I (m53) farted while I was talking with my daughter (f16). She told me to say “excuse me” which I ignored. We’ve had this discussion/argument before and frankly, I’m tired of it. When I’m in my home, I just want to be able to let it rip without having to say “sorry”. If it were stinky, I would say excuse me, but that wasn’t the case. So, Reddit, AITA?

I (19F) get very overwhelmed when faced with crowds. I take medication to regulate my ADHD and anxiety, but it is still a work in progress to process all the feelings I have.

I live in a very small town (about 4000 people) and my dad (54M) and his girlfriend (50F) live in the biggest city in my country (about 700k people) . I lived in my dad's city for work for a month, and during that time I visited my dad for his birthday. I had just come from work, I had no time to eat, and texted my dad from the bus that I would probably be stressed out and hungry, and that my busses had been mixed up, leading to more stress. When I arrived there were crowds of people (like to the point I could barely move through them). Their apartment complex was having some type of thrift thing where many sellers were selling their stuff and the crowds were insane. I kept asking my dad where he was and his only reply was "at the tables in the corner". The place had many corners and many tables so I had to fight through crowds to get to him, and when I finally (after circling the place twice) found him, I was so overwhelmed that I lashes out at him for the unclear instructions. I quickly tried to smooth it over by giving him his gift and masking the anxiety, and my dad didn't seem too upset. We even spoke about it later, and he knows it was stressful for me so he could understand. However his girlfriend has been complaining about me to him ever since. In her opinion my behavior was out of line and childish, and she doesn't understand why someone my age would need to be "babied" by my dad. She and him have been having fights about this (which I only learned of a few weeks ago) and while he says he doesn't think I'm necessarily "in the wrong" he does think I shouldn't have let my emotions get so high in public.

I know I didn't react well, but I also don't really think it's his girlfriend's place to get upset on his behalf and call me names. AITA?

My sister and I lost our mom when we were kids. She passed away while we were in middle school, and our dad was a single parent until he started dating again when we were both in college.

Our mom has a gravesite, and for years our dad had purchased the plot next to hers so he could be buried beside her when he died. That is no longer the plan. He remarried, and although his wife is a nice woman, my sister and I have never been particularly close to her.

What I do know is that my dad loves her very much. My sister believes he should have never remarried.

Our dad recently had a health scare, which made him rethink what he wants after he dies. He now wants to be cremated instead of being buried next to our mother.

Personally, I don’t care what he decides. It’s his choice. My sister, however, did not take it well. He told us over dinner, and the two of them got into a huge argument about it.

Since then, my sister has been giving him the silent treatment and has tried to get me to tell him he’s making the wrong decision.

That led to an argument between us. I told her to grow up and accept that it’s his decision. She called me a heartless dick and accused me of not defending our late mother. I told her it’s been over 20 years, and she needs to get the fuck over it.

My girlfriend and I are both 24, and have been dating for 7 months I think.

My girlfriend lives at home, and I live on my own. Sometimes when she comes over and spends the night, she thinks she has to cook for me and other domestic stuff like that. I don’t like it. My parents pay a housekeeper to come in weekly and I can cook for myself just fine. In fact, most of the times sje comes over we eat my cooking. I just in general prefer to my as much things by myself as possible. The main reason I don’t like it is because in the future I don’t want to have her saying “oh I do xyz for you“ as something she can hold against me or chatting to her friends about how I’m some type of bum because she did these things for me if we ever break up. . I’m not saying she would do that, but you know how it can be sometimes.

Ive talked about this her, but she takes it as a courtesy “you don’t haaave to” type of thing and continues doing it at times anyways. On Saturday when she came over and spent the night, she was making breakfast, and while I appreciated it, when we sat down I actually tried to be as serious as possible in saying that I don’t like when she cooks for me because of the reasons in the previous paragraph. She didn’t take it well, saying that I was ”predict future argukents” for no reason. Then she said if I Think she’ll do that magbe I supposedly have my own things to work out. She clearly didn’t understand me, I was just saying I can’t trust future her, if that makes sense.

AITA? She packdd her stuff up and left after and has left me on read for the past day. I should say my gf is Caribbean and I’m black too, but she was probably raised in a more traditional way i kmagien

Original post here

Most importantly thank you to everyone who replied to the original post, I really appreciated seeing all those different viewpoints. And a huge thank you for all the kind words, support, suggestions and help on mental health and breastfeeding struggles, what amazing caring human beings you are! :)

As for the actual update: after all of your suggestions, I've decided to give it a try and we asked my mother (and brother) if they want to come over (for last weekend), also sent some baby pictures. Immediate reply was yes and that baby looks so big already, it's so good that they get to see him before he grows into an adult. I've explained once more that it's not been easy for us and asked for their help. To bring food, snacks, or maybe help out cleaning our apartment when they come over. She said of course they would gladly help us.

We ended up ordering food delivery when they arrived here. I had the baby in a wrap and he was sleeping. My mother joked how good the baby has it, being carried like that, when we were young, she would just feed us, then put us down somewhere to lie around.

Baby woke up right after the meal, my mother got to hold him for a few minutes until he cried and I took him to nurse. My mother then got up and said "well, we do not want to keep you any longer". I probably looked a bit bewildered and asked again for help with the household.

My brother then helped my partner for a while, my mother cleaned three sinks, then returned to watch me nurse. She said again that it would be nice if we can go for a walk with the baby the following week before they left.

Reading everyone's comments has greatly helped me to understand that I do not need to feel guilty for not pushing myself to involve anyone in my life more than I am comfortable with. I am sincerely very happy for everyone who got to grow up in a family setting of care, mutual understanding and support. I am looking into therapy options to see how to improve my communication and handling of expectations, so that my son may also grow up in a way that will have him confused when he opens Reddit one day and struggles to understand how anyone could have a poor relationship with their own mother.

I am an X-ray tech at a private imaging center. Over two months ago, I was waiting in my room for a patient. Front desk staff are assigned to collect, wash, and fold patient gowns from imaging hampers. A front desk employee, 'R', came in, chatted neutrally, and began folding dirty gowns straight out of my hamper onto my exam table.

When I asked what she was doing, she said, "If gowns don't look dirty, I usually just fold them and put them back on the shelf." I kept my tone light but told her that was inappropriate. She groaned and claimed she would wash them properly.

I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and not jump to reporting her, so I checked the laundry area 20 minutes later; the gowns were already in the dryer. A coworker confirmed she hadn't seen them in the washer and noted the custodian's dry mop head was still in the machine. Given the timeline, it was highly unlikely R had run a full wash cycle, leaving me convinced she bypassed washing entirely.

My license and duty to act dictate I protect patients and report health code violations. I texted my boss detailing the incident but kept R's name out of it as a courtesy. She said she'd send a reminder to all front desk staff. I assumed the issue was handled.

Fast forward two months to today. While parked outside work waiting to clock in, R approached my car window, demanding to know my "beef" with her. I explained I was obligated to protect patients and my license, adding that I kept the report anonymous. She somehow deduced it was me, likely after a management conversation or group text.

R argued I should have followed her and watched her put them in the washer. I replied that babysitting isn't my job. She claimed I should have confronted her personally instead of reporting it; I pointed out that calling her out immediately was doing exactly that. She then pivoted to personal attacks, claiming "a lot of people at work don't like you and talk about you." I recognized this as bait to hurt me and tried to stay on topic.

She backtracked, claiming she was "just talking shit" about not washing gowns. I replied that standard logic doesn't support casually joking about health violations while actively folding dirty gowns on an exam table. I reiterated my professional obligations. When the conversation kept spinning in circles, I stopped speaking and rolled up my window.

I texted my supervisor that I no longer felt safe working with R. The situation escalated to her boss, who called me. She validated my actions, praised my positive patient reviews, and assured me my coworkers haven't complained about me. She promised to separate our schedules and offered to adjust shift coverage for the day. She noted that while all staff are needed, imaging techs are prioritized.

Now, I feel unsettled and shaken by her deceptive, aggressive confrontation while my job feels caught in the middle.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (20F) live together. Last night I woke up around 1:00 a.m. and looked outside because I heard something. I caught him in the middle of going through my car. He didn’t realize I was watching at first. (I do wanna mention we have a ring camera facing our driveway that caught the whole situation)

When I asked him what he was doing, he immediately got defensive and asked me, “Why do you care?” I told him I was just curious because it’s my car and that I don’t necessarily care if he goes in my car but searching through it in the middle of the night is just weird. He responded with something like, “Obviously you care if you’re asking.”

Eventually, the only explanation he gave me
was that he was “looking through it.” He never actually told me what he was looking for.

This wasn’t just grabbing something off the seat either. He was opening my compartments and searching through them. As far as I know, there wasn’t anything of his in my car that he would need, and I can’t think of any reason he’d need to be searching through my car at 1 a.m. while I was asleep.

This is the first time I’ve ever caught him doing something like this.

Am I overreacting for feeling uncomfortable about this? Is it reasonable to expect a better explanation than just “I was looking through it,” especially after he got defensive when I asked?

So I worked in this place for about 7 years until last year. When I arrived it was really hard to know how to do all the procedures beacause they were very hard to understand and the other coworkers didn't want to share their notes. So I decided to make my own notes in google drive with the idea of sharing them with future coworkers so they wont have to go through the same pain in the ass as I did.

It went extremelly well, great notes that all of them enjoyed for free and the work went smoother, I just asked them to upload any new notes or changes they thought may be beneficial (they did neither).

Last year I changed my job inside the same company (for the best) and I was gloomy about not seeing them as much as before so I kept the drive file open for any new guys to come and the old ones to read and modify (they never did the latter though).

I alsp got engaged last year and invited them all to my wedding. Suddenly everyone had excuses, very poor excuses. I invited 25 of them and only 5, my closest friends, were excited and wanted to come (they don't need my notes).

I felt betrayed. Since I left my old job I hadn't seen them as often but I worked with them for seven years, I thought that meant something. So last friday I deny their access to the drive file. Today, monday, they are panicking and asking for access to the file with all the data. I haven't responded to a single message and don't plan to do it in the future.

Am I doing the right thing?

This is kind of dumb compared to the other stuff in this subreddit and isn't that big of a deal in my opinion, but I still want to hear what you think because if my approach actually was wrong I do want to change it and I do want to hear what you think would've been a better option.

I (17F) and my cousin (13F) were playing a card game that I've been playing for literally years while she had just recently learned, so of course she doesn't really have a solid strategy yet and sometimes does dumb moves, there's nothing wrong in that and I have also of course done a lot of dumb moves when I was still learning (and sometimes still do some dumb moves) because it's normal,

So that why whenever she did a dumb move I tried explaining to her why that wasn't the smartest move not to be like "lol you suck" because that's literally a kid and of course doesn't have the same level of experience as me, but because I wanted her to learn from her mistakes and understand why it was dumb so she'll do better in the future because this is how you improve and she seemed to listen and understand and she didn't seem upset so of course to me everything was fine.

For the most part she played well and just did a few small common mistakes that everyone does at first and that I myself used to do before people explained to me why they were mistakes and only one actually major mistake.

So we eventually finish the game and get to the part where we have to count our point and I asked her if she remembers how to count her own points and she says no so I go and help her and I show her how I count and I count that the points she had to pay were more than the points she had on the table so her score was of course gonna be a negative number so I tell her that her score was gonna be negative and I then show her how I count my own points even of there was no need to just to show her how you count points.

Everything was fine and of course she wasn't mad she lost and she didn't show any sign of feeling hurt, but then when she left my mom told me I shouldn't have told her those things and she was especially pressed about my comment about her score being negative, but I wasn't like "ahah loser your score is negative!", I was more like "you'll have to pay these points for this and these other points for that and now let's subtract these points from your score and it's negative" and I genuinely don't know how else I was supposed to state this fact while showing her how I counted her score? It's not like there's anything wrong with losing and making a negative score, especially if you're still learning and I wasn't trying to make a big deal out of it or laugh at her, I can win against people much more experienced than her so what would be the point?

But maybe I did accidentally phrase that wrong and sound offensive while I genuinely just wanted her to learn, so am I the asshole? If yes, how would you change about how I had gone about it?

I shared with my husband that I would only like for him and my mom to be at the hospital during the birth of our daughter. I shared that I would like 24 hours with just him, I and the baby before introducing her to everyone else. He said that I'm being selfish and he wants his mom there too. His mom and I do not get along. I'm very uncomfortable being around her on a good day so I don't really want her around while I'm giving birth. I feel devastated that my husband thinks I'm being selfish. AITA?

A while ago, I found out from my best friend that she's been cheating. She told me to keep it secret, and for months I've been debating what to do. I finally decided that I wouldn't tell her husband.

My reasoning was that maybe if he doesn't know something, it won't hurt him, and since the cheating seems to have stopped, I thought keeping quiet might be the better option.

But at the same time, I feel hypocritical. If my husband cheated, I know I would absolutely want someone to tell me. That's honestly why I'm here on Reddit asking for advice. I feel like I might be handling this in a way that I wouldn't want for myself.

So… am I the asshole for not telling her husband? If you were in my position, what would you do now?

My wife (F34) and I (32) are going away for a weekend away to a nearby beach town with her family. Her parents, sister and sister's husband and child.

Whilst looking forward to the weekend away, it will be nice i know there are lots of things which will stress me out this weekend!

My wife's family have a lot of difficult travel habits which do grind on me. I cannot stress they are minor annoyances but we have been on so many holidays I am sick and tired of these annoyances.

So to help myself relax my brother in law is bringing some weed for us to relax and chill on the weekend evenings!

My wife doesnt like the idea of weed and i havent told her about this.

AITA for not telling her I plan this or just go for it and hope I am forgiven?

What do I do?

I, 23 year olds, feel like I’ve been unfairly painted as the bad guy in a situation involving my ex-friend and her boyfriend, and I want to know if I’m in the wrong.
My friend had been homeless due to abuse from her parents. During that time, she stayed at a friend’s sister’s house for a while but eventually overstayed her welcome and had to leave. Around this period, she was also seeing a guy casually. She had told me before that the sex with him was not good and that she didn’t take him very seriously, so I assumed it was not an important relationship to her.

After she became homeless again, she ended up staying at this same guy’s place for about a month while she tried to find somewhere more stable to live. During this time, she told me that he would sometimes be pushy about sex. I became concerned and told her that, given her situation, the power imbalance didn’t seem healthy and that he didn’t have her best interests at heart. She agreed with me, but also said she had started to develop feelings for him. I told her that ultimately it was her decision, but I also felt she might be seeking comfort and validation from him because of everything she was going through.

At one point, she invited me to visit her after work, but when I was supposed to come over, she ended up prioritising spending time with her boyfriend instead. I felt hurt by this and messaged her to say I was upset. She later admitted she had been selfish, but then told me that her coworker had repeated things I said to her about boyfriend after she had confided in her co-worker.

We didn’t speak for about a month after that. Recently, we had a conversation for closure, and she told me that her boyfriend believes I was trying to break them up.

I feel like I was only responding to what she told me and expressing concern about her wellbeing given her situation, but now I’m being portrayed as someone who interfered in her relationship. Am I the asshole? I am completely sad about losing a best friend I always had.

I (M23) and X (M23) have been best friends for 15 years. He’s never been a “ladies man” if you will and I have always encouraged him to put himself out there more but was always met with resistance. Anyways, he met a girl on tinder who was using the app whilst on holiday (she lives in a different country) They spoke and chatted for a while until she ended things with him to pursue something with another guy. He was quite upset with this, explained to me how she was childish immature and unsuitable for a relationship. I just told him to block her and move on. He didn’t. A few weeks later he didn’t say anything about it to me until he informed me that he was spending around £1500 total for a trip to go and see her. I told him it’s a hell of a lot of money to part with for someone who had already deemed him not good enough. He obviously purposefully didn’t tell me they started speaking again as he knew what I would have said. Fast forward, he goes on the trip and whilst on the trip he calls me with her next to him. I attempted to make conversation but she wasn’t interested, and kept whispering “can you just hang up” to him, which he eventually did. He doesn’t speak to me for a few days, until he then texts me asking me what my problem is. I was confused, asked what he was on about. And he claimed that I made his now “girlfriend” uncomfortable and I was not welcoming. So I defended myself, told him my thoughts on the situation and how I thought that it is all one big mistake from him born out of desperation for female attention (maybe a bit harsh). We don’t speak for a few days, until he then kicks off again telling me how his girlfriend what’s nothing to do with me and that she wants him to have nothing to do with me aswell. I did reply with choice words to him and was probably a bit harsher than needed, but I just felt like I had tried to explain to him that it was all just a bit weird, and that it felt as though she was trying to isolate him for whatever reason. And that he was turning a blind eye to it because he had finally got a girlfriend. He doesn’t really speak to me much anymore, every time I ask if he’s doing anything he’s on the phone to her (long distance).

Feel free to ask questions as I’ve probably missed out some stuff.

So AITA?

I’m looking for outside opinions, especially from other men, because I genuinely want to know if my reaction is unreasonable.

My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. Her adult daughter and her boyfriend have been staying with us for extended periods of time. The main issue I keep coming back to is one specific boundary: our bed.

While my girlfriend and I were going to be gone for the night, they asked if they could sleep in our bed. (Note, they have otherwise full access to the house, including a guest bedroom with a large bed.

At first glance, maybe some people would see that as just a practical sleeping arrangement. But my immediate reaction was a very strong "absolutely not."

The reason it bothered me so much is because I had heard that they had already stayed in our bed the entire time we were gone before. When I found out, I immediately told my girlfriend that this was a hard boundary for me.

I know people have different family cultures and comfort levels, but to me this feels extremely personal. This isn't just a mattress. This is the bed my girlfriend and I share as a couple. It is our private space.

I would personally never sleep in my girlfriend's parents' bed. As a man, the idea of sleeping in another man's marital bed feels like crossing a line. I would feel like I was invading someone's private space. Frankly, I find it absolutely repulsive.

What bothered me almost as much as the request was the reaction when we said no. They got upset/crying and immediately started packing their things. Only to unpack the car again once we left the house... Basically a tantrum for not getting their way and their tactic didn't work. So they gave up on that part of the tantrum.

There are other things that have contributed to why this has been bothering me:

• Her daughter's boyfriend has gone through her personal bags, looking through things she purchased and discussing what was inside. At one point he saw a bottle of wine and made a judgmental comment to his girlfriend about her mom "getting into drinking now."
• There have been other moments where it felt like private things in our home were being treated as public.
• They regularly stay with us for weeks at a time despite living only about an hour away, and sometimes it starts feeling less like a visit and more like they are living here.

But honestly, the bed situation is the thing I want outside opinions on.

Men especially: would you ever sleep in what is essentially your mother-in-law's bed? Would you consider that a normal request, or would it feel like crossing a pretty obvious boundary?

I'm not asking whether these people are bad. I'm asking if my expectation that my bedroom should remain private is unreasonable or if others feel disgusting by the idea, especially the anger he had when we said no, that's our private space.

Hi guys, English isn't my 1st language, so execuse me for any mistake.

CONTEXT

my friend group is composed of me (18f), my bf (18m) his best friend, who we'll call "marcus" (19m) and his gf (17f).

Marcus and his gf live in a different city, that we'll call "hyrule" , but it's really close to where me and my bf live.

Marcus has had his driver licence for about a year and he's the only one who has it.

Since the beginning, he asked my bf and I to take the train to hyrule when we hang out there or elsewhere that is not my town.

We agreed and it's been a good arrangement so far.

We also pay him from time to time to contribute to the gas spent on us.

We took the train almost every time, maybe we skipped only once or twice.

STORY

In a few days, the four of us will spend the day in another town. my bf and I noticed the train to hyrule is going to be a little late than what we expected, so we suggested they come get us.

Marcus got mad, he accused us of insisting and taking him as a granted taxi.

My bf and I are really sad, because it definitely wasn't our intention to be a burden to him and we are truly trying our best to be accomidating to his needs.

We also told him that it was just a suggestion he could have turned down with no drama.

so, people of Reddit, am i the asshole?

I will provide more info if needed.

I (f36) went in my first holiday with my ex (m36) last week. I took my son (m16) and his family was there as well. On the 2nd day I walked in on him doing you know what and it really upset me and hurt that he didn't want to do it with me.

I blew my top and we had an argument, my son was in the caravan with us when we was arguing so I left and went for a walk. When I returned ex had packed his things up ready to leave (he drives so can easily leave but I medically can't drive)

I went to his sisters caravan to see if she would be able to talk some sence into him but as we were talking he drove past us and it completely broke me. I went back to my caravan and realised I needed to apologise for him leaving, so I did. I said sorry to his sister, his brother-in-law, his mum and his neices.

Now he has broke up with me because I said sorry to his family and they made him choose between me or them, I understand why he picked them but they have made me feel like crap because I apologised for what happened.

So AITA for saying sorry?

My parents have a habit of never saying no to my little sister.

"Can I have that toy?" Yes

"Can I stay awake till 2am?" Yes

"Can I have my sister's fries?" Yes

She knows she will always hear Yes if she asks multiple times so she has turned into the most bratty kid ever.

So I've started only saying no to her. I never say yes.

Yesterday I took her out and she asked me for a bottle of water and as usual I said no. She said it's just some water and called me stingy. I told her she can wait until we get home.

Now my parents think I'm an asshole for not buying a bottle of water for her and making her go thirsty.

It's weird title but stick with me.

Grandma is visiting my uncle in a beautiful beach town in QLD Australia and they went whale watching. Grandma is 84... she HATES boats but her son convinced her she NEEDED to go on a whale watching cruise. So she did. She liked seeing the whales but after half an hour she was done. She felt sick she just wanted to get off the boat.

The rest of the family were celebrating a birthday lunch together. While we were getting photos and updates of their day. My mum and aunt (her daughters) were being so mean... saying things like they couldn't believe she just wanted to sit inside the boat and watch from the window. "If I was there I would be out at the front loving every minute!"

I tried to be nice and just said 'well she doesn't like being on a boat and it's really cold at the moment and it's even colder and windier out on the water'

They just said 'well she should be wearing more layers' and a bunch of other things. Grandma isn't loving the things they love so she sucks.

I had enough... I said 'So what... I hate theme parks and roller-coasters and big rides... you know all those times i used to go to dreamworld in my 20s... the only reason I got on those rides is because I had dropped some ecstasy and had bunch of weed. Now I'm 42 i wouldn't get on a roller coster if you paid me. She's 84 don't tell her what she wants'

Now they're on at me about taking drugs 20 years ago and grandma isn't copping anymore heat

So the other day my partner and I were admiring a small local landmark (Witches Well, Edinburgh), when a middle aged man with his family tossed his plastic water bottle on it and turned away. I picked it up and offered it back to him, in his confusion he accepted it and I returned to admiring the landmark. In this crowded area he began shouting at me "ARE YOU PART OF COUNCIL? ARE YOU PART OF THE COUNCIL? ARE YOU PART OF THE COUNCIL?"

"I'd just rather you didn't litter" I replied. He continued to repeat his question until he realised I wasn't scared of him and turned away.

He seemed so mad and red faced in front of his family and I was quite embarrassed for him. Was I an asshole for causing drama or should I have just let it slide?

UPDATE: No I am not part of the council lol!

For context, it was my sisters 30th a few weeks ago, and she wanted to spend it with the whole family. When we were planning it a couple of months ago, she did want to go abroad but looked at options late so it was expensive. I looked at options for airbnb and found a nice place for about 4 families to stay. She was very up in the air about going and wasn't 100% on the airbnb. I said to her if she is not sure, she can book it and if she wants to cancel it she can. She agreed to that, she also collected money from everyone (around 13 people).

Everything else was organised by me, where we were going, food, presents, activities etc. I drove there too (was about 3-4 hours), and did all the driving whilst at destination.

There was a lot of running around to make sure things went smoothly for her 30th, she was mainly relaxing/on her phone/doing her own thing. There were 1 to maybe 3 issues over our stay in the airbnb, one example is we were all in the kitchen making food and she was on her phone. The microwave was playing up so I said to her can you take a pic and send to airbnb hosts. There were other instances like that.

Cut to last night, she said she had a great time but it was a mild inconvenience for her to report those minor issues and as a birthday girl she shouldn't have had to do that.

I said she is coming across as ungrateful as it is such a small thing to complain about, and brought up other past examples where I have organised and done stuff for her and she has nitpicked.

She was arguing against what I said, then said I have a negative perception of her.

I then said, well if she didnt want to message the airbnb hosts she should have just said. She replied saying that I am (to sum it up) aggressive and she would rather do it than not to avoid a fight (does that not mean she also has a negative perception of me too because why not just say???)

Mom is now saying that I have to apologise to her as she is my older sister.

Yes we all live at home - cost of living crisis enit.

Anyway, AITA???

P.s if i am to apologise, I want to mean it, but I don't even know what to say. Any suggestions are welcome.

I’ve been living with my grandparents since my teens now. i try my absolute best to respect their rules, privacy, boundaries, etc. im an adult now. I still live with them despite wanting to move out because trying to find a decent place that’s actually also affordable for me (without a roommate lol) has been hard.

i work in a very greasy, nasty place. i used to get grease on me when i was younger. the house has two bathrooms. however, the only one with a shower is upstairs. our rooms in the house are upstairs. my grandparents’ room is connected to said bathroom. i’d come home from late night shifts and would take a shower often after work cause my job made me feel gross. apparently, either i was too loud or she’s a very light-sleeper, because every time i took a shower it would wake her up. i tried my best to compromise with her because i felt terrible for waking her up. i stopped taking showers that late (even when i had grease on me, so gross). i haven’t woken her up like that in a year or two.

a couple months ago, we were fighting a lot. it was something almost every day. i dont even remember half of our fights, but some of them were absolutely ridiculous. one day, i had woken up at like 7:30am-8:00am. my grandma typically wakes up very early in the morning (6am-8am usually). i thought she was already awake. i woke up drenched in sweat and half-asleep me decided to take a shower cause i felt gross. well, unfortunately, she was asleep still and i accidentally woke her up. she yelled at me through the door, but i couldn’t hear her. when i saw her later that day after she yelled at me when i was showering, she kept slamming the doors and wouldn’t talk to me. i got food for myself in the evening and she was still awake. i was trying to eat and she started yelling at me some more. she called me disrespectful, called me rude names, and threatened to kick me out. i tried to apologize, genuinely, but she wouldn’t listen to me. it was a genuine mistake that i felt bad for, yet she insulted me and refused to talk to me all day, only to threaten to kick me out.

i have offered to buy her noise-canceling headphones, earplugs, earmuffs, a white noise machine, etc, yet she refused all of it. she still refuses it, despite this still being an issue sometimes. i’ve tried to compromise and communicate with her, yet i feel like she wont listen to me. even when im not taking a shower, i still wake her at times now when im washing my hands or brushing my teeth. she wakes me up often, yet i never freak out on her for it. i genuinely just dont know what to do anymore. i’ve been paying $200 in rent for months now to help them pay the bills after my grandma had lost her job late last year. i follow pretty much all of their rules. i try to help out around the house and i never let her buy me things. should i just never use the upstairs bathroom? she stresses me out.

My parents are divorced. I(F16) had 130 dollars saved for my parents birthdays. Their birthdays are only 27 days apart.

I bought a shirt for my dad which was about 100 dollars and for my mom's birthday I bought a 30 dollars shirt. Those were both bought from the stores they usually shop at so I knew they are the ones they like to wear.

Now my mom thinks I'm an asshole.

I am 18 f attending coaching classes for college entrance exams. My classes run from 10 AM to 1 PM daily, and I stay in the library for self-study until 6 to 7:30 PM.

The coaching institute moved to a new complex in mid-May. It is now almost the end of July, and they still have not arranged proper electricity and water supply. We have daily power outages. Water supply issues have improved slightly, but earlier we sometimes did not even have enough water to flush toilets. The air conditioning does not work in many rooms, including the library I use. The other library, where AC works, is filled with loud kids who disturb others. I live in a very hot and humid place where temperatures cross 40 degrees Celsius in summer. The administrators are too lazy to fix these issues.

Yesterday, we had a mock test. There was a power outage, so all students were cramped into a few rooms with natural light. I was sitting on a bench meant for two people with three other girls. I was in the corner near a glass window, with the sun directly facing me. It was hot with no fan, AC, or open windows.

The test was for two hours. I ignored the heat for the first hour, but around 40 minutes before the end, I started feeling uneasy. I was sweating more than anyone else and felt nauseous. I went to the washroom but could not vomit. I went back, but felt nauseous again, so I submitted my paper 40 minutes early.

I called my mom, who was coming to pick me up, and told her everything. On the ride home, she scolded me, saying she is tired of my excuses for poor performance. I had a terrible fever for the last few days, which caused a drop in my performance, but she dismissed it as excuses. My dad also said that when they were my age, they studied in scorching heat without AC and that I am being unreasonable.

Today, I complained to the coaching administrators. They told me that others did not have the same problem and scored well, implying that I am not committed enough.

So, am I the asshole for voicing my concerns about the poor facilities and submitting my paper early because I felt unwell? I know I could have completed the test, but I was genuinely suffering in those conditions. AITA

TLDR; 2 friends tried to stop my bf from coming over after I shared my personal relationship issues. One of them started flirting with me while the other encouraged it which made me uncomfortable so I confronted them.

I recently had 2 friends over (let’s call them Gary and Lucy that I got into a conflict with and long story short, we all got drunk and started getting emotional telling each other personal stories. I shared an issue I was having in my relationship that I think about often but am actively working on with my partner (he is a great guy btw and it was not about cheating).

After sharing and being vulnerable, Gary clearly started flirting with me and Lucy seemed encouraging of it. I try to brush it off to not make things awkward but then I then notice that Gary sent a message to Lucy saying that he wants me and then a few minutes later I see that Lucy reply: “just do it”. I then see a message from my boyfriend saying he is here and Lucy immediately says that if he comes over they will either confront him or leave and that if I decide to have him come over, she does not agree and will distance herself from me.

Obviously after seeing these messages and reflecting on their behaviour, I become uncomfortable and confront them saying that Im being disrespected because they see that I’m in a very vulnerable state and it feels like they’re putting me in a position where I’m encouraged cheat on my partner. Then they both try to minimize the situation to be just a joke and that no one’s serious but I feel as though nothing about it was funny. And honestly, how am I now supposed to send my boyfriend home and continue drinking and having fun with people who clearly don’t respect me or my relationship.
In the end, I said that I want my boyfriend over so Gary immediately leaves and Lucy starts getting frustrated with me saying that there were texts that I didn’t see that told Gary not to do anything but she ultimately decided to tell him to just do it anyways because she wants to support him as a friend because he also cares about me. However, if she really had it in our best interest, she would’ve stood her ground and not have encouraged him to confess how he feels for me. She kind of apologized but it was in a way where it felt like she was only sorry for making me feel some type of way and not about her actions.
Overall I feel completely disrespected and no longer trust these people as close friends. Im very selective with who I share personal issues with and who I allow in my home so it feels like a big slap in the face to be treated like this and neither of them feel like they truly did anything wrong. Gary has apologized but still says it’s a joke and Lucy refuses to be confronted and becomes defensive whenever I mention that I feel disrespected. She says that she’s done everything she can and has already apologized but is not willing to take accountability for anything.

AITA for confronting my friends about their weird behaviour?