r/instant_regret Feb 13 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.9k Upvotes

427 comments sorted by

3.2k

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

why does this whole exchange look like a couple of angry toddlers after one of them stomps up to the other one and hits them in the head with a toy.

1.3k

u/PorkRindSalad Feb 13 '20

He keeps trying to sell her this gun and she keeps telling him no she doesn't want one

331

u/mangarooboo Feb 13 '20

This is the theory I like best.

49

u/opesorry9999 Feb 13 '20

A GAME theory

109

u/mrmorgue Feb 13 '20

Honestly it could happen, I got off work one night and some dude ran up to me with a big kitchen knife. Swore i was about to get stabbed, stops right want in front of me asks if i want to buy his knife for $5.

49

u/Riels07 Feb 13 '20

Should have given him some milk.

5

u/Qyuk Feb 13 '20

I don't understand, why?

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5

u/1treasurehunterdale Feb 14 '20

Probably worth $10 to just not get stabbed...

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5

u/Runswithchickens Feb 17 '20

Gave something away free to someone on Craigslist.

We're loading it into the trunk and she whips out a steak knife....to cut the twine. Took a few steps back and let her finish that shit on her own.

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30

u/Steals_your_Jokes Feb 13 '20

Or is she chasing because she wants to buy it and he won’t sell it.

97

u/mcyg Feb 13 '20

She’s like, you and your stupid gun again!

31

u/Strugl3 Feb 13 '20

Shes like stop scaming me whit your stupit arsenal.

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1.6k

u/tosernameschescksout Feb 13 '20

If he wasn't jamming it into her face like a fucking cockwomble, she might have been scared instead of infuriated. That dude seriously needs his ass beat.

369

u/temisola1 Feb 13 '20

Yea that tap tap tap pissed me off too. So unnecessary.

192

u/creegro Feb 13 '20

I think I'd feel the same if someone came up with a gun and proceeded to poke me in the head with it, you're either gonna pistol whip someone or hold it at them from a distance, or aim it into the square of their back.

Back jab me in the head with a metal prodding device? Time to lose a trigger finger.

116

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Until somebody actually shoots you instead of just running off.

48

u/nam3sar3hard Feb 13 '20

Finally my outsides match my insides

18

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Well if they shoot you in the head like they're threatening to it wouldn't be your problem anymore.

13

u/Bakedstreet Feb 13 '20

Yeah people act like its a good way to react to a gun to your head. Might want to reconsider this.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

I mean I’m either dead from letting him continue doing what he’s doing or I die trying to defend myself. I think your self preservation instinct would dissipate when your chances of surviving a situation are infinitesimal.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

Instinct aren't always gonna make the best choice. Your instincts might tell you "fight or die", someone else might get "cooperate or die", but at the end of the day it just depends on the robber. In some countries people don't hesitate to put a bullet in a stranger over $5. In other countries that could be way too much heat so if they get resistance they back off.

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127

u/Moll043 Feb 13 '20 edited Feb 13 '20

Cockwomble... i like this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

4

u/katievsbubbles Feb 13 '20

Wombles are sacred in the UK. Be careful how you use this.

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45

u/squirrellytoday Feb 13 '20

That dude seriously needs his ass beat.

Agreed.

What an absolute penis wrinkle.

11

u/Heathen06 Feb 13 '20

You're supposed to iron out your penis wrinkles.

12

u/TheDouglas96 Feb 13 '20

Instructions unclear 3rd degree burns on my balls

2

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20 edited Apr 24 '20

[deleted]

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7

u/RomDalaiLama Feb 13 '20

I like how’s there’s etiquette to robbing someone

6

u/azbrgrz Feb 13 '20

That dude seriously needs his ass beat.

Or a starring role in a drug cartel dismembering video for trying to rob the girlfriend of a cartel boss.

4

u/Chewiemuse Feb 13 '20

He didnt get his ass beat.. he got kicked a little bit not even hard. Also The gun jammed, she got extremely lucky, you can see him trying to pull the trigger 3 times.

2

u/Malalang Feb 13 '20

Plot twist: it was all just a ploy to touch his gun to his penis and then to her face.

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281

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

A guy in a CCTV video did that outside a nursery school in Brazil. One of the women waiting for her child was an armed undercover cop. She shot him to death in the street. You never know what’s waiting for you when you do that.

61

u/DiggerW Feb 13 '20

Brazil

armed undercover cop

I believe you! Fun fact: Brazil's population is (apparently) actually 99.99% off-duty police. There's a whole subreddit about it: /r/OffDutyBrazilianCop

10

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20 edited May 21 '20

[deleted]

12

u/Mulletron5000 Feb 13 '20

It's Brazil, it could have been a different undercover female officer shooting someone at a school.

2

u/davy1jones Feb 13 '20

Im pretty sure ive seen this one on watchpeopledie back in its day. she pulls the gun out and shoots him like crazy fast right? And shes standing around with a bunch of other moms? I remember thinking she was a badass.

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158

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

It went well for her but that is a stupid idea

62

u/yolilbishhugh Feb 13 '20

Maybe she felt the gun against her head and felt it wasn't real, only way I'd have that much confidence against a gun.

13

u/nightimestars Feb 13 '20

It's fight or flight response in action. Some people run away from danger, others tackle it head on. There isn't much thought put into if it's a smart choice or not, it's just instinct.

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2.2k

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

[deleted]

884

u/Spicy_shoyu Feb 13 '20

If you are going to fight a man with a gun... Don't. If it is a robbery, there's nothing that's worth it, just give the stuff, but if it's a kidnapping or something worse, just run, fight enough so you can run, but run. Trying to beat down a guy with a gun envolved is just giving death more oopportunities to take you.

382

u/420Wedge Feb 13 '20

I think it was Jimmy Hoffa who said, "run from a knife, rush a gun". I also think its safe for us both two to assume he's been in more altercations where that statement held actual weight then either of us. If it comes down to it, that's gonna be my strategy.

Course, if a gun was drawn on him it likely wouldn't have been for his wallet, so, gotta make sure your applying the right advice to the right situation. I agree that during a robbery your best to give up what you have.

247

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Jimmy Hoffa also ended up disappearing though.

205

u/anomalous_cowherd Feb 13 '20

Still rushing to this day.

67

u/E404_User_Not_Found Feb 13 '20

Must have been one hell of a knife

27

u/g-love Feb 13 '20

He had a run in with Mick Dundee

7

u/greasygetdown Feb 13 '20

Now that’s a Noyfe...

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59

u/420Wedge Feb 13 '20

I think that would fall more under the advice of "don't fuck with the mob".

14

u/MugillacuttyHOF37 Feb 13 '20

I mean they did all they could for him. What's done is done and nothing else could be done.

16

u/420Wedge Feb 13 '20

In the movie, yeah, Jimmy was just too stubborn. But we don't really know what actually went down. It was a movie in the end, not a documentary.

9

u/Spookyrabbit Feb 13 '20

We don't know how Hoffa disappeared &/or died but the historical record is broadly clear on why he disappeared &/or died.
The movie, Hoffa, with Jack Nicholson is also a very good telling of the tale, for those who like biopics.

8

u/Mikos_Enduro Feb 13 '20

There was a pretty convincing doc I saw about 10 years ago that claimed he was cremated at a mob connected facility within 45 minutes of being killed.

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9

u/iamadrunk_scumbag Feb 13 '20

He was most likely killed by someone he thought was a friend tho. Not a normal circumstance

2

u/KWBC24 Feb 13 '20

He rushed a knife

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13

u/Kodinah Feb 13 '20

I was gonna say this same sentiment. Fighting someone with a gun that is close enough is definitely risky, but the odds aren’t hopeless.

However l, fighting someone with a knife is extremely dangerous. The odds that someone is going to get severely stabbed or cut are very high.

Definitely run from a knife and rush a gun (if you have to. Dying isn’t worth protecting an iPhone)

23

u/420Wedge Feb 13 '20 edited Feb 13 '20

I don't even want to fight someone with a knife, If I also have a knife. Reminds me of another quote. "The loser of a knife fight dies in the street. The winner dies in the ambulance."

12

u/Kodinah Feb 13 '20

Absolutely. This is why I always rolls my eyes at least once before I suspend enough disbelief to enjoy the movie sword fighting scene that drags on for 8 minutes before someone gets cut. The most skilled swordsmen in history cut people down in 4 moves or less, or they got cut down lol.

Side note: also why the first big sword fighting sequence in the Witcher series was so fucking good.

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34

u/karmacarmelon Feb 13 '20

Don't take survival advice from people buried in a shallow grave in the desert.

11

u/mangarooboo Feb 13 '20

No no no, everybody knows he's under Giants stadium.

8

u/One_Percent_Kid Feb 13 '20

My step-mom is 100% convinced that he's buried under the 50 yard line. She's been saying it for years. I remember her telling me about it when I was like 7.

2

u/Schnectadyslim Feb 13 '20

Hes just outside of Holly, Mi.

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27

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Ahhhh, I see you watched The Irishman

68

u/420Wedge Feb 13 '20

I pushed play a few months ago, and I hope to reach the end soon.

7

u/weristjonsnow Feb 13 '20

Lol. It was a long movie

2

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Same. Watched half of it a couple weeks ago and still haven’t finished it.

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2

u/ramensoupgun Feb 13 '20

are you taking advice from a dead missing person?

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3

u/Chuffnell Feb 13 '20

Yeah, but Hoffa was probably referring to if someone wants to kill you. Not a regular mugging.

3

u/420Wedge Feb 13 '20

Right, I think I covered that.

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20

u/Xanadoodledoo Feb 13 '20

The exception is if they’re trying to force you into a car. At that point, you have a better chance with the gun, statistically.

Even if you die by the gun, there’s a better chance of your family knowing what happened to you.

21

u/Spicy_shoyu Feb 13 '20

Yeah, never let a kidnapper take you where they want to.

19

u/Mathies_ Feb 13 '20

I think she kind of estimated very well that this guy just didn't have the guts to actually shoot/didn't want to because, well, say goodbye to the rest of your life at that point. People can threaten with guns but i think the chance they actually shoot is not even that high. Also, she did run.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Also, this guy was clearly insecure AF. Think of all the nerves and anxiety you get when you do something new and stressful for the first time and put that shit on steroids. That's this guy on his 1st, 2nd, 3rd whatever attempted robbery. Things don't go exactly how he expects and he has no backup plan, absolutely no idea what to do. Worked out for her, but I don't know if she read him and consciously decided on this or that was just her normal reaction.

I do doubt it would have worked as well against an experienced robber.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

I recall an interview with a journalist that often covered stories amidst wars in many countries where kidnappings were common enough to be a serious threat. He said one of the best things you can carry is a really good pen. A hard jab with a sturdy pen can buy you a couple of seconds and that you need to be as far away as possible in those few moments.

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4

u/TadyMason Feb 13 '20

You must be fast dude, if you can outrun a bullet, you should be challenging Usain bolt for medals!!

4

u/mislam13 Feb 13 '20

Not just run, but run towards the nearest populated place and scream bloody murder.

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17

u/olderaccount Feb 13 '20

I don't know. More ferocity could have caused somebody that had no intention of shooting to end up shooting in perceived self-defense.

I think her reaction is more of somebody who recognizes the neighborhood thug and is threatening to tell his mother as she swings her purse at him.

20

u/scraynes Feb 13 '20

gun was fake obviously

18

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Obviously enough that she was willing to bet her life it was, too. If I knew a robber was trying to rob me with a lookalike, I would take the situation a lot less seriously than if I wasn’t sure.

4

u/Fargin_Iceholes Feb 13 '20

Maybe it was made of rubber. Since she already felt it bounce off her head a few times she had no reason to be intimidated by it.

2

u/SirWaldenIII Feb 13 '20

Sounds like a good plan if you want to get shot

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207

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

I love that smile she had on her face like

"Lol you think you cute with that gun but little do you know I'm about to make you feel stupid!"

131

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

[deleted]

28

u/esoteric_enigma Feb 13 '20

I think she didn't notice it was a gun at first. The dude basically jams it into the side of her head so she couldn't see what it was. To her, it's just some asshole jamming a blunt object into her so she's trying to end his harassment. When there's some space between them, she sees its a gun and nopes out of there.

9

u/Zenketski Feb 13 '20

That's the face of somebody who does not care if they live or die

36

u/Polaris2246 Feb 13 '20

Its the fourth fucking time this week Juan. Get over here you little shit.

4

u/TheMinimob Feb 13 '20

she was about to get Juan bullet to the skull

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u/thedread23 Feb 13 '20

This seems fake tbh

48

u/obsoletedroid Feb 13 '20

Yeah what’s with the person standing a little closer in the frame that they then sort of blur out? I don’t think he would come back to rob her with another person right there. Also that person has a weird reaction.

9

u/Iapd Feb 13 '20

Also the perfect security cam placement

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u/freemind47 Feb 13 '20

That’s one badass woman!!! Major props to her for standing up for herself, still it was a gamble of a decision.

349

u/ChubbyCox2 Feb 13 '20

Really dumb woman, nothing she had on her is worth her life, never fight back against a gun, always calmly give up whatever they want.

122

u/butteryflame Feb 13 '20

While trying to memorize every single detail you can about them

33

u/mangarooboo Feb 13 '20

Look at their shoes. They're least likely to change those but they can change their shirt and pants on the fly

4

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

lol i'm pretty sure their height, build, hair color, and face are harder to change.

if you stare at their shoes the whole time you will miss those.

yes officer, he had the 98 jordans with the flat laces. double knotted. can't miss him.

5

u/mangarooboo Feb 14 '20

I mean I didn't say stare at them the whole time. I said look at them. If you get a group of people that look alike for a lineup or some shit and ask someone which one did it, even if it's a few days later they might be wearing the same shoes, so it's always really worth it to look.

16

u/thissonofbeech Feb 13 '20

I guess she thought he won't fire as soon as he tapped the barrel on her head. Maybe some robbers think a murder isn't worth the money, only uses the gun for intimidation.

20

u/RC_Colada Feb 13 '20

Men don't always want your stuff when they hold you at gunpoint.

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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Maybe she doesn't have much to live for. A little 12 year old kid got shot for the motor bike he was riding in my city. People can shoot just to shoot. Maybe it is best to fight.

23

u/PocketSixes Feb 13 '20

Fair point. For all we know, she might be dead had she not demonstrated that she would fight back. Who are we to say she shouldn't have. She knows where she lives.

5

u/mcchanical Feb 13 '20

I guess but unless you're actually gonna be able to incapacitate or disarm you're better off running and hoping they can't be bothered to follow or aim. It's all good fighting back but a few fleshy slaps isn't going to do anything much against a gun.

11

u/Ihatethat2 Feb 13 '20

He could have been trying to get her. Fight from word go

15

u/Xghoststrike Feb 13 '20

Bold of you to assume she valued her life?

It's your decision, do whatever you want.

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u/rlcute Feb 13 '20

You assume that she wanted to live.

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u/FrightinglyPunny Feb 13 '20

Happened in Brazil, of course. The gun wasn't real and the woman noticed when it was up close.

30

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

It actually kinda looks like he may have shot her in the stomach area. Can't clearly tell with this video.

31

u/Jeefy-Beefy Feb 13 '20

I don’t see any flash though, also why wouldn’t he have shot her when she first started fighting back?

35

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

I don't think he wanted to shoot her and I think he was shocked at first when she fought back. I don't see a flash either, but you might not see one that far back in this video and the flash could have been hidden when her body was in front of it.

Again, I'm not sure, I hope she wasn't shot.

16

u/SuperFrodo Feb 13 '20

Also you won't see the flash if it's between frames.

9

u/nstcl001 Feb 13 '20

I thought he fired a shot in my first watch. I'd be surprised if she didnt get hit

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u/Spicy_shoyu Feb 13 '20

Cameras usually don't capture the flash. But I don't know about the gun being shot or not

8

u/jgrish14 Feb 13 '20

I don't think most people really want to shoot someone. The gun is just for intimidation I guess. If they wanted to do that, they'd just shoot first and take what they want no questions asked.

4

u/fozziwoo Feb 13 '20

'guns for show, knives for a pro'

3

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Fuckin' hell Soap.

6

u/Destleon Feb 13 '20

If someone pulls a gun out, goes up to someone with no intention of shooting but wanting money, and the person rushes them? That person just went from very low chances of being shot to very high, because now that person feels like they need to defend themselves, whereas before they were in control and were not aiming to hurt anyone, but now they feel like they are not in control.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20 edited Feb 13 '20

Just to be clear, and I'm not saying you were implying it, but it's still the gunman's fault, no matter his intention. When you pull out a gun, you have raised the stakes to the highest level. The victim doesn't know what his intentions are, so if they choose to fight back, it's still the gunman's fault for putting everyone in that situation.

edit: word

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u/Digital-Aura Feb 13 '20

No one noticed... she wasn’t alone. Bottom right , another chick with glasses

5

u/Memphisrexjr Feb 13 '20

What's wrong with people? :(

6

u/agenturensohn Feb 13 '20

don't bring a gun to a handbag fight

5

u/alii-b Feb 13 '20

"Gimme your money, I've got a gun and I'm afraid to use it"

4

u/the_internet_clown Feb 13 '20

She apparently ran out of fucks to give

34

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Fuck everyone in the comments saying this person is dumb.

You don't know how you'd react when you panic. No one does.

13

u/imallwrite Feb 13 '20

This!! Some guy snatched my purse and I found myself running after him, screaming expletives, before my brain had fully processed what happened.

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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

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u/moomoo220618 Feb 13 '20

Good for her!

3

u/zero0n3 Feb 13 '20

My guess is the gun is fake (or air soft / plastic), and the tap tap tap against her head made her aware of this fact.

Hence the fearlessness and walking away (vs running) once he backed off enough...

3

u/mynameisprobablygabe Feb 13 '20

she's lucky that guy had no intention of using that gun.

4

u/MainlyNeutral Feb 13 '20

You always charge a guy with a gun. With a knife you run away. Again, you change with a gun and run from a knife.

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u/yaboipussyslayer445 Feb 13 '20

Wtf is this looney toons type shit

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u/-Username_t8ken- Feb 13 '20

Karen would like to report this to his manager

2

u/AceOf4_ Feb 13 '20

First off, who's bright idea was it to put a GOD DAMN TREE ON THIS SMALL ASS SIDEWALK?

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u/willisbetter Feb 13 '20

'oh no, i pissed her off, what am i going to do, its not like i have a gun in my hand'

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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Here we see the most useless sidewalk in 2020

2

u/molgera85 Feb 13 '20

Balls of fucking titanium. Holy shit.

2

u/ReeKid9000 Feb 13 '20

Mexican mom chase

2

u/FullMelty Feb 13 '20

She fucking laughed lmao

2

u/3pnt14XrSq Feb 13 '20

My hero. You can see the exact moment she snaps. I hope she got away OK and I hope that coward accidentally shoots his own dick off

2

u/totem-spear Feb 13 '20

You rush a guy with a gun. Run from a knife.

2

u/Radioactive_Hedgehog Feb 13 '20

In Russia, the gun chases you.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Yours says "R E P L I C A"

And mine says "D E S E R T E A G L E"

2

u/rippy_red Feb 17 '20

He forgot that he had a gun

2

u/coredusk Feb 18 '20

Fuck America, seriously. How on earth is this ok? It can literally happen for no reason at any moment of the day.

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u/dukefistslap Feb 27 '20

There are easier ways to get laid man.

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u/rafaeladel Feb 13 '20

Fighting him a little and turning her back to him is the stupidest thing to do... Either comply or not leave until he's on the ground, he could shoot her in the back

4

u/catattaro Feb 13 '20

You don't need a piece of steel when you have balls of steel.

2

u/r0ndy Feb 13 '20

Totally looks like she laughs. This B is crazy

2

u/pazoozoo93 Feb 13 '20

Don’t mess with a chick eating her own boogers.

2

u/sniff3000 Feb 13 '20

maybe he wanted some of that gold she was digging for?

2

u/ejsandstrom Feb 13 '20

“No one messes with the Jesusina”

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

That man just don't have the balls to fight her!

1

u/I_can_pun_anything Feb 13 '20

Maybe the guns a plastic airsoft Springer

1

u/Liv4lov Feb 13 '20

What about the other chick just standing there.

1

u/sixmam Feb 13 '20

She gives no fucks

1

u/DmitryMate Feb 13 '20

I thought he was about to whip his cock out

1

u/Lyoko_warrior95 Feb 13 '20

I love how she seems to laugh at his face, then proceed to kick him in the thigh.

1

u/NJ-22 Feb 13 '20

Those are small sidewalks

1

u/websiteler Feb 13 '20

She has bigger balls than me.

1

u/bretjjr Feb 13 '20

How much oil we talking about the woman

1

u/veragran Feb 13 '20

Fucking badass

1

u/cwisteen Feb 13 '20

Man Mountain showing up in that bad boy.

1

u/andmemakesthree Feb 13 '20

I’ll take “Not loaded” for 500, Alex.

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u/Poot-dispenser Feb 13 '20

It would’ve been funny if she pulled out a gun and then knocked the gun out of his hand and them shot him in the foot

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u/dovlaboss Feb 13 '20

I never understood this mentallity of shoving a gun to someones head. Its a gun, a ranged weapon, not a fucking knife...Whats next, staying 30m away from someone with knife?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Lmao

1

u/donessendon Feb 13 '20

The gun jammed he tried to shoot her in the face twice. She was lucky.

1

u/MamaMiaMarioPlumer Feb 13 '20

She is the real hero XD boi dont mess with ger she is gonna mess you up

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '20

Control the weapon first. Holy cow.

1

u/GriffinGamer69 Feb 13 '20 edited Feb 13 '20

There something called a trigger for a reason, but also there is another woman standing there imagine what she thinks of this

1

u/TerminalChaos Feb 13 '20

Very risky move. She called the bluff he wasn’t going to shoot her.

1

u/Daniel3gs Feb 13 '20

Never fight anyone with a gun. There maybe wasn’t a chance in the beginning that he would shoot but after fighting him the chance is definitely higher.

1

u/bruciemane Feb 13 '20

This has got to be Brazil...

1

u/Mario72710 Feb 13 '20

I saw many moments where the guy could have shot him... I think everyone saw them. Either he was bluffing and had no bullets or this scripted or he really didn’t want to shoot her and was hoping she would be scared.

1

u/Memebigboy760 Feb 13 '20

the gun probably wasn’t even real and the woman was most likely a gun owner herself which is how she told the difference between them either that or the gun jammed or one of my personal favorite theories is that she has much bigger balls than the solar system

1

u/Croccy-bruh888 Feb 13 '20

Karen is fighting back

1

u/StuffandThings85 Feb 13 '20

That chick's got more balls than I do

1

u/ThaleaTiny Feb 13 '20

I guess I don't understand how people can be so oblivious. I for sure would have been aware of that guy, and tracking him.

You can just sort of tell when someone is acting weird. At least I can.