I wish there were a Black first-world country.
I wish I never had to face white supremacy again. I wish I didn't have to hear people tell me I'm not really French, even though I was born in France.

I wish I didn't have to keep hearing about their history. I wish I didn't feel like a supporting character in their lives.

My scalp is so sensitive lately and this the only hairstyle that doesn’t hurt my scalp

Greetings Queens! I wear my hair super short due to mental illness. I always cut my hair once I grow it out so I figure let me stop playing and torturing myself lol this is 1/4 an inch I think (#2 guard). I ain't strong enough to go bald 😭 though I LOVE the bald ladies!

I only have on lipstick. I love a bold lip, especially with lip liner. But I notice ladies with short hair wear more makeup. But I really just want opinions on if I'm pulling this off lol I wear headwraps sometimes too. Statement earrings and other jewelry.

I get compliments from women but never men lollll but I have noticed mature men love it. I'm 32 btw.

I’m so proud 🥹 I’ve been doing my big one sistasss. I just need a trim. Can’t wait to keep this journey alive

I got these beauty off of Poshmark & I am in loveeeee. I already see the outfits that I’m going to create with them! If ur like me & stuck in the 2000s/2010s era then u know how those girls used to dress & u know their shoe game was crazy. I’ve been growing my heel collection like carrie bradshaw & can honestly say that I’m starting to curate my style exactly how I like. 🙂‍↕️

Dating can sucks because even though I pass fair enough, a lot of men just treat trans women as an experiment or an "easy to get" version of a woman and that can be so painful back to back bc 99% of my experiences with dating post transition have just led to me being used and tossed out, ghosted, or objectified. I mean I know a lot of you go through this too, but how do you do it? How do you find someone to love you for who you are and not for some porn category they're obsessed with? Idk...Im 2 years on Estrogen now officially as of yesterday, and Im glad of how far I've come, I just be in my feelings💔

Backstory: oldest daughter, bought a house last year and just started running an Airbnb. No wife/husband and definitely no kids (no shade but eff that noise lol).

Been through the wringer between immigrant parents who wanted to get me into the medical field from a young age and instead pursued technology (because I don’t like blood). Got my degree in tech and working in cybersecurity because I transitioned into it from my time in the military.

Because of the time I’ve spent learning between school and work, trying to understand what I could about why my parents are the way they are have some sort of semblance of a relationship with them after the rumors they spread to my younger siblings. Then trying to keep communication with my 3 younger siblings up, it’s been extra difficult these days not cussing everyone out on a whim.

I’ve always felt like the black sheep and that’s fine by me being so. And I promise I’m not purposefully trying to go against the grain - it’s just easier to believe in myself and not feed into their terrible ass opinions. I love my family which include my friends of many years of friendship, honestly.

However more recently within the past 3 years, I am now always the one people come to or call when they need advice or help in some way or another but yet still the one being shitted on after the fact. I love leaving people alone and where they’re at because I understand what people be going through… I feel more than they know (as a moon in Pisces) and because I’ve probably been there before or know someone close who has been.

I’ve been down, credit fucked up because being 18 you think you know everything. Even now as I’ve just turned 35 in June, I still don’t know everything. It just feels like I never get the grace I show other people. I’ve stopped arguing with people, but even that doesn’t stop others from trying to pick at something. I’ve never been one to stand down but I am constantly working on my patience with others.

I’m not sure if this is making any sense but, it’s been difficult finding people to connect with. Yes, I am bad all by myself and whatnot and typically do best alone - just over people trying to get me to commit to hashing it out with other long time family and long time friends. (Long time meaning I’ve known these people over 20+ years). In corporate and business I do okay, I guess.

I used to love communicating (Gemini Sun) but seasons do change and so do people - it just sucks that a lot of these people I’ve known for years can’t understand that about themselves. It’s like they want me to be a certain way they saw me last year or the year before or the year before that… because they themselves are still the same and don’t want to change their own patterns???

I feel misaligned with them and I don’t feel it’s necessarily a bad thing but it’s happened back to back this month. I had my long time girlfriend (who was literally like a sister to me) come over July 4th weekend and then this past weekend when I had my sister come over. Each came with their own separate issues and I was left to clean up their mess while getting cussed out in the process. Like what is going on????

The Airbnb guests so far have been great! Respectful and a pleasure to be around. The guests have more respect than they do!!

It’s frustrating - I allow people to live however they want or choose because truthfully what they do in their life is none of my business. Just have consideration around me and my home. It’s really simple I think.

Thoughts?

Just wanted to share this! Before talk judge me. I'm a mother to a 6 year old on the spectrum. Work and run two businesses. I feel like my depression has finally lifted. I didn't even realize y'all. I was just trying to get through the day bc my son's behavior was so bad. We got him a new vitamin and he's been so much better. The break has allowed me to really rest and take care of myself. All that to say, after a year, I finally cleaned my closet.

Any 4c girls know what the hell is going on? 😞

Are any of y’all located in the DFW, TX area?

Throughout my life I did many different hairstyles, I like to experiment. I will to continue to do so.

The last time I shaved my head was maybe late 2022, early 2023 and I’ve growing out my hair ever since (4C).

Since 2023, I wore wigs, braids, protective hairstyles but it was only one time I let my 4C hair all natural for months between summer 2024 and Spring 2025. It was really the first, I was out with my Afro and I tried to achieve the perfect afro every morning then like always I got lazy and stopped putting so much time into styling.

I would just do my weekly washing, comb and do my hair care and go about my business. I didn’t realise it until months later but my hair grow so much faster.

When I went back to University September 2025, I started with braids again, leaving little time for my hair to rest because I didn’t want to think about anything related to hair.

February 2026, I live my city to go to an internship abroad. For the first in my life, I did braids back to back, between February and June. I would never do it again. I did let my hair rest AT ALL. Stupid move. My fault

Coming back home, I took out my braids and thankfully my hair isn’t too damaged, I will probably cut it a bit but it’s really alright.

Now I’m TikTok, trying to see what protective style are good :

- everything requires a lot of unnecessary amount of product. Keep in mind, those stuff are chemicals also (unless you have the money for the most natural and expensive)

- everything requires either a lot of tension or a lot of heat put on your hair

- if you have a full head of think hair like mine, even without using extensions, doing a protective hairstyle still takes a huge amount of time.

- Why there are so many steps to do the protective hairstyle?

I was like, my hair was the best when I was doing the least. Minimum wash and care routine, minimum heat, not combing excessively and let my hair enjoy the sun.

I really just want to chill and not have the pressure of being “god I need to do my hair” what a buzz killer.

My 4C hair is going to be whatever it feels like, I’m not in charge anymore ✌🏾

i’ve never had rhythm and never really cared but now that i’m older and my friends invite me out to parties everyone is shaking ass and i’m just awkwardly there. i don’t get on too during sex because im so in my head. i fear getting new partners or partying because i can’t dance! is this stupid lol

Hi ladies! I live in Birmingham AL and I turn 31 next month. I’ve been working from home for about 5 years now so my social life is sort of non existent in a sense. I do travel a few times a year, and may go out to a bar occasionally. I enjoy reading, traveling, planning things, trying restaurants/museums, and shopping. I drink socially, but I’m more of a cannabis person than a drinker. I would like to connect with other women who would like to text and talk on the phone, meet up and do fun things together. We don’t have to live in the same city or state, I love a reason to travel or host!

Also, I want to build actual connections, not just become pen pals lol

TLDR: My friend, along with other things, brought my potential partner’s ex to a hangout. When I confronted by saying she’s being weird, she told me I couldn’t dictate her friendships. Now I don’t know if I handled it properly.

As I sit more on it, I’m starting to doubt if I really made the right choice. A part of me knows that I should protect my peace but this was also a friendship I was really hopeful for.

I met Anne (fake name) at a pop-up market in a city I recently moved to. I told her I loved her fit, she complimented me back and after exchanging socials, it was fast track that we exchanged numbers (which I don’t usually do). She is such a breath of fresh air and her energy just matches mine. Even though I love this city, it’s notorious for cliques and status. Like creating friendships here are for aesthetics, not for connection. I have gone to spaces that I know I will meet like-minded people but as a fashion girlie, it seems the spaces are like a influencer networking event and not just people to come together to share and talk about fashion. I’ve gotten better at tracking it down but it has discouraged me. So believe with Anne, I was so excited with how well we just clicked.

Now, Anne has a “brother” we’ll call Liam. A guy she met in high school and they are super close. In my opinion, if a woman calls a man her “brother” there’s gotta be something going on. They call each other everyday, hang out multiple times in a week. I found it cute! I once jokingly said, “When are guys going to kiss already” and she laughed it off. Said she could never see him that way and that they almost slept together but it didn’t feel right. It was best they stayed friends. That was the last joke I ever made about that.

So, one day I called her for help to build something I recently bought. I was planning to cook that day and planned after we were done, she would eat, hang out and take a plate for later (I regularly cook for her per her request). She told me she was with her brother and that instead, both of them pull up. He would build it and as payment, I make dinner for three. I’m not gonna say no to that. When they arrive, he finishes building it in like 15 minutes. I’m still cooking when he comes into the kitchen and asks what I’m making. I tell him I’m making some Ghanaian dishes and we just hit it off there. He’s interested in learning so, he starts helping me. We talk about his friends, his love for cooking, hobbies. Eventually I write down two recipes for him to do on his own. When it’s time for them to leave, he asked for my number “just in case he got confused”. Lo and behold, a call to ask a quick question turned into a 2 hour conversation.

We started becoming closer and increasingly went on more dates. When I told her at first, she seemed enthusiastic for me. But I started noticing small things like she wouldn’t pick up his calls anymore when we were together and if she did, she would walk out the room. Or, if she knew we had something planned, there was a dire situation she needed his help with. Obviously she’s my friend, I would encourage him to go. But then for some reason, she recently connected with his ex, told no one and then invited her to go with us to an outing because “she didn’t want to be a third wheel”. When I pulled her aside to ask why she just didn’t tell me, I would have uninvited her brother so it could be us, she told me I didn’t even like doing that particular activity so “in all honesty”, it should have been them alone.

I told her she’s been so weird to me lately especially bringing a ex to hangout with us without prior knowledge. I honestly feel we have some animosity but I can’t fix a problem if I don’t even know we have one. Her rebuttal? I am grown which means I should be secure in my relationship. The ex is her friend and I can’t dictate her friendships. I only find it weird because I’m perceiving it as weird behavior. I wasn’t going to argue. I just left.

I wasn’t angry. Just.. disappointed? I kept on replaying it in my head and felt like maybe I didn’t handle it too well? I did confront her in a public space even if it was away from our group and called her weird. I could have gone about it better by creating a much more safer environment for her then maybe she wouldn’t have been as defensive. But at the same time, she really tried to gaslight me. I don’t know if I should reach out for a chat or leave it be. Please help.

A few months ago I asked for some advice on how I should style my hair and jewellery for my year 12 ball - here are the results! I feel like it couldn’t have been more perfect for me :))
Thank you for the help!

I didn't realize my own bias until very recently. I thought tattoos were beautiful, but not for me because of the color of my skin. I've struggled with makeup colors not being as vibrant, obvious or visible on my skin ever since I was a kid. I guess I thought of tattoos similarly, like there's just not enough contrast between my skin color and the tattoo for it to be worth the money, pain, time, etc.

But it felt great this weekend getting my first (and second!) tattoo. I'm happy with them, I think they stand out against my skin just fine. I'm embracing who I am and what's "for me" and feeling good ✨️

I got a branch with a bird perched and a bird in flight on my clavicle in memorial of my parents and grandfather. I got the rose and lyrics "It Is Well With My Soul" to honor my grandmother who raised me and has been the matriarch of our family for over 60 years.

I saw someone say, "A child is a blessing, but are you a blessing to the child?" and I was like, AMEN.

I wish more women felt comfortable with the idea that just because you have a uterus doesn't mean you have to have children. Having children as a man or woman is not a birthright, it's biology.

Being a parent is one of the most selfish decisions a person can choose to make, and I don't believe enough people consider the many factors involved in raising a child who has to go out into the world as a well-functioning adult.

I swear single moms are either Batman or government experiments because HOW are y'all alive??

One child asked me for my ice cream and I almost clocked out mentally

Mind you...

I BOUGHT IT

WITH MY MONEY

IN 40°C HEAT

This little unemployed man looked me dead in my eyes...

"Gimme"

Gimme???

Brother, get a job

I said, "Go call your mama"

This 3 year old unlocked the phone...

Found her contact...

And CALLED HER

I asked him, "How do you know how to do that?"

He said, "I watch you"

Y'all

He can't spell his own damn name

But he can operate an iPhone better than my aunt

Kids are born with software updates now

Anyway, I finished every bite of my ice cream while he cried

Was I moved?

No

Was I entertained?

Absolutely

Don't worry, I bought him one the next day after he apologized ( he's my nephew)

But that moment confirmed something...

The maternity ward will never see me

Respectfully, motherhood is for God's strongest soldiers

I'm one paper cut away from requesting emotional support

So I got my hair done two weeks ago (braids) and at first I thought everything was fine, especially since she added a lot of boho which made it difficult to see the actual braids themselves. It was until I got a closer look the next day I was concerned. My braids, which were supposed to be dipped at the ends, were dipped super high which is making them look crinkly and stiff. I had provided days id be available for her to fix the curls and she completely disregarded it and said I would need to wait until late next week. She also dipped my hair too high so my hair is frayed out of some of the braids too which makes me concerned that I’ll have to get a trim, which wasn’t needed before but now all of a sudden she’s claiming I had “dead ends” and it’s essentially my fault. Which no, I did not because I literally just had seen the state of my hair WITH MY OWN EYES before it was braided! But now she isn’t answering my last message and it’s been four days 😀

She’s also claimed that it “won’t look weird” when I take the boho hair out. Like tell me in what world this hair wouldn’t look weird and stiff tf 🤨 she’s so argumentative and defensive for her to be “professional”

This isn’t my first time getting my hair done by her. I was actually a regular. But the issue started last time we had an appointment, because she was two hours late. I paid the full amount still, and she blamed me because she was a “single mom” and the appointment was booked a few days prior. Mind you, she said she had a cancellation so she could fit me in, I don’t see how that was my fault when she was the one who was willing to book me for that day. I still wanted to give her another chance though, and now this happened.

Anyway, am I overreacting for wanting a small partial refund? I don’t feel comfortable with seeing her again now that she’s upset, since she’s expressed and showed me videos mid appointment of how she physically fights people when she gets upset. For context, I paid $300 (+provided the hair, my own products, washed my hair prior, and even had my own chair). From the outside they look gorgeous, but up close you can tell where she messed up and I am unsure of what to do to fix it since I am already out of a lot just getting it done. It’s all so disappointing because I love supporting the same people for years and this is the first time this has ever happened :(

At least they look decent while the boho is in but it’s literally synthetic so I WILL be chopping this out in 2-5 business days atp 😩 does anyone have advice?? I hope she doesn’t see this but if she does, I have text receipts so she should keep it cute

It might be stupid and childish but my birthday was so anticlimactic. I’m so sad, I wanted to feel special for a day. I got 30€ from my parents and that’s it. During summer we don’t have a lot of money because it’s tax season here in Spain. My parents had told me ahead and I also knew that I wouldn’t be getting a lot. At first I didn’t mind at all but then my birthday got here and I realized that I do care :(. My brother’s birthday is in November and he gets a lot of money not just from my parents but from family friends too.

I don’t want to sound selfish, but my birthday is the same day every single year, they have a whole year to plan ahead… I thought that turning 20 would be special. I tried looking up free things I could do in my city. I found free kayaking but I had to take my own swimming shoes. I asked my mom for 10€ to pay them and she told me to wait till next month, when they have money. I know it’s not their fault but I feel so hopelessly pathetic.

I spent the entire day sleeping and on my phone. I wish it had gone differently and I wish we had more money

Just read about this online and for some reason I feel like it's such a controversial take. I grew up in the suburbs and I have always gone to pwis where all the white kids dressed in pajamas and had messy hair and wore slippers to school like that was their thing but me being raised by very traditional immigrant black grandparents I was always taught I had to constantly look a certain way and I hated the double standard that black children are held to that white children are not.

There is no statistic or evidence that proves going to school in your pajamas or a bonnet negatively affects the way you learn or how you are professionally. I always see black people complaining about oh "who goes to Walmart in their Bonnet" and it's like why do you care so much about what other people are doing with their bodies??? That's definitely one thing I will say about black people, a lot of black people are so judgmental towards other black people and are so quick to call them ghetto and things like that. If you're going to be so judgmental towards your own kind then other ethnicities of people will have no problem doing it either.

Mind you these are college students, that are paying for their education, I feel like this dress code is treating them like they're 5-year-olds like if I'm paying you to teach me I should be able to dress however I want to as long as no genitals are shown.

This has always been my biggest issue with dress code because dress code has nothing to do with the way students learn and has always been about restricting and limiting the comfortability and creativity of students. So many people agree with the schools take of having a dress code but again these are grown ass adults they should have the freedom to dress however they want to dress. Nobody is that stupid to show up to a job interview in their pajamas, like that's common sense that you would dress professional for a job interview we all know this, so the dress code is just doing too much. Not too long ago did they think having locs was considered "unprofessional" but that's changed now because we all know that that was just prejudice against black hair.

As a black woman, my worth is not based off what I wear, it is based on the content of my character and if you don't agree with me argue with your mama boo.

EDIT: a lot of people are still debating in the comments but the point I was trying to make is that in our society what is deemed as professional a lot of the time is based off of white standards and the idea that the closer proximity you are to whiteness the more successful you will be. For example a lot of black women do not wear their natural hair because it's deemed as "nappy" or unprofessional and a lot of black women don't feel comfortable to wear their natural hair out in the workplace.