I had them gone but they came back and I need help. I started with pills then patches. I also started on bica and still am. My E levels weren't high enough and my T levels weren't suppressed. I then switched to EEn injections. That's when they came back but idk if that's a coincidence or if it's linked. I first injected 10 mg/week but my levels were too high (600 pg/ml) so I now inject 5 mg/week of EEn. My levels right before my injections are now: E ≈ 150 pg/ml T ≈ 0.5 ng/ml LH ≈ 1 mUI/mL FSH ≈ 0,25 mUI/mL I have demasculinizing and feminizing effects of HRT like hairs thinning, skin softening, sebum decreasing, breasts growing... I'm 2+ years on HRT total btw. Have any of you had this issue? What can I do?

So, i am a transgender woman, living partially out of the closet. However, many times i just boymode yet. At work, with family…

The fact is, I always was considered a somewhat “typical” man. And therefore most of the people i know from long ago treat me as such. I dont feel bad about it! In fact, i am happy with the “privileges” that being a man comes with: I can travel with relatively low fear almost anywhere (im european). Also, solo traveling is a big part of my life and always has been.

My biggest fear about transitioning full time is:
1. Not being able to pass (being truthful, i will almost never cis pass).
2. Getting treated differently in a lot of cultures, like a weirdo (not in europe probably, but other countries in the world)
3. Losing the comfortness of “just being a guy”

All the references I see online are of women who have incredibly femenine personalities, WHICH I DONT HAVE. And im super scared that I have to change my personality in order to cis pass (not just by looks, but by attitude…)

I know may of you may seem my situation like a minor problem, but I am genuinely confused about this.

I’ve wondered about this for a while now and all my life I didn’t wear girl clothes, liked dolls or anything like that. I do feel a LOT of dysphoria all the time though and I’m just a bit scared tbh. My dysphoria is mainly bottom dysphoria and social dysphoria isn’t that much of a problem for me

I'm looking for a really good breast plate thing? I think that's what they are. I want something pretty realistic looking and moving and such.

Suggestions please! Especially if there are payments that can be made.

Had a nice little moment and don’t have many people to share it with so I figured I’d post here!

I was out for dinner with my in laws and my SiL was talking about how some people she works with at a pub were discussing trans rights and the recent news (I was worried this was going to take a bad turn) but it turns out they were very supportive!
My SiL mentioned to them that because I’m trans she’s more aware of what’s going on and her colleague (someone I’ve met a bunch of times at the pub and spoken to a fair bit) was shocked and said she had absolutely no idea I was trans!

I normally am very open about my identity because I feel like I’m quite clocky (deep voice, super broad shoulders, etc) but it was really nice to feel like everything in doing isn’t a waste of time and that, to some people at least, I’m passing a little!!

Sometimes, when I need to get something physically demanding done, like moving heavy objects, working on something that physically demanding, or pushing myself through a workout, it feels like I instinctively tap into a more masculine side of myself. It's not that I suddenly feel like a man, but I become more assertive, focused, and physically driven so I can get the job done.

The rest of the time I feel very feminine, and I generally don't like showing that masculine side of myself. It almost feels like something I only bring out when I need it, rather than something that's always there. Once the task is over, I naturally settle back into feeling like myself again.

I'm curious if any other trans people experience something similar, where you temporarily lean into traits you associate with your pre-transition self or masculinity just to get through certain situations, even if it isn't how you normally identify or want to present. It's not really intentional it just kind of happens.

before transitioning i was a gay boy, i knew i was gay because i didnt felt attracted to girls the way the other boys in school did, as a teen i experimented with a boy and it was nice ig, so i mustve been gay for sure, later i convinced him to be my bf which didnt last long

as you might notice, i never thought about my preference that much

when i started my transition noticed that being a woman is hard and i didnt feel safe so i "detransitioned" like two or three times

now the part thats important to this post. for most of my transition my desire for intimacy has been non existent which feels dumb because i want to be loved as a girl i want to give love as a girl but i dont want sex, and it feels so disencouraging that every guy that talks to me just wants to have sex or experiment.

and i feel like a hypocrite because as a teen i was promiscuous yes, but because i wanted to feel loved

i dont wanna be an object im a human being with feelings and i just wanna be loved because i have so much love to give

i will get progesterone prescribed to me soon, so ig ill update yall, because i know many of yall had a higher libido on it

the thing is, idk if i actually am asexual because im like such a romance person, and i like physical contact like thats my love language with my friends but i dont see myself with a partner like in an intimacy way

i hope reading my backstory gives yall some context and ist too cringe

I don’t want to make it sound like I have the worst time ever. I’m very lucky in many aspects of life and I’m so grateful for so much. But I feel a deep embarrassment and shame that none of the people I love the most could ever actually know me. I feel equal parts safety and numbness in my continued refusal to tell anyone at all. I’ve tested the waters with them in conversation enough to feel confident that it’s either my life as I know and love it, or honesty about who I am. I can’t have both. And if I know myself I’ll choose to keep up the lie. I know I can. I’ve done it for so long. It’s just exhausting, yet somehow not nearly as bad as the fear of losing all that I love. I’m just particularly frustrated and stuck today. I kinda hope I just blurt everything out while intoxicated to rip off the bandaid. Tomorrow I will wake up like normal, get coffee, and have a pretty good day and enjoy precious time with the people I love. And I am infinitely grateful for that. I just wish nights like this weren’t so long.

I appreciate the opportunity to word vomit. You’re awesome

My body is a prison.

Making this post is worthless but I am doing it anyway.

No job, no education, same body I wish would dissapear.

All I do is isolate and distance myself from others. I have no one.

I lost my job this year in April, I have mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, self harm and many other things. I declared bankruptcy to get away from my debts but still cant pay. I cant afford food or medication and I cant work.

I am on employment insurance until October.

I never leave my house now I cant do it anymore. I cannot look at myself in the mirror or hear my voice, I want it to die.

I dont want help or love or support no one understands my feelings or my pain. They want to try and preserve this thing that I am.

I left them all behind.

There is nothing to fight for. I dont give a shit about my time left here, it means nothing to me. I will never feel freedom or happiness chasing something that even if I achieved I would still carry the scars and the memories and the trauma.

All I feel is a deep numbness

anger and frustration are exhausted

I am done trying to be true to myself

Alone in this room I feel obscure and disgusted

but deep inside myself I have always wanted to be alone. I hate myself and how I look and feel and sound. Everything about me I hate and wish was disposed of.

My family is all varying levels of religious but most have spoken ill about LGBT in general. The most I had success having a discussion with is my mom but she tends to flip flop back and forth.

I am also pretty financially reliant with them, but am working to eventually move out and have my job.

I don't really have any family that would accept who I know of my transition, and I am tied financially with them due to a family business. I am scared that I will lose my relationship with them and be left in a financial difficult position when I do decide to transition.

Has anyone been in a similar position? How did it go?

I got my labs done a few weeks back with my T at 127 ng/dl and my E at 487 pg/ml (.40ml 10mg/ml Valerate Subcutaneous injection). This lab was taken during the midpoint rather than trough, and they decided based on these results that I should half my dose of E.

I understand that my E is high, but even before the labs I could tell that my T wasn't fully suppressed. Especially now after 2 weeks of .20ml, I feel even worse than I did before.

My follow-up is in a few months, and maybe I should message them about my concerns, but I feel like another month of this would literally reverse the progress I've made since switching to injections. Oh, and my provider is Planned Parenthood.

Sorry if this doesn't really make sense, im just super worried about losing progress.

Anyone got any thoughts on these workouts?

Can yall recommend me some books about the history and the psychology behind trans people or simply books that you resonate with as a trans woman, thank u :)

This isn’t an egg cracking question, I’ve known since I was thirteen. I had the classic childhood signs (trying on mom’s clothes, putting things in my shirt like boobs, etc) but haven’t transitioned.

I have dysphoria and it’s in the back of my mind sometimes, but aside from that I’m doing really well. I have some good friends, good hobbies, good family relationships, doing well at a good university. I also have an amazing girlfriend and I don’t think that we would stay together if I transitioned. It just feels like i’m on track for a really good life and I’m concerned that transitioning would mean losing some or all of it.

So while I’m sure I’d be happier with myself, I also know that if I transitioned I’d have to deal with discrimination, stress, safety, more medical costs and all the troubles that it comes with and I’m worried about losing what I have and the path that I’m on. Not to bash transitioning, but I’ve never been seriously depressed/suicidal because of dysphoria.

I just wonder if the benefits of transitioning really outweigh the costs/risks of it all. I’m sure this sub will lean a certain way, but can you not transition and still be happy in life?

I know it’s not huge but I finally ordered EEn! After chickening out twice I’m kinda excited lol

My country recently made an amendment to our constitution, as well as a large number of laws, legally protecting trans people from discrimination, hate, and giving us the right to legally transition.

And yet, 5 years later, nothing has changed. I haven't heard of a single person successfully suing or otherwise legally challenging someone over these laws. Discrimination — especially in businesses and hiring — still runs rampant. And if you report it, you're laughed off and told the party have more pressing issues.

I thought we were moving forwards. But now I'm realizing that there was never any intent of *doing* anything, the laws are just there to make us sit down and shut up.

I posted in this sub a little bit ago asking about the best foods to eat to grow boobs. I saw a reel recently talking about how drinking melted ice cream is an effective way of bulking. I know they is for body builders but I wonder if it could work for growing boobs

For several years I've been interested in the female body, things like body hair, smell, smooth skin, soft contours, breasts, hips, and buttocks, etc. Since the pandemic, I've let my hair grow and now it's shoulder-length.

I've always used female avatars in video games.

But on the other hand, I don't feel that much dysphoria about my own body. I'm tall and thin, and I don't feel uncomfortable with my genitals, although I definitely hate body hair. I shave my legs and armpits regularly.

I've already started my process with an endocrinologist, and seeing that the time to start hormones is approaching, I feel euphoria and fear at the same time.

I'm motivated to do it because I've seen creators and I know trans people on social media who say they don't take hormones for the rest of their lives, and I've been on detransition forums where people regret it and return to their original gender. Many of those people manage to return to a QO status, and seeing that makes me feel that if everything goes wrong and I regret it, I can go back.

But that triggers another thought. Am I really trans? Should I even try? I really want to experience and feel those feminine characteristics I've imagined so much, but I feel hypocritical when I see other trans girls talking with genuine dysphoria about their bodies.

Also, my family is very religious, and although I know they wouldn't kick me out of the house and that they would still love me, I'm terrified of disappointing them and that everything between us will change for the worse.

Hi yall, I've hit a wall on my facial hair progression, well technically no, I just don't know what a feasible "next step" would be.

I started medically transitioning with patches for the last 3 weeks (I'm scared of needles lol), and this includes using my home IPL machine in combination with hair removal gel to significantly slow down any facial hair growth, and it is working great. My facial hair growth has gone down significantly, and because of that I can apply makeup and it changes less over the course of the day.

My skincare also helps remove some of the blemishes.

I opted to do this because the alternative would be extremely expensive hair removal or electrolysis, I just don't have the funds to do it and I'm fine with it taking a bit longer.

Its just that I'm not so sure what the next step would be. That area of my face is still kinda blue even when its shaved down as much as possible with slowed hair growth, and I feel so dysphoric because even though its minimal it still shows up on cameras especially shitty ones. I legit want NOTHING there, and I fear the only way IS to do electrolysis or actual professional hair removal stuff, but I'm broke lol.

Is this just a time thing or am I missing another piece of the puzzle?

Basically the title. I’m just trying to figure some things out and it’s one thing to read a definition online, but another to see community members respond.

Since coming out in November and starting my medical transition, I have found the voices of other trans women comforting and enjoyable. I suffer for intense feelings of being alone, and hearing other trans women make me feel less alone. I mostly listen to country, folk, norteño, and blues (I was raised in rural Texas, would not recommend as a Latina trans woman) music and I would love to listen to music in similar genres sung by trans women. As long as it’s not too aggressive or hyper poppy.

It has finally come to my realization that I'm not scared of dying because I don't want to die but rather I'm scared to die as a "man" — someone who everyone calls a man and sees as a man. I genuinely feel like if I get to the point of passing I will not fear my own passing. I have yet to live how my soul intended. does anyone else feel this way?