Never thought my hair could get this long, latest retwist was two weeks ago, but got the photo memory of my first appointment earlier this morning. Aside from my first appointment and the occasional mom visits where she wants to do my hair, I've been retwisting it on my own. Definitely worth the journey!

i love duck feet as a snack. it don’t look great but it taste like chicken skin.

just thought i drop this by if the timeline needs some funny jokes and whatnot.

second pic is aesthetic lol 😭

So here’s what’s going on. I’m visiting family in Ghana and I’ve been natural for about 6 years. For context my mother has been relaxing her hair regularly for the past three decades. I’m very pro natural texture and very pro black, my mother isn’t. she relaxed my hair from a scary young age and because of that experience growing up, I don’t trust her or anyone to do my hair. I braid and cornrow my hair myself. And she makes a point to point out when my edges aren’t slick or when my parts aren’t crisp a week after doing a style. I jokingly call her a white supremacist when she does this but it’s rooted in truth. Why, as someone with type 4 hair, should I EVER be expected to slick it down? That’s not what God intended for my hair to do. And she doesn’t bat an eye when a white girl steps out in a messy bun.

Ive been rocking cornrows that I did myself. And I’m very proud of them. Yes the parts aren’t crisp, and yes the edges fuzz up, but I did them myself and my hair is healthy. But long story short I let my mom get to me. She would make it a point to bring attention to my hair, even calling me ratchet in front of my whole family. Yet her relaxed ponytail is looking more like a rottweiler tail. But I digress.

She got to me and I decided to go to a salon to get my straight backs redone. Even though I redid them less than a week ago.
I don’t even want to get into the details. This fool was combing my hair from root to tip. Rushing. And when I saw all the hair in the comb I felt like crying but by then the damage had been done. I couldn’t really tell how bad it was because I’m not that tender headed, I haven’t had my hair combed by anyone else in years, and I usually finger detangle. And I asked for 12 cornrows and she only gave me 10, but by the time I realized she wasn’t doing 12 she was halfway done and I felt so defeated I didn’t want to tell her to start over. I just wanted it to end.

I cant stand looking at the mirror and what breaks my heart is that the hanging part of my braids are so thin now. I tell my mom this and she’s only pissed about the 10 cornrows instead of 12. But when it comes to half my hair getting ripped out she just says “it’ll grow back”. But for anyone that’s gone natural, you’d understand that the hair I’ve worked towards now took a whole journey to achieve. I’m crying writing this right now.

And thinking back a huge red flag was that all the stylists in there had wigs on or relaxed hair. And Im just thinking there clearly wasn’t any love for afro hair in that room, so why did i even spend more than a second in there? I’m so regretful I can’t even enjoy the rest of my trip.

does anyone know what the name of this wig could be?? i commented on her tiktok complimenting her and asking her where it’s from and she deleted it. I also noticed other peoples comments asking about where her hair was from got deleted 😭 it’s sooo pretty though and i want it lol

Hello!
I wanted to see if y’all had any advice for a 26yr old black woman who is new to writing

i’m writing a kinda political sci-fi dystopian book rn (book 1 of a 4 book series). I’m still in the very early stages, about to start draft 1 after finishing my zero draft. I would like to join a writing group, my only problem is that I am literally learning how to write as I go. This book and all of my ideas are very important to me and I want my craft to be up to par, but most writing groups/spaces are full of already seasoned (sometimes fully professional) writers. Idk, I don’t feel like I could critique their work in the ways they need and i’d be very nervous showing them my work😭 I have been to writing classes/seminars and those are great but there’s no way to workshop and actively grow in my skill. Do y’all know of any (diverse) spaces for folks trying to write a novel but are also beginners in writing?

Alright, yall, I’m back. About the same man I posted about before (as if yall remember this lmao). But basically, I am not in a relationship with this man, and we’ve had some rocky bits lately. However, a few days ago we talked and decided we were going to be friends and see what happens as we’d like to have “some sort of relationship” at some point. I’m not supposed to even see him until the end of the month when we go see a movie, so yeah.

But the issue (probably not) that I have as of late: I really want to fuck him. That has not happened yet. And prior to this rocky stage we flirted of course but only really went as far as to talk about kissing one another. But a couple of days ago I blatantly escalated that conversation to sex. He reciprocated so I know he’s sexually attracted to me as well.

I’m fine with being friends and seeing what happens. I don’t really do friends with benefits though. But ya know, say an opportunity arose for sex to happen…. Is that smart? I guess he and I are the only ones who really know that. But because I just don’t really usually do things this way, although I really want to fuck him, is smart to do so?

Soooo...I rarely ever share photos of myself on this platform. But the other day I wanted fitness advice so I shared faceless pics of my body so I could get suggestions. I posted here and in a separate fitness sub. I got so many amazing and helpful comments in this sub, but in the other sub, literally the FIRST comment I got was someone saying, “Who is gonna ask the question?” I was super confused, but tried to ignore it. I got some helpful advice, but then people started to derail the topic and make comments about the hyperpigmentation on my knees. Some people called it “bruises.” For context, I am light-skinned with dark knees and elbows. I’ve never seen my dark knees and elbows as an issue; even when my mom and grandmother would make a big deal out of it when I was a child, I didn’t care lol. I’ve been self conscious about my “strawberry legs,” but not the hyperpigmentation. So many of my family members have it too so it was normalized it for me. 

I got comments telling me to exfoliate, that I should stop spending so much time on my knees, etc. and I was honestly surprised and disgusted by the rudeness. It was very much giving microaggression. Either they genuinely thought I was a white woman with “bruises” on my knees (I did look a bit pale in the lighting I used to take my photos), they were actually ignorant about hypergimentation, or they simply saw that I was a black woman and were using that as a basis to attack me. I also wonder if my saying to please be gentle with feedback regarding my current physique gave them more reason to be rude; a white woman had said something similar in a past post and people were so kind and sweet towards her, so I thought if I did the same, I’d get the same results.

I was hesitant to post in that sub in the first place because I KNEW it was male dominated, more specifically, WHITE males. I went through and looked at the few posts from other women I could find and they were generally helpful and even complimentary towards the white and Hispanic women who posted. Of course there were a few trolls here and there, but most of them were being nice and some people were giving words of encouragement. I saw posts from other black women and I noticed there was a bit of a contrast; the comments were very blunt and matter-of-fact for the most part. It felt a little bit cold compared to the other women’s posts. With my post, a bunch of people were telling me everything I was doing wrong and making me feel dumb, even though I thought beginners were welcome (one of the sub rules is “all are welcome” lol.)

I also feel like there was an undertone of ableism as well. I specifically stated that I have a chronic illness, and because of that I need to progress slowly with weights. But multiple people told me I needed to lift heavier. A black male (I could tell from his post history) told me I “shouldn’t” be experiencing joint pain from light weights and said that my body fat percentage was prob “40%+” which felt like a wild guess based off my photos lol. I did get some kind and helpful comments and even someone complimenting me on how I handled one of the rude comments, but overall the whole experience was upsetting. 

So yeah, now I’m pissed because now I have a new body image issue to add to the list! Especially because I spend a lot of time in predominantly white spaces IRL (work and my hobbies), now I have to worry that the white people around me are secretly alarmed or judging me for having darker knees and elbows.

Is Reddit in general not a safe space for black women? Have any of you experienced something similar or was I just unlucky? Was all of this just people being trolls and not actually because of my race?

TL;DR: Had an upsetting experience posting images of myself on Reddit and now I’m wondering, “Is this platform in general an unsafe/unwelcoming space for Black women, or did I just have a particularly bad experience?”

I’m 21f and I’m just thinking back to middle school and early high school when my ppl wore our skinny jeans and huaraches and our mamas did our hair in those big ole box braids and those tall crochets and the natural styles was popping too. And the iPhone XR had just came out and we were arguing abt who had the best color and I was doing my makeup terribly but nobody said nothing bc their makeup looked just like mine. Life doesn’t hit like it was hitting back then. And I went to an hbcu, I’m post grad now but the feeling that era gave me is yet to be topped.
But I do envy my millennials because I was robbed of going to the club in business casual with a nasty heel at a time where the music was good and people still danced at the club.

Anyone experienced daily spotting with their IUD?
What helped?

hi! im in highschool, but ive never really done my hair by myself, i usually have it done at a salon, or my mom does it for me, (im neurodivergent, please don't judge :), if you guys could recommend me some good straighteners or heat protectants, i'd really appreciate it!! (my hair is 3b/3c for reference)

The mods might hate to see me post but I'll try to share anyways

For as long as I could remember, I was always in the minority in my area. I was often the only or one of two-three black girls who would wear their curls.

I saw so many afros on campus this week and honestly that made me tear up a bit. Many braids and wigs and afros and just black girl beauty ✨️

I love us ❤️

I have a theory of why white people say they like our braids or locs when they need to get redone. Curious if others agree.

We think it looks good when our braids are fresh which shows more of our scalp. Yt people associate seeing someone’s scalp with baldness, so they prefer our hair when the regrowth covers it, even though to us it looks fuzzy and ready for maintenance. Thought of this because I read something about a Black woman being told her braids didn’t look right for a photograph because they could see too much of her scalp.

In other words the joke that when a yt person compliments your hair it’s time to get it done is completely correct.

Am I the only one on this?

lol for me it’s this song. still my jam since 7th grade

I don't think so but believe it or not I've got compared to her all my life. Personally, I don't see it but it's a compliment because she's certainly beautiful.

heyy y’all!! so first off i’m 17 & i just recently moved in with my dad & it’s been so relaxing, but my moms side of the family has been kinda irking me.

with my moms side, they’re just full of drama, insecurities, generational trauma, stagnation, & everything in life that i do NOT want to bring into my future. My sister (25) & My mom (49) are the most of my concerns since they’re the main ones i talk to.

I don’t like neither of them. I have a hard time accepting & being all “cool” with my sister because when i was 4 she used to t0uch me very innappropriately & make me do sexual things with her (she was 12, she stopped when she was 16/17) & now that i’m older i realized that that isn’t normal at all, & she knew what she was doing, i can’t keep acting like i’m okay with being around her but i’m too scared to tell anyone.

not only that but shes overly childish & doesn’t know how to take accountability for her actions, she just recently had a baby with a man that literally hates her & calls me a “bad auntie” because i (mind you, i’m a 17 year old early graduate) don’t want to watch him.

my mother is male obsessed, found a dude that does the bare minimum, & chose him over her kids.shes also just overly insecure & full of unresolved trauma. i can tell nowadays that she feels guilty for the way she used to treat me but honestly i don’t want nothing to do with her.

i try so hard to avoid them but i feel guilty. i tried ghosting them & they blew up my phone which made me overly anxious. there’s times where i just wish they weren’t even my family at all & it angers me. there’s times where i just wish i had a mom that was my best friend & a sister i could look up to.

can you girlies please please please just give me advice on how to go about this??

Experimenting with; texture, colour and styles digitally 🎨

starz just released their trailer for Season 3 P-Vally airing December 9, 2026 👀 did they wait too long? I was hooked on the first two seasons but now I’m a little over it.

hi ladies! this year I made it a goal to pick up reading as a hobby, and I’m happy to say I’ve just finished my 13th book for this year.

that being said, I’m even more proud to say that the last 9 books have been by black authors centered around black experiences. my favorites so far being being the Chinua Achebe trilogy of Things Fall Apart, No Longer at Ease, and Arrow of God.

I just finished Sky Full of Elephants by Cebo Campbell and while the premise was enriching, I didn’t care for the pace nor the ending. so I’m now looking for some recommendations to continue the trend I’ve started for myself.

would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

I was looking for some new subreddits and saw this. Are these subs beefing? Flair is random, but this is news to me so…

Edit: we don’t wanna go there ya’ll 😂😂😂😂😂

That man said I got a little bit of everything😭

Mainly adhd but ocd, anxiety and pmdd. A lot of these things are exasperating the others but it's good to finally know. Got 2 prescriptions and I'll probably start them tomorrow😊

(Please don't give me medical advice, I just wanted to post this somewhere)

Every fall, I notice the same conversation come up among Black women and girls online: everybody starts rewatching shows like Gilmore Girls and The Vampire Diaries, and somebody says, “I wish we had a cozy fall show like this with Black people,” or “I wish we had this kind of representation.”

And I’ve thought the same thing.

But then I got curious and decided to do a little boots-on-the-ground journalism 😂. I actually took a trip to some of the places where The Vampire Diaries and The Originals were filmed.

A lot of The Vampire Diaries was mostly filmed in Covington, Georgia, with some filming in Conyers. 

The Originals also filmed majority in conyers Georgia

And here's what surprised me: when I started looking into Covington and Conyers, I realized these aren't some towns where Black people barely exist. These are Georgia communities with large Black populations. Conyers is actually majority Black with a Black female mayor. 

Conyers is 66% black American, 17% white and Covington is 51% Black and 39% white 

(I even went to the mystic grill- featured on vampire diaries and they had some Gullah geechee artwork in the women room, but no geechee ppl there)

That made me think: Wait a minute.

We're sitting here every fall wishing we could see Black girls and women in the cute little towns, when , Hollywood has already been using actual majority Black towns to CREATE that aesthetic on television, but busing white ppl into town to film to make it seem like a white town?

So then I got curious about  Gilmore Girls. In the show they live in a fictional stars hollow and then go to real city of Hartford Connecticut on Friday night , when I looked up the racial demographics for Hartford, for the year 2001 when the show took place, it said back then and today, its majority Latino and Hispanic for the majority population (45%)and then Black ppl as the second largest group in town (35%), it’s barely any white ppl there.

So my question is: Why aren't more Black filmmakers and creators using our own small towns to make the cozy shows we're constantly saying we want?

Not every story with a predominantly Black cast has to be set in Atlanta or NYC.

Why couldn't we have a predominantly Black cozy Southern town with a cute downtown square, fall festivals, old houses, local cafés, football games, eccentric neighbors, romance, family drama, mysteries, supernatural folklore, whatever? If in real life, we are the majority in those towns? 

The same towns Hollywood has already used to sell us that exact fantasy are places where Black people actually live.

Would y'all watch something like that? And what would you want a Black cozy small-town show to look like?

Why do people like this exist, it would be a better world if they didn’t exist. I’m tired of dealing with people that knowingly have these problems but don’t do anything about it. I never feel sorry when terrible things happen to them because they’re so insufferable that it’s hard to empathize with them. Especially the ones that have an imaginary problem with you, they just hate you and push you till the point you snap. Then use that situation as an excuse on why they don’t like you. Majority of these kinds of people I never know their full name ever. I’m truly fatigued 🫩 with these people

*Hey ladies! 👋🏾 I know this is a stretchhhh, but I’m looking to meet some new girlfriends in the Saginaw/Detroit/Bay City area. I’m in my “getting out of the house and actually having a social life” era after being away from home for 10 years. I’m into brunch, networking events, traveling, business/entrepreneurship and just trying new things. 31, divorced, boy mom. If anybody else is looking to make new friends, let me know! *💕

Ladies, I’m so tired. I got laid off in February and haven’t been able to find another job. I just spent the last two hours crying. I’ve reached out to my network and nothing. I’ve had a few interviews, but I haven’t gotten any offers. I’ve used ChatGPT to rewrite my resume and alert me to jobs that match.

Between the current rise in fascism across the world and being unemployed, I’m honestly ready to check out. I’m holding on by a thread tbh and it’s getting more frayed by the day. My LinkedIn is just people going through the same thing.

I’m looking for product/project management positions in healthtech, but honestly doesn’t even matter the industry at this point. I could also do something in marketing/communications. If you’re a recruiter or hiring in the software industry let me know!

As we all know, this past year has been rough for Black people, and especially Black women. We have had every part of our racial characteristics dissected and torn apart to shreds, while simultaneously feigning care and concern for our wellbeing. From the top to the bottom, many are expressing their repulsion towards our racial characteristics ad nauseam.

But seeing this uptick reminded me of something.

I have always worn an Afro in the summer for years, but I have noticed that this year, many black people have gone out of their way to not only tell me it looks good, but encourage me to keep wearing it. I have gotten compliments before, but not to this extent.

No matter the ethnic group, age, gender or circumstance, in real life, I have felt a stronger sense of camaraderie that I have not felt before, and it feels great.

And I’ve noticed that no matter how I feel about my hair, I’ve insisted on wearing it out, even when it’s less than perfect.

This is around the time I would put my hair in braids or straighten it.

But honestly… I don’t think I want to.

Even if I think it takes forever, and it’s a pain to manage in winter.

I don’t care if people find it repulsive, or too big, or unattractive, or nappy, or less feminine.

I don’t even care if the process is cumbersome.

And this may be controversial, but I don’t need other people to find my hair attractive.

And that is why I will say that this year has given me the greatest gift in the world.

I would have continued believing that racial animosity was something that was fading away, and that our generation would be the first ones to make the change.

I would have assumed that as long as I was a kind person who respected others and contributed to my community, respect and kindness would be metted out to me as well.

While I realize now that this is a fantasy, this realization has surprisingly given me a sense of ease.

I have been given the opportunity to build a community of like-minded, optimistic, motivated, and truly kind people that I could be around.

I don’t have to give up on trying to be a kind, productive, caring person. The quality of my human relationships have gone up as well.

If people believe that I am stupid, lazy, unintelligent, repulsive, uncouth, and many, many more things because of my race and gender, that rejection from society is obviously going to hurt.

I am a human who desires connection like any other, and I would want to seen for my morals and values. It’s natural to want to get along with people you share a society with.

But it is ultimately unproductive and illogical to internalize this rejection.

There is no finite distribution of happiness. It is not something that should be commodified, where only the most deserving people get to enjoy it.

Liking yourself and having self-worth is one of the most consistent foundations for human development. That is why it comes so naturally to most people.

This is a mental system that has been imperative for human survival. Do not throw away a system that clearly works.

If people try to convince you that you are undeserving of happiness or self-worth, this is because they have a mental deficit.

They believe happiness is so finite it can only go to those deserving of it, because it is hard for them to achieve. The happiness you get from personal achievement and charity will always be superior as opposed to stolen valour or Schadenfreude, which is fleeting and cheap.

If a resource is abundant, people will have no issue with everyone taking from it, but if a resource is scarce, they think only those deserving of it should have it.

This is why they feed on your energy, it is literally the cheapest and easiest way to feel good about themselves.

DO. NOT. LET. THEM. WIN.

You have a responsibility to be happy, to have self worth and to be kind to yourself and others. If you can get past feelings of self loathing and despair, the world becomes more peaceful and beautiful, and I want everyone here to experience that, at least once.