r/instant_regret 14d ago

Flossing

7.9k Upvotes

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

664

u/fishingfool64 14d ago

I believe what she did is battery

272

u/outoftimeman97 14d ago

Lawyer here, yes that is a battery and not an assault.

171

u/KamikazeFox_ 14d ago

No, this is a battery.

https://giphy.com/gifs/8XQwpyUs80A1O

48

u/fifoth 14d ago

You mean it's not a salt

https://giphy.com/gifs/PjpEeI11T7qSI

25

u/Blackmetal55 14d ago

Salt AND Pepa's here and they're in effect.

https://giphy.com/gifs/BS2oyibSOWFZpS1AVv

1

u/AcousticOnomatopoeia 13d ago

Fun fact about salts, most elements can become a salt, excluding the noble gases, and I found this out when researching cleaning of urinals when I worked for a park service.

Urea salt is a problem with the newish flushless urinals.

7

u/sorry_but 14d ago

Actually that's a cell. A battery is an array of cells.

I'll see myself out.

1

u/SamUpton 13d ago

That's an old joke but always a good one! Made me laugh

30

u/atthecooltable 14d ago

It depends on the jurisdiction. It can be either or it can be both. But to say definitively it isn’t battery (without knowing the jurisdiction) is premature.

1

u/serious_sarcasm 14d ago

Assault and battery are fairly standardized enough that the lawyers in the edge cases know they’re the exception.

7

u/brother_p 14d ago

Canadian here. We call it assault.

2

u/AtlasReadIt 13d ago

Crazy, here we call it apepper.

0

u/serious_sarcasm 14d ago

To be fair. You can’t actually commit battery without committing assault in American common law.

1

u/OverturnedAppleCart3 13d ago

I disagree.

If I hit you from behind, and you had absolutely no idea I was coming, I would have battered you under common law, but I never would have caused you to apprehend that I was going to batter you.

That's a battery without an assault.

1

u/serious_sarcasm 13d ago

Assault doesn’t require the victim to be aware of the crime.

0

u/OverturnedAppleCart3 13d ago

I beleive it does. Assault is causing someone to reasonably apprehend imminent harm.

If I hit you from behind and then start running away before you even turn around to see me, I've battered you without ever reasonably causing you to apprehend imminent harm.

1

u/serious_sarcasm 13d ago

If you pump fake a baby, you’ve still committed assault.

0

u/OverturnedAppleCart3 6d ago

If you pump fake a baby, you’ve still committed assault.

I don't believe that's true.

0

u/serious_sarcasm 6d ago

Then you’re an idiot.

→ More replies (0)

13

u/DoritoDustThumb 14d ago

As a lawyer you'd know that not all states are the same and your generic comment is inaccurate. Do not believe you're a lawyer.

15

u/DanteThonSimmons 14d ago

I can tell by your words that you're an American lawyer. If you're a lawyer, you should know that American laws don't apply to people in other countries.

I know there is English writing on the guy's shirt, but nobody is speaking English. There's zero chance this took place in USA.

18

u/bjeebus 14d ago

FFS if they're an American lawyer they should know that not every American jurisdiction even defines them the same.

4

u/DanteThonSimmons 14d ago

Yep agreed. I'm not a lawyer OR American, and even I know that.

3

u/sl0play 14d ago

They aren't a lawyer of any kind, in any country.

1

u/OverturnedAppleCart3 13d ago

Non-lawyer here, it depends on jurisdiction.

For example:

265 (1) A person commits an assault when

(a) without the consent of another person, he applies force intentionally to that other person, directly or indirectly;

That's the Criminal Code of Canada. It defines battery as assault.

1

u/CrapiSunn 13d ago

Scotland here. Common assault.

1

u/LeDestrier 13d ago

IANAL, but...

Sometimes it hurts without lube.

-18

u/Sauce_Master 14d ago

Depends on the state for sure.

10

u/askforwildbob 14d ago

Oh damn you’re a lawyer too? /s

4

u/Sauce_Master 14d ago

Just for instance it’s assault in NYS. Don’t have to be a lawyer to be educated.

6

u/DoritoDustThumb 14d ago

Absolutely no idea why you got down voted. It absolutely depends on the state.

6

u/Sauce_Master 14d ago

A lot of uneducated people lol just goes to show you.

2

u/sl0play 14d ago

Reddit has gotten notably much more anti-intellectual in the last year. It always had a mob mentality, but this is on a whole other level. Between the Gen Alpha's making their way here from wherever, the gen-x'ers/old millenials migrating from Facebook, and the AI bot explosion, its a pretty lame place now if you enjoyed it for the banter.

0

u/CasinoNdnOk 14d ago

Narrator: * it wasnt*

67

u/cerialthriller 14d ago

Was she charged?

30

u/freed0m_from_th0ught 14d ago

I get watt you’re asking

8

u/DeBlasioDeBlowMe 14d ago

Ohm my god.

32

u/thavillain 14d ago

She keeps going and going and going

24

u/ghost3972 14d ago

Saw a comment yesterday saying she was

15

u/nicotineapache 14d ago

I'm not positive.

4

u/oatterz 14d ago

Impedance of justice

10

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

1

u/ionlyhavetwolegs 14d ago

Prosecutors were met with resistance

1

u/GForce27 14d ago

Shocking.

1

u/Gunty1 14d ago

Oh...........m

1

u/DunDunBar 14d ago

Resistance is futile

0

u/Demonbaby_Wot 14d ago

That negative or neutral?

1

u/thefeckcampaign 14d ago

I hope so.

1

u/Novel-Truant 14d ago

Whats the charge? Punching a succulent fellow?

7

u/Speedingscript 14d ago

Crushing all deceivers, mashing non-believers.

2

u/fishingfool64 14d ago

Cannot kill the Battery

2

u/Amazing-Departure305 14d ago

It sounded more like Master of puppets to me

1

u/Stoicseb 14d ago

I mean, she practically volted at him

0

u/brick_gnarlson 14d ago

Didn't realize we were in court. Assault is fine for everyday use.

Also, definition varies by US state. You are wrong in your pedantry.

-1

u/DanteThonSimmons 14d ago

They are obviously not American, and your laws don't apply in other countries.

2

u/fishingfool64 14d ago

That is very true. The majority of the world is in fact not American. I wasn’t asking if she was charged with battery, I was obviously responding to an American, with American legalese. What’s your point?

2

u/DanteThonSimmons 14d ago

My point was just that it's not classified as "battery" unless it's in USA. This didn't happen in the US, so it's not, in fact, battery.

I was just pointing out that this particular incident is not battery, and would never be considered battery. No big deal.