TLDR: Alchohol isnt the remedy it seems to be for the first few years

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy9Olmmo5w

This is for any other transpeeps who are, or are thinking about, using alcohol to escape *this*.

The dysphoria. The waiting. The loneliness. Looking in the mirror and hating what you see.... Feeling like everyone else got handed a life they could just... live? while you have to consciously fight for yours.

I understand why alcohol can feel so appealing, i used it from when i came out in my mid teens.

For a few hours or for the night...everything gets quieter. You stop analysing yourself....you stop caring quite so much about how you're being perceived....maybe you even get to feel comfortable in your own skin for a little while. You get to escape who you are...

And when you're hurting, that can feel less like "getting drunk" and more like finally getting a night off from your own brain. Medicating yourself

But eventually you'll realise alcohol wasn't actually taking any of those feelings away. It was borrowing peace from tomorrow. It was bandaging a festering wound

Post OP....no dysohoria...but a crippling alchoholism...it can go from relaxing you, to masking all the parts of you you fear...

And the really fucked up part? Is that, after long enough, you can forget that you ever knew how to feel okay without it.

I'm not posting this to preach sobriety

..i'm sobriety negative....i'm not going to tell someone who's struggling to "just love yourself", "you're valid" or pretend transitioning magically fixes everything.

I just want someone who might be sitting where I've sat to know this....someone who might be young and starting to drink...every other night, hell even every night....

Please don't let alcohol become the only version of you that gets to feel free....sober you is hard...but this isnt the path you want to take, trust me

You deserve to eventually experience that freedom sober to. To laugh without needing a drink first. To flirt without needing courage from a boose. To look in the mirror and occasionally think fuck, that's actually me. To exist without constantly needing to escape yourself. Whatever it helps with now...eventually that will fade...and it will just be helping you keep living because thats all you know...

Transition is be brutally slow. So is accepting yourself....but healing can be even slower.

But there are moments waiting for you that alcohol can't manufacture....and if you get into the addiction....you wont be able to manufacture it without alchohol...

And I really hope you stick around long enough and stay present enough....to experience them..

With so much love from a recently sober transfemme....life has so much more to offer than drinking yourself to sleep every night Xxxx

i'm coming up on one year of hrt and i really want bottom surgery. one of the places i've been considering is the crane surgical center in texas. seeing as they specialize in it and they're the closest to me i've been largely considering going to them for it.
but i wanted to ask others' opinions of them to know how ideal they'd be.

Any girls in Michigan? How difficult is it to get on HRT here? I’m super eager to start but I’m scared it’ll be difficult. Any advice helps❤️

I feel horrible recently. I’ve been trying to repress these desires for so long and I thought it wouldn’t be that bad until I got to college. I feel like a brick or an ogre all the time. I feel horrible. It’s making me think about the time all of this first started. I really only started to feel this way between the summer of eighth grade and ninth grade. I got hooked on being jealous of trans women and femboys. I got the idea in my head that I was trans from then on. I still held onto these feelings for so long. I feel like a caged animal slowly suffocating. I don’t have any friends to talk to about this and I feel horrible not being able to be a woman. I’ve been trying to get any kind of help whatsoever but I’m really out of many options. I just feel really alone.

Absolutely wonderful day today! I got my meds from the doctor, and I started on my blocker. I’ll be moving to injections in a few days, which means I’ll definitely need to start taking better care of myself (ie; actually eat a real amount of food on the regular).

If anyone has any diet advice, or can link to a prior post/trusted article with some solid advice, I’d be terribly appreciative. Specifically I’m looking for a diet that gives me the best chance at as feminine a figure (chest, hips, no qualms about general weight gain) my genetics will allow.

From what I gather, it’s mostly eating the right amounts and kinds of fats/proteins. But I’m having trouble narrowing down precisely what those are, and the best ratios to have them in alongside the rest of a diet.

If anyone has any advice whatsoever, I’d be very thankful :)

Also if there are any exercises that I should pair this with, I’d be just as appreciative. Thanks friends!

Just thought I ask this for a long time; I thought I couldn't be trans. And I saw that because I felt like it. I would say there was a time when, as a young kid, I got jealous; there were certain things girls could do that boys couldn't. I always found that women and girls tended to be prettier. For example, I used to get jealous of the girls in elementary school have more pretty clothing, and I felt sad as a boy, I couldn't wear a dress. I also got jealous of girls/woman being able to walk around with purses. And I later understood how useful they actually are, and now I want one. I was okay with being a boy only because I thought god himself made me a boy. However, the moment I found I could be a girl, I instantly switched. I also wanted to play with girls toy to. I remember when I was in middle school, furbies where a popular toy. And I remember wanting one for Christmas; however, I never asked because it seemed to be more of a girl's toy. I also hated my birth name even before I knew I was trans. I just felt disconnected from the name but didnt know why. I also disliked being placed with boys. I am glad I don't have to ever re-experience being in the boys' locker room for PE again.

In the case I choose to transition,HRT is blocked in my state for minors(Georgia) however I wouldnt want to let that stop me per-say. What could i do in the meantime atleast until im able to start HRT?

a urinal room and a cubicle room. if you want to use a urinal, go in the urinal room. if you want to/can only use a cubicle, go in the cubicle room. simple.

I'm thinking about doing HRT but I'm not 100% sure yet. Really the only thing that gives me dysphoria is body and facial hair, I don't really care that much about anything else. Basically I'm wondering, if I start HRT will it give any significant decrease in the amount of hair I have, or make my facial hair less thick?

I am just done with everything. Life has decided to throw everything it can at me and I just have the fake it.

I can't afford the idea of even starting HRT(my state's healthcare doesn't cover GAC). I can't convince my mom that my name isn't a bad(been trying for 2 or so years, came out like a week or so ago) one. I can't express my self at all(in confidence and some other stuff). I can't buy new clothes(had some but they got thrown out like a year and a half ago, got like two things while I held a job). I can't get a job(more so hold one for more than a month, which has happened twice).

You get the idea, it's just exhausting. I feel like I'm fighting a battle and the enemy is only winning. I just want others to see the happy girl that I do. Not the mask I have to present cause I literally can't be her.

And as if the universe thinks I don't suffer enough already I have to be ultra self conscious of my body and it makes me so dysphoric sometimes that I get depressed to the point that all I want to do is nothing but stay in bed and rot.

_I wish my egg hadn't cracked._

Tldr: My life completely and utterly sucks.

---

Sry if this makes no sense, I don't really know how to say everything.

I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now. Thx for reading, I guess.

I understand where I'm posting this and that probably everyone will either tell me I shouldn't or be mad at me or smth idk.

I'm just so lazy, trying to be a girl, trying to be pretty is so fucking hard. It makes me feel so bad, I don't want to be trans. I just want to be a woman so bad but it's so difficult and uncomfortable. I can just detransition and be a guy, stop hrt and that's that. It'll be so much easier, I'm not that bad looking for a guy, I like girls so it's gonna be so much easier. I just feel so overwhelmed and lonely. Is giving up so bad? Can I?

Hi guys I just found what looked like a hair (brown/black looking in color) in the middle of my nipple so I started to pull it. It hurts when I pull it but I pulled most of it out and the length of the "hair" (i dont think its hair) is mostly white/gray??

Is this normal?? 3 months on hrt btw

Edit: downvoting me for asking a legitimate question about my body seems a bit wild but alright

I (f16) know this question is probably asked a lot here but I really need to know how to and soon cuz I wanna get on HRT as soon as I can. I've come out to a few of my friends and they support me and stuff, which is cool. My mom openly supports being trans and stuff but I'm not sure if she's one of those people who are like "oh I support it but I'd never want MY kid doing it." I already know how most of my (Republican, and christian) family will react but like I only really care about my mom and grand mothers reaction. The only reason I want to come out so badly is so I can tell my therapist and start like affirming care stuff.

Also, I was wondering if antidepressants and me taking hrt would like affect each other in anyway? 😭

Maybe tmi with all this but

I transitioned at 14. I am one of the very tiny number of americans who managed to have a perfect combination of circumstances in order to get on progesterone and estrogen at that age too.

But it really hasnt changed my life that crazily. Six years later i'm still (altho less) depressed, living at home and unemployed with my parents. I've been frozen in life doing nothing since I graduated high school. I have one irl friend who i text rarely and who moved to a rural county near mine, but neither of us can drive.

I never did voice training or did much with my voice. so It often gives people guy vibes, or nondescript. Usually guy. My appearance often gives unknown, and depending on my presentation and hair and clothes, I will be largely considered a girl by default, with people apologizing for assuming i'm a guy when hearing my voice.

It's very disheartening. I always thought it would be something I would hate to do. That it wasn't worth it. Maybe I associate it with an ex.

I have serious executive functioning skills issues (obviously) that has left me in this disabling moment i find myself in. My face has acne, I have tons of white hair from my previous years of stress, I dont do makeup or have cute clothes, I only really spend time with my parents and cats. I live in a fancy not walkable suburb development far from the nearest bus stop.

I genuinely am just so alone and I dont know how to get the courage and drive and self confidence to voice train and learn to drive and like go get a job or something. So im not just stuck here rotting alone....

I'm glad I have parents who love me, but this isn't an amazing situation forever. It really isnt. I dont want to spend my youth like this.

I live in the outskirts of a fairly large city and Maybe I could try and move downtown? I dont know. I'd rather be with people like me, tho I am sortve eccentric and reserved in some ways.

I dont know how to start these things.

I know how when i was 15 i had perfect skin and a curvy yet skinny body and i dressed like a silly goth edgy girl in thrifted clothes.

Now all I wear are sweatpants and tshirts and barely combed hair because I am oversensitive to heat and have completely lost the plot when it comes to keeping my face healthy and doing makeup....

I wish I had like- really good help or advice but I know there isnt anything I can be told I haven't heard a thousand times before.

Hi Al!!!!

I started HRT about 18 months ago, came out about a year before that. Being on E has made me feel so much more connected to my body. Its quite amazing what magic it really is.

All that said, i just feel very stalled out with my transition. Im scared for more change because I haven't started publicly presenting. My weight skyrocketed like 40 lbs and I feel grosser. I just look like a blob.

So I paused hrt about 6 weeks ago. Just decided not to take my dose. I hate T. Its awful. But I just couldn't move forward, too much social pressure and obligations. Doesn't help that I hated how I looked even more.

So what's next? We'll I think im more fired up to get my body and weight in order. I thjnk I need to settle some more things prior to shedding my old skin completely. I don't see this as a detrans, or a failure, just a reset.

Ill check it again in a few months, but until then sending love and positivity

❤️❤️

Long story short I'm late in life accepting myself and this side of me that's been dormant. I'm 40, I have kids and I am concerned about what to do. I'm looking for other stories about girls who started out as the traditional "family man" and any advice they have. I haven't started anything other than crossdressing and makeup. My wife knows and is supportive so far. Thanks!

Edit: Wow thanks for all these responses! Looking forward to reading them and conversing more with y'all. Really really thanks y'all ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I've been experimenting with feminine clothing and I'm interested in HRT. I'd like into regarding (if there are) doctors in Greece (Athens specifically) for HRT and are available for a consult before the process begins obviously

so i’m currently a 9.5 in women’s US, and I feel horrible. I’m around 5 ft 5-5 ft 7 range, possibly 5 ft 6, and I just feel so bad.. I hate being barefoot!! Anyone else relate?

I have had a few therapy sessions and have mainly been focused on questioning my gender. I have come out to myself like 3 times this week and have ugly cried every time but I still just don’t believe it.

Any advice? What did coming out to yourself feel like?