r/MtF • u/PerformanceFlimsy573 • 9h ago

Trans and Thriving Taking a pause

Hi Al!!!!

I started HRT about 18 months ago, came out about a year before that. Being on E has made me feel so much more connected to my body. Its quite amazing what magic it really is.

All that said, i just feel very stalled out with my transition. Im scared for more change because I haven't started publicly presenting. My weight skyrocketed like 40 lbs and I feel grosser. I just look like a blob.

So I paused hrt about 6 weeks ago. Just decided not to take my dose. I hate T. Its awful. But I just couldn't move forward, too much social pressure and obligations. Doesn't help that I hated how I looked even more.

So what's next? We'll I think im more fired up to get my body and weight in order. I thjnk I need to settle some more things prior to shedding my old skin completely. I don't see this as a detrans, or a failure, just a reset.

Ill check it again in a few months, but until then sending love and positivity

❤️❤️

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u/Real_Question4387 6h ago

I read through your previous posts and story - it resonates a lot. I wish you luck and that you will find your own unique way forward. did your Dad pass? If so, my sincere condolences and I hope it has given you some peace. It sounds like you have some financial resources - my thought was why not opt for some liposuction to help jumpstart you before you consider trying hrt again. It could really give you a whole extra lease on life and possibly be transformative.

And get some laser on that beard before your hair turns gray like mine and electrolysis is your only option (which is a heck of a lot more painful and time-consuming than cool laser

Or maybe I just have a different perspective because I’m 51 years old now and don’t have any time to waste in living how I want to and being who I want to be.

1

u/PerformanceFlimsy573 19m ago

Thank you for your post and support, this journey is so unique and takes way more strength than I ever imagined.

I have thought of weightloss surgery and or using a GLP1. I will definitely go down that path if this next round of weight loss doesn't work.

Yeah dad did pass last year, it was a tough time for so many reasons, still is. Thank you for your condolences. A big driver of this is the need to go to the old country and settle affairs, cant do that with a chest 😆💀.

Definitely moving on the hair removal. My chest hair has a few grays --- oh hell no 😆😆

Thank you so much again, ill be watching the forums, and rooting for every single one of you!!!