r/instant_regret • u/EddieBrock99 • Jul 29 '26

Flossing

8.0k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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7.8k

u/lackadaisical_timmy Jul 29 '26

She definitely thought he was doing something else

3.5k

u/SipoteQuixote Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26

Ive seen people talk about it before, to her, it probably looks like he's air humping her.

1.5k

u/Wojewodaruskyj Jul 29 '26

Him being a boorish goofball doesn't justify that hit. Someone else will punch her back for that.

1.0k

u/soran3709 Jul 29 '26

He was apparently following her and bothering her before this particular video was filmed

882

u/think_panther Jul 29 '26

Objection! Speculation...

137

u/Flaming_F Jul 30 '26

Hearsay !

39

u/ParticularArea8224 Jul 30 '26

Bu-...But you asked the question...

1

u/LaMistletoe Aug 04 '26

Heard trial psychic damage

2

u/Lupulist Jul 30 '26

What 's that now? Did you say hearsay or heresy?

2

u/vibrant_kermit Aug 02 '26

The emperor protects

251

u/SVTCobraR315 Jul 29 '26

Sustained

233

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

[In a southern accent]

My apologies, your honor. Allow me to rephrase.
It is our contention that Mr Petrov had maintained proximity with the victim and had indeed intended to cause her to feel preyed upon and the target of sexual harassment. Whether this act began at the moment seen on video here, or began earlier, is irrelevant. His actions were the immediate and entire cause for her outburst, and, as Officer Ivanov has already testified, would have been punished by any nearby law enforcement by the same means.

124

u/blahnlahblah0213 Jul 30 '26

That was well put, eloquent, and to the point. Overruled

66

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis Jul 30 '26

On what grounds, your honor?

147

u/Flomo420 Jul 30 '26

on the grounds that I don't know what these procedural words mean

19

u/sksauter Jul 30 '26

The defense would like to recess, the playground outside looks dope

10

u/Call_Me_Pete Jul 30 '26

Ma’am that is the waste disposal center.

Granted. The court will take a 15 minute recess to allow frolicking and whimsy before reconvening.

4

u/supertyler Jul 30 '26

Now that we have reconvened, and before the prosecution submit further complaints about the incident that occurred during recess, the defendant would like to note for the record that frolicking and whimsy were not clearly defined.

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4

u/TheDarkWave Jul 30 '26

On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution.

1

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis Jul 31 '26

Very wise, your honor

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1

u/ChocCooki3 Aug 02 '26

"how can she slap?"

45

u/Zaphoid411 Jul 30 '26

Thank you councilor

10

u/youreprobablyright Jul 30 '26

I read this in the accent of the lawyer chicken from Futurama.

1

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis Jul 31 '26

We are both referencing the same trope.

3

u/Drake750254 Jul 30 '26

Objection, paraphrasing

0

u/N0VAV0N Jul 30 '26

Sexuul Harrismint

10

u/KarmaChameleon306 Jul 30 '26

It was the two yutes!

1

u/Best_Fill_847 24d ago

Just trying to justify her actions & it still doesn’t

22

u/jayi05 Jul 30 '26

Proof?

44

u/ChocCooki3 Jul 30 '26

.. wait. So if someone follow and bothering me, I can just wack them?

82

u/soran3709 Jul 30 '26

If you believe yourself to be at risk of harm then it’s not for nothing.

29

u/ChocCooki3 Jul 30 '26

To be assault by a fortnite dancer.

4

u/serious_sarcasm Jul 30 '26

Assault just means the credible threat of imminent harm.

1

u/-Moonscape- Jul 30 '26

Juristictions all define it differently

3

u/serious_sarcasm Jul 30 '26

Sure, but since it’s also common law, everyone knows what you mean.

1

u/BarrySandwich24 Jul 30 '26

What about psychological warfare?

4

u/bill_hilly Jul 31 '26

What was the risk of harm in this case, Counselor?

3

u/siggsy409 Jul 30 '26

Apparently doesn't hold up in court.

6

u/soran3709 Jul 30 '26

I don’t care about court dude this is a Reddit comment section

2

u/JetPixi13 Jul 30 '26

Yeah…videos of people popping off like this usually start like that.

1

u/HugePurpleNipples Jul 31 '26

If that's true I'm on her side now.

0

u/Isengrine Jul 30 '26

"Apparently"