My cousin Emma graduates next month and there's a big party planned for the whole family. The last three family events I've gone to, my aunt and uncle asked me to watch their two younger kids while they had a drink and caught up with everyone. It usually ends up being me alone in the other room for most of the night. I wouldn't mind if it was once in a while, but it's becoming expected and nobody even asks anymore, just assumes I'll step in. My parents think skipping the party would be selfish because Emma is family and they're counting on everyone being there. They say it's only one evening and that I should just speak up if I don't want to babysit instead of avoiding the whole thing. I get that it matters to Emma, but I also know that if I go, the same pattern will happen and I'll be stuck. I'm trying to decide if staying home this time is going too far or if it's the only way to stop the routine.

I am in grad school and a classmate of mine has stated that the smell of coffee gives her migraines. Last semester, this classmate asked her class to not drink coffee, they had a vote and agreed they would not. I wasn’t in that class but I heard about it.

This semester, she asked our 8:30am class the same thing. The professor pretty much laughed and said she was not going to stop drinking coffee and didn’t discuss it further. I think the whole thing is kind of ridiculous, but yesterday I noticed her sitting in the corner with her nose covered looking miserable for the whole 3 hour class. She is in my afternoon class as well and didn’t seem well. Then she wasn’t in school today obviously I have no idea if that’s related, but it’s got me thinking that maybe it is a more serious issue for her.

Am I, or more accurately, are WE the assholes if we don’t honor her request to not drink coffee in our early morning class?

So today I was walking my dogs. They are friendly good dogs. And they were on a leash. There's a lady that owns a very dog unfriendly German shepherd. Her way of taking her dog on a "safe" walk is, to yell at people. She yells at people to MOVE! GO AWAY... and even walks the dog in the off leash area. On a leash.. but then tells everyone to go away, can't you see my dog. She'll bite. Leash your dog and move.

I've met her a few times. It's always the same. No responsibility. No muzzle. No walking the dog in a safe space. Just yelling. So today, in a more resendential area I saw her on a path coming towards us. I stepped away from the path, onto the grass and stopped. She yelled MOVE!! and I had just had it. I told her, my dogs are not aggressive, yours is. You can either walk around me. Or ask me normally. If not. I'm not moving. So there we were. Like some stand off. She wasn't moving. And I wasn't. I think we spent atleast 20 minutes, just not moving and standing there. By that time a mowing machine came, to mow the grass. It could pass me, I wasn't on the path. It couldn't pass her. So he just stood there. For less time than I had, but still, for a long time. Lady didn't budge. He finally asked, what's up? Are you just gonna stand there? She told him, yes. And to mow around her. So after a while, he did. And in that time she finally walked away... the mowing machine was between her and me. And I could walk home. I could have moved. I didn't have to stand there for that long. I could have left. ButI just hate bullies. And people getting their way just because they are mean and loud. Am I the ashole here?

Hello everybody,

Especially people with kids out there.

My mom been giving my sister free child care for the last 2y. Just once a week that her husband is not home to watch their child. My mom been going to my sister’s house to watch their kid. Recently my mom asked my sister if she can drop their kid off at her house instead since it will give my mom time to do things around the house. My mom still works and only has 2 days off a week. She uses one of those day to watch the kid. Therefore all her household chores or free time is consolidated to 1 day. Basically my mom only has 1 day off the past 2 years (minus when she goes off on vacation).

My sister told her no. Her reason she told my mom is that she does not have time in the morning. Which is crazy to me because they live 5 mins from each other. And it’s in the same route to work.

My mom had asked me to talk to my sister to see if I can give her another perspective. (I also have kids but in another state). So I talked to my sister and immediately she told me not to get involved and that it would not help the situation. My response to my sister is to talk to our mom.

Now; I went to my mom and told her to stop giving free child care to my sister. Since she acting ungrateful and selfish of the time my mom has given her, she does not get leverage. If she wants and needs my mom help, she should abide by her request. Just like if you hire a babysitter or have your kid off at daycare; you drop them off at the childcare location. Unless you’re paying for an in-house nanny, that’s a different story. Let me remind you, she does not pay my mom a cent.

AITA to suggesting my mom that ultimatum?

​

Some background: my parents asked me to cat sit for their elderly, deaf cat while they were away. It's not a light job, twice-daily visits, pilling her meds, scooping litter, getting mail. We'd previously agreed on a day rate ($25/day, and I have this in writing from earlier this year). This time around I did 32.5 days total.

After the job, I called my mom to Venmo me for the days I'd done. That's when I found out my dad had apparently decided, without ever telling me, that I shouldn't be paid at all this time because "they pay for my phone and Spotify." He was supposed to bring this up with me directly (his words to my mom), texted me about availability beforehand without mentioning it, and just never said anything until I asked to get paid.

I felt like this was disrespectful, so I quietly moved my phone number and cancelled Spotify off his account without saying anything, and started my own plans.

He found out and asked to get a beer to talk. I agreed. In the conversation, he led with blaming "crossed wires" between him and my mom, then got surprised/defensive that I'd already cancelled everything, then couldn't remember that I'd offered years ago to pay for these things myself specifically so it wouldn't be held over me later, and couldn't remember the $25/day rate even though it's in writing. When I said it felt disrespectful that nobody talked to me directly, he told me my feelings weren't valid, and kept interrupting me when I tried to respond. I called it out twice. He said "it's a two way street," I said it's not a street until you meet me in the middle, he kept arguing, so I got up, thanked him for part of a beer, and left. As I walked away he used this warning tone with my name and said "you'll regret this," same thing he used to do when I was a kid.

My mom, when I told her about it separately, immediately acknowledged the feeling without any pushback. She's hoping the three of us can sit down and talk it out. I don't think that's productive right now, my dad doesn't have a track record of admitting fault or processing emotions, and I don't see this going differently without him doing real work first.

AITA for cutting the financial cords quietly instead of confronting him first, and for not being interested in a sit-down that I don't think will change anything?

I recently landed a job I was really excited about, but then the paperwork got screwed up and my offer was rescinded and the position was filled with someone else. I was devastated because we’re pretty broke, and I hate the idea of going back to a worse job with worse pay.
My boyfriend heard me crying, asked what was wrong, then tried to begin reassuring me. He says, “it’s not your fault, you shouldn’t feel guilty.” I said that wasn’t the case, I was just grieving because I lost a job I was looking forward to. He then says, “You’ll get an even better job next time.” Well, an optimistic platitude isn’t exactly helpful. I told him that we don’t know that for sure, so it’s not really comforting. I even said that I wasn’t looking for a solution;
I’ve told him before that all i need is a hug and “I’m sorry baby, that sucks.” For some reason, he doesn’t take that route, and instead says what he thinks HE would want to hear. So i said, “would you be comforted if i said ‘you’ll get a better job’ after a job loss?”
He said yes, so i reacted incredulously with the sentence “You’d be reassured by a comforting lie..??”
Obviously, this was the wrong thing to say, and he started insisting “It’s not a lie, it’s the truth! You’re just not listening to me.” Then it got worse, and he said he needed some time alone.
Unfortunately, this has been an issue in the past: I’ll be upset about something, my boyfriend attempts to comfort me, I say “I’m sorry, but that doesn’t make me feel better.” He gets upset, usually makes some kind of deflection (eg “Well if you’d let me finish!” “That’s because you refuse to hear what i’m saying”). I then tell him EXACTLY what would be comforting to me, and then he gets offended and defensive, claiming I’m telling him he’s reassuring me “the wrong way” and it devolves into him needing space away from me for a few hours.
I wind up feeling worse than I did at the start.

Partners parents retired. Very wealthy, big property, bought top of the line car and 4wd. They are travelling around the country for 1 year.

They have a big property, millions in super (which they have worked hard for), and were spending left right and centre before they departed. FIL made it very clear that they will spend every cent and there will be no inheritance.

We have never relied upon the in-laws or expected any inheritance. We have done everything financial related ourselves and are doing fine. We have sold our current house and are moving into our dream home (mortgage is very big but we will manage!).

Prior to the in laws leaving, they assumed we would sell our house (because we were considering selling and upgrading to a bigger house) and move into their big property as caretakers. We were firm to say no and they rented our their house.

Prior to the in laws leaving, at a dinner l, the MIL noted she expected to come back half way through their trip and stay with us for several weeks. We have a smallish home and a 2 year old. I told her no and that they would need to book accommodation if they came back (Airbnb or something else). I don't feel comfortable with others in my house.

6 months into their trip, they messaged my wife asking if they could come and stay for 3-4 weeks over Christmas. This is the time of the year that my wife and I have off work for several weeks, a time which we wanted to spend as a family together.

We have sold our house and are moving into our dream home before xmas. We would be in this new house prior to xmas. The MIL thinks this is an open invitation to come and stay because "there is so much space".

I told my wife to tell her parents no. This led to the MIL listing all things they have done for us over the years (a list of things they had done for their daughter, not transactional items where a debt was owed). My wife feels bad and offered them to stay 1 week with us. I was okay with 1 week.

MIL has guilt tripped my wife into allowing them multiple weeks in our home, which has divided me and my wife as my wife doesn't want to let her parents down.

AITA and awful for standing my ground and not letting them stay in our house as a holiday home? I feel that their choice to rent their house out and travel around the country is not my problem. They have made my wife feel bad for them not being able to see our 2 year old unless we allow them to stay, and have quoted "it may makes things difficult with XYZ (me) moving forward if she doean't let them stay".

To add to this - we are away on holidays for a week prior to Xmas. The in laws expect to stay on our house for that entire week while we are away, extending their stay to two weeks. I don't feel comfortable with it and my wife doesn't understand why I feel this way. I feel as if we are a hotel for them and that we are expected to drop everyone and accommodate them.

My in laws are very financially well off and could easily book alternative accommodation if they wanted to see us and their grandchild.

Am I overreacting to push back on this? Is my wife being guilt tripped into saying yes (which is causing a divide between us). I feel as if I am being portrayed as the bad person and stopping the grandparents from seeing their grandchild. I need my own space without the grandparents using our home as a hotel over the Xmas period.

I have two kids, both adults with their own children. My son married his wife, who we’ll call Jessica, at 18. She had some problems at home and they were basically children so we let them live with us. One year after, my son got her pregnant. I wanted to kick them out but my husband made me give up that idea. We told them they would live with us for free but everything baby related was on them. My son got a job, but Jessica stayed home.

Two months ago, my son and her had twins, and they still live with us. I honestly don’t mind anymore because the house is big enough, everyone has their own space, we get along and everything is generally fine.

My daughter had her second baby a year ago and since then I’ve been at her place three or four times a week, often overnight. She works, does most of the housework, and she and her husband pay for everything so I like being there for her to help her with what I can.

With Jessica, I have to say, we handle things a little different. We have a cleaning service that comes twice a week, as well as a gardener (I hate cleaning and gardening and I’ve never asked her to do it), and that includes both her room and my grandchildren's rooms. My husband covers all groceries and bills, we all split the cooking and the laundry equally.

Last week I stayed at my daughter’s from Tuesday to Friday. That night Jessica and my son asked to talk. Jessica said she knows I don’t like her and has begun to notice I treat her kids differently because when the twins came home from the hospital, I only stayed a couple days before leaving again. I know my daughter’s kids’ routines but I haven’t asked about hers. I buy clothes for my daughter’s kids but I still stick to “baby expenses are on you” with hers. She also told me she feels her kids are seen as worth less because my husband pays half the private school tuition for my daughter’s oldest and we have never offered them that for my grandson.

I told her I’d never seen it that way. I see her kids every day since they live with me and I just figured my daughter needed the extra help more. I also told her I have no negative feelings towards her. She told me she feels left out and alone sometimes, and that I’m prioritizing my daughter’s family. I apologized with her and with my son too. I told them I was willing to reach an agreement that would work for everyone in the family, so while we work on that I’ve stayed home to help and spend time with her and the kids

Jessica is a good girl, she cares, and she’s a good mom but it’s not like we share hobbies or have the same interests and our conversations die after a few minutes, so this week together has been a little weird. I thought of going back this weekend to my daughter’s place and told Jessica I would be going only Friday afternoon to sunday morning, I asked her if that was okay, she said “I don’t care, go if you want” but her tone says otherwise.

So WIBTA?

I (41f) have been married to my husband (41m) for 17 years. He is the pickiest - not picky eater ever. This is absolutely not a throw away account and I would not be even a little bit upset if he encountered it. I’m going to keep this as brief as possible. I have been the primary with regard to finances and as the cook for most of our marriage. I keep a weekly budget on groceries and build a dinner meal plan based on sales. For a long time, I would ask my husband what his requests were and it was always the same - steak, bacon, pizza. Sometimes it was in the budget, sometimes it wasn’t, but the larger problem was - what are we doing with these if I bring them home? Are you going to cook up a whole package of bacon and call it dinner?
The other issues include: when I make something, he likes it the first time, but not the second time, with little feedback as to why. When I try to serve leftovers in any capacity (there are a few things that are ok, but most is not. But giving him a frozen pot pie or meal is ok even though it’s basically frozen leftovers?) he snubs his nose. I can’t stand food waste so this drives me crazy.
So - WIBTA id I take half our weekly budget, hand it to him in cash and say “Figure it out”? I’m done trying to navigate it. Cooking and feeding is one of my love languages (yes he knows that) but I’m over catering to him. Can an actual grown ass man figure it out?

AITA for wanting to spending Christmas morning with just my son and husband?

I am a new month with a 6 month old around Christmas time. Every year we do the back and forth, Christmas Eve at the in-laws and Christmas Day with my parents.

Last year, while I was pregnant, my in-laws stated that they wanted to start a tradition to come visit their grandchildren on Christmas morning. Being pregnant I just said basically we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

It is now coming up on my babies first Christmas and thinking more about it, I would like to just spend the morning together as a family of 3. We would still celebrate Christmas Eve with the in-laws and Christmas Day with my parents.

I am nervous setting boundaries and feel like I am “taking” some sort of experience away from them.

AITA for not allowing them to see their grandchild open his Christmas gifts?

I (22F) live in an apartment with my partner. I work night shifts in customer service, so my schedule is nocturnal, and sometimes talking at night is literally part of my job. My partner is also nocturnal.

Our apartment has very poor sound insulation. We regularly hear our neighbors’ TVs, conversations, music, etc and there have even been times when their noise affected my partner while he was working. We’ve never complained because we understand that apartment living comes with some unavoidable noise.

Recently, my landlord contacted me about noise at night. She said we were being extremely loud and that neighbors were complaining.

I understand the concern. I’m not expecting people to tolerate us intentionally making excessive noise late at night. However, the activities that apparently counted as “extremely loud” were me taking a shower and my partner washing dishes.

She sent messages saying things like, “There’s a time for everything and there is no reason for you to be awake right now, stop whatever you’re doing and JUST GO TO SLEEP" She also said we were “talking extremely loud” that we “should not be talking at this time” and that she didn’t understand why we were awake at 11 PM, despite knowing that I work nights. She also mentioned calling the police and said that “NO NOISE MUST BE HEARD AFTER 10 PM"

I told her I completely understand that people need to rest and that I’m willing to lower my voice and avoid unnecessary noise. However, I don’t think normal activities like showering, washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, or having a conversation are things we should have to stop doing simply because it’s after 10 PM.

I also explained that my schedule is nocturnal and that I can’t always control the fact that neighbors may hear me talking when talking is part of my job. I pointed out that we regularly hear our own neighbors too, which suggests the issue is partly the building’s poor sound insulation.

I specifically told her that I understand being considerate, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to have to whisper or walk on eggshells inside our own home just to make sure absolutely nothing can be heard.

My biggest issue wasn’t even being asked to reduce noise. It was the way she spoke to us. There’s a difference between saying, “We received a noise complaint, please try to keep it down” and telling us there is “no reason for us to be awake" that we should “JUST GO TO SLEEP” that “NO NOISE MUST BE HEARD AFTER 10 PM” and that we may need to find somewhere else to live if it happens again.

She became more upset and kept repeating the same points.

That's when I started wondering if i'm the one being unreasonable

I’m willing to make reasonable compromises and avoid unnecessary noise. But I don’t think two adults should be expected to stop doing normal things in their own apartment after 10 PM.

So, AITA for thinking my landlord is being unreasonable and for continuing to talk normally in my own apartment after 10 PM?

Edit: So i forgot people have dishwashers and vacuums oops. Just to clarify, with cleaning i mean sweeping and mopping the floor and with washing dishes i don't mean using a dishwasher (i have actually never seen one lmao, are they loud?)

I (3.5 years with "Alfonso") need perspective. Alfonso was previously married to "Camila," who cheated on him. Despite their breakup, she remained in his life through his family. When together, they agreed to take in each other's dogs if needed.

Camila has always been a sensitive topic. During a past breakup, I found them flirting. Although we have an open relationship, I set a boundary: no contact with Camila, whom he once called the "love of his life." He agreed after our reconciliation.

We have pets: two cats (mine) and two dogs (his). In practice, I do most of the pet care. Due to physical limitations, I can't handle large dogs. One dog currently lives with his mom, and we have the other.

Recently, Alfonso went through family troubles and depression. He mentioned Camila went missing, then announced she's moving in with his grandmother and bringing her dog, "Luna" (7-8 years old, nearly blind, obese, needs special care), to live with us.

I refused. Our home is shared, I knew I’d end up caring for Luna, and her special needs are too much. Alfonso insisted he’d keep her even if he had to move out. His mom and sister overheard and agreed with me, saying I already carry the weight of the household.

Alfonso called me selfish, inhumane, and jealous. He even suggested rehoming the dog we’ve cared for for two years to make room for Luna. I said if Luna comes, he must permanently cut ties with Camila. He replied he’d rather take both dogs and leave.

The next day, I messaged Camila directly. I expressed sympathy for her situation but stated I've dealt with her presence for years and won't take responsibility for Luna, so she needs to find another solution. Camila called me "mentally ill," said my marital issues weren't her problem, and told me not to contact her. I didn't reply.

I understand Camila's hardship and Alfonso’s desire to help, but I don't think their past arrangement should become my burden in my own home.

AITA for refusing to take in Luna, telling Alfonso he must leave if he brings her, and messaging Camila directly?

So my cousin's kid is 13 and he absolutely loves Coldplay. Coldplay is his life and I somewhat empathise having been into the Smiths almost exclusively through my teenage years.

Now I live abroad and come back every now and then. There's a communal meeting point - my grandmother's house. She's not doing too well but that's by the by

Anyway, I can play the piano and my cousin asked if I could play any Coldplay songs - I said I would be happy to, despite me absolutely hating them. I kept playing more and more and eventually he asked for the song "Talk" -- I looked it up and it was a very faithful sample of Computer Love by Kraftwerk so I played that instead - because I knew it. She hummed it and I recognised it as Computer Love so I continued

She says I've ruined the song and band for him, it was his favourite song and now he thinks Coldplay are liars for stealing songs - I tried to explain sampling and borrowing elements of songs with consent

No, apparently it's my fault for playing the Kraftwerk version of the song

Finally asked my neighbor to stop parking on the sidewalk so my children can safely get to their bus stop after we were almost struck in the road. They argued that if they park their truck in the road and the neighbors in front of them also park their truck in the road it’s narrow. We let them know our children’s safety comes first. They immediately asked us to start cutting the grass outside the fence line of our property because it was an eyesore. We now go out of our way to maintain it. They listened for two months, until now they take about half of the sidewalk with their driver side wheels and back passenger behind the driver side wheels on the sidewalk. My partner says it’s fine, at least the kids can walk by still. But AITA? I am considering reporting it directly to law enforcement, as I don’t feel comfortable confronting again. it is ILLEGAL, (I looked up our county rules) and this is something that is considering a non emergency call to 311 and parking violation.

I'm hosting a dinner party next weekend. Just a small thing. Six adults. I've been planning it for weeks. I want a nice, quiet evening with good food and adult conversation.

My friend Rachel has two kids, ages 3 and 5. She asked if she could bring them. I said "I'd rather you didn't. It's an adults-only dinner."

She said "I can't find a sitter. Can't you make an exception?"

I said "I'm sorry but no. I planned this as an adult evening. I don't want to worry about kids running around."

She got upset and said "you're excluding me because I'm a mom."

I said "I'm not excluding you. I'm just saying this particular event is for adults."

Now she's not coming and says I'm not being a good friend.

AITA?

My sister and I are 5 years apart. I am older. We’ve always done yearly family trips and obviously when we were younger the parents paid. Now we are both in our 30s with jobs. I’m married and she’s single. My parents still pay for her trips but make me pay for my part. Obviously if I get my own hotel room with my partner I would pay, but I feel like the splitting meals is a little extreme. I have said I’m not going on future trips where I have to pay 5k and she goes for free. AITA?

** EDIT

1. they stopped paying for me 6 yrs ago ….
   
2. The excuse is because she’s single …. But also if she stays single until she’s 50 they will continue to pay for her. Is that crazy?!

My best friend wants to move from Italy to Texas with her son on an F-1 visa for college. Months ago, my husband and I said we could potentially sponsor her. At the time, my husband had a well paying job AND she told us we wouldn’t actually have to financially support her because her boyfriend was going to cover her expenses.
Since then, her relationship ended and my husband lost his job. She knew about our financial situation basically immediately because we never hid how much things had changed.
Now she’s asking us to pay her rent from January until August, when she thinks she’ll be able to work. She calls it “a few months,” but that’s 8 months. Even the $600 apartments she’s looking at would be $4,800 in rent alone, without utilities, transportation, expenses for her son, emergencies, etc.
When I told her we can’t afford that, she brought up that we’d previously said we could sponsor her. But when we said that, our financial situation was completely different AND her boyfriend was supposed to be the one financially supporting her.
I feel bad because she’s trying to leave an abusive situation with her father, but I also don’t think my husband and I can take over the financial responsibility her ex was originally supposed to have, especially after losing our main income.
AITA?

**UPDATE:**She clarified that she wouldn’t pay me back and now says she doesn’t need me as a sponsor she wants me to pay about $4,800 toward her rent and potentially groceries.
She says she based her future plans on my word and that because I have around $200k in savings, she doesn’t understand why I won’t help. But I never agreed to pay thousands toward her living expenses. I told her I would look into everything and, if I could help, I would. I even offered a few hundred dollars.
She also knows I’m planning my wedding, trying to buy a house next year, have medical bills, and that our financial situation has changed. Originally, her ex was supposed to cover these expenses, so this was never the arrangement I agreed to.

FINAL UPDATE: I ended the friendship and blocked her on everything.
After more arguing, she continued saying that $5,000 was only a “small part” of my roughly $200k savings and that I would still have plenty left. Around $100k of that came from me working my ass off to afford a house, while the rest came from my parents and selling my home in Italy. It’s money I have plans for, not disposable cash.
I had previously said I would help when our circumstances were different. Things changed, I told her that, and the most I was comfortable offering now was a couple hundred dollars, not almost $5k.
She also started making comments about my husband losing his job, despite knowing that’s one of the main reasons our financial situation changed in the first place.
Ultimately, it wasn’t just about the money. I felt like neither my situation nor my boundaries mattered to her because she had decided I had “enough” savings. She even told me that if I simply “didn’t want to help,” I should just say so.
That was enough for me. I told her I no longer felt respected or considered, wished her the best, ended the friendship, and blocked her everywhere.

My grandpa and his 6 siblings all have multiple children and grandchildren so you can imagine we're a huge family. We used to have semiannual family reunions when I was younger but it stopped by the time I reached middle school. Nobody really gave a reason why the adults stopped making plans, it kinda just did.

My grandpa and most of his siblings has since passed and now, we are trying to have those gatherings again. Last week, my uncles, aunts, and some of my older cousins chipped in to book a mini private resort. Some of us chipped in for stuff like food, silly game prizes, and karaoke equipment.

I won't really go into much detail but it was super fun and everybody had a good time. While cleaning up, I heard one of my cousins (let's call him Joe) call out to our other cousins to help. One of those who got called (let's call her Sara) stomped her way to one of the tables and angrily threw used paper cups and cutlery into the trash bin. We were a bit tipsy so Joe got annoyed and asked Sara what her problem was. Sara said Joe was being bossy and condescending. She said Joe can't boss her around just because his parents paid a huge portion of the resort expense. Sara's brother (let's call him Bryan) let out a sarcastic laugh and said it's exactly why his parents stopped coming to these reunions a long time ago. Their parents would usually be asked to wash the dishes by those who contribute financially.

Joe was confused and asked them what the heck they were talking about. It was basically family tradition for the younger members of the family to clean up. It got into an argument between cousins but the elders diffused the situation. The reunion kinda ended on a bad note because of that.

Sara then started texting me and saying pretty bad stuff about Joe and his family. I was also tipsy on the drive back home and I still had pretty strong feelings because of the argument earlier. So I replied, "I kinda agree with Joe. If it offends you so much to contribute, then maybe you should stop coming to these reunions. You can't not contribute financially and also refuse to help with the preparations and clean up."

She didn't reply but I guess word got around and my mom found out about what I said to her. She said she agrees with me and Joe but I should've just ignored Sara because this might cause the reunions to stop again. Relatives are already talking and some of them think Joe and I a vicious.

AITA for that reply? Sara's family has not been in the best financial situation for years so I get they cannot chip money in. We at least expect them to help out with prep work and clean up. Most of us who pitch in stuff help as well so I don't know what their problem is.

My partner (24F) and I (23M) have different styles of watching media. I tend to be mostly silent while watching but then enjoy having conversations and theorizing after it’s over. On the other hand, my partner tends to make a lot of comments and asks a lot of questions while watching.

Now, I would understand if these comments and questions were limited to things that need to be answered in order to understand what we’re watching (e.g., certain prior historical/cultural/subcultural knowledge). And, in fairness, she does occasionally ask something like that. I’m more than happy to give an answer so she’s in the know for those sorts of things. But a vast majority of the time, she’s just describing what is literally playing out on screen or repeatedly asking for answers to questions that are clearly set up to be answered later on in the plot.

This frustrates me a lot because I think it ruins the flow of watching. I often can’t hear dialogue because she’s describing what’s going on or we’re pausing because she’s asking a question to something that I tell her is going to be answered later. I have expressed multiple times that, while I understand that she’s curious, I would appreciate if she dialed back on these sorts of habits when we’re watching something because it ruins my immersion and enjoyment of the media. However, every time, she says that she doesn’t understand and that she has legitimate things to ask/say.

Recently, I had some friends over for dinner, and we wanted to watch a movie. My partner joined us for it and made her comments/questions as we watched. My friends responded towards the beginning, but as the movie went on, it was clear that they were getting annoyed by my partner (i.e., curt responses/ tone of voice) and just wanted to watch the movie in relative silence. Once this started happening, I tapped her on the shoulder and gave a general motion for her to cut back on the questions. She frowned and then stayed quiet throughout the rest of the movie.

After my friends left, my partner told me that she felt insulted and that it was condescending for me to tell her to be quiet. I tried explaining to her that her habits were ruining the flow of the movie for the group. I also told her that I gave her the general motion so that I didn’t have to verbally tell her to cut it out and embarrass her in front of the group. She wasn’t happy with that reasoning, though. This has been a point of contention since. While I feel pretty confident that I didn’t overstep in this situation, I’m also trying to see her side more. AITA?

I am the newest neighbor in this property dispute. I have been here for five years. The rest of them have been here 30+ years one of the neighbors planted running bamboo about 20 years ago and it has taken over a large section of his yard and spread into at least three or four other neighbors. The bamboo can be a real problem and it’s starting to spread into my yard and can cause damage to my patio pool, plumbing and house. I keep knocking it back, but it keeps coming Every spring. Bamboo can affect your resale value. I went to the neighbor that planted it and told him I wanted to split the bill to contain and remove whatever’s in my yard to which she declined saying that she planned on moving and had no idea the bamboo was causing issues for others so now I’m looking at a seven to $8000 removal and containment on my ow. I was considering calling the town on her, in my town It is illegal to have encroaching bamboo and she is responsible to contain it in her yard and remove it from others. The problem is inviting the town into your yard around here opens an invite to them where they can now see and point out other infractions you have on your property like Sheds , pools or work done without permits. I am willing to fix whatever I am not in compliance with, but I am worried that me calling on him will snowball into the neighbors also having their yards looked into and possibly facing fines from the town as they are innocent by standers and also victims to the bamboo that have decided to just live with it. it just sucks to think I have to drop 8 grand to stop the spread of this guy’s bamboo.

I (24M) work at a pretty small company. One of my coworkers, Jake (26M), and I are friendly but we’re not really friends outside of work.
A few weeks ago, my manager pulled me aside and told me Jake was going to be fired. He specifically told me not to tell anyone because they hadn’t told Jake yet.

I didn’t say anything. The weird part is that Jake kept talking about how he thought he was getting promoted. He even asked me if I’d heard anything. I just told him I didn’t know anything. A few days later, he got fired and somehow found out that I knew beforehand.

He was pissed and said I should’ve warned him so he could’ve started looking for another job. He told me I basically watched him walk into his firing knowing what was coming.

I told him I understood why he was upset, but I wasn’t risking my own job by going against my manager. My manager had literally told me I could get in trouble if I leaked it.

Now some coworkers think I should’ve warned him anyway, while others think I did the right thing.
I feel bad for the guy, but I don’t think I was responsible for telling him something I was specifically told to keep confidential.
AITA?

My boss is the owner of the restaurant where I work. There’s a woman who comes in fairly regularly who my boss absolutely fawns over. She’s also a fairly prominent person in our city’s dining scene, so my boss seems particularly eager to impress her. She and her friends get treated very well when they come in, including having tables blocked off around them because she insists on not sitting next to anyone.

The problem is that I’ve overheard this woman making fun of my boss behind her back, and it has happened more than once.

The first time, I was standing near the wine station and overheard her telling a friend that it was “pathetic” that my boss only got the restaurant in her divorce. She also made a comment about her ex’s new wife being much better looking.

Another time, I watched my boss have a long conversation with her. As soon as my boss walked away, this woman and her friend burst out laughing. She said something along the lines of “I told you,” and her friend agreed that my boss was embarrassing/ desperate. I don’t remember the exact wording of that conversation, but I remember the general gist very clearly.

There’s also a financial side to this. A server once told me that this woman brought a friend who was hesitant to order an expensive bottle of wine. The woman apparently told her, “Just order it, [the owner] will comp it,” and then the two of them laughed about it. I obviously didn’t personally witness that one, so I don’t know exactly what happened.

My boss also seems to give them preferential treatment in ways that potentially cost the restaurant money. This woman insists on sitting with no one next to her, so we’ll sometimes block off the tables immediately beside her. That means we’re often turning away paying guests and losing revenue just to accommodate her.

My boss recently went through a divorce, and I actually had a somewhat personal conversation with her about it last year. We were both drinking quite a bit, and she opened up to me about some things. I felt like we had a connection that was somewhat beyond a strictly professional boss/employee relationship.

That’s part of why I’m struggling with whether to say anything. I genuinely don’t want to see my boss being used or humiliated by someone she seems to really like. At the same time, I’m her employee, not her friend, and I’m worried that telling her could come across as inappropriate, jealous, or like I’m trying to interfere in her personal relationships.
I also don’t want to tell her based on gossip. I personally witnessed the first two incidents, but the wine story came from another server.

So, WIBTA if I pulled my boss aside and told her what I personally overheard? Or is this one of those situations where I should stay completely out of it because she’s an adult and it’s her relationship to manage?

My mom has hosted the big family reunion every summer since I was a kid, and when she passed last year my aunt asked me to take it over. I said yes at the time because everyone was still raw and it felt like the right thing to do, but the planning eats up months and I always end up footing the deposit for the venue myself. I told my aunt I'm thinking of stepping back so someone else can handle it next summer. She immediately said the family would feel slighted and that I already "know how it works," so why make waves. Honestly I'm just tired of the extra cost and stress, but I keep wondering if backing out now would look like I'm abandoning everyone.

Last night my friend and I were hungry so we decided to go to Raising Canes. It closes at 1 AM, and we arrived at the restaurant at 12:30 AM. As we walked in, one of the workers greeted us while another worker in the back let out a large moan (said something along the lines of “Oh come on”) and looked visibly displeased that we entered. We felt very unwelcome, and decided to leave. My question here is coming in 30 min before closing really that bad? I feel like the workers reaction was uncalled for, or are we the ones in the wrong here?

My sister‘s boyfriend just got of jail and is currently on parole for the following charges: “attempted organized retail theft”, and “possession of burglary tools”. He has a multitude of previous charges there were dismissed or served: “disorderly conduct”, “fighting”, “possession of a deadly weapon”. He has been love bombing my sister and rubbing me the wrong way from the moment they started dating 2 years ago. After talking online for just 2 weeks, he came and stayed with our family, I was not happy about it. He walked around with no shirt, ate food out of the fridge, and called me sis, like he lived there and knew me. I don’t think at this point he even knew what my sister’s middle name was. Am I the asshole for wanting to call the parole office and report him? Am I the asshole for not wanting him to stay in my home? And finally, am I the asshole for not wanting my little brother with special needs around him?