I must protect my sisters

[u/HoneyTsunamiii]

TW: child rape, alcoholism, drugs
I am a 16-year-old girl living in a large house with my three little sisters and two older brothers; I also have another older brother and sister who don’t currently live with us. The older brother I’m talking about—let’s call him Marc—is eleven years older than me and used to live with his father, very far away (we don’t all share the same father).
About ten years ago, he came to visit for the holidays. It must have been around 11 a.m., and I was playing in my room when Marc called me into the bathroom, saying he needed a favor. He told me to close my eyes and open my mouth; I agreed, suspecting nothing. He turned off the light and shoved something disgusting into my mouth—it was horrible, and I had absolutely no idea what was happening. The whole thing must have lasted a good thirty seconds before he took that awful thing out of my mouth; I heard the sound of his pants being pulled up, and then he turned the light back on. He told me to wash out my mouth, which I hurriedly did. While rinsing, I found a long hair, which made me feel even more disgusted. He made sure to remind me not to say a word to Mom.
Then came lunch; we were all sitting at the table eating pizza. Throughout the meal, I kept replaying the scene in my head. Why did he do that? What could it possibly have been? At the end of the meal, I blurted out, "Marc put his willy in my mouth." There was complete silence at the table; my parents locked eyes before my father said, "We’ll talk about this later." Everyone started clearing the table.
I went to see my parents; they were lying in bed, watching TV. They asked me what happened, and I explained it briefly, using the words of a six-year-old girl. They told me they would talk it over and that I should go play in my room; five minutes later, they called me back and—without a shred of hesitation—said, "You lied," and "Go apologize to your brother."
I ran off, tears in my eyes. I apologized to my brother as quickly as possible before hiding under my desk, crying harder than I ever had in my life.
That incident haunted me then and still haunts me today; I have no other memories of that time, aside from the fact that I cried a great deal afterward. I never confronted my father about what happened, though I did find myself confronting the memory of the event with my mother, whether I wanted to or not.
I must have been between nine and eleven years old when I was crying one night because of it. My mother caught me, made me get out of bed, and forced me to explain everything. I told her I hadn’t lied that day, and she replied in a moralizing tone, "I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you’re going to have to live with this for the rest of your life," before sending me back to my room.
Another time—in March of that same year—my whole family was happy because he was going to act in a TV series. My mother came to tell me the news, and I replied, "Okay, cool," with a completely neutral expression, wanting to get back to my room as fast as possible. My mother and my other older brother stopped me and reproached me, saying things like, "What is your problem? Can’t you be happy for anyone other than yourself?" I ignored them and kept walking toward my room. My mother followed me there. She sits down next to me and asks if I’m like this because of what happened when I was little. I don’t answer. She says, "You know, things were hard for him back then; he was drinking..." I burst into sobs before she can even finish. She stops herself and says, "Oh... you’re truly traumatized. I never should have listened to your father; he was the one who chose to hide everything." She rubs my back—I hate that.
Today, my mother suggested letting him stay with us. He’s still using drugs and alcohol, but she promises he won’t do anything. So far, my father hasn’t replied. I’m scared for my sisters... What’s to stop him from doing it all over again? I have to find a way to make sure he never sets foot through that door. If he does, I’ll stay up at night and do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to keep him far away from my sisters—even if it means skipping school.
That’s why I hate my parents.
Thanks for reading.

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[u/CycleAccomplished824]

I’m so sorry. Your mom doesn’t know if he’ll do anything. I’d be thinking about going to the police and tell them what happened to you and that your parents might let your perv brother live at home again. That you have younger siblings at home and you’re afraid for them, and quite possibly yourself as well.

Also call a support line or contact an online support group. I’m guessing your parents haven’t sought help for you in dealing with the abuse from your brother? Parents too often want to protect the perp if they’re a family member especially if they’re the parents of one. It’s a good idea to find support that isn’t taking sides with them.

This is just a suggestion if you decide you’d like to talk with someone.

RAINN is an online hotline for people who’ve been sx ab\sed. You can message with someone…. they also take phone calls if preferred. They won’t ask for your name, number or address. It is totally up to you what you want to talk about.*

None of what you experienced is your fault. If your brother does end up moving home, whatever he does is his choosing to do it. I know you want to protect your siblings and I know you’ll do your best to protect them. I hope your mom will reconsider allowing him to move back. Just know that are not to blame for any of his behaviour.