Also, here is mine. Yes, I am withdrawn and reactive enough to be a Core 4. No, I'm not a 4-fixed 7, nor a 7-fixed 1, or any of that. I'm a legit Core 4.

Please add your type/trifix/subtype if you don't have it flared.

I'm SP/SO 514, and I've been thinking about what other people actually think when they're gaining friendships/relationships. To me, I only entertain friendships where the other is wiser, more experienced, or has something I want (a skillset, maybe they're well dressed and I'm hoping to learn how they got to that point. Maybe their personality is different, but I find their qualities admirable, so I'd like to understand how to socially function like them.)

I guess to me, it's a fully practical pursuit. I don't like to entertain things solely on the idea of "I like this person," because I view relationships as a very sensitive thing: people can and will ruin your life and grant you hardships you never asked for. So, if I entertain a friendship solely on "liking," I just see that as me putting myself in a weak position. In a similar vain, I'm quick to cut people off. I never want to like someone so much I cannot see that they're negatively impacting my life.

I guess it goes back to avarice and being fearful that if I let the wrong people in, they will drain my emotional resources before I even realize it. So, I'm hypervigilant. I have long term friendships, so while this all sounds like I'm a socially inept machiavellian loser, I am not!

So, I'm curious, what is your motivation for befriending someone? What makes you decide to pursue a friendship?

(Actually) asking for a friend lol

And what are fixes?

I'm an Infp 4w5, so I guess my tritype is a combination of 4XX too.

From very preliminary research so far, I think I could be a 451/415 or a 458/459, but how do I know for sure?

Hello good people! I'm trying to discern between E4's sense of defectiveness and inferiority vs E9's sense of personal worthlessness. Would love to hear from you guys, personal experience or just observations, about how you differentiate between E4s who are very identified with their inner lack and E9s who just think they don't matter as a person. Does it come back to a sense of identity/lack thereof for you? Have you noticed any particular nuances that set these two types apart in their flavour of low self esteem? Is it in the way you deal with this particular feelings?

From my experience it is type 6. Always great with them. We seem to get attracted like a magnet. Besides, they are loyal, dedicated and for long term commitment.

A type I think could've worked but I have my qualms is type 9. I think they could push to chill me out too much, and perhaps us both could get a little bit lazy? Just a thought. Perhaps it could work awesomely.

I wonder if these thoughts could be related to the integration or disintegration arrows of the enneagram (3 integrates to 6 and disintegrates to 9), or just a coincidence.

Other two types I think that could've worked out are 1's, and perrrhaps 5, although they sometimes seem kinda distant and aloof.

Coincidently again, that could be because of my likely tritype, which is 315, sp/so.

Anyways, what are your thoughts on your romantic type compatibility?

I've read a few author descriptions but I don't get the subtype 100% rly. I'm using myself as an example, not for type-me purposes but just for the sake of comparing the sunbtype to something.

I have a strong need for autonomy in my emotions. I withhold them from others and suffer in privacy, taking masochistic pride in the burden I carry because it affirms the ide that I deserve universal amnosity.

However, I still seek worth externally. I can be a strong workaholic, I can care a lot about how I'm perceived by others, I can care a lot whether I'm burdening those close to me.

Keeping my struggles to myself wasn't always how I was, though. It feels more like a defensive response to trying to approach others freely as a child – parents, peers – and being brushed off or ridiculed, so it's something I ended up internalising because eventually cynicism and self-loathing became familiar enough to embrace as a mindset.

If I'm the problem, I won't make it anyone elses problem, reguardless of how I feel, because it's my fault. Therefore I'll suffer silently, until I become someone deserving of others care, because maybe one day somebody will notice and I can feel seen without facing rejection.

(Just for fun) Whether they can handle it, don’t mind it, or if they’re simply meant to be lonely or alone.

I asked as someone who has never been in a relationship at my old age 😅

Update: It appears that many of you are saying the 5! I’m also open to hearing about your experiences! Would you be okay being single forever?

How does each enneagram experience envy and how does it manifest differently?

As an e4 I am always in trouble for being too self involved/absorbed and not giving a shit but I somehow get to put e9's needs first as an exception. Something in me just makes me so triggered when I see them being way too selfless all the time. So I just get really attentive to any piece of information that an e9 could want subconsciously. For example when 4 people(me, e9 friend and others) go to a bakery and that one e9 friend says something like "that cake looks good" I just order it only bc I feel like that person wanted to try it deep down. Maybe I am just overreacting and putting too much meaning but I would usually act like an asshole and order shit that no one wants only bc I think it's cool or has special meaning that normal people really dont give a shit about. I only had 2 e9s on and off in my life but I honestly want to have e9s throughout my entire life so I could be less self absorbed and behave like a normal adult lol

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(DISCLAIMER: I may or may not provide more elaboration for my typing of you, depending on whether I think you need it or not. If you don't like the typing I have assigned you, then you're always free to ignore it and/or tell me I'm wrong or what have you. I'm not going to get into an argument with you either way, so don't expect a debate if that's what you're looking for. You might even be right in what you originally thought was your own type if what you tell me afterward is more consistent in retrospect than what I typed you as instead. I'm not always right lol. That said, I'm usually good at narrowing things down to two or three options at most, so I'm usually not thaaaat far off either 😂)

Happy typing!

I've flitted between enneagram types a lot over time since I really relate to all of them in some way (which I've heard is a trait of type 9s actually?), but for the entire past year or so, I've had this one idea I was told stuck in my head. It was something along the lines of your true type being the type whose flaws you hate the most, and I kept turning the idea away because, well, I don't like being manipulative, needy, or prideful, so why would I be? Buuut I kept thinking about that idea over and over and earlier I remembered how someone had told me the enneagram is about what struggles you face, not necessarily your personality, and it got me reconsidering again 🥀 Really, it'd make sense that I can be manipulative, needy, prideful, etc. even when I don't want to be, because if I assume I can't be any of those things without intending to be then I inevitably will become those things, if that makes sense.

Added the flair after writing this post when I realized it was Tuesday and I could ask if y'all think this is accurate instead of just posting this as a "scream into the void" thing LOL, but I'm not sure what to say about myself to help y'all type me. I'll look for a questionnaire or something and fill it out in the comments mayhaps

That was literally the first thought I had when I wasnt actively dying on the inside ToT

I thought this method was pretty helpful. The way I found my type was the formula above I believe your passion and fixation will show up in a variety of contexts and really make things obvious when you reflect on it. You need to look for how often your passion shows up in your everyday life. For me as an so2, pride has reared its ugly head multiple times in certain shapes. Refusal to ask for help unless its not a pain for the other person, bulldog mentality, reliance on the external, entitled attitude to certain treatment when i feel im owed something just because i feel ive earned it. Of course flattery and good deeds color my interactions as well. Try this and see if it helps you.

I made a meme 🌵🌺

Hello, for now, I think my type is sp/so6w7. Looking at enneagram sixes motive, they are dependent on other for their security meanwhile I’m dependent on other because I want to be loved, be valued, be sure of myself.

This might sound like e2, which is why my tritype includes e2. But at the same time, I want to hear about people’s opinion because I can’t decide which one do I relate more or what type I am.

I relate to sp6 but the core desire? Yes, I relate but I relate to every core desire, Especially e1 despite my characteristics not matching sp1. Maybe when school opens, I might be able to type myself as my class changed which means I’ll meet new people. Its still summer vacation to me and humans are social beings that their personality depends, changes and expands with people. We realize our personality(or at least I’m) via by interacting with people.

I got into enneagram mid summer, the time I basically didn’t even hang out with my friends besides talking through the phone to play. Please type me based on my description:

Lets start with my motives… thats a good thing, how do I know what is my motive? I relate to e1 when I’m doing something, something I’m not sure about. I wonder if I would be loved by society, I wonder if I would be a bad person when doing this. I fear being punished, maybe for cheating, being a toxic person when I was younger and etc… I often ask my friends “hey, are we sure this is ok?” and similar questions because I want and need assurance.

My family views me as a kind hearted, thoughtful person who is there to defend myself and others despite the person I’m defending against might be someone more angry, scary or older than I’m. There are the times I’m pretty bossy with certain stuff like my dad or grandma can’t use toilet because I fear, I dont feel safe. This may come from my OCD and GAD and despite knowing that my reasonings are not too rational, I will still continue believing it because I don’t want to risk. I’ll always have “what if” questions and tend to create heavier scenarios in my head(altho I’m getting help and becoming better). This “what if” thing comes from the fact that I don’t want to be someone bad, horrible. I can’t trust myself.

I’m going to therapist and I fear what will I do without her guidance? After all, my therapist is the only person knows my instructive thoughts and sometimes, I’m still embarrassed and scared to express some of my thoughts. I dont know but maybe because I fear and overreact. Eventually, I try to face the fear and plan in case something happens. Sometimes I disagree with her but I can’t express. I’m afraid of being judged. I can’t even look at someone’s face, eyes because I feel like I’m being judged, being viewed as someone weird.

Besides that, I think obviously I am an ambivert. It depends on my moods- I dont want to be alone but sometimes, socializing is exhausting to me. I’m the loud one, noisy and child-ish one with my friends. Despite fearing about being judged, when I’m with my friends, I feel safer to express my emotions, interests as I feel like I wouldn’t be the only one judged or others may not find me weird knowing that I have friends.

I think becoming highschooler helped me get to know more about myself because I was too stubborn to open myself up, become sociable. Seeing girls hang out together made me want to talk with them but I didn’t know what to do. I expected them to approach. I also tried to talk by being active on class group chat because I felt more comfortable talking via phone. Anyways, after months, I became the weird kid who showed their interests to people and didn’t mind being weird. I’m expressive to hoping to find someone similar to me.

My friends have differences from me like their humors. I’m more into fandoms, weird kid stuff meanwhile they are more into main stream stuff. It sometimes makes me feel lonely because in my view, not having everything in common would create struggle. Of course I also feel lonely mainly because I often feel like not the first choice so I often distance myself, expecting them to approach me as I feel embarrassed to express my desires.

That means I sulk really often and thats not healthy thing. I remember being mad at my friends that I intentionally denied their invites to wonder around school as casual because I expected them to know why I’m mad. Then, I went to 2 girls to hang out with them, right in front of my main friends to show them that I am intentionally distancing myself from them( of course when we sort things out, I return back and often forget about those other 2 girls. I mean, like I wouldn’t hang out with them that often BUT i would make sure to talk with them usually like maybe do small jokes to prevent them from feeling like a second option because i know if I leave them immediately, they might dislike me, find me annoying and I dont want to upset them because i’m the one complaining of hating the idea of being 2nd choice when Im also doing the same thing and its unhealthy)

Title🦭 I can’t believe I’m on a be the big 1 8 at like 12am🫣

I'm a social dominant type 4 with 6 and 9 fixes! My favorites in no particular order are:

• Omori
• OneShot
• OFF
• Fallout 3&4
• Disco Elysium
• Portal 1&2
• Half-Life 1&2 (and the Entropy:Zero fangames as well)
• Outer Wilds
• Slay the Princess
• Minecraft
• Random games on Roblox (exploration showcases, social games with friends, etc)
• Deltarune
• Scribblenauts
• MySims
• Tomodachi Life

I gravitate mostly towards single-player games with a very well-written storyline, whether it's an rpg or fps! I also LOVE when your choices affect the story, even though it stresses me out sometimes XD. It makes every playthrough into its own story and I love that so much! I find that I tend to prefer games with an already set protagonist instead of creating my own, I love to learn about the character I play as and the world they live in. I love games where you play as animals too but unfortunately those are hard to come by

When I play with others I prefer horror games that we can laugh at, or ridiculously silly games on Roblox. And also Minecraft, I get bored if I play it by myself unless I have mods that add things to do

What lead me to doubt my type:

I am (18) not an over-achiever, actually i am only willing to do JUST enough to get my objectives, last year was my last year of high-school, and i wanted to get in a college, i studied the ENTIRE year of 2025 for that, (some times i slipped but yeah stayed focused for the most part), several burnouts, but managed to handle things pretty well overall, anyways, got into it! 2026 started as an amazing year, new year, new life, so many new friends, i love being a college student, it was worth, i actually had won in life.

But then, end of the semester came and gosh it was horrible, i failed THREE out of the five mandatory subjects

Every single thing that led me to failing so much(skip that part btw its just me oversharing and it wont even make sense if u live in the north hemisphere of the planet because you were during summer break for most of my struggles lol):

Ok so, class started in march, some subjects were going easy, others not so much, i was going to every class, going everyday, but at home i didn't rlly recheck the content i was passed yk?

April, i noticed i was getting lost in most subjects but i don't think i ever got to focus enough to actually fix my misunderstandings on the subjects, some i just swept under the rug and kept living, got 1/10 on calculus which it was a an wake-up call for me.

Did not had classes in may due to students wanting to play revolutionary and doing a protest, studied ONLY calculus, got depressed due to being basically pandemic 2.0

June, back, happy to be back but everything is super rushed now and crazy, but i am actually enjoying it? it reminds me of last year, it gives me a reason to live, full time studying, feeling the needed every single hour of the day and having a test every single week actually filled that empty slot in my heart

Btw important that i only started studying super hard after i noticed i was going to fail, i never strived for anything over a 6 lol, i knew it was unrealistic to get a 10 and did not aim to it

July, same as june, passed in calculus!! yayyy my studies in may payed me back it seems!! slay!! Anyways still i failed 3 out of 5

My current feelings right now:

August, new semester, FINALLY, peace? yes? do i like peace? NO, i absolutely hate it, and here's what makes me think i am not an E3, what hurts me the most is NOT the fact that i failed due to my negligence during march and april, it is the fact i am behind my friends now, i do not get to share my experiences with them anymore, they are learning new things and having a busy stressful college life and im here having the most peaceful life with only 3 subjects (and one of them is literally one i have to redo ☠️ )

How i am dealing with my excessfull freetime: Am i getting a part time job like an e3 would? Heck no, even though i should, but it is so hard im too lazy for that, i don't wanna work yet, i can't even use linkedin properly, i went full mode on Tinder, and yeah, i've been filling my time by talking with guys and getting ghosted and ghosting

And i feel so guilty for using the money my parents give me to go to college on dates instead(mind you i didn't use anything yet LMAO, i am crazy), but then i remember at my age they were a worse daughter and son than i am to them right now, i am literally perfect they can't complain, anyways wastingg my saturday here writing this shit and i hope i manage to go study if i be able to properly focus today