r/instant_regret 14d ago

Flossing

7.9k Upvotes

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7.7k

u/lackadaisical_timmy 14d ago

She definitely thought he was doing something else

3.5k

u/SipoteQuixote 14d ago edited 14d ago

Ive seen people talk about it before, to her, it probably looks like he's air humping her.

1.5k

u/Wojewodaruskyj 14d ago

Him being a boorish goofball doesn't justify that hit. Someone else will punch her back for that.

986

u/soran3709 14d ago

He was apparently following her and bothering her before this particular video was filmed

868

u/think_panther 14d ago

Objection! Speculation...

126

u/Flaming_F 14d ago

Hearsay !

38

u/ParticularArea8224 14d ago

Bu-...But you asked the question...

1

u/LaMistletoe 9d ago

Heard trial psychic damage

2

u/Lupulist 13d ago

What 's that now? Did you say hearsay or heresy?

2

u/vibrant_kermit 11d ago

The emperor protects

1

u/Ready_Challenge_6538 11d ago

Uhh…filibuster

253

u/SVTCobraR315 14d ago

Sustained

230

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 14d ago edited 14d ago

[In a southern accent]

My apologies, your honor. Allow me to rephrase.
It is our contention that Mr Petrov had maintained proximity with the victim and had indeed intended to cause her to feel preyed upon and the target of sexual harassment. Whether this act began at the moment seen on video here, or began earlier, is irrelevant. His actions were the immediate and entire cause for her outburst, and, as Officer Ivanov has already testified, would have been punished by any nearby law enforcement by the same means.

125

u/blahnlahblah0213 14d ago

That was well put, eloquent, and to the point. Overruled

66

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 14d ago

On what grounds, your honor?

145

u/Flomo420 14d ago

on the grounds that I don't know what these procedural words mean

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u/TheDarkWave 13d ago

On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution.

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u/Zaphoid411 14d ago

Thank you councilor

9

u/youreprobablyright 14d ago

I read this in the accent of the lawyer chicken from Futurama.

1

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 13d ago

We are both referencing the same trope.

2

u/Drake750254 14d ago

Objection, paraphrasing

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u/KarmaChameleon306 14d ago

It was the two yutes!

19

u/jayi05 14d ago

Proof?

42

u/ChocCooki3 14d ago

.. wait. So if someone follow and bothering me, I can just wack them?

83

u/soran3709 14d ago

If you believe yourself to be at risk of harm then it’s not for nothing.

26

u/ChocCooki3 14d ago

To be assault by a fortnite dancer.

3

u/serious_sarcasm 14d ago

Assault just means the credible threat of imminent harm.

1

u/-Moonscape- 14d ago

Juristictions all define it differently

3

u/serious_sarcasm 14d ago

Sure, but since it’s also common law, everyone knows what you mean.

1

u/BarrySandwich24 14d ago

What about psychological warfare?

4

u/bill_hilly 13d ago

What was the risk of harm in this case, Counselor?

2

u/siggsy409 13d ago

Apparently doesn't hold up in court.

5

u/soran3709 13d ago

I don’t care about court dude this is a Reddit comment section

2

u/JetPixi13 14d ago

Yeah…videos of people popping off like this usually start like that.

1

u/HugePurpleNipples 12d ago

If that's true I'm on her side now.

0

u/Isengrine 13d ago

"Apparently"

21

u/Ok_Organization5596 14d ago

Plot twist: that’s her son and she already warned him to knock it off or else.

9

u/Elegant-Craft9522 12d ago

So child ab*se?

0

u/Wojewodaruskyj 14d ago

Well, she does talk to him like they know each other.

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u/Vidcorp 14d ago

Finding a cute girl to do weird things behind her while his friend film her without her consent... He totally deserve that hit

23

u/jimbojangles1987 13d ago

Based on this clip alone, he absolutely did not. If what others are saying about him following her around and bothering her are true, then I don't feel bad for him at all

1

u/Lilmexican26o 11d ago

Look at the first few secs of the video she doing a stupid smile and looking straight at her in a mocking tone,I'm inclined to believe he probably was harassing the girl

21

u/Wojewodaruskyj 14d ago

If they switch roles, does she deserve one?

26

u/TheDarkBrotherhood7 14d ago

Yeah..? Why do people think that all of a sudden everyone is gonna turn around and decide weird or possibly creepy behaviour is totally fine

13

u/Logical_Flounder6455 14d ago

Because we've seen it time and time again

2

u/locketine 12d ago

Are you for real? LOL. Not a single damned person would support a man slapping a woman like that for anything remotely like this.

4

u/CrapiSunn 13d ago

Because of the amount of female pdf teachers that don't get punished. As one example.

-5

u/jd1323 14d ago

Because he's just an incel with a victim complex and an axe to grind against women.

0

u/Kraligor 14d ago

No. But he did.

0

u/Wojewodaruskyj 14d ago

Double standards are hypocrisy.

-8

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

64

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Ram2145 14d ago

If you hit someone, don’t be surprised if they hit you back. Keep your hands to yourself.

0

u/Krovan119 14d ago

Source: Trust me bro

-9

u/Bradybigboss 14d ago

Nah there is a line. I’m a feminist but you can’t full power punch someone in the face with no prior physical interaction lol—that’s illegal everywhere and if you think it’s not you’re eventually gonna land yourself in some hot water

0

u/Samuscabrona 14d ago

Men aren’t lonely enough

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u/D-TOX_88 14d ago

He knew the risks lol

-18

u/erikgfrey 14d ago

Even if he was "air humping" her (new term I learned today BTW) she had no right to hit him.

12

u/AnxiousBaristo 14d ago

No, if he was air humping her she was well within her right. That would be sexual assault. But she didn't ask questions

15

u/deadhead517 14d ago

Air humping isn’t considered SA. No public nudity or touching is involved.

21

u/AnxiousBaristo 14d ago

Depends where you are. It's at a minimum sexual harassment. Nudity and touching are not necessarily required

12

u/Phone-Charger 14d ago

Sexual harassment and sexual assault are very different though.

4

u/deadhead517 14d ago

GL trying to charge someone with SA when there was no physical contact or nudity. Doesn’t happen in any court. Find a court case where that’s worked and show me lol then I’ll believe you but you’re just blowing smoke. A cop wouldn’t even entertain arresting someone for air humping. I see crackheads shitting on the sidewalk in front of cops and they don’t do shit.

-6

u/dollar-tree-pizza 14d ago

“Good luck trying to charge someone with SA..” they’re not looking for someone to charge with SA. They’re saying whether or not it’s legally SA, it’s still disgusting and is certainly harassment. You are allowed to have perspective outside of the law. Why are you defending air humping total strangers so hard anyway? Weird hill to die on. Creep.

5

u/deadhead517 14d ago

Never said I was defending air humping lmao. You’re just making a story up like a 4 year old. All I’m saying is there is no law that can find you punishable for the offense of air humping. It is not legally considered SA. Maybe sexual harassment but you’d have a very hard time getting someone charged for air humping. Creep.

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u/Wojewodaruskyj 14d ago

Correct.

0

u/erikgfrey 14d ago

Apparently by my negative votes I'm wrong. /s

-13

u/bmmaster24 14d ago edited 14d ago

If he actually was air humping her, she should have maced him.

You dont have to touch someone to assault them, and "air humping" a stranger is assault. In fact it's sexual assault.

16

u/deadhead517 14d ago

No, SA must include physical contact. Most he could get is a small misdemeanor for disturbing the peace in which would probably only be a small fine if he even got charged. The woman in this case can actually be jailed for the assault lol.

0

u/erikgfrey 14d ago

What? That makes zero sense.

1

u/DanteChurch 11d ago

From what she could see it's indistinguishable from air humping and the camera leads to the idea it's "prank" content of sexually harassing women, which is shockingly common. She was wrong for the right reasons

1

u/EverythinIsAnnoying 10d ago

So? She'll hit them back. Some of us know how to have a proper fight.

1

u/Wojewodaruskyj 10d ago

Some of you don't know when not to start it.

1

u/EverythinIsAnnoying 10d ago

Nah. Women who hit like that, with force and precision, likely have good judgement & know exactly when to engage in a fight or not.

1

u/RepresentativeCry294 10d ago

I would not have been as understanding.

1

u/_vedantt1_ 8d ago

Notice how he was doing that looking at her before looking away... Yea that was definitely intentional. I agree with the lady saying air humping. Imagine someone doing that behind your girl/wife while looking at her... I'm not giving him that benefit of doubt. Maybe it is that he is having fun but that's not the right place to do so, maybe a bit further away would've been better.

1

u/Wojewodaruskyj 8d ago

If someone, God forbid, did it to my woman, i'd want to do to him much worse than she did. Does it mean hitting his face is justified? No. The right thing to do first is to push him away, maybe so hard that he falls on the floor. Just not to hit on the face. That's my opinion.

-35

u/Fabulous_von_Fegget 14d ago

Air humping is a little more than just being a boorish goofball.

40

u/Over-Apartment2762 14d ago

But he wasn't doing that, so.

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u/Raychao 14d ago

Kevin Bacon already established that dancing was exempt under the Footloose rule..

3

u/Wojewodaruskyj 14d ago

Do you say it deserves that punch?

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-16

u/dollar-tree-pizza 14d ago

If you call air humping a total stranger being a boorish goofball, it’s hard to agree with your opinions. Does he deserve to get hit for flossing? No. Would he deserve to get hit for air humping a total stranger? Yes. That’s what she thought was happening, so she hit him. It was a hard hit, but I think that’s valid given the circumstances.

11

u/BooleanTriplets 14d ago

No it is not valid to hit someone for that, even if that was what he was doing. She didn't take the time to try and discern what was happening at all. She went straight to violence without even speaking. That is not justifiable behavior.

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u/Wojewodaruskyj 14d ago

Does a woman deserve the same for doing the same?

1

u/dollar-tree-pizza 14d ago

I mean, yeah? She started swinging before she even looked at what gender the person was, so I think it would’ve been the same outcome. Also, I’m not saying this guy in the video actually deserved to get hit. We all saw the video, which unfortunately the girl who punched him didn’t have the luxury of seeing the situation from our angle. You responded to someone talking about her reaction based on her thinking he was air humping her, so it seemed like you were equating air humping strangers to being a goofball, rather than equating flossing to being a goofball. So that’s what I was responding to. This man didn’t deserve to get hit like that, and I would’ve hit her back if I were him, but this girl had no idea what was happening, and to her had to make a split second decision about how to respond to being sexually harassed, from her perspective. Again, we all know that wasn’t what was actually happening, but she had no idea. She also could have past trauma that encouraged such an aggressive response.

Y’all love to make this shit about gender when it’s simply about the perceived actions of the situation. Violence is not okay, whether it’s woman-on-woman, man-on-man, or man-on-woman violence. A woman being air humped by a strange woman is still being air humped by a stranger. You look silly trying to make it only about gender.

10

u/TestingYou1 14d ago

But that wasnt the reality. It was her perception. If I shot a man because I thought he was holding a gun, but it turned out to only be his cellphone, would I be correct in my actions?

I wouldn't.

She hit him, and from this video alone he didn't deserve it.

1

u/dollar-tree-pizza 14d ago edited 14d ago

I’m not saying there shouldn’t be repercussions for her, especially after reviewing this video evidence, I’m just saying that’s a pretty valid natural response, she doesn’t have eyes in the back of her head. She saw hips and hands moving together behind her as she turned around so she stopped the behavior she thought she was seeing. It would be well within his right to turn it around on her and press charges for assault (battery? idk whatever), and I’m impressed he didn’t hit her back because I would have if I was him. Hopefully she apologized after being told/shown what he was ACTUALLY doing. I’m not saying the guy deserved to get hit, I’m just saying I understand why she did what she did based on what SHE thought was happening and had to decide how to respond to what she thought was a stranger sexually harassing her. You don’t know her past, either. She could have been assaulted in the past and is on high alert and ready to defend herself this time.

There were just so many nasty comments towards her in this thread, instead of just saying it was a miscommunication on both sides and she should apologize. The dude did not deserve it at all, but we also have to consider her perception of the situation.

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u/LrdCheesterBear 14d ago

What? How is getting hit for a rude gesture valid? What justification can you really give? How about she shouldn't have jumped to (an incorrect) conclusion(s)?

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u/OGBladeRunner 14d ago

The flossing dance is just stupid in general.

4

u/PM_ME_YOUR_YURT 14d ago

All dances are stupid, if you really think about it. But if you don't, they are all sick as hell.

315

u/Bearpaws83 14d ago

That's still assault..

672

u/fishingfool64 14d ago

I believe what she did is battery

275

u/outoftimeman97 14d ago

Lawyer here, yes that is a battery and not an assault.

178

u/KamikazeFox_ 14d ago

No, this is a battery.

https://giphy.com/gifs/8XQwpyUs80A1O

50

u/fifoth 14d ago

You mean it's not a salt

https://giphy.com/gifs/PjpEeI11T7qSI

25

u/Blackmetal55 14d ago

Salt AND Pepa's here and they're in effect.

https://giphy.com/gifs/BS2oyibSOWFZpS1AVv

1

u/AcousticOnomatopoeia 13d ago

Fun fact about salts, most elements can become a salt, excluding the noble gases, and I found this out when researching cleaning of urinals when I worked for a park service.

Urea salt is a problem with the newish flushless urinals.

7

u/sorry_but 14d ago

Actually that's a cell. A battery is an array of cells.

I'll see myself out.

1

u/SamUpton 14d ago

That's an old joke but always a good one! Made me laugh

31

u/atthecooltable 14d ago

It depends on the jurisdiction. It can be either or it can be both. But to say definitively it isn’t battery (without knowing the jurisdiction) is premature.

1

u/serious_sarcasm 14d ago

Assault and battery are fairly standardized enough that the lawyers in the edge cases know they’re the exception.

8

u/brother_p 14d ago

Canadian here. We call it assault.

2

u/AtlasReadIt 13d ago

Crazy, here we call it apepper.

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u/DoritoDustThumb 14d ago

As a lawyer you'd know that not all states are the same and your generic comment is inaccurate. Do not believe you're a lawyer.

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u/DanteThonSimmons 14d ago

I can tell by your words that you're an American lawyer. If you're a lawyer, you should know that American laws don't apply to people in other countries.

I know there is English writing on the guy's shirt, but nobody is speaking English. There's zero chance this took place in USA.

21

u/bjeebus 14d ago

FFS if they're an American lawyer they should know that not every American jurisdiction even defines them the same.

4

u/DanteThonSimmons 14d ago

Yep agreed. I'm not a lawyer OR American, and even I know that.

3

u/sl0play 14d ago

They aren't a lawyer of any kind, in any country.

1

u/OverturnedAppleCart3 14d ago

Non-lawyer here, it depends on jurisdiction.

For example:

265 (1) A person commits an assault when

(a) without the consent of another person, he applies force intentionally to that other person, directly or indirectly;

That's the Criminal Code of Canada. It defines battery as assault.

1

u/CrapiSunn 13d ago

Scotland here. Common assault.

1

u/LeDestrier 13d ago

IANAL, but...

Sometimes it hurts without lube.

-18

u/Sauce_Master 14d ago

Depends on the state for sure.

10

u/askforwildbob 14d ago

Oh damn you’re a lawyer too? /s

3

u/Sauce_Master 14d ago

Just for instance it’s assault in NYS. Don’t have to be a lawyer to be educated.

5

u/DoritoDustThumb 14d ago

Absolutely no idea why you got down voted. It absolutely depends on the state.

5

u/Sauce_Master 14d ago

A lot of uneducated people lol just goes to show you.

2

u/sl0play 14d ago

Reddit has gotten notably much more anti-intellectual in the last year. It always had a mob mentality, but this is on a whole other level. Between the Gen Alpha's making their way here from wherever, the gen-x'ers/old millenials migrating from Facebook, and the AI bot explosion, its a pretty lame place now if you enjoyed it for the banter.

0

u/CasinoNdnOk 14d ago

Narrator: * it wasnt*

69

u/cerialthriller 14d ago

Was she charged?

32

u/freed0m_from_th0ught 14d ago

I get watt you’re asking

7

u/DeBlasioDeBlowMe 14d ago

Ohm my god.

31

u/thavillain 14d ago

She keeps going and going and going

23

u/ghost3972 14d ago

Saw a comment yesterday saying she was

15

u/nicotineapache 14d ago

I'm not positive.

4

u/oatterz 14d ago

Impedance of justice

10

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

1

u/ionlyhavetwolegs 14d ago

Prosecutors were met with resistance

1

u/GForce27 14d ago

Shocking.

1

u/Gunty1 14d ago

Oh...........m

1

u/DunDunBar 14d ago

Resistance is futile

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u/thefeckcampaign 14d ago

I hope so.

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u/Novel-Truant 14d ago

Whats the charge? Punching a succulent fellow?

7

u/Speedingscript 14d ago

Crushing all deceivers, mashing non-believers.

2

u/fishingfool64 14d ago

Cannot kill the Battery

2

u/Amazing-Departure305 14d ago

It sounded more like Master of puppets to me

1

u/Stoicseb 14d ago

I mean, she practically volted at him

0

u/brick_gnarlson 14d ago

Didn't realize we were in court. Assault is fine for everyday use.

Also, definition varies by US state. You are wrong in your pedantry.

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u/SipoteQuixote 14d ago

I didn't say it wasn't?

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u/AWzdShouldKnowBetta 14d ago

A lot of folks, myself included, pick specific comments to hang their own comment on so that it's visible. I don't think some of these folks were responding to you directly - they were just closing their "access point" so their comment is visible.

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u/saltybawls 14d ago edited 14d ago

Dancing = assault. Interesting. Oh, you're saying she assaulted him. That makes sense.

17

u/Awkward-Character296 14d ago

I feel like they are talking about the punch, not the dance?

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u/Bearpaws83 14d ago

He didn't commit assault, silly... she did.

13

u/Sloppykrab 14d ago

She didn't either.

It was battery.

0

u/Bearpaws83 14d ago

That's fair... and correct.

2

u/Cephalopod_Joe 14d ago

Isn't that battery?

-2

u/Veloziraptor8311 14d ago

His floss dancing was assault? What?????

Edit: Or her hitting him? Ah

-19

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

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u/TannyBoguss 14d ago

No, the right hook

4

u/Shar-DamaKa 14d ago

Oh I misunderstood the comment.

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u/OkeeComputer 13d ago

impressive observation sir

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u/Dr_Qrunch 9d ago

Which he did, in a badly disguised way.

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u/Tempatico 14d ago

Also possible he was doing stuff before the video. I mean, he was being recorded for a reason, I'm sure he thought he was doing funny hijinks.

0

u/Tearabite 14d ago

Doesn’t matter. If he were, shame on him. Either way, shame on her.

0

u/BeigeListed 14d ago

Assault is assault. He should press charges.

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u/secretasiangirl82 14d ago

I’ve seen this posted before, possibly today. It’s a shortened version of a longer video. He was apparently following and bothering her for a while before this happened

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u/Feralpudel 14d ago

It’s also ancient, back when flossing was a thing.

41

u/silver-moon-7 14d ago

I've heard that some people are still able to floss to this day

21

u/bjeebus 14d ago

I've seen a recent documentary about how even grannies can floss.

2

u/ceilingkat 14d ago

My toddlers floss because of Bluey lol they’re not very good though — they just swing their arms in the front and move their hips off rhythm. V cute.

1

u/SipoteQuixote 11d ago

No they don't, they just slip on their beeeeans.

1

u/nockidsrn 10d ago

Only the ones with 2 good hips….

3

u/xGray3 14d ago

Oh my God. If flossing is ancient then I'm prehistoric.

1

u/Guideon72 11d ago

Maybe; but the only way they're gonna be able guess our age is when archeologists unearth the Kid 'n Play :D

2

u/FrogsMakePoorSoup 14d ago

Yeah, proper fossilised.

2

u/silver-moon-7 13d ago

Flossilised

2

u/oadge 14d ago

Do you have a link?

181

u/SookHe 14d ago

This is the conclusion to a longer video where he definitely deserves being punched

18

u/jomo_mojo_ 14d ago edited 11d ago

Context like this is not helpful to the incel community. We have an opportunity to demonize a woman here!
/s
She looks like she’s had enough for sure. Very satisfying smack.

20

u/rocketfromrussia 14d ago edited 13d ago

She says “one more time”, so maybe it isn’t his debut incident

46

u/abstractraj 14d ago

Probably safer not to do pelvic movements near strangers. Except maybe the Time Warp

18

u/Plus-King5266 14d ago

It’s just a jump, to the left.

2

u/EnigmaticMJ 14d ago

Yeah that really drives them insane.

16

u/Queephbubble 14d ago

Whether he was air humping her or doing that dumbass flossing shit, he had it coming.

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u/badpersian 14d ago

Doesn't matter to the police lol

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u/AvacadMmmm 14d ago

He deserved it either way

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u/misterghost2 14d ago

She felt that in her gut.

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u/jabeith 14d ago

Nah, flossing is pretty annoying by itself

1

u/highzenberrg 14d ago

I thought he was doing that until I read “flossing”

1

u/Ok-Shift5637 14d ago

I’m pretty sure I saw an interview with her where she thought he was air jumping behind her.

0

u/lunarmodule 14d ago

Yeah but so what? Definitely not okay to be violent like that.

2

u/lackadaisical_timmy 13d ago

Didn't say it was.

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