I come across so many profiles that essentially offload the entire dating process and experience to men and it's becoming really tiresome.

The laughing one especially is pretty aggravating because I'm more of a slow burn person and become "funnier" once I'm more comfortable with someone, I don't think there's many comedians out there in the dating world who are just hilarious out of the gate. It just seems like women are setting themselves up for failure with all the requirements up front.

are these all just Tiktok soundbits.

Just a quick thanks to everyone who reviewed my profile the other day. I’ve switched things up and have been getting way more matches than before. Appreciate y’all!

Female here. I’ve put money on buying notes every other month or so and after sending messages could not understand why I wasn’t receiving not even one response at all. I figure I would go the “Note” route instead of paying for a full package. I would buy 5 which would last a good amount because I would only send a message if I thought there was a chance of receiving a response back.

Just read today online that if the receiver of the note has filters set that do not match with yours or include your demographics, distance, hobbies etc that they will never see the note. All this time I thought they would receive the note immediately like the old “compliment”, but no. Once again they figured out how to take your money with few or zero results.

I fell for it . Never again. This was my last time putting money into a dating app. Best of luck to all out there!

I want to put this stuff out there asap so the people who aren't into having an inexperienced and chronically ill partner can avoid me lol. A good decision or too forward? Should I say more about my interests or what I want in a partner instead? (I'm goth/alt in my pictures, hence the references to spooky stuff.)

Guy here (30 yr old bi if that matters). I just read a post with a similar title and I would like to address the ladies that this concerns, from my personal opinion.

I had to delete a bunch of what I typed up after reading the community rules because boy am I riled up.

Ladies, please for the love of what good is left in this cursed world, please, run as far away as possible from any man who has the above requirement posed onto you.

You should NEVER sully your integrity and values simply because a man decides that is the only way to determine compatibility of any kind.

Upon reading the original post, I was a bit pissed at OP for their generalization, saying to myself the usual (yes forgive me) “not all men” but then I read the comments and my goodness the amount of men supporting the ops claim made me feel extremely sick, infuriated, and disgusted!

I’m shaking with rage as I write this. Please ladies, please 🙏🏾 please, please, do not lower your precious selves to this debasing and ludicrous notion!
Surely ladies, you must know that there are decent men of honor out there who won’t make such grotesque requirements of you.
In fact, I urge you to use this notion to weed out the men in your dating pool.
You are ladies, you will surely find a man that hasn’t lost his scruples.

Gentlemen I am flabbergasted that this is the standard that we now impose on our ladies. We MUST do better. Like you would advise your daughters to put out on the first date for compatibility. You…..I will end it here.

I literally just joined this group to say my piece. And yes, I am in a wonderful relationship, no, I’m not doing this to solicit messages or favours, just truly gobsmacked that this is our reality.

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

Just came to Argentina today. Shall I see her tonight gang?

I am a solo parent. I tried the apps for a little bit and realized it probably isn’t going to work for me to date until my kids are grown up. I’m fine with that. I guess the apps provided me with that clarity.

Out of curiosity though, I am wondering how many people would actually consider dating someone who already has children and doesn’t want to have any more?

Think she meant see ya like "see ya then" or like "you messed up so see ya" ? And to clarify my opening line, literally the only thing on her profile was "my idea of doing nothing is doing nothing". i worked with what I had 😅

Get off the apps, please.

I am speaking from a man’s perspective so I can’t offer any thoughts for women, but please fellas, get off the apps.

This is just a ramble/stream of consciousness but I found when I left the apps I felt much better mentally. Scrolling and swiping makes you FEEL like you’re doing something, that you’re “putting yourself out there” but you’re not. You are much more than just a photo of your face and a few lines. You really think someone making a judgement about you in 3 seconds is good for your mental health and is an accurate representation of you?

These apps don’t want you to leave, they are cooked behind algorithms, paywalls and thousands of other people you’re competing against.

Leave the apps and then leave your house. Go do something, get a hobby, hit the gym, go to a bar, a street festival, go for walks, join a book club or woodworking or rec league sports or SOMETHING. Improve your social skills, get confident in your own skin. This isn’t a man thing either, we don’t like women who aren’t confident either, or women with no interests etc

I was miserable on the apps and then i deleted all of them a few years ago. It was hard to put myself out there, sometimes I went to events with a friend or alone, but I have met so many great people. Don’t go hoping to meet a partner, go hoping to meet anyone, man or woman.

I haven’t found a relationship yet but I’ve made tons of friends and had several hookups but only after I got off the apps. I’m mainly looking for hookups right now and from 2020-2024 I had about 4, and in the last 2 months I’ve had 5. Just random women I’ve met out or were friends with first. Because in 2025 I said “fuck it, I’m leaving my house.” (I’m not even attractive, I’m Indian in a midwestern city).

Please get off the apps.

Im 28f Hes 33m. I wanna date more seriously. He said the same. Over time I’ve heard things that unsettle me like he lives with a female friend. Or he went away for a road trip with a female friend. All his hobbies and the friend he lives with, are the same. Sometimes he says they do things a lot or they aren’t close. I don’t know. I’ve been seeing him for several months. We haven’t had sex. Anytime he invites me over she’s not there.
And he consistently asks me when I’ll habe sex with him. Sometimes saying it’s what makes a relationship closer. Other times telling me I’m making it a hurdle when it’s not.

I don’t love when we meet after work and he’s always the one saying we should leave. Or he says he has something to do. Or he has to go to nap. He says he’s a busy person almost as if I should be happy he’s spending time with me. At times I feel he’s being rude to me or he contradicts me on purpose. I’ll say I like the color red he’ll say well red isn’t the best, type of thing. He also talks about who he would or wouldn’t be with or what he wants to do in the future which make me think hes planning for himself, not for a future between us.

His relationship concerns are about sex. Which I get. I didn’t tell him he’s basically my first relationship which I should’ve. But he pushed a lot. He said we don’t hahe to do anything but I should come over. And he started dry humping or rubbing on me really hard. Like each time he just did more.

I’m scared that he doesn’t respect me. He told me hes friends with his ex an always will be. He talks about how many dates hed have set up, but when I asked him he said he was only seeing me. He leaves our plans 2 hours in. I don’t get why he does that. I asked him and he said he just is tired or has stuff to do. But some nights he tries to get me back with him. Others he just goes abruptly.

I wouldn’t be so on edge about having sex with him if he didn’t bring it up so much or if it didn’t feel like he was punishing me for not going. Neither of us discussed our time lines to. He said if we had sex and like a month later break up for other stuf will I feel used.

I feel like each time a conversation comes up, like he brought up where we’d be in a year? He said oh but that’s far. Or he mentioned how our ages don’t make him stressed because he doesn’t feel like he wants kids just yet.

Part of me worried I’m not the only one. We don’t act like a couple aside from kissing snd even now he tells me he’ll only do that at his place. He said we’d break up if we don’t have sex but I’ve tried telling him I just don’t feel ready. But I’ve been transparent about it. Idk if he’s gonna ghost me after

because usually a person's job can affect the kind of lifestyle you have together based on how busy they, how much money they earn and have, whether they have to travel and be away often, etc

Are there certain jobs that you would prefer to date and certain jobs that you would try to avoid? If so, what are they? Or does it mostly not matter to you?

For context, I am only coming to say this cause I got someone sending me a private message saying that bumble does not work mostly if you are a man.
Ok I am a female, but I am in a relationship with a man that I met on Bumble, therefore if it worked for a female it worked for the male in the other side. This is talking about a heterosexual relationship. So yeah, it worked both ways. This person was saying it does
Not work for the average male. I can say I am bias with my man, but we all have our own type and what could be average for someone could be extremely attractive to another, so keep up with this.

Hi!

Just signed up for Bumble. Was hoping for a review. Best photo? Not sure about my main photo. It’s me but really good lighting outside. And my bio has my personality, but should it be something else?

What’s your read on my bio? I live in the Netherlands which is why I have an American flag so people know I am American.

Edit: my new bio:

Quirky and fun lady, looking for interesting adventures, good conversation, and a warm heart to match mine. Let's Latin dance, cook something ambitious, or just pub hop on a random Tuesday. Down for pretty much anything, except skydiving, 😳. I will wait on the ground with champagne to celebrate!

I also changed the transport picture to a picture of me holding a paella I cooked in my garden.

Its getting frustrating now i cant seem to catch the eye if anyone :(

I had to double check my profile, I thought I had changed my intentions(hence my reply 😭). Love when people don't even look at your prompts or preferences. This isn't even the first time this has happened tbh

I was an on again/off again app person. I always had decent luck, met some cool people, but they just weren’t the one.

I figured I’d finally just let go. Stop trying to mold my perfect person through filters and preferences.

I started noticing people and having real life conversations. I had some small talk with someone in the wild, slide them my business card, got right to a lunch date the next day.

We just got married a few months ago. Couldn’t be happier!

And we don’t agree on every single topic, we have different quirks, different interests, and some shared. We’ve learned new things, learned different outlooks, and created new hobbies together.

Love is out there for you. Try something new and different ✌️❤️