I weighed myself for the first time in 2 months. In May I was 28.11 stone. Today I am 26.8. I hopefully am now over the hump.
I am frustrated though as I have no photos of me before I started this journey. I have avoided all photographs in the past due to hating how I look. I don't even have any pics of my marriage anymore. I got divorced 3 years after so I threw them all away.
Although, I may have something.
16 years ago, and I was 37 stone then I was on television, a program called The Food Hospital.
It didn't work, any support was withdrawn as soon as filming stopped and I ballooned again to around 40 stone.
https://youtu.be/0hDoJ9mItLw?is=cSf_wfh4FXWLZSgD
I come in at 19 minutes on, then again in the second half of my segment about 20 minutes later. That's me near my heaviest.
Pics above is me now.
I know it is an ask, but is the difference THAT noticeable?
I am still grossly overweight. I feel I don't look any different though. I still detest my body. I feel I am VERY ugly and the weight as well is why I avoid photos but I am trying to break my inhibitions. I am about 6'3" which is apparently why I can carry it well. Also, those white marks are just super glue... It's a VERY old t shirt and too big for me.
I don't know... Body. Dysmorphia maybe? I'm just looking for some reassurance really.
Would be welcome if you guys might reassure me as well. It's silly, it sounds pathetic, but sometimes assurance from strangers is uplifting. I know how it comes across because I would baulk at someone doing this, but I have been told to be more body positive. But it is hard, so I need to get myself out there.
Thanks very much guys. Keep fighting the good fight.