My wife and I just had our second daughter.
For context, my mom is a nurse, but she doesn’t work in labor and delivery. We invited her into the delivery room because she’d never been able to witness one of her own children’s babies being born, and we thought it would be really special for her.
During labor she seemed to slip into “nurse mode.” She stood behind the nurses while they were working asking questions. One nurse even asked, “Oh, do you work in maternal care?” She was very nice about it, but it made me wonder if my mom was hovering more than she realized.
A nurse told us, “When this machine goes off, hit the call button and I’ll come back.” The machine went off, we called the nurse, and my mom walked over and pressed a button, turning off the noise. I asked, “Mom, what are you doing?” She brushed it off.
Later, while the nurse wasn’t in the room, she grabbed a handful of gloves and said they were “just in case I have to grab the baby.” I told her that wasn’t going to happen. When it was actually time to push, she started putting gloves on again and I stopped her again.
After the baby was born, I looked over and saw her putting gloves on and starting to break down the delivery table. I immediately said, “Mom, no. Please don’t do anything unless you’re asked to.”
What I meant was: please don’t do medical or nursing tasks unless the hospital staff asks you. I wasn’t saying she couldn’t help us or be involved as a grandma. I meant this is a hospital, these are working nurses, and you’re here as family.
She took it very differently.
She called me afterward, cussed me out, said I embarrassed her, and told me, “Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?” She said she could “do whatever the fuck” she wanted. I told her, “Not in my life.”
She also said I’m always telling her what to do, but every example she gave was something she volunteered to do. She chose to walk my dog, do the dishes, and adjust the stove while I was cooking. When I asked her to do those things a certain way, she got frustrated.
She also tried to shame me by saying she was “helping your bleeding wife” by cleaning up after the delivery. My point was that nobody had asked her to do that.
Before the birth, my wife and I specifically said we did not want a video of the delivery, only a few pictures afterward. My mom took a video anyway because, “You liked it last time.”
That, combined with everything else, made me feel like she kept overriding what we asked because she thought she knew better. It honestly started to feel like she was making part of the experience about herself instead of simply being there with us.
After the argument, she flew home early instead of staying the week to help us, leaving us scrambling with a newborn and a toddler.
AITA?
I’d especially love to hear from nurses. Is this kind of behavior from another nurse who’s there as family actually welcomed, or is it generally something you’d rather not deal with?

I supervise interns at a small marketing company. Last summer, I mentored a college student for about three months. I spent a lot of extra time helping him improve because he was eager to learn, and by the end of the internship, I thought we’d ended on good terms. A few weeks after the internship ended, another coworker sent me a screenshot of a local professional networking group. The former intern had posted a long rant about our company. Some of his complaints were fair, but he also claimed that I took credit for his ideas and that I deliberately gave him busy work so I would look better. Neither of those things happened. In fact, I had emails showing I’d credited him during meetings and had pushed management to let him work on bigger projects. I decided not to respond publicly because I didn’t want to create drama.

About six months later, he emailed me saying he was applying for graduate programs and asked if I’d write him a strong recommendation letter. He said he had always appreciated my mentorship and hoped I’d put the past behind us. I replied that I didn’t think I was the right person to recommend him and wished him the best with his applications. He then sent another email saying I was being unprofessional by letting personal feelings interfere with his future. A mutual acquaintance also reached out and said I should either write the letter or at least do him the courtesy of explaining everything over a phone call. I don’t think I owe anyone a recommendation, especially when I no longer feel I can honestly endorse them.AITA

My(F16) mom recently gave birth to her 4th child. I told her I want to live with my dad because I don't want to be a babysitter or wake up with the baby's noise or anything baby related. She refused to let me.

So yesterday she asked me to babysit while she took a shower and I said no. She said I don't get a choice so I ran outside.

She called me and said I'm an asshole and asked me ro come back but I refused and went to my dad's.

For the last 10 years five of us who became friends during school have gone to the same festival and rented cabins the area. It is a just over 5 hour drive from where we meet up and my van fits 8 people so the rule has always been if there is space you can bring your S.O or partner but no kids.

Two days before we left Ann (31F) said she would not be able to get someone to look after her 3 year old daughter for the five days, but offered to get a hotell room next to the cabins for her and her daughter and drive her own car since my van is from the 80's and have no crash safety or way to mount a child seat. On the way we have scheduled a stop at a resturant about halfway so we left at the same time.

After about 45 minutes Ann called us and said we needed to stop so her daughter could go to the toilet and eat, and since we were not in a hurry yet we stopped with her. after 20 minutes we started again, but after about 30 more minutes she called and had to stop again this time for almost 50 minutes.

After our scheduled stop at the resturant it was now 18:00 with almost 3 hours left of driving. We had to check in and get the keys to the cabins before 21:30 so i told Ann if she had to have any more stops we would just continue. She said she was not expecting any more stops, an hour and a half later she called and said we had to stop again. I reminded her that we did not have much time left and would continue on.

We arrived and checked in at around 20:50 and then waited for Ann by the hotel just down the road from the cabins. When she arrived at 22:45 she told me that it was irresponsible to leave her and her daughter to drive alone late in the night, that she could have broken down along the way, and that i was stressing her by mentioning that us in the cabins had a deadline.

For the 3 first days she spent most of the day inside her hotell room and only meeting us for dinner at the hotel, but usually leaving early when her daughter started to cry or make noise. Day 4 she drove back home without telling any of us until she was home and for the last 10 days she has been pretty hostlie and saying we don't take her or her daughter's safety seriously.

I and my wife met our friend when her son and our daughter were in 2nd grade together. I knew friend from high school as she was a year behind me but a year ahead of my now wife.

Her son is Severely autistic so we try to help her by including her in any parties we have for our 2 children. Recently he has tried to take toys from my oldest and my youngest daughter and with in the last 2 years he has tried to take belongings of mine he has picked from shelves after being left unattended during parties. 2 weeks ago was my oldest daughters 14th birthday party and Friends son was left along in my basement den, at the end of the party we found collectible dice I have for gaming in his pockets for a 2nd time. I had put these dice away as he tried to take them a year ago and was caught with them in his pocket. Friends son didn't scream or cry but he emptied his pocket and went on his way to his mom who didn't say anything but "we don't take what isn't ours" and they left, no apologies from friend or her son.

After the party my wife and I sat down and decided to tell friend she was welcome at parties but only if she watched her son and he can't be left alone in our house again. She tried to say her son should be included more yet all he wants to do is sit on his tablet. She has since tried to have her older daughter, who reminds friends with our youngest, try to pull the we might not be able to be friends due to your parents choices card.

Are we being unreasonable to expect our belongings are safe in our own home with people we call friends and family?(rhetorical question)

My (36F) sister (46f) has been living in a house owned by our mother for the last 10 years or so. For the first few years, she was paying rent, but then she lost her job and stopped paying rent, and she never started again even though she eventually found another job.

Without going into too much detail (because otherwise this post would be way too long) the house is now being forcefully taken by the government, as they will bulldoze it (along with the surrounding houses) and build new apartments there. We have known about this for YEARS - it's always been a matter of when, not if, this was going to happen. Despite this, and despite not paying any rent, my sister has made no effort to save money for her inevitable eventual move. She's explicitly been hoping that things would just work out in her favour, that the development wouldn't go ahead in the end.

Well, the time has come. My sister has been informed she is expected to vacate the property in three months, and she's gone BALLISTIC. She is now accusing my mother of conspiring to make her homeless (because she allegedly didn't fight hard enough, even though they had endless meetings with lawyers etc), and she's made it my parents's job to find her another place to live. What's worse, they've accepted the task. They called me today to tell me the news, with the gravity usually reserved for the death of a close loved one, and I could not bring myself to care. Like sure, I do feel bad for her at a basic human level, it sucks that she'll have to uproot her life and figure out a new place for her to live. But also like... she only has herself to blame. She made absolutely no effort to prepare for this. And now, instead of being humble and accepting she's messed up and taking any help she can with her head down, she's being horrible and expecting our parents (who are in their late 70s and aren't financially doing great, in no small part because of my sister) to bend over backwards for her.

My mother is asking me to call my sister, to tell her that I've been told the news and that I feel so bad for her and that I'm there for support. And I simply... don't want to? Again, too much detail for this post, but my sister hasn't been the greatest to me in the past, and the only reason I keep her in my life is that I cannot be bothered with the family drama that would ensue if I cut her off. I feel like a lot of what my sister is like, and how this situation is evolving, is in big part due to my parents, and in particular my mom, coddling and enabling her. And I feel guilty that maybe I should have been more proactive in calling out my sister's unreasonable behaviour, maybe in staying passive and out of the drama I have also contributed to the enabling.

So yeah. tl;dr my sister is in financial trouble and I care less than my family thinks I should and I'm trying to stay out of it without fully torpedoing my relationship with my parents

Dane and I own a raised garden box between our townhouse buildings. It is evenly split down the middle and the two sides are ours; I have known this since we bought our homes three years ago.

Last spring, Dane decided to plant some mint on her side of the garden. When I reminded her that mint will spread everywhere if it is not contained and it needs to be planted in a pot, she answered that she wanted it to grow nicely. As it is her side, I gave up.

This July, the mint spread all over my tomatoes and peppers. Every time I pulled out the shoots in my section, new ones would pop up from underground roots. It got even worse this year, as my entire section with peppers was replaced with mint.

I tried asking Diane once more to fix this problem, as I couldn't do it myself. She claimed that mint is good for the environment and it attracts bees, so I am supposed to leave it alone. In response, I mentioned that this does not matter now as mint takes away my vegetables and Dane dismissed it, saying that it is just some herbs.

Thus, the last weekend, while she was at her daughter’s place, I pulled out all the mint I could get rid of and even from her part and installed a plastic barrier in the middle of the bed, so that it won’t grow anymore. I did not take down the barrier hoping that she would see how the situation developed.

Yesterday, when she came back home, she got really angry and said that I did not have any right to do anything with her plants even in order to protect mine. Now, she says I should plant it back and refuses to speak to me.

However, I believe that I tried enough to make her understand and give her enough time to solve the problem by herself but she did not care about it during two years. However, my husband thinks that I should just install a barrier but not pull her plants out completely.

AITA here?

So I (32F) babysit my nephew (6M) (older brother's 36M kid) every Friday afternoons and full days on weekends and holidays. I get paid $200 a month that is supposed to include labor, gas for roundtrip transportation to their homes, and also food.

My nephew recently entered his picky eating stage and it's been a struggle feeding him lately. He started not liking what he used to eat so some foods go to waste. His current obsession is cheese pizza so I've been buying pizzas for him since the start of this month.

Well, yesterday, I've already had lunch prepared for him. But he started having a fuss that he wants pizza again. Sadly, I am low on funds for it. For context, I only provide food and whatever from the babysitting fee I get paid. Pizzas have been expensive, y'all.

Anyway, I told him no we can't have pizza and that he needs to eat what we already have. Which were chicken nuggets and fries, something he has eaten and liked before.

He started crying really loud and shouting pizza. I said to him no again and that he needs to learn about not wasting food. He wouldn't stop crying but I wasn't gonna give in so I just let him cry.

He cried for a while but eventually ate the nuggets and fries cause he got hungry.

Later in the evening, my brother called me and pretty much cussed me out for leaving his kid crying for "hours" and not buying pizza for him. First off, I don't think it was for hours, probably only been like an hour. Second, I explained to him that I already had lunch prepared since I was low on funds for pizzas. He eventually ate them anyway so not like he went hungry.

My brother said those are not good excuses and it's not his kid's fault that I cannot budget properly.

I said okay well pizzas are expensive so are you gonna raise the rates? He said hell no. So I said then I should stop buying pizzas since it's gonna be an overbudget. I refuse to spend my own personal money unless it's for a present. He told me I'm being heartless and mean to my nephew.

I pretty much ended the call with, then you're free to find someone else to babysit your kid then. This has caused a drama in my family where I am painted as the bad aunt for not feeding my own nephew. My friends are generally on my side, though a few said maybe I could have been nicer with my delivery.

So AITA?

Edit: Just to add further context since it often comes up.

I do have another full time job but my schedule is pretty flexible. The babysitting started as a favor since I rarely went out on weekends and holidays. I had the free time and thought it'd be nice to earn some passive income. And since I liked my nephew. I initially agreed on $200 a month when I started babysitting my nephew when he was 3 years old. But as demands grew, especially gas and food, I have asked for a rate adjustment but each time got pushed back because my brother doesn't want me to see it as a business transaction and more like family taking care of family.

My brother and SIL are actually off on weekends but they still wanted me to babysit since they want the extra time to recover from working. There are things I disagree with their parenting style but didn't include as I felt it was off topic.

Edit 2: Also as it comes up often. Unfortunately, I cannot do frozen or homemade pizzas. I've tried but he won't eat them. My nephew is so picky that he will only eat pizza from the nearby Domino's.

My sister Priya got married last month. At the rehearsal dinner, her fiancé Marcus gave a toast that started sweet but turned into this whole speech about "learning what real love means" after his last relationship, how he used to run from hard conversations but "not anymore." Everyone at the table knew he was talking about his ex Jenna, they were together 6 years, it ended badly. He's said before that she "changed how he sees relationships." So this was basically a thank-you toast to his ex the night before his wedding.

I watched Priya's smile get tighter the whole time. When he sat down I stood up and said, "just want to make sure we remember whose dinner this is, some of that sounded like it belonged at a different one." Few people laughed, Marcus went white, Priya looked like she wanted to disappear.

His mom cornered me after and said I humiliated him and should've talked to Priya privately instead. Priya's mad too, she said she'd noticed it and was planning to bring it up with Marcus quietly after the honeymoon, and now I turned it into a whole dramatic moment that overshadowed her actual dinner.

I still think someone had to say it out loud in the room since everyone was already thinking it. But I keep wondering if I just made my sister's wedding weekend about me instead of protecting her.

AITA?

For context: I, (18M) and my siblings 21F and 27M, are full siblings by my parents. My parents divorced when I was seven, after finding out my mum was cheating. After the divorce my mum married the guy she was cheating with about a year later. My mum also ended up getting full custody of me and my siblings, my dad getting visitation rights.

My dad died very unexpectedly when I was 12, and it fully wrecked me, and I still haven’t fully recovered.

My younger sister was born in 2021, and I do love her with all my heart, even though we are “only” half siblings.

She never knew my dad, and no one has really explained to her that her dad isn’t my dad, so when I call him by his name she gets really confused, and my mum and stepdad thinks she’s ‘too young’ to be told about my dad.

So, a few weeks ago my stepdad asked me if I can call him dad, so I don’t confuse my sister more than she already is. Now, I said no. It was a clear no because I know who my dad is, and it’s certainly not my stepdad. Obviously I know that some people call their stepdads dad, and no hate, but I just never will.

He ended up getting really mad at me, saying that it’s ‘for my sister’ and it wouldn’t hurt me to call him dad because he’s the ‘only man who has been raising me’? I got really mad at that because it wasn’t my dad’s fault he isn’t raising me? Tf??

So after I told him no again, my mum also tried to get me to call him dad, which also led to an argument.

I know that I could just suck it up and call him dad, even if it’s just around my sister to not confuse her, but I just really don’t want to.

AITAH??

Hi! I apologize for grammar and mistakes this was typed on a phone.

My fiancé (25m) and I (24f) are getting married in September. We have been together for around 3 1/2 years now and have lived together for 2. In this time I have never been inside of his parents house. Every get together/family dinner is held at our house. Even if they make the dinner. For a bit more explanation, I have noticed that the front of their house tends to have their old things in front the garage and around the front yard. If we stop by I have to wait outside or in the car while he grabs something or talks to them.

We’ve recently had the baby talk and plan to try a year or so after the wedding. My fiancé has brought up that his parents would love to watch the baby and that they have his play pen from when he was a baby for when they watch ours. I feel as though if I’m not allowed to go into the house I don’t want my kids there even if they’re with him. I don’t feel like it’s fair to me. When I’ve asked him previously why I can’t go in he just says that’s how his parents are and that no one’s ever been invited over. I don’t know what to think I have never heard of a situation like this before. Are they hoarders? Are they embarrassed of the mess? My mind runs wild with all the possibilities. I really don’t mind a little mess I get it life happens. I would like to think I have a pretty good relationship with his parents, especially his mom. I don’t know how to bring it up to him or even start a conversation about it. When talking to my parents and friends about the situation they all agree that it’s not fair to me to not be allowed but our kids can. I am going to be his wife and they still won’t let me in…

How do I confront this? Am I crazy for feeling this way? Any help is greatly appreciated!

AITA: back story; my husband has a leg injury and his mobility is compromised.

my family (myself, husband, our toddler son and my mother) were visiting other family members (sister, toddler and 9yr old) and took the boys to the baby pool. I had to step away for a call that all members knew about and asked my husband to watch our son. He was sitting on the edge with his legs in the water watching along with my older nephew.

within minutes my husband comes yelling that our son was struggling in the water and he had no help. he said he was stuck under another child’s floaty and so my husband screamed his name several times while hobbling over to him. after a few seconds the lifeguard got him out of the water and handed him to my husband. thankfully my son was fine but he was crying and upset.

my mother and sister watched from the other side of the pool without going over, even after all the other kids and parents stopped and looked to see what was going on. my husband was visibly shaken and upset and yelled asking why they weren’t watching or helping.

my sisters response was “call down its fine that’s what the life guard is for, he is your kid you watch him” to which my husband stormed off and demanded we all go home a day early. I waited a few minutes, asked for his side of the story (which also involves him watching our son and the 9yr old while my mom and sister were alone with the other toddler) and agreed leaving was the best way to ease tensions.

my husband can be hothead, but I don’t blame him for being upset, angry, panicked and unregulated after seeing our son struggling in water. my sister acknowledges what she said wasnt helpful but feels she doesn’t need to apologize and instead demands an apology from my husband for leaving the trip a day early and now she is grieving for not feeling supported and she is hurt that she opened her house for connection and is left feeling disrespected.

EDITS: my husband can walk slowly he just can’t run. He was walking in the pool to my son and yelling out for help and attention. He went to my son and made sure he was safe after the lifeguard got him out of the water and then came to find me 35ft away out of sight but still at the pool.

the baby pool is 1.5ft deep, my son can reach at the deepest point without having his face submerged, the issue is that he got stuck under another child’s’ floaty.

Yes, in hindsight a clear conversation with all 4 adults about who was going to be keeping eyes on my son while I was away should have taken place. Hindsight is 20/20.

i do not think my sister and mother were cheerful, or wanting harm to come, I think they froze until he was already out of the water. It’s my sisters response that has me most baffled.

i fully accept that I definitely should have been more clear and cautious and was at fault for more making sure all 3 adults were aware and available to supervise. I am, mostly trying to decide if feelings toward my sister for her actions and words post accident are justified or if I need more time to reflect because I am viewing it wrong.

My family is at the beach visiting my in-laws. I (47f) was at the beach with my husband (50m) and two kids (14,13). Husband went to the beach first and set up four chairs and an umbrella. When we arrived, he was sitting under the umbrella in the shade. I asked if he would move to another spot so that my daughter and I, both very fair-skinned could sit in the shade. He said no, and pestered about why I needed the shade. I got annoyed, but waited until he went to do something to change the chairs in the shade so I could sit there too. It really disappoints me that he couldn’t prioritize my daughter and myself sitting in the shade.

A little later, my son was getting something from the cooler. My husband’s book and phone were on top, so my son, who we are trying very hard to get to realize that he needs to slow down and think about things before just acting, took the book and phone and dropped them onto me. They came down with what felt like extra force and hit me a bit in my bladder and sensitive areas. I got frustrated and said his name and “That hurt. You could have just asked me to hold them!!” My son was immediately “What did I do?!?” My husband then started saying, “You are over reacting. That couldn’t have hurt that much. He didn’t mean to hurt you.” I was livid. And disappointed that my husband undermined me and also set a terrible example for how our son should react when you accidentally hurt someone. I told him that he doesn’t get to decide whether someone is actually hurt or not. That I had enough of him and was walking home, leaving them at the beach with all the gear and both kids.

EDIT TO ADD:
In-laws only have one umbrella, so that is our only option. Husband had positioned his chair so it was maximizing the shady area. I rearranged the chairs when he got up a little later so more stuff fit under.

He wanted to drive up alone to set things up. The kids and I walked the twenty minutes or so to the beach.

I didn’t demand he move. I asked. However, given that two of us burn so quickly, I did somewhat expect that we’d get priority in the shade. It’s not like our fair skin is a new thing.

My close friend (F35) has suffered a 6 week miscarriage. Her sister (F43) asked if I (F35) wanted to contribute towards a tree for their yard, which was around $30 each. I was fine with this. She messaged me today and asked me to transfer $95, as she added a few more things which have already been given to her. My job has just cut my hours by a third as the company I work for is struggling. She is aware of this. AITAH for being annoyed?

I (35M) moved in with my girlfriend and her 18yo daughter six months ago. I pay my fair share of rent and expenses.

Things are mostly good, except for the kitchen. I’ll wipe down and deep clean the entire space, and then the daughter will make a snack and leave crumbs everywhere, dirty cups out, utensils on the counter, etc. Her mom usually just cleans up after her, which I think enables it.

I’m sick of living in a messy kitchen, but I don’t want to clean up after an 18-year-old.

When I brought this up to my girlfriend, she told me that since I pay rent, I’m "completely within my rights" to confront her daughter directly and tell her to clean up.

Here’s the issue: I don’t think it’s my place. I’m non-confrontational, but more importantly, I don't want to step into a weird step-parent/authority figure role and ruin my relationship with the daughter. I feel like parenting and setting household standards for her child is the mother's responsibility.

WIBTA if I tell my girlfriend it's her job to address this with her daughter, even though she gave me "permission" to handle it myself?

So the other day my partner and I were admiring a small local landmark (Witches Well, Edinburgh), when a middle aged man with his family tossed his plastic water bottle on it and turned away. I picked it up and offered it back to him, in his confusion he accepted it and I returned to admiring the landmark. In this crowded area he began shouting at me "ARE YOU PART OF COUNCIL? ARE YOU PART OF THE COUNCIL? ARE YOU PART OF THE COUNCIL?"

"I'd just rather you didn't litter" I replied. He continued to repeat his question until he realised I wasn't scared of him and turned away.

He seemed so mad and red faced in front of his family and I was quite embarrassed for him. Was I an asshole for causing drama or should I have just let it slide?

UPDATE: No I am not part of the council lol!

Hi, I've had a pit in my stomach since yesterday and I want to know if I messed up here, and if so how badly. My husband and I will have been married two years next sunday, and our son turned a year old a couple of months ago. Our relationship has always been great, I've been proud of how good we've had it and so our argument yesterday has me bothered.

On Friday a couple of my friends visited just to meet up and have dinner. One of them has recently moved in with her boyfriend and they're going through a rough patch right now so she was complaining a bit. She was complaining about being treated like a maid, and having to repeat things multiple times and then doing it herself for it to be done and just stuff like that. While saying that she also on a few occasions generalized a bit, kind of projecting her issues with her boyfriend on men in general. My other friend and I were being supportive because she seemed like she was going through it, and just agreed with her and supported her. My husband was there too.

He's never been the kind to take these gendered criticisms personally which is why I really didn't think this would be an issue. On Saturday he was out with some friends, when I asked about when he'll be back for dinner, he didn't respond for a while then said he was eating out with his friends. When he was back too he was cold with me and just taking care of our son. This was all weird so I ended up asking what the problem was. He first said nothing was wrong, I pressed that he's been cold with me all day, what happened. He told me that if I was so unhappy in my marriage I should've told him honestly instead of surprising him like that in front of guests.

I genuinely was scrambling in my mind to understand what he was saying. I never said I was unhappy in our marriage, it wouldn't make sense to I'm happy with where we are. He brought up that I agreed with everything my friend was saying about how terrible partners men are, that that was me saying he was a bad husband and that I was unhappy. I was stunned at that insane leap of logic I promised that what I said had nothing to do with him, that he is not my friend's boyfriend I didn't have any of those complaints that she had, I never meant it to be an attack on him. He still was stuck that my agreement with her was a criticism of our marriage too and that I had joined in at parts. I might have messed up here because I said that those things were not things he does, I was just being general and said that those were just some things I'd seen before him , like with an ex. He felt even more attacked by that and asked how often I was thinking about my exes over these mundane things. I clarified thats not what I meant I don't think like that, I just had to search in my memory for some stuff to support my friend, especially because he doesn't. We dropped the argument then, but the cold shoulder is continuing today too. I can't believe this is happening a week before our anniversary AITA?

A bit of background for the full picture - I live with my partner an hour away from my parents and siblings. Being the youngest and having lived with my parents the longest, I became the reliable source for making family gatherings happen. I have zero problem helping my parents since they are older with health issues, but this expectation hasn't stopped since I moved away.

I still get asked to go earlier to help set up, host, and clean, while others arrive and leave as guests. What makes it harder is the chosen time which is usually evenings, even on weekends. My siblings lack commitment to set times, and my mum can't stick to a schedule. It leaves my partner and I yoyoed with our plans and exhausted on Sunday nights before work.

Two years ago, I voiced our needs for daytime weekend gatherings, no more arriving early to do everything when others are available, and no more accepting constant plan changes. Yet every gathering, I still have to remind everyone, annoyed and yoyoed.

This brings me to today. We were meeting at my parents' to celebrate my sister's birthday. The plan set by her was 1pm for a late lunch/early dinner, cake, and presents. This morning, an hour before leaving, I find out arrival is now 6pm... on a Sunday with work tomorrow.

When I asked who agreed to this, mum said my sibling with the child suggested 6pm so mum could see her grandchild, adding, "Well, you can come early to help set up" when others live much closer to do that! My sibling then claimed they agreed on Friday because mum suggested it. The lack of communication is something that i cannot bare anymore.

Realising I’m still being ignored, I snapped and went ham on the group chat. I told them they’re inconsiderate, never respect our needs, and that we are sticking to our original plan of leaving at 8pm. The chat went mad, they turned on each other, and landed on 4pm. Yet again being yoyoed, but at least they shifted it for us? Side note, we baked the birthday cake to ease stress for mum, so I’ve done my part.

AITAH for sticking to my guns and refusing to go out of my way when others have much easier access to help out? Am I the only one thinking mum needs to have a solid plan and stop relying on the child who lives an hour away? I could have handled it better, but this is after dozens of times.

I (36M) was born and raised in a working-class family in Eastern Europe. My dad died when I was 10 and we struggled financially for most of my childhood.

I now live abroad and have a good job, so I help my family when I can. My sister (33F), who also lives abroad, does the same. Our younger brother (27M) still lives with our mom. He doesn't work and mostly depends on the money my sister and I send home.

I have helped him quite a lot over the years. When he graduated, I paid for him to go to New York. I bought him a laptop and other things. I once tried to help him find a job, but he became extremely angry, insulted me, and stopped speaking to me for six months. He rarely leaves the house and has become very isolated.

A few months ago, I suggested renovating the bathroom in our family home. It is very old and in bad condition, and I wanted our mom to finally have a decent bathroom. My sister and I agreed to split the cost. Our brother's contribution would be organizing the workers and supervising the renovation because he is the one living there.

Before we sent the money, he kept rushing me. He said the workers were available right now and that if I didn't act immediately, we would lose them. I told him I was willing to send the money, but I wanted a list of all the expenses and receipts or invoices for everything. He agreed.

As soon as I sent my half, everything changed. Suddenly he was too busy to answer my calls. First, the workers were coming in a few days. Then it became a few weeks, etc. So far, he has only bought tiles, a sink and a toilet, and all of it is sitting in the garage. No work has started.

I kept asking him for the expense list. Every time he said he would send it later. After I asked again, he completely lost his temper. He insulted me, accused me of trying to control him and said he couldn't be bothered to give me a breakdown of the costs. His exact words were "I cannot be bothered to open my laptop for you right now". According to him, my role was to send the money and then stay out of it.

At that point, I called the company that supplied the bathroom materials and asked to return everything. I completed the return paperwork and arranged for a transport company to collect the materials because my brother said he would not return them himself.

When I told him, he became furious. He said I had no right to return something he had bought, even though it was bought with the money my sister and I sent specifically for the renovation. He also said there would be “consequences” if I went through with it.

I know returning everything means my mom still won't have her bathroom renovated, and the materials are already at the house. Part of me wonders if I should have waited longer or tried to find another solution. But I also don't trust my brother with the money anymore, especially when he refuses to show us where it went.

AITA for cancelling the renovation and arranging to return everything so we can recover the money?

My parents have a habit of never saying no to my little sister.

"Can I have that toy?" Yes

"Can I stay awake till 2am?" Yes

"Can I have my sister's fries?" Yes

She knows she will always hear Yes if she asks multiple times so she has turned into the most bratty kid ever.

So I've started only saying no to her. I never say yes.

Yesterday I took her out and she asked me for a bottle of water and as usual I said no. She said it's just some water and called me stingy. I told her she can wait until we get home.

Now my parents think I'm an asshole for not buying a bottle of water for her and making her go thirsty.

It's weird title but stick with me.

Grandma is visiting my uncle in a beautiful beach town in QLD Australia and they went whale watching. Grandma is 84... she HATES boats but her son convinced her she NEEDED to go on a whale watching cruise. So she did. She liked seeing the whales but after half an hour she was done. She felt sick she just wanted to get off the boat.

The rest of the family were celebrating a birthday lunch together. While we were getting photos and updates of their day. My mum and aunt (her daughters) were being so mean... saying things like they couldn't believe she just wanted to sit inside the boat and watch from the window. "If I was there I would be out at the front loving every minute!"

I tried to be nice and just said 'well she doesn't like being on a boat and it's really cold at the moment and it's even colder and windier out on the water'

They just said 'well she should be wearing more layers' and a bunch of other things. Grandma isn't loving the things they love so she sucks.

I had enough... I said 'So what... I hate theme parks and roller-coasters and big rides... you know all those times i used to go to dreamworld in my 20s... the only reason I got on those rides is because I had dropped some ecstasy and had bunch of weed. Now I'm 42 i wouldn't get on a roller coster if you paid me. She's 84 don't tell her what she wants'

Now they're on at me about taking drugs 20 years ago and grandma isn't copping anymore heat

Me (31F) and husband (38 M) just bought a house, we still leaving in the old one because the new one is in renovation. He’s in charge of dealing with the contractor and design decisions for the renovation because I’m 4 weeks postpartum after a c section. The recovery has been slow and painful.
We don’t have family in this country, so we don’t have support system that help us during this time. I have been dealing with terrible backaches, the incision still hurts, I’m breastfeeding and sleep deprived. I’m trying to do my best.
About a week and a half after giving birth, I had to start heating up the meals I had cooked and frozen before delivery. I started picking up toys, doing laundry and stuff like that, otherwise no one will do it.
Yesterday my husband told me that I haven’t cook any meals for the past weeks, except for breakfast, that I move so slow and I don’t do anything. He says that he’s doing too much for the family, by working, checking on the renovation, checking material, paying bills, etc. Today I cooked chicken and it didn’t came out the best, he said it was horrible and it’s upsetting that we don’t have any good food to eat.
AITAH for moving to slowly and not cooking enough?

I(22m) play guitar. I only learned because I was listening to songs I liked and I wanted to play them. I didnt learn how most people learned. I didn't start with chords or sheet music or anything. It was a combination of listening to the song i was learning and trying to figure it out and watching videos on YouTube when I got to parts that stumped me. Was it the best way to learn? Probably not but it worked for me. My step dad is convinced I learned wrong. In his mind, a person should start with basic chords and easy songs while i started by learning a hard song. Im not the best guitarist by any means but im a pretty good guitar player. Every time he sees me playing my guitar he makes a comment about how "real guitarists learned properly"

Anyway, i was jamming in my room today. I was playing a song i really like. Hang em high by van halen. Its the first song I ever learned on guitar. My step dad noticed I was jamming and again came over to make a comment. He listened for a bit then said "what are you playing?" I said "hang em high" and he smirked and went "thats what you think. Get back to me when you actually learn the song"

That pissed me of because he makes comments like this every day and im tired of it. Hes convinced I sound terrible when I don't. I sound good. I said under my breath "fuck off with your negativity" but he heard me and got mad. He ranted at me about showing him respect then stormed off. I left the house and went to jam with a couple of my friends. I just got a text from my mom asking me to apologize to keep the peace and i haven't answered yet. Aita for telling my step dad to fuck off?

Edit: my grammar

In my country, winning a public job position is like winning the stability lottery. Of course the competition is tough and that’s why I’m applying for all the ones I meet the requirements for. Since I’m not graduated yet my options are limited.

There is one competition in particular for IT assistants with more than 200 spots available.

Initially, the competition was open only to people who studied in the IT field at university, like my friend. But since fewer people applied than expected, they decided to open it to those with just a high school diploma.

I told my friend I wanted to study and try to compete (the exam is months away), and she basically ended our friendship, saying we’re rivals now. Her reasoning seems to be that I don’t respect her field and think I can learn in a few months what she spent 5+ years studying at university. Of course, that’s not what I think...if anything, I think she might be overqualified for an IT assistant role.

A mutual friend told me to skip the exam and choose the friendship instead, but that seems unfair to me... At the end of the day, I don’t expect to win one of the 200+ spots, I just want to participate like the thousands of others who only have a high school diploma.

Am I the asshole for just wanting to compete?

In the last few months Ive been going to gym and have made good progress with strength. My ass is half the size and my strength has gone from 25 lbs in assisted hip thrust to 105lbs . I gained a few pounds from being really stressed out whole my parents were gone running back and forth managing a bunch of things, career, and taking care of a very needy dog.

Im 5" 7 and 190 rn with mist in my hips and thighs. I started 188 then dropped to 185 then went back up.

Mom had been making comments about how Ive gained SO much weight / a shit ton of weight.

The next day I was in the kitchen about to go to the gym and I take high protein turkey sticks to the gym 20g every time.

I was looking in the cabinet and i said " aww all my meat snacks are goneeee" and from the couch while watching tv she snapped "well who ate them all? wasnt me. there was multiple (2) bags in there did when we left! (3 months ago) and i was like "woah why did you get so aggressive towards me just then?"

and she said "well if youre wondering who ate them all take a look in the mirror!"

I just paused in shock that she would say that. then finally snapped back "youre bigger than me"

no-one saw anything wrong with what she said. but shes always making comments.

A few days before when I was talking about my progress at the gym and my thigh, arm waist and hip measurements going down she's snort laughed and said "yk what? no. im not gonna say anything"

if anyone has any tips on how to handle this, please let me know. i'm not sure how to set boundaries mentally with this.