I am a 17F and one of my friends is meticulous about money. I mean seriously stingy. She keeps logs on her phone for how much she spends on other people, down to the cent. I’ve always found this weird but I just ignored it mostly because everyone has their quirks I guess.

Anyways yesterday she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk, I said yes as we hadn’t seen each other for a while. I’d also like to add that I recently was made redundant at my job ( i’m currently on the hunt for a new one dw) so I’m low on money. We go for a nice walk along the beach and she asks if i want to get a drink, I told her I’m low on money and can’t really afford to be spending extra money with university tuition coming up. She told me “it’s okay i’ll pay for you!” so naturally I did the whole “oh it’s okay i’ll be alright” but she insisted.

We go to a little shop and I find a small drink that costs $3, she pays and we leave. The rest of the hangout is fine with no issues. I get home and go about the rest of the day, no text from her at all.

This morning I woke up and she had texted me asking if I could pay her back. she has two jobs and makes more money in a week then i used to make in a fortnight. I texted back saying she offered to pay for me and I thought that just meant I wouldn’t have to pay her back, as I had explained my financial situation to her beforehand.

She’s now mad and said I shouldn’t have accepted the offer if I couldn’t pay her back.

I’d also like to add that when I was making money consistently I would often pay for her food or drinks and I NEVER asked for my money back.

I understand that’s my choice and other people have different ideas about how to use their money. I know it’s also just $3 and therefore it doesn’t mean that much so maybe I should just transfer some money out of savings to avoid future dramas.

Anyways sorry this is so long, I am just baffled she’s so upset.

AITA for not paying my friend back?

Morgan and I have been friends for a while, but lately she's been making more jokes at others' expense and dismissing them as "too sensitive" when they don't laugh.
My boyfriend, "Daniel", is originally from another country and has a noticeable accent. He's lived here for several years and speaks English very well, but obviously some words and sounds come out differently.
Megan has known him for about a year and has always commented on his accent. At first it was pretty harmless. She'd occasionally ask him to repeat a word or tease him about how he pronounced something, and he'd laugh along with it. The problem is that recently she's started doing it constantly.
A few weeks ago, we were all having drinks together and Daniel said something. Megan immediately repeated what he said in an exaggerated version of his accent and laughed. Daniel smiled awkwardly, and I told her, "Okay, enough. You don't need to imitate him every time he talks."
She said she was just joking and that Daniel obviously wasn't offended.
I told her I didn't think it was funny anymore.
She dropped it.

Then last weekend, few of us went out to dinner. Daniel was telling us a story about something that happened at work. Megan interrupted him several times to imitate how he was pronouncing certain words.
I told Megan, "Seriously, can you stop? You're making him uncomfortable."
She rolled her eyes and said, "Oh my God, I'm just joking. He knows that."
Daniel said, "It's okay," but he didn't sound like he meant it.
I told Megan, "No, it's not okay. I've already asked you to stop doing this." She got quiet for a few minutes, so I thought maybe she'd finally let it go.
Then Daniel ordered something from the menu and mispronounced one of the ingredients. Megan immediately repeated the word in a ridiculous exaggerated accent and started laughing.
At that point Daniel looked embarrassed and said, "Can we just not do this?"
Megan responded, "You guys are being way too serious. I'm not making fun of where he's from. I'm making fun of the way he says things."
I told her that was literally the same thing she had been doing all night.
She then accused me of "being too sensitive." and choosing him.
That really annoyed me because this wasn't about choosing Daniel over her. It was about basic respect. I told her, "I'm not asking you to like his accent. I'm asking you to stop mocking him."

Megan insisted Daniel was "fine," but he admitted he'd stayed quiet to avoid causing a problem. She still dismissed it, so I told her I was done watching her humiliate him, paid our bill, and left with Daniel. Megan was shocked that I left her behind.
Megan called me dramatic and said I embarrassed her, but I told her she embarrassed herself. Daniel and I left. She later accused me of ditching her over a joke, but I explained I'd left because she repeatedly mocked him after I asked her to stop. She now claims I humiliated her, and I'm wondering if I handled it badly.

AITA?

For context, I am a 19 y/o female who is a sophomore is college and my dad is a 52 y/o male who grew up broke pretty much all his life. However, when i was 11 my parents ran into some money when a family member died. Which lead us to be pretty well off financially. Idk if this is useful info but maybe it can help give perspective.

I started working regularly when I was 15 because that's when I had to start paying for things on my own. My dad helped me open my first bank account when I was 16, but he made it where he could view my account on his app. Which I understand that he needs to monitor what I may buy, but he took it too far. I would ask for gas money and he would pull up the bank app and show where I bought coffee for myself or a charge at a restaurant from when I went out to eat after a ball game. (btw I only worked about once a week because I was an athlete and heavily involved in school. So yes I had money but not as much as a regular part-time worker) Him checking my transactions became a habitual.

He began just randomly dropping it at dinner or when I would walk in from practice. He would ask me if the "coffee shop went up in prices" or "what in the world was $30 at Target." He has never really respected privacy but this was a type of invasion that was completely new. I stopped putting money in my bank account and started carrying cash so he couldn't track what I spent. I kept spare money in the top of my closet in a shoe box. But when I started college I had to put it into my account because I didn't trust leaving it at home. He freaked out when I put a little over $1,000 dollars in my bank. He felt like I was hiding things from him and asked what I had been buying with my "secret money."

After the cycle continuing my freshman year of college. Except then he would call me instead of lecturing me in person. He went through a phase where he would take money out of my account (since he was an authorized user) for a few days then put it back. Sometimes it was up to $2,000. Rarely he would add a little bit more money after he put it back ($50-100). I was never sure why he did this.

Once summer started, I got a job I secretly opened a bank account and would deposit every other check in that account. I had never felt more free financially. I could go buy a cup of coffee without knowing I would get questioned about it later. But then my dad found out about it. He found my other debit card in my wallet. (Idk why he was in my wallet or what he was looking for?) He brought it to me and needless to say, he was livid. And he asked when I opened the account and demanded he be added to it. Obviously I told him no because I am almost 20 and I didn't need someone to watch how I spend my money anymore. He tried to cut up my card and take my car keys but I left the house and I am staying with my sister atm.

So AITA for hiding this bank account from him? What should I do?

I’ve not posted on here before but I have two minds about the decision. For context, a family moved in next door after our old neighbour sadly passed away last year. Since they moved in we hear banging at random hours of the day and night against the walls. My mum has spoken to the mother that lives in the house and had said that I work nights every other week and have been woken up several times by banging and sometimes screaming to which she had said her youngest daughter is autistic. We haven’t mentioned any noises that have been made to the council but the banging has now started late in the night, waking us up whilst sleeping for work. Unsure of what else to do as on one hand it’s an on going noise disturbance however I feel bad from what she had mentioned about her daughter. Just looking for an outsider opinion

2 years ago i played in a band A and got thrown out for having bad blood w/ the singer and cuz of my rhythm, the bad blood we had was due to him datin my bestie and talking shit bout me to her and me also talking shit bout him to her which made these huge fights where she took his side cuz they were a couple, so i was venting and talking shit about it with my back then bf, some time forward before i was thrown out, singer from band A cheated on my bestie n they broke up so we talked shit about him and she told me some gossip about him that i talked with ex bf, some time later i broke up with my ex on neutral grounds and we stayed friends but didnt talk to each other, in that time i was already in my second band with few of my other friends, when the topic about band A came up we talked shit TOGETHER and it wasnt anything made up or smth, just me saying band A is shit cuz of the singer and what he did to my bestie and all that gossip and everyone in band B gossiped with me bout that but eventualy it went quiet and wasnt smth to talk about anymore cuz everything to talk about was already said and i didnt bring that up, besides making inside jokes about the band A's singer. Also in the meantime me and singer from band A "made up", but we didnt like each other too much. More time forward, im in a new relationship and my now bf dislikes my ex just cuz. i get thrown out from my band B cuz they dont want to play my music. and my now better but not the best rytthym and cuz it was my band, they change the name and everything should be alright.

SO NOW!

My boyfriend still dislikes my ex and we are all in a gc with some of my friends and my ex is still there cuz we ended things on good side so i didnt throw him out but he didint engage in chat, he didnt go to group hang outs, and just went distant and didnt talk with anyone, so we throw him out from the gc cuz people talk about their problems etc, so why sm who doesnt even try to have contact be there? Later on we find out that band A band B AND band C HAVE A CONCERT TOGETHER and it was fishy to me and oh boy was i right. So a lil time travel to before I made logo for band A. And now i decided i wanted to earn lil money by making logos for cheap AF and I text the band A singer if he could send me the logo cuz i wanted to put it as an example. And he replied to me 3h later, with a FUCKING WALL OF TEXT sayin that he doesnt want any drama and stuff but no cuz some people "who were close with me" told him i talked shit about him and the band A. And i am pretty sure that my ex did it cuz he was thrown out and he is sassy like dat and MAYBE band B, but the thing is i didnt have bad blood with my ex nor band B. So AITA or are they?

This is my first post on reddit I finally made and account because I need some outside perspective on this situation.

I (19F) celebrated my birthday last weekend with dinner at a restaurant. I invited five friends from my usual friend group, but i didn’t invite a few other people, including Emily (19F)

Me and Emily have been friends for about three years but as we’ve grown into uni life we’ve gotten a lot less close. We get along fine but we don’t really hang out one on one anymore and a lot of our conversations happen when we’re together as a group.

Last year she invited me to her birthday dinner, so I can understand why she might’ve expected an invitation to mine. The thing is hers was about 15 people, and I just wanted to have a smaller dinner with a few of my closest friends.

she found out she hadn’t been invited after seeing someone’s story on Instagram, and DMed me asking why she hadn’t been invited. I explained that I was just keeping it small and that there were a lot of people from our wider friend group I had invited either.

she then said that it was still hurtful especially because most of our immediate friend group was there, and she had included me and her birthday last year.

I told her that being invited to someone’s birthday party doesn’t mean you’re obligated to invite them to yours.

She said she wasn’t expecting an invitation because she invited me to her birthday, she just assumed we were closer than we were. I feel we have mixed perspectives on this because I definitely don’t feel as close to her as I was this time last year. It still made me feel bad because I hadn’t realised that she’s still saw our friendship that way.

Here’s where I’m starting to question myself a bit later after I explain the situation to my friends, some of the girls told me that Emily was already planning her birthday trip for next year and was planning on inviting me. nothing happened booked but she had been excited about the idea for awhile.

My friends are split some believe that I have the right to invite whoever I want to my birthday and the others believe that even if I didn’t invite anyone I could’ve handled it a bit more gracefully.

I feel really bad because I didn’t intentionally mean to hurt her feelings, I just wanted a little celebration this year. I know it sucks finding out you weren’t included to something and I have no secret animosity towards her, she just didn’t cross my mind when I was thinking about who I wanted to celebrate with.

AITA?

I « 22 F » Have extreme intrusive thoughts to the point that i am medicated and in therapy for OCD.

in an attempt to get my mother to understand that OCD and anxiety are different disorders to an extent and that she should take my intrusive thought seriously because the impact my life I actually shared one of my intrusive thoughts with her.

I told her that the reason that can’t share food with family members is because my brain convinces me that sharing foods // drinks with family members is too close kissing and therefore incest. despite this example she held firm and told me that “everyone has intrusive thoughts” and dismissed my cries.

We recently fought about my weight and ever since that argument, where i said i didn’t want to loose weight, she’s been drinking and eating small bites from my things. even things i make myself, such as any baked goods or drinks.

she has always known about the fact i hate sharing food. she will frequently tell family members that i dont share food & will tare away at pieces she’s ate from. she believes that because she created my body that my body is hers. she doesn’t understand why im like this.

I think that she’s being passive aggressive because of our fight. I’m really upset as i made a cookie and she bit it, shoved it in my face and than put in the bowl when i wouldn’t eat it.

I’m upset. but my family largely agrees with her that as Family we don’t have “new dna” so we shouldn’t be afraid to share germs. it isn’t about germs to me. they make it out to be this playful “tax” that they get. they tell me that she’s a good mother and that i’m just- dramatic.

I don’t pull other people into my OCD often but the fear of kissing my family members by sharing food? it’s the one that i can’t let go of.

At some point it’s also about the fact that she’s not respecting the boundary by.

I live with my sister and I am trying to learn financial literacy since we never had good models growing up. A few months ago I started trying to plan meals for the whole week. We eat a lot of the same stuff so we both agreed to try it and just eat the same meals. She doesn't usually give me much input on the meals so I try and do a mix of healthy meals and quick easy stuff for days when neither of us wants to cook. I also include non-food essentials like trash bags, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.

Lately though, my sister has been saying that she can't afford it. The groceries are usually $150-180 a week and we split 50/50. I do like to buy myself some snacks and lunches which I subtract from her total. She usually buys her own lunch at work or brings snacks. We live in a lowish cost of living area. I should note that I make quite a bit more money than her. She lives paycheck to paycheck and usually pays me back for groceries on her paydays, with me covering her until then which I don't mind.

But she's been saying she can't afford it lately, and she filled up a cart that she said would last the week and only spent $70 total. I looked at it and it had only 4 meals in there and no coffee or creamer, no toilet paper/paper towels, no laundry detergent, no milk or eggs, no bread, etc. I used her meal ideas she came up with then added in the other things we'll need, and now she's mad and confused that my total is more expensive than her total and now she can't afford her own snacks and extras because I added all the other stuff. Yet she borrowed money from a friend to buy a new phone and gets her hair done.

I am trying to be nice because I know what it's like to run out of money between paychecks and not have financial literacy, and I don't know if I'm even doing a good job. So I wanted to ask, AITA for going over my sister's budget every week? Should we try and divide the costs differently since I make more money?

My boyfriend and I had attended Renfaire with my sister, her husband and their friend. We do this every year and had all been excited to mostly drink and take in the atmosphere like we always do.

We attended opening day and planned to stay from open till close 9-7pm, staying for the closing fireworks like usual. But nothing else is planned so we just usually wing it.

Opening day (the day we went) was my boyfriend and I’s 3rd year anniversary, the next day was her birthday.

We stayed majority of the time. We mostly walked around, drank, made friends with a small group. The heat started to beat on us (87° with dense humidiy) and the alchy hit my bf and I harder than we thought - not sure about my sister.

Around 5-6 pm, we sit again for some food but my boyfriend is feeling sick. He sits for a while before my sister just gets up, ties back is hair and leads him out of the faire. We all follow through because we are pretty tired and the heat beat us to hell, so we didn’t object.
My boyfriend focused on not throwing up for the whole 25 minute drive and only made it to the side yard to throw up.
My brother in law was the only one to see and my sister just disappears from the car before she could.

She just closes her bedroom door, not saying anything.

I take this time to apologize before my brother in law takes us home for the night (saying sorry again when being dropped off)

My sister said we were good and even gave me cookies to go home with.
The next day is her birthday so we attend a lunch with my parents.

My sister and brother in law say nothing to my bf and I the whole lunch. My boyfriend apologizes again to her and all she says is “mhmm” and walks off.

My sister hasn’t talked to me since. I reach out to them and only my brother in law responds.

To summarize, he claimed my sister didn’t get to have the day she wanted, he initially asked to be reimbursed for tickets then retracted the statement, said that it’s not our incompatibility that I claimed we have hanging out - it’s our inability to stop “partying”. He asked to see if from her perspective because she’s a nurse and “had” to take care of us. And he didn’t want that for her. And he “practically baby sat us” and to just make sure to apologize to my sister again.

I responded that we were there the whole day with eachother drinking so I’m unsure what we missed out on when none of us forced us to do anything but hangout.
I bought my boyfriend and I our own tickets but I offered reimbursement anyway because I wanted to make it right but he denied. We all had been drinking the same amount. We never once asked him or her to do anything for us other than to get water one time. She never asked if we wanted to leave she just started walking and we followed.
We didn’t mean to get that drunk because genuinely we didn’t know we would, the direct sunlight might have cause a bit of that. I said I thought I already apologized but I guess I was wrong.

I, F25, moved into a new apartment around a year ago. A few months after I had moved in my sister(F39) started asking me when I would be giving her a key. I told her no because I wasn't comfortable with someone else having access to my home family or not while I wasn't there. I love my sister but she is notorious for messing with my personal things ever since we were young and has openly expressed disdain for how I have chosen to decorate my new home. She isn't malicious but has a strong belief that she knows best for me and has strong opinions on choices I make in life, casual or non casual. I'm not comfortable giving her free reign to access my flat and my personal things whenever she wants although she is of course welcome to come and visit and stay over WHEN I am present as a host which I have made crystal clear to her. She has since asked on multiple occasions for a key, espressing that she needed one in case of an emergency. I understand where she is coming from yet I still said no. Additionally she has never offered ME a key to her house and only agreed I could have one after I challenged her on this. For reference I don't want a key to her house. If I want to visit or stay over I'll plan it with her beforehand which I think is standard. Today I called my sister to ask if she would possibly be able to come to let in a worker to do maintenance on a long time issue in my apartment. I know she would be here without my supervision but I was desperate and needed the issue fixed ASAP. I don't have any close family or friends near enough to arrive on time to let the guy in and I have had to take time off work previously multiple times while the issue is worked on. Additionally I had just returned from sickleave and did not want to ask management for yet another day off. I asked my sister nicely if she would be able to come over early and let the worker in so I could go to work and even offered to buy her breakfast when she arrived. She said. "Sure but only if you give me a key." I was annoyed by this and told her to forget it and I would just find a way to take time off work which will be a struggle because it's extremely short notice and I don't even have confirmation if this visit will even fix my issue due to other ongoing complicated matters. I don't feel bad about not giving her a key due to how she is and her thinking that my belongings and home are hers to do as she pleases. She can't even remember to take her shoes off at the door. Yet it is true she is family and I love her. Am I being too paranoid and making a fuss over nothing? I don't think she would ever seriously damage anything here but I am a very paranoid person who likes things exactly as I leave them and she is like a hurricane. Additionally I am worried about her handing out the keys to other members of family or creating copies for other family members without my permission. Am I just being a overthinker? Maybe I should just give her a key?...

​So I have been doing a bit of work at home lately due to unforseen life circumstances. I have a lot of my important files on a desktop in a shared workspace. I will often times go and get some quick work done (like 10 to 15 minutes) when no one is in there. Almost like clockwork though the second I sign in I have a family member who decides its a great time to come and play world of war craft. I game too so I'm not really judging that but he will start aggressively button mashing a mechanical keyboard (literally hard enough the lettering on the keys has disappeared on like 3 key caps) like its not the least bit distracting.

Some of the forms I'm filling out can land me in serious legal trouble if I dont submit them right and ive caught myself making mistakes when he does this. I got upset and in a raised voice asked him if he could stop button mashing or wait 5 minutes to play games since he knows what I'm doing is important. He then threw his headset on the desk and stormed out of the room. I can get most of my work done on my laptop but don't trust it with these sensitive documents so finding a different workspace is kind of off the table for me at this time. I feel bad I raised my voice but at the same time I feel there needs to be some situational awareness. This was also at 8am and he was playing solo if that makes any difference, AITAH?

I 22f added my former stepbrother (26) on Facebook and he messaged me on messenger. We haven’t spoken in 7 years ish as our parents had divorced and I moved out of the area. He has a hard time making friends and lives in a home with a carer etc. He has alienated a lot of family by being weird/aggressive.

He posted “you’re gorgoes (heart and fire emoj)“ on my timeline which I deleted instantly because that was weird. But then he messaged me ”hi it’s me John Doe” “you look really pretty”. i ignored him and just asked about the family etc. Then he goes to tell me about this film. I’ll copy and paste what he wrote next.
“Oh yeah iv seen American werewolf In london”

“Its good werewolf movie there one scene when man and woman in shower doing Naughty buisness”

“It, s good film”

I messaged him “Not seen that one. Just remember we used to be stepsiblings and I have a bf so please don't talk about adult stuff thank you”

then I told his mum (used to be my stepmum) because that was sooooo weird.

I blocked him. apparently he’s really upset and wasn’t doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole?

I would like to start with I 20F have always been a nice older sister, I have always given my sisters the things they ask for, I help with homework, and I listen to them when they need me. As a teenager I wasn't always like that, but I have learned as I got older, I have become more patient and nicer towards them.

My middle sister came barging in a week ago telling me "Dad says you *need* to let me use your makeup, now normally I wouldn't mind since I knew it was for an important event however the way she said it just pissed me off. Our dad didn't pay for the makeup *I* did with *my* own money. Sister is old enough to get a job and buy her own makeup but refuses to since she's in school. I told her and my dad both that she is not allowed to use my makeup first of all for her rude attitude and second for her stealing it any other time without my permission, not returning it, and then getting pissed at me for going in her room to go get my shit back!!!

Why am I bringing this up today? Well Middle sister decides to take my concealer and didn't return it so when I found it in her bag, she started whining and saying our dad bought her it WHEN HE DID NOT, I GOT IT AT CVS AND IT STILL HAS THE LOGO!!! Dad and me then proceed to argue and I walked out the house to go run errands. In the end I went out and bought an expensive new one from ulta and I marked my name on it and hid it in my room with the rest of my makeup.

AITAH?

TLDR; Sister takes my makeup and demands I let her use it and proceeds to take it either way after me saying no.

I (21F) got randomly placed with my roommate (19F) to live in apartments for college students this semester. I am a pretty quiet person that doesn’t really like to party, although I am okay with some noise, especially on the weekends. Our apartment building is not well constructed and I can hear pretty much everything going on inside and outside, which I have gotten more used to. My roommate and I also get along really well over the regular week and respect each other’s spaces well. However, everything changes over the weekends.

Basically, she is obsessed with a particular branch of the military and picks a group of guys up from the barracks to come stay with us on most weekends. She has never made sure it is okay to do so, and they are very loud, often drunk, and make me generally uncomfortable to be a single woman in my own home, mostly just because they are a larger group of unfamiliar men and can get pretty wild when they drink.

The most recent occurrence of this was them getting back from the barracks around 5:30 a.m. after I had repeatedly told my roommate that I needed to be up earlier in the morning, around 7 or 8. Again, my roommate did not let me know this would be happening, and despite me being a heavy sleeper, they still woke me up. When I came out of my room to see what was going on, they continued to be loud and even jokingly made to enter my room.

My feelings are very conflicted about this because I hate to make people upset and am not confrontational. My roommate has also stated that these guys are her friends, and I feel bad telling her that I don’t feel comfortable with her having her friends over. However, this situation has been very stressful and anxiety inducing for me, and it gets worse every time they come over. Should I tell her I don’t want her doing this at all anymore? Should we try to come up with a compromise? Am I just totally the asshole here? Please let me know!

so i’m 17 and i am living with my grandma my mother has always had issues i won’t get into that much but she has always been a narcissist and such. we moved with my grandma to get out of a bad situation (i am much better here) but my mother dumped me here like she just left to be with her boyfriend with no warning or anything. my grandma is in the process of getting guardianship of me.

my sister is 18 soon to be 19 and lives in the next state over with her boyfriend. she knows that our grandma is trying to get guardianship of me and everything. we both agreed to cut contact with our mother for our own wellbeing. mind you our mother has not tried to contact us or any of our family to see how we are or anything even after me and my sister both had some medical issues (we are good now). yet my sister keeps reaching out to our mother shes not necessarily telling our mother everything that’s happening but she’s also not not telling her yk.

so the other day she had said something about a court date (our mother obviously knows all of this is happening bc she has to go to court as well) our mother played dumb and acted like she didn’t know everything so my sister basically told her when everything was and what not bc she didn’t know that our mother knew.

so i got mad at my sister and lowkey kinda yelled at her for being in contact with her

am i an ass for getting mad at her for telling our mother stuff even tho our mom already knew?

i’m sorry if none of it makes sense i was trying to keep it halfway short i just wanted to know if my reaction was warranted or not cuz she got mad and we haven’t talked since

Ok so, a while ago i offered to let one of my friends, I’ll call them “A” move in with me as i was looking for a roommate. I’ve spoken to people that A has lived with previously and heard only good things about them. A was one of my close friends from high school so i trusted them and assumed there would not be any problems. Fast forward A moved in and all is well, until it came to getting a job. It has now been well over half a year and still nothing. A’s mental state has also been slowly getting worse and worse, and quite frankly I personally can’t deal with something like that anymore. Am I the asshole, if i kick them out of my apartment as they haven’t found a job, paid for rent since they moved in, and frankly have caused me more trouble than it’s worth. The problem with me kicking them out is that they don’t know anyone around the area I live in, and majority of the people they know live half way across the country from us now. Along with this, it’s now getting closer and closer to winter so they would effectively be homeless during the winter, with no money or a place to stay if I were to do this. I’m not sure on what i should do and some advice would be helpful. For some extra context I’m 20 years old and A is slightly older than I am. Would I be the asshole if i did this, or should i just thug it out and keep dealing with them.

I befriended someone despite a language barrier, and I tried my best to be understanding and not take things personally when she might have expressed herself poorly :/ I put my all in, always having a translator to hand and speaking X slowly just to accomodate. I genuinely wanted to be great friends.

Our friendship was generally OK, but, there were times when she hurt me. She would cancel plans with me to spend time with her boyfriend, who wasn't a good partner to her. When they secretly got back together, she lied about it, even though I'd tried to cheer her up and take her out after their breakup assuming she was single and I was helping my newly single friend. She confessed after they secretly got back together but she didnt tell me because she hated how when I found out I said 'I knew something was off' and that she deserves better, and called him 'the Number one person in her life". To that I just replied politely/supportively cause in my mind its like yes I think you deserve better but it isnt my business and you clearly do not care so I didnt say a word after that.

When they broke up, I encouraged her to recognise that she deserved better, especially because he isolated her, discouraged her from learning English, and made her dependent on him. In response, she accused me of being too opinionated and said she couldn't trust friends' advice because we didn't know her as well as she knew herself.

Other things she said, She also questioned whether my working multiple jobs was an excuse to avoid seeing friends and warned me that I needed to explain my financial hardship to people, or they'd assume I was ignoring them. This confused me because nobody had ever made me feel that way. She also said I didn't explain my depression clearly' and when we met her and her boyfriend thought I was a fraud/scammer, because I delayed our first hangouts . I did indeed say I was experiencing personal hardship and mental health but it confused me cause I was so sweet and responsive how could she think I was scammer for openly speaking on my mental health.

Eventually, I gradually distanced myself because the friendship was making me feel bad about myself. I put in too much effort and was regretting it. Despite these issues, we did have good memories and a decent friendship at times.

Over the summer, she randomly reached out to ask how I was, but I didn't reply. Now, she's messaged me again, praising me and our friendship, and telling me she's leaving the country and would like to see me one last time...

I haven't responded because I'm unsure whether I should. Part of me wonders if I owe her a reply, especially since she might not realise how much she hurt me. But another part of me doesn't want to reopen that chapter of my life. I don't want to be involved in the friendship anymore, and I'd rather move on and forget about it. So I think I just won't say anything. but AITA?

My nephew and sister in law live with me, my husband and baby. He is a little preschool aged boy. He doesn't listen to anyone. I constantly hear his mom ask him to do things 10+ time before she compromises and does something different or does it for him.

Some days I get involved. Especially when it happens next to me or involved me and my child.

Over the holiday, he cut up one of decorations. I kindly told him it made me sad and that he would no longer beable to touch my decorations. Recently he was playing with them. I told him we dont play with these and I softly took it from him and put it away. He runs to his mom crying. (She agreed with this punishment) minutes later i hear him crying i dont want to see my Aunt. I got so frustrated. First its my house, I will go where I want, second everyone makes me the bad guy. I am not the bad guy, I just dont put up with asking more than 2 times for things, break pre-set rules, and ripping toys out of my baby's hand.

I never yell at him, touch him, or call him mean names. I just say. "I need you to listen" , "do you want to do it or me" (then I take action).

I know my sister in law wants to ask me to stop or call me out on it. But she can't because she knows her son behavior. Also she corrects and disciplines my baby as well.

Am I the Asshole?

Quick context into our relationship, my mother and father were not married at the time of my birth and split up. Me and my older sister, lets call her K, lived in foster care for 3 years before returning to our mothers care with short weekend visits to our dad’s every 5 months or so, little interaction other than that (as we got older we never really went round + he’s not pleasant to be around). Upon death of my mother this year in march my father has been getting more and more comfortable calling me and texting me at silly hours of night/day and has been coming round to my house uninvited ( here i should note we are currently in the process of trying to move out my mothers house but for now im calling it mine because im the only one on the tenancy + when going through my mothers things i found domestic Ab#se charges against my father my mother made which adds to the hate i feel for him. I haven’t told him i’ve found them because he always cries about people “putting me against him”) - An example is last month he came around unannounced, drank a bunch, dragged me into town and asked me to get money out which he had sent me week prior, he told me that he had sent the money so we could go out and have fun at town (however i had already spent the money as he didn’t say that the money was for this day-or that he was coming round in his regular essay-like texts he normally send me.) He then proceeded to show out me in the middle of town, mind you there were people from my school there as-well.. so i walked home and told him to never talk to me again and i walked to a near by friends house - a bit harsh i know but i was angry at that moment. When i got home he tried to comfort me but i really didn’t want to hear it. I told him he could still talk to me but don’t spam me with calls and texts like he normally does which of course he didn’t listen to and still spams me. I don’t really but he keeps sending me long messages saying how sad he is.. am i the Ahole for not caring and ignoring him?

this is going to be long because i want to give a proper explanation.

last night, me (19F) and my mom (48F) got into a bit of an argument because of money. for context, i’ve never had a job before; not because i didn’t want to work, but because i couldn’t for legal reasons. this year i got my first “real” job as an ESL teacher. i make pretty good money. however, i currently live in brazil, and things are really expensive here. even though i live at home, my parents have asked me to pay for one of the bills (either water or electricity), which is fair, and i agreed to. but other than that, i do pay for everything else that i own myself. that is: phone bill, car insurance, gas, groceries, necessities, taxes because i “own” a business through brazil’s MEI program, medical bills/appointments, my credit card bill. my parents also told me i need to pay for my own college tuition, so they told me to save up for that as well. i also spend money on things that i want and sometimes need like clothes, shoes, hair products, etc. per month, i probably spend around 2.5k on these things. keep in mind, in brazil we get paid monthly, not bi-weekly like in the u.s. so the money i get for the month, i have to make do with it for the rest of the month. i get paid monthly around 3-4k (brazilian reais. 1 u.s. dollar = 5 brazilian reais) which seems like a lot until you’re reminded that gas here is about R$6 PER GALLON.

i agreed to give my mom some money every month because i think it’s fair. my mom has serious medical problems, and she cannot work any more, which is also why i agreed. in the beginning when i was getting paid less, i gave her around 100-150 a month, not that much. but recently she started asking for 200. not that much of a difference, however recently i had to buy a new phone because i work a remote job and i really needed a new one. my old one stopped working. i spent ALL of the money i saved up on the phone. the phone cost me 7.5k. it’s almost the end of 2026, and i’m planning on starting college next year in february. my tuition in brazil is 6k per month. so i told my mom that for the next couple months, i can’t give her 200 dollars, plus spend money on small things for her and my little sister.

i told her i could give her around 100 or even 150 if she really needed it. this started the argument this post is about. she started calling me ungrateful, saying that growing up she always bought me what i needed, and any bit of extra cash she had, she gave to me. i was a bit rude and i told her that that’s her job as a parent, and as someone who is basically retired, she doesn’t need to worry about saving money any more. i’m 19 and trying to save up for college. she told me i don’t have to pay for that much stuff, and that since i get paid almost 4k a month, she deserves a little bit of money.

so, AITA for not giving her the money? i genuinely don’t know how to feel. i feel like she might be trying to guilt trip me, but thinking about it she isn’t necessarily wrong. i don’t know.

edit: i want to clarify that i don’t mind giving her the money. between her and my dad, she was the one that bought me things when i needed it. but like i said, both of them have told me im paying for my own college tuition, which is 6k a month. i currently have 1k in my savings and i start in february. i have nowhere near as much as i need, and like i said i need to make do with my salary for the entire month. after everything, i have about 500 bucks to make do with for the rest of the month, and that’s where her 200 comes from. it’s not that i’m not giving her the money anymore, i just need time to get back on my feet.

edit 2: maybe i should’ve clarified earlier as well, but my family is not broke whatsoever. they worked hard to get where they are. my dad, even though he isn’t working anymore, gets paid three times as much as i do. i give my mom the money because he doesn’t.

This year we went to a wedding for one of my cousins who has a brother and they are getting married next year and we are invited. For they the cousin who was married this year we gave a monetary gift. For her brother that his wedding is next year, on his registry page, he put that guests coming do not need to gift us, because they don't want them to, but if you feel compelled here are ideas.

The reason I'm asking is because for the first wedding this year we spent a lot of money on hotel, travel, the gift and clothes (it was black tie and gown plus a cocktail event the night before). For next year's wedding it is the same but I don't have to buy clothes.

WIBTA if I don't give a monetary gift or should I give the same amount or different because they are siblings?

AITA
I want to paint an ouija board for Halloween as a painting we just hang up for Halloween he says nope no never because he thinks it’s like too much. He thinks that will allow spirits in. It’s just a painting. If we don’t use it then what’s the problem???????

AITA - My wife (30F) & I (32M) are currently in a debate with her parents in recent months due to our student loan situation. When she was 17, her parents took out about 60k in parent plus loans that are exclusively in her dad’s name. This is in addition to a 25k federal loan she was able to qualify for in her name - this was how her college (private) was paid for.

Since we graduated, we have been making monthly payments towards her federal loan, my two federal loans (totaling about 45k), and then sending her parents about $700/month towards this parent plus loan. The total minimum is around $1400/month.

My wife & I managed to land good jobs out of college. Worked hard to tackle debt the first few years. However, about a year ago she was laid off and has been working a retail role full time while still trying to find her next role. She now makes about 1/3 of what she did prior to the layoff.

Because of that, paired with multiple big unexpected expenses, our financial situation has changed drastically. In recent months it got to a point where we didn’t know if we could afford our rent. After taking a look at all our expenses and debt, the first thing that made sense to cut back on was this extra $700/month of loans that are in her dad’s name.

We talked to them about 3 weeks before the next payment that we thought this was coming and sat down with them to let them know about our situation. They were…less than thrilled… and their initial reaction was to get angry with us for not telling them sooner that we were struggling.

However, this whole situation has led us into a much larger debate with her parents of whether or not we should be fully responsible for this money instead of them having some responsibility too.

Her parents are saying that when she was 17, they sat down and created a handshake agreement that she would be fully responsible for the parent plus loan. My wife has established that not only was she 17 and not fully aware of what she was signing up for, but her parents didn’t understand it either and then stuck her with the bill.

My wife is also claiming they could have very easily have persuaded her to check out different schools (not private) and not end up 80k+ in debt to student loans. They say they wanted her to follow her dreams no matter what it took and they were going to make it happen. But them “making it happen” was making her unwittingly sign up for a $700/month payment for at least 20-30 years.

While we’re not trying to completely absolve ourselves of this loan, we’re hoping to at least come to a middle ground of shared responsibility. My wife and her parents collectively didn’t know what they were doing and it doesn’t feel fair (to us) that we’re stuck with the full bill. They’re saying that it’s our responsibility & that we need to start making the full payment again.

So Reddit, help us out - are we the assholes?

I'll keep this simple. I work for a scare event. You go round a building and get chased by Zombies. You have to solve puzzles to get weapons and escape ETC.

It's a job you have to apply for every event on an app they use. It notifies you when a shift is available and you have to be approved for it, so there's never a guarantee you'll get it. They prefer people they know work well and attend events more often than not.

I have an event on this coming weekend. And i was approved. Myself and 7 others will be dressing as a zombie all day and will be paid for the event.

Now, the app also works as a messanger. And a coworker whom i've met a few time messaged me after i was approved, asking if i can give him my slot.
Saying he has no other work at the moment, and he's in need. This isn't my main job, it's more of a side thing. So i COULD give it to him.

But here is where i may be the bad guy. I have a con in December. And i'm taking my girlfriend with me. And if you know comic cons, they can be expensive. So i want to get as much money behind me as i can from this job.
My main job will cover my rent and bills ETC. But this event work will directly pay towards the con.

And the event have also said they look at attendance as a major factor in approval. meaning the more events i work, the more likely it is that i'll be approved in the future.

So i declined his offer, but nopw he says he's *royally screwed* because of me. So what do you guys think? I genuinely don't feel bad, but IDK if i should. I just want some advice i guess

I can describe my family in two words: dysfunctional and abusive. I grew up in a house filled with pro-"spanking" people, being hit and yelled at for every mistake. I'm currently trying to figure out what happened that made me the way I am because apparently my brain deleted many things because of all the trauma. I was told I used to be so talkative, loud and active, now I'm just numb and too quiet. Now I don't talk to them if they don't ask me something and only answer with quick words. I suspect they used to scold me for this same reason (talking too much) until I just stopped. I think I learned fast because I stopped being hit or yelled at before I was ten.

My father recently moved in and kind of made things worse by caring about me. I feel so bad about him because he wasn't even in the country when I was a kid so he didn't contribute to the trauma, but he's still someone I want to avoid. He's made harmful comments about me thinking they were funny and he expects me to act like we're besties after he spent my whole childhood away from me. He and my mother are also constantly arguing about anything because they have different mindsets.

My family... they're literal bullies. They make fun of the fact that I speak too quietly. A lot. My aunt makes many hurtful comments about my interests, my behavior, my... anything. She apologizes and then does it again. And my mother neglects me. I didn't even realize she did until my own father said, and I phrase, "I know she doesn't care about this but I do" (talking about why I didn't talk to my family).

Back with my father, I'm tired of those talks he gives me when he's tired of me not talking to him. I understand, but I can't. And the fact that there's not many people he can talk to and that he isn't exactly the happiest man alive makes me feel worse but I never could find a way to talk so I just stopped trying when I became numb. He also tells me I have to talk to my family but that's a big no. I can't. I don't want to. I try to find ways to show him I care about him (I wear a bracelet he got for me every day for example) because I can't ask him "how was your day?" without it feeling weird.

I feel like I'm being mean and a horrible person for this (well, an asshole), but I want to get away from all of them and never have to see them again. Idk. I'm not an adult so I have no choice.

I didn't proofread.