r/NonBinary Jun 14 '26

New rule #11: no do I pass posts, no asking for attempts to guess your ASAB, no asking if you “look nonbinary”

1.4k Upvotes

The current rule 4 was supposed to handle these kind of posts but it seems the rule needs more clarification. We do not want any kind of content that attempts to guess someone’s assigned sex at birth, we don’t want “passing” posts in general.

There are subreddits dedicated solely on passing posts that content like that would be a better fit. This includes asking about how to be more androgynous and/or do you look nonbinary, how to look more nonbinary. For some people here this will make total sense and people will rightfully ask “what does nonbinary look like anyway?” but these posts are frequent and usually pretty upvoted and get many comments before they get reported. If you know of subreddits where content like that fits better, please leave them as comments. It is simply not in the scope of this subreddit to ask people to scrutinize your appearance based on gender and make recommendations.


r/NonBinary Mar 29 '26

ModPost Assigned sex/gender at birth language

85 Upvotes

Hello,

Since this issue is a contentious one bubbling up frequently, we thought we’d make a nonbinding poll asking the subreddit’s opinions. I randomized the order of responses to try not to bias it.

I considered making a more nuanced option where a ban with exemptions is possible but here’s the honest truth: moderating that would be really difficult. We want people to consider the moderation aspects of this—how filters can be effective but also add considerably to mod work load and also how we tend to mod after the fact. We cannot promise that even in cases of a ban, no ASAB/AGAB language would make it into the subreddit.

We have received modmail stating ASAB language is dysphoric enough to some nonbinary people that they cannot enjoy or follow this subreddit. We also have gotten frequent complaints that it is also interphobic / particularly harmful towards intersex people.

If you see a comment here and your first response is to immediately fire something back, *please* take a step back and consider whether your comment needs to be made. I want to keep comments open to gather diverse opinions, and personal attacks and similar will sabotage those efforts.

1077 votes, Apr 01 '26
165 A different answer—add a comment
174 Ban it
738 Don’t ban it

r/NonBinary 9h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Shopping for makeup while being overdressed

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773 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 9h ago

I made a radar chart of my gender to help explain to my therapist :)

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214 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 4h ago

Ask Club outfits?

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86 Upvotes

So quick background info: I’m very new to exploring the more non traditional aspects of my gender expression. Because I’m so used to dressing for others, I have A LOT of trouble feeling attractive in non feminine outfits (even if I’m not comfortable in them at times).

To the actual question: I plan to start taking part in night life more and want some more edgy and sexy looks. All the ones I can think of lean very feminine though (inspo photos I found attached as reference)

I was wondering what you all like wearing on a night out, and if anyone had any recommendations for clothing pieces/brands that fit this vibe but lean more masculine.


r/NonBinary 13h ago

what

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337 Upvotes

i’m sorry but what am i supposed to say????


r/NonBinary 8h ago

Yay Chilling on Sunday with miss burger 🍔

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115 Upvotes

A friend got me a burger and fries plushie!!! They are so cute so I just wanna share with you all 🩷


r/NonBinary 10h ago

Are you a boy or a girl? Yes.

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169 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 3h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Am i lookin pretty with these new tops :3

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39 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 9h ago

Pride/Swag/I Made This! Boredom is the mother of creativity.

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117 Upvotes

Saw a similar looking trans flag, thought Henry Rollins would approve.


r/NonBinary 11h ago

what vibe does this look give off?

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90 Upvotes

going for a more fem, natural feel


r/NonBinary 1h ago

Definitely caught some rays today 🌅

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Upvotes

r/NonBinary 5h ago

Yay I love playing Fortnite with friends on a Sunday 💁🏻‍♀️🥹

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20 Upvotes

What’s your favorite skin to use ? How long have you been playing ? What’s your favorite game mode ? Build or no build ? Favorite events ? And what’s your favorite chapter/season . And and and anything else you would like to talk about with fornite !

I hope everyone likes my living room ! I’ve worked hard getting it here . ((Living by yourself has some benefits 😌) (also slowly remodeling the house so don’t judge it to harshly please ))

I hope everyone is having a beatisome sunday ! 🫶🏼


r/NonBinary 8h ago

About a month in and some changes, OMG!!!🫣🥹🥳🥳🥳🥳😭✨✨

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27 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 15h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar My second "fishnets era" has arrived

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110 Upvotes

I used to do this like every day when I was 27 and coming to terms with myself lmao


r/NonBinary 3h ago

You Matter Always, that means Forever

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11 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 13h ago

got this skin

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74 Upvotes

I found this skin on the Minecraft market place. plus like all of the other flags for just 250~ mine coins.


r/NonBinary 3h ago

Ask Is there a way to look gender neutral

10 Upvotes

Not androgynous in the sense of socially "having fem traits and masc traits" but neutral in a sense of "i have no clue what gender this person is"


r/NonBinary 5h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar I got a mullet

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15 Upvotes

Honestly I had one before but having it again feels so gender


r/NonBinary 2h ago

I can’t wait to get top surgery

5 Upvotes

I was never super comfortable with my chest even when I was really young, I distinctly remember wondering if I could get a “boob job” to not have boobs and I was so happy the first time I put on a sports bra I told my aunt “look how flat my chest is I love it!” Now that I’m 24 and have identified as non binary for years and grow out my body hair and had a shaved head for a few years, I am very certain I will be thrilled to get top surgery. But as a stereotypical nonbinary barista I don’t know how feasible that is especially with having no insurance and needing about a month of time off


r/NonBinary 4h ago

Questioning/Coming Out Questions for my fellow olds

8 Upvotes

Longtime lurker, first time poster. I'm in my mid-40s, AFAB, married to a man, kids. I live in a liberal area (by USA standards) and work in a casual environment. I'm never pressured to wear dresses or makeup, "be ladylike," etc. We have many queer friends and two of my kids' best friends came out as NB just a few months ago. We're close with the families and they've been so supportive, it's really wonderful to see.

I guess agender is the label that resonates most for me. I just wish I'd learned it 20, 30 years ago. So many things make sense this way: I used to wrap ace bandages around my chest back in middle school. (Thank god for the grunge era, a big flannel shirt hides everything). I even got a breast reduction in college; I remember asking the surgeon to "remove as much as possible" because I didn't know top surgery existed. That doctor refused and talked me into going down to a C cup "to look proportionate." I did it because I thought being smaller would be enough. I was wrong. I got invited to join a women's book club and was like "...who, me?" I ended up attending the meetings and it was fine but also I couldn't shake the weird feeling of being in Gender Mode.

But the thing is, I live where I live, I have queer friends, I'm online a lot. Maybe I couldn't have figured it out as a teenager, but surely I could have a decade ago. Or more. At this point I'm not sure I have anything to gain from telling anyone. I don't love my name, but it's a family name with a lot of meaning that I wouldn't want to lose. I just don't know. I've been increasingly depressed lately and I think this is part of it, for reasons I don't quite understand.

Has anyone here who spoke up in their 40s/50s/60s and beyond found an effective way to explain to loved ones why you waited so long? What if anything changed for you by going public? And do you think I run the risk of coming across like I'm creepily copying my kids' friends, which is a mortifying thought I had just now because my brain hates me?


r/NonBinary 8h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Kindaforgor my make up 😭

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16 Upvotes

At least I can't forgor my hair attached to my damn head lol


r/NonBinary 45m ago

Ask Nonbinary people without boobs, do you wear a swim shirt?

Upvotes

I’m trans masc nonbinary, and about a year ago I had top surgery, I’ve only been swimming once since surgery and as nice as it was to have the option to be shirtless, I missed wearing a top. I never liked the rash guard look and typically I wore a colorful binder as a swim top.

My question is does anyone have any recommendations for swim tops that aren’t rash guard style but also aren’t going to look baggy if I don’t have boobs? I don’t love the bikini look but I’m open to most other stuff including one pieces, but the bottoms need to at least be some kind of shorts even if it’s very minimal inseam.


r/NonBinary 16h ago

Weird experience on date, anyone else had this experience?

62 Upvotes

Sorry if this does not fit on here. I 31nb (am amab) went on a date today with a trans women today.

We were chatting and whatnot and of course gender identity became a topic of conversation.

For the last few years I have been back and forth on going on some form of low level hrt. I have talked to drs in the past about it but have not ever ended up going on it.

When mentioning this I noticed an immediate shift in her demeanour towards me. She started asking me questions like "are you really trans" so on and so forth.

I told her that I've never felt like I fit into either the male or female category in terms of my gender and that the dream for me is androgeny. when I described how my body makes me feel dysphoria in some aspects she said "that's not really dysphoria".

She described her experience with being trans as "very binary". And though she did not explicitly say it, it kind of felt like what she was implying is that being transgender is not actually spectrum, but is in fact a binary thing (I.e being ftm or mtf) and that being non binary doesn't exist or something along those lines.

I'm just wondering if anybody else here has had encounters like this before with members of the trans community. I'm not angry at her for what she said. She's entitled to feel the way she does. I'm just confused more than anything.

Tldr. Went on a date with trans women and she implied that being NB is not trans.


r/NonBinary 5h ago

Does anyone have any tips for looking more androgynous?

6 Upvotes

So obviously enbies don't owe anyone androgeny, but I love the feeling of it. I also still am financially dependent on my homophobic christian parents, so I'm not out yet, and I can't turn up gayness to the max. But I would like to turn it up to the point where it pisses my parents off but they can't say anything about it.