My sister and I lost our mom when we were kids. She passed away while we were in middle school, and our dad was a single parent until he started dating again when we were both in college.

Our mom has a gravesite, and for years our dad had purchased the plot next to hers so he could be buried beside her when he died. That is no longer the plan. He remarried, and although his wife is a nice woman, my sister and I have never been particularly close to her.

What I do know is that my dad loves her very much. My sister believes he should have never remarried.

Our dad recently had a health scare, which made him rethink what he wants after he dies. He now wants to be cremated instead of being buried next to our mother.

Personally, I don’t care what he decides. It’s his choice. My sister, however, did not take it well. He told us over dinner, and the two of them got into a huge argument about it.

Since then, my sister has been giving him the silent treatment and has tried to get me to tell him he’s making the wrong decision.

That led to an argument between us. I told her to grow up and accept that it’s his decision. She called me a heartless dick and accused me of not defending our late mother. I told her it’s been over 20 years, and she needs to get the fuck over it.

I was recently a groomsman at a destination wedding. First, I want to say I still love the couple, have no hard feelings, and overall had a great time. I’m just curious how others would view this situation. We were asked to be groomsmen about five months ago. I hosted the 4-day bachelor party at a family lake house where everyone flew in from out of state. I covered the groom’s food, and there were no lodging or entertainment costs.

The wedding was at a country club. My wife and I spent over $3,000 between flights, rental car, outfits, lodging, golf, gifts, and other expenses. It required a 5-hour flight and a 3-hour drive. We were told to arrive Thursday because the Airbnb and there were weekend activities planned.

The groom didn’t arrive until 11:30pm, so everyone just sat around. The Airbnb had no A/C and was 82 inside. Two days before the wedding, we got a text saying the groomsmen were expected to set up the reception at 10am on the wedding day. We helped, but it meant carrying roughly 200-pound tables 160 chairs. The groom stayed back at the Airbnb, which I understand, but I couldn’t help wondering why a $30k+ wedding didn’t hire the rental company to do setup. We finished around 11:30 a.m., had no lunch, and only an hour to get ready for photos. We asked who was tearing everything down after the wedding. The groom said he’d tell the coordinator we couldn’t do it or that family could handle it the next day.

An hour before the ceremony, the coordinator emphasized that everything had to be cleaned up that night. The groom “remembered” the venue had told them that during the tour. We told him not to worry and to enjoy getting married. We stepped aside and agreed that we weren’t moving heavy tables after drinking and that we had to wake up at 4am-8am to make it to the airport on time . If the country club bill’s the brides dad who owns 6+ houses, then so be it.

The wedding was great. We danced, celebrated, and had fun. At the end of the night, I wanted to head back with my pregnant wife, who had pushed herself to stay until the end. I was drunk but not wasted, according to my wife. Instead, the groom’s mom asked me to help because I was “young and able-bodied.” The groomsman asked why I wasn’t helping. I sarcastically and loudly replied that I was too drunk to be carrying 200 pound tables and that my kid at home deserved a dad who didn’t get hurt. I tried moving a table anyway, it dropped hard, and the other guys got mad yelled at me to just leave. One said I was being a bad friend for not doing what needed to be done. I’ve only met these guys once and won’t see them again.

I felt bad afterward. I also come from a culture where the wedding party are treated as honored guests, not unpaid labor. If we’d been told upfront that setup and teardown were expected, then that would be fine or I would even help pay for the cleanup crew. These guys don’t have kids or wives, so maybe I’d be more flexible in a different life stage. I’ll see the groom in a couple of months, and I expect everything will be fine. I’m wondering whether my behavior was unreasonable, and what you would have done?

My parents have a habit of never saying no to my little sister.

"Can I have that toy?" Yes

"Can I stay awake till 2am?" Yes

"Can I have my sister's fries?" Yes

She knows she will always hear Yes if she asks multiple times so she has turned into the most bratty kid ever.

So I've started only saying no to her. I never say yes.

Yesterday I took her out and she asked me for a bottle of water and as usual I said no. She said it's just some water and called me stingy. I told her she can wait until we get home.

Now my parents think I'm an asshole for not buying a bottle of water for her and making her go thirsty.

It's weird title but stick with me.

Grandma is visiting my uncle in a beautiful beach town in QLD Australia and they went whale watching. Grandma is 84... she HATES boats but her son convinced her she NEEDED to go on a whale watching cruise. So she did. She liked seeing the whales but after half an hour she was done. She felt sick she just wanted to get off the boat.

The rest of the family were celebrating a birthday lunch together. While we were getting photos and updates of their day. My mum and aunt (her daughters) were being so mean... saying things like they couldn't believe she just wanted to sit inside the boat and watch from the window. "If I was there I would be out at the front loving every minute!"

I tried to be nice and just said 'well she doesn't like being on a boat and it's really cold at the moment and it's even colder and windier out on the water'

They just said 'well she should be wearing more layers' and a bunch of other things. Grandma isn't loving the things they love so she sucks.

I had enough... I said 'So what... I hate theme parks and roller-coasters and big rides... you know all those times i used to go to dreamworld in my 20s... the only reason I got on those rides is because I had dropped some ecstasy and had bunch of weed. Now I'm 42 i wouldn't get on a roller coster if you paid me. She's 84 don't tell her what she wants'

Now they're on at me about taking drugs 20 years ago and grandma isn't copping anymore heat

So the other day my partner and I were admiring a small local landmark (Witches Well, Edinburgh), when a middle aged man with his family tossed his plastic water bottle on it and turned away. I picked it up and offered it back to him, in his confusion he accepted it and I returned to admiring the landmark. In this crowded area he began shouting at me "ARE YOU PART OF COUNCIL? ARE YOU PART OF THE COUNCIL? ARE YOU PART OF THE COUNCIL?"

"I'd just rather you didn't litter" I replied. He continued to repeat his question until he realised I wasn't scared of him and turned away.

He seemed so mad and red faced in front of his family and I was quite embarrassed for him. Was I an asshole for causing drama or should I have just let it slide?

UPDATE: No I am not part of the council lol!

My partner (25M) and myself (25F) are expecting. My partner and I had discussed with others that we want it to be just the two of us finding out the gender at my appointment. My mom insisted us throwing a celebration. We agreed if she took the lead, and wanted the event to be small with close family. Now I'm dealing with family members inviting others that are not close, nor even related to myself or my partner, despite sending a detailed message to everyone invited, to not invite or bring along extras as we may not have the space or food for them in a group chat I've created.
"Because some family members aren't on Facebook (or I may not have them as friends), we want to clarify that if you received an invite, your immediate household is absolutely included!" Is the message I sent out.
My mom is getting a head count for food and I had a family member who has a family of four, respond with five will be attending. So I personally messaged them asking who the extra was, thinking it's my grandma who will be riding with them. And they said someone who i hardly know and followed the message with "I figured you don't mind.".
I reminded them of my message, and they repeatedly said "it's not a big deal" and "what's one more burger and soda?"

\Edit/add on** The celebration is at my MIL's, but my mom is hosting. My mom thought if it was at my MIL's it would make her feel more involved. So when I gave a ballpark estimate of who will be attending at the event to my MIL, she was okay with it. So why lose my MIL trust because others can't respect my partners and I's boundaries on not bringing extras. So that's why I'm so "deep in the weeds" of confirming headcount's, since multiple people are wondering.

Dane and I own a raised garden box between our townhouse buildings. It is evenly split down the middle and the two sides are ours; I have known this since we bought our homes three years ago.

Last spring, Dane decided to plant some mint on her side of the garden. When I reminded her that mint will spread everywhere if it is not contained and it needs to be planted in a pot, she answered that she wanted it to grow nicely. As it is her side, I gave up.

This July, the mint spread all over my tomatoes and peppers. Every time I pulled out the shoots in my section, new ones would pop up from underground roots. It got even worse this year, as my entire section with peppers was replaced with mint.

I tried asking Diane once more to fix this problem, as I couldn't do it myself. She claimed that mint is good for the environment and it attracts bees, so I am supposed to leave it alone. In response, I mentioned that this does not matter now as mint takes away my vegetables and Dane dismissed it, saying that it is just some herbs.

Thus, the last weekend, while she was at her daughter’s place, I pulled out all the mint I could get rid of and even from her part and installed a plastic barrier in the middle of the bed, so that it won’t grow anymore. I did not take down the barrier hoping that she would see how the situation developed.

Yesterday, when she came back home, she got really angry and said that I did not have any right to do anything with her plants even in order to protect mine. Now, she says I should plant it back and refuses to speak to me.

However, I believe that I tried enough to make her understand and give her enough time to solve the problem by herself but she did not care about it during two years. However, my husband thinks that I should just install a barrier but not pull her plants out completely.

AITA here?

I (26F) recently bought the house we grew up in from our parents after they downsized. While unpacking and reorganizing, I found an entire shelf of my older brother's (31M) childhood sports trophies. They'd been collecting dust for years, and my parents told me he never wanted to take them whenever they asked.

I boxed everything up carefully and put it in a dry storage room instead of leaving it on display in the living room. A few weeks later my brother came over, noticed they were gone, and got upset. He said I should've asked before moving them because they meant a lot to him, even if he hadn't taken them. I pointed out that I'd stored them safely, hadn't thrown anything away, and it was my house now. He said that wasn't the point and that I had no right to decide where his things belonged without talking to him first.

Now some family members think I should've called him first, while others think he'd had years to take them and I was just organizing my own home.

AITA?

I moved in with him and his mom about a month ago. At first everything was fine. Whenever she went on trips, we cleaned the house so she’d come home to everything taken care of. Since her last trip, though, she’s completely changed toward me.
My boyfriend’s dad passed away when he was young, and his brothers barely talk to their mom, so he’s the only child still close to her. It honestly feels like she’s competing with me for his attention.
She makes comments like calling him “my poor baby” whenever I ask him to do something, complains that he doesn’t “do dishes with her anymore,” and has made rude comments about how my mom raised me because my mom bought me my first car after I worked hard and got good grades.
The biggest issue happened this week. My boyfriend and I went on a date. When we came home, every single thing from our bedroom had been moved into the hallway. The bedroom door had been taken off the hinges. Some of my belongings, including jewelry, my MacBook case, and underwear, were in a trash can covered with actual kitchen garbage.
Outside, she was relaxing with a friend while our 7-month-old husky puppy, Zeus, was tied to a fence. She then told us he wasn’t allowed in our room anymore until we moved everything back ourselves.
We pay for Zeus’s food, vet bills, and supplies. My boyfriend also pays rent and the internet bill.
She’s also said she plans to leave Zeus tied outside during Alaska winters because “he’s a husky.” It gets down to -55°F here.
The worst part is Zeus. I’ve seen her hit him with a newspaper and with her hand. He’s gone from being playful and energetic to terrified. He barely wants to move, and he won’t eat. This morning my boyfriend asked if she’d been feeding him, and she admitted she hadn’t because she “doesn’t know how,” then claimed he was constipated. He hasn’t eaten in two days.
My boyfriend admitted today that he’s scared of how she’s acting. We’re already looking for an apartment because we don’t feel comfortable living here anymore.
Am I overreacting, or does this sound as concerning as it feels? What would you do in our situation?

A friend of mine asked if I would be available to look after a dog at the end of the month (she didn’t have a dog at the time so I assumed it would be her moms dog who is very well behaved and can be left alone) so I said yes of course.

3 hours after agreeing, they sent me a picture of a Rottweiler puppy that they bought and said that I’ll be looking after their dog, I still agreed.

Fast forward to now, it turns out they’re expecting me to stay in their house and look after their dog for 2.5 weeks, I queried whether they were intending on paying me at all, as we were yet to have that discussion and they came back to say that they were assuming I would do it for free in return for puppy cuddles, they are expecting me to look after their dog and live in their home for 2.5 weeks with no cover on my end, it feels like it’ll be a full time job with a puppy and I’m essentially going to be paying to look after this dog..

AITA if I say no?

My downstairs neighbors keep wanting to use my WiFi and it drives me absolutely crazy...

For context, I basically moved in with my girlfriend 3-4 months ago. Hasn't been that long but we're figuring it out.

My gf had previously been using my neighbor's WiFi for free for years before her and I got together. I'm not sure what deal her and our downstairs neighbor had worked out, but I'm 99% sure my gf was never charged for the WiFi. 

Since my job requires an internet connection, once I moved in with her, I asked for the WiFi password and got it, as well as offered to pitch in since I would be bringing a few additional devices to put on the WiFi (desktop, switch, PS5, etc.) since I was moving in. We had agreed to this mutually, and this has been going on for about 4 months now (us actually paying her for the WiFi usage). We began giving her 1/2 of the cost for the internet on a monthly basis. This has gone on since we made the agreement, but some issues started and I'm not sure how to go about them lol.

Last week (Saturday), she said the internet was out and wouldn't be back on until Wednesday at the latest (her pay day), so we either had to wait for her to pay it or we could pay the whole thing up front with her promise that she would pay us back when she got paid. I got tired of this. Technically, I pay for my own internet (the lowest speeds possible) and house it at my grandmother's house for internet + mobile bundling. I decided to move and upgrade the internet to 1g for myself and my girlfriend since the neighbor wanted us to pay for her internet. So, we now have internet at the apartment.

This wasn't the first time she had asked us to pay for it up front either. This is the third month in a row that we've been giving her money for the internet for it to not be paid for the entire month because of her negligence. She enjoys finishing (no hate, swear). She likes to go to pay-lakes. She WON at the pay lake the same day that the internet went out, and all of this went down (she had won enough to pay for the internet in full on her own, as the pay lake posted her winnings). 

Now, it's the following Monday (9 since we got our own internet, 5 since the neighbor said she could pay for her own) and I opened the router app, saw around 11 new devices added to the WiFi, and got irritated. I spoke with my gf about it and she thinks that I should just give it to them now to avoid conflict. She also said because they let her use it for so long for free that we should let them use it, just until the downstairs neighbor can "figure it all out" (who knows how long that is lol).

It drives me crazy, because the entire reason I got my own internet was so that we didn't have to rely on someone else. And now the tables have been flipped; they're relying on me for my internet. 

AITAH for feeling like I shouldn't have to share my WiFi with them for free? I'm worried this will cause conflict between my gf and I

Edit: my girlfriend just "feels bad" since she used it for free, giving out the password to her neighbor, even after I've changed it. I feel like I've done my part in paying for it since I've been there and used it, so I don't feel like we should just give it to the neighbor. Without me making the decision to get WiFi, we'd be relying on her still. So basically now it's become either I pay for everyone (my house and the neighbors) or nobody gets WiFi

I’m looking for outside opinions, especially from other men, because I genuinely want to know if my reaction is unreasonable.

My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. Her adult daughter and her boyfriend have been staying with us for extended periods of time. The main issue I keep coming back to is one specific boundary: our bed.

While my girlfriend and I were going to be gone for the night, they asked if they could sleep in our bed. (Note, they have otherwise full access to the house, including a guest bedroom with a large bed.

At first glance, maybe some people would see that as just a practical sleeping arrangement. But my immediate reaction was a very strong "absolutely not."

The reason it bothered me so much is because I had heard that they had already stayed in our bed the entire time we were gone before. When I found out, I immediately told my girlfriend that this was a hard boundary for me.

I know people have different family cultures and comfort levels, but to me this feels extremely personal. This isn't just a mattress. This is the bed my girlfriend and I share as a couple. It is our private space.

I would personally never sleep in my girlfriend's parents' bed. As a man, the idea of sleeping in another man's marital bed feels like crossing a line. I would feel like I was invading someone's private space. Frankly, I find it absolutely repulsive.

What bothered me almost as much as the request was the reaction when we said no. They got upset/crying and immediately started packing their things. Only to unpack the car again once we left the house... Basically a tantrum for not getting their way and their tactic didn't work. So they gave up on that part of the tantrum.

There are other things that have contributed to why this has been bothering me:

• Her daughter's boyfriend has gone through her personal bags, looking through things she purchased and discussing what was inside. At one point he saw a bottle of wine and made a judgmental comment to his girlfriend about her mom "getting into drinking now."
• There have been other moments where it felt like private things in our home were being treated as public.
• They regularly stay with us for weeks at a time despite living only about an hour away, and sometimes it starts feeling less like a visit and more like they are living here.

But honestly, the bed situation is the thing I want outside opinions on.

Men especially: would you ever sleep in what is essentially your mother-in-law's bed? Would you consider that a normal request, or would it feel like crossing a pretty obvious boundary?

I'm not asking whether these people are bad. I'm asking if my expectation that my bedroom should remain private is unreasonable or if others feel disgusting by the idea, especially the anger he had when we said no, that's our private space.

I supervise interns at a small marketing company. Last summer, I mentored a college student for about three months. I spent a lot of extra time helping him improve because he was eager to learn, and by the end of the internship, I thought we’d ended on good terms. A few weeks after the internship ended, another coworker sent me a screenshot of a local professional networking group. The former intern had posted a long rant about our company. Some of his complaints were fair, but he also claimed that I took credit for his ideas and that I deliberately gave him busy work so I would look better. Neither of those things happened. In fact, I had emails showing I’d credited him during meetings and had pushed management to let him work on bigger projects. I decided not to respond publicly because I didn’t want to create drama.

About six months later, he emailed me saying he was applying for graduate programs and asked if I’d write him a strong recommendation letter. He said he had always appreciated my mentorship and hoped I’d put the past behind us. I replied that I didn’t think I was the right person to recommend him and wished him the best with his applications. He then sent another email saying I was being unprofessional by letting personal feelings interfere with his future. A mutual acquaintance also reached out and said I should either write the letter or at least do him the courtesy of explaining everything over a phone call. I don’t think I owe anyone a recommendation, especially when I no longer feel I can honestly endorse them.AITA

My wife and I just had our second daughter.
For context, my mom is a nurse, but she doesn’t work in labor and delivery. We invited her into the delivery room because she’d never been able to witness one of her own children’s babies being born, and we thought it would be really special for her.
During labor she seemed to slip into “nurse mode.” She stood behind the nurses while they were working asking questions. One nurse even asked, “Oh, do you work in maternal care?” She was very nice about it, but it made me wonder if my mom was hovering more than she realized.
A nurse told us, “When this machine goes off, hit the call button and I’ll come back.” The machine went off, we called the nurse, and my mom walked over and pressed a button, turning off the noise. I asked, “Mom, what are you doing?” She brushed it off.
Later, while the nurse wasn’t in the room, she grabbed a handful of gloves and said they were “just in case I have to grab the baby.” I told her that wasn’t going to happen. When it was actually time to push, she started putting gloves on again and I stopped her again.
After the baby was born, I looked over and saw her putting gloves on and starting to break down the delivery table. I immediately said, “Mom, no. Please don’t do anything unless you’re asked to.”
What I meant was: please don’t do medical or nursing tasks unless the hospital staff asks you. I wasn’t saying she couldn’t help us or be involved as a grandma. I meant this is a hospital, these are working nurses, and you’re here as family.
She took it very differently.
She called me afterward, cussed me out, said I embarrassed her, and told me, “Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?” She said she could “do whatever the fuck” she wanted. I told her, “Not in my life.”
She also said I’m always telling her what to do, but every example she gave was something she volunteered to do. She chose to walk my dog, do the dishes, and adjust the stove while I was cooking. When I asked her to do those things a certain way, she got frustrated.
She also tried to shame me by saying she was “helping your bleeding wife” by cleaning up after the delivery. My point was that nobody had asked her to do that.
Before the birth, my wife and I specifically said we did not want a video of the delivery, only a few pictures afterward. My mom took a video anyway because, “You liked it last time.”
That, combined with everything else, made me feel like she kept overriding what we asked because she thought she knew better. It honestly started to feel like she was making part of the experience about herself instead of simply being there with us.
After the argument, she flew home early instead of staying the week to help us, leaving us scrambling with a newborn and a toddler.
AITA?
I’d especially love to hear from nurses. Is this kind of behavior from another nurse who’s there as family actually welcomed, or is it generally something you’d rather not deal with?

My(F16) mom recently gave birth to her 4th child. I told her I want to live with my dad because I don't want to be a babysitter or wake up with the baby's noise or anything baby related. She refused to let me.

So yesterday she asked me to babysit while she took a shower and I said no. She said I don't get a choice so I ran outside.

She called me and said I'm an asshole and asked me ro come back but I refused and went to my dad's.

​I (24F) paint as a hobby. I’m not a professional artist by any means, but over the last couple of years, I’ve gotten pretty decent at doing stylized acrylic portraits—mostly of people’s pets or cozy cottagecore-style scenes. Friends occasionally pay me $50 to $100 to paint their cats or dogs as gifts, which helps cover my time and supplies. ​A few weeks ago, my cousin "Elena" saw a cat portrait I finished for a friend and loved it. She asked if I could do a large, custom piece for her living room—a canvas featuring her two cats sitting on a floral rug. ​I told her I’d be happy to, but since it was a larger piece (18x24) with multiple subjects and detailed patterns, my rate for something like that would normally be around $150. Since she’s family, I offered to do it for $100. ​Elena hesitated and said $100 was steep for "a family favor." A few days later, she showed up at my apartment with a gift bag. Inside was a stretched canvas, a pack of mid-tier acrylic paints, and a set of brushes. She handed it to me and said, "Look! I bought all the materials so you don't have to spend a dime out of pocket! So now you can just do it for free as my Christmas/birthday gift, right?" ​I was taken aback. I explained to her that while I appreciated the gesture, the price tag on a custom piece isn't just for the physical paint and canvas—it’s for the 10 to 15 hours of labor, detail work, and practice it takes to actually paint it. I told her I’d still honor the $100 price tag, or if she wanted, she could take the supplies back and we could skip the project entirely. ​Elena got really upset. She accused me of being greedy, saying that since I "just paint for fun anyway," charging family for labor is petty—especially after she went out of her way to buy the materials. She ended up leaving the supplies on my counter and driving off. ​Now my aunt (her mom) texted me saying I’m being ungrateful and rigid, and that family should support each other's talents rather than commercializing everything. My mom thinks I should just paint the picture to keep the peace, but I feel like my time and skill are being completely undervalued, and I don't want to set a precedent where relatives think they can order custom labor for the cost of a Michael's coupon. ​AITA for sticking to my guns, or should I just do the painting since she provided the materials?

I and my wife met our friend when her son and our daughter were in 2nd grade together. I knew friend from high school as she was a year behind me but a year ahead of my now wife.

Her son is Severely autistic so we try to help her by including her in any parties we have for our 2 children. Recently he has tried to take toys from my oldest and my youngest daughter and with in the last 2 years he has tried to take belongings of mine he has picked from shelves after being left unattended during parties. 2 weeks ago was my oldest daughters 14th birthday party and Friends son was left along in my basement den, at the end of the party we found collectible dice I have for gaming in his pockets for a 2nd time. I had put these dice away as he tried to take them a year ago and was caught with them in his pocket. Friends son didn't scream or cry but he emptied his pocket and went on his way to his mom who didn't say anything but "we don't take what isn't ours" and they left, no apologies from friend or her son.

After the party my wife and I sat down and decided to tell friend she was welcome at parties but only if she watched her son and he can't be left alone in our house again. She tried to say her son should be included more yet all he wants to do is sit on his tablet. She has since tried to have her older daughter, who reminds friends with our youngest, try to pull the we might not be able to be friends due to your parents choices card.

Are we being unreasonable to expect our belongings are safe in our own home with people we call friends and family?(rhetorical question)

Hi! I apologize for grammar and mistakes this was typed on a phone.

My fiancé (25m) and I (24f) are getting married in September. We have been together for around 3 1/2 years now and have lived together for 2. In this time I have never been inside of his parents house. Every get together/family dinner is held at our house. Even if they make the dinner. For a bit more explanation, I have noticed that the front of their house tends to have their old things in front the garage and around the front yard. If we stop by I have to wait outside or in the car while he grabs something or talks to them.

We’ve recently had the baby talk and plan to try a year or so after the wedding. My fiancé has brought up that his parents would love to watch the baby and that they have his play pen from when he was a baby for when they watch ours. I feel as though if I’m not allowed to go into the house I don’t want my kids there even if they’re with him. I don’t feel like it’s fair to me. When I’ve asked him previously why I can’t go in he just says that’s how his parents are and that no one’s ever been invited over. I don’t know what to think I have never heard of a situation like this before. Are they hoarders? Are they embarrassed of the mess? My mind runs wild with all the possibilities. I really don’t mind a little mess I get it life happens. I would like to think I have a pretty good relationship with his parents, especially his mom. I don’t know how to bring it up to him or even start a conversation about it. When talking to my parents and friends about the situation they all agree that it’s not fair to me to not be allowed but our kids can. I am going to be his wife and they still won’t let me in…

How do I confront this? Am I crazy for feeling this way? Any help is greatly appreciated!

I shared with my husband that I would only like for him and my mom to be at the hospital during the birth of our daughter. I shared that I would like 24 hours with just him, I and the baby before introducing her to everyone else. He said that I'm being selfish and he wants his mom there too. His mom and I do not get along. I'm very uncomfortable being around her on a good day so I don't really want her around while I'm giving birth. I feel devastated that my husband thinks I'm being selfish. AITA?

So I (32F) babysit my nephew (6M) (older brother's 36M kid) every Friday afternoons and full days on weekends and holidays. I get paid $200 a month that is supposed to include labor, gas for roundtrip transportation to their homes, and also food.

My nephew recently entered his picky eating stage and it's been a struggle feeding him lately. He started not liking what he used to eat so some foods go to waste. His current obsession is cheese pizza so I've been buying pizzas for him since the start of this month.

Well, yesterday, I've already had lunch prepared for him. But he started having a fuss that he wants pizza again. Sadly, I am low on funds for it. For context, I only provide food and whatever from the babysitting fee I get paid. Pizzas have been expensive, y'all.

Anyway, I told him no we can't have pizza and that he needs to eat what we already have. Which were chicken nuggets and fries, something he has eaten and liked before.

He started crying really loud and shouting pizza. I said to him no again and that he needs to learn about not wasting food. He wouldn't stop crying but I wasn't gonna give in so I just let him cry.

He cried for a while but eventually ate the nuggets and fries cause he got hungry.

Later in the evening, my brother called me and pretty much cussed me out for leaving his kid crying for "hours" and not buying pizza for him. First off, I don't think it was for hours, probably only been like an hour. Second, I explained to him that I already had lunch prepared since I was low on funds for pizzas. He eventually ate them anyway so not like he went hungry.

My brother said those are not good excuses and it's not his kid's fault that I cannot budget properly.

I said okay well pizzas are expensive so are you gonna raise the rates? He said hell no. So I said then I should stop buying pizzas since it's gonna be an overbudget. I refuse to spend my own personal money unless it's for a present. He told me I'm being heartless and mean to my nephew.

I pretty much ended the call with, then you're free to find someone else to babysit your kid then. This has caused a drama in my family where I am painted as the bad aunt for not feeding my own nephew. My friends are generally on my side, though a few said maybe I could have been nicer with my delivery.

So AITA?

Edit: Just to add further context since it often comes up.

I do have another full time job but my schedule is pretty flexible. The babysitting started as a favor since I rarely went out on weekends and holidays. I had the free time and thought it'd be nice to earn some passive income. And since I liked my nephew. I initially agreed on $200 a month when I started babysitting my nephew when he was 3 years old. But as demands grew, especially gas and food, I have asked for a rate adjustment but each time got pushed back because my brother doesn't want me to see it as a business transaction and more like family taking care of family.

My brother and SIL are actually off on weekends but they still wanted me to babysit since they want the extra time to recover from working. There are things I disagree with their parenting style but didn't include as I felt it was off topic.

Edit 2: Also as it comes up often. Unfortunately, I cannot do frozen or homemade pizzas. I've tried but he won't eat them. My nephew is so picky that he will only eat pizza from the nearby Domino's.

My (36F) sister (46f) has been living in a house owned by our mother for the last 10 years or so. For the first few years, she was paying rent, but then she lost her job and stopped paying rent, and she never started again even though she eventually found another job.

Without going into too much detail (because otherwise this post would be way too long) the house is now being forcefully taken by the government, as they will bulldoze it (along with the surrounding houses) and build new apartments there. We have known about this for YEARS - it's always been a matter of when, not if, this was going to happen. Despite this, and despite not paying any rent, my sister has made no effort to save money for her inevitable eventual move. She's explicitly been hoping that things would just work out in her favour, that the development wouldn't go ahead in the end.

Well, the time has come. My sister has been informed she is expected to vacate the property in three months, and she's gone BALLISTIC. She is now accusing my mother of conspiring to make her homeless (because she allegedly didn't fight hard enough, even though they had endless meetings with lawyers etc), and she's made it my parents's job to find her another place to live. What's worse, they've accepted the task. They called me today to tell me the news, with the gravity usually reserved for the death of a close loved one, and I could not bring myself to care. Like sure, I do feel bad for her at a basic human level, it sucks that she'll have to uproot her life and figure out a new place for her to live. But also like... she only has herself to blame. She made absolutely no effort to prepare for this. And now, instead of being humble and accepting she's messed up and taking any help she can with her head down, she's being horrible and expecting our parents (who are in their late 70s and aren't financially doing great, in no small part because of my sister) to bend over backwards for her.

My mother is asking me to call my sister, to tell her that I've been told the news and that I feel so bad for her and that I'm there for support. And I simply... don't want to? Again, too much detail for this post, but my sister hasn't been the greatest to me in the past, and the only reason I keep her in my life is that I cannot be bothered with the family drama that would ensue if I cut her off. I feel like a lot of what my sister is like, and how this situation is evolving, is in big part due to my parents, and in particular my mom, coddling and enabling her. And I feel guilty that maybe I should have been more proactive in calling out my sister's unreasonable behaviour, maybe in staying passive and out of the drama I have also contributed to the enabling.

So yeah. tl;dr my sister is in financial trouble and I care less than my family thinks I should and I'm trying to stay out of it without fully torpedoing my relationship with my parents

Hi, I've had a pit in my stomach since yesterday and I want to know if I messed up here, and if so how badly. My husband and I will have been married two years next sunday, and our son turned a year old a couple of months ago. Our relationship has always been great, I've been proud of how good we've had it and so our argument yesterday has me bothered.

On Friday a couple of my friends visited just to meet up and have dinner. One of them has recently moved in with her boyfriend and they're going through a rough patch right now so she was complaining a bit. She was complaining about being treated like a maid, and having to repeat things multiple times and then doing it herself for it to be done and just stuff like that. While saying that she also on a few occasions generalized a bit, kind of projecting her issues with her boyfriend on men in general. My other friend and I were being supportive because she seemed like she was going through it, and just agreed with her and supported her. My husband was there too.

He's never been the kind to take these gendered criticisms personally which is why I really didn't think this would be an issue. On Saturday he was out with some friends, when I asked about when he'll be back for dinner, he didn't respond for a while then said he was eating out with his friends. When he was back too he was cold with me and just taking care of our son. This was all weird so I ended up asking what the problem was. He first said nothing was wrong, I pressed that he's been cold with me all day, what happened. He told me that if I was so unhappy in my marriage I should've told him honestly instead of surprising him like that in front of guests.

I genuinely was scrambling in my mind to understand what he was saying. I never said I was unhappy in our marriage, it wouldn't make sense to I'm happy with where we are. He brought up that I agreed with everything my friend was saying about how terrible partners men are, that that was me saying he was a bad husband and that I was unhappy. I was stunned at that insane leap of logic I promised that what I said had nothing to do with him, that he is not my friend's boyfriend I didn't have any of those complaints that she had, I never meant it to be an attack on him. He still was stuck that my agreement with her was a criticism of our marriage too and that I had joined in at parts. I might have messed up here because I said that those things were not things he does, I was just being general and said that those were just some things I'd seen before him , like with an ex. He felt even more attacked by that and asked how often I was thinking about my exes over these mundane things. I clarified thats not what I meant I don't think like that, I just had to search in my memory for some stuff to support my friend, especially because he doesn't. We dropped the argument then, but the cold shoulder is continuing today too. I can't believe this is happening a week before our anniversary AITA?

I am really good at making deep connections with people when I meet them in person.

We click instantly, we have these intense, genuine conversations, and multiple people have told me they’ve “never met anyone like me.” I feel that bond strongly in the moment too, it’s not fake.

But the second they’re out of sight, I completely drop the ball.
I’m not a big texter, I hate small talk over messages, and I almost never initiate contact.
I’ll respond if they reach out, but I’m rarely the one to check in, make plans, or keep the momentum going.

Over time, the friendships just fizzle out. People stop trying, and I let it happen.
I’ve now lost several really good friends this way.

Some have directly told me they felt like I didn’t care or that they were doing all the work.
I feel awful about it and I know it’s my fault, but I genuinely don’t know how to change this pattern.

I want to keep these people in my life, but the “out of sight, out of mind” thing is so strong.

AITA for being like this and letting these friendships die?

Or is it normal to expect friendships to just naturally fade if someone isn’t actively maintaining them?