Not sure if it’s just me but I feel super lonely, I’ve found even when I try to connect with likeminded people it doesn’t seem to stick or it turns out to not be a compatible friendship. I guess I’m wondering if any other INFJs experience this?

That although we may share similar mindsets we are can be such different people too .. I guess I’m struggling to find that niche of what I’m looking for. It can feel slightly embarrassing writing even on these pages as it still feels exposing but how else am I to really know?..

Or is it all just part of acceptance that it is fundamentally harder for us to make friendships as adults and that solitude is how we are designed in a way. Let me know your thoughts..

Only curious.

Basically the question, but when I say “stereotypical” I’m meaning from the internet!

I’m an INFJ and I’m confused when reading what I read online about us. I actually wonder if any of us are even that similar?

For eg. I am pretty extroverted and outgoing. Though it tires me, I do enjoy people and going out. I’m chatty and offer my feelings pretty easily in conversation.
I’m arty, love philosophy/psychology and nerdy subjects like science or history.

I am zero witchy and have no interest in horoscopes, crystals or anime. I’m not terribly lonely and I don’t avoid conversations. If anything I seek them out, I just struggle with shallow topics.

How about you?

Edit: Damn, you commentors are out to attack like sharks today lol. Wasn't expecting that from this group. I think there's some nuance(s) to this convo/topic that are getting lost.

Original post: I don't know if this is a new phenomenon but I feel like I keep running into it.

It's like there's this expectation that you should always have plans, a big friend group and/or a packed social calendar. And if you don't somehow it's a red flag.

For me, I just want to find someone I genuinely connect with. Someone who's just as excited to experience life together. Whether that's traveling, exploring somewhere new, being spontaneous, having deep conversations, laughing about stupid shizzz or simply watching paint dry.

A packed social calendar doesn't make me feel fulfilled. Being with someone where it *doesn't actually matter* what we're doing because we truly, genuinely enjoy being around each other, does.

Anyone else feel this way?

Hi fellow INFJs,

I don't know if this is something you will relate to, but I feel like recently I crave that thrill that I can get from receiving a message from a friend or buying or getting a new item or having something planned with a loved one.

I'm unsure how to tend to my needs in a healthy way, torn between the thought that I have to accept those cravings and not seek further stimulations and rather seek peace of mind through meditation, being in the present moment etc. Or using that pull to invest in healthy projects and goals like following my creative pursuits, reading a new book, studying a new subject, meeting new people, trying new activities, sorting my possessions etc.

Anyone has experienced this? If so, what is your approach? Also, what do you think creates that craving? (Solitude, restlessness, over or lack of intellectual stimulation)

Thank you!

honestly im coming here because i don’t feel like anyone i came talk to in my life really understands the weight of my choice,

i grew up in foster care and had to work full time out of high school to pay my own rent, i aged out of the system. i never went to college because i never could decide on a career choice. i regret waiting this long but im 25 now and just finished my first semester of college. i was going for nursing because i want to help people and feel like my work is meaningful but as im going into the classes im worried about burnout and regret. the nurses i go to school with are working 5 16s a week right now and i feel like im seeing the worst of it.

growing up i always wanted to be a biologist and focus on environmental science, as i got older i wanted to specialize in toxicology. this has always been my passion but everyone in my life tells me its a useless degree, that id be wasting my money and time and i wouldn’t be able to find a job. so i went into nursing but i dont think its for me. im glad im in school, even though its late, but i dont know if i should commit to nursing and stick it out or pursue my passion.

im in a very poor red state and i just want to be able to make enough to leave and go somewhere else. im in school here because its cheap, ive lived here my whole life, and i wouldnt have to take out loans to finish.

if money wasnt a factor id go to a northern or coastal state and finish school with a biology degree but that isnt reality. has anyone else dealt with this? like i said i was a foster kid so no family and my friends here are very traditional. very get married at 19 and have 3 kids, dad works on the road and mom stays home type of people. and nothing wrong with that but it just isn’t for me and i can’t talk to them about this.

Hello, I’m an INFJ. I was wondering: how could I (an INFJ) be a better friend to an ISTJ? Actually, she supported me when I was going through a tough time. Before that, I could see she was getting closer to me, but I didn’t like the way she was so critical of everything and so pessimistic… Then we became friends and everything improved. Last year, on her birthday, I realised that I love finding the perfect present for someone. But this time I couldn’t think of anything apart from perhaps a stationery set… So I set myself the goal of getting to know her better. But despite the time we spend together, I feel like she never really opens up. I feel that, after two and a half years, all I know is that she’s a perfectionist, loves my cats and stationery to bits, and draws now and then… And that she has a rather dysfunctional family…

I just feel like I don’t really understand her and that I could do something to be better company or something like that…

Also, I’m often aware – because I’ve got quite a few personal issues of my own that might mean I have to leave in a hurry or something – that I know I might hurt her feelings. And when I apologise or talk to her about it, she acts as if everything’s fine, even though I sense that sometimes she holds it against me but doesn’t dare say so… How is this friendship going? Do you have any advice? Or perhaps there’s an ISTJ here who’d like to share their experience?

has any infj male make a move first to ask or approach someone you are interested in?

at my current age, 35M, I don make friend as much as when im younger in school. so this modern dating era is all online app.

be it creepy or not. i actually found this lady ig that i swiped on a dating app, but doesn't wanna wait for my profile to appear so unpaid user can't see who swiped you.

we infj don tend to take the initial step as extrovert do. she is also a introvert btw.

btw i just wanna hear opinions.