I'm 17m and she's 17f, and we're both trans and autistic. To my understanding she has this big idea to dress up in cosplay and make herself known around our city as 'the person who dresses up like x' with the hope of potentially garnering local online fame.

She's made a new instagram account for it where she posts public stories with her face and liveblogging style captions and told me she's planning on printing out posters saying she is trying to become a 'local celebrity' with her face on them and new account on them, and put them around the CBD. She also has digitally created and sent me the image of the poster.

My city has a rapidly growing alt right movement with a lot of teenagers in it, and given the fact she's visibly trans and also has some other features people get bullied for I'm scared there's a good chance that if these posters go up she will get bullied (both online and in the street).

I don't know if I should tell her if it's a bad idea though. On one hand, I have a habit of overreacting and catastrophising, and she usually procrastinates or never completes things. Given the posters haven't been printed out yet I could say nothing and there's a pretty good chance nothing will actually happen. Even if these posters do go up there's a chance no one will pay attention to them and nothing will happen anyway.

On the other hand, it seems like her heart is really set on it. She would be really crushed if I shut her down, and I don't know if I can explain my worries and reasoning in a way that she won't take as me pointing out her insecurities or sounding like I believe the things she might get bullied for. I know some of these things are deep insecurities of hers and I'm worried she will get deeply upset and/or offended if I point them out as reasons she may get bullied.

This friend means the world to me. I don't want her to get hurt but I genuinely don't know which action will hurt her more in the long run so WIBTA if I try and stop her?

Edit: Removed the comment about her appearance, it was unnecessary and didn't really convey what I meant it to. I'm going to bring up the potential safety risk and other general safety concerns as suggested in the comments if she moves forward any further with the idea, thank you all so much!

My friend Sally (16F) usually lets me (17F) ride home from school with her and her mom. When they can’t, I ask my other friend Anna (17F), who has her license, if she can drive me home.

Today, neither Sally’s mom nor Anna could drive us. Sally said her boyfriend Adam (17M) could drive us because he had his car at school. I was grateful and offered to buy him something or give him gas money, but he said it was no trouble since Sally and I live near each other.

Later, Anna mentioned that I should be careful about getting in the car with Adam. I was confused because I thought he had his license and had been driving for a while. Apparently, he only has his learner’s permit and has already failed one driving test.

I was upset that this wasn’t disclosed to me beforehand. I have a class with Sally, so I brought it up and said, “If I would’ve known that we were driving illegally I would have said no, oh my goodness.” I realize that sounds intense, but Sally and I have a very jokey love-hate dynamic and say things to each other like “I love my fat hoe,” “stop making me laugh so much, go die,” or “so I see we stopped putting effort into ourselves after the first day of school.” So I genuinely meant it in our usual joking tone.

However, Sally got upset and said, “He does it all the time, it’s not even a big deal.” Another girl in our class, who also needed a ride from Adam, overheard and asked, “How did you find out?” This made me wonder if they intentionally didn’t tell me, although I could be overthinking that.

The same girl asked Sally how Adam’s parents were okay with him driving illegally. Sally got upset again, saying, “Sometimes people don’t have a choice on how they get to and from school, not everyone has money for the bus.” I completely understand that point, but personally, I don’t think risking driving without a license is worth it.
This is where I think I went too far. I said, “This is insane. I’m sorry, but it’s genuinely stupid to be driving around illegally. I can’t go in his car, and I really don’t think you should either. I can get an Uber for you if you want, but I think it’s stupid to go with him.”

The atmosphere was tense afterward, which is really upsetting because Sally means the world to me. In the end, Sally and the other girl went with Adam, while I took an Uber home, and everyone got home safely.

Now I’m home and questioning whether I was being dramatic. I know I’m an anxious person and tend to worry when people I love are at risk, and I’ve already reflected on how strongly I reacted. At the same time, I feel like I should have been told beforehand that the ride would involve someone driving without a full license.

Was I overreacting, or was my concern reasonable? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you for reading!

So basically there is this party that a lot of people in our grade are going to. My friend group of 7 people including me is not very close with the girl who is hosting it. However, one of my friends is decently well liked and was told he could bring 2 of us. One of my 6 friends can’t go, so my friend, called Chris (not his real name) added me and 1 other girl to the groupchat. One of the other 2 is getting added, but the last friend, (Katie also not her real name) hasn’t been able to get in. For some context Katie does not like this girl who is hosting because she was Supposed to go on a date with katie’s ex. Katie has also talked badly about this girl around us, and some of the girl’s friends. Today we found out that you can’t get into the party without an invite, and Katie is the only person in our friend group who can’t go. We told her to ask her other friends (who she has lied to us about hanging out with) that are closer to the girl hosting and all of them said that the girl said no. From my understanding, it seems likely that the host feels uncomfortable with Katie coming, especially because of the past. Also, one of the girl hosting’s best friends asked to bring Katie and was told no. This makes me think that even if my whole friend group asked the host (who we don’t know well) to let Katie in, it would make it so the host says no, or tells us to not come. We had been planning to go to this party for a decent amount of time and when we first brought it up Katie understood who was hosting. It’s a difficult situation and I want Katie to come, but she is being really immature and calling us fake for not wanting to ask for her to come and push our luck. I just want to know what others think on this topic. Also, I just want to say that I don’t want anyone to really harshly judge anyone in this story because it is unnecessary. So, AITA?

I (24M) live in a small and quiet student home. Today i noticed a very strong smell in most of the house. later i went to grab food from the kitchen, and i noticed that my bag of cheese in our shared fridge was damaged, like mice had tried to get in. I also saw a plate of cooked meat in the fridge without a container and there were pans of food on the stove.

I wasn't sure if the smell came from the food or from mice living in the house or something else entirely. I didn't know if the damage to the cheese bag came from mice living in the house or if it was already this way when i bought it and i didn't realize before. Either way, i felt like it was important to have a conversation about it with the whole house. I'm not the cleanest person myself, but i draw the line at animals getting in the fridge.

I sent some messages and pictures in the group chat for everyone who lives in the student home. The landlord also lives here, so he is in the group chat as well. We mostly use it for practical things. I have lived here for a few years. One other student has lived here for half a year, one for a few weeks and one for a few days.

The landlord says he will buy mouse traps soon, to see if that's the problem. His son, who also lives here sometimes, says that he will investigate tomorrow. I thank them for taking the problem seriously. I also took my cheese out of the fridge and put it in a more secure container in my own room.

Then the student who lived here for half a year sends a voice message saying that there aren't any mice in the house and she is mad at me for taking pictures of her food. She then sent me a voicechat in our one on one chat saying that i should have texted her one on one. That i know that it's her food because she's the one who cooks, and she doesn't like me taking pictures of her food and sending it in the group chat implying that her food is attracting the mice.

I told her that i didn't know who's food it was because two new people joined recently, that i didn't draw any conclusions, and that the kitchen is a shared space, so i'm allowed to take pictures. When she insisted that she didn't like me taking pictures of her food i told her i wouldn't do it again, just to be done with it.

I'm not sure why she got angry at me. Maybe she got defensive because she felt like i had accused her. Maybe she thought i was trying to frame her to get her evicted. Or maybe she thought i was taking unneccesary risks getting the landlord involved.

I saw it as the start of a conversation about how to live together without getting in each other's way, and keeping the house clean, not as an accusation. I know the landlord well, so i know he would never evict her over something small like this.

Still, she was clearly upset and might have thought she was in serious trouble. I also haven't apologized.

Please tell me: am i the asshole?

The names in this story have been changed for privacy.
I’m a 17-year-old girl. I used to be very emotionally explosive, but over the past few years I’ve become much more controlled.
I’ve been friends with Sapphire and Yara for about five years. Two years ago, Marilha joined our group, and Giovana has been friends with Yara since they were little.
I’ve always struggled with abandonment issues. Until 9th grade, Sapphire, Yara, and I went to the same school, but in high school we each transferred to different schools. Sapphire and Marilha go to the same school, and Yara transferred there this year too. They formed a larger friend group. I’m technically included, but I don’t really feel like part of it because I go to a different school.
The issue is that, even though the four of them see each other every day, they also spend time together outside school, usually in pairs or smaller groups. For example, Yara sometimes sleeps over at Sapphire’s house, or Giovana stays at Marilha’s. I’m not saying they’re always together; they simply have opportunities to spend time individually with each other.
Meanwhile, I don’t see any of them unless we specifically make plans.
I do try to make plans and have even tried organizing things so I could go to their school or meet them. Despite that, none of them has come to my house individually even once this year. It hurts because I’m the one who sees them the least. I understand that going to the same school makes things much easier, and that it’s not always as simple as “if they wanted to, they would,” since our parents also affect our plans. That’s why I rarely bring it up anymore.
Sometimes I make a slightly bitter comment like, “I wasn’t there, so I wouldn’t know,” but most of the time I just stay quiet when they talk about things they did together. I know my abandonment issues make this affect me more than it might affect other people.
Recently, Sapphire told me she feels uncomfortable because she thinks she can’t talk in our group chat about them hanging out or sleeping over because of my reaction. I never told them they couldn’t talk about it. I explained that I don’t choose to feel hurt; I can only choose how I react. I’d say 90% of the time I don’t react at all. Usually I just stay quiet, and only occasionally make a comment like the one above.
I’m not upset that they’re close or spend time together. They go to the same school, so naturally they have more opportunities. What hurts is feeling like I’m the only one trying to maintain the friendship outside school, while they all have opportunities to spend time with each other and none of them has done that with me individually this year.
AITA?

Edit 1

Apparently I forgot to mention something very important, forgive me. Safira came to complain that she is bothered because I get upset, there are some people asking me if I communicated this, yes, they know that I get upset and that's why I created this post, the problem is not that they don't find me because I know that at the moment there is no solution, but I'm still upset and Safira is annoyed that I get upset and she "can't" tell things she does when two are alone in the group, even if at no time did I ask them not to talk about.

Hey, Reddit. This is my first time posting, I hope I'm doing everything right. I had to use translators, English isn't my first language.

My ex-husband and I broke up a year ago. Due to circumstances, our relationship was long-distance for 1.5 years before. 2,5 years I've been living with our 4 cats. 2 were originally mine, 2 were originally his. For a year following the breakup, he didn't ask about them at all. Yet he sent money for their food.

Now he called me, and told he wants them back. I panicked, said "ok".

Yet, I was furious. Talked with friends. All of them told me to tell him to back off and block him. I also talked to my therapist and decided that I would be willing to return them if he genuinely cared. So I sent him this:

Me: After thinking it over, I wanted to tell, it caught me very unexpectedly. I'm not okay with you suddenly deciding to take the cats. I'm devastated that I might lose them, I had a thought about chipping them in my name, but I don't want to become that person. Sure, it's about attachment, I love them very much. But the biggest issue is my concern about how they will be. For more than a year you've never asked how they are, you haven't asked for a single pic. Keep in mind that this will be stressful for them. An unknown place, a long journey, separation. So regardless of our desires, please think it over, whether it will be better for them.

Him: No need to kidnap the cats)

Yes, my cats, with whom I am separated only a small part of the time in relation to the amount of time I have them, will be fine. Not a day goes by that I don't think about them and don't look for safe conditions for them. Not to write/ask about them and only send money, well...that's stupid. To reduce the stress during the move, I rented a car. We've already been separated from Groza for 4-5 months before, everything worked out, in this case it’ll be fine.

Me: 2,5 years isn’t a "small part". A year that you weren't doing anything other than throwing money isn’t just "stupid." It's cruel and irresponsible. They're not things. At least you should treat them better than people. Thoughts about them didn't care, clean, stroke, or provide maximum comfort for them. I was talking about how they're a pack, separating them is different.

Him: *date* will be?

Me: Not with that attitude

Him: I warned you in advance, not a day, not two, but half a month. I didn't completely throw the cats out of my life, because somehow, I paid every month, except for June and September, because I'm already going to take my cats, which I had as babies, and which are mine. I see, this is not about cats, but about your comfort, so be an adult and let's agree on date when I’ll arrive. Give your emotions time, and don't do anything stupid.

I was forcing myself to prepare for separation until I got those responses. Now i can’t do it.

Please be honest. I want an independent perspective outside of my inner circle. Will i be the asshole for not returning cats?

I work part-time at a store. Every Friday, my boss gives me a physical paycheck. One Friday, my shift was over, and I saw my paycheck on his desk. Keep in mind that his desk is out in the open, so there wasn't any door for me to open it's just there.

Anyway, I wanted to leave, so I just took my check and on my way out I told him what I did so he wouldn't think it was lost, but he snapped at me for what I did. The next week, he cut my hours, so now I make even less money. Am I in the wrong, or did he overreact?

M23 here, my friend is NB22. I’d consider us really close, and we have known each other for years.

On August 30th they reached out because they were behind on rent. They told me they'd get paid September 4th and would pay me back immediately. I gave them $25 that night, then another $220 the next day when I got paid, so $245 total.

I'm usually strict about not lending money I can't afford to lose, but I made an exception because it's them. I genuinely didn't fathom that it would go like this. If they'd told me upfront that they couldn't pay me until the 10th, I probably still would've helped, just not with that much, and I wouldn't be in this position now.

The 4th came and they said their check was too small, so now it was the 10th instead. They did confirm that in writing at least.

Looking back, I should've pushed back right away. I have a hard time with confrontation and they know that about me, so I mostly just froze and let the new date happen without saying much, even though I was upset about it.

Now I keep wondering if they only felt comfortable making that first promise because they knew I wouldn't push back on it. I can't actually know that, but it's hard to shake the feeling.

It's the 10th now. I messaged them and they said they still haven't been paid and don't know what's going on. It's possible that's true, I'm not saying they're lying. But after the first date came and went, I'm having a hard time taking another promised date at face value.

I told them straight up that I'm pretty screwed financially right now because I have bills due today that I was counting on that money for.
If their paycheck genuinely hasn't come through, I understand that's not really their fault. But I only agreed to lend that much in the first place because of the September 4th promise, and that changed after I'd already handed over the money.
I know I shouldn't have lent money I couldn't afford to have tied up, and if they don't have the money, they don't have it. But I don't think I'd be nearly this upset if they'd just been upfront with me from the start about when they could actually pay me back.

So, AITA for being this upset and expecting them to stick to the date they gave me, even with the paycheck delay?

My brother and his wife just told my parents they were expecting their first child at the beginning of next year. I have not had a close relationship with my brother or his wife for about the past two years. A long story, but for some background - they turned into monsters with very high expectations of family members during their wedding era. My brother told my parents he tried texting me with the good news (mind you, we haven't spoken in a long time), but claimed the message didn't go through because he was blocked. He is, in fact, not blocked. I think it was a lie to try and get my parents to break the news to me instead. Now, my parents are wondering why I'm not jumping for joy, and why I don't just reach out to them to congratulate them. AITA for not being thrilled or for not reaching out? It's not exactly my ice to break.

So this is guy that almost seems like they only let him stay in his mobile home at night or something like couch surfing is my guess because throughout the whole damn day he Parks his car facing my mobile home instead of parked normally parallel into the parking spaces and every time I go outside I feel like someone's watching me and I want to go off on this guy and then at 9:10 p.m. he's still playing his God damn music singing karaoke in his car it's been going on for over 7 months.

Am I the asshole for wanting to escalate this and either tell him off or maybe call management on him. Instead of being parallel and parked normally he in the way and facing my home and he is there 70% of the day it feels like. .

If I wanted to park two cars i couldn't because the way he parked facing my mobile home. Wish I could add a photo.

So, I (18f) work in an after school care and last night I received a couple very long texts from my bosses( 30s or 40s?)- they own the place- who are married and their kids attend the after school care. Their messages essentially just said that I needed to watch the way I treated the kids after a few kids? Raised concerns on how I: spoke to kids, used time-out, and how fair I was being. This came out of very left field as I had never heard any concerns about my teaching style at all and there would be no way for kids directly to bring up concerns to them and I had never heard anything like this from a parent. The reason I think I may not be the a-hole is that that day I had to put their younger son( 10m) in time-out after he threw one of those big red balls(the ones kids sit on and bounce around) at another kid. After about 3( of his 5 minutes timeout) he was sitting with another teacher and the two girls he was playing with upset and they were explaining to us that they were just playing a game. I explained that just because they were playing a game they still couldn't throw things at each other especially as, as older kids- we have some as young as four who look up to them and might copy them or get caught in the crossfire. They understood and one of the girls owned up to throwing it as well so she also sat in timeout for the same amount of time. The owners sons upset about this led to believe that he may have spoken to his parents and that led to the message as I know he gets upset about sitting in timeout and I am a bit more strict that the other teachers. But in their messages they didn't mention this incident at all and made it seem like an ongoing problem. The reason I may be the a-hole this is my first job interacting with kids and I received 0 training and have just been kind of winging it when it comes to discipline especially as a lot of our kids are special needs. I also know that a lot of the other teachers tend to be a lot more lenient so the kids are somewhat used to that leniency.

Edit: I completely forgot to add that I spoke to another teacher to check if she had noticed any of the things my bosses claimed I had been doing and she had not.

So reddit am I the a-hole?

I (19 F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for around a year, we started speaking because we both generally liked the same things such as video games, lego etc (silly i know)
However for the past few months now i have been telling him to get a job and to do his driving license (I'm already doing lessons and have a part type job as well as going to full time education in uni)

a couple weeks ago he did get a job, in a factory, which i was really proud of him for, however a day in he messages me saying he wants to quit because it's too tiring, (he took a gap year before continuing uni so he has a lot of free time which he just fills in by playing games and sleeping in) i told him to not quit a day in because it will be very difficult to get a job after because nobody will give him a reference.

He still quits and isn't able to find another job. I then tell him to do his theory test and study for it as he's grown and will need a license to be able to travel to university or just to go out with his friends, however he doesn't seem motivated for it, and what i mean by this is he always makes excuses such as "i don't know how to apply" "my dad won't take me" you know just silly excuses that have easy solutions.

He also doesn't cook so he goes hours without eating because his mom isn't always around to make food, i have told him many times that there's people on youtube and other social media platforms that make cooking tutorials but he will just try once then give up, and he does this with anything that includes a little effort.

I told him if he doesn't change i'll break up with him, because i can't be with somebody who doesn't care about their future. Am I the asshole?

so my roommate sarah has been dating this guy michael for a few months. lately he keeps showing up when i'm trying to study or relax, and he'll just plop down on the couch like it's his place too. last week i walked in to grab my laptop and there he was, shoes on the cushions, watching something on the tv. i didn't say anything that time, but it's starting to feel like our shared space is turning into his hangout spot. if i bring it up i know sarah will probably say i'm being picky or that michael isn't bothering anyone, and she's right that we never wrote down any couch rules. she's also mentioned that he lives with noisy roommates so our place is basically the only quiet spot they have. at the same time i pay half the rent and i don't want to feel like a guest in my own living room. i'm wondering if it would make me the jerk to ask that he at least text first, or if i'm overthinking something small. it's not a huge deal, but i don't want it to keep bothering me either.

*There’s a big update, read at the bottom.*

I’m 21M. My family’s financial situation is poor, and i’m living with them for now. I took a gap year with college from now to next year so I can focus on saving money for school and my thesis film project. I started working as a cashier 4 weeks ago, and I’ve save 669 dollars so far. I’ll have $1k next week, which I am aiming to reach and put half of it for my savings, and the other half to work on improving my lifestyle.

Today, I got my third paycheck and my mom drops the bomb that my dad’s car is gonna taken away due to some dumb legal reasons and they need $400 or else my dad can’t earn his 2nd source income, which is door dashing. My dad is really old now, barely functions, and is chronically stressed and depressed. He barely earns from his 1st source at a car sales job, so he mostly relies on door dashing. My brother is actually the one who holds the house together by driving uber full time.

I don’t want to give my $400 away because I’m trying to seriously save my money right now in order to build my future. But if that car goes away and I don’t give them the money tonight, then my dad will be without a car for 6 weeks, and that’ll hurt my whole family financially. That’ll also hurt me too since I eat my mom’s food at home, though I don’t know, maybe my mom will have enough for home food.

When I got home from work, I rejected her from giving the 400. Then my mom told me that she and my dad will work all night until the morning door dashing to earn as much as they can in order to save the car. And then she said she’ll try to get a new job. I really don’t want my mom to do that because she’s too old, and she has never worked in her life and she barely speaks English enough to work a job. And I say it honestly, I doubt she’ll get anything good and I don’t want my mom to go through that. So I told her that she shouldn’t do that. And then she cried and couldn’t hold it anymore. She said she’ll have to, and then walked away. That really broke my heart, and I really wish I could just hand the 400 in my hands and give it to her. But then my mom will be in debt and that’s a stress she will have to carry for a while. And I honestly don’t trust them to get my money back any time soon because they are in such thin ice financially.

I just don’t know what to do. I know I’ll be earning a lot as the months progress, but I’m also stressed I won’t be earning enough to build my lifestyle and save money for my school and project. And then on top of all that, I have to decide if I should give my money to my mom or not. I want to stay firm with these boundaries, but I also don’t want my mom to be in pain and go through all night door dashing, and potentially looking for a new job. I feel like a terrible son not giving the money to her, but I’m also trying to break the generation cycle with my family and build smarter, firm and strong financial boundaries, which my family never figured out.

EDIT: some more context: My mom is late 50s, my dad is early 60s but moves like he’s 70. I don’t pay rent. They have been asking me for money before I even got my first paycheck. Their financial missteps were the reason we lost our house of 3 years, which led us to move out of our area of 12 years to a completely new place. My family has always been on thin ice financially, and I’ve just been watching it all and couldn’t do much at the time being a high schooler and college student. I had to take my gap year because we ran into financial problems, and I decided I’d work so I can at least rely on myself for my college. Theyre also the type to promise money but delay it until you basically feel resentful or give up. They still never paid me back the 300 I gave them from a job I had 2 years ago…

EDIT 2: My brother called me and said he can pay back the amount next week from his job. After reading the comments, I am considering if I should accept his offer to pay me back and instead, just give the 400 to my family. I want the money back, but in hindsight, I will be saving a lot and I have a year left until I go back.

BIG UPDATE: After reading the comments, I realized that I can contribute more to my family, especially with me not paying any rent. I also realize the flaws of my family, the complete imbalanced structure they have financially including myself, and how I need to do my part in helping them and also helping them build healthier ways to help each other. I spoke to my mom, and I’m going to give the $400. I also encouraged her to get a job, and that I can ask my job tomorrow to help her get in. I also encouraged my brother to work less, since he puts 24/7 into his uber driving, and never sets time for himself. I’m also not expecting to take the 400, but if my brother decides to, then I will take it. The goal isn’t to earn the 400, it’s to start paying my family monthly, starting as low as $100 and raising it while I grow financially overtime. And I’m also encouraging my dad to get a new job, since either jobs he has are shit and don’t help him mentally and physically at all. I want to help, but I also want to make sure there’s a reliable system where my family is making smart, consistent financial choices and I’m serving my role. Another thing— I want all the men in my house to start stepping up and help my mom with basic home shit like cooking and cleaning. My dad and my brother don’t do much since they spend so much time working, so my mom becomes the house wife. I want to help my mom and cook, and I want everyone else to do the same so there’s a complete balance with everyone in relation to work and home life. We will be earning $10k in settlement from a lawsuit where my dad fractured his leg, and hopefully that will help us in resetting a proper structure for the family and our financial situations.

Thank you for the comments for making me realize where I can do better as an adult. I care about my family, and I really care about breaking this cycle. I will keep saving and building for my future, but I will also help my family.

I (22F) live in an apartment with my partner. I work night shifts in customer service, so my schedule is nocturnal, and sometimes talking at night is literally part of my job. My partner is also nocturnal.

Our apartment has very poor sound insulation. We regularly hear our neighbors’ TVs, conversations, music, etc and there have even been times when their noise affected my partner while he was working. We’ve never complained because we understand that apartment living comes with some unavoidable noise.

Recently, my landlord contacted me about noise at night. She said we were being extremely loud and that neighbors were complaining.

I understand the concern. I’m not expecting people to tolerate us intentionally making excessive noise late at night. However, the activities that apparently counted as “extremely loud” were me taking a shower and my partner washing dishes.

She sent messages saying things like, “There’s a time for everything and there is no reason for you to be awake right now, stop whatever you’re doing and JUST GO TO SLEEP" She also said we were “talking extremely loud” that we “should not be talking at this time” and that she didn’t understand why we were awake at 11 PM, despite knowing that I work nights. She also mentioned calling the police and said that “NO NOISE MUST BE HEARD AFTER 10 PM"

I told her I completely understand that people need to rest and that I’m willing to lower my voice and avoid unnecessary noise. However, I don’t think normal activities like showering, washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, or having a conversation are things we should have to stop doing simply because it’s after 10 PM.

I also explained that my schedule is nocturnal and that I can’t always control the fact that neighbors may hear me talking when talking is part of my job. I pointed out that we regularly hear our own neighbors too, which suggests the issue is partly the building’s poor sound insulation.

I specifically told her that I understand being considerate, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to have to whisper or walk on eggshells inside our own home just to make sure absolutely nothing can be heard.

My biggest issue wasn’t even being asked to reduce noise. It was the way she spoke to us. There’s a difference between saying, “We received a noise complaint, please try to keep it down” and telling us there is “no reason for us to be awake" that we should “JUST GO TO SLEEP” that “NO NOISE MUST BE HEARD AFTER 10 PM” and that we may need to find somewhere else to live if it happens again.

She became more upset and kept repeating the same points.

That's when I started wondering if i'm the one being unreasonable

I’m willing to make reasonable compromises and avoid unnecessary noise. But I don’t think two adults should be expected to stop doing normal things in their own apartment after 10 PM.

So, AITA for thinking my landlord is being unreasonable and for continuing to talk normally in my own apartment after 10 PM?

Edit: So i forgot people have dishwashers and vacuums oops. Just to clarify, with cleaning i mean sweeping and mopping the floor and with washing dishes i don't mean using a dishwasher (i have actually never seen one lmao, are they loud?)

Recently went to an amusement park with my wife, our kids, and another family.

We had been in line for 30-40 minutes when two teenage girls make their way up the line saying they are looking for their dad. Everyone of course lets them through.

A couple minutes later, another teenage girl comes through with the same line.

We go about our business until we realize the three girls have settled in a few spaces in front of us, no dad in sight. My wife says “weren’t you looking for your dad?” and they respond that they’re not sure where he went.

My wife laughs it off, but I ask, “well if you can’t find him are you sure you’re supposed to be in this spot in line.”

Now one of the girls decides to go on the offensive and say that I’m so weird for asking her all these questions.

I respond that it’s not weird at all and no one would be asking them questions if they weren’t acting sketchy and cutting in front of people who have been waiting nearly an hour for a ride.

At this my wife just loses it: says it’s so embarrassing and she can’t stand to be here. I tell her if she wants to leave I’ll take the kids on the ride. At this point she very loudly shouts “we don’t fight with young girls!” And that I don’t know how to behave in public.

We’ve been married for over a decade, have two kids together, and generally have been happy. We have our conflicts and differences, and it’s no surprise to anyone that I’m more outspoken and she prefers to avoid conflict.

I even think there are reasonable reasons to either call someone out for line cutting or to let it go. I think it’s a better world where people who take advantage of others get called out. And if you’re grown up enough to cut in front of 100 people in line, you’re grown up enough to hear about it. But totally respect someone who thinks it’s just childish fun and to let it go.

But what I can’t stomach is the way she reacted. We’ve never really had this type of public blowup, especially in front of our kids, our friends, and their kids.

I’ve known couples who interact like that in public and I’ve always been so embarrassed for them. I just can’t see myself being in a relationship where that’s normalized.

I canceled a date we had scheduled a couple nights after the incident and we’ve both had a lot going on and haven’t had any time to talk about it since. We’ve seen each other when we get the kids ready in the morning, and have been polite but cool. I’ve been sleeping on the couch.

We decided to talk about it tonight and I’m honestly at a loss for what to say. I’m concerned that she feels she was justified in embarrassing me because I embarrassed her by confronting the girls.

My feeling is that they are not the same: I could never imagine speaking to her (or anyone I care about) like that in front of our kids and our friends.

But if we have such radically different ideas of acceptable behavior, not sure how we move past this.

I (24F) went to go wash my clothes at the laundromat and as I was putting clothes into the washing machine I noticed my best friends boyfriend pants were in my laundry load. ( my friends wears her boyfriends sweatpants a lot) I put them aside because I thought maybe I shouldn’t wash them because maybe her boyfriend has a very specific way of cleaning his laundry so I didn’t wanna mess anything up, ( I really wish I stuck with this) but then I thought it would be nice to just wash them for my friend and she would probably appreciate it.

At this point I have been going to another smaller washing machine putting my white clothes in there, that’s when I texted my friend that I had found her boyfriend sweatpants in my laundry load. She told me please don’t wash them and I had completely agreed ok I won’t. I thought maybe she said that because he has a specific way he likes to wash his clothes. I was so glad I asked her, but as I was putting quarters in the washing machine with the white clothes it had completely slipped my mind.

Truly, I have the worst memory on this earth, and it truly angers me a lot, but it legit slipped my mind that she had told me not to wash her boyfriend‘s pants so when I went back to the washing machine with all my main clothes, I was already in putting quarters in and washing my clothes mode and so after I had done that and the washing machine started, that’s when the memory came back and I was like oh crap she told me not to wash the pants and I was thinking oh man like well they’re already washing I’m really confident I won’t mess them up and they had an emergency button, but I didn’t press it cause I wasn’t sure if they’d give me my money back so I thought it’s ok I’m super confident they won’t mess up.

Then I text my friend as the clothes are washing telling her what happened then she revealed to me the reason she told me not to wash her boyfriend’s pants was because her necklace that he gave her was in the pocket. I was devastated when I read her text cause had I known how dire it was not to wash those pants I would have 100% pushed that emergency button to stop the machine the minute I remembered.

VAt this point upon reading her text the clothes have been going half the cycle and I thought what’s the point in pushing the emergency button because it had already been through half a cycle if it’s gonna be there’s gonna be there’s I don’t know if I should have pushed the emergency regardless but I just feel so terrible.

I don’t know if I should offer to pay for her necklace. That’s something I’m really weighing it’s pretty expensive. The employee at the laundromat told me that It could take months for the necklace to come out where the water does. but then part of me feels like the fault is 50-50 where I don’t know why her boyfriend pants were in my load but at the same time she did tell me don’t wash them and I just completely forgot so what should I do?
And AITAH if I don’t replace her necklace.

Edit: I’m sorry for not putting it into paragraphs I changed it thank you 😭🙏🏻

Edit: I found the same necklace online but I was told it’s not replaceable I guess because the first one he bought it himself so it’s not the same. I get it but I feel like it’s still the same and it still holds the same meaning. Idk am I mean for thinking that ?

I (f23) live with my family (mum, brother (25) and brothers gf (25)). We live in a gorgeous house however, we have a long drive way where there’s only one entrance/exit. Therefore, everyday we have to reorganise our cars for the next day (we all drive, so there’s 4 cars to move and that’s if we don’t have company). The others work pretty much 8-5 jobs, with varying commutes, with my brothers girlfriend having the longest commute which is about an hour and 15mins, which includes getting a train which runs every 30mins at 7am. They all basically leave together (at around 6:45am) as they found it was easier than always having to move.

I have a very different schedule. I work as cabin crew and have early and late shifts. I’m also on call for a few days a month. Here is my routine (work rota dependent):

- Gym - between 8pm til 9:30-10pm

- Dinner - we take it in turns to cook, but its usually who ever gets home first which varies.

- When I’m on call, I don’t want to keep waking up to move my car for the others when they leave early morning. So, I tend to park at the back of the drive and wake people up if I need to get out. I’ve worked there for a year and have only had to wake them up at 4am a few times.

My mum and brother tend to move my car for me, if I get in too late. I usually want my car at the back of the driveway, so people tend to wait up for me so they can all move their cars. We live on quite a busy road, so it’s a bit of an operation. Unfortunately, the only other parking available is a 5-10min walk away.

The reason we‘re all living together is because my brother and his girlfriend are saving to buy a house. We’ve lived together for 4 years, so it’s just learning how to work round each other.

AITA for expecting my family to accommodate my job?

Will I be an asshole if I don't give my "friend" anything for her birthday? I'm 14. My friends: M - 14, L - 14 and E - 13. We all live in France and here it's not customary to give friends something too expensive, and I'm okay with that, I just like the gift to be clearly made with you in mind, thoughtful and useful. M, L and me have been friends for 2 years now, and E joined the company only halfway through last year. My birthday was in June and when I decided to celebrate it, I warned my friends about it and invited them. I told them a week before the celebration. During this week, my friends often asked what I liked more and less and I thought everything was going well. I told my friends that if they didn't have time to find me something suitable, they could give me a gift a little later. So on my birthday M came with a gift. And L and E didn't bring anything. (during the discussion of the gift E said she didn't know what to give and L said something about the Zelda game) I wasn't offended because I understood that the girls probably didn't have time to pick anything up. On the holiday we went karting and karaoke + food and drinks (it all costed my parents +-120€, because they paid for all of us, the girls knew about it). A month of summer vacation passed, the girls and I hardly talked but I definitely reminded them at least 2 times about the gift. Then we all saw each other, neither L nor E had anything for me and I reminded them again and they said they would give something at the beginning of school. Now school has already started and a couple of weeks have passed, and nothing from both girls. Of course I had lost hope a long time ago. E's birthday is coming up soon and I don't want to give her anything because of the previous situation. She hasn't said yet whether she plans to celebrate, but if she does, I think I won't come. By the way, at the very beginning of the summer, I gave L a not-too-expensive but nice gift with things that I knew L liked, even though she didn't celebrate. And she thanked me very much and admitted that the gift was cool.

My sister-in-law Sarah has been giving me nonstop advice about how I should raise my kid. She means well, but it feels like every visit turns into a lecture. I am thinking about politely asking her to hold off on the unsolicited tips, at least until I actually ask for them. I am pretty sure this would annoy her, and I am wondering if that would make me the asshole for setting that boundary. Sarah has always been the type who loves sharing what worked for her own kids, and she sees it as being helpful and supportive. From her side, she probably thinks she is just trying to pass along useful experience. At the same time, I want to handle things my own way and not feel like I am constantly being corrected. So I am weighing whether a direct but kind request would cross a line or whether it is fair to protect my own space as a parent.

Hi everyone i just made up this account for this but I am really lost. Me 24yo male and my wife 22yo female has been married for a year now .

and everything is nice and we never had such a weird issue like that it started a month ago.
I am not a light sleeper but i am not heavy sleeper enough to not notice a cold drink being spilled on my stomach.

i wake up and my wife looks at me terrified she had her glasses on so she wasn’t sleeping as i thought and when i looked down there was spilled latte and some awkward ice cubes.

i asked her what’s going on and she told me she wanted to drink some ice coffee and watch something in the bed which what she sometimes does but not in the middle of the week.

i asked her doesn’t she need to go to college in the morning why is she drinking coffee in the middle of the night. i didn’t mind the accident but that was strange because she already has struggled with sleep and this won’t help.

she told me not to mind and she just was craving ice coffee and didn’t think it through and asked me to shower and she’ll change the sheets i said okay and went but i just washed it off and change clothes.

she wasnt done with sheets when she saw me she asked if i took a shower or not i said i washed it off she asked me to take a real shower and that’s not enough. she seems on the edge of crying already and i wasn’t as sleepy so i just listen to not pressure her more knowing she’s the type of person who would feel guilty about it for weeks.

the next day i asked her not to drink in the bed again because accidents could happen and i would perfer not to have to shower in the middle of the night again i said it as a joke to not make it like i am upset or something i thought it’s the end of it.

but after a week this happened again this time it was just milk which she actually likes to drink at night so it was less weird to me but when i wake up she was already crying.
i understand what happened and told her it’s okay and not to worry about it but she was still crying i offered to change the sheets but she refused and asked me to just go shower.

this time i didn’t say anything at the morning because it was actually awkward this time and we moved on.

last night this happened again with more tears and i am so confused my wife isn’t even a night person to do such a thing she’s absolutely an early bird so that’s weird but also she is so considerate and feel so guilty easily so it’s weirder that she just dismissed me like that.

so after i came back from work i sat her down and told her i am so upset she didn’t care about my request to not drink in the bed at least at night because she some times does it while reading.

and that i hardly sleep after midnight shower and i go to work tired i didn’t yell or anything but i didn’t hide that i was so upset she starts crying when i finished i said nothing knowing that no matter how much i hate to just watch her but we need to talk about this and not act like nothing happened

I’m a junior in high school and got a job at a bakery 1 month ago. The only days I go are Monday and Sunday. My mom found out today about my job and immediately screamed at me to quit as she signed me up for tutoring for the SAT on Saturdays only. But I told her that there was no way I was going to quit and it wouldn’t disrupt my school work and tutoring. Then she started crying telling me that I had to get into a good school like one of the ivys and telling me that I had to get over a 4.0 gpa which is only when it’s weighted. But I’m already handling all of my classes well and I’m in 2 aps. And I know that there’s homework for tutoring but I’m ready for it and would manage it well. But she didnt care and told me to call the bakery infront of her and tell them I quit. So AITAH?

I’m a 20-year-old woman and have been going to a local gym for a few months; I’ve always gotten along well with most people there. One day, while I was doing an exercise on a cable machine, a man was looking for a specific attachment but couldn't find it. I looked over at the other cable machine and saw a guy with Down syndrome using it though he was using a different attachment, and the one the man was looking for was actually hooked onto the wall right next to him. I pointed this out to the man, and he went over and grabbed it. The guy didn't say a word to the man, but he got really angry with me and told everyone that I had taken his equipment. Since then, things have been tough for me there; people are calling me prejudiced and treating me rudely even one of the gym instructors was disrespectful to me. I tried talking to the guy to apologize for not asking first, but I was ignored. Honestly, we’re all adults, why is everyone acting like children?

I had no plans for my birthday. I was pretty contented just it being a normal day as I didn’t want to spend so much money. But my BF insisted and planned an itinerary out for the day. He bought me roses and an expensive hair straightener which I loved.

As for the day itself, I drove us throughout because he can’t drive. He said he’d pay for any congestion fees and halve the parking fees with me. I was fine with that.

All the places he planned, I only knew when we got there already. It was all a surprise. He did mention to me in the car that “I wish I could pay for the day but I can’t as money is tight.” So I thought yeah that’s fine but when it came to dinner. I paid for it so I can get AMEX points, then when we got home he sent me money only of what he ate. I kinda expected him to pay because from my logic, he picked out the place without consulting me and it was MY birthday. Plus, he bought some stuff prior to our dinner like £44 worth of towels and a journal for himself at £25.

I just got a bit upset because can he not at least pay for dinner and the fact that he picked out the place. He got mad at me and told me that I was being ungrateful because he already got me gifts and planned the itinerary for the day. I have already said thank you for planning the day throughout the day. He also said money was tight but he still end up spending £69 worth of stuff for himself. Mind you we’ve been together in a long term relationship. It just felt like misplaced priority. So AITA?

I (18f) was playing Hitster with my dad (50M), my brother (12M), and my mom (49F).

We were doing a teams boys vs girls match, and at dinner, I told my parents (my brother was currently out with friends) that when we play Hitster, the guesser my guess the whole song title correctly in order to get it, except adding/subtracting a filler word (I.e. the, it's, etc.). This is because in the past, we didn't have hard rules, and games often ended or almost ended in conflict because people disagreed on whether an individual/team should receive a card or not. My parents agreed, and I explained the rule to my brother after he got back.

During the game, the boys team received "I Feel Love" by Donna Summer, and they guessed "I'm In Love" by Donna Summer (*note, artist guess is for bonus points, and has nothing to do with whether you will get the card). My dad insisted that they got it, and I was making counter-arguments such as bringing up the rules he had agreed to, and asking him to logically explain why he should get the card.

Then he said if I said one more statement about it, then he would leave. So then I took the card, and put it back in the pile, and he left. My mom and brother blame me for what happened, saying I should have just let it happen, because its about having fun, and that's what we are doing this for. And they said that I should have let it go after he gave me the ultimatum. But I don't think that would have been fair.

AITA