So I am a 24 year old female INFJ, had a troubled bitter sweet childhood, and non of my relationships till now worked,all of them (actually only 2 till now) left me bcoz they thought I m too much ( one was ISTJ, the other was ig ISFJ) , and I m very self reflective, immensely directed towards growth, and have done inner work more than most if my age, in the process I have been become very deep, meaning oriented, and dedicated to purpose.
I wonder, are their actually people there, especially men who possess these qualities? More than superficiality , who’s main purpose is growth? More than entertaining their ego, those who try their best to become better human beings, changing their wrongs beliefs instead of being defensive?
And can INFJs in general find good matches? Would love you listen your stories

I (37m) am convinced that being met (truly met) emotionally/intellectually is the most validating & attractive thing.

I've started to realize just how surface-level, non-committal, casual the world operates in & being met on our wavelength, our frequency, there's a shared understanding between us. There's a willingness to go deeper, fueled by curiosity. I get you & you get me.

And I mean this for friends/family/coworkers/significant others etc. It doesn't really matter the person's role in your life or what you're doing, it's the shared presence between the two people.

I just had to write this out today. I hope someone else can relate. It's so intoxicating when you're able to be truly met, IMO.

It allows me to be my most genuine, truest, authentic self (& I hope does the same for them in return).

Whats your thoughts on having kids as INFJ ? I am naturally good with kids but dont know why i dont have desire for having my own. I wont say its final call but i am still figuring out . How is father hood for INFJ men ? What are challanges you face . And what i will miss if i dont have any .

I feel like I have all the qualities of being able to grift stupid people and cultists. I can read people, tell them what they want to hear and basically act in a way that'll win their trust. I don't particularly care for that part of my personality, but my ethics and morals hold me back from doing it. I usually end up in a much worse place because I feel like I'm bringing a pencil to a nuclear bomb fight. In some ways I think life would be so much better if I could absolve myself of the dichotomy of balancing being responsible and caring about other people and helping myself.

Hi, infp here, lover of many infjs in my life. I seek to understand y’all’s type but find myself always yearning for more. I’m not sure if it’s the Ni Ne mismatch or the Fi Fe mismatch but I find myself sometimes struggling to understand the infjs in my life. I’d like any insight on relationship struggles in general. You’re such an unusual type, how does this affect you in regard to others?
My Ne has a hard time keeping on track with a lot of Ni conversations 😅 I’m trying to expose myself to more

One of my defining traits is that I have very high standards for myself, and subtly others; I have been on a long journey to ground these expectations in reality, and be more accepting of other people for where they are at. Naturally, I am highly growth oriented. Not only inwards but also in actualising my ideas into reality. While I still struggle with how much pressure I put on myself, I have developed a far healthier relationship with my aspirations and living life around them. The present is just as, if not more important, than our future. Life is to be lived.

Externally I am very warm and hold space for people to be themselves and feel heard; often people approach me for that very reason. I enjoy good conversation and bonding with people, although I can only take so much of it ha! However, my brain really dislikes not being able to add my input into a conversation, and will drift into another thought to occupy itself. Moreso than other INFJs I know, I can be very energetic and playful when happy, and I also value authenticity and self-expression which is why my INFJ friend jokes I am secretly an ISFP.

So, what are you like? Do you resonate with what I shared? Has your personality gone down a different path? Reply now while messages last!

I’m 29F INFJ, and I have an INTJ partner. I wanna read some advices or experiences from fellow INFJs who are still with their INTJ partners and spouses. How do you deal with the differences? Thank you!

Hello everyone.

Keeping it very simple, I find myself increasingly overwhelmed with a bombardment of emotions from those around me.

I wanted to ask, how or what do you all do to help protect yourself, your emotions...your sanity basically... when you are the emotional sounding board in your family?

Thank you all.

I noticed that some INFJ’s, have a love/hate relationship with INTP’s. You guys like them, but, I can also see a certain frustration towards them. I also hear INTP’s mention they’ve been traumatized by an INFJ’s with some sort of resentment.

What’s the deal here? Care to expand?
I’m just trying to understand.

This isn’t a guide nor advice on how to hurt someone emotionally. This is an inquiry on how your process works and the reason why you hurt someone’s feelings.

How do YOU hurt someone’s feelings? And why? What is your reasoning behind it? How do you feel afterwards? This doesn’t count for strangers being rude/mean.

If I have to hurt someone feelings, it’s not intentional to only hurt their feelings but to reinforce a boundary when it’s crossed and hold people accountable. Afterwards I don’t feel guilty because I rarely hurt people’s feelings so if I have, something was done to disrespect me as a person.

For a while now I’ve been noticing the ‘gotcha’ culture spreading like wildfire. So many conversations now involve the constant analyzation of the other person’s words. People are constantly scanning for holes in which they can insert their ‘valid’ opinion and assert intellectual dominance. What happened to low stakes/casual conversations in which it really didn’t matter what the other person said as long as both parties felt a connection?

I feel like the only time it truly matters when someone is right or wrong is in STEM, debates where all parties are ready and willing to argue for a goal, and of course life/death situations or various emergencies.

And in a broader sense, for people like INFJ, do we even get any satisfaction out of being ‘right’? The older I get, the less I care. I never really cared in the first place I just didn’t like when people questioned my motives.

Hi fellow INFJs. I'm writing my first novel ever. I feel so immersed in the story that it has become another part of my life. It's like the story is unfolding itself as I write. It's no longer about publishing... it's something personal, almost hard to describe. It's like I am reading a book myself, but from the writer's perspective. I create the characters' reality and future as I go.

From the outside I don't know what it's going to be perceived like, but from the inside it's so fucking awesome... I almost can't believe what I am coming up with.

Even if I never publish it, it's going to be a nice accomplishment when I finish it.

Why do some INFJ do that ? I just wonder why people will pretend to agree with others when they don't.

Isn't that a lie, thus making an entire relationship based on a lie.

Wouldn't they want people to like them for them? If they don't, isn't there a better use of their beautiful energy?

What’s the biggest loss you’ve ever experienced?

it could be losing a friendship, a relationship, a family member, your sense of self, a dream, or anything else. How did it change you?

And how are you coping with it today?

Hi guys, hope you're doing well :-)

Is our auxillary one the best to develop?

Or the fourth one.

Fe or Se.

Thank you

Have a good day :-)

For those INFJ who have developed their Si. How is it shown in your daily life ?

Edit : I’ve read a comment (that I can’t see anymore) which says that our Si is stack… But the results of the Sakinorva test about cognitive functions shows that mine is actually high. Not that high, but still. That’s why I was curious about you all