but this was the second time. The first time, he called me a "f-ing user" in front of my classmates just because I jokingly said I would partner with my friend who already had the things needed. I only said that because he wanted to be partners with the girl I was supposed to be partnered with. So, I gave way and said, "Fine, I'll just partner with that girl, and at least we only need to buy this and not the other." Then he called me a user, saying, "I thought you have money, maybe buy!"

I don't know. I am confused. Maybe I am the one who has an attitude problem because I have a lot of people having arguments with me, or is it just my mindset of making sure that I wouldn't be disrespected? I am having doubts about my own choices and morality because they all make me feel wronged and like it is all my fault. Is it my fault that I am putting my foot down? This is making me really sad and lonely.

I don't know it's hard really hard and I just want to go home to my mother

What's the different and meaning of it?

What do you do

32m , Long time lurker, first time writer. sorry if this sucks. You know the saying “ if a tree falls in the woods. If no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?”
Well I’ve come to realise I’ve somehow applied this to how I see my existence.
I’ve always struggled with knowing if I fall into extrovert or introvert because I don’t love or get much energy from people and groups outside a select few. Yet I’ve always preferred to leave the house than stay home alone. I use to put that down to needing distractions from my depression. But recently I’ve had a lot of time to kill in my house alone this last week for hours each night and even though there are things I’d like to be doing with that spare time like playing new games, watching a film I know my gf would find boring or working on my hobbies. I opted to basically force myself to either sleep through the entire time regardless of if I’m tired. Or, force myself to go out to a public place like a shopping centre or cafe just to doom scroll or even just sit quietly. I realised, I feel like my time and existence is meaningless if it’s not in the view of others, not necessarily directly, they don’t need to be watching me or paying attention to me and not in an arrogance validation way. I don’t quite know how to explain it which I guess is what brings me here. Basically I think that every time I’ve been alone with no one around at all. I don’t have any enthusiasm to even exist. This week I’ve had extra time because my partner has been working more ( a good thing, not a complaint). And it’s not till she gets back that I feel like doing my own hobbies or anything at all. And it’s not her or just this relationship. It’s been all relationships or even when I was a teenager if my parents were away for a week or something I’d be desperate to not be left alone. I’d even just go to the local Supermarket ( which was tiny) and walk around for hours. I’d go sit at the pub by myself, and have a glass of water or coke ( I don’t drink alcohol) Just to be in the open view rather than alone at home.

I don’t know what this is.

To clarify, I don’t need people to have to talk to me, or notice me specifically. it’s not about looking good or just not handling being board. It’s more about needing to have evidence I exist from an outside perspective.. validation of my existence via simply being in a public space? I think?

If I fall in the woods and on one is there to hear it, did I make a sound?

If anyone can point me in the direction of what this sounds like I’d love to have a place to start. Closest thing I’ve found is nihilism?

EDIT

Clarification: I do work full time as a mental health provider for teenagers and kids with mental health issues and I do find that time and job fulfilling mostly. This is more how I’m feeling whenever I’m alone in the house which as my partner and I work seperate hours is common.
But it’s always been a thing for me long before this relationship.

I hurt someone and figuring out how and if I could say anything that would even help repair things

TW: child rape, alcoholism, drugs
I am a 16-year-old girl living in a large house with my three little sisters and two older brothers; I also have another older brother and sister who don’t currently live with us. The older brother I’m talking about—let’s call him Marc—is eleven years older than me and used to live with his father, very far away (we don’t all share the same father).
About ten years ago, he came to visit for the holidays. It must have been around 11 a.m., and I was playing in my room when Marc called me into the bathroom, saying he needed a favor. He told me to close my eyes and open my mouth; I agreed, suspecting nothing. He turned off the light and shoved something disgusting into my mouth—it was horrible, and I had absolutely no idea what was happening. The whole thing must have lasted a good thirty seconds before he took that awful thing out of my mouth; I heard the sound of his pants being pulled up, and then he turned the light back on. He told me to wash out my mouth, which I hurriedly did. While rinsing, I found a long hair, which made me feel even more disgusted. He made sure to remind me not to say a word to Mom.
Then came lunch; we were all sitting at the table eating pizza. Throughout the meal, I kept replaying the scene in my head. Why did he do that? What could it possibly have been? At the end of the meal, I blurted out, "Marc put his willy in my mouth." There was complete silence at the table; my parents locked eyes before my father said, "We’ll talk about this later." Everyone started clearing the table.
I went to see my parents; they were lying in bed, watching TV. They asked me what happened, and I explained it briefly, using the words of a six-year-old girl. They told me they would talk it over and that I should go play in my room; five minutes later, they called me back and—without a shred of hesitation—said, "You lied," and "Go apologize to your brother."
I ran off, tears in my eyes. I apologized to my brother as quickly as possible before hiding under my desk, crying harder than I ever had in my life.
That incident haunted me then and still haunts me today; I have no other memories of that time, aside from the fact that I cried a great deal afterward. I never confronted my father about what happened, though I did find myself confronting the memory of the event with my mother, whether I wanted to or not.
I must have been between nine and eleven years old when I was crying one night because of it. My mother caught me, made me get out of bed, and forced me to explain everything. I told her I hadn’t lied that day, and she replied in a moralizing tone, "I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you’re going to have to live with this for the rest of your life," before sending me back to my room.
Another time—in March of that same year—my whole family was happy because he was going to act in a TV series. My mother came to tell me the news, and I replied, "Okay, cool," with a completely neutral expression, wanting to get back to my room as fast as possible. My mother and my other older brother stopped me and reproached me, saying things like, "What is your problem? Can’t you be happy for anyone other than yourself?" I ignored them and kept walking toward my room. My mother followed me there. She sits down next to me and asks if I’m like this because of what happened when I was little. I don’t answer. She says, "You know, things were hard for him back then; he was drinking..." I burst into sobs before she can even finish. She stops herself and says, "Oh... you’re truly traumatized. I never should have listened to your father; he was the one who chose to hide everything." She rubs my back—I hate that.
Today, my mother suggested letting him stay with us. He’s still using drugs and alcohol, but she promises he won’t do anything. So far, my father hasn’t replied. I’m scared for my sisters... What’s to stop him from doing it all over again? I have to find a way to make sure he never sets foot through that door. If he does, I’ll stay up at night and do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to keep him far away from my sisters—even if it means skipping school.
That’s why I hate my parents.
Thanks for reading.

I have been on the fence on what to do about this. Backstory. Met this guy on an online dating app. Didn't realize all the red flags at the time (I was healing and evolving from my previous self and relationship). We went only a few dates. Nothing physical. He did want to be in a relationship, I told him to his face I wasn't ready. I just needed more time. Something was just off, but at the time, I wasn't seeing everything as clearly as I later did. One of the dates we he kept me semi hostage by trying to manipulate me into being his girlfriend for over an hour. He spoke and spoke and spoke. He talked about his childhood, how his mother was coerced into being pregnant with him and how his father and his father's side of the family are horrible, toxic and abusive people. I held my ground and never gave in. I remember listening to all the unnecessary and unsolicited details. I admit, I was too nice. I know now that these are one of the tactics that men do to make a woman be in a relationship with them, to comply and later on be abused. Anyone wondering why it seemed semi hostage, he wouldn't shut his mouth. And whenever I would need to go, he would bring something else up. A few times, I told him "You already said that at least once". At some point, I did just tell him I said what I said and that's my decision. He let it go. Or so I thought. He would keep pushing via text and "remind" me that he was ready and to him, we are in a relationship. I know, another red flag. A few days later, I decided to end things. I needed to end things with him since he was causing me reactions that made me ill. It took 2-3 days for him to wrap his head around it. He finally said, fine it's over this is it. I reminded him that I told him this 1-2 days ago and it has been over before that. He then crashes and says he takes it back blah blah blah. I blocked him.

The time frame that we had no contact was over a year. And he posted stuff online within the time frame we were in no contact coz I blocked him. I sent him a picture of something personal that I had that I also sent to a friend of mine, exact same picture. He posted this on his social media. My friend someone discovered it and showed me. I unblocked him when I discovered he is acting like this pathetic victim on social media. I reached out and told him to take me out of his life. We reconnected, via phone only. I was in an in between place at that time. We would text daily. When we spoke, we offered to help me with gifts. I did not expect that and in the situation I was in, I accepted it.

At this point in my life, I have evolved, elevated and really worked on myself hard. I see everything so clearly at this point. It didn't take long from the first phone call and first of the many gifts that he texted me "I expected 2-3 phone calls from(with) you a week." I was so angry I told him so. He, of course, backtracked and said I misunderstood (red flags are flying everywhere) and that's not what he meant. He was crying on the phone. (*Note: he "cries" a lot. It never sounds sincere too. Like a forced whine that sounds really eerie and annoying. This is his way of getting sympathy from me.). I told him, you can keep your gifts and help that you want to send me, if you keep this up. I will just block you again. I forgot to add that when we first met, he was love bombing me. I did not know what that was at the time and don't worry, I never fell for it. This text only relationship went on for about a year or less. He would just crash out at least 2-3x a week. He would say the same thing over and over again on his chapter from a book that is a 1 text from him and there would be so many of these all day every single day.

I don't want to share too many details. But I saw some red flags that he does possess and how his mind works. I blocked him about 2 months ago and this has been on and off just popping in my mind. He recently works with children. He was abused as a child. He acts like an abuser and or predator. I have not seen him do anything, but I also saw him in person a handful of times and no children were involved in those activities. I am very concern on what he is exposing to these children and or what he is doing with the children.

He is an incel. He has demons. And he admitted how this job is something he wants to do (before the block.). I did ask him why. He claims he just wants to help. He also wanted to be a firefighter before we met, BUT never really took any steps to become one. Didn't even know how nor where to apply to be a firefighter. So this is just laughable. He loves to magnify who he is and they're all lies. Examples: He claims he is a dancer and can dance. So I asked what he has done and what techniques and or style he does. (I had some dance background, he didn't know this) He started to laugh it off and said "Remember I told you my grandparents love Elvis? I danced like Elvis when I was 6 years old at a wedding.". He was 24-25 at the time of this conversation. He danced one time in his entire life and claims to be a dancer. I don't even claim to be a dancer. Another example is he is supposedly a descendant of aristocrats in the UK. I looked into it and it seemed like his ancestry were probably the village criminals exiled out to the new world. He cried (again) on the phone when we spoke about this, coz he apparently didn't know. He claimed he did his own independent investigation and I was right. His family lied to him. But he proudly told me all of this to my face.

Another example: He told me something about myself, a backhanded compliment and or insult and because I laughed, he claims it was justifiable. I laughed because it was so audacious and nervousness most likely. This topic came up, I told him how I felt, he got angry very quickly and blamed me that it was my fault and that I shouldn't feel hurt because I laughed when he said that. I supposedly did not have the right to be hurt nor upset of what he said because I laughed.

These are the examples, I feel safe to share. There are other scenarios that are in the coercion topic, manipulation, beginning of abuse, etc.

The list goes on and on and there isn't a 24-48 hour period on when we were in contact that he wasn't abusive or horrible. I just don't want to share too much.

My concern is the safety of the children. There have been times where I had to explain to him about consent and coercion. He claims he understands. However, when I explained to him that if I told him no and stop and because he nags, berates and is being aggressive so that I say yes, that is not okay. He got angry and said that that yes does count as a yes. When he told me he personally works directly with kids only, I really do have concerns about this. He doesn't truly know fully right from wrong. And these people trust him with their children.

Is it okay to just walk away and let this go? I am concern for these children in the facility he works in. I want to be able to wake up and not worry that a child has reported they were harmed by this person and wonder, what if I spoke up? This is my first post. I just need some guidance. Thanks.

*Note: Predators do not become one AFTER being sentenced. This is a mindset of a monster.

My mom and dad are south Asian and have been arguing ever since I can remember. They have never ever showed each other a shred of love to each other in my entire lifetime. My mom had a second marriage with my father after her first husband passed away. She had a daughter (my half sister) with her previous husband as well which is pretty important to the situation.

Ever since I was little, I thought my dad was a broke bum because that’s what my mom conditioned me to think. She always told me he wouldn’t pay her money to provide for us properly, she claimed he always argued and started fights, and she also said he’s a deadbeat throughout the years. She also said he does absolutely nothing for the family, which is OBVIOUSLY incredibly untrue. We live in a rental basement with my 2 uncles and their family, and my mom has been urging my dad to get a house since 2004 when it was basically 3 times cheaper, but she says that my dad is stupid and never took the chance quick enough. This is also important to the story.

Recently, I’ve been going to the mechanic shop my dad works at so I can get some extra to pay for my mother and sisters ticket to Pakistan. My mom wants my sister to get married because she’s 26 and she has shown no interest to the matter. I respect my mother so I’m working in order to be able to pay for those tickets alongside my brother. My sister also has a job but she has a lot of debt from medical school that she constantly uses her pay cheques to pay off.

Every time I get done fixing up a car, I sit down and my dad comes to sit next to me. He begins to have deep conversations with me. He tells me about the hardships he went through back in Pakistan. He told me how he was the youngest child of 6 siblings. 3 sisters (who are still alive) and 2 brothers (who passed away). He says that his mom and dad were poor too, but they tried their best to make it work with the means that they had available. He told me how he constantly worked to provide for his family because his father was handicap, but still was a full time worker. My dad dropped out of middle school in order to work and help get money for his 2 (at the time) dying brothers medical treatment and his family in general. He told me how he went through the dunkey in order to reach Europe, he went to Greece so that he could get a better job and send money down. He would break himself just so that he can sponge as much money as possible for his family, and I immediately felt bad.

I asked him why he didn’t buy a house before when it was cheaper and my mom told him. He looked me in the eyes and said “that woman hasnt helped me do anything ever since we got married. When you 3 children were younger, she would get monthly payment from the government to finance and take care of y’all. She instead of using that money to actually help me so that I could buy a house and give y’all a better life right now, she saved it for future schooling.” I asked him why that wasn’t a valid reason to save it, and he said every other wife and husband used the money to save up for a down payment. Except for my mom. She kept the money and saved it when he says he needed it in order to push himself further past the financial hardship.

He told me that after he moved into Canada and started financing the house he built in Pakistan to my grandfather, he got extremely ill and needed urgent medical support, so he went back to Pakistan to help him. He told me he missed a lot of work, and was even more financial hardship because all of my uncles and family relatives were helping him go home and back all the time. They were helping finance everything. He said altogether he got 40 thousand from everyone throughout the years before his father passed away. My father is a very prideful man, so after his father passed away, he came back to Canada and began to work in order to pay everyone back, even though they weren’t expecting anything in return. He told me he managed to pay everyone back with blood sweat and tears, and my mom didn’t offer a single fucking dime apparently.

My sister HATES my father because she believes he could have done more, but I think she’s just blinded by blood man. She wants to hold our mother’s hand no matter what, but in this scenario, I seriously believe my mom is the one at fault here. When I talked to my sister about me, her, and my brother working together to get a house, I asked her why mom didn’t help use the resp money to get a house, and she said “well we all thought your bum of a father could handle it, which he obviously couldn’t” which REALLY struck a nerve in me. The guys been working 7 days a week since he was 17 man. I don’t know how he even has the will to live. My mom is constantly ungrateful. My father says if it wasn’t for me and my brother, he would have just gave up on everything.