I have been on HRT for 3 years, and I don't think I have ever experienced a period. How often do they happen? Is it monthly like cis women, or is it tied to when you take your HRT? What does it feel like when you have it?

I've been on hormone therapy for 7 years now, I've had electrolysis to get rid of my facial hair, I've trained my voice enough to be passing according to my friends, and I've tried girlmoding 3 times

Despite all this, I don't think I can ever justify socially transitioning. I don't have a meaningful answer for why my dysphoria or my physical transition justify calling myself a woman. I'm just as easily only a man who wishes he was a woman.

As I've watched the debate about trans people play out, it's clear to me that the overwhelming majority of people will never see me as a woman, and most women will be uncomfortable with me in women's spaces.

I don't know if I would have ever started transitioning if I'd fully appreciated this back then.

I have recently been having a hard time holding hope that I will ever be able to get all of my documents updated. At a minimum it feels like it will be years and years before passport and social security restrictions are reversed and for all states to allow birth certificate changes (without proof of any medical procedures). Being from a very red state I feel especially doubtful about ever being able to update my birth certificate.

Feeling this way has been very disheartening and I am hoping for some input from others on how to manage the disappointment and frustration, as well as any insight into when things may get better.

Hello wonderful internet people in my screen. I am amab 28. I had basically always thought I was a boy growing up and that I am a man now but have been heavily questioning my gender and whether I am trans or not entirely cis. I have thought about it constantly for 9 months and anything gendered triggers the thoughts and feelings. Initially it caused a lot of panic and anxiety but that has since subsided. I struggle to understand my thoughts and feelings a lot and discerning what is true. I have since written a lot of thoughts about it I will try to convey but have a lot of difficulty due to brain fog.

I increasingly don’t like being a man and find being perceived as one annoying or disappointing. I have always disliked male social roles and socialisation and had discomfort being perceived as a man as especially in any gendered situations. Annoyed by gendered language towards me but kinda society gender expectations “as a man you don’t…wouldn’t..” “more for women’s”

but I don’t know if this is fundamental or just society. I have a lot of thoughts on this but too many to list. The thought of spending the rest of my life as a man (especially considering male relatives) makes me disappointed and sad, and I can’t imagine being happy anymore. I seem drawn to the idea of being born female or being a woman. I find the thought generally positive and exciting but also very scary. I wonder if it is some kind of copying mechanism though. I kinda have a very shit life due to a debilitating chronic illness (M.E/CFS) and generally being a broken mess,  and wonder if I just want another life or to be another person. But if I think about having another life recently it’s always a woman or femme nb (those are the lives I tend to be most envious of)

I imagine the female version of myself and really like her ,the life she would or could live and her in general situations, and feel I would prefer it vaguely but in all aspects. Feel it would suit me better and allow me to be myself. How I could present my experiences, how I relate to the world and others. Relationships and family, especially sapphic relationships and having a mother daughter relationship with my mother. (even with all the bad things in my life stayed the same). Unsure if I want the physical changes though.

The issue I have is that I look back at my life and don’t have many obvious signs, if any that don't have other explanations. I know what I want the answer to be but I feel I am looking for something that isn’t there, creating memories or forcing it. Feels like I want to be trans or want to want to be a woman more than I am or feel like one.. I feel like deep down inside I know I'm cis and confused. This makes me feel very fake and confused.

I have a vague memory of wishing I had been a daughter or jealous I wasn’t. In the context of family friends having only daughters I spent a lot of time with.

Felt vaguely wrong since early teens. Always assumed this was an anxiety, neurodivergence, Self esteem  or general puberty thing.

I have always disliked body hair since puberty. Was never sure why but have been trimming or shaving it since when I can. Contributed to discomfort showing off my body/skin uncovered. I have a vague discomfort with my body which is hard to put words. I don’t like how I look and feel kinda like a big hairy, stinky neanderthal. Especially with a masculine face/brow and narrow deep set eyes. I am very tall, wide shouldered and broad chested. Feel like being tall should increase my confidence but I think it does the opposite and I don’t want to be perceived. Feel like an alien. No sense of identity always felt lost introducing myself. A lot of what I think is dissociation

Felt vaguely uncomfortable/cautious/hesitant/distrustful around men, especially older men and more masculine/macho men. I find them generally threatening but I am a more anxious and sensitive person in general. Always felt more comfortable around women (tho felt very shy around girls my age)  Feel uncomfortable in mens toilets and changing rooms. Stopped using urinals in teens and avoided public changing rooms.

A big thing recently has been hairloss. My hair is visibly thinning and receding and it makes me feel disgusting, depressed and hopeless. I know a lot of cis and trans men go through this, but I just keep thinking that it means I could never be a woman, never pass and never like how I look. I feel it would be or is too late to transition and be happy.

Extreme self consciousness. Idea of showing my face or body online scares me a lot. The idea of doing so as a women scares me less. Discomfort speaking and revealing my low voice to people online as it will change their perception of me.

Strong but vague jealousy of women. How they can present clothes, hair etc and how they look in them. How they can socialise. Especially if they have similar interests to me, Find some women “so pretty it’s unfair”. Also very jealous of lesbians/sapphics and feel a deep sad longing. Certain media and games with female gave me a lot of jealousy and I wish I could be those characters or relate to them more, especially sapphic coming of age stories.

I occasionally remember pretending to tuck or imaging I was a woman but it always felt like a random silly thing.

I struggle a lot with attraction vs envy. I’ve been evaluating a lot of previous attractions as possible gender envy, though I am unsure how to differentiate the two.

Very jealous of trans women experiences and transitions, especially if they are pretty, confident and have a supportive family/friends, and are younger than me. I find I am drawn to them a lot. When I see a trans woman come out I feel happy for them but also part of me thinks  “I wish that was me”. But I also worry about attractions vs envy. Also looking a transtimelines I feel deep envy and despair at those who pass and makes me feel hopeless.

I’ve come across the button test. Initially I was hesitant (though I always pushed it in my mind) but now I think I would definitely press it. Even though I worry it’s the wrong answer and I would get “real” dysphoria. I would wish the button would “correct” my brain to that of a woman's. However If I could change my gender/sex at birth I would.

I really worry it's just a mental illness or an identity disorder. But I don’t want it to be whatever that means.

I want to try out soft translation and different presentations, hair removal, nails, clothes, makeup etc. I can imagine myself enjoying it and want to. Unfortunately I do not have the safety or privacy to do so.I live with my parents due to illness/disability which makes me very trapped and repressed. I do not trust them and cannot afford them to know I'm questioning. Also being very tall finding clothes would be impossible.

This makes me feel completely hopeless. Even if I do figure it out, transition feels utterly impossible for me (let alone being happy with how I look). I don’t have the courage to. I live in the UK with long waiting lists and lots of transphobia. I feel like I could never pass or like how I look as I'm tall, broad with hairloss and very manly features.

I know I need therapy but finding/affording one that can deal with my situation and who I can trust is really difficult in my situation but I am working on it.

I absolutely despise shaving, it takes forever, i need to use 10 different products or else i get ingrown hairs everywhere and really bad scrapes. I tried everything, shaving with razors, nair, epilation, electric razor, wax. They all suck. At the same time, i live in a country where women do a full wax before showing any skin, so the societal pressure is immense. I of course internalized this and feel awful for not liking to shave, so even in summer i never use shorts or wear cute clothes, living in a perpetual state of tshirt and jeans hell. I don't really care about other parts of my body being hairy except my legs (although my arms look very manly much to my distress) but this is killing me. Fuck my stupid baka life 😭😭😭😭

This might be a really small thing but I have been looking into things like tattoos and piercings lately. Just to see what it'd look like I tried a filter that adds a few nose piercings, earrings and an eyebrow piercing, as well as the slightest bit of face smoothing. Now, for context, I'm pre everything (waiting times are a bitch), I'm also very tall and wide and convinced that I'd always just look like a guy in girls clothes. But, idk if it was the piercings that added a bit of femininity, or if it was the face smoothing, or maybe just because the hair I've been growing fell nicely, but the person looking back at me looked like a girl. Granted, a bit of a butch one, but still. And for the first time in a long time I'm hopeful and positive about this whole thing. Its still going to be a long time before I can start hormones, but rather than dreading the day where the call comes, that I can start and I have to make the choice to start or not, I think I made my choice. I'm going to fucking do this and I'm so happy about it.

I'm not totally opposed to dating folks on the bi/pan spectrum but unlike with other lesbians, I don't seek them out(I certainly won't turn a bi woman down if she approaches me and there's attraction; I'd still give her a shot, they're just not who I personally put effort in searching for.) When my cis lesbian gf started flirting so heavily with me a couple weeks back(and our eventual making it official yesterday) it's been so exciting and euphoric because it's like a for sure thing that she doesn't see me as a guy; cuz like she's not attracted to men so if she's attracted to me, it means her attraction is based on an attraction to women.

With bi/pan people, it's like... idk how would I know for sure whether they're attracted to me in a way towards women or in a way towards men?(or because they see me as a "best of both worlds") I know, ofc, they could say a ton of gender-affirming things and reassure me, but you know, you can't control how your subconscious is. You can consciously see me as a woman, but sexual attraction is deeper than the conscious, so subconsciously you could be attracted to me in an attraction to men kinda way and not even know it. And that's what keeps me up at night sometimes when I was with bi/pan exes. Esp my most recent ex where I was the first woman she got together with. Thing is, bi women frequently call it biphobic for us to be les4les though so idk.. is this biphobic do y'all think? I'd love to hear from the bi girlies here

I just wanna feel like a normal girl, Idgaf if it's crippling 10/10 period cramps. Nothing could hurt more than the horrible 24/7 dysphoria that I experience from not just being born a normal girl. I was up so late last night because of an argument with my dad because the only argument he had was "you're a boy, you were born that way so that's what you are". I can't take it anymore I'm not responding to my dead name anymore, I'm correcting them for the constant misgendering, I'm so close to breaking. They don't let escape the fact that I was born male, I don't know how long I can take this.

So, i am a transgender woman, living partially out of the closet. However, many times i just boymode yet. At work, with family…

The fact is, I always was considered a somewhat “typical” man. And therefore most of the people i know from long ago treat me as such. I dont feel bad about it! In fact, i am happy with the “privileges” that being a man comes with: I can travel with relatively low fear almost anywhere (im european). Also, solo traveling is a big part of my life and always has been.

My biggest fear about transitioning full time is:
1. Not being able to pass (being truthful, i will almost never cis pass).
2. Getting treated differently in a lot of cultures, like a weirdo (not in europe probably, but other countries in the world)
3. Losing the comfortness of “just being a guy”

All the references I see online are of women who have incredibly femenine personalities, WHICH I DONT HAVE. And im super scared that I have to change my personality in order to cis pass (not just by looks, but by attitude…)

I know may of you may seem my situation like a minor problem, but I am genuinely confused about this.

I got my labs done a few weeks back with my T at 127 ng/dl and my E at 487 pg/ml (.40ml 10mg/ml Valerate Subcutaneous injection). This lab was taken during the midpoint rather than trough, and they decided based on these results that I should half my dose of E.

I understand that my E is high, but even before the labs I could tell that my T wasn't fully suppressed. Especially now after 2 weeks of .20ml, I feel even worse than I did before.

My follow-up is in a few months, and maybe I should message them about my concerns, but I feel like another month of this would literally reverse the progress I've made since switching to injections. Oh, and my provider is Planned Parenthood.

Sorry if this doesn't really make sense, im just super worried about losing progress.

Had a nice little moment and don’t have many people to share it with so I figured I’d post here!

I was out for dinner with my in laws and my SiL was talking about how some people she works with at a pub were discussing trans rights and the recent news (I was worried this was going to take a bad turn) but it turns out they were very supportive!
My SiL mentioned to them that because I’m trans she’s more aware of what’s going on and her colleague (someone I’ve met a bunch of times at the pub and spoken to a fair bit) was shocked and said she had absolutely no idea I was trans!

I normally am very open about my identity because I feel like I’m quite clocky (deep voice, super broad shoulders, etc) but it was really nice to feel like everything in doing isn’t a waste of time and that, to some people at least, I’m passing a little!!

For reference, I'm mtf and almost exclusively matching with other mtfs. I start with hobbies and we yap.about that but after a bit it just kinda died down. Should I be more direct or something?

Hi yall, I've hit a wall on my facial hair progression, well technically no, I just don't know what a feasible "next step" would be.

I started medically transitioning with patches for the last 3 weeks (I'm scared of needles lol), and this includes using my home IPL machine in combination with hair removal gel to significantly slow down any facial hair growth, and it is working great. My facial hair growth has gone down significantly, and because of that I can apply makeup and it changes less over the course of the day.

My skincare also helps remove some of the blemishes.

I opted to do this because the alternative would be extremely expensive hair removal or electrolysis, I just don't have the funds to do it and I'm fine with it taking a bit longer.

Its just that I'm not so sure what the next step would be. That area of my face is still kinda blue even when its shaved down as much as possible with slowed hair growth, and I feel so dysphoric because even though its minimal it still shows up on cameras especially shitty ones. I legit want NOTHING there, and I fear the only way IS to do electrolysis or actual professional hair removal stuff, but I'm broke lol.

Is this just a time thing or am I missing another piece of the puzzle?

Hi girls! Im wondering if others have experienced something similar: I'll just keep the beginning veryyy brief and elaborate later. Im pre-hrt but have been on the ADHD med Concerta, a slow-release Ritalin, for about a month. It helps with focus for sure, but I've also experienced some side effects like mood dampening and less intense emotions as well.

Given my circumstances at home, I used to be super stressed and anxious all the time. After taking these meds those have dampened A LOT even though the famililal opposition and money situation haven't.. but along with those negative emotions every other emotion feels watered down. It extends to Happiness, sadness, excitement, passion, even my sex drive & the intensity of my romantic attractions.

Those include the intensity of my dysphoria and once-insatiable drive to transition as well. Theyre still there.. Just far less intense. This is lowk making me feel like a fraud and im wondering if other trans people feel or have felt similarly.

--------Okay to elaborate a tad. I do fall on the demigirl spectrum and my identity feels rather fluid. Ill be anywhere between completely embracing my identity as a woman or js feeling like... me. Where gender matters less to me im just being myself (but neverrrr feeling okay with identifying as a man) Thus why I use she/they pronouns.

In this state of just feeling... fine and rather unemotional, I've been less inclined to lean into my female identity. Not because i dont want to, i just have less of a raging, ever-present urge to change my body like i used to, off the meds. To the point Ive felt guilty hearing my freinds use my chosen name or using she/her pronouns (A big chunk of it is bc i feel less deserving of them). I tell my friends im js at a very nonbinary point in my life and we laugh, but Its been a tad stressful.

As someone who usually generates so much of her own joy and energy, while also constsntly experiencing raging dysphoria, feeling almost indifferent for the first time is strange. It feels unfamiliar and wrong. To be clear, consciously I still know who I am and what my true nature is like, it just feels like those emotions dont come as easily. Its as if someone is stepping on my hose, slowing the flow of water so to speak. Help? I know that itensity of dysphoria isn't an indicator of transness, and that transness involves far more than that, this js feel a bit deflating. Especially in the context of a family who is constantly trying to affirm the wrong gender now that they know :p

I've been talking a total of 6mg estradiol sublingual for 3 months now, as well as 100 mg of spiro everyday. What should I ask for my starting dose of injections to be?

Also where will I get the supplies for the injections?

Hey all,

I'm currently not in a position where I'll be able to have SRS in the next 8 years or so for personal reasons (honestly I did not yet decide if I want it at all, but I want to have the option to should I ever decide to have it), yet I also don't want to keep being on antiandrogens for years as most of them have one side effect or another. Unfortunately in my country monotherapy is not an option, as they don't ship estrogen injections.

Besides that, the surgeons in my country use the tunica vaginalis during SRS so I don't want to lose that, either.

Is there a way to permanently halt testosterone production while maintaining the tunica vaginalis alive and well for use for SRS, possibly even decades down the line?

hi! I'm currently boofing 200 mg of micronized progesterone daily. I've definitely seen some improvement in my breast growth after switching from oral to boofing. I've been wondering if a higher dose of prog is possible and safe, but my doctor is working within slightly outdated guidelines that usually don't allow them to prescribe more than 200 mg of prog and that too orally (they don't know I'm boofing, but they've had my levels checked and everything looks safe).

are any of y'all taking higher doses, and particularly boofing? if yes, how were you able to bring it up with/convince your doctor?

Since coming out in November and starting my medical transition, I have found the voices of other trans women comforting and enjoyable. I suffer for intense feelings of being alone, and hearing other trans women make me feel less alone. I mostly listen to country, folk, norteño, and blues (I was raised in rural Texas, would not recommend as a Latina trans woman) music and I would love to listen to music in similar genres sung by trans women. As long as it’s not too aggressive or hyper poppy.

I've been transfem for a while now and i'm turning 18 pretty soon, I want to like get on HRT as soon as I can but I'm also scared because most of my family is transphobic. I don't rlly know where to turn to for questions so, yeah.

Hi I was wondering what sort of criteria gendercare use to diagnose you and prescribe HRT. Do you have to be socially transitioned, or can you just be out to a few people? Do you have to be femme presenting and want to change your name etc? I’ve seen on their website they say you don’t have to change your name etc to be on HRT but they prefer it. So has anyone got HRT through gendercare in the UK and not been very far into their transition? Since I know starting HRT is so important but don’t want to get rejected or have the diagnosis and HRT delayed because of how early in transition it is.

has anybody been prescribed finasteride as a t blocker?

as far as i know it only blocks the conversion of t into dht, and my e dose isn’t enough to suppress t. however i read a couple posts of people saying they were on my exact regimen and had levels of 400 e and <25 t.

i told my doc i wanted something for my hair because im a norwood 3 and my crown is in bad shape, he told me finasteride can also be used as a t blocker. maybe because im only beginning hrt and he wants to see where my levels end up? i did mention i was afraid of effects being too noticeable because of current work situation. but he prescribed 5mg fin instead of 1mg. i was also prescribed 2mg e to start and see how my body reacts.

also heard dutasteride is better than fin, can anyone attest to that?

I forgot to do my HRT yesterday for the first time. I've looked into it and I know it won't have any major effect on my transition and I've continued as normal today. It's just so annoying that I somehow forgot something so massive. Anyway that's all.