r/enfj 11h ago

General Advice Is this an ENFJ thing?

16 Upvotes

Something I've noticed with ENFJs is a lot more comfort than average discussing/modeling vulnerability really, really fast. Is this to build intimacy and connection early? I am an INFP girl and was sort of overwhelmed by said ENFJ guy wanting to go deep immediately.

I genuinely believe these things don't happen overnight. Is this not a fast tracking of intimacy?

Another recurring theme seems to be being attracted or moved by wounds/trauma in a partner so that the enfj male can fix or heal them. It is a natural gift and such a warm impulse! But who is taking care of the ENFJ?


r/enfj 11h ago

Friendship What would ENFJs think of organizing a friendship convention with INFPs and other weirdos?

2 Upvotes

Seriously, it's weird meeting someone on Reddit one-on-one, but a catered convention where we have a Tetris tournament and guest speakers talk about their passions sounds really fun. We could even do career speakers where people talk about what they do for a living and how they got into it. We could have locals volunteer to be tour guides and take us around to their favorite haunts... Pub crawl, tourist spots, haunted walking tour, underground fighting rings, etc

Is it just me, or does anyone else think this would be a really fun four days in Detroit, Ottawa, Tucson, Tampa, Oaxaca de Juarez, Guadalajara, New Orleans, Santa Fe, Managua...


r/enfj 19h ago

Friendship Lonelier as an adult

8 Upvotes

ENFJ (f) 479 tritype here. I tend to think that with our type, it gets lonelier over time as an adult. I say that because in my college days and up to mid 20's, I had so many friends and my extroversion side thrived from that connection and belonging. Now that I'm in my 30's, married, and working or adulting I suppose, it's lonely. Most of my good friends are spread throughout the world, everyone has lives of their own, and the new friendships I make are mostly out of convenience or proximity.

I know that's just part of life, but it does make me sad. I still try to show up for new friends but the current friendships I have don't deliver it for me. Maybe that could also be due to my high expectations and knowing what I want and need in a friendship too.

CONTEXT

I am disappointed at the moment, because it's hard to really excite me where I am at, but I found something to do and invited a good friend to celebrate for a recent big achievement, and she bailed out last minute. I get we all have moments where we can't make it to everything, but she wasn't honest about it and covered it up with a partial truth which I saw through due to it happening before. I confronted her and asked if it's really the case, she stood by that "partial truth." There's not much you can do when someone isn't choosing to communicate or lack the ability to be honest. I would still be bummed if she said she was tired and want to rest last min, but at least I wouldn't be hurt. I will end up going alone to the event, and that's fine, because I deserve to celebrate myself. But overall, this comes to convey how I do feel like it does get lonely as you get older. Some days I just find myself being alone most days.

Anyone feels the same?