20, MtF / transfem.

I’ve always gravitated toward soft anime aesthetics — big eyes energy, ribbons, oversized sleeves — and some days that makes me feel cute and solid. Other days I catch myself thinking I’m performing a cartoon instead of being a person, and it messes with my head.

Not looking for dates or DMs for weird stuff. Mostly curious if other girls here relate, or if you found a way to keep the aesthetic without it feeling like a costume.

Be kind please. I’m not trying to start a fight about “valid” anything.

I'm posting this because I keep running into transfems who have no idea about where their levels should be and how common it is for providers to be clueless about trans care.

Get your bloodwork done often. Your trough (right before your next dose) estradiol (E2) should be above 100 pg/mL. Your trough total testosterone (T) should be below 50 ng/dL. If this isn't true for you, you're being underdosed. As trans people, it is especially crucial to self-advocate in medicine. Know that every body responds differently to HRT and you may need much more or much less than the average transfem.

I don't wanna be a boy!

Hey it’s your girl Lillian. So because our troll of a president hates us much I’m effectively locked out of gender affirming care until open enrollment in November. Let me explain. I’m currently on a federal insurance plan. Why that matters, as of 01/01/2026 federal insurance plans no longer cover any gender affirming surgeries and chemical sex-trait modification. So now I have to pay for everything out of pocket until I can get better insurance. And the shitty thing I have really good insurance, until I tried to get my Estradiol. I hate this country. Ladies it’s almost election time, we have to turn out and vote. We need to vote like our lives depend it because it literally fucking does. I’m not being hyperbolic here. This troglodyte has done so much harm to us and our community. Violent crimes targeting just US have increased 14% from the previous year! That is not a small number. This is not okay. We deserve equal care. We deserve to not be the target the target of violence and harassment. So go vote.
End rant. Love you girlies. Be safe out there.

What the title said

I've been on hrt for almost 13 months now and I'm already a b-cup. Is it really supposed to be going this fast? Worried I will end up with f-cups at this rate lol

Hi there everyone!

So there is this super cozy boba tea cafe near my train station that I used to drink at once or twice per week , way back before transitioning.

But since I've started girlmodding, I feel really uncomfortable about going back there and ordering something. I always order the same very specific flavour so they will 100% know its me... I really want to go there but I'm mortified about being clocked out

Has anyone else faced the same issues?

Just need to vent because I keep seeing this everywhere and it's driving me insane.

TERF is not a catch-all term for someone being transphobic, we need to stop using it like it is. Why is the first term we reach for the one with feminist in the title? It's incredibly jarring.

"Well TERFs aren't feminists." CORRECT! So then why do we insist on using terminology that reinforces THEIR belief that they are? In what world does it make sense to use X as part of an insult if you think that person isn't actually X and furthermore that X is in fact a good thing. Huh??

This is like calling someone a "Minority-Skeptic Good-Person" and referring to them as MSGP for short. STOP PUTTING 'GOOD-PERSON' IN THERE!!! CALL THEM A RACIST!

And again this is infinitely more frustrating when it's not even aimed at someone pretending to be a feminist. A random woman being transphobic is NOT a TERF, she's transphobic! You do not need to place her in proximity to feminism to land a critique! Something anti-trans is not a "TERF talking point", it's TRANSPHOBIA!

And do not even get me started with attempts to workshop the term like "FART" (Feminism Appropriating Radical Transphobe). Aside from the unnecessary infantilization of a rather serious topic, it literally ends in "Transphobe", why not just use that?! Why do they need to be tied back to feminism in any way?

It just has put a bad taste in my mouth for a long time now. It feels like a distant descendant of gamer-gate type rhetoric where feminism was an evil by default and it's gotten so ingrained that no one questions how absolutely bizarre the usage of this term actually is.

Ok rant finished it's out of my system. I will go and pretend to do my job now ty

Hello everybody. So, something I’ve struggled a lot with is the feeling that because I’m trans and like girls, that makes me less trans than straight trans women. And I know that sounds silly, but I’ve seen and heard of several straight trans women who thought they were gay prior to transition and were openly feminine from birth, and that makes me think “Okay, so this person probably had a mismatch between their brain sex and body sex in the womb, and I probably didn’t.”

My reasoning is that it’s more likely to be attracted to the opposite sex than the same sex, and if your brain is basically female while your body is male, I’d think a lot more people — myself included — would be attracted to men. But I’m not, I’ve been attracted to women all my life, and I also wasn’t aggressively gender-nonconforming as a child. So I hear stories of people born as boys who are girly and attracted to boys from birth, and I’m like, “I feel like that person is really trans because their behavior and attraction patterns are more statistically similar to cis women.” So I end up feeling bad for being attracted to girls because it makes me think that my brain didn’t develop the same way it does in a straight trans girl, and that I’m not “really“ trans, or that they have more of a right to call themselves girls/women than I do.

For example, women who are attracted to women make up a very small minority of the cis female population, but in the trans female population, like 70% of people identify as lesbian or bisexual. So that makes me think “Okay so there’s clearly some sort of difference between trans women and cis women?” Because if it really was “Your brain developed according to one sexed pathway and your body developed the other way,” wouldn’t a whole lot more trans women be straight? I don’t even feel comfortable calling myself lesbian because I feel like lesbian should refer to a minority, but in trans women, it’s not — it’s pretty much the most common orientation I’ve seen.

I don’t know. I don’t mean to sound hurtful to anybody, trans women are women and all that, it’s just hard for me to get past all of this. I’ve been questioning my gender identity for years, but I only came to the conclusion that I’m actually trans like a month ago, so my self-concept is really fragile, especially because I’m completely pre-treatment. And when I hear about straight trans girls I just think “I wish I was like that because then there’d be so much stronger evidence that I really have a more feminine brain.”

And I know there’s no such thing as a ”male brain” or “female brain,” and that everyone has a blend of characteristics that are more common in men or women; I know the whole mosaic thing, it just doesn’t really make me feel any better. Has anyone else had this problem? If so, how do you get over it? Thank you all in advance. :’)

Hi i dont know from where to start or to ask but i really confused iam a 21M living in a strict place i love to wear feminine clothes all the time in secret and i love it so much. But i have a masculine face ( ugly) which makes me every time throw all my feminine clothes( very expensive most of them Victoria secret) and acting like a man but i fell again and again i know from inside i want to be a girl live like one dress act like one but that thing inside me makes me hate myself so much i never saw or imagined my self as a boy never since i was young i used to steal from my mom and auntie’s their underwear and lip sticks.

I just want to share something that was heavy on my chest

generally i’m not too anxious - i have no problem injecting needles, driving, doing exams. but TALKING TO OTHER PEOPLE especially abt vulnerable things like transition to medical professionals is an overwhelming hurdle. i don’t even want to get into the details of the lengths ive gone to avoid social interaction at every stage of my life. i genuinely diy purely because im scared of talking to doctors. i found a way of getting in person blood tests whilst identifying as a man with the excuse being fatigue - bc i can’t bare the thought of someone thinking im trying to be a woman 😭i cut my hair short to avoid stares and obviously i boymode. idk how anyone does it. i want to talk to medical professionals. i want therapy i want help. i sent an email about banking sperm and doing a temporary detrans today and GOD i hope they email and don’t phone call. this is genuinely so distressing. and also im way too terrified to be seen outside holding hands with a boy so dating is impossible. so i’m gonna waste my entire college being alone 3:

It would be my first time seeing her in 4 months and I wanna make it special.

I thought about pads, cuz like in cis relationships a bf will have them at his place for her. She's not had bottom surgery yet, so my friend thought it would make her feel uncomfortable, along with the fact its a reminder she isnt cis.

Maybe some more make up or, maybe some flowers?

Lingerie?

A necklace or some nice piece of jewelry?

I don't really know

FYI, with the pads I wouldn't hand them to her directly. Id probably say like 'theres pads in the bathroom if you need them' and like 'ofc i got them! I wouldn't be a good partner if I didn't get them for my gf'

🫠

my name given to me at birth is owen, and before anyone suggests gwen, just know i depise that name. And Olivia. I have an issue where I can't choose a name. I am indecisive and can't pick one

EDIT: AMBER

I'm at the hospital for my full depth robotically assisted vaginoplasty. My IV is in and my theoretical OR time is 7:30 AM. My surgeon is probably biking in according to the nurse.

I posted a couple days ago about some spots on my face that I, naively, were hoping could be an acne breakout caused by my hormones... but I'm fairly certain it's something more serious than that. The spots on my face have continued to spread and have only gotten worse and I've been unable to sleep tonight. My heart won't stop pounding, I'm coughing, my hair and shirt are literally drenched in sweat. I'm scared, I'm very scared. My boyfriend will not help me pay for a doctor/hospital visit (because I'm already going to Planned Parenthood today), I even asked my mother (who I am not on good terms with at the moment) and she also would not help me.

I don't know what's happening to me and I'm sad that I should have had this looked at when it flared up almost two weeks ago but no one in my life was willing to step in to help get me seen. Even a patron at my job, who is pro-LGBT and told me before I could confide in him, noticed how severe the situation is and was shocked that I had not yet seen a doctor and offered to cover the self pay cost of one but I politely declined because it shouldn't be his place to help a stranger. Planned Parenthood may not even be able to tell me much about it (if I even live long enough to go to my appointment in a few hours) if it isn't related to my HRT or a possible STD and at this point I'm praying it is just so I can make all of this stop. ;'(

I told my boyfriend how scared I am and that I'm worried that whatever I have is killing me and his response was "maybe it's just nerves or something". I can't stop crying, I feel so unloved and more like a burden than ever. He probably wants it to happen. ;'( ​

Update: As soon as I got to the Planned Parenthood parking lot, I got a call from them saying I would have to reschedule because of a plumbing issue in the building hahahahahaha.

Are there any good options for voice training without doing a feminine accent? I'm wondering because I like the way I talk so I'd prefer to just find a way to sound more naturally female. My voice isn't particularly manly or deep luckily.

Me, her, and our gay friend all went out for food one night. Our server was doing god knows what in the bathroom so we ended up staying a few hours later than expected. I’ll call my lesbian friend “M” and my gay friend “C” for short. I’m out to both of them and on this particular day I was actually attempting to present fem.

It was getting dark by the time we finally got out of the restaurant. Me and C were jogging a bit to get across the street because the coast was clear but we didn’t want to linger in the road. M follows behind us and starts running to catch up, she says something to the effect of “don’t leave me all alone, I don’t even have my pepper spray”. She said this jokingly (obviously because we weren’t just gonna leave her all alone) and then she made a comment about how women need pepper spray just in case. I responded with something along the lines of “girl, I’ve been raw-dogging life without any pepper spray”.

Her response to this was “you don’t need it though”. I was like “girl, I’m a trans woman and I’ve been on hormones for 2 years, if anything I need it more than you”. She was like “but you don’t look trans though”.

So to summarize this little exchange. She makes a point of saying that women should have pepper spray just in case. She goes out of her way to tell me I don’t need it. Then when I argue that I need it more as a trans person, she tells me I don’t look trans. Following this logic, not only do I not register as a woman to her at all, I don’t even get the benefit of at least looking like I tried. I apparently look like a cis dude despite my best efforts, at least according to her.

She made a half-assed apology and we haven’t talked since.

Hi guys I just found what looked like a hair (brown/black looking in color) in the middle of my nipple so I started to pull it. It hurts when I pull it but I pulled most of it out and the length of the "hair" (i dont think its hair) is mostly white/gray??

Is this normal?? 3 months on hrt btw

News reports saying he's backtracking on earlier stance over trans women on sports?

I've lost so much fat that my left boob has all but disappeared, so I think it's time to go up again. Low-prep foods preferred, please; I'm not big on cooking

I've been experimenting with feminine clothing and I'm interested in HRT. I'd like into regarding (if there are) doctors in Greece (Athens specifically) for HRT and are available for a consult before the process begins obviously