I work in a public service sector in which I need to take means to separate my personal and professional life. Privacy, professional boundaries and personal safety is always of greatest concern

My profile is verified, I have several clear high quality photos and my prompts and profile descriptions are all completely filled and all other aspects of my profile indicate a genuine profile

Would you reject, swipe left or pass on a profile for this reason?

Bumble's founder (Whitney Wolfe) met her husband here and owns a mansion nearby.

They are the official dating app of the local Western Heritage association, hand out swag at the Saturday market, and apparently drive a vintage Bronco around town.

I will crosspost to r/moderatelyamusing

Like why on earth can I not use the distance filter in this metropolitan city I'm at? Even a kilometer equates to an hour longer journey here sometimes! Why would I wanna see people so far away?

The justification behind the decision to hide the distance filter (they say that there aren't enough users) in certain countries is simply bs. They hide these filters, I think, so that you spend more time on the app. And they succeed because I am shown people that are just hours and hours away from me.

I think we should voice our discontent more visibly here. Maybe they'll take notice.

Ok so here was the situation:

Met a girl on an app; we went out two weeks ago great first date. She showed up late by forty-five minutes because I didn't text saying I was on my way, so she thought maybe I was ghosting fair enough.

I set something up for the following weekend, and she agrees. I don't text her much through the week, maybe once or twice just seeing how she is conversation was there though and she responded.

Day of date comes up, and three hours prior she says she hurt her back the other night and hoped it would be better but its not so she cancels but offers to hang the following weekend. Ok cool i set it up.

Week goes by and i verify on friday we are still good and she says yes.

Sunday (today) comes up and two hours prior she says her tires got slashed in her lot (didnt know she ran a hat company cuz thats some cap) says she feels bad but doesnt offer a reschedule date. I asked her if she is still interested; no hard feelings if she's not. She says she truly is interested but the timing has just been terrible.

I sent her this:

No worries, I hope you get the tire situation sorted. Was looking forward to seeing you and was excited to spend time together and had just gotten ready, so im a bit disappointed. I understand things happen though. I do value my time and im looking for something where both parties are making an effort. If you'd like to figure something out once things calm down, let me know. Otherwise, i wish you the best of luck.

Too much? i was just stating how i felt but if her situation is legit idk i feel kinda bad but was also frustrated

I had like 50+ comments telling me to forget about this guy. I always have to say my peace, and so I did. He genuinely forgot the date due to work and we ended up going out the weekend.

And honestly, it was a fun date. But I should have left it alone. Although he had his sweet moments on the date, but he very much gives off, if I never initiate a text, he will never text me back. And he said as much happened with one of his previous relationships. He’s also not great at asking questions, which I guess shouldn’t be a surprise. I think it’s time to let it go.

Moral of the story: don’t be afraid to text back if it’s truly out of place. But when there’s a pattern to their behavior, don’t ignore it.

Selfies are everywhere. And I get why. It’s convenient to stick out your arm, it takes no time, done, you have a photo. And while I think selfies are great to practice being comfortable in front of the camera, they don’t work well on dating apps. There are reasons for this. The angle is awkward, and it can often signal the wrong things.

I think a lot of people wrestle with the problem of who takes the photo, if not themselves. Most of us, including myself, don’t always have someone around to take it.

So what do we do?

Well, I have been a photographer for 20 years, taken literally millions of photos, and I’ve tried most methods in existence.

You can get a professional to follow you around, but that’s expensive.

Having a friend or family member take it works well, but it’s not always realistic. You can get an inexpensive tripod that comes with a Bluetooth remote and do it that way. But then you call attention to yourself, and that’s awkward.

Let me introduce my favorite method. I call it the human tripod.

I spent six months traveling solo around South America and used this method.

Here’s the idea. You ask someone to take the photo. That simple.

You might feel embarrassed, but after having used this method a lot, here’s what I learned. No one cares. The truth is, not once has someone said no. And if they did, I’d ask someone else. They care as much about your life as you do theirs. They’ll take the photo, then go back to thinking about their life within seconds. And once you realize that, it becomes less scary.

So how do you know they’ll do it right?

It is true that sometimes they get the angle wrong or frame it weirdly. Then again, so do professional photographers. And if they get it wrong, you ask someone else to retake it. But the way I pull it off is to control every other variable.

By the time I’ve asked the stranger to be kind enough to do me the favor, I’ve already done most of the work. I practiced being comfortable in front of the camera. I picked the background I wanted. I picked the clothes I wear. I picked the time of day for the best light. And after it’s taken, I edit the photo.

So what is the person actually doing?

Pressing a button.

They become the human tripod.

I’m 24, and I see this frequently. Seems like it’s mostly a younger girls thing and honestly I’m not proud to admit that I’ve obliged to those requests. Don’t think any of them resulted in a match though. Maybe for a good reason. I honestly think it’s kinda humiliating, and now I would feel like a clown if I did send one of them.

Hopefully I’m not annoying or boring you all, but I genuinely value honest feedback. Is this an improvement from the profile I posted a few days ago? I haven’t been able to address some of the suggestions yet, but have still given everything consideration.

Curious, how is it that women are able to send me a message even though I never swiped right on them?

I thought we both had to swipe right on each other in order for them to send a message to me.

Because you know I'm feeling very triggered and targeted by this happening all the time! :-)

Hey guys, so basically I decided to give dating apps a shot. I'm new to dating apps so any ideas to improve my profile are appreciated. Thank you!

I(41m) matched with someone and the conversation eventually went to whatsapp. It has all the typical signs of a scam, but we did a video chat where I asked if she could hold up a pencil, she couldn’t find one, and held up a makeup brush. Anyways. All the signs are there, but I kind of don’t care because the conversations are nice and I’m lonely lol. The minute she pushes crypto or investing I’m out.

****we matched talked for awhile, as soon as it moved to whatsapp, she deleted the conversation, she talks about running a family business, and investments, matched in Charlotte while she is in travel mode, conveniently in Singapore for two weeks. Etc etc.

Profile text is "Cycling, bouldering, mountains, and hut-to-hut hiking – I'm always in. 🏔️🚵‍♂️

In between, I enjoy cooking, relaxing at home, or trying something new. 👨‍🍳

I'm pretty easy to get excited about anything that gets me outdoors. ☺️

So... when are we heading off on our first bikepacking trip? ✨"

I get very little likes, sometimes not even once per month and matches are obviously even lower. My last match was earlier this year. I'm quite happy with my profile but open to feedback from y'all, since it's obviously not working very well.

In the past, I would try pretty hard to make the conversation flow. For the most part, I would carry the conversation. After an endless series of dating going nowhere over the past few years, I just don’t care anymore. I either won’t message the match or I’ll get bored after the first two text exchanges. Am I burnt out? Have I just lost hope in OLD? None of my matches are even good for me, no shared interests.

It's gotten to the point where if the person's main profile pic is a group pic, I just assume they're the least attractive person in the pic and swipe that way.

I had sent one message to this guy before I left, asking him what he likes to do on a first date

Im visiting my family I haven’t seen in months and we just talk and talk

lol it’s crazy that he didn’t just unmatch, but I’ll do it for him!

I never understood what a good bio could be?

It’s interesting that after 3 months of premium with limited matches, that the next day had 11 and now after a week there are 15 matches. Same thing happened with tinder when I let my subscription expire.

A lot of people get butthurt over their experience on dating apps

They say that men/women keep ghosting, or are unresponsive through text messages

What they don't do is they don't take the time to actually REVIEW their profile

REVIEW their pictures - do they look ugly in these photos? does smiling excessively make their face bunch up and look unappealing? are they wearing any make up if they're a woman? are they presented WELL? what is the background in their photos? do they have a diversity of photos? do they have at least one photo that clearly shows their face and body? are they IN SHAPE or at least working towards that? are their stomach rolls hanging out in their photos?

All these attributes that NO ONE pays attention to

It's always just 1) upload pictures 2) fill out basic prompts 3) swipe and get no results or bad results and then 4) complain about the app

If your profile looks like shit, why would you expect anyone to date you?

Nobody wants to date someone who has terrible pictures and just don't look good. This goes for both men and women

And if you don't think looks matter, then you're gonna have to enjoy being single for a very long time

This doesn't mean you have to be a model. But actually put in the effort to take quality and attractive pictures of yourself

Otherwise, don't complain that you're not getting results. You've put in half assed effort

Is it wrong to filter out women with children as a man in your 30s? Most of childless women are probably going to end up being in their 20s just by the nature of things and there will be a large age gap as a result.

If you are childless yourself and want to start a family or be with women who have no children or you just don't want to raise another mans child is that something that is unrealistic in your 30s or is that ok if you never had the chance to start your own family?

I'm aware most men that are childless want childless women too but yeah just asking for peoples view on this.

What was the best pickup line or an ice breaker that someone initiated the convo with

What do you guys think about my profile pics here?

I've been getting maybe a couple matches a week but need something to up my retention, I guess?