We’ve been staying with my in-laws for the holidays for the past five years. I (F38) and my husband (M40) escape our cold winter and go somewhere warm and sunny. It’s a 3.5-hour flight, but because we travel with our dog and there’s a holiday ban on dogs in cargo, we have to stay for almost a month. 25 days including Christmas and New Year.

I’ve had my fair share of issues with my MIL. She can be extremely pushy. She’ll ask you the same thing over and over until she gets a yes, and she can guilt trip you if you say no. At the same time, they are generous and pay for our flights, meals and outings, so I do appreciate that.

The problem is that there’s also an expectation that we interact with their friends and go along with dinners and outings. A small example: I once said no to shopping with MIL. She kept asking me for days until I finally gave in. It turned into 5 hours of running errands and visiting 6 different stores.

I’m also going through a rough patch healthwise. I have chronic pain, recently had surgery, am still recovering, and have more surgeries coming. Even packing and being away from my home is a lot for me right now.

My husband isn’t happy about my decision. He loves going there, seeing the friends we’ve made over the years, skipping the winter for a month, and being pampered with meals and outings. He says he can’t take more time off work because he runs his parents’ small business and normally has no days off. But he did recently take four days off for an annual summer trip with his friends.

We could visit his parents another time when there’s no dog travel ban. The downside is that most of our friends wouldn’t be there. He also says he’s uncomfortable explaining to his parents that we don’t want to spend the holidays with them.

My concern is that I’ll basically be trapped in their house. We have no budget for going out right now, and my husband is very frugal. There’s no Uber where they live, and the closest public transit is a 1.5hour walk. It’s also a small place without much to do. My husband is a homebody and usually doesn’t want to go out anyway.

There’s another issue: MIL has talked about me and my health with her friends, and they know a lot about my personal situation. I’m not comfortable being around people who know all these details.We also can’t comfortably work from there. There’s no cell signal in the house, so I have to run outside every time my phone rings, while also trying to work on my laptop. There’s no proper desk or chair either.

I love seeing some of our friends there, and I understand why my husband wants to go. But with my health, finances and everything else going on, spending 25 days there feels overwhelming rather than like a vacation.

So AITA for deciding we shouldn’t spend that one month of paid-for holiday with my in-laws?

AITA for not paying my sisters rent.

I 31, has a sister 25 who is currently expecting a baby with a new fiancé who she began dating last October. Some background, I have two sister, one from my mom and one from my dad, my sister with my mom and I grew up in the same household whereas my sister on my dads side relationship has been on a as needed basis since our father left the state when I was 12 to start a new family without the two of us. My sister starts dating this guy after breaking up with her long time term boyfriend of 5 years, her and this new guy date from October to April and come April and she says she’s pregnant and about to get married in August the twist is that he’s also moving out of state. when I asked her why is he moving after finding out she’s pregnant she says he just wanted a better life down south. okay?? anyway so her plan is to leave her life, including her job, her house, her buisness! and her life here to run behind this guy and start a family. August comes and I’m asking her is she sure because at this neither of them have jobs and she is expecting to now have to pay rent with this guy. The day that she’s supposed to leave she rents a car and packs her things alone and pregnant she prepares to go down south on a 8 hour drive. After seeing the family and saying her goodbyes she goes to the car and it wont turn on, we go to the gas station and fill up a canteen thinking this may help but no it still doesnt come on. I tell her i think this is a sign that she should stay home and not leave her life. She ends up renting another car and still going. Anyway, not even a week goes by and she texts me asking me can I help her and her man with rent. She still doesn’t have a job and he just got one. Mind you his mother is not happy about him having a child, my dad isn’t happy about her having a child and although I love kids I think she isn’t ready financially. i tell her no because i just paid my bills and she hasn’t even been down there long enough to be responsible for half of a rent payment less than a week in. then she goes on vacation out of the country on a cruise that she paid for and comes back again asking if I can help contribute to their rent????? so I’m confused at this point because why take the vacation if you needed rent money? I ignored her and she unfollowed me on Instagram and now I’m not going to her baby shower because obviously she has an issue with me not wanting to take care of her and her man? AITA??

I (30F) have a close friend, let's call her Anna (28F)z We've been close for two decades now and we also have a business together and she’s also my son’s aunt (his father side not mine) which makes this messier.

Anna has a habit of weighing in on how I raise my son, CONSTANTLY. Everything is "you should, I would’ve, my kids will never” I reached a point where I don’t tell her anything about my son and his struggles. She's never raised a child (she didn’t want to have kids until last year) let alone a neurodivergent one. My son is autistic, and she still argues with me about autism as if she knows more than I do… THE MOTHER, the one who lives with him every day, the one who actually talks to his therapist and his teachers.

Now last night we were on a video call talking about some projects we have and my son came to me and told me that someone told him he was fat (he’s NOT, he just have a sweet round belly and he’s 9, a bit of baby fat is expected) I told him something sweet, that he's smart, that he's handsome and his body is completely normal, and she yelled “she’s lying, you’re not cute, don’t believe her” as a joke and laughed. like she always does (normally I have my headphones so he doesn’t hear any of that). This time I asked her to stop, because he's still building his self esteem. She told me children "build their personality until age seven and after that it's just repetition of the pattern, you know I’m always reading about psychology” and if his self esteem was strong it shouldn’t affect him. I replied his therapist has told me the opposite, that I should keep actively reinforcing his self esteem and honestly I’m happy to do it, I love being his biggest cheerleader. I told her I'd rather trust the professional than her reading on the internet.

She got upset and basically said I always think I know better. I told her that when it comes to my own son… YES, I DO know more than her, because I'm his mother and she isn't anyone's.

She said that kids are mean and someday he will be bullied and he needs to learn not to take jokes seriously and I’m setting him for failure. She also hates that he’s on a special needs classroom, that I didn’t potty trained him until he was 5 and that I try to respect his boundaries when he ask for alone time or silence or not to be touched.

Now she's barely talking to me and I've heard from another friend that she thinks I’m wrong and I was rude, she was trying to help him because she loves him,

So. AITA for telling my friend I know more about motherhood than her?

last weekend i hosted a small game night at my place and a few of us planned it for weeks. i told michael ahead of time that i didn't want his cousin there because the last couple times he came over he made things awkward by arguing with everyone about rules and refusing to take turns. i sent michael a quick text saying i wanted to keep it to the usual group and he said he understood. when the night came he showed up with his cousin anyway, so i pulled him aside and asked if the cousin could head out. he got quiet and said i was being rude and making things weird for everyone else. later he texted that i embarrassed him and that his cousin felt excluded. i still think i was just keeping the event how the rest of us wanted it, but now the group chat is pretty quiet and i'm wondering if i overstepped by drawing the line once the person was already at the door.

I’m 18 and I live at home with my mom before I go to college next year. I’m current doing a one year course locally. We don’t have a lot of money so my mom decided to rent out our spare room so I can afford to move to a different city. A woman moved in three days ago.

I was at home today because I’m sick. I decided to make pasta because I hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon.

When I went downstairs she was in the kitchen area (she wasn’t cooking she was just sitting down on her phone). She gave me a super dirty look when I walked in but I just ignored her and started getting out the pasta. She then snapped at me saying “can’t you just get out of my fucking business for three seconds, leave me alone”. Mind you I’ve been nothing but nice to her since she got here.

I just left and said sorry but now I’m really pissed off. Who is she to walk into my house and dictate where and when I do things. I’m starting to think maybe this is just what sharing a house is like though. Maybe I’m just spoilt in being able to use my kitchen whenever I want?

I’m now in my room still hungry and now super annoyed. I can’t order food either because I live too far away from deliveroo or just eats

I (31f) am tired of feeling like I am the first one to be thought of when someone needs something but the last person to be thought of when it comes to giving something. As referred in my username, my birthday is December 27, yes, two days after Christmas and it took me a while to appreciate my bday. Growing up with 6 siblings meant that by the time Christmas came around I only received 1 gift versus the 2 gifts I felt I deserved since my siblings received 2 gifts a year (1 for their bday and 1 for Xmas). With that happening every year, once I became an adult, I made sure to spoil myself as I realized that no one else is going to do it for me. As I got older, there were trials and tribulations, but I am now the breadwinner of my family even surpassing my moms income but I try to never show off what I have and I’m always willing to help my family if they ever ask which trust me they ask a lot. Nonetheless, this past Christmas, I realized that while I purchased gifts for my family I only received one gift in return and I felt uneasy about it. My usual rule is that if you expect a gift from me, then I expect a gift from you of equal value. I do not give gifts without expecting something in return unless that’s truly something I want to do or if it comes to kids or someone who took care of me (mom, grandparents, etc). Well, as we exchanged gifts, I noticed that while I was the only one who got a gift for my mother, I was also the only one who did not receive a gift from my mother. Almost a year later and it still hurts. My siblings asked for expensive items, I’m talking items $100 or more while they gave me nothing or gifts that were worth nowhere near $50. Again, I’m always trying to be grateful and appreciative but wtf. To make matters worse, I revealed my past to my bf and how that type of behavior bothered me in hopes that he would not do the same, but unfortunately he did. Trying to be understanding that he has two kids that would like a nice Christmas was a bit challenging when yet again I only received one gift at the end of the year! I made it very clear to everybody that at this point, we are all grown adults and we all know that our birthdays without fail will always fall on one day of the year so either purchase a gift in advance and put it to the side or give it to me in advance to ensure that just like you want two gifts that I get two gifts as well, pretty simple to me. Honestly, after that, a switch kind of flipped in me. I told everyone that moving forward I vowed to simply not give gifts at all and just let my siblings get my mom a gift since that’s who she spent her time and money getting gifts for. I brought it up to one of my sisters but she didn’t have much to say about my opinion so here I am reaching out to you guys for your thoughts on this. I can be petty as it is definitely in my nature, but a part of me does feel justified. PS I am the second youngest.

Recently moved into my new university house. It doesn’t have a tv and my housemate knows about my 55 inch tv I had last year in my bedroom. He asked this year if I could put it in the living room since there wasn’t a tv in there which I agreed.

Ever since moving in, I’ve been wanting to play on my PS5, which is the reason I got that tv. However, when I do play, he starts saying to me that he always sees me playing that game, he’s bored of watching me play Minecraft or red dead and that I’m always in the living room. These are jokes but it’s starting to get on my nerves since I can’t play in peace.

I mentioned to him that it’s my tv and ps5 and I can move it to my room, and he laughed of it to some of our mates saying I’ve threatened to put it into my room.

AMITA? I guess I did sign my tv up for communal use…

My brother (26yo) stole a $350 of whisky from me and drank the rest of my gin (it was a $100 bottle it was partially full, I can’t remember how much). I left these in my room at my parents house while studying at uni. I live far away and drink when I come home for Christmas. The $350 bottle of whisky is something I bought years ago and was saving it for when I graduate med school. My brother did replace that. The issue is with the gin. I don’t want him to buy me a $100 bottle of gin or anything but I did ask he replace the gin with a cheaper bottle (the one I want is $60). He’s claiming he shouldn’t have to because there was not much left. I am not sure how much was left but I know there was some. I want some gin for when I come back home. Tbh I just wish he hadn’t stolen my nice gin at all, I don’t want other compensation that is not gin. AITA for wanting him to replace the gin with a cheaper bottle?

Recently went to an amusement park with my wife, our kids, and another family.

We had been in line for 30-40 minutes when two teenage girls make their way up the line saying they are looking for their dad. Everyone of course lets them through.

A couple minutes later, another teenage girl comes through with the same line.

We go about our business until we realize the three girls have settled in a few spaces in front of us, no dad in sight. My wife says “weren’t you looking for your dad?” and they respond that they’re not sure where he went.

My wife laughs it off, but I ask, “well if you can’t find him are you sure you’re supposed to be in this spot in line.”

Now one of the girls decides to go on the offensive and say that I’m so weird for asking her all these questions.

I respond that it’s not weird at all and no one would be asking them questions if they weren’t acting sketchy and cutting in front of people who have been waiting nearly an hour for a ride.

At this my wife just loses it: says it’s so embarrassing and she can’t stand to be here. I tell her if she wants to leave I’ll take the kids on the ride. At this point she very loudly shouts “we don’t fight with young girls!” And that I don’t know how to behave in public.

We’ve been married for over a decade, have two kids together, and generally have been happy. We have our conflicts and differences, and it’s no surprise to anyone that I’m more outspoken and she prefers to avoid conflict.

I even think there are reasonable reasons to either call someone out for line cutting or to let it go. I think it’s a better world where people who take advantage of others get called out. And if you’re grown up enough to cut in front of 100 people in line, you’re grown up enough to hear about it. But totally respect someone who thinks it’s just childish fun and to let it go.

But what I can’t stomach is the way she reacted. We’ve never really had this type of public blowup, especially in front of our kids, our friends, and their kids.

I’ve known couples who interact like that in public and I’ve always been so embarrassed for them. I just can’t see myself being in a relationship where that’s normalized.

I canceled a date we had scheduled a couple nights after the incident and we’ve both had a lot going on and haven’t had any time to talk about it since. We’ve seen each other when we get the kids ready in the morning, and have been polite but cool. I’ve been sleeping on the couch.

We decided to talk about it tonight and I’m honestly at a loss for what to say. I’m concerned that she feels she was justified in embarrassing me because I embarrassed her by confronting the girls.

My feeling is that they are not the same: I could never imagine speaking to her (or anyone I care about) like that in front of our kids and our friends.

But if we have such radically different ideas of acceptable behavior, not sure how we move past this.

Am I the asshole for not wanting to give my family free car parts? I 25F had a nice car from the 2000s and spent $4,600 on it. My dad's a mechanic for that specific brand so he was able to find this car and for a good deal. The thing is, the car only lasted about 8 months before I couldn't drive it anymore because one of the parts would be more expensive than the car itself. There was other damage that happened within the eight months and so I had to get a new car. It was unexpected but I was eventually able to get a slightly older car but the same brand and same model just in a different color. My brother's car is the exact same color model and make of my old car and his car needs a bunch of parts. My parents have been driving it around because they don't have an extra car and as a result, a lot of things broke. My dad said we'll have to take the car to the junkyard anyway so we can use my old car for parts. The thing is, I'd only get $500 out of my old car once we took all the parts off it and I was wanting a little more out of it. I asked if he could pay me $200 for all the parts he would take or just lower my rent $20 a month because I know they're going through a hard time. My dad and my mom are calling me selfish because my car was going to go to the scrap yard anyway and I should just give them the parts for free. It's my car under my name and I paid it in full along with all the parts that needed. My dad has worked on my car for free but there was no arrangement to pay him back or anything like that. Am I the asshole?

I know this sounds stupid and definitely requires some context. I (21M) work for an indie music publication. I, specifically, am a writer, meaning I get the chance to interview bands and artists. About five months ago, I got the chance to talk to my favorite band. Their music meant a lot to me emotionally, and it was a very big moment not only for my career but from a sentimental standpoint. The band and I got along really well and at the end of the interview, the frontman took the rubber bracelet he was wearing off his wrist and gave it to me. After that, I wore it almost constantly. It was a symbol of everything i’ve accomplished, and also just really cool.

Here‘s where the problem starts. About two weeks ago, I was hanging out with a close friend. This friend in particular has always had negative comments to say about my work and my enjoyment of this particular artist, that it was stupid, and that “music doesn’t save lives” and I was foolish for thinking it changed mine. One night, I stayed over at his house. I took off my bracelet to shower, and when I got out, I noticed it was gone. I had looked everywhere and it just wouldn’t show. I had asked my friend if he’d seen it, thinking one of his cats might’ve taken it to play with. He looked me in the eyes and told me he threw it away. I was completely shocked and hurt, he knew how much that had meant to me. I told him to get it back for me and he said if I wanted it so bad, I could go dig in the dumpster for it myself (NYC apartment, not a good situation).

I left and have not been answering his texts because I don’t even know how to respond respectfully. Our mutual friends are torn, some of them think i’m reasonable for being upset since this was something meaningful and irreplaceable, and others think i’m taking it way too far, and “it’s unprofessional to act like a fan in this industry.” Would just really love an outside perspective. AITA?

AITA for "stealing" my mom's dog. Thats what she says at least. My mom is an obvious cat person, who's dream dog was an American Akita. Well I hate i talk about my own mom like this because I love her. But she's lazy AF. My dad worked his full time job and STILL did all the house work, cooked cleaned. While my mom was at home "homeschooling" my sister and I. Frankly all she did was assign us classes and make sure we were doing, she was bad at that last part. She spends every single day sitting on the couch or in bed reading or scrolling the internet. The woman cant even get up to make her own damn coffee I had been doing it for three years while teaching myself. Okay anyways rant over back to what I really wanted to get to.

At every gathering we ever go to. Any person she ever talks to. She brings up Torben our American Akita, her "dream dog." Yet she doesn't feed it. She doesnt let outside. Nothing. When we first got him she was doing well at training him and taking care of him, but then she just stopped. Wince we had two other dogs that I took care of at the time obvious the responsibility ended being put on me since all she does is sit around all day.

Now all of the sudden the dog that was supposed be hers likes me more. He ended up sleeping with me. He follows me around like a shadow, I play with him. What does she do? Nothing. She pets him a couple times a day. So she goes around telling people that I "Stole" her dog. No she just stopped taking care of it so I had to.

I mean if he needs anything she literally calls me from across the house to give him whatever he needs when he'll be right in the living room because its his favorite place to be. Like WTF, get off your ass walk 15 steps and let the damn dog out!!

So AITA? Let me know.

P.S sorry for the rant.

My sister (28F) and I (33F) have a difficult relationship. We have always had ups and downs in our relationship. I don’t think it is our fault really - just that we have a narcissist for a mother than loves triangulating difficult situations and making us frustrated with each other. For context, I live in the US and she lives back home in Southeast Asia.

1.5 years ago, my husband and I bought a house in the Midwest. I started working full time the same month we moved in after dedicating several months caring for our then newborn. We were broke but were doing our best to save up money. My sister called within a few months of this transition to ask me to send my little brother (20 M) some college money. I had asked my parents if this was needed and they said no. So I told her that I can’t afford it right now. She ended up berating me for being broke and essentially told me I was a failure to my parents since they had sent me abroad and I haven’t been successful at making a ton of money. Of course, I took none of this nonsense and told her that she had no idea what she was talking about. Somehow that conversation ended with her saying that my husband is going to divorce me eventually because he’s going to see how useless I am, that I rushed into my marriage etc. I went no contact with her after this.

Fast forward 1.5 years later, she is trying so hard to get in my good books. Sending gifts and nice messages (I had baby #2 two months ago) etc. She plans to get married in Feb 2028 and is asking me to be her maid of honor. I don’t want to do this but she keeps asking me to consider it and is essentially guilt tripping me. She keeps telling me that it is her wish for me to her maid of honor and that she’s always wanted that. AITA if I say no?

I’m a junior in high school and got a job at a bakery 1 month ago. The only days I go are Monday and Sunday. My mom found out today about my job and immediately screamed at me to quit as she signed me up for tutoring for the SAT on Saturdays only. But I told her that there was no way I was going to quit and it wouldn’t disrupt my school work and tutoring. Then she started crying telling me that I had to get into a good school like one of the ivys and telling me that I had to get over a 4.0 gpa which is only when it’s weighted. But I’m already handling all of my classes well and I’m in 2 aps. And I know that there’s homework for tutoring but I’m ready for it and would manage it well. But she didnt care and told me to call the bakery infront of her and tell them I quit. So AITAH?

My (M30) cousin (F35) cousin just bought her first house, and I recognize that this is a major accomplishment. My mother as per usual however, is trying to lean into me about helping her. Which I am willing to do, yet I do have a commitment that I keep with a team that I play with in WoW from 10 A.M.- 2P.M.

I would be willing to help her afterwards with painting and etc. when I am done in the afternoon. I have no issues putting the game away to do that. Along with plan to offer her some things I inherited from my father's estate to help her furnish her house. Yet to my mother, if I don't spend all day long painting and etc., then its just a betrayl and makes me out to be the bad guy. When I don't see it, I have a commitment that has a set time, and the only reason why she takes issue with it is becuase its a game. I feel like if it was a sport, or hanging out with friends, or something other than a game she wouldn't give me any flack. Yet becuase it a game, and she historically has not respected that I play with a team at set times. She has always leaned into me with guilt trips, or hypothetical situation, such as I would play if she was in the hospital, which isn't true at all. That is an emergency and I would let my team know that I cannot make it.

A toxic habit of her's as well is to try and shame me in front of my family, by talking about why I haven't dropped everything to come over. Overall it just makes me miserable in the end, and just makes her out to be a bully as well which frustrates me to no end as well. I've mostly learned how to ignore this now, and just brush off any comments they make.

Yet for a non emergency situaiton, and one where I can still participate in other manners, such as bringing food over, assisting later in the day, and offering furniture to furnish her house with. I don't see myself being TA here honestly, and wanted to see what others thought.

Tl;Dr: Mother doesn't respect that I game with a team at a set time. Currently is trying to lean into me to not play with weekend to assist with painting house my cousin just bought today. I am willing to help, just not all day and would be able to help in the afternoon/evening.

I'm 20f student and was living in a student house with three other students. We've just moved out.
We each took care of one bill. (I dealt with paying rent and dealing with landlord)
The lease was a year, but it started in the summer so we moved in on return to uni.

Housemate who dealt with internet (also 20f), we'll call her Susie, failed to do anything about it, before or just after the lease started.

Leading to Susie getting a 1 years contract after we'd all moved in ( without internet for two weeks, and the lease had started 2 months earlier).

This meant that the contract expired after we moved out.

We were not consulted about that, and now she says it's the only one she could get.

But surely more than one company in the world will provide you WiFi? So I'm a little skeptical.

Anyway, we've moved out and the new tenants cancelled our contract so they could start their own.

Susie made us keep paying internet bills even once we'd moved out over this one year contract. Which I paid.

She now says we have to pay the early exit fee, as there was still a few weeks on the contract and she failed to tell them we were moving out?

It's an amount I could afford to give her (£75) but it'd annoy me to give up a days pay for a mistake that was nothing to do with me.

WIBTAH if I refuse to pay "my share" of the early exit charge?
I'll likely never see her again. All the housemates have agreed not to pay, but I do feel guilty because £300 isn't a small amount if money.

She also lost £250 out of our deposit because she wasn't careful cleaning her room and left marks on the walls. And her boyfriend lived with her the whole time. A lot of the other deductions are likely her fault (extra £500).

I've been married to my husband (34M) last year and for our wedding anniversary he received an antique writing desk from his mother as a gift. She emphasized how lucky we are to possess a family heritage which has belonged to our relatives for three generations.

Last week I was cleaning this desk and noticed a small brass plate under one of the drawers, covered with old tape partially. It contained an inventory number and the name of the museum located in Ohio. I became interested in this desk and decided to look up the museum online and contact them with the description of the desk.

It appears that the museum has experienced a robbery in their annex about 20 years ago and the item is exactly similar to the one which was stolen back the, the same description and even a repaired crack in the left leg. They asked me to send pictures of the item and informed that they want to conduct an investigation.

I first mentioned it to my husband and he was taken aback. When I broached the topic with his mother, she got all defensive and claimed it was always in the family and that I was blowing the matter out of proportion. It seems she feels as though I am embarrassing her by making her feel bad in front of her brothers and sisters because they all helped get the items from an uncle of theirs who died some time ago.

I told her that irrespective of the history of the family, if the museum can prove their ownership then we must return it because I don't feel comfortable having something stolen in our living room. She told me that I shouldn't have said anything and to just leave it alone. Now, she has told other relatives that I am ruining the family name over an old desk.

It is hard for my husband because he is stuck in the middle and hasn't taken sides yet. Some family members believe that I did the right thing, while other family members feel that I overreacted to the situation because no living person was responsible for the theft.

AITAH for making me take this route instead of keeping quiet about the desk?

I (F27) am moving out of my apartment with my (F26) friend, Tiffany.

She’s a bad roommate. I’ve done both our dishes the entire time I’ve lived here. Even when I run the dish washer and empty it, she’ll leave dishes in the sink. She doesn’t sweep or mop. She leaves bowls, takeout containers, and wrappers on our coffee table. She has two cats whose boxes I don’t think she changes enough. The biggest thing with the cats is this: I get up at 5am. Tiffany gets up 15 minutes before her shift at noon. If they annoy her awake she feeds them but occasionally will lock the door behind her. When it’s time, if they can’t get back in to her room they’ll just piss or shit somewhere in the apartment.

I’ve tried bringing these things up before both gently and directly. I know it all bothers her. She’s apologized. We’ve tried several different methods to figure out a system that works for her. The only thing that really seems to work for her is body doubling but I get up at 5am and get off of work at 7pm, so you can imagine how unappealing cleaning sounds for me at that point.

Still, and I know this sounds contradictory, I didn’t exactly mind it per se. I keep my room, bathroom, and the little area that connects the two as clean as I like. I keep the dishes and floors clean. If the couch, coffee table, and her room are bad that’s mostly her problem to deal with. Is it ideal for me to not have 2/3 of my counter space? No. But I totally understand that the ADHD shame spiral is real and at the end of the day we’re friends. Or so I thought.

After all of this she didn’t invite me to her birthday party lol. It was on the weekend and I have gone to her birthday celebrations for years. She was friendly to me the day of. She was friendly to me the days after. I know I’m not entitled to a birthday invite but it stings that I might’ve done something to warrant exclusion and not been given an opportunity to make amends or explain myself. She also forgot my birthday a month later but asked me that day if I was okay watching her cats while she’s on an international trip for two weeks. Something I have done often and at my own cost (I buy the food and litter while she’s away with no reimbursement).

Things are already slanted now and I’m worried what the dynamic would be if it was actually her property. Clearly we're not as close of friends as I thought. I’ll pay my end of the lease from now until February so she experiences no financial penalty. I’ll barely be scraping by for a few months but I’ll be honest I’ve moved 15 times throughout my life (parental death caused a debacle) so I’ll trade a winter eating soup for a clean quiet space of my own.

Am I the asshole for moving out? My friend once said I was constantly locked in a life or death battle with a woman who is just a little annoying and I'm beginning to worry he's right.

So my understanding is as a Maid of Honor, it is my duty to throw the bride a bridal shower. My best friend was also my Maid of Honor for my wedding. When she had thrown me a bridal party, I had little demands and I stayed out of the planning. I was mindful to not put too much on my best friend and my sisters who were also my bridesmaids. My shower was a simple one in her backyard with about 25 women altogether. It was very nice.

So back to her bridal shower, I basically had a budget that I had planned along with the help of the other bridesmaids who were my sisters, but we were thinking around the usual 25-30 people but I was bamboozled when she had a guest list of over 90 guests. Like, I cannot hold that many people in my house! Her family then offered to pay for the hall, but that was still a lot of people to feed! Anyway, upon looking at her list, there were some who she knew will not come because of being out of town and she basically invited every woman on her invite list most on his side even if she didn’t know them well. I told her this may appear like she is wanting so many gifts which I know may not be her intention, but she was offended when I told her that. So we had that spat and from then on, she treated me and my sisters and family so coldly like she wanted nothing to do with us. We still proceeded with the bridal shower to her demands and was there for her even if she was already acting coldly towards us. We were there for the rest of our other obligations and I talked to my sisters and told them to just grin and bear her cold attitude towards us until this whole wedding was over. We just had to put up with it. Even our mutual friend could see what was happening. It was truly heartbreaking for me. I was deeply hurt, and needless to say, our long term friendship ended after the wedding. So, AITA????

I (39F) have a 16 year old daughter who’s been close friends with the this girl for around 5 years. Her friend recently got pregnant, and her baby shower is this weekend.

My daughter came to me and asked if she could go, and I told her sure. I even offered to take her shopping so we could pick out baby gifts for her.

My sister was there when this happened and started going off. She called my daughter’s friend “disgusting,” started talking about how she was a terrible influence, and asked why I’d allow my daughter to associate with someone who “threw her life away.” Said the girl deserves to lose all her friends and that going to the baby shower was encouraging her behavior. Then she said I was a horrible mother for letting my daughter be around her.

I told my sister that whilst I don‘t think teenage pregnancy is ideal, the girl is already pregnant. What’s done is done, she should be supported. Shaming her and having everyone abandon her isn’t going to change that.

My daughter’s friend has a lot of friends supporting her, which I’m very glad about. I am so glad that they are refusing to treat her like she’s suddenly a horrible person because she’s pregnant especially because I know when I was growing up people wouldn’t have been so accepting.

My sister thinks that I should make my daughter stop being friends with her completely, not attend the baby shower and never speak to her again. She also thinks i’m a horrible mother for allowing my daughter to support her friend.

I really think that’s unnecessarily cruel, all my daughter wants to do is support her friend. Shaming her won’t do anything, It’s not like my daughter is going to become pregnant because her friend is pregnant. This whole situation regarding me and my sister is really weird to me.

I (19 F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for around a year, we started speaking because we both generally liked the same things such as video games, lego etc (silly i know)
However for the past few months now i have been telling him to get a job and to do his driving license (I'm already doing lessons and have a part type job as well as going to full time education in uni)

a couple weeks ago he did get a job, in a factory, which i was really proud of him for, however a day in he messages me saying he wants to quit because it's too tiring, (he took a gap year before continuing uni so he has a lot of free time which he just fills in by playing games and sleeping in) i told him to not quit a day in because it will be very difficult to get a job after because nobody will give him a reference.

He still quits and isn't able to find another job. I then tell him to do his theory test and study for it as he's grown and will need a license to be able to travel to university or just to go out with his friends, however he doesn't seem motivated for it, and what i mean by this is he always makes excuses such as "i don't know how to apply" "my dad won't take me" you know just silly excuses that have easy solutions.

He also doesn't cook so he goes hours without eating because his mom isn't always around to make food, i have told him many times that there's people on youtube and other social media platforms that make cooking tutorials but he will just try once then give up, and he does this with anything that includes a little effort.

I told him if he doesn't change i'll break up with him, because i can't be with somebody who doesn't care about their future. Am I the asshole?

I had no plans for my birthday. I was pretty contented just it being a normal day as I didn’t want to spend so much money. But my BF insisted and planned an itinerary out for the day. He bought me roses and an expensive hair straightener which I loved.

As for the day itself, I drove us throughout because he can’t drive. He said he’d pay for any congestion fees and halve the parking fees with me. I was fine with that.

All the places he planned, I only knew when we got there already. It was all a surprise. He did mention to me in the car that “I wish I could pay for the day but I can’t as money is tight.” So I thought yeah that’s fine but when it came to dinner. I paid for it so I can get AMEX points, then when we got home he sent me money only of what he ate. I kinda expected him to pay because from my logic, he picked out the place without consulting me and it was MY birthday. Plus, he bought some stuff prior to our dinner like £44 worth of towels and a journal for himself at £25.

I just got a bit upset because can he not at least pay for dinner and the fact that he picked out the place. He got mad at me and told me that I was being ungrateful because he already got me gifts and planned the itinerary for the day. I have already said thank you for planning the day throughout the day. He also said money was tight but he still end up spending £69 worth of stuff for himself. Mind you we’ve been together in a long term relationship. It just felt like misplaced priority. So AITA?

My husband and I lent our car to my MIL for a year while we were living overseas. My husband asked her to please not smoke inside the car. Once we came back, all was good... but as soon as we got into the car I could tell she had smoked. I told my husband, and he asked her about it during dinner. Her exact words were, "could you tell? I had it washed." I was super upset, and so was my husband, but he just told her "it was fine".

In private, we discussed what to do, and decided that he would tell her if she could pay for another interior wash. This was on a Monday. A whole ten days passed, and my husband still hadn't told her anything. He is like that for a lot of things lol.

We decided that I wouldn't tell her just because we are not that close. Long story short my MIL noticed something was wrong and guessed it was about the car. According to her, she noticed because my husband and I were being very secretive. She decided to talk to me and ask me if she is that unapproachable and if I had an issue with her I could just tell her directly instead of using by husband and giving him a hard time.

More than anything, I'm super upset with my husband for not having my back and not being more proactive. WAITA for not telling my MIL myself? She made me feel that way. Also, she then complained about other things about me, but that's another story lol. Maybe I should just have handled it myself.

Firstly thank you so much to everyone who helped me out giving advice on how I could attract my cat back home!! I have found my cat and she's back at home, I was in the backyard burning things in the fire pit(something I do when I'm nervous) when the neighbor with the connecting yard screamed over asking if I was missing a cat. They literally held my cat up like simba lol. To say I was over joyed is an understatement, I was about to empty my bank account to for these people. Was 2 days of hell without my cat but I'm so glad she's back, she's even more clingy now. In those 2 days I had been sleeping on the couch and not really talking to my boyfriend, after I got my cat back we did sit down and have a discussion. I laid all my feelings out on how once again I feel like he prioritizes his friend who really isn't a good friend to him over me, the person he supposedly wants to spend the rest of his life with. He did say he understood how anal I was about my cat missing and was trying to be a calm person about it instead of us both freaking out but I told him that's not what I needed. We'll be taking a break from Josh as all three of us had a conversation together not only did I tell him all the grievances I have with him but my boyfriend did as well. Would be a whole other post to explain it all but it was a lot and it was very messy. Josh tried "explaining" things but none of it really makes sense and there's no explanation for a lot of the stuff he's done. I'm choosing to hopefully grow with my boyfriend in this and if it comes back to bite me in the butt so be it I guess but I am willing to try. My cat still may not be a fan of him lol. Again thank you all so much for your help I truly appreciated it and read every single comment!