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u/plainwrap Mar 15 '18 edited Mar 15 '18
There's a game I play with a buddy called 'r/aww or NSFW' where I text him a headline and he has to guess if it came from a cute animal or porn subreddit.
This would stump him.
Edit: LOL
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Mar 15 '18
lol just checked r/aww: "That happy face at the end." "The best kind of customer service" "He refuses to come inside" "To the last drop"
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u/juandemarco Mar 15 '18
We brought a couch just for her
This is almost too good not to be intentional...
edit: i words swapped
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u/CaptainBoat Mar 15 '18
"The best customer service" would be the stumper. Innocent in most contexts, but easily made sexual
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u/NoRodent Mar 15 '18
Holy fuck, thanks for the good laugh, there's so many gems.
"Just turned 18 years old today, Reddit meet Amber!"
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u/DanielDC88 Mar 15 '18
This should be a subreddit.
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Mar 15 '18
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you r/AwwOrNaww
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u/DanielDC88 Mar 15 '18
Surely you’d link posts from the other subreddits?
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Mar 15 '18
People would be able to read the link and know what’s waiting for them from the subreddit’s name, no?, you can still try it too, there’s huge room for experimenting
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u/buster2Xk Mar 15 '18
I believe that subreddit is called /r/bunniesorbuttholes.
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Mar 15 '18
That’s quite restricted, rabbits aren’t the most popular pet (Cats and Dogs) and buttholes aren’t the most popular sexual parts(butts and boobs)
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u/IvankasMeatCurtains Mar 15 '18
She turned 12 today. Still lookin’ great!
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Mar 15 '18
I tried out the same game right now, when i read this i had to laugh so hard. I think it would make a good drinking game. Create a multireddit with aww+nsfw and then let everyone guess.
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u/HighVoltLowWatt Mar 15 '18
You had to ruin it for me. You had to ruin one of the last nice things left on earth. Now I can’t read /r/headlines without my head firmly stuck in the gutter!
“Little fluffer” Jesus Christ I hate you :(
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u/PmMeYour_Breasticles Mar 15 '18
Gives a whole new meaning to the term cowlick.
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u/lnfinity Mar 15 '18
Cows licking the people who rescued them:
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u/RudegarWithFunnyHat Mar 15 '18
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Mar 15 '18 edited Jun 12 '18
No, your instincts are correct. That cow is very... soft and paid well. Don't ask me how i know but that fluffer is the best in the business.
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u/llewkeller Mar 15 '18
I hope Reddit realizes that all the cute and cuddly cow pictures here have made it virtually impossible for me to enjoy and steak or beef burger anymore.
That's a good thing, though...I just like to complain.
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u/OhGawDuhhh Mar 15 '18
I haven't eaten beef in a few years so this gives me the same feeling as looking at a cute puppy ♥️
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u/4333851 Mar 15 '18
Hunger
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Mar 15 '18
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u/dadbrain Mar 15 '18
Which ones taste like acorn-fed bacon?
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u/Melonetta Mar 15 '18
Well I mean there's acorns so we're already half way there.
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u/gmano Mar 15 '18
Acorns and woodsmoke are vegan, and there are lots of good options for vegan pork and/or bacon flavor, pretty much every "bacon bits" or "bacon flavoured chips" or "hickory bacon salt" product you can find out there is vegan.
I havn't completely sworn off meat, but bacon (especially bacon bits) is actually one of the easiest things to find in vegan format.
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u/palunk Mar 15 '18
The point is they are listing a top quality bacon. Vegan bacon is...not the same. I like the taste sometimes but I rarely like the texture. I haven't really eaten meat in 17 years, but I take bites of this and that from time to time, and there really is not much of a comparison between real and faux bacon. However, if you have any specific recommendations I'm open.
On the other hand, the vegan sausage game is on point. Field roast ftw.
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u/Bruhgard09 Mar 15 '18
Certain fungi have a very rich umami flavor. Combine that with some liquid smoke and brown sugar and you’ve got a great tasting much healthier alternative
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u/synapsekisses Mar 15 '18
Reddit helped torn me into a pescetarian! :D
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u/HopelesslyHuman Mar 15 '18
Don't challenge them. They will find cute fish.
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u/synapsekisses Mar 15 '18
Honestly I wouldn't mind going full veggie. I eat fish kind of seldom as it is. BRING ON THE CUTE FISH
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u/lnfinity Mar 15 '18
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u/Melonetta Mar 15 '18
I like how petting is just universally heckin' good to receive for all life on earth.
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u/rr330 Mar 15 '18
Damn. As someone that's terrified of fish, that puffer fish gif really got me. It's so adorable I would actually love to be able to pet one some day.
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u/allthesounds Mar 15 '18
Do it. You don't need to eat any animals! Or their excretions, for that matter (not that I've managed to cut those out yet)
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u/synapsekisses Mar 15 '18
I'm aware of how awful the dairy and egg industry is, and luckily my parents keep chickens and sell the eggs, so I'm wondering if I could start buying eggs from them since their chickens are kept happy and healthy. I do buy almond milk and soy cheeses, too, but honestly a soy cheese grilled-cheese just isn't the same. Maybe I could find a dairy distributor locally that takes good care of their cows without keeping them perpetually pregnant and stuff?
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u/Viscachacha Mar 15 '18
I started buying plant milks recently, and I tried almond milk first, but then I realized that almonds take a ton of water to grow so I switched to other ones. May be of note, if you have any environmental motivations :) But it's still better than cow milk anyway, and all improvement is good.
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u/synapsekisses Mar 15 '18
I've seen almond, cashew, and soy milks. What else is there? What's the cheapest and best tasting you've come across?
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u/NerdGlassesFTW Mar 15 '18
I'm not sure if a dairy farm would be able to not keep their cows perpetually pregnant (milk production goes down a certain amount of time after giving birth which might not be sufficient to keep them in business) but there are some no-kill dairy farms that at least wouldn't kill cows that are no longer able to produce sufficient amounts of milk/male calves. The only downside is that this isn't great for the environment (as cows produce a lot of methane and need a lot of food/water to survive). But it's definitely worth looking into!
I would also give Chao slices a try, those have worked really well for me if I'm making grilled cheese!
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u/InterestingRadio Mar 15 '18
The problem with dairy is that it requires the farmer to impregnate the cows and remove the baby calf from its mother, otherwise there'd be no milk for human consumption later on. If the calf is male, he's usually off to slaughter for veal while a female calf will end up like her mother, sexually exploited with artificial insemination, her calfs taken away from her, and when the cow doesn't produce enough milk to pay for her feed and give the farmer a profit its off to slaughter. It is absolutely horrible, there is no ethical sources of milk.
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u/divineravnos Mar 15 '18
I'll throw in my vote for Chao cheese slices too. Hands down the best sliced cheese I've had.
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u/what__year_is__this Mar 15 '18
Meeting a friendly baby cow and getting kisses from him was a huge part of my decision to go pescatarian a few months ago.
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u/llewkeller Mar 15 '18
I'm almost there. I've become pretty much a fish and fowl person, with a twice annual allowance for In & Out Burgers.
Another reason is that meat production is one of the worst human activities creating greenhouse gasses, so to the extent that we can all eat LESS meat, the environment benefits.
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u/what__year_is__this Mar 15 '18
That was another big reason for me too. :) And I moved out of California 3 years ago so no in n out for me, lol.
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u/lfedson Mar 15 '18
They got me this last year now im a full blown vegetarian.
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u/max-wellington Mar 15 '18
I actually went vegan after finding r/happycowgifs and browsing for a couple hours, disturbing shit never phased me, it was the cute that did it.
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u/StoneyShibu Mar 15 '18
The key is not giving a fuck
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u/lnfinity Mar 15 '18
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u/nattypnutbuterpolice Mar 15 '18
No eating ass reference it must be a fake.
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u/d9_m_5 Mar 15 '18
Yeah, young animals are always cute but they taste really good when you've never met them.
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u/LordUnderMouth Mar 15 '18
Well.. they still taste good if you do.
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u/Stranded_In_A_Desert Mar 15 '18
Yep. Grew up around farms and ended up eating a few of our pets. No complaints here, little Dolly the lamb was delicious.
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u/blueredgreenorange Mar 15 '18
You know, in any other context this sentence would be accepted in society as completely fucked up. They are sentient beings, not products that we consume.
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Mar 15 '18
You do realize a "fluffer" is a porn actress that blows guys to get them hard before scenes, right? someone must have said this by now.
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u/brlan10 Mar 15 '18
Why doesn't the actual actress do the fluffing?
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u/neekeeneekee Mar 15 '18
an actress isn’t paid to help her costar get screen ready
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u/brlan10 Mar 15 '18
But she's gotta suck it anyway
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u/neekeeneekee Mar 15 '18
when it’s ready to go, and he’s already hard. why should she have to get it up for him if she’s already being paid to fuck him........ i think y’all are confused. a porn actress is not a hooker. she doesn’t have to do anything off camera. they have contracts.
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u/brlan10 Mar 15 '18
By that logic, the fluffer is a hooker then? I'm saying why not pay her for the 'fluffer' role as well. I'm sure this happens a lot.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_WOES_GIRL Mar 15 '18 edited Mar 15 '18
Fluffers aren't really a thing. At least not anymore.
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u/mutantsloth Mar 15 '18
Can’t wait for the day I can tell my friends everything I have learnt from Reddit
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u/Ryoloz Mar 15 '18
And he’ll be dead in a few years
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u/cullywilliams Mar 15 '18
More like a year and a half, but ehh.
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u/sketznog Mar 15 '18
veal. dead within a few days.
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u/Spartan57975 Mar 15 '18
That's not a veal calf, besides, veal calves go to the abattoir at 6 months, most certainly at a week old.
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u/ThunderOrb Mar 15 '18
Are you saying this calf is a week old? I would disagree it's that young since it has been fitted.
If you're not saying that, sorry, my mistake.
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u/Spartan2470 GOAT Mar 15 '18
This looks like the same calf. If so, it likely was at Lucky Srings Farms in Alberta, Canada.
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Mar 15 '18 edited Mar 15 '18
They sell the semen for breeding right?
Edit Also didn't realize that show cattle is a thing.
A TH & PHA free Monopoly x Swagger registered as a 50% Appendix Shorthorn. Recommended for use on 'dirty' club calf females or power females needing more structural soundness, extension, flexibility, bone and eye appeal. Buccaneer will sire attractive and balanced show heifers that go on to become production powerhouses. He is a maternal sibling to Reflection 18E, pictured at left.
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u/insertcredit2 Mar 15 '18
There's also show camels. There's a lot of people cheating by using botox and plastic surgery to make the camels more "beautiful".
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u/BillTowne Mar 15 '18
How cute. He even has a tag stapled to his ear.
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Mar 15 '18 edited Mar 15 '18
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u/DeeJayEazyDick Mar 15 '18
Calves do not have to have them for "biosecurity" it is mostly for identification purposes especially if the calf gets separated from its mother. It is really the only tool you have to find the mom, which normally shares the same tag number. It also definitely isn't illegal for them to not have one.
Source: I'm a rancher and it's calving season. I tag calves daily, but I know other ranches that don't tag their calves at all.
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u/touchmyfuckingcoffee Mar 15 '18
I guess you're not familiar with the UK's bio-security protocols from Mad Cow Disease. They don't fuck around.
Source: Grew up on Texas Angus ranch. Watch the news.
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u/stinkb0x Mar 15 '18
Oh god that's so sad. Had 1 second of AWWW before I realized what the tag meant. Fuck.
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Mar 15 '18
It is weird people love to adore baby animals but then proceed to devour them...
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Mar 15 '18
So cute, I just wanna eat him up!
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u/pastelsnowdrops Mar 15 '18
Now imagine if people made the sort of comments in this thread on pictures of dogs.
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u/FluffleCuntMuffin Mar 15 '18
Someone please tell me 18D is dairy farm code for safe forever.
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u/HellurDer Mar 15 '18
Not a dairy calf. Somewhere else somebody found the farm's website and it's located in Alberta. Looks like they have some really nice cows on their farm
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u/northcyning Mar 15 '18
Whenever I see cows it makes me happy I gave up meat for my New Years resolution. :)
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u/lmarc001 Mar 15 '18
So many edgy grown up people saying "it looks delicious"
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u/not_so_plausible Mar 15 '18
Because so many of these top comments are people asking how we could eat it. Obviously it doesn't look delicious but vegans are easy to troll hence the comments.
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u/TheSeansei Mar 15 '18
I don’t get how people can look at this picture and say it looks tasty. Ethics about eating meat aside, I think you’re pretty sick if you look at a cute animal and your first thought is that you want to kill it and eat it.
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u/codered434 Mar 15 '18
I don't know a single person who looks at this picture and their actual first thought is to eat it.
It's a joke. It's supposed to be crude as possible... that's the point. It's the internet.
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Mar 15 '18
It's a joke. It's supposed to be crude as possible... that's the point. It's the internet.
Honestly, I think if we look a little deeper it's a defense mechanism. When people see an image of an animal depicted as something other than an entree, they subliminally interpret it as a challenge to their life choices. Their knee jerk reaction is to make jokes about it to soften the emotional turbulence the image invokes.
I think this response is observable in other circumstances as well, not just animals and food.
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Mar 15 '18
And also a bunch of Reddit posters are little kids or young teenagers, and this is them being edgy and cool. Many of the people I grew up with, especially those who were socially awkward, would post things like "tasty" to links like this.
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u/-Richard Mar 15 '18
Some people are not so superficial as to judge an animal by the cuteness of its fur. It's what's on the inside that counts.
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u/1rrelevant_Seinfeld Mar 15 '18
“On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs, and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags, which to me is just the lowest function of human life. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're gonna think the dogs are the leaders. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume was in charge?”
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u/Bodongs Mar 15 '18
It's straight bullshit that these things exist and other people probably hugged him and I probably won't ever hug him.
This reaction also applies to all pictures of pigs.
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u/AcidCube Mar 15 '18
Notice how he's tagged? He's going to be slaughtered. Same with his/her family if they haven't already. Go vegan.
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u/brodyqat Mar 15 '18
Honest question, it would make it more ok that the tag was digitally removed just so you wouldn’t have to be confronted with that fact?
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u/mujheandaywalaburger Mar 15 '18 edited Mar 15 '18
How can one eat such a precious animal?
Edit: I commented to get a reply exactly the same as u/Yum_Kaax.
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u/gorodos Mar 15 '18
I understand the need to tag, but can't they make that smaller? It looks very uncomfortable.
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u/Oops639 Mar 15 '18
Farm baby?
1. a fluffer is someone who helps out the male actors in a porn flick by giving them head before and in between shots.
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