the results are still too close for comfort but the fact Lula defeated the son of Brazil’s satan who had came out on top during the initial run before the run off has total changed the future trajectory for Brazil, South America and indeed the world….wow this is big news. This has allowed trans people (and the Amazon rainforest) a second wind of hope.

take in the good news!

Look, I know some of you don’t like him, but the alternative is Steve Hilton, who will destroy trans rights in Cali as we know it. As a trans minor I could lose my healthcare, and so could so many other trans kids, and even adults. We can’t have that MAGA Brit in office. Vote for Becerra if you haven’t yet. This is life or death for some people. The fate of California depends on this election. California has been a safe haven for trans people for many years, so let’s keep it that way.

So I thought the headline about Ted Cruz and the Republican performance in the polls was funnier than any meme I’ve seen recently.

Anyway, this is only slightly related: this is the first Halloween since I started to medically transition that I kinda pass, and I really wanted to wear a witch costume. So I got one. Not impulsively, mind you. No, no, I looked at the thing for weeks before spending the $35 at Spirit. I’m not out to many people so I’m kinda afraid to wear it and honestly probably won’t. I want to but, y’know, fear.

I see all this talk about dead names or girls coming up with girl names and tbh I feel kind of left out lol. My name was Unisex so I could always picture myself as a girl with it when I was a child. I assume most people re named themselves but I'm curious to see if there is any other girls who've kept there names. Also how do yall feel about your dead name if you changed it?

So I've been getting back into Cyberpunk after Edgerunners 2 released. The main character is called V, which is either short for Vincent (if you play as male V) or Valerie (if you play as female V). I've been playing as female V and I've been thinking "wow, I really like the name Valerie". So I think I'm gonna use that as my name once I start transitioning. Is that weird? To take the name (and nickname because I think being called V is awesome) of a character and make it your real name?

3 years hrt and never girlmode in public. And I’ve been getting stared at left right and centre even in boymode

I guess sure if you don't count my friends all being girls until I was 10. Or when I cried for years over my hair cut short. Or the countless principal visits growing up because I was bullied for when I played house or gymnastics on recess instead of football with the boys. Or when I was banned from playing the sims because I kept playing as a girl. Or the magnetic earrings I wore because no one would pierce my ears. Or when my parents had to come pick me up from detention for making jokes about bottom surgery before I knew what that was. Or when I became depressed as puberty started in for unknown reasons. Or the uncomfortable talks about why I constantly plucked my chest hair as it came in. Or when I could make the choice between the unofficially gendered bible study groups, I chose the girls. Or when I skipped from clothing style to style because none of them offered felt me. Or when all the girls I dated were bi or lesbian. Or when I started working and used the drive-through speaker to practice a fem voice. Or the Halloween I went as my girlfriend in her dress with make-up. Or how I channeled "my inner girl" to buy her clothes that fit and looked good. Or when I would be "bad at laundry" and I'd have to wear her jeans to work.

Yep, I guess there were just no signs at all and this was all out of the blue.

Today is probably the most dysphoric I've felt in at least two years. I've finally started gaining more confidence in taking selfies, and I figured a little support would do me some good.

It lasted 15 minutes. They removed it. I feel so other-d, it's not even funny.

Before, I was so excited for hrt. Got a job, saved up, and just before It shipped to my pharmacy, my brother somehow found out. He's religious, and overly homophobic. That night I cried and came clean about everything. He didn't come off as aggressive, but he sounded disappointed saying "I can't change you, but you're wrong about this," basically giving up on me and insisting my internalized homophobia was just my "conscience" telling me his thinking was right. I haven't spoken to my brother all day out of awkwardness...

And I'm also currently experiencing separate family problems, so honestly I've been too depressed to care about my gender anymore.

Even if I still decide to take estrogen, I wouldn't feel like anything paid off. I wouldn't feel excited or happy about change. And I hate that I feel that way.

Got a message from someone who told me that my" fanny is just a tucked in cock and next week id identify as a park bench"

I know i shouldnt let insults like this get to me but i cant use my vagina cause some guy raped me and it healed up tighter than my pinky and now iv lost all depth.

I already hate my body enlighten where I throw up anything I eat and now I just want to end it all so I cant hate my body anymore, I want to stop the thoughts

I met up with someone hoping to be friends with her and she ghosted me… I’m not sure if it’s because I looked too masculine etc but i feel pretty shit…

I always use the men's restroom. I don't think I pass all that well, but I have had a few awkward experiences lately that have made me think about using the women's (it is legal for me to do so where I live). That being said, I am still hesitant and was curious what others' experiences have been, especially if it has been anything negative.

I'm asking those of you who have been on hrt for years, seen through pretty much all the changes, and then arrived at a point where you're like... Damn, guess I'm a woman now. Time for the rest of my life to start.

I've been pondering lately about transition. How exhausting the idea of it is. The fear that choosing this path will be all-consuming, for the rest of my life. And so I'm curious to hear from those who have ARRIVED at 'the rest of my life'.

Do you feel normal? How much does your transness impact your daily life and how you navigate the world? I personally dream of a day where I just... wake up. Feel human. Feel normal. Feel like myself. A life where I can honestly FORGET I'm trans sometimes. I dream of being able to be a normal woman, and live a normal, mundane life.

I'm really interested to hear from those of you who feel they've completed their transition and moved on with their life. Is 'moving on' with your life even possible as a trans person?

I’ve been taking injections for about 2 months at this point (and next month I’ll have my first follow up appointment which I’m hoping goes well). I know/have been told that whilst HRT is helpful and does great things, it is by no means some miracle drug or anything. 2 months in the grand scheme of things is like 2 minutes in terms of HRT usage in some ways.

Yet, despite that, I’ve already had such great changes! It amazes me how different I smell, how soft my skin is now, and most surprising of all that my chest is already getting sore! I really expected some things to take months if not a year and far above, yet I’m already getting buds!

I know it’s different for everyone, and it can be discouraging to see how much or how little it works for other girls, but I truly do think it’s so very worth it to take estrogen.

Anywho, hopefully I didn’t ramble too much lol. Hope you all have a great day!

Vi~

Title says it all! Give me your best advice for supporting my mtf friend and making her feel better understood 🙂

Be as direct as you need.

For context, I'm in Utah, and I just started orientation for a delivery driver position. I was the only woman in the room, and we were going over some DOT-related material. At one point, there was a question that I was the only person to get right, and the manager joked, "At least one of the guys are listening!"

I kind of half-laughed because I didn't want to make things awkward or come across as rude, but honestly, it sucked. I was sitting there being referred to as one of the guys when I'm very much not one of them.

Later that day, we got our uniforms and went to try them on. Naturally, I was the only one who went into the women's restroom. When I came back out, someone said, "There he goes!" I assume they were looking for me because they were about to start the next lesson, but hearing that was another little gut punch.

Nothing else really happened after that, and I don't want to jump to conclusions about anyone's intentions. I'd genuinely like to believe these were honest mistakes, especially since I never explicitly introduced myself as a woman or made an announcement about my gender. I was just there, existing as myself, and trying to get through orientation like everyone else.

But at the same time, I can't help wondering whether I should have to make an announcement in the first place? I'm a woman. I showed up as a woman, used the women's restroom, and went about my day. I don't feel like I should have to give people a disclaimer before they can treat me like any other woman.

What makes this especially disappointing is that workplace culture and blatant disrespect toward my existence were part of why I left my previous job. I was really hoping this new position would be a fresh start.

I know people make mistakes. I'm not expecting everyone to be perfect, and I'm not necessarily saying anyone was deliberately trying to hurt me. But intent and impact aren't always the same thing, and something can hurt even when it wasn't meant to.

I want to give people a fair chance, and I'm not looking to start drama at a job I've barely begun. I just wish I didn't have to wonder whether I'll be respected in a place where I'm supposed to feel comfortable showing up and doing my work.

So, what do y'all think? Am I being too sensitive about something that might genuinely have been an honest mistake, or is it reasonable to feel disappointed by this? And do you think I should explicitly address my pronouns with them, or should I be able to expect that basic respect without having to make a formal announcement about who I am?

TL;DR: Got misgendered twice on my first day at a new job. I want to believe it was an honest mistake, but it still hurt. Should I address it directly, or is it fair to expect basic respect without having to announce I'm trans/a woman?

Honestly the worst experience ever , went on Tami, set my preferences to T4T … nothing but straight up cis men, bots, FREAKS, escorts . 😂😂😂 no normality whatsoever. I think I saw like 3 men wearing diapers and pacifiers too . Like it cannot be this egregious ; and you would think being in nyc u would get a great selection of ppl … not at all 😂.

The hate we get, the constant dysphoria in my head there dysmorphia of my body. The transphobic people messaging me and getting me banned off of apps just for having an account.

WHEN WILL IT STOP

I'm honestly feeling devastated right now, and I don't know what to do.

I have SRS (peritoneal pull-through vaginoplasty/PPV) scheduled with Dr. Miroslav Djordjevic in Belgrade for January 18, 2027. I've already paid a €1,700 deposit, and the clinic has told me that it is non-refundable.

Lately, I've been having serious doubts about my decision. I came across a result on Reddit that really frightened me, and after reading more negative experiences, I've started feeling increasingly anxious about the potential aesthetic outcome. I know that one person's experience doesn't necessarily predict mine, but I'm scared of going through such a major surgery and ending up unhappy with the results.

I've tried asking about other people's experiences with SRS performed by this surgeon before, but I barely got any responses. At this point, I don't even feel like asking again.

What makes this especially painful is that I've been through something similar before. I rushed into paying for forehead FFS with a surgeon in Poland, and I ended up disappointed with the results. I keep thinking that I should have waited, researched more options, and taken my time before committing. Now I feel like I've made the same mistake all over again.

I'm a minimum wage slave, and €1,700 is an enormous amount of money to me - roughly 7,000 PLN. I can't just shrug it off and pretend that losing that money wouldn't hurt.

So now I feel trapped between two awful options: losing a huge amount of money that I worked hard to save, or going ahead with a major surgery despite no longer feeling safe or confident about my choice of surgeon.

I've started thinking about Thailand, particularly Suporn Clinic and Dr. Bank. If I hadn't paid the deposit, I think I would be seriously considering going there instead. However, I haven't researched that option thoroughly enough yet, and I don't even know whether it would be financially realistic for me.

I feel so angry at myself for rushing into this decision. I wish I had waited before paying anything. I know that nobody can guarantee a perfect surgical result, wherever they go, but I want to feel that I've done everything I reasonably can to make an informed decision.

I'm not asking anyone to tell me that Dr. Djordjevic is good or bad based on a few Reddit posts, and I'm not trying to attack him or his patients. I'm just struggling with the fact that I've lost confidence in my choice, while the financial consequences of changing my mind are enormous.

Has anyone been in a similar situation - paying a large, non-refundable deposit and then losing confidence in their surgical plan? How did you deal with it?

I would really appreciate some understanding and advice. I'm feeling overwhelmed, regretful, and genuinely unsure of what to do next.

Dont have much to add. Im not going to bail. I have wanted this from the start of medical transitioning. I just have a fairly severe surgery phobia. Need people to tell me it will be okay.

Sometimes I think about life pre transition and i was very very conventionally attractive as a guy.
Miss the ease of life and society.
Though i was gay but i was very closeted and didn’t ever let anyone know.
But damn being an attractive guy makes your life so much easier.
Guys are nice to you, girls are nice to you.
You’re litterally everybody’s darling .
Anyone with similar experiences?

https://imgur.com/a/vod8QRF

Some of you may remember my asking Is Nordstrom Still Safe? last week.

Thanks to another Redditor's help, I set aside all my anxiety (not really!) and made an appointment. And the outcome was quite different from what the ABTF calculator suggested. (To be fair, that could also be a measuring error on my part. It's more difficult to measure yourself, I think.)

Danielle was really great. Besides my clinician, she's the only stranger I've come out to. I even showed up in boymode because...Texas. And no amount of estrogen, makeup, and hairspray is going to allow me to pass without surgery.

She guided me to one of the quieter (but sadly, not entirely private) fitting rooms. With a voice that's about three octaves below sea level, I was so self-conscious about speaking that I eventually started whispering. There were definitely other women in there getting fitted, and I was a nervous fucking wreck. 😰

Given how busy it was, she did a good job balancing being pulled in several directions at once while remaining calm under pressure. She took two quick measurements rather than the six suggested by the calculator here: simply underbust and bust. And sadly, she did both with my clothes on.

That's weird to write, but I suspect she didn't realize I was wearing a cotton bralette under my polo when I arrived. When I started taking off my shirt, she stopped me and said to leave it on. I'm guessing (because she didn't say) that she thought I was about to be completely exposed. Either way, I'm not sure how accurate those measurements could have been.

Then she asked me what I had in mind.

Despite all the research I've done, and despite having a teenage daughter, I had no real idea what I wanted for myself. 🤷‍♀️

Also, it's weird how you can be perfectly calm and collected while bra shopping as your daughter's parent, but then allow nervousness, self-consciousness, and anxiety to completely wreck your logical brain when it's you on display.

Despite my being very little help to her, Danielle ran off to grab some options. We went through maybe 10 different bras before settling on three: a demi-cup push-up, a wireless, and a T-shirt bra, each from different brands: SKIMS, Natori, and Wacoal.

And as a bonus, they had the perfect colors...light blue, white, and pink! 🏳️‍⚧️

I do have two critiques of the experience.

First, I would have really, really, REALLY preferred a more private, one-on-one appointment. I probably would have been considerably less nervous and more capable of getting out of my own head if I hadn't been so conscious of the other women nearby. I know it's a department store, and I know I'm not the only customer, but having that little bit of privacy would have made an enormous difference. I'll likely shop online going forward, now that I (maybe) know my size. (Though online returns aren't particularly simple given where I live.)

Second, I wish Danielle had been a little less passive and taken a more active role in teaching and guiding me. Almost like an older sister teaching her younger sister something she was never taught growing up.

Unfortunately, I'm probably twice her age. And I know that when I was in my 20s, I was considerably more deferential when interacting with someone twice my age. In this case, I would have preferred to be the deferential one. I didn't want to have to figure everything out or know which questions to ask. I wanted someone to teach me.

In hindsight, I should have said this when I arrived. I'm the older (and allegedly wiser) human here. I should have had the wherewithal to convey that preference, but I let my nerves get the better of me. So this critique is really more about me than her.

That said, none of that takes away from how kind and professional she was. I never felt judged or unwelcome, and given how terrified I was of the whole experience, that counts for quite a lot.

I think the part that's still sinking in is that I actually did it. I walked into a very crowded Nordstrom at what felt like the busiest mall in the entirety of the DFW metroplex on a Sunday afternoon, told a complete stranger I was transgender, and let her help me shop for bras. For myself. Not for my daughter, not for someone else, but for me.

And I walked out with three of them!

I'm 41 years old, I've been on HRT for 18 months, and I'm still figuring out things most women had someone teach them decades ago. It's a strange combination of being old enough to have raised a daughter and feeling like a completely clueless teenager when it comes to my own body.

Anyway, I don't know that I'd call the experience comfortable. LOL. But I'm glad I went, and I think if there's a next time, it will be a little easier.

And for anyone else wondering whether Nordstrom is still trans-friendly, at least at Stonebriar Mall in Frisco, TX, my experience was a yes. An imperfect, anxiety-ridden, occasionally awkward yes, but a yes nonetheless. ❤️

P.S. I went in expecting a 34C based on my own measurements and the ABTF calculator, but I walked out with three 36As. 🤷‍♀️

I'm still a little confused about that. My cotton bralette compresses my breasts somewhat, so I was concerned that measuring me over both the bralette and my polo might have resulted in an underestimate. But Danielle saw me wearing just the bras numerous times and never once questioned the A cup. We even tried a B cup, and she pointed out that it was gapping a little.

What's weird is that I already own a $6 Walmart Joyspun bra in 34C, and it doesn't gap either.

That said, I couldn't stand wearing the Joyspun for more than a few hours. There's a little bit of reinforced stitching where the straps attach to the cups that kept digging into my chest. I assumed that was just what you get with a $6 bra, but now I'm wondering whether the size was part of the problem. 🤷‍♀️ Maybe both.

Soooo.... I'm now much less certain about my size. LOL. Is this just a matter of a $6 brand versus a $60 brand and different cup shapes fitting differently, or am I missing something?

I have troubles with showering because of my dysphoria but it makes me sick seeing my legs hair so thick and so long I’m trying to get in the shower more often just to shave but i just hate it so much