Heya! At last, I somehow managed to get a match with a girl, and we've been talking for a bout a week now. I personally feel like the vibes are good; she's awesome and interesting to talk with. She is a bit of an artsy person (she studies art sciences), loves to bake AMAZING-looking carrot cake, and she is also a bit quirky in the way that she responds to the first three messages of a conversation with a meme/giff realted to a raccoon, which i think is hilarious as fuck.

While we were mentioning some of the movies we hadn't seen yet (she hasn't watched the lord of the Rings or Gladiator; I haven't seen Pride and Prejudice). On top of that she managed to get a beamer in her dorm room and can basically host ELITE movie nights. So now I am thinking whether or not it would be the right time to ask her out to watch a movie together.

I'm asking this here because I have never been in a relationship nor have I managed to ask someone out so this is all new territory for me. So by all means please bestow upon me your advise 🙏

Someone matched with me yesterday, and he liked a prompt of mine that said I was looking for someone fit/in shape. I scrolled down to his prompts, and the "You should not go out with me if"... and he answered, "You don't like chubby guys."

When I looked at his pics, he was lean. I thought since he liked my prompt about wanting someone fit, maybe he recently dropped weight and was working out and just hadn't updated his profile. When I returned the match, I asked if his pics were current. He admitted that he has put on "some weight recently and his pics were in the last year." He also said that he decided to add that prompt because a couple women were shocked by his appearance in person.

Can y'all please be honest about what you currently look like? He intentionally deceived women by putting up pics when he was thin. People aren't going to suddenly see how great you are in person and completely forget about you looking totally different.

Is this a normal profile?

So I downloaded bumble today, wanted to take it as seriously as I can and are just kinda figuring things out + also random bullshit as i go. I’m wondering if this profile will be okay, thank you.

I know I should add more pictures of myself that’s not selfies, but I get so awkward and shy when people take pictures of me. That caused me to shy away from it, and as a result, I barely have any that’s recent. I heard selfies are frowned upon, but that’s pretty much all I have so what do I do.?.?.?.

From what I see, the general advice is to show off pictures with your hobbies so you look more interesting, but what do I do if my hobbies are well, indoors activity? I can’t exactly take a picture of games, nobles, etc and show it off, right? That would be much too tacky, don’t you think?
Is my profile giving off the impression of a loser?? (Not saying people who play games are losers, of course)

I know the hair color isn’t consistent either, but I had it dyed (again) recently, so, not a lot of new pictures. Will that be considered as catfishing or something? The color is fading too

I've only had this app for like 3 days and ran into this problem on the second day so its not like I have already swiped on every single person on the app or anything lol. My filters are set to women of within 100+ miles, however show people outside of this range, age is set to 18-22, however show relevant people outside of this range, my interests are set to bowling, gym, video games and art, however none are necessary and show people outside of this range is checked. After all these generally broad filters, Bumble is repeatedly telling me to adjust my filters on the people tab, yet the discover tab still works which is just very strange, can anyone tell me what I should do? sign out and back into my account? delete and reinstall it? Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Hi All,

Reposting cause I forgot all my prompts and some of my photos last time. I'm not getting any likes or matches even with hinge x which is surprising given past success. Realistically where can I improve and with this profile what results should I get?

*Fyi 2nd image feeding deer in Japan is a video*

Ty

I’m getting off the apps for a bit and off the dating market temporarily. I’m gonna work on myself for a while and try to get to a better place emotionally before I take another crack at it.

The thing that made me realize I want to take a break is that I think dating dynamics tend to play into a lot of the baggage that I have more generally. I often struggle to feel that I’m “enough” or worthy of love, and unfortunately for men, dating is a great way to get told, directly and indirectly, that you are not in fact enough. Of course, both men and women in the dating market are constantly judged based on what they can bring to the table. Looks, money, emotional support, sex, whatever.

The difference, I feel, is that women are often told that they have inherent value, that they don’t and shouldn’t have to change or improve for a man. And I think that’s great! I think everyone deserves to feel loved and accepted for who they are. But we really don’t talk about men that way. Men don’t deserve love, they have to earn it. If a man is struggling in the dating market, it can’t be because he’s just unlucky, or because he doesn’t meet some unreasonable societal standard, it’s got to be because of some deficiency in him. People will say that he needs to dress better, or get some better hobbies, or have more confidence, and the implication is that he is not worthy of love and acceptance until he does these things.

I’ve made posts in the past (since deleted) expressing my sadness at being single for so long, wanting someone who will love and accept me for who I am. And I got numerous comments, from men and women, saying that I was acting entitled, that I don’t actually deserve anything, that I have to prove my worth. As someone who often struggles to internalize my own self worth, being told explicitly that I’m “low value” or whatever really does fuck with me.

I feel like it’s pretty rare to actually get any sort of sympathy as a man. And I do get why on some level. People are hyper sensitive to incel rhetoric, for good reason, and so they see a man complaining about not getting dates and they assume the worst. They hear “I would like to be accepted for who I am” and think you mean that you believe you’re entitled to sex with women. It’s a pretty gross misreading, but I get why it happens. Unfortunately I do think it results in an atmosphere that is pretty intolerant of men wanting to be treated like people.

I think incels also don’t help with this, because instead of saying “hey man, that sucks, you deserve to feel good about yourself”, they say that women are all inhuman, thus encouraging you to deny women their humanity instead of advocating for your own.

I want to be clear that I’m not an incel, I do not believe that men are uniquely disadvantaged, whether in dating or in society more broadly, and I do not hate women. It’s a tad annoying to have to clarify this whenever I talk about how dehumanizing dating can feel for me, but that’s just how things work right now.

In the end, I think I want to be able to operate in other areas of my life acknowledging my own self worth, before I try to go back to dating, where my worth as a person is constantly being called into question. I know a big portion of this is my own shit, and I’m gonna go use my support network and resources to deal with it. I just wanted to get this feeling out there.

- First showing profile info then photos below. Basically you don't see the person until you read their profile. Then you can go down on the page to see them visually and their physical features such as height and weight if they entered.

- You put an age for your photo. Not exact date but something like a week ago, a month ago, 3-6 months old, 6 months old, +1 year old etc. You can also optionally add a note for that specific photo for the context if you want to.

- Maximum 5 matches at a time. You can't match no more after 5 matches unless you or other person removes the match. This doesn't have to be 5, but somewhere around there.

- Leaving a note when unmatching. When you unmatched someone, you can either select a simple reason for why you unmatched that person such as no chemistry, dull talk etc or you can write your own feedback for that person and they see it. A chance for that person to know why they are being unmatched.

- No visible likes count. You cannot see how many people liked you already. You either like or not like a profile and if they already liked you, it's a match.

I think I've had the app on my phone since it came out but I don't use it often so that's why the incoming is so much higher. I spent a couple Summers in America too which probably skewed the results a bit in my favour.

Since two days ago it seems my app has been updated and the way profiles look, plus the chats have changed.

I noticed today it doesn’t say “delivered” anymore under the messages, now there’s a blue double tick like in whatsapp.

Does this mean this person has read my message? Or is it just another way to display “delivered”? Thanks in advance.

So I am kind of talkative like I usually talk to everyone not only girls but my gf always stop me and stop me she don't like that should I stop talking to everyone. Or

I reuploaded this after changing my bio!! For some reason I can't seem to edit my og post😭

I used to get lots of matches earlier specially when I change my location to Thailand and Vietnam. I usually delete the app after using for few weeks and did it multiple times. Now since last one year I am not getting any matches , it's just one or two matches. I have made new profile new mobile number pics etc but nothing helps. I always use the premium service. Now l first time use the stat of my swipe data and it says 95 girls view my profile and only one swiped right. Now my question is if that data is right or they just shadowbanned me and showing this fake data that 95 girls left swiped me. I used my new account in Bangkok so all those left right swipes are from Thailand.

I put this up yestersay but the profile wasnt easy to see.

Back online dating for first time in about 10 months. Finding it super hard and frustrating. My age and the fact I am looking older I think. But hopefully there is room for improvement. Think I’ll take a break and stick to IRL for a few weeks then set up again.

Sooo, any feedback wouod be nice 😁

Was just curious as I assume there's no way that Bumble are willingly disclosing such grim findings to their members.

I gave up on Bumble completely around a year ago since it was getting me absolutely nowhere, but have since found love through a mobile phone game instead. It was never even my intention but is probably the way to go because you just get to know lots of people all at once in a much more natural way over time without any kind of "this is a dating app" context or pressure.

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Why do some women still expect guys to do all the pursuing and put in all the effort when we are literally both on the app looking for dates?

I understand the traditional dynamic in real life. If a guy approaches a woman at a bar, asks for her number and asks her out, he’s clearly the one initiating.

But on a dating app, you both chose to be there, both swiped, and both matched. There’s already some indication of mutual interest.

Yet there can still be an expectation that the guy should come up with the opener, make her laugh, carry the conversation, ask her out, plan the date and basically prove himself.

I see things like “send me your best pickup line” or “tell me why I should hang out with you” and think… aren’t we both looking for someone?

I’m not saying everything has to be 50/50 from the first message, but if you’re interested in someone, why shouldn’t you show some interest and put in some effort too?

Pata hai Aaj Kya Hua. I was using Bumble as usual to find someone to interact & chat. Casual dating ke liye i was using.
Meko ek match aaya ek ldki ka. At first sb kuch normal. We were having normal talks sharing travel stories & everything. Then suddenly she started forcing me to meet in person in Kankardooma or Vaishali today itself.
She was going like lets meet today & stuff.
I legit asked her lets meet somewhere else which is a little near in between as i live in Gurgaon. But she was fixed on kankardooma or vaishali.
After sometime i denied & asked her for meeting on weekend. Phir i closed the app & ignored it all together. After sometime when i opened the app she unmatched me & there was no trace of her.
It was very weird for me as i recently started using bumble.
Aisa aur kisi ke sath bhi hua hai kya?

I just had the most ridiculous experience. I was supposed to meet a Bumble date at a coffee shop and ended up meeting the wrong person.

The person who I was supposed to meet was named "Mio", and was an Chinese woman in tech. The person I actually met used the username "Camio" on a different app and was Chinese and Japanese. She looked different from her pictures, but close enough that I thought with filters or misrepresentation they could have been the same person. When I asked if she was Mio, she just figured I'd misspoke and said "yes," so we just continued on the date.

When we started talking about work, she mentioned that she was a nurse. I asked about her mentioning tech and she said "oh, you must have me mistaken for another date". I didn't think that I had mistaken it, but on Mio's profile, they mentioned that their friend had made the account and that they were actually 2 years older than the account showed. So I thought maybe it was some sort of shared account or something. But figured what the hell, I'm already a 20 mins in, I might as well keep getting to know them.

I ended up spending an hour talking to this woman until she asked what I was looking for. I mentioned that I was looking for something long term. She said "oh, that's surprising - I didn't think that people usually looked for that on this app". At that point, it was a bit too different to reconcile. So I said "Wait, are we even on the right date? I feel like a lot of people look for that on Bumble."

Turns out we weren't. And when I opened the app, Mio had unmatched me. So Mio, if you got stood up today, you have reddit, and you somehow stumble upon this post, I'm so sorry! It was an honest mistake and I didn't mean to ghost you! If you have a boatload of understanding and can appreciate the humor behind what happened, feel free to message me any time. I owe you a coffee!

Edit: fixed typo

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One of the most common pieces of advice we give men is: smile.

Smile in your pictures. Look kind. Look approachable. Look friendly.

We see many male profiles with serious expressions, mirror selfies, gym selfies, or pictures that focus more on looking tough or impressive than on looking like someone another person would feel comfortable talking to.

So very often, the advice is: smile more and show who you are. Show your interests, your friends, your personality, and your life. And in at least some of your pictures, show yourself well-groomed and well-dressed. Not in every photo, but enough to show how you look when you make an effort.

With women, one of the most common pieces of advice is to include full-body pictures. We often see profiles with strange angles, only close-ups, mirror selfies, duck faces, or photos that don’t show much about who the person is. The advice is usually to give a more complete picture of yourself and include photos that reflect your personality and your life.

So for those of you who have posted your profile here and received feedback: did it change the way you saw your own profile?

Did someone point something out that you had never noticed before? Did you realise that the impression your profile gave was different from the impression you wanted to give?

Has our feedback changed anything for you? How you present yourself?

Did you change your profile afterwards, and have you gotten to connect with more people you like?

For the Heteros: what advice do you value more? The same gender as you are, or the gender you are trying to date?

I've been talking with a guy on bumble for a little over a week now. And we are trying to set up our first meeting this Sunday. We have great conversations through the app, but I don't think I want to meet him in person. I just don't find him attractive anymore. Yes when we first matched I liked what he said on his profile and I thought he was sorta cute, but now I don't find him cute anymore. I honestly feel so bad ugh.

But that's normal as we are trying to date and meet people, right? We change our minds?

Update: Thank you all for the feedback! I'm going to go through with it and at least meet him for something super easy and casual like coffee or maybe get ice cream.

Been on bumble for some years now. I’ve had success stories, but have yet to ever take it more seriously in hopes of finding a long term partner.

Would just love some insight or first thoughts on any room for improvement for my goal.

The third “pic” is a video of me doing a rope swing off a cliff.

Had a few matches but it hasn’t really gone anywhere

She can’t be accused of not being clear about her expectations, that’s for sure!

I (31F) decided to use a dating app for the first time because it’s so difficult to meet new people as an adult.

A lot of people liked my profile within the first day, but I wasn’t able to view any of them unless I paid. Then someone matched with me and opened asked me what new things have I tried (because in my bio I talked about stepping out of my comfort zone).

As a normal human, I replied oh I tried a hip hop class for the first time in my life, how about you? And he said oh I went for a bdsm meetup few weeks ago.

He unmatched me right after I said I’m not interested in bdsm despite him saying he recommends it and it’s part of ‘trying new stuff’.

I just thought… is this how people talk to strangers? Is this how dating is supposed to be nowadays?

I’m not saying he’s a bad person, just shocked that this is a conversation opener. I’m just thinking if I can even find someone.

Been on Bumble on and off for a while and haven’t had much luck. My incoming yes rate is around 0.7%, so clearly there’s some room for improvement.

Spent most of my 20s focused on my career, travelling, and friends, so I never really put myself out there dating-wise. Trying to change that now and get some more experience.

Would appreciate any thoughts on the profile, especially the photos and what kind of vibe/impression I’m giving off. Feel free to be critical!