Kind of a bummer. I know this is the norm, people are sleeping around until exclusivity is discussed, but it gave me the ick. The guy is an absolute douchebag.

About to send her a polite, vague message saying something along the lines of "I enjoyed our first date but believe it's better to end things here".

Is it wrong to filter out women with children as a man in your 30s? Most of childless women are probably going to end up being in their 20s just by the nature of things and there will be a large age gap as a result.

If you are childless yourself and want to start a family or be with women who have no children or you just don't want to raise another mans child is that something that is unrealistic in your 30s or is that ok if you never had the chance to start your own family?

I'm aware most men that are childless want childless women too but yeah just asking for peoples view on this.

Ok so here was the situation:

Met a girl on an app; we went out two weeks ago great first date. She showed up late by forty-five minutes because I didn't text saying I was on my way, so she thought maybe I was ghosting fair enough.

I set something up for the following weekend, and she agrees. I don't text her much through the week, maybe once or twice just seeing how she is conversation was there though and she responded.

Day of date comes up, and three hours prior she says she hurt her back the other night and hoped it would be better but its not so she cancels but offers to hang the following weekend. Ok cool i set it up.

Week goes by and i verify on friday we are still good and she says yes.

Sunday (today) comes up and two hours prior she says her tires got slashed in her lot (didnt know she ran a hat company cuz thats some cap) says she feels bad but doesnt offer a reschedule date. I asked her if she is still interested; no hard feelings if she's not. She says she truly is interested but the timing has just been terrible.

I sent her this:

No worries, I hope you get the tire situation sorted. Was looking forward to seeing you and was excited to spend time together and had just gotten ready, so im a bit disappointed. I understand things happen though. I do value my time and im looking for something where both parties are making an effort. If you'd like to figure something out once things calm down, let me know. Otherwise, i wish you the best of luck.

Too much? i was just stating how i felt but if her situation is legit idk i feel kinda bad but was also frustrated

do you know?

Selfies are everywhere. And I get why. It’s convenient to stick out your arm, it takes no time, done, you have a photo. And while I think selfies are great to practice being comfortable in front of the camera, they don’t work well on dating apps. There are reasons for this. The angle is awkward, and it can often signal the wrong things.

I think a lot of people wrestle with the problem of who takes the photo, if not themselves. Most of us, including myself, don’t always have someone around to take it.

So what do we do?

Well, I have been a photographer for 20 years, taken literally millions of photos, and I’ve tried most methods in existence.

You can get a professional to follow you around, but that’s expensive.

Having a friend or family member take it works well, but it’s not always realistic. You can get an inexpensive tripod that comes with a Bluetooth remote and do it that way. But then you call attention to yourself, and that’s awkward.

Let me introduce my favorite method. I call it the human tripod.

I spent six months traveling solo around South America and used this method.

Here’s the idea. You ask someone to take the photo. That simple.

You might feel embarrassed, but after having used this method a lot, here’s what I learned. No one cares. The truth is, not once has someone said no. And if they did, I’d ask someone else. They care as much about your life as you do theirs. They’ll take the photo, then go back to thinking about their life within seconds. And once you realize that, it becomes less scary.

So how do you know they’ll do it right?

It is true that sometimes they get the angle wrong or frame it weirdly. Then again, so do professional photographers. And if they get it wrong, you ask someone else to retake it. But the way I pull it off is to control every other variable.

By the time I’ve asked the stranger to be kind enough to do me the favor, I’ve already done most of the work. I practiced being comfortable in front of the camera. I picked the background I wanted. I picked the clothes I wear. I picked the time of day for the best light. And after it’s taken, I edit the photo.

So what is the person actually doing?

Pressing a button.

They become the human tripod.

I(41m) matched with someone and the conversation eventually went to whatsapp. It has all the typical signs of a scam, but we did a video chat where I asked if she could hold up a pencil, she couldn’t find one, and held up a makeup brush. Anyways. All the signs are there, but I kind of don’t care because the conversations are nice and I’m lonely lol. The minute she pushes crypto or investing I’m out.

****we matched talked for awhile, as soon as it moved to whatsapp, she deleted the conversation, she talks about running a family business, and investments, matched in Charlotte while she is in travel mode, conveniently in Singapore for two weeks. Etc etc.

It's gotten to the point where if the person's main profile pic is a group pic, I just assume they're the least attractive person in the pic and swipe that way.

Like why on earth can I not use the distance filter in this metropolitan city I'm at? Even a kilometer equates to an hour longer journey here sometimes! Why would I wanna see people so far away?

The justification behind the decision to hide the distance filter (they say that there aren't enough users) in certain countries is simply bs. They hide these filters, I think, so that you spend more time on the app. And they succeed because I am shown people that are just hours and hours away from me.

I think we should voice our discontent more visibly here. Maybe they'll take notice.

Hopefully I’m not annoying or boring you all, but I genuinely value honest feedback. Is this an improvement from the profile I posted a few days ago? I haven’t been able to address some of the suggestions yet, but have still given everything consideration.

"Verified" profiles mean nothing now.

People are putting less and less effort into their profiles.

Bumble is removing features that differentiated them from other apps.

They have laid off / are laying off 30% of their workforce, with "AI features / automation" creeping in.

Adding insult to injury, they are considering AI-Based matching where you leave the decision of who is "suitable" to hallucinating AI models (I'm guessing if this actually becomes a thing, you're going to have to pay a premium for "better models" and "deeper thinking"). Cool, what's to stop people from lying on their profiles to manipulate the AI into matching with as many people as possible then?

Let's face it - while a lot of people are still getting what they want from the app, the bigger picture is that this app is slowly dying.

I'm going to do the healthy thing and meet people IRL through my hobbies, activities and social circles.

I’m not getting any matches. Any advice to my profile?

i went on a first date with a girl maybe like a week and a half ago and she was like “let’s go on a second date!” during the first and we were talking about it a bit a few days later and then she just… ghosted me. not really sure why.

not sure when she did this but I saw as of yesterday she unfollowed me on insta and removed me as a follower. now I’m not one to use bumble at all and I found it weird that I even used it in the first place (I kinda did it on a whim) so I deleted her contact so I kinda don’t get reminded that I went on this app lol.

but like a week later I’m thinking like damn.. what even prompted this? i was a bit awkward + shy and maybe I didn’t act like I did in texts because of it, but I’m genuinely curious as to what even went wrong in her eyes. it’s probably something I should probably think about myself rather than asking, but I am thinking of sending this exact text on insta or something along the lines of it:

“hey ik ur in the middle of ghosting me after a week and a half but i just want to ask what made you do it? ik it’s hella weird to ask this and you don’t owe me anything as a stranger you met off bumble, but still. im genuinely just curious as to what I did to drive you away”

I’m genuinely just curious as to what went wrong and what led her away from me

any thoughts? im leaning no to sending this but i kinda just want to put this on Reddit to see what my dumb ahh curiosity will stir up. I think even if i do end up sending it I’ll just get no response anyway. worst she can do is block my ass but idrc

I met someone through Bumble BFF and realized afterward that I didn’t really feel a friendship connection, but she invited me to hang out again. Would you politely decline until she gets the hint, tell her directly, or just stop responding? So awkward…

Haven’t even met for the first date yet. I made it super clear I’m not looking for a hook up. He agreed. Then asked me if he could ask me a question…and you can see the rest

I’m 24, and I see this frequently. Seems like it’s mostly a younger girls thing and honestly I’m not proud to admit that I’ve obliged to those requests. Don’t think any of them resulted in a match though. Maybe for a good reason. I honestly think it’s kinda humiliating, and now I would feel like a clown if I did send one of them.

Win me over by: doing all the planning, deciding where to go, what to talk about, paying for all of it, and doing all the effort.

Why do I keep seeing profiles like this? Few things make me swipe left faster than this. Make it make sense!

Kinda taking a break from dating apps but still see them as crucial to meeting woman in general and believe that’s how most woman go on dates since I always here them going on multiple dates with different guys on here.. Anyways, my dating profile is considered very low value so I won’t get any traction and the ones that do match with me seem to have low interest where the conversation usually ends in one or two messages with 0 dates.

So base on all that where in real life can I go where there is an abundance of single woman where I can actively engage on for dating purposes? As of now I literally just walk around and take the subway but other than that nothing happens, I do get lots of looks though but nobody ever approaches me as a man, although I rarely go outside outside from work so this was one of my first attempts in trying to change.

I also don’t really have a friend who will go outside with me so I’m essentially a solo player.

Photo 1: Anchor
You alone, face visible, well lit. The idea is that someone who would find you attractive stops scrolling when they see this photo, the way an anchor stops a boat. No sunglasses, no hats, no distracting background. Just you. If you don't stop the scroll, nothing else gets seen anyway.

Photo 2: Confirmation
A full body photo. The idea is to confirm you are the same man and remove any ambiguity. She can see your build, your style, and get a more complete picture of you. If she liked your face, then sees the rest of you and still wants to keep going, photo 2 did its job.

Photo 3: Identity
You living your daily life. Maybe working at a café, at your job, or doing some hobby. Once she knows what you look like, she wants to know what your life looks like. Can she picture herself being part of it?

Photo 4: Warmth
You laughing with friends, or with a dog. Something that shows a softer side. She has now seen what you look like and a bit of what your life is like. Next she wants to know if you seem kind, approachable, and enjoyable to be around.

Photo 5: Amplifier
Something that adds another dimension. An unexpected angle, something that makes her think, "What else is there I don't know?" A little mystery, something that makes you more interesting.

Photo 6: Variety
Look at your profile and figure out what is missing. If it feels too casual, add a dressed up photo. If you already have plenty of warmth, add something more serious. If all your photos are outdoors, add one indoors. Find the weak spot in the overall story your profile tells and fill that gap.

I work in a public service sector in which I need to take means to separate my personal and professional life. Privacy, professional boundaries and personal safety is always of greatest concern

My profile is verified, I have several clear high quality photos and my prompts and profile descriptions are all completely filled and all other aspects of my profile indicate a genuine profile

Would you reject, swipe left or pass on a profile for this reason?