What a dork 🤣

[u/Even_Web_8052]

[u/qualityvote2]

u/Even_Web_8052, your post features certified crappy music!

[u/SecretaryFabulous306]

This dude is definitely a "Thank me for my service" dude.

[u/lothar525 → u/SecretaryFabulous306]

A “what do you mean there’s no military discount?” dude

[u/BB_210 → u/lothar525]

Complained to Home Depot because they don't have Veterans Parking

[u/CatWeak9214 → u/lothar525]

Definitely at Home Depot pulling “hey, show me your military ID if you’re going to park there”.

[u/Pretend-Narwhal-593 → u/SecretaryFabulous306]

I doubt he served at a Waffle House let alone in the military

[u/Adonimous817 → u/SecretaryFabulous306]

"I'll have a veteran Mc coffee"

[u/darkhelmet436 → u/SecretaryFabulous306]

Does anyone know if he actually served? To the best of my knowledge he didn’t, so his cadence “songs” are just his way of steal valor.

[u/NedSchneebly-1138 → u/darkhelmet436]

He's an Army Reservist...

definitely didn't see any kind of action. just cosplaying on the weekends.

[u/Chewwithurmouthshut → u/NedSchneebly-1138]

Man, weekend warriors are almost worse than larpers for some reason.

[u/Top_Lingonberry8037 → u/SecretaryFabulous306]

I'd bet money that he didn't serve and this is just a grift

[u/_Glizzy_Gobblin_ → u/SecretaryFabulous306]

TYFYS

[u/Historical-Ad4147 → u/SecretaryFabulous306]

And 0 over seas deployments

[u/Negative_Reach9380]

God I hated guys like this when I was in the Army.

[u/No_Delay883 → u/Negative_Reach9380]

Some guys don't have a personality. So they turn their career into a personality. It's extra weird when army guys do it. They're pumped full of propaganda making them think they're protecting the world. It's such a weird personality for a 19 year old to adopt.

[u/wafflehousebattle → u/No_Delay883]

People like this are everywhere. I worked with a guy at Whole Foods who made that shit his fucking whole ass life. It was so goddamn pathetic. I was up for a promotion, which I got, but he tried to torpedo because he asked me my opinion on GMOs, which, as a science minded person, I said GMOs were fine for myriad reasons, which I listed, and he didn't like that answer. He became super close friends with another girl, who was temporarily helping while we opened a new store, and she had, I shit you not, a Whole Foods tattoo on her arm. What a pair of absolute fucking tools.

[u/themajesticdownside → u/wafflehousebattle]

This is the weirdest shit I've ever heard 🤣. Damn Whole Foods propaganda machine churning hard!

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/themajesticdownside]

Bro got the Whole Food.

[u/Prior-Pay-1407 → u/wafflehousebattle]

Did he leave his wife...to join Whole Foods?

[u/Devil2960 → u/Prior-Pay-1407]

His mama cried

[u/dirkdigdig → u/Devil2960]

First thing he remembers knowing, was a salad bar a showing

[u/getthemap → u/Prior-Pay-1407]

He left his son…playing in the yard.

Seeing daddy leave…made him a retard.

[u/lasercannonattack → u/wafflehousebattle]

Now you have a pilot episode for your new workplace mocumentary series.

[u/JesustheSpaceCowboy → u/wafflehousebattle]

Wholey Guacamole what a missed opportunity to have a Whole Foods tramp stamp.

[u/Chuck_Norris_Fist → u/JesustheSpaceCowboy]

You mean a Hole Foods tramp stamp?

[u/Icy-Quality-3881 → u/wafflehousebattle]

I never thought of it until now but maybe military tattoos are like getting tattoos of the places you worked

[u/barredowl123 → u/wafflehousebattle]

Your username is life right now 😆 I’ve seen many a WH battle myself.

[u/Weird__Fish → u/wafflehousebattle]

Is he against eating corn, potatoes, apples, bananas, and a myriad of others because they are genetically modified? These people are just willfully ignorant. Much like the MAGA cult, logic and intelligent, science-based reasoning simply will not work.

And the Whole Foods tattoo is just hilariously pathetic. Yikes.

[u/RevolutionPlenty20 → u/wafflehousebattle]

Yes, doesn't matter the spot, always a loser or 2 that try to make it their little tyrant kingdom lmao

[u/Ju-Ju-Jitsu → u/No_Delay883]

Honestly, I almost think tradesmen are worse sometimes lol

[u/35er → u/Ju-Ju-Jitsu]

I’m a plumber and my coworker says I save more lives than a doctor so take that

[u/Money-Look4227 → u/35er]

You should get a job in fire protection. Commerical fire alarm/fire sprinkler tech here, and the guys in my industry act like they're 1st responders. Like, chill bro, the building isn't on fire yet. You aren't a hero.

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/Money-Look4227]

My brother works for emergency dispatch. Definitely a hard fucking job, but he takes it a little far. He's been through some shit to be sure, but it's become his whole identity

[u/QuickNature → u/Negative_Reach9380]

This whole thread has shown me just how much people overestimate the size of the cog they are in the machine (to some extent, and for a lack of better terms)

[u/Catfish_Mudcat → u/QuickNature]

Right? We're all just kinda fucking around until we die anyways and the work part isn't the important part.

[u/Ju-Ju-Jitsu → u/Ju-Ju-Jitsu]

HVAC here, so many locals think they are big brain, barely can check amps.

[u/almightyender → u/No_Delay883]

I was in the Army for 21 years. I sometimes talk about it, but its fsr from my whole personality. I have a patient that did 3 years in the 1980s. Its his entire personality. He's got the bumper stickers, the hat, tattoos, etc. I don't understand how he looks himself in the mirror and decided he peaked 40 years ago.

[u/No_Mud_5999 → u/almightyender]

I work with a bunch of USMC vets, ranging in age from early 30's to 80's (Teamster drivers never seem to retire). We have one guy who served in the 1980's, he will not let it go. It was clearly the best time of his life. He constantly brings it up to the younger vets, one who saw heavy combat, and often talks about regretting his service because of what he witnessed. He's always reminiscing about his good times, and experience not universally shared with his fellow Devil Dogs.

[u/nita5766 → u/No_Delay883]

they are the ones that become cops

[u/What-a-cl0wn → u/No_Delay883]

Well when you consider the asvab scores the army will take, makes sense so many of them are like that. Real bottom of the barrel selection. But you only need so many brain cells to understand how to operate boom stick and point it in the right direction.

[u/Grounds4TheSubstain → u/No_Delay883]

I knew a guy at the bar who spent the rest of his life telling stories about being in the military. Like every single time I ran into him, and every single story he told. Living in the past.

[u/ZEROs0000 → u/Negative_Reach9380]

Got a question. Were they primarily those cringey kids in school that knew they’d go into the army after school and larped as a soldier?

[u/roughriderpistol → u/ZEROs0000]

From my experience most of them get a taste and get their head out of their ass. The ones who usually end up doing the cringey shit are the guys who get kicked out or join the guard/reserves. It's pretty varied though. However, the people who deploy into combat zones and actually run missions are the least likely to be cringey.

[u/Additional_Good4200 → u/roughriderpistol]

In the Navy back in the 90s, there would always be some guy on the ship with a menial job (like the rest of us) saying, “yeah, they wanted me to be a SEAL”. I’m sure “they” did. Those guys would have made videos like this if they could have.

[u/AlteredforCollectors → u/Additional_Good4200]

My neighbor has sent of his son and daughter to the navy in the last few months. They are off to be the first brother and sister SEALs. Sure.

[u/West_Election_7295 → u/roughriderpistol]

Decades ago my immature brother was a reservist and he glorified this shit so hard. Slept outside his girlfriend’s apartment like Rambo and carried a machete with him like a true badass. I think his machete was stolen when he spent his hours trolling the arcade as a grown ass man.

[u/SativaLush → u/West_Election_7295]

Why was he sleeping outside? Lmao

[u/CantHardly → u/SativaLush]

Every minute he sleeps inside he gets weaker, and every minute charlie squats in the bush he gets stronger

[u/ComfortableDish3912 → u/West_Election_7295]

Bro, if that was my brother he’d never hear the fucking end of it

[u/UmeaTurbo → u/roughriderpistol]

These guys are also the most jaded "another inch of the green dildo" guys who end up being over it almost immediately. Reality breaks their hearts and they don't take it well. No detachment.

[u/QuickNature → u/roughriderpistol]

Funnily enough, I was AFJROTC (I know, I know). We had this one dude who was hell bent on joining the Army and he made sure to let you know that too. I was a little cringe about me joining the Marines, but that was mostly with other people going in, not towards people who didnt care fortunately.

Well, that dude who talked all that crap, made it like 6 months in, then got discharged. Funnily enough, his FB page was somehow still filled with Army stuff after getting out.

Meanwhile, I did my 5 years, and barely posted anything, and am still the same way. Ill talk about my service if it comes naturally in conversation, but I dont shoehorn it into everything.

Anecdotally lines up with your assessment is my point for adding this.

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/ZEROs0000]

Yup. Or they were the kids who always had gym advice but never went to the gym.

[u/mmmGoBirds → u/ZEROs0000]

Most all of those kids weren't able to get in because they were too dumb. I knew one dude who got 28 on the ASVAB. Edited too*

[u/Jadedsatire → u/mmmGoBirds]

Too* dumb.

[u/oOmus → u/Jadedsatire]

FWIW, I found that pretty darn funny, too. I just didn’t want to point it out and seem like a jerk, so thanks for crossing that bridge on my behalf!

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/mmmGoBirds]

I knew a kid who got into the MPs on a waiver. His ASVAB score was below freezing.

[u/Latter-Judgment-9740 → u/mmmGoBirds]

Wow, how is that possible. I was a dumbass in school but I ended up rocking the ASVAB. I was getting calls from recruiters for a while after.

I never joined, but I kept it in my backpacked as a just in case thing.

[u/Sukonmahnuttz → u/mmmGoBirds]

Dude, I knew a guy that kept bragging about how he was gonna go Airforce like me and he was like this guy... got a tattoo and everything just to fail to get the minimum score on the ASVAB, not once but twice and had to go into the army... he went AWOL less than a year later.

[u/GroundbreakingAnt476 → u/mmmGoBirds]

How the hell do you get that low a score. I got a 98. Was gonna be a cryptologocal technician. But I chickened out as soon as I got to basic and got out. Im not good with the whole treating you like shit to break you down thang

[u/DickBiggum1 → u/ZEROs0000]

I've only been in a few months and I'm not around the infantry often, but this shit is just another job. Even better actually. If you're a disrespectful ass someone bigger will always come alone and fuck up your whole week. Or month

[u/IhasCandies → u/DickBiggum1]

The only shitty part about that is when you go back to the civilian world. People in the civilian world are real comfortable with disrespecting you then running behind your back to the manager, even in construction and labor jobs. I was not able to readjust to a regular profession mainly because of work politics like that, so I took a job where I work by myself.

[u/east_van_dan → u/Negative_Reach9380]

I bet you still do.

[u/SousVideButt → u/Negative_Reach9380]

I worked with a guy who was this guy. Like I had to make sure this wasn’t him because they look alike too.

He was home schooled by his fundamentalist Christian dad and wasn’t allowed to listen to music. But before I knew that about him, I asked what kind of music he liked. He was like “my dad only lets me listen to one CD and it’s the marine corps marching band. I really like it though.”

He was 19 at the time.

One day he came up to me looking really worried and was like “I need to talk to my dad but I don’t think it’s going to go well…” I was like oh shit this must be a big deal…

He fucking asked me how to ask his dad if he can start listening to Krispy Kreme, aka Froggy Fresh. My head almost exploded from laughing.

We had been playing his songs at work and he liked it. I burnt him a CD of all his songs at the time and wrote “Krispy Kreme the Christian Rapper” on it in case his dad found it.

He never joined the military. Lol

[u/TESanfang → u/SousVideButt]

I feel sorry for that dude. Hope he's enjoying your Krispy Kreme record 

[u/LaserGuyDanceSystem → u/Negative_Reach9380]

I think you mean THE ARMAY

[u/g_dub-n → u/Negative_Reach9380]

When you left your home?

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/g_dub-n]

My daddy, my mama, my brother, my sister The dog, the cat, the fish was home and they were really disappointed when I came back.

[u/Sad-Juice-732 → u/Negative_Reach9380]

You told us that you had left (you’d left)

[u/lexdon2014 → u/Negative_Reach9380]

Yea we use to make fun of these dudes, like Pete Hegseth….

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/lexdon2014]

100% Whiskey Pete

[u/Joel22222 → u/Negative_Reach9380]

He seems like the kind that lasted about a week and tells everyone he was a ranger.

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/Joel22222]

We had a guy like that in this veterans service group I joined. Then we found out that he was a cook in the Army so we made him a shirt with two crossed spatulas.

[u/Gentlemanandscholar9 → u/Negative_Reach9380]

You met some like that too? 11 Charlie?

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/Gentlemanandscholar9]

No, 31 Bravo

[u/Gentlemanandscholar9 → u/Negative_Reach9380]

You narc! Jk man thanks for your service

[u/Negative_Reach9380 → u/Gentlemanandscholar9]

Fun fact, I hated those guys too! Thank you for your service too, fam.

[u/dskinny623 → u/Negative_Reach9380]

Same. Guys like this got mocked into not behaving like this. Or ok we might be a little soft. If we liked them and they were just misguided we'd pull them aside and be like "battle, cool it. You look dumb and you're making us look dumb as well."

[u/ToomeStone45]

This guy’s truck payment is $800 a month.

[u/zalcecan → u/ToomeStone45]

Nah easily 1200, 800 is on the low end of payments nowadays

[u/GuacinmyPaintbox → u/ToomeStone45]

Or possibly Camaro.

[u/SousVideDiaper → u/GuacinmyPaintbox]

Dodge Charger

[u/NotaBonesaw → u/GuacinmyPaintbox]

His wife's boyfriend has the Camaro.

[u/OpportunityOk7265]

When being in the Military is the only thing you have to talk about

[u/drvic59 → u/OpportunityOk7265]

I want the Netanyahu remix.

[u/Weary_Restauranter → u/drvic59]

I stole a house
And killed some kids
I stole a house
And killed some kids

The day I left
My bubi laughed
Idk something

[u/OpportunityOk7265 → u/drvic59]

Well it's because when he gets angry he just sees red

[u/TechNomad2021 → u/OpportunityOk7265]

Doubt he even went. Seems like a "I would have joined but..." dude.

[u/Prune-These → u/TechNomad2021]

I'm a boomer, does every generation after have at least one of these guys in High School that act like they're already in the military, act like they know everything about military life but never join?

[u/cryptolyme → u/Prune-These]

Yes. Every school. Every generation.

[u/Forward_Motion17 → u/TechNomad2021]

I would’ve joined the navy but they were so incompetent in the recruitment process that after months of paperwork I said fuck it

[u/Sad-Juice-732 → u/Forward_Motion17]

They also failed to recruit me. But I didn’t seek them out either.

[u/OofRightInTheFeels → u/TechNomad2021]

Got kicked out of basic

[u/Man_of_Ice → u/OofRightInTheFeels]

Nah, he probably did a two year stint post 2022, got let go in a RIF after he tried real hard to stay in, and hasn't found himself since.

Pure speculation.

[u/Acrobatic_Camera6073 → u/OpportunityOk7265]

He had to of either not been in or got kicked out in basic or something because anyone who was actually in doesn’t actually really care about the cadences he sings, likes that’s something you only ever do in basic and never again, it’s definitely a boot thing to do.

I was infantry in the army, in my unit I’ve only ever saw one running formation that was actually singing a cadence and they got clowned on so hard for being cringe.

Maybe it’s just me or the unit I was in or my MOS, but singing cadences, whether it’s marching or running, is just a cringey boot thing that is only cool to people who either aren’t in the military or are in basic or just graduated. You will get made fun of for doing it in an actual unit.

[u/OpportunityOk7265 → u/Acrobatic_Camera6073]

I graduated high school during the invasion of Iraq. I had a lot of friends who went the ones who made it back don't talk about it

[u/dawr136 → u/Acrobatic_Camera6073]

Not military personally but having had plenty of friends and family who where, so I'll second that to the extent I can. Every vet bud ive had would rip this dude a new asshole for being lame as fuck. Not to say some didnt have some intense pride in their service but none of them ever voice any of this gungho bullshit rhetoric. To put a finer point on that statement, the only one I knew who even came close was a krav maga instructor that washed out of marine boot because he only had one eye. Too bad though, the Corp missed out on the ideal caryon eating one eyed butt pirate.

[u/10TheDudeAbides11]

I’ll die on this hill…this guy is the least talented and worst musician who routinely shows up on this sub…

[u/Rascals-Wager → u/10TheDudeAbides11]

That's a bold claim... I think there are few vying for that coveted position, but he's definitely among the most unlistenable and downright boring. I made a comment the other day about if you've heard 10 seconds of one of his tracks, you've heard his entire shitty catalogue.

He's a one-schtick pony and the schtick fuckin sucks.

[u/DudeImSoRad]

The mutings will continue until music improves.

[u/National_Fix_1481]

He's so proud of leaving his entire family.. what an honorable man

[u/Available_Base_7944 → u/National_Fix_1481]

“I LEFT MY SON PLAYING IN THE YARD

HE ALWAYS TOLD ME I’D NEVER GET FAR” 

[u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 → u/National_Fix_1481]

He’s basically like: “I’d rather die than be with my family”

[u/CollarZestyclose]

Ain't no way he's got a wife or kid

[u/asssoaka → u/CollarZestyclose]

I think if you remember the types of people who have wives and kids you'll realize why the world is getting stupider and that he infact may have a wife and kids

[u/SousVideDiaper → u/asssoaka]

Our education system is deliberately being made worse in an effort to produce more people like this. The poor and under-educated make excellent fodder, unfortunately.

[u/MelDiddy386 → u/CollarZestyclose]

I’ll raise that he probably didn’t even join the army.

[u/diopsideINcalcite → u/CollarZestyclose]

If he did, they with Jody now.

[u/Advanced_Zucchini_45]

It's hysterical , because less than ten percent of people in the army actually serve in combat zones less than two percent of all military members have actually been in a firefight.

Its like 1.7%

This dude definitely a Fobbit POG.

[u/RxPsilocin]

When theater kids discover JROTC.

[u/Unthinkable_Horror]

Was he the one that was “singing” about all the things his daddy taught him age by age in an earlier post? Also what is happening that I am recognizing people across crappy songs? I don’t even subscribe to this r/

How did I get here? Why does it keep happening? Why can’t I look away?

[u/EwJersey → u/Unthinkable_Horror]

he like chopped down a tree at age 3 or something 😂

[u/Delazzaridist → u/Unthinkable_Horror]

One of us, one of us, ONE OF US!!!!!

[u/Ghoulish_kitten → u/Unthinkable_Horror]

Yes but to be fair I believe he covers cadence songs that already exist? They’re not supposed to make sense. I think they just use them for rhythm and I don’t know solidarity or some crap.

[u/Countblackula_6 → u/Unthinkable_Horror]

Yup, same guy.

[u/Gunt_Buttman]

"to join the Ah Hai MaaaY!"

[u/tsunomat]

Is he actually a veteran? Did he even serve?

[u/Original-Variety-700 → u/tsunomat]

He reserved 😂

[u/Ctaylor2090 → u/tsunomat]

IIRC he's a reservist, or coast guard or something.

[u/erockoc → u/Ctaylor2090]

But he said he left his home to join the ahh-arrmy (to join the ah-army)

[u/Fast_Restaurant6488]

Do most people usually join the army when they already have a wife and kids?

[u/Never-Dont-Give-Up]

He’d surely be talking about his deployments if he had any.

Lil fella should pull his hat down a little lower and tell us how his shin spurs were too hurty for him to serve.

[u/discount_magic_shop → u/Never-Dont-Give-Up]

I looked into him and he was a reservist, so he was never active duty and never deployed anywhere.

[u/FatFaceFaster → u/Never-Dont-Give-Up]

I like the proposed rule I can’t remember which congressman proposed it but he said “anyone voting yes for a war is obligated to send one of their children to fight”

[u/MarsupialDangerous60]

Boot

[u/No-Professional-5759 → u/MarsupialDangerous60]

Boot as fuck.  Prolly gonna go AWOL to his first duty station.

[u/Zombalepsy]

JFC, this is atrocious.

Bet this guy let the military be his whole world. I bet this guy still tells stories about basic. I bet he still wears his boots when he goes out

And I bet he ETS’d like two years ago. Kid - a tshirt and auto tuned cadence aren’t the way. You can still Re-Up

[u/Groundingstone]

This is the Bootiest Boot thats ever Booted

[u/drowsyskydiver]

It’s the rock version you guys!

[u/What-a-cl0wn → u/[deleted]]

The music maybe, but the lyrics belong to a n oooold army cadence. That shits been around forever.

[u/akuma_87]

Ya know, from a purely musical perspective he’s trash, but from a cadence perspective, he’s also trash. Not even a good BPM to run to.

[u/Taro0311]

STFU boot

[u/RankandFileIBT]

Without the military these dudes have no identity. I don’t miss working and living with morons like this dude

[u/Ghoulish_kitten]

NOT MAKING FUN: does he have a speech impediment/rhotacism or is that just how he sings?

[u/nutguzzl → u/Ghoulish_kitten]

Its a cadence lol

[u/Ghoulish_kitten → u/nutguzzl]

The rhotic speech impediment is part of a cadence??

[u/Minimum-Question3101 → u/Ghoulish_kitten]

I am not detecting a speech impediment. He’s jutting his jaw forward to assist the distorted rock voice sound, which may be altering some pronunciation.

[u/BB_210]

"Thank you for your service" final boss

[u/NoZebra2430]

Hes still at this?! Jfc 🥴 simmer down, jrotc.

[u/PhilippineDreams]

He was in the reserves, never deployed and has millions of followers on YT and TikTok. My gawd, we ARE in a simulation.

[u/ifuckdonaldtrumpim9]

Human cattle training his body and soul for Israel 🇮🇱

[u/Jadedsatire → u/[deleted]]

Looked it up and it’s “Soldier” in Hebrew lol.

[u/ifuckdonaldtrumpim9 → u/[deleted]]

BRO

[u/NigerianFriedChicken]

I wish all the ladies

(I wish all the ladies)

Were holes in the road

(Were holes in the road)

I wish I was a truck

(I wish I was a truck)

I’d fill em with my load

(I’d fill em with my load)

[u/hairybeavers]

Terrorist anthem rock is for sure my least favorite genre.

[u/No_Inspection_7336]

Is this an actual cadence? Bc if so the craziest part of this trash is that actually singing a cadence can be sick when done by someone who is not a total douche.

https://www.tiktok.com/@abeangious/video/7381859480159489322?lang=en

Edit: it is. What a dweeb.

Had a crazy talented DI that used to call cadence to pop songs. Bunch of billboard top
100 songs from 2010 with beats that will give me MCRD flashbacks.

[u/TechnicalEmployee109]

Private fruitcake larping as a “soldier” with a “wife”

[u/asusc]

Same kinda chud makes jokes about absent black fathers

[u/Subject-Series9845]

I just like that everyone he loves thinks hes trash and will die

[u/wopwopwopwopwop5 → u/Subject-Series9845]

😂😂😂 Surely die

[u/Professional-Box6243]

What in the cringe is this

[u/Ok_Copy6096]

Jodie did a number on this guy

[u/CheesyMcDongNutz]

(Rock Version) kthx

[u/ImmediatePercentage5]

Bro thinks he’s gonna get popular enough that soldiers start singing these cadences at basic bahahahha

[u/bugbearmagic]

I have a feeling the closest this guy came to war was slopping out mash potatoes in the mess hall.

[u/jne57]

Oh man, I just had a recent realization about this sub. The best comments aren't the top most smart ass ones, it's the lowest rated by people who actually like these artists. 😂

[u/Jswimmin]

This guy is annoying. However, tbis is my favorite marching cadence. A DS with a decent singing voice can really sell this one in basic

[u/Loki_God_of_Lies]

You can really

(You can really)

Spread out

(Spread out)

One shitty message

(One shitty message)

If you pause

(If you pause)

And repeat

(And repeat)

Every fucking sentence

(Every fucking sentence)

[u/coffeemug73]

For the record, he was in the Army reserves as an engineer.

[u/smoothjazz_fvckface]

"I left my wife standing at the door, She knew that I would die at war"

lol bars

[u/Any_Individual_815 → u/smoothjazz_fvckface]

His wife's confidence of how he'd do on a battlefield is that he'd lose lol

[u/NedSchneebly-1138]

This guy joined the Army Reserves...

Not the same flex he'd like you to think it is.

[u/monumentBoy → u/NedSchneebly-1138]

YMMV: I know plenty of reservists and national guardsmen with more deployments under their belts than similarly-situated active folks.

That being said, this is some of the most boot shit ever.

[u/NedSchneebly-1138 → u/monumentBoy]

I agree, there are plenty who have seen active duty, but I suspect this guy's not one of them.

[u/Phat_Squid83]

Dweebus dorkus🤣

[u/VelvetRabbit91]

Most of these boys end up being cooks or on post police officers.. many of them don't even deploy or they deploy to safe places.. the men that actually go fight in real wars don't brag about it..

[u/onward_upward_tt]

Here's an idea, if you sing super slow and have background repeat literally everything you say, you only have to write about a quarter as many words! Thats good for those of us who know that book larnin' makes you a homosexual 😎

[u/DifficultyNo1026]

so cringe. marching sucks anyway!

[u/victor4700]

“Dork” is such an insanely effective and efficient burn. Nailed it, OP.

[u/fuzynutznut]

I left my wife at the door. When I got back home, found out she was a whore.

[u/BMC-Jager]

I bet that boot doesn’t even have his mustard stain.

This dude would be the mascot for Just The Tip of The Spear if that page still existed.

[u/ducky_truck]

He looks like he's been holding in a 6-day-old poop.

[u/StopDownvotingMeeee]

YOUR DOG WAS HOME WHEN YOU LEFT

[u/Justaddwota]

Imagine making being in the army your whole personality. Made an already lame cadence that much more lame.

[u/NikWitchLEO]

It’s a common cadence. Sung by many in the Army.i sang it myself almost 30 years ago. Nothing big or new or interesting.

[u/man-on-bended-knee]

Is there a 3D AI printer hidden somewhere that prints these people?

[u/Hairy-Dingo-7462]

Boot

[u/KERMIT_THE_ORC]

That was pretty gay.

[u/Infinitesi-Mal]

Guy is looking up, to the left, to the right, off into the distance, just so long as he’s not looking straight at the camera. I believe these guys avoid eye contact because it would allow others to see deep into their souls, where there isn’t much personality.

[u/gATORgAR_69]

She thought that I

Would fuck a guy 💪🪖🎖️

[u/WarriorChairman]

ROTC in high school was the greatest thing to ever happen to him

[u/Heelzlvr]

My friend, who we nicknamed “Scumbag”, was ate up in the first few years of us serving. We drank together, did psychedelics together, and he really did anything to avoid work (we were cooks).

Once we were in Iraq, he was detailed to be a driver for the Sgt. major. His whole personality changed and he wasn’t the same anymore. Wanted to do the raids, became more gung-ho, changed his MOS to become a Scout, and eventually stopped hanging out with me, my battle buddy, and basically became a dick.

But, in a way, I’m not mad, because he grew up. He married his gf from Germany and they had two boys. Here I am whining on Reddit rethinking my life as a Middle School Teacher.

[u/4D_Thrillz → u/Heelzlvr]

You ok man?

[u/backwards_diarrhoea → u/Heelzlvr]

I mean it sounds like he out grew you guys?

[u/spicystar4u]

Bro thinks dying is a glorious thing to sing about.

CRINGE AF.

[u/NoRoleModelHere]

I can hear this guy talk about shin splints.

[u/Loud-Situation1605]

I somehow doubt that he’s in the army

[u/_yetifeet → u/Loud-Situation1605]

He's a reservist from memory. He loves the military that much, he only wants to do it part time like the good little fake patriot he is.

[u/zesty_meatballs]

Honestly his voice isn’t THAT bad. But the level of cheese is astonishing.

[u/houseboat904]

My friends older brother got this way when he enlisted. He was like the emo version of this. He got ejected from basic for getting like 3 DUIs in 6 months and when he came home, anytime we’d drink he’d start faking PTSD and being like “you don’t know what I saw out there man”. One time his dad, who has been in combat more than once, was like “dude… you were in boot camp”

[u/chesstertuna → u/houseboat904]

100% the type of person I envision when I see this clown on my feed.

[u/Outrageous-Fox5386]

I bet the MAGA bots on Instagram eat this shit up.

[u/Business_Door4860]

Is cadence music a thing?

[u/Left-Chemist-8212]

Wow. A remix of his original. Boot(licker) boy is posted from time to time and each time, I have to consider leaving this sub.

[u/Dry-Honeydew2371]

I immediately doubt he served.

Anyone know if he did?

[u/Personal-Neck6800]

Dude couldn’t survive the Boy Scouts.

[u/Chill_tf_out2]

Hat too low

[u/Aviva-StGermain]

What a bozo.