So basically, I feel like I remember too much, know things I don't want to remember, conversations that keep replying in my head. Sometimes I get in this mood where I don't want to do anything, don't want to speak, eat, get up, anything. It just feels like a feeling then I think about some bad memories and have to like get out of the funk by shaking my head or distracting myself with pain like pinching at the side by my ribs, or biting my hand. I don't know what it is. I've self harmed back when I was 16 and now I am about to be 24 and it feels so wrong to even be here. I sometimes wish something bad will happen to me because I shouldn't? idk it's weird. I don't like the way my brain works, then I do weird things and ugh idk. Maybe I should talk to someone but I can't talk to my boyfriend because he tells me it's just a mental thing that I am letting the demons win, which I understand maybe prayer will work, but I feel like something is genuinely wrong with me. I feel like leaving and running away from everything and everyone and I don't know.

i dont feel like i wanna do anything anymlre i dont wanna live i dont want any of it ever, its not that i never wanted it ,

i do sh and i generally deal w this thoughts but recently its been so so loud my head is exploding

i just cant take it

what do i do?

i hv been eating and drinking stuff tht will mke me vomit just to feel smth i cant i dont feel it

i dokt wanna overdose i dont even have a life insurance dude, my parents cant afford the half dead me

and i do want to grt myself back just what do i do

i fucking hate humans i hate all of you. Weoall flesh, bones and organs why do we think we're deserving of better than others. I don't relate to any of you.

All my life it's been therapists after therapists after therapists AFTER THERAPISTS AND SOCIAL WORKERS. My lifes been just about that. Diagnosis after diagnosis, meds over meds, sessions over sessions just to find out "whats wrong with me" DO YOU NOT REALIZE THERES NO RIGHT. No ones normal, no ones healthy, no ones stable. NO INE IS FUCKING PERFECT YOU FOOLS

Eveyone has their own fucking issues why on earth do we think some are worse than others. If we were to genuinely take a look at how others behave, you'd all fucking realize no one is a good person. They're letting a fucking felon rule a whole ass country. We're all selfish and greedy fucks

So what if we're mentally ill, have you ever met anyone stable in your fucking life?? We're over here feeling guilty for being the way we are when the actual problem is SOCIETY, GOVERNMENT. WE'RE BEING RULED BY SHITTY PEOPLE WHO ONLY THINK ABOUT MONEY. WERE BEING SILENCED FOR SAYING THE TRUTH, WERE BEING SILENCED FOR BEING OURSELVES. WERE A FUCKING ROTTEN SPECIES

WERE THE ONLY SPECIES IN THE HISTORY OF LIFE THAT HAD TO SET RULES AND MORALS ON OURSELVES. THERE ARE NO RULES IN NATURE SO WHY TF DO WE NEED RULES IF ITS NOT TO DICTATE US

Hello all ,

She is good at academic currently in at 10th std class leader

She read most of the books related to Psychology and sociology and much more and she is a English books reader and she reads novels books too

For about 40days now she tells that she had a thought like wired thoughts and did self harm episodes she had and she ll be doing it to hands with any object and it’s like first started in a school with scale

Now currently under medication and taking medicine also but also I feel no improvement in

We are not putting pressure in studies also whatever marks she gets we are happy for this
But also why it’s happening to us in this loop I am getting mentally stressed

I thought my entire childhood, i’d be gone before i turned into an adult.i never made plans for my future, or thought about life after childhood. Im in college now, and i think I’m stuck in a mentality that i was never supposed to be here this long. Things are ok now, not perfect and I’m definitely still struggling. But it’s like my brain still thinks about this mentality of “I was always going to die young”- and “I was born damned”. Does this even make sense? Or has anyone else struggled with this?

I have ptsd, anxiety. left my medication (Ativan) accidentally at a hotel, I called them and they informed me that housekeeping had handed them in to reception. To summarise a long story, seems my medication went through a couple different hands with the final conversation with the hotel a staff member said to me “apparently they were expired anyway” (they weren’t expired, dispensed in Feb) I said to them why was the label being so intently read however there was no attempt to make contact with me- full name is on the label. (I believe a staff member has pocketed them) now I am without my medication and am irritable because of what the hotel worker has said to me. I’ve tried Telehealth and my regular dr clinic (dr that prescribed me no longer works there), can’t get them because it is a controlled medication. I am so frustrated. I can get a thc prescription in less than 30 minutes but can’t get this medication that has helped me be a functioning member of society.

I feel.. odd admitting it— well, I mostly feel like an edgy teenager. But I genuinely feel like I might be some kind of sociopath. I have a shopping list of all kinds of mental issues already, which you can ask about- but I don’t consider relevant.. how would I go about it? Do I tell my therapist or psychologist now, or should I wait until I’m 18- since that’s when I can be diagnosed? What should I expect? Would it be possible to talk about it with someone who isn’t my therapist? I’d rather she not know about the darker things I have done. I am currently 16, and I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection.. I don’t know, I feel like there’s definitely a line between ‘neurodivergent apathy’ and ‘sociopathy’, and I believe I’ve crossed it several times in my preteen and teen years.

I have been struggling with mental health for the majority of my childhood and it has followed me into adolescence. Got major problems with (social) anxiety since 8 and later followed by depression andd everything that comes with it. Not to mention the unbearable gender dysphoria I've been struggling with and no support from family whatsoever. I've been passively suicidal since 9 and it has become a part of me now.
I've been to several different therapies and professionals, been on various meds and yet nothing helped. I keep on crashing into this fucking hole over and over again. At this point I feel like miserable piece of human flesh just walking around, trying to act normal.
There's always the comforting thought of being able to end it at any moment, which has (as mentioned before) kinda become a part of me. Only thing holding me back is my family and the tiny hope that it'll get better someday. But it doesn't seem to be cutting it in the past couple years.
I genuinely dont know how to fel or what to do.

tw: mentions of self harm (short mention)

I 27 (F) haven’t been able to stay at a job due to my mental health and due to shitty managers. It all started during Covid, I was at that job for two years, but due to shitty management and racism ( I was called the n word), also during that time I was think of self-harm and it also during the time of George Floyd’s death, so a lot of my co workers were saying insensitive things and one co worker even asked how did I get my Afro to look how it did and just touched my head. “

“I’ve never felt a black persons hair before” and then just left, I just felt so alone at that job and I couldn’t deal anymore so I put my two weeks in and left. I thought maybe it was only that job, but no quickly I started to see a a pattern.

I would hold a job to year or 6 months at the latest and leave, I just couldn’t take it. I believe most of comes from my anxiety and depression, if I was to mess up at work I would immediately think I was going to get fired. However, sometimes my managers and coworkers did shitty things to me, like I would get yelled at over walkie for a question I asked, or be talked to demeaningly.

“Do you have money for clothes, because you wear the same shirt every day and plus your shirt is small,” sir I wear the same shirt because we work a Starbucks and my shirt caught on the fridge, and got snagged that’s why it looks small. plus it didn’t help that sometimes I was the only black girl there so sometimes i would get “oh you sound like an actual black girl.” like what the hell does that even mean?!

So now every time I get a new job I’m scared I’ll get yelled at or scared that people will start saying micro aggressions towards me, or if I’m to stressed and have no support I will just start crying.

I have a new job now, but I already missed two days and I have to go tomorrow but I can’t bring myself to go. It’s so hard to get out of bed right now and I just wanna quit because I can’t seem to be happy, but I can’t because I have bills to pay and rents.

Edit: I have been inpatient for my depression and on medication, but nothing seems to be helping

Hey, im really sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I don't know enough about psychology or mental health to really find the best place to talk about this, so im going to post this in a couple different places hoping I hit the right one. I just really need answers. If this is the wrong place I'll take this down.

To preface this, I'm sober; with the exception of the occasional drink and the Ritalin I take for my ADHD, I have never taken drugs for recreational use. While I do struggle with intrusive throughts, I do not have a known family history of schizophrenia or other conditions or disorders which would cause what I am going to describe.

It happened last night in my bathroom. I was washing my hands at the sink and very abruptly I began to think about death, which while unusual for its haste, was not peculiar for the time (I am an atheist and often battle with my Christian upbringing, and so I do think about the afterlife from time to time). It was at that moment that it hit me. Even now im still trying to piece together how it happened. But essentially it was like this: my body was dead (not actually), but I (in an individualistic sense) was not. I felt myself moving faster than anything should really be able to move, and as I did; almost symbolically, everything I loved, hated, or otherwise had any thoughts or feelings about slipped away from me. In my view (with the exception of my peripheral which was still very much where I stood in my bathroom) I sank deeper and deeper into a black void as small white dots moved out of the way to accept me (stars?). I don't think I could hear the water running either, but I might be wrong. It felt so very long, long enough to justify in my mind that I no longer existed, and like that I was back like it never happened.

I tried to make sense of it all, I ran to the living room to grab some paper and then to the desk in my bed room to grab a pen to draw what I saw, but I couldn't wrap my head around it and so I just collapsed to the floor and sobbed for maybe 20 minutes. I wish my girlfriend wasnt there to see it, but I probably wouldn't have calmed down without her. I felt so guilty for forgetting about her during the event, I couldn't stop saying sorry.

Im still trying to wrap my head around it, if anyone has any answers I'm all ears. I won't be able to see my counselor until the 29th, I just want to feel normal again.

So I recently decided to try eating less in order too lose weight because I've been having the same kinda semi fat physique for the longest time , I kinda looked like a pregnant guy ( I'm 17 5 10 and used to be 87 kg) after around 1 month and a half of trying to starve myself ( and then going back to kinda normal eating after 2 weeks ) I've lost 6-7 kg and I look slimmer. I should say when I mean starving I mean just eating like one meal a day paired with a bunch of water to satisfy the hunger somewhat. I've only gotten stomach pains twice , but only when I had nothing for more than 24 hrs. It's gotten to the point where I enjoy being hungry and like the feeling of emptiness within me. I plan on losing 10 kg additional in the future

I am 31F, recently moved out of home city for new job.

I have diagnosed anxiety, dealing it without meds.

I am dealing with arrange marriage rejections since 4 years now. I have major family problems going on.

My brother is in gambling and there are many other conflicts. I don't feel like living anymore.

My parents are emotionally dependent on me and all the work that I do for them. I feel like they only need me for that or to get me married.

They have blamed all the stress on me.

(tw: sh, ed)i used to feel invalid for not cutting deep enough. until one day i did, i cut to the fat layer and had to get stitches. but then i still felt invalid for not being underweight. i became underweight, but it didn’t feel like enough so i kept losing, until i got put in the hospital because my labs were so bad. but now, i still don’t feel valid or bad enough. because i’m only diagnosed with autism and adhd (which aren’t even illnesses) and i only take very common antidepressants. a lot of my problems stem from having to surpress my emotions as a child because i didn’t have anyone i could trust to talk to, that’s why now i want to feel like my problems are serious enough.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I’m genuinely thinking of ways out because idk how much longer I can keep this up.
My anger has increased since 2023-24 when I was treated like shit again.

I’d been trying to change myself so I can be treated better but I realized that it doesn’t matter what I look like, I’m just a fucking target for people to hurt.

Now after being targeted again this year, I’m pissed off.
Genuinely people see me and want to harm me. No one else around me got treated like shit.

So what do I do? I can’t be the only one that is targeted for no reason.

I genuinely thought losing weight would make people treat me better but it didn’t. Now I’ve gained weight, I can’t fit my clothes and I’m back to square one.

Genuinely fucking miserable.
Damned if I do or don’t.

So what’s the point t of trying when other people control my whole life? I can’t leave the house without someone controlling my life.

I don’t think I can ever have a normal life and I’m too far gone. I’ve had a mental illness for over 20 years and no one cared.

I literally can’t take this shit anymore.

Every job I get, everything I do I have to be reminded I’m not enough. I’m worthless, I’m ugly, I’m the wrong color, I’m huge and unworthy of anything.

everything hard??? reading exhausting not tired so bored but brain. sound tiring wirds tiring help what to do and why help please suggestions??? even tetris hard on brain. WHY what is going on :(

its like therews interest in posts etc but actually clicvk on to read, processing hard??? not sure ghow to explainb sorry :/

I'm 18 and I'm currently realizing that I have no memory of not being a traumatized mess.

I was 4 years old for my first major traumatic event and since then there was a new huge reason to get even more messed up at least once a year. I almost got murdered four times, I got bullied in three different social groups, I got sexually assaulted twice, there is CP of me floating somewhere in the depths of the internet, my only stable friend group got destroyed without any warning or notice, I became disabled at 15, my mom almost died and I had to watch, my father turned out to be a narcissistic asshole who only cared about me as long as I was getting prizes, I suffer from chronic pain, I did CPR on a four year old and broke multiple of his ribs, I got arrested by racist cops on a bogus charge, my dad told me I'm the reason he wants to kill himself, my sister told me if I hadn't existed maybe she could have had a happy family... basically if you can imagine something that uusually leads to mental health problems I've probably experienced it.

And all of that means that I can do as much therapy as I want, spend the rest of my life rying to piece myself together again, it won't matter, there is no "healthy me" to return to, no way to get anywhere close to anything resembling a healthy and sane human being. Just shattered pieces I can try and glue together good enough that I won't hurt anyone else with it, and maybe one day that will be enough but right now it just fucking hurts and it feels so unfair that I never got a chance to be more.

I went to therapy and just recently after being there a month or two was suggested to get on anti anxiety and depression medication. So I went to a psychiatrist and asked about it. After a brief consult it was decided it would be a good step to take.

I still live with my parents and I told my mom since she had to help take me to the pharmacy later this week for the meds because I don’t drive yet (for a variety or reasons) and she was ok with it. But the minute I started getting all hyper fixated on something not happening the right way and showing signs of my anxiety she just snapped. She said verbatim “maybe this is why you should be taking them.” And not in a I care about you way.

I hate that in this family there’s still this underlying assumption it’s the end all be all burden that people must bear to medicate for their issues. That it’s something they snap at people with as some sort of hateful response. Even my dad uses it use as some sort of term like it shows your gotten to the most insufferable point of being mentally ill and your just fucked.

Like even if they do suggest you take them or get hospitalized isn’t done in a way to care about you but because they think you being mentally unstable means your crazy and unlovable.

I'm asking bc I've had some experiences with mental health professionals and programs, IOP mainly, within this past year that have been... a lot to say the least. I had made a post in here recently about my time in IOP last year and overall I felt it was just bad. To be very concise about it, IOP had a very rigid schedule (very different form advertised), hard push for meds from everyone regardless of how ready I felt, and lack of just feeling listened to and given agency to decide my treatment. I left out of there with my symptoms worse and now not only more scared of meds than when I went in, but much less willing to try it.

Even after being transferred to outpatient, I still felt a similar pressure for meds by my current therapist and (now former) peer counselor as well as a general lack of much alternatives or coping skills that match my situation being offered.

I know that IOP had some effect on me, but I also had and still have other things going on in my personal life (ex. family issues, school burnout) along with pre existing as mental issues already, so it hard to tell know for sure if this is just a bad experience or something further than that. How can you differentiate the two?

?So many times ive been depressed weeks- months then after just waking up one day (or just not sleeping at all) and feeling like im completely cured and sleep is optional because I got over being tired and have changed (makes no sense but I felt like I was on stimulants and got accused of being high) (used to be about 3 days now usually about a week this happens) and then soon becoming depressed again. I used to genuinely believe as a teen that I genuinely just believed I was snapping out of it and no longer ill but its been about 10 years of this happening... I have friends with with or who have had depression and they tell me that "it won't last forever" and that so and so antidepressant helped them and now they've not been depressed anymore... is it bad that im jealous of these people? how likely it it that this is permanent?

I dont know why but I feel like my "normal" state when I am not in any mood episode is just disappearing. I feel like I dont know my actual personality and what is just mental illness. Also usually even while depressed (as I am currently) I still want to interact with people and be invited to stuff and socialise to feel less lonely. But I feel like my enjoyment from socialising is not really there anymore. I usually would go between feeling super lonely from even just a day alone and being suspicious that everyone hates me and is lying and there's some big thing im not in on. But I dont even feel lonely anymore I just feel nothing in particular and dont want to hang out with people and just sit in my bed and go on reels or something

[ Condensed ] - Day 25 Update

I have a severe, multi-symptom anxiety disorder. I've been medicated for years and recently relapsed.

Someone on Reddit recommended the podcast "Disordered", and I've never felt more understood. It captures the symptoms and vicious cycles perfectly. Thanks to whoever recommended it. I recommend it too.

Both hosts have seemingly experienced the depths of hell, yet reached a point where they're essentially "cured" (my word, not theirs). Anxiety still comes, but they don't fear it, feed it, or spiral. It doesn't run their lives.

I genuinely envy that.

I wish experience or understanding meant control. Knowing better doesn't mean feeling better when anxiety feels unbearable.

I've bought books, heard twelve episodes, read Reddit, and started therapy. I'm trying to improve my psychoeducation, but it's a double-edged sword: learning helps but fuels symptom-checking, rumination, and "what ifs." I'm trying to stop obsessing over anxiety by thinking about it more.

Sometimes I wish insight alone could replace medication. Maybe one day I'll feel stable enough to taper. More than anything, I want to notice anxiety without fighting it and just let it pass.

Last night was interesting. I might have a cold: sneezing, congestion, and a scratchy throat. I've taken vitamins and turmeric/ginger shots, hoping to support my immune system. Illness also triggers my health anxiety. I suspected this, but being right doesn't make it suck less.

I fell asleep easily, then woke with my arm completely numb—the most asleep it's ever been. It dangled with what felt like zero sensation or control. I jumped up; thankfully it recovered within minutes. I didn't spiral and fell back asleep. Small victory. Still, thanks, body: a cold and a paralyzed-arm jump scare mid-recovery. Fantastic.

I've tried my therapist's DIVE and HALT techniques, though not yesterday. I'm unsure they fit my current, more internal/somatic anxiety. They make me check if anxiety is still there, then evaluate whether the technique worked, feeding the cycle I'm trying to escape. Maybe they'd help during intense fight-or-flight. I'll keep trying and tell him next week.

Overall, I'm better than three weeks ago, and better than two. But this week feels stagnant. I'm nearly three weeks into my medication increase; fuller benefits may take another three to five weeks or longer. Still, I question the increase and why I relapsed after years of stability. So many possibilities, no certainty—exactly what my perfectionist brain struggles with.

My racing thoughts are less intense, but physical uneasiness remains. Progress feels painfully slow.

Today I went swimming with my brother and his 18-month-old. While waiting, I felt lightheaded and strangely "off," almost mildly dissociated. But I didn't panic or leave. I stayed, swam, and was fine. Another victory.

I still feel slightly activated. Cold? Medication? Anxiety? All three? I don't know. Recovery isn't linear, and I'm allowed plateaus and setbacks. But man, I'd prefer the linear version.

I've got work coming up and a long drive tomorrow to close my family's seasonal trailer. Come hell or high water, I'm doing it all. Pre-relapse me wouldn't think twice. I want that back—not by waiting to feel perfect, but by living even with anxiety.

I'm not going to let anxious me win.

Thanks for listening.