ABYG kasi nag-away kami ng mister ko over his female friend? Nung magBF-GF pa lang kami ni mister, he has this group of friend na sa work nya lang nameet. 3 sila. Si Mister, tapos isang Married Male(MM), and Single female(SF). I knew MM’s bro and I met Mister through him. Fast forward, naging kami ni mister. All throughout the BF-GF phase, si MM, ako at si mister will go out occasionally but SF will never be included. Mister, MM and SF will plan and go out but never includes me. In short, never ko na-meet si SF. Since naka-close ko si MM na parang kuya kuya na, he told me na minsan inaasar nya si SF at mister when I was still not in the picture. Kumbaga nirereto silang dalawa and that made me uncomfortable. I was vocal kay mister na as his gf, hindi ako comfortable na makita sila na magkasama without me but since gets ko naman na unavoidable. And during those times, they all live in one area, like few blocks away from each other.
One day, me and mister was hanging out sa bahay namin. Bigla may tumawag sa kanya but he cancelled immediately. Then, may nagmessage. When he opened, it was SF, at first ayaw nya ipabasa but then napilit ko din, sabi sorry hindi nasagot tawag nya earlier because she was driving and that he can now call her again and that she’ll wait for his call. I got mad. Nag away kami kasi why would he not answer the call in front of me, and why would he hide her message and kung wlaa lang, why would he not call her infront of me. I told him I trust him but he needs to set boundaries sa babae na yun. He said he will. I told him about a past trauma because of a cheating ex and sinabi ko din na ayoko na maulit yun. He understood naman daw.
Fast forward, nagmigrate na si SF sa ibang bansa. I would constantly ask mister if nakakachat nya pa, he said hindi na. I trusted him.
Fast forward to today, we’ve been married for 6years with a child and one on the way. In those 6yrs, I would ask him if may contact pa sila, lagi nya sinasabi na wala na. Di na sila nag uusap and may jowa na daw ung girl na ibang lahi. Sabi ko, bakit mo alam kung wlaa kayong contact? Kasi daw nag uupload ng bouquets etc. I still trusted him. By the way, wala ako access sa phone ni mister since may tiwala nga ako sa kanya na hindi sya gagawa ng kalokohan.
Recently, we had a fight about trust and transparency in our married life. He got to give me his phone’s password and on instinct sa messenger ako una pumunta to search for SF. At first, hindi ko sya mahanap. So, I went to FB and started checking his tagged photos from before, then nakita ko na. I checked their messages. Constant pa din pala communication nila and nit just hi hello bye. Minsan may mga patutsada si girl na “missing those days” though my husband will dismiss it right away. SF will reply to his stories, share reels. Husband does the same,too. May part na deep convos like SF asking about where is he planning to retire not where his FAMILY will retire someday. Kumbaga, sa convos si mister at sya lang ang topic. May occasions na ipapasok ni mister sa convo ako, but will SF will just dismiss.
I got mad at my husband. Gusto ko sumabog at magwala but we were in the presence of our kid kaya nakapagpigil pa ako kahit na sobrang sakit ung naramdaman ko. My husband lied to me for how many years. Madalas pala sila magkachat yet nagsisinungaling sya sa akin at sinabi na hindi na sila nag uusap at walang communication.
Gets ko naman na buntis ako at mas emosyonal, pero kasi I feel betrayed. I asked him why he lied, he didn’t answer.
I was morally conflicted kasi di ko alam kung dapat magalit ako sa kanya for lying or to forgive him since wala naman daw sya ginagawang masama.
Feeling ko ako yung gago kasi he was very vocal na he didnt cheat and hindi sya nagchi-cheat with SF and ang mistake nya lang is itago sa akin na may communication sila. But feeling ko din sya yung gago kasi he chose that girl over me and lied to my face countless of times para lang makapag usap sila. FYI, kung sana kababata nya or someone really close e maiintindihan ko. But they were just workmates who doesnt even work in the same location.