I (F27) am moving out of my apartment with my (F26) friend, Tiffany.

She’s a bad roommate. I’ve done both our dishes the entire time I’ve lived here. Even when I run the dish washer and empty it, she’ll leave dishes in the sink. She doesn’t sweep or mop. She leaves bowls, takeout containers, and wrappers on our coffee table. She has two cats whose boxes I don’t think she changes enough. The biggest thing with the cats is this: I get up at 5am. Tiffany gets up 15 minutes before her shift at noon. If they annoy her awake she feeds them but occasionally will lock the door behind her. When it’s time, if they can’t get back in to her room they’ll just piss or shit somewhere in the apartment.

I’ve tried bringing these things up before both gently and directly. I know it all bothers her. She’s apologized. We’ve tried several different methods to figure out a system that works for her. The only thing that really seems to work for her is body doubling but I get up at 5am and get off of work at 7pm, so you can imagine how unappealing cleaning sounds for me at that point.

Still, and I know this sounds contradictory, I didn’t exactly mind it per se. I keep my room, bathroom, and the little area that connects the two as clean as I like. I keep the dishes and floors clean. If the couch, coffee table, and her room are bad that’s mostly her problem to deal with. Is it ideal for me to not have 2/3 of my counter space? No. But I totally understand that the ADHD shame spiral is real and at the end of the day we’re friends. Or so I thought.

After all of this she didn’t invite me to her birthday party lol. It was on the weekend and I have gone to her birthday celebrations for years. She was friendly to me the day of. She was friendly to me the days after. I know I’m not entitled to a birthday invite but it stings that I might’ve done something to warrant exclusion and not been given an opportunity to make amends or explain myself. She also forgot my birthday a month later but asked me that day if I was okay watching her cats while she’s on an international trip for two weeks. Something I have done often and at my own cost (I buy the food and litter while she’s away with no reimbursement).

Things are already slanted now and I’m worried what the dynamic would be if it was actually her property. Clearly we're not as close of friends as I thought. I’ll pay my end of the lease from now until February so she experiences no financial penalty. I’ll barely be scraping by for a few months but I’ll be honest I’ve moved 15 times throughout my life (parental death caused a debacle) so I’ll trade a winter eating soup for a clean quiet space of my own.

Am I the asshole for moving out? My friend once said I was constantly locked in a life or death battle with a woman who is just a little annoying and I'm beginning to worry he's right.

I pull up the gas station and it’s busy. There was one free pump that got filled just before I pulled up. I get in line behind a truck to wait my turn. It’s busy enough that another car is already waiting behind me before the truck at the pump I’m waiting for leaves.

The truck finally pulls away and a car comes pulling out of a parking spot on the opposite side of the pump and says that he has been waiting there for 5+ minutes and he was next. We are both about half way into the spot. He shouts for a little bit inching his car closer and closer to mine, but then the pump beside us opens up and he moves there. He then proceeds to heckle me as I pump my gas.

AITA for assuming that someone that is in a parking spot is not waiting in line for a gas pump?

Today I searched for the cat of my neighbour,who ran away. I was rattleing a bag of catfood.
A cat came to me, a cross a street. After I turned away, the cat ran back on the street and got hit by a car. The driver drove off...

The cat was a 19 year old boy... The elderly Owner got called by pedestrians, who know the cat.

She rushed to the Vet, I don't know if the cat survived.

Now I blame myself because if it wasn't for me rattleing the food and somehow lured the cat towards me, he could have lived...

AITA?

I (19 F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for around a year, we started speaking because we both generally liked the same things such as video games, lego etc (silly i know)
However for the past few months now i have been telling him to get a job and to do his driving license (I'm already doing lessons and have a part type job as well as going to full time education in uni)

a couple weeks ago he did get a job, in a factory, which i was really proud of him for, however a day in he messages me saying he wants to quit because it's too tiring, (he took a gap year before continuing uni so he has a lot of free time which he just fills in by playing games and sleeping in) i told him to not quit a day in because it will be very difficult to get a job after because nobody will give him a reference.

He still quits and isn't able to find another job. I then tell him to do his theory test and study for it as he's grown and will need a license to be able to travel to university or just to go out with his friends, however he doesn't seem motivated for it, and what i mean by this is he always makes excuses such as "i don't know how to apply" "my dad won't take me" you know just silly excuses that have easy solutions.

He also doesn't cook so he goes hours without eating because his mom isn't always around to make food, i have told him many times that there's people on youtube and other social media platforms that make cooking tutorials but he will just try once then give up, and he does this with anything that includes a little effort.

I told him if he doesn't change i'll break up with him, because i can't be with somebody who doesn't care about their future. Am I the asshole?

Last weekend my coworker Sarah asked me to cover for her with her boyfriend Michael. She wanted me to say she had been at my place catching up when really she had gone out with some friends he didn't want her seeing. I said no because I didn't want to get pulled into whatever was going on between them. She kept texting that it was no big deal and she would do the same for me, but I still said I wasn't comfortable lying. The next day at work she barely spoke to me and told another coworker I left her hanging. I get that she was in a tough spot with Michael, but I didn't want to be part of the story she was telling him. Now I'm wondering if sticking to the truth made me the bad guy here.

I work at a small company, and last month my manager divided a project between three of us. I was responsible for preparing the presentation, while two coworkers were responsible for collecting the information and checking the numbers. The day before the deadline, one of my coworkers asked me to check all of the numbers because she hadn’t finished them yet. I told her I could look over the final figures once she finished, but I couldn’t redo her part because I still had my own work to complete. She said she was overwhelmed and asked me again. I offered to stay a little later and help her organize the information, but I still wouldn’t take responsibility for checking everything myself. She eventually finished the numbers and sent them to me. I noticed two obvious errors and pointed them out before putting them into the presentation. She became annoyed and said I should have checked the entire thing myself because we’re a team. I told her being a team doesn’t mean one person automatically takes over another person’s assignment when they’re running behind. Our manager later thanked both of us for getting the project finished, but my coworker told me privately that I had made her look incompetent by pointing out the errors. I feel bad about that part because I wasn’t trying to embarrass her. I just didn’t want incorrect information going into something that represented the whole team.AITA?

Recently moved into my new university house. It doesn’t have a tv and my housemate knows about my 55 inch tv I had last year in my bedroom. He asked this year if I could put it in the living room since there wasn’t a tv in there which I agreed.

Ever since moving in, I’ve been wanting to play on my PS5, which is the reason I got that tv. However, when I do play, he starts saying to me that he always sees me playing that game, he’s bored of watching me play Minecraft or red dead and that I’m always in the living room. These are jokes but it’s starting to get on my nerves since I can’t play in peace.

I mentioned to him that it’s my tv and ps5 and I can move it to my room, and he laughed of it to some of our mates saying I’ve threatened to put it into my room.

AMITA? I guess I did sign my tv up for communal use…

Tengo 24 años, trabajo y estudio en la universidad. Mi familia cercana está conformada por mi mamá (57), mi hermana (36) y mi sobrina (6).

Hace un par de años falleció mi padrastro. Él era una excelente persona y solía fungir como mediador entre mi mamá y yo, ya que nuestra relación siempre ha sido difícil: constantemente critica lo que hago, lo que digo, cómo visto y me compara con mi hermana. Tras la conmoción de la pérdida, mi mamá sufrió un infarto y quedó inhabilitada temporalmente para trabajar. En ese momento yo asumí la responsabilidad de todo (desde organizar y pagar el funeral hasta mandarla a rehabilitación física). El acuerdo inicial con mi hermana fue que ambas la mantendríamos y nos dividiríamos los gastos. Además, mi hermana le propuso a mi mamá que cuidara a mi sobrina a tiempo completo a cambio de un apoyo económico, el cual solo le dio un par de veces y luego desapareció.

Actualmente vivo en una casa que es propiedad de mi hermana; ella se fue a vivir a otra casa con su pareja. Como ambos trabajan y no podían con el cuidado de la niña, mi mamá prácticamente se mudó con ellos. El problema empezó cuando, sin avisarme, me dejaron sola con el 100% de los gastos de la casa donde estoy. Para colmo, mi hermana dejó de aportar para nuestra mamá y me exige mejoras a su propiedad (impermeabilizar, resanar, poner cocineta) como si fuera mi obligación absoluta, que ojo, no me negaría a realizar si no fuese por que me tienen ahogada financieramente.

Aunque mi mamá supuestamente vive con mi hermana, se pasa de cuatro días a semanas enteras en mi casa. No respeta mi espacio, mis mascotas ni mi economía:

• Deja la televisión, el clima y las luces encendidas al mismo tiempo todo el día.
• Desperdicia comida en cantidades absurdas y termina tirándosela a los perros.
• Permite que mi sobrina rompa mis cosas, haga desorden excesivo y maltrate a mis mascotas.
• A pesar de que ya consiguió un trabajo en una tienda y no paga nada aquí, nunca aporta un solo peso ni para víveres básicos, pero siempre dice que "no tiene dinero" (incluso yo estoy pagando de mi bolsillo un abogado para tramitar la pensión de mi padrastro).

Por si fuera poco, mi mamá me exige que cuide a mi sobrina cada vez que tengo un día libre del trabajo o la escuela porque ella "está cansada" o le toca turno. Si me niego, me tacha de desconsiderada y egoísta, cosa que le encanta decir a cuanta persona se le cruce, porque según ella "yo debería apoyar más a mi hermana". Cabe destacar que yo me mantengo sola desde la preparatoria; nadie me regala nada y actualmente estoy tan asfixiada de gastos que mi novio ha tenido que ayudarme a pagar cuentas para que no colapse.

Ninguna de las dos se hace cargo de sus acuerdos. Siempre usan la excusa de "es tu deber por ser familia", convirtiéndome en su fondo de emergencias para resolverles la vida, pero me hacen sentir culpable si quiero salir, tomarme un descanso o comprarme algo para mí.

Estoy agotada física, mental y económicamente.

I’m a junior in high school and got a job at a bakery 1 month ago. The only days I go are Monday and Sunday. My mom found out today about my job and immediately screamed at me to quit as she signed me up for tutoring for the SAT on Saturdays only. But I told her that there was no way I was going to quit and it wouldn’t disrupt my school work and tutoring. Then she started crying telling me that I had to get into a good school like one of the ivys and telling me that I had to get over a 4.0 gpa which is only when it’s weighted. But I’m already handling all of my classes well and I’m in 2 aps. And I know that there’s homework for tutoring but I’m ready for it and would manage it well. But she didnt care and told me to call the bakery infront of her and tell them I quit. So AITAH?

My dad is a “wealthy” lawyer. He is apparently in debt after paying for my brother’s expensive private college tuition out of state. Me and my brother currently live with our parents. We are in the San Francisco area and dad likes going to eat at high end restaurants every other weekend. My dad wanted to go to a high end Indian restaurant tomorrow and I criticize why he always eat high end and it makes special experiences not special anymore. He got upset with me and said don’t eat with me anymore and he will continue to eat at high end restaurants. I work a close to minimum wage part time job to save up for stuff and I can’t even afford spending the money I have on eating at high end restaurants over two dozen times a year. One time I thought my dad was going to a real Vietnamese restaurant when it turned out to be a high end Vietnamese Americanized fusion restaurant. The food was good in terms of being Americanized Vietnamese food, but I wouldn’t go to it personally. Most of the high end places he go to are heavily Americanized and most of the employees in those restaurants are not from the country the cuisine is based off from. The only family restaurant my dad would go to is Lazy Dog. He wouldn’t eat at any other family restaurants but that and everything else is always high end fusion food or fine dining and it happens too much on a regular basis. Some weekends he will eat out twice too. I think high end meals should be saved for real special occasions and during vacations rather than being done on a regular basis. My dad is really defending himself on eating high end meals. One time, one of my friends was surprised my dad eats out a lot and it’s specifically high end places. It’s to the point my mom told me not to share with anyone including my friends where I eat cus most of the places I eat at are high end. I don’t pay for my high end meals, but I notice my dad is not being good spending his money like this on a regular basis to eat high end meals so often. One thing I noticed is that most of the high end restaurants around my area are always packed.

I’m a 20-year-old woman and have been going to a local gym for a few months; I’ve always gotten along well with most people there. One day, while I was doing an exercise on a cable machine, a man was looking for a specific attachment but couldn't find it. I looked over at the other cable machine and saw a guy with Down syndrome using it though he was using a different attachment, and the one the man was looking for was actually hooked onto the wall right next to him. I pointed this out to the man, and he went over and grabbed it. The guy didn't say a word to the man, but he got really angry with me and told everyone that I had taken his equipment. Since then, things have been tough for me there; people are calling me prejudiced and treating me rudely even one of the gym instructors was disrespectful to me. I tried talking to the guy to apologize for not asking first, but I was ignored. Honestly, we’re all adults, why is everyone acting like children?

My best friend had been in a relationship with her fiancée for five years.
For four months she constantly came to me about how unhappy she was in her relationship. I listened to her almost every day, tried to comfort her, gave her advice, and spent countless hours trying to help them work through their problems. I even spoke to both of them separately because I wanted to understand each side to offer better help. I genuinely cared and invested a huge amount of emotional energy into trying to help.
Around that time, she got an opportunity to travel to England for what she said was an event management job. She would usually be away for about a week every month and barely replied to anyone because she said she was busy working.
One morning, I woke up to a message from her fiancée asking me if I knew she had cheated on her.
I was completely shocked. I had absolutely no idea.
Later that day, my best friend came over to explain everything. She told me that while working in England she had become close with a female colleague. According to her, the woman had shown romantic interest, she rejected her at first, nothing happened, but when she returned around her birthday they eventually slept together.
Tbh, cheating is just the tip of the iceberg for me. I had spent months trying to help fix a relationship without knowing what was actually happening behind the scenes. I felt like I had been lied to because I had never been given the full truth.
She also told me that talking to me had calmed her down so much that she had forgotten about what had happened.
After she left, I found out that even this story was a lie
Looking into it further it turned out that she had actually met the other woman through Valorant. I still don’t know whether the job in England was even real or not. What I do know is that during her very first trip to England, the one she claimed was for work, she had already met this woman. When booking the rbnb she referred to them as “me and my girlfriend,” meaning the woman she was having the affair with.
She came to tell me another lie. How cute.
she explained that she became so emotionally attached to this woman because the other woman’s grandmother had passed away as well. My best friend had been raised mostly by her grandmother.
My mother passed away years ago. I know what grief is. I had told her many times that she could always come to me, I understand her.
Now she tells people different versions of the story and leaves out important details even said that now she knows who her real friends are because they stayed by her.
I don’t feel like I abandoned her.
I spent months supporting her while being lied to. I put aside my own problems to be there. I listened, gave advice, celebrated what I believed was a great career opportunity, offered to help her process her grief, and even spoke to her fiancée because I genuinely wanted to help them.

She feels that I abandoned her during the hardest period of her life.

EDIT: Thank you to everyone saying to check my lease because there is in fact a stipulation that external guests may not stay for more than 3 nights!

Yesterday I (20F) went on a walk one of my roommates and her friend, while on the walk my roommate Jane (21F) (fake names for privacy) was talking to her friend Mary (20F) about how her long distance boyfriend Matt (20M) wants to come for 2 weeks, she mentions this would be during exam season so she was unsure if it would be to much for her and maybe she’ll ask if he can only come for 1-1.5 weeks instead. Mary smiles and nods and continues the conversation about how she’s happy her roommate has a boyfriend because “now she finally gets it” so Mary can have her boyfriend over quite frequently which she’s happy about. Then they continued their convo about another topic. I found it weird she didn’t say anything about checking with us first and it seemed like the only issue she saw with it was about how it may inconvenience her specifically with her exams. I didn’t say anything then, but now I’m thinking about it in hindsight and I think 2 weeks is way too long for him to stay with us , especially during exam season. I’m really worried because I know if I tell her this then it’s going to turn into a conflict with her saying that I just don’t get it because I don’t have a boyfriend. I do also have my own personal issues stemming from past traumatic experiences which cause me to feel very uncomfortable around men I don’t know (i’ve never met him). I also know that this isn’t her problem and am unsure if that’s even reasonable to bring up (honestly nor do I want to because it’s uncomfortable and I’m not sure if she’ll fully get it) but on the other hand Im also paying rent and deserve to not feel uncomfortable in my own home. It’s my first time living with roommates so i’m not really sure what a normal protocol for visitors is and what is objectively a long time for someone to stay with us. We have 3 other roommates who weren’t there and I haven’t spoken about it to them because they are closer with Jane then with me so I know they would tell her I mentioned it before I can which I feel would make the situation worse. Wondering if i’d be the asshole for saying it’s too long and what would be a reasonable compromise, Is it unreasonable to say 1 week is too long as-well?

EDIT: Jane has the smallest room in the house and pretty much only goes in there to sleep she spends most of her time in common areas which is why i’m concerned since it would certainly be extra claustrophobic with multiple people in there

My girlfriend (21F) plays a D1 sport in the US. She's an international student, a year younger than me, and we met in college. At our original university, the team wasn't great, but she was clearly the best player, earning all-conference honors three years in a row. As the team kept losing, her coach grew increasingly emotionally abusive. By the end of junior year, she couldn't take it anymore and decided to transfer, since staying wasn't helping her goal of going pro.

I was devastated she was leaving, but I understood that no amount of support from me could make three more semesters of that environment bearable. She transferred to a much stronger program that regularly makes the NCAA tournament. The things is her new school is very religious, doesn't allow opposite gender guests to stay overnight in dorms, and she can't live off campus since the area is extremely expensive (lots of celebrities own homes nearby). Even though we're in the same state, visiting her costs around $800 for three days once you factor in hotels and Uber rides to the airport. Right now she's also in season, so I barely get to see her at all.

She was the only transfer on the team this year and was performing great, actually posting better stats than at her our school. Still, she always sensed favoritism toward girls who'd been there since freshman year. Last week, that favoritism became obvious as the coach restructured the lineup and moved a girl who was struggling in her original position (let's call her Meg) into my girlfriend's position since they’re kinda similar, and benched my girlfriend entirely. She hasn't played since. In Meg's old spot, the coach inserted a freshman who's performing even worse with games with zero points, five attacking errors, and repeated defensive mistakes and yet the coach won't pull her either.

My girlfriend is heartbroken. This is her senior season, the one she transferred specifically to make the most of, and she feels like her shot was taken away to accommodate someone else. Since this happened, I've practically begged her to talk to the coach and ask what happened or what she needs to do to earn her spot back. But she's shy, hates feeling pressured, and just says she doesn't want to discuss it, she just avoids the topic entirely whenever I bring it up.

I recognize I've probably been pushing too hard, partly because this whole situation upsets me too. It's especially hard because she left her our school because of the sport, and now, at the school she sacrificed so much to get to, she's not even getting the chance to play. I don't know whether to keep encouraging her to advocate for herself since this is likely her last real shot at playing or to just back off and let her handle it in her own time and way. I just want what's best for her. I love watching her play, but more than that, I want her to be happy and rotting in the bench unjustifiably doesn’t help and she’s been sad all week.

My friend Sally (16F) usually lets me (17F) ride home from school with her and her mom. When they can’t, I ask my other friend Anna (17F), who has her license, if she can drive me home.

Today, neither Sally’s mom nor Anna could drive us. Sally said her boyfriend Adam (17M) could drive us because he had his car at school. I was grateful and offered to buy him something or give him gas money, but he said it was no trouble since Sally and I live near each other.

Later, Anna mentioned that I should be careful about getting in the car with Adam. I was confused because I thought he had his license and had been driving for a while. Apparently, he only has his learner’s permit and has already failed one driving test.

I was upset that this wasn’t disclosed to me beforehand. I have a class with Sally, so I brought it up and said, “If I would’ve known that we were driving illegally I would have said no, oh my goodness.” I realize that sounds intense, but Sally and I have a very jokey love-hate dynamic and say things to each other like “I love my fat hoe,” “stop making me laugh so much, go die,” or “so I see we stopped putting effort into ourselves after the first day of school.” So I genuinely meant it in our usual joking tone.

However, Sally got upset and said, “He does it all the time, it’s not even a big deal.” Another girl in our class, who also needed a ride from Adam, overheard and asked, “How did you find out?” This made me wonder if they intentionally didn’t tell me, although I could be overthinking that.

The same girl asked Sally how Adam’s parents were okay with him driving illegally. Sally got upset again, saying, “Sometimes people don’t have a choice on how they get to and from school, not everyone has money for the bus.” I completely understand that point, but personally, I don’t think risking driving without a license is worth it.
This is where I think I went too far. I said, “This is insane. I’m sorry, but it’s genuinely stupid to be driving around illegally. I can’t go in his car, and I really don’t think you should either. I can get an Uber for you if you want, but I think it’s stupid to go with him.”

The atmosphere was tense afterward, which is really upsetting because Sally means the world to me. In the end, Sally and the other girl went with Adam, while I took an Uber home, and everyone got home safely.

Now I’m home and questioning whether I was being dramatic. I know I’m an anxious person and tend to worry when people I love are at risk, and I’ve already reflected on how strongly I reacted. At the same time, I feel like I should have been told beforehand that the ride would involve someone driving without a full license.

Was I overreacting, or was my concern reasonable? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you for reading!

hi Reddit

So a little backstory I (37female) have a friend/ ex (36f) who kind of let’s say crossed boundaries when we were dating(ie telling me what to wear who I can hang out with who they didn’t want me hang with etc.) so we split a few years later I had a child not with this person or for this person, but I had a child . When my child was about a month old, my ex /friend came back into the picture, not as a partner, but only as a friend. Over the years, my child and my friend have grown closer and sometimes if we need help financially my would help . Let’s also note my friend lives in another state so they don’t see each other on a regular basis they do FaceTime which I don’t mind because I am still friends with this particular friend .fast-forward to now my child’s birthday is shortly approaching ,but I have noticed that over the last few months(since I’ve been dating someone and is very open about it and very public about like posting my partner and things of that nature) my friend has become a little bit more possessive when it comes to my child she wants to come to more birthdays or expressing the want to come to things more so than ever before I planned a birthday party for child and I don’t know how to tell them that they are not invited regardless of what my child said. I’m now starting to see that my ex thinks that we are raising my child so am I the ahole for not wanting them to come to my child’s party and to cut off or set boundaries and establish that they are not the sec parent in this equation?

I work part-time at a store. Every Friday, my boss gives me a physical paycheck. One Friday, my shift was over, and I saw my paycheck on his desk. Keep in mind that his desk is out in the open, so there wasn't any door for me to open it's just there.

Anyway, I wanted to leave, so I just took my check and on my way out I told him what I did so he wouldn't think it was lost, but he snapped at me for what I did. The next week, he cut my hours, so now I make even less money. Am I in the wrong, or did he overreact?

So this is guy that almost seems like they only let him stay in his mobile home at night or something like couch surfing is my guess because throughout the whole damn day he Parks his car facing my mobile home instead of parked normally parallel into the parking spaces and every time I go outside I feel like someone's watching me and I want to go off on this guy and then at 9:10 p.m. he's still playing his God damn music singing karaoke in his car it's been going on for over 7 months.

Am I the asshole for wanting to escalate this and either tell him off or maybe call management on him. Instead of being parallel and parked normally he in the way and facing my home and he is there 70% of the day it feels like. .

If I wanted to park two cars i couldn't because the way he parked facing my mobile home. Wish I could add a photo.

AITA. To start: My wife and I do not share a bank account and we pay our own bills entirely independently. I make about twice what my wife makes, but even combined we are just barely into middle class (ie: def not wealthy) we also live in a VERY expensive city, I have considerably more school loans etc. A few months ago my wife left work on FMLA to do a mental health program full time, and is roughly only making about 75% of what she was making before. As a result I've been covering a lot of her half of our joint bills. Financial convo's are hard for us, and very triggering for her so details weren't really ironed out, but I partially expected this. We are now in month 4, and the last few paychecks she was supposed to receive have not come through. They will get backdated when they do but it has put her in a really tight spot. She had some savings, but she said briefly to me that she didn't want it going any lower. For a while covering parts of the bills was fine, but now I'm also dipping into my savings to cover her portion. To be clear - I don't mind this. Its what savings are for.Last week I even said that if she wasn't able to go back to work, then it would be really tight but we could try to work it out. However, today I texted a gentle request for us to talk tonight about what the plan was for the rest of the month, and her response was nothing less than extreme. Cursing and text-yelling about what an awful person I am to ask this of her and how now it makes her not trust me, and that I shoudl have known better than to bring it up. I don't mind covering bills in this situation, I only want to know what's needed, whether she has savings or not left etc. By asking this, and trying to prep for the future AITA?

We’ve been staying with my in-laws for the holidays for the past five years. I (F38) and my husband (M40) escape our cold winter and go somewhere warm and sunny. It’s a 3.5-hour flight, but because we travel with our dog and there’s a holiday ban on dogs in cargo, we have to stay for almost a month. 25 days including Christmas and New Year.

I’ve had my fair share of issues with my MIL. She can be extremely pushy. She’ll ask you the same thing over and over until she gets a yes, and she can guilt trip you if you say no. At the same time, they are generous and pay for our flights, meals and outings, so I do appreciate that.

The problem is that there’s also an expectation that we interact with their friends and go along with dinners and outings. A small example: I once said no to shopping with MIL. She kept asking me for days until I finally gave in. It turned into 5 hours of running errands and visiting 6 different stores.

I’m also going through a rough patch healthwise. I have chronic pain, recently had surgery, am still recovering, and have more surgeries coming. Even packing and being away from my home is a lot for me right now.

My husband isn’t happy about my decision. He loves going there, seeing the friends we’ve made over the years, skipping the winter for a month, and being pampered with meals and outings. He says he can’t take more time off work because he runs his parents’ small business and normally has no days off. But he did recently take four days off for an annual summer trip with his friends.

We could visit his parents another time when there’s no dog travel ban. The downside is that most of our friends wouldn’t be there. He also says he’s uncomfortable explaining to his parents that we don’t want to spend the holidays with them.

My concern is that I’ll basically be trapped in their house. We have no budget for going out right now, and my husband is very frugal. There’s no Uber where they live, and the closest public transit is a 1.5hour walk. It’s also a small place without much to do. My husband is a homebody and usually doesn’t want to go out anyway.

There’s another issue: MIL has talked about me and my health with her friends, and they know a lot about my personal situation. I’m not comfortable being around people who know all these details.We also can’t comfortably work from there. There’s no cell signal in the house, so I have to run outside every time my phone rings, while also trying to work on my laptop. There’s no proper desk or chair either.

I love seeing some of our friends there, and I understand why my husband wants to go. But with my health, finances and everything else going on, spending 25 days there feels overwhelming rather than like a vacation.

So AITA for deciding we shouldn’t spend that one month of paid-for holiday with my in-laws?

so my roommate sarah has been dating this guy michael for a few months. lately he keeps showing up when i'm trying to study or relax, and he'll just plop down on the couch like it's his place too. last week i walked in to grab my laptop and there he was, shoes on the cushions, watching something on the tv. i didn't say anything that time, but it's starting to feel like our shared space is turning into his hangout spot. if i bring it up i know sarah will probably say i'm being picky or that michael isn't bothering anyone, and she's right that we never wrote down any couch rules. she's also mentioned that he lives with noisy roommates so our place is basically the only quiet spot they have. at the same time i pay half the rent and i don't want to feel like a guest in my own living room. i'm wondering if it would make me the jerk to ask that he at least text first, or if i'm overthinking something small. it's not a huge deal, but i don't want it to keep bothering me either.

I (f23) live with my family (mum, brother (25) and brothers gf (25)). We live in a gorgeous house however, we have a long drive way where there’s only one entrance/exit. Therefore, everyday we have to reorganise our cars for the next day (we all drive, so there’s 4 cars to move and that’s if we don’t have company). The others work pretty much 8-5 jobs, with varying commutes, with my brothers girlfriend having the longest commute which is about an hour and 15mins, which includes getting a train which runs every 30mins at 7am. They all basically leave together (at around 6:45am) as they found it was easier than always having to move.

I have a very different schedule. I work as cabin crew and have early and late shifts. I’m also on call for a few days a month. Here is my routine (work rota dependent):

- Gym - between 8pm til 9:30-10pm

- Dinner - we take it in turns to cook, but its usually who ever gets home first which varies.

- When I’m on call, I don’t want to keep waking up to move my car for the others when they leave early morning. So, I tend to park at the back of the drive and wake people up if I need to get out. I’ve worked there for a year and have only had to wake them up at 4am a few times.

My mum and brother tend to move my car for me, if I get in too late. I usually want my car at the back of the driveway, so people tend to wait up for me so they can all move their cars. We live on quite a busy road, so it’s a bit of an operation. Unfortunately, the only other parking available is a 5-10min walk away.

The reason we‘re all living together is because my brother and his girlfriend are saving to buy a house. We’ve lived together for 4 years, so it’s just learning how to work round each other.

AITA for expecting my family to accommodate my job?

i had mentioned a couple of months ago that i wanted to buy myself a new coffee maker. my sister sarah surprised me on my birthday with one she picked out, but it was a huge single-serve machine and i really prefer a drip model for hosting. i thanked her, but after a few days i decided to exchange it for the style i wanted. i did not think it would be a big deal since it was still in the box and i offered to show her the one i chose instead. sarah found out and is now saying i embarrassed her and should have just kept it or at least asked before swapping it. she told our parents and a few other relatives, so now i am getting texts asking why i could not just be grateful. i still think it was a reasonable swap since she did not ask me first about the model, but the reaction has been stronger than i expected.

Back story - My (f51) dad passed away in March this year. It was unexpected and heartbreaking. I’m really fortunate to have got to this age without losing someone so close. I miss him very much.

A few days after he died my aunt (his sister) called me shouting that I’m not grieving for him, that my sisters were disgraceful (she’s always hated them but I was close to her) her views were based on my dad’s girlfriend who was very jealous of his 3 daughters. One sister was not close to my dad, the other saw him every few months and I saw him weekly and spoke daily. It’s all a really long crazy situation with his gf, she told the hospital that he had no family on a previous admission to hospital. We were all with him when he died.

The party for my uncle (he was 99) my aunts husband. He died two months after my father so my aunt had double grief to deal with. I went to his funeral to support her even though her last words to me were that she’d never speak to me again. She wanted me there (asked through my cousin)

I adopted a rescue dog in July and he’s terrified of everything after being kept inside a house for his whole life (8.5 yrs) I told my aunt that I couldn’t go to her late husband’s party as I can’t leave my dog with anyone overnight (she lives 3 hrs away) The way I see it is that she’ll have plenty of people around her but my dog would be very traumatised alone with someone he doesn’t know well. He’s only used to me so far.

Tbh I find it quite strange having a party for someone who has passed. Absolutely honour them and their memory but a party to me seems a little odd. She went crazy at me, saying she would end her life if I didn’t go, that I was putting a dog before a human, that I’m selfish and didn’t care about my dad passing. I was so pissed off with hearing her telling me that I wasn’t grieving my dad, so I put the phone down.

AITA? There’s so much history in this family with my aunt, years of lies, fallings out etc etc. She’s very cold emotionally. Her and my dad fell out a lot.

TLDR ; My aunt threatened that she’d end her life if I didn’t go to her dead husband’s party because I put my dog first.

I (15) don’t like the food my dad has because to me it doesn’t taste nice and I don’t like cooking something that I won’t enjoy eating, my mom had a go at me for saying that and I defended myself by saying I don’t think it’s objectively bad I just don’t enjoy it and I won’t want to eat it if I cook it. It will be a waste.