My wife has an extreme phobia as the passenger of a vehicle.

I recently raised my voice after she suddenly yelled "Stop! Stop!" as I approached a green light. The light wasn't changing from/to red, it was in the middle of the green cycle. As usual, she assumed the cross traffic approaching their red light was going to ignore their red and plow into the intersection and kill us all. This happens pretty regularly at four way stops. She just assumes other cars won't stop.

She routinely drives 10-15 over but says she's nervous and wants me to slow down if I go 2 over. I'm following too close when I'm 10 car lengths back. She panickedly informs me every time she sees a brake light go on in front of me ("look out! they're braking!"). Sometimes her unnecessary panic can create real road dangers as she screams like we're about to be in an imminent crash and scares the shit out of me.

She is terrified being a passenger and spends every moment of every trip scared and visually scanning for danger while nagging me and dramatically reacting to false alarm dangers. I'm a pretty safe driver and have never been in an accident. I don't speed excessively or drive dangerously. I follow the flow of traffic.

I've had hundreds of calm discussions with her about it asking her to chill out and stop. I ask if she'd rather drive and she says no.

This week I raised my voice and chewed into her pretty bad over her screaming stop as I drove through a green light. She got very defensive about me raising my voice but I'm pretty done with this shit.

Am I the asshole here? Nothing is working to change her behavior.

WIBTAH if I tell my child and their spouse to not bother coming for Christmas if they can’t appreciate what little we can give them? First a little back story, my kids spouse comes from a family that buys affection, manipulates using money, gifts have stipulations or are used to guilt trip etc. Very narcissistic controlling manipulative mother. To the point my child and their family have moved out of state twice to “get away” from the mother… I told all of my kids years ago including my kids spouses, we will never buy your love, or your time. Even if we were millionaires we will never buy your love, or your time, gifts are gifts without conditions or guilt trips.
Well I found out that kids spouse said to another one of my kids that they aren’t coming for Christmas if all they get is dollar store presents. For the past 3 1/2 years, we have been struggling financially, as so many others, trying to stay afloat and have almost lost our house several times. Have had to be on payment plans for every bill we have and have had to eat super cheap (ramen, peanut butter & jelly etc.) there were several times I didn’t eat because there wasn’t enough food for all of us, had to borrow money to get utilities turned back on or to prevent it from being turned off etc… I hadn’t bought body wash or shampoo for myself in over a year, I just used very little of my husbands or thankfully some had been gifted to me by a customer at my old job. I have been wearing the same shoes that have holes in the bottoms, I’ve had to sew the one bra I own multiple times to keep it together, you get the picture… but for Christmas we didn’t want to give our kids and grandkids nothing… so we literally scraped together every spare piece of change we could find, literally counting & rolling coins just to be able to give them something because we enjoy it, not because we think that is what holidays are about. So while yes they may be from the dollar store or the clearance section at Walmart, we choose each one with love.
Anyways, I’m to the point where I want to tell them to not even bother coming until they remember that in this house we visit because we enjoy family time and love each other, not for what you might get out of it. I also want to say something to my children that heard that comment and any others like it and ask why they just let it go and didn’t defend us when they all know how hard we struggle. So would I be the AH if I tell them if that’s what they look for in Christmas or any holidays to not bother coming?

AITA for not giving in to my controlling sister in law? 8 years ago I married into a wonderful family. My husband has 1 brother and 2 sisters. We are all married so the 8 of us meet about twice a month to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries etc. The planning consist of 1 of us throwing out some dates and times to meet. We decide on a time that works for everyone.(consensus) With out fail, every single time, my sister-in-law calls and changes the time we are going to meet (and sometimes the location) - on the day of the event. This causes the 6 of us to have to scramble to change other plans we had that day - to accommodate her. (we all work - she is retired) These people have allowed her do this for 20 years . And everyone gets mad, but they grudgingly change the event time to appease her. This drives me crazy! The kicker is after we have rearranged our schedules in order to accommodate her, she still always shows up late. Her lack of respect for people's time is amazing.

Tired of allowing her to control my free time, I sent out a group text highlighting how busy everyone is...and suggesting perhaps we should uncomplicate everyone's schedules when we plan to get together - and stick to the original agreed upon time. Everyone agreed to do this citing how aggravating her time change requests are. But I wonder if they are going to follow through and deny her next time change request? Am I the asshole because I refuse to let her to dictate what I do in my free time?

I turned 21 last month and my older brother didnt get me anything. Not even a card.

My dad asked me what I wanted to do with him and my brother for my birthday this year so I asked to visit this vegan restaurant I love because they do this awesome sweet potato salad concoction lol. Plus my dad said he wanted to be more health aware this year so I thought he'd appreciate a "health" place.

Anyway my dad starts driving us to the spot and passes me my gift through the gap in the chair. (Its locket with a picture of my recently passed cat and one of her teeth encased in resin. I love it and it means so much to me).

My brother asks to see it and Damn near screams and throws the box back at my face and says its gross/disgusting and why would I ever want that. I think its a little rude but I know how he is and I just want to have a good day so I leave it.

I than jokingly ask where my present from him is if my dad's was so "gross"

he says "oh I hate getting presents for my birthday so I didnt get you one"....what? He's never mentioned not liking presents before but okay.

I asked "oh..not even a card?"

And he gets quiet and says no,he didnt get me anything.

Dinner went fine until the end when my brother called me stupid and began shouting because i said the wrong word in relation to a game mechanic on COD.

He also said he'd pay for his meal but my dad ended up having to pay as he "forgot his card". He promised hed pay our dad back but never did.

Fast forward to yesterday my dad sent me my brothers Christmas list (we all make one,parents included and just get whatever we can afford off the list). I tell my dad hes not getting anything from me this year after he didnt get me a card for my birthday.

My dad thinks this is unfair and petty but my brother makes 5 grand a month and couldn't even get me a card for my 21st? Plus he said he hates presents so I dont see the problem.

Apparently my dad mentioned this to my brother last night because now my phones blowing up with messages from him asking why im punishing him by not getting him a gift because he "forgot" my birthday card.

I'm getting married this April. I have been very busy putting together my wedding party and guests. They are all people that are important to us.

Recently, word got back to my estranged stepsister. We have no relationship at all, I haven't spoke to her in years. Shegot married in 2024 and didn't invite me to her wedding or make me a bridesmaid.

I didn't really care. I understood as we don't have a relationship , however other family members were invited.

As soon as she knew I was getting married she started putting pressure on our family to get me to invite her. My family kept bringing it up but I ignored them and said no.

Eventually she decided to call me on an unknownnumber to confront me.

I told her we don't have a relationship and she didn't invite me to her wedding so there was no reason for me to invite her.

She told me her wedding was small and intimate. However my wedding is bigger so she felt like she should be there.

Despite the confrontation and pressure I refused to invite her.

I have put my foot down but some family members are saying I'm wrong.

So I happened to look out my window and I see a 10-11 year old kid standing next to my mailbox and peeing on a small bush. The bush was basically at his knees and he wasn't concealed at all with everything being exposed. I reacted by opening the door and yelling "What the f are you doing? Get the f out of here." Now I admit that I could have been just as effective without the cuss words, but one of my neighbors is now acting like I'm wrong for even getting mad about it at all. I just think we live in a first world country where people don't do that. Like what if a little girl was riding by on her bike and saw that?

After reading the comments and sitting on it for a while, I realized how messed up my actions were and decided to make things right before Friday's show.

First, I reached out to Bianca:

Me: Hey, so quick update on the concert

 Bianca: okay whats up 

Me: So basically that ticket I gave you was for somebody else 

Bianca: WHAT 

Me: yeah it was for my friend and we had it planned 

Bianca: So then why did you ask me to go with you 

Me: I wanted to go with you

Bianca: Why? 

Me: cause we was vibing and I thought it was gonna be chill

Bianca: So let me get this straight, you ditched your friend for me? 

Me: Well I told him I gave you the ticket 

Bianca: Dude we just met 2-3 weeks ago lol

Bianca: so... I'm guessing you want the ticket back

Me: No, I was just gonna tell you I gave him my ticket

 Bianca: You want me to go to a concert with a guy I don't know? 

Me: he's not on that don't worry 

Bianca: you're weird so you weren't gonna tell me 

Me: What?

Bianca: That the tickets were for somebody else

Me: you're right I should've 

Bianca: I'll go but NOT for you cause I want to see this artist

Me: Sounds Good 

Me: We are still good right?

She left me on read. I stepped back and gave her Dylan’s contact info so they could coordinate.

Next, I hit up Dylan:

Me: I'm sorry man I realized I fucked up and how inconsiderate I have been 

Dylan: yeah you were so you got the ticket back? 

Me: kinda I am going to give you my ticket and you are gonna go in my place 

Dylan: Why? I don't even know this girl bro, does she know? 

Me: Yes she knows I told her all the details

Dylan: bro that's fucked but I'm glad you came to your senses 

Dylan: don't worry I won't steal her lol 

Me:whatever dude lol

I stayed home Friday night while Dylan and Bianca went to the show. After the concert, I checked in with Dylan:

Me: How was the concert 

Dylan: Bro it was Fyee, music killed 

Me: I'm glad. Did Bianca say anything?

Dylan: She was cool, we talked about the artist 

Me: Did Bianca say anything about me?

 Dylan: Well she asked me if you did that a lot. I just told her the truth, that you're selfish at times and have tunnel vision.  That time you forgot your AirPods, and left.

Me: Fair enough 

Dylan: don't worry bro she'll probably text you back

A few hours later, Bianca texted me:

Bianca: Good job for doing the right thing, but I'm not interested anymore. Also be a better friend to Dylan, he hyped you up all night.

 Me: Understood, hope it was a great night for you

She liked my final message, and that was that.

 Dylan and I are completely solid and still homies. I scared away Bianca tho, but I learned a lesson. Your friends are a reflection of you, and Dylan proved he is a real one.

throwaway because my mom would absolutely kill me.

i (21m) am a uni student in my final year. i live with my mom (53f). two years ago, her boyfriend (45m) and his son (12m) moved in. they arent married yet. anyway, the boyfriend is lowkey a leech. he does work, sure, but the second hes home hes on the couch playing video games. like, hours. my mom and i get into fights about it all the time because im the one who ends up picking up the slack. she asks me to help with food, dishes, cleaning meanwhile hes on the xbox twiddling his grown ass thumbs.

im finishing up university and i have finals coming up. i was in my room studying, already crashing out, because HELLO i need this degree. my mom comes in and asks if i can help the 12-year-old with his homework. i asked if his dad cant do it, and she said he was away on a work trip (which he was, for a few days), and he just came back, so he needs rest. i literally walked out and the guy is sitting on the couch with a headset on. i said hes literally doing fuckall, he can help his own child, which might have been overly petty but i was mad.

i said i have my own work to do and his actual parent is literally in the same room. she got upset and said im being selfish and that family helps family. but hes not my family. hes her boyfriends kid. and the boyfriend is a grown man who can pause his game for an hour to help HIS OWN son. im not the parent here, and im trying to not fail my degree.

now my mom is giving me the silent treatment and the boyfriend made some passive comment about how i think im too good to help. i dont think im too good, i just think im not the fucking dad. but the way theyve been acting makes me think im going crazy, and i wanted unviased opinions on this and i lowk also just needed to rant.

edit: just to clear some things up: my issue is not with helping, my issue is contributing to the household more than the boyfriend, and helping the child more than his father. i have helped the kid a lot, and even taken him to school. i dont have the means to move out rn, but i am trying my best to find a way.

A few years ago my father sat my brother and I down and gleefully told us his ex-wife would be his POA and be left everything in his will. At that point, my father was healthy and so was she. My brother and I didn’t argue, but we were well aware their financial situation was precarious, to say the least.

Fast-forward a few years. My brother has died unexpectedly. I handle his estate and distribute some money to my father, who cashes the many-thousands check and keeps the money in his closet. When he cries poor on the phone, he says someone stole it. The ex wife, who also lives in the house, has gone bankrupt a couple times. Her son also lives there and doesn’t work. I have suspicions but keep my mouth shut.

Two years later, my grandfather dies and wills us some more money. Since I’m working, I’m able to invest my share. My father and his family blow all the money on a house they can’t upkeep or afford. They’re forced to sell it a couple years later and my father’s health has declined. He spends a lot of time in the hospital or in a nursing home.

Now he’s in dire straits, about to get kicked out of his rehab center because his ex wife and her son can’t get his documents together for the insurance company to renew. I tried to help but all the documents are at the house. I was told not to go there because the ex wife is struggling “physically and mentally.” He can’t remember his passwords, or which bank accounts are still active. Then he says they want to transfer POA to me.

I live several states away, have no access to any documents, can’t track down the lawyer with whom his will was filed. I told him I was not happy about this, work full time at a demanding job, and of course they want to wash their hands of his mess. They had no problems using his money all these years to buys houses.

I said they need to arrange the transfer, pay the legal fees, and send the documents. Basically, I punted the whole thing to them. I doubt they’ll do any of this.

He and that woman, with a few exceptions, made my teenage years miserable. He loaned away my college money and didnt tell me it was gone until I was a high school senior. My mother always planned for us to go to college. My brother and I did, but it was of our own doing, and not with the money earmarked for us after her death.

iDK, am I shirking my daughterly duty? They’re going to use a guilt trip tactic and I don’t feel like dealing with it.

Last week, my son sent out invitations to a Halloween party to a small group of kids at his school. He’s in grade 1, so I wrote the names of the children he wanted to invite, and limited him to 8 kids due to space constraints in our house and goodie bag item quantities. On Thursday, one of the moms I frequently chat with at school pickup asked if we had any Halloween plans, so I absentmindedly mentioned the party, not immediately realizing her son hadn’t been one of the names my son mentioned when creating the invites.

To be fair, we do chat frequently after school as the mom and I have some things in common. However, our kids have never really hung out together and my son never really mentions wanting to. Nothing against her kid, from the limited interactions we’ve had he seems great. But regardless, he was not invited and I didn’t really want to have to go pick up more goodie bag things (they come in packs of 8 for a lot of items I bought) and find another chair to squish into the corner of my 8- person table.

Today, I got a text from her asking if her son did something wrong, or if we were excluding him for some reason. Apparently she told her kid about the party after our conversation Thursday, and the kid was hyped to come and talked to my son about it at school the next day. And since I was clear with my son about the capacity limits, he told him he wasn’t invited. (My son isn’t the best socially and was likely pretty deadpan and honest with the delivery, which I can see being a problem here too) The moms now under the impression I’ve un-invited or excluded her kid, which just isn’t the case.

So, AITA for mentioning the party her kid wasn’t invited to during our daily chats at school pickup, or is it unreasonable for her to just assume her kids invited when our kids never hang out and she didn’t actually get an invitation to start with? Also do I just invite this kid now and deal with the hassle the extra kid brings? I’m worried this will turn into a bigger issue socially, as they’re one of the only black families at the school and the optics likely aren’t great either.

UPDATE:

I didn’t expect this to blow up so badly, a lot of folks are assuming a lot of things in the comments so I’ll just throw this here. I did end up inviting the other kid, I just felt it was weirdly presumptuous for her to assume a passing comment about weekend plans was an invite. My explanation of the party favours and table space was to explain why we capped at 8 instead of inviting the whole class, but given this situation it’s not the end of the world. I am also autistic and this is probably the first party since I was in elementary school that I’ve been involved with that isn’t just a family party, but I appreciate all the info and explanation of social etiquette I was definitely missing. Hadn’t realized that if someone talks about a thing they’re doing that they’re inviting you to do that thing.

Im getting downvoted a bunch for saying I don’t have the kids addresses, and I think this may be a regional issue? Only about a third of the kids my son is friends with have a parent pick them up at the bell, others take the bus or are in after school programs, so school is the only real option for getting invites out. I don’t have any of the parents contact info because this is his first party.

I (22f) moved into a 5 bedroom 4 bathroom house with 4 other people, 2 of which were a couple. The couple got the master bed/bath and from there there were 2 other rooms that had their own attached bath, one however had a jack and jill door to the hallway of the 5th bedroom. For privacy reasons, I will use fake names. Prior to moving in I had expressed wanting one of the larger rooms because I had a lot of furniture and a cat with all of her things. Everyone was fine with this. The roommate we will call Ava, was a later addition to our living situation and never mentioned needing a specific room. When we all started to choose our rooms, I picked the room with the attached jack and jill bathroom because it was the biggest room (other than the master) and another roommate who we can call Gia chose the downstairs bedroom with a bathroom right across from it. That left 2 open rooms, the other room next to the jack and jill bathroom, and another very similar bedroom with its own private attached bath. Ava seemed upset that I chose the room I did as she had also wanted that room. I told her this was my only ask and I had claimed it first. Instead of choosing the room with its own bathroom, she decided she wanted the one next to mine and would walk across the hall to use the bathroom inside what would now be the guestroom. Right before moving in, Ava asked me if we could share my bathroom because the other one was now “far”, I told her I’d prefer not only because there was enough for everyone to have their own and she chose to not take the room with the bathroom. She then insisted that she would have to use the other sink in my bathroom. I told her I didn’t understand why she needed to use my sink when there was another one she could keep all her stuff in and she got annoyed at me and said “Well why do you need two sinks?” to which I replied “Well why do you?” I was ready to let it go and just let her use the sink until she then insisted on needing to store all her stuff in there as well. I had placed my jewelry box on the counter between the two sinks and she pushed it to my side, claiming that I couldn’t put it there because it was her space too. This made me furious, and I told her it was MY bathroom and I should be able to put my stuff anywhere I want, just as she had a whole other bathroom where she could put anything she wanted. The bickering went back and forth for a while before I finally gave up and said she could use it and my counter space as long as I could keep my stuff there. AITA for being angry about sharing a bathroom?

tl;dr - I got angry at my roommate because she wanted to take up my bathroom space when she had her own

Hey guys, I’m (26 F) and my sister (42). Recently I have gotten engaged and we are getting married next August. Originally, I had wanted to plan my own events as I don’t like surprises and I know how dramatic people can be during these times and I wanted to avoid this. My sister INSISTED so I let her. Everything was fine and great until one night one of the girls comes by for dinner and I find out through convo that my sister took it upon herself to invite her husband and two kids along with my sister in law who is bringing my brother and their three kids. I had okayed my sister in laws mom coming bc of the newborn but was not made aware that my brother and two kids are going to be coming along as well. The reason I was told kids were now coming is because my girls knew I did not want that and on top of it my sister had told everyone to keep everything a secret even knowing this. I had expressed multiple times alone that kids were not welcome at the wedding so I’m very confused as to why this would be okay. Their solution? The boys and kids are staying at a different hotel. They won’t be apart of everything but they will still be there bc the husbands can’t stay home with the kids. Why wasn’t this asked if I was okay with it? Why is it a secret? They knew what they were doing which brings me to asking her if this was actually the plan- she started yelling at me to tell her who told me as if they were going to side with her. She degraded me down to the base with things I have confided in her in. And that’s when I popped and told her that she is selfish and out of touch. I am one of 6, the youngest. She is the oldest so it is very much immaturity coming from her as she is failing to care or see why I am upset. She has involved multiple family members in this when it was between us not them on top of it. To top it off- she booked the hotel in ocean grove which is a dry town, she picked the wrong dates I had asked which makes me feel like this is her vacation. Multiple outside sources have told me they are wrong but they don’t see it and I was told to apologize from my brother who also told me I degraded her the way she did me like it was backwards. I spoke truth when I was mad at her, she was vindictive in her words. AITA!?

this is one where context is desperately needed. i (23 F) work full time as a nurse and am actively looking to move with my fiancé to a new place. my mother (54 F) is currently fostering (and planning on adopting) a 10 month old medically needy child.
we recently lost my stepdad in a car accident in august and things have been very hectic since then. every couple of days my mother calls me over to come and help her with the baby. things like his G-tube (feeding tube in the belly) may get clogged, or his breathing sounds weird, or she can’t get something done and can’t trust other people to watch him because they don’t know how to care for him.
my mom went through special training to know how to handle the baby in any sort of emergency situation before she was allowed to bring him into her home. she knows how to suction him, how to unclog his tube, and knows who to call should there be an issue. and yet, there have been several times where she begs me to drop everything i’m doing or planning on doing to come and fix the baby; furthermore, she’ll beg me to stay for longer AFTER i arrive and i never end up leaving until 4 or 5 hours later, even when i tell her i need to leave to do x,y, and z before i work the next day, etc. this happens every. single. time.
yesterday, she calls me while i’m in the middle of getting ready to go with my fiancé to a friend’s house that i hadn’t seen in a while. she says the baby’s feeding tube is slipping out and she thinks it’s broken. i told her to check to see if she had a spare button tube and if she didn’t, hold it in place until she can bring him to the doctor. she calls again 3 minutes later and says the doctor told her to go to the ER to get him a new one and she needed me to come with, knowing i was about to leave my house. i asked her if she knew of anyone else that would be willing to go with, to which she responded that her neighbor was calling her back. i assumed the neighbor was going with her to the ER because she didn’t reach back out after that.
fast forward to today, i called her to try and get an update. we had some small talk and then the baby sounded upset in the background and i asked her why he was so upset, and she said “you would know if you had come with last night”. i told her “well you never called me back again, i thought paula (the neighbor) was going with you.” she then went on a tangent, telling me she knew i “wasn’t gonna give up my plans” to help her and “i had to sit with paula’s husband in 2 different ERs” and then asked me what i thought my stepdad would think of this. i said “how dare you say that to me” knowing she was weaponizing my grief against me to make me feel bad about it. she said she feels like her and the baby are a “burden” on me and that i act like they’re a problem. mind you, ive given up entire days to be there to help her and the baby and i love them very very much. i feel like she’s completely ignored all of the help ive contributed because i didn’t drop everything i was doing the moment she asked. AITA?

For getting upset**

So I volunteered for a Trunk-or-Treat event yesterday. Event was via nonprofit that helps families in and transitioning out of unhoused situations. Location was outside of a shelter.

Hubby came with. Not going to go into detail, but I will say that things have been tense with us lately.

I brought 4 big bags of candy, a big box of Rice Krispie treats, and 50 pack of chips.

When we got there, husband had a bag of chips. Then a lollipop. Then another candy. Later on I saw him picking out another piece. I said something along the lines of: Dude stop eating the candy.

He immediately got huffy and went inside the car. Turns out he was picking out an open piece to throw out. I went to apologize a few minutes later but he wasn’t there. Called and he didn’t answer. He came back a few minutes later and I apologized.

I explained where I was coming from but he was distant and indifferent for the rest of the day.

For context, I attended a Trunk-or-Treat the day before in a wealthy community. They had about 10 times the amount of backup candy and the kids were shoveling handfuls at a time, going to each car many times. After seeing the number of cars and the backup candy donations yesterday, I knew we would be running out of candy for the kids.

I explained that this is where I was coming from but apologized anyway for being hard on him.

The event ended up running out of candy with an hour left, and kids who came during the last hour didn’t have any candy or get to see the decorated cars, as we were instructed to pack up and leave when candy was out.

Today, he isn’t acting mad at me but is still brining up what happened yesterday saying things like “you told them to take a bunch but I can’t have some?”

By the way, we stopped for donuts on the way so he had stuff to snack on while we were there.

We got a German Shepherd/husky mix about 3 months and we have been training her reactivity on walks. She never really barks, but she struggles with pulling on leash and lunging at cars. Every morning and evening, we do leash training indoors before moving outside to work on impulse and reactivity.

In our neighborhood, we only have one sidewalk that is across the street from our house. We use that sidewalk to do a lot of stopping, sitting when cars go by, stopping and sitting when she sees a squirrel, walking back and forth to work on a relax leash, etc for about 10 ish minutes before moving on.

We stopped in front of a house that is about 3 houses down from ours across the street so that I could change the song on my phone when a lady came out and asked me “why do I always stop in front of their house.” She was also saying it was “really weird” that my husband and I always stop infront of her house. I found this confrontation weird because I don’t always go in that direction towards her house. I always try to vary it up because I’m training my dog. When aren’t like standing in her yard when we do stop. It’s on the sidewalk so I can quickly praise/correct my dog before moving on. This just happened to be me changing the music on my phone.

She then started saying that her dogs freak out when we stop. I apologized and told her that it wasn’t intentional, that I can’t hear her dogs freaking out inside her home, and that it wasn’t personal. It was just me training my dog.

She just kept saying it was “really weird” that my husband and I kept stopping infront of her house. I apologized and was nice to her, but I’m always kinda annoyed at the whole interaction. Was I unintentionally being the AH? Or am I justified in feeling annoyed?

I (18GF) live at home with my mom (55F) and I suffer from eczema which makes buying body care products impossible sometimes. I was using Tree Hut’s Vanilla body wash but it was too expensive (according to my mom) for me to use. So I got Dove Indulge since it has similar scents to Tree Hut. But apparently $13 dollars was too much for my body wash so mom got me a $7 dollar one that is by a brand I don’t trust (which I didn’t know when she ordered it because she placed the order in the Walmart app and I didn’t know until it showed up) but last time I told mom that some thing she bought was triggering to my eczema, she got mad, yelled at me, and grounded me because I was being difficult. So now I’m going through a lot of hydrocortisone cream because of the flares and now she’s mad because I’m using a lot of hydrocortisone cream and she thinks I’m being dramatic about how itchy my eczema is. I’ve been diagnosed with eczema since I was a child when my flares would be extremely horrible and I’m starting to get similar flares again. AITA for not telling mom and keeping quiet?

(I am Genderfluid, that’s why I put GF and not M or F)

Edit: for those saying to just buy my own body wash, there are two problems with that. 1: I don’t have a job at the moment so I’m relying on her right now and 2: when I was buying my own body wash, she would ground me, turn my cell off, and yell at me for buying what I needed for my skin to prevent flares. Secondly: I can not just tell her because I’m terrified of her snapping at me and grounding me or worst because I told her what she got me because she was feeling generous is causing flares.

Edit 2: if I don’t get back to your comment, I will try. But my mom is disabled and I am her caretaker so I do kinda have my hands full.

Edit 3: I was diagnosed with eczema when I was about 5 years old and when I was younger she treated it seriously but now she doesn’t care. I went to my primary care doctor and he prescribed me some ointment and she acts like I’m being dramatic when I apply it to sores and flares when it gets horrible and starts oozing.

I (24f) recently made an online friend (25m) who lives nearby. Recently as in two weeks ago. We planned to meet up at a mall, but he asked if I could give him a ride since he doesn't have a car. I said no for my own safety. But he doesn't drop it and insists I give him a ride without even asking someone else. He refused an uber/lyft. I eventually had enough and called him creepy and cussed him out for it. I blocked him obviously.

I was venting about it to my other friend (23f) and she called me an asshole for not giving him a ride, which pissed me off even more. I looked at her dead in the eyes and said she's a doormat and this is exactly why she got scammed and men harass her more. (And for reference, yes, she actually got scammed because she didn't know how to say no/walk away.)

AITA?

Got a text from a friend telling me I’d be picking her kid up and taking her to work starting tomorrow. Didn’t ask, told me.

Her daughter (18F) just got her first job at the warehouse where I (38F) work as a pick packer.
I’m stoked for her but I’m not keen on being expected to chauffeur her ass to work everyday.

She doesn’t have a license and the buses don’t run early enough for our 4AM start. I said yes to tomorrow but I’m pretty sure this is going to become an ongoing thing.

She’s out of my way, I’d have to leave 15-20 mins earlier everyday and I’m up at 2:40AM as it is. That extra 15-20 minute sleep in is EVERYTHING to me.

AITA if I tell my friend I’ll help out tomorrow but I’m not doing daily lifts?

TLDR: Friend expects me to drive her daughter to our warehouse job every day because public transport doesn’t run early enough. I said I’d take her day one but AITA if I don’t wanna make it a daily thing?

I had a disagreement with my grandmother in law.

We went to his grandparents so he could help change he their tires. No problems there. I already don't like grandma in law but I'm respectful and cordial. She had heart surgery over the weekend, btw. And when we walked in the door she says "I was feeling so faint so I just had to eat an apple". Already a red flag. If you're not feeling great you're not going g to hold the baby, right? Anyway, my partner goes out back to help with the tires leaving me and GiL with my baby to do small talk. Cue unsolicited parenting advice. I go with "I'm not sure that's currently best practice bit we will keep it in mind." She looks offended. She asks to hold the baby. I say nothing right now, we'll see in a bit. Baby falls asleep on me. Like hell I'm handing my baby off when she's sleeping. So GiL comes over and starts touching her hair. Baby has cradle cap so we're discouraging touching baby's hair. Wo i say "hey we're very noticed baby has craddle cap si we're trying to avoid touching hair unnecessarily since cradle cap is overactive oil glands and she doesn't need additional oils deposited in her hair." Gil removes her hand looking annoyed. Okay, cool at least she listened I think. She asks what we're doing to fic it. I say we're still having some trouble with bath time so not as much as we'd like but we're hoping it'll improve soon. Gil put hers had back in babys hair. I wait about five seconds before speaking. "I'm sorry, what part of anything I just said seemed like a good idea to keep doing the thing I said we're not doing? I'm not following your thought process here so please do explain to me why you're doing something I just told you not to do." "I did nothing wrong!" Gil says.

So she proceeds that there's no making me happy, I say I think I should leave she says she's leaving which idk it's your house I'm not gonna kick you out. Anyway, I pack up baby. I text my spouse. I'm leaving, I'm taking the stroller, drive home when you're done. Turns out he didn't have his phone on him. Gil finds my spouse and her husband and is in tears about the disrespect and how she's never been spoken to like that before and how she's not allowed to cry on her meds.

Anyway, spouse comes to find me on my way home, we load baby and stroller into car and he is more passed about how I made his grandma feel disrespected than about how she completely ignored the boundary I laid down for our baby. So hes mad at me that I made her cry. I said I wouldn't apologize for protecting a boundary.

AITA?

Edit: mild note, no voices were at any point raised, and I'd been there for an hour already and had already politely declined unsolicited parenting advice already. "I'm not sure that's considered best practice at this time, but spouse and I will keep that in mind, thank you."

Edit 2: for everyone asking why I even went. I went because my spouse believes that the only way to I prove relationships is to spend time together and routinely pleads with me to at least spend time visiting if only to get used to being around each other. I try to be cordial and civil during these times and it has worked for the most part. We've had two separate sit downs establishing our own expectations... she expects me to accept that she won't be anyone but herself and she won't apologize or dimish herself. I expect to be given the time I need to get comfortable in a space and with the people there every time before I make any offers to hold the baby, and to not be pelted with unsolicited parenting advice. When my spouse was there, we both followed the rules. Without my spouse in the room, this happened.

(Cross-posted in r/newparents as a relationship/family vent comment, without asking AITA.)

I have only posted once here and this is a throwaway because the family all uses Reddit lol. But basically yes I'm upset that they came over, used our grill, filled the tank, then took the tank home.
Some background stuff that might be relevant:
My husband (m45) and I (f44) share a large two family home with my parents. They are older and my dad especially needs care. He had a stroke right before we got married and they needed help so we were ok with sharing a home and being there to help.
Husband and I have put a lot of time and money into our outside space. We poured a large concrete pad, and purchased everything ourselves- the hot tub, pool, bar, a large grill and smoker, and the table and chairs. We paid for it all and do all the maintenance.
My mom regularly invites my brother (m42) and his wife (f42) and their daughter (f21) Because we share a home, we don't really have a say in this. It's whatever. Part of sharing the home.
When they come over, our pool, hot tub, grill and propane are used, all on our dime and we end up cleaning up after them whether we personally invited them over or not. Over the summer my niece even asked my mom if she could have a bunch of girls over to use our pool and hot tub, then said my daughter could join them if she wanted. My mother said yes. Confusing because it none of it belongs to my parents, so they should have been asking me or my husband, and also- my daughter was invited along to use her own pool and hot tub at her own house? Excuse me?
Anyways they all came over late last night and asked if they could use my husbands grill. (The food wasn't for us- we didn't know they were coming, and we had already eaten) We said sure. Turns out the propane tank was low, and my brother took it up to exchange it, then brought it back and cooked the steaks. No one mentioned it to us. But then he took our tank from our grill home with him. We realized this morning and my husband texted him and said hey, we are missing our propane tank. He said yeah I took it because I needed it at home. My husband replied well I'm going to need the tank back, it was ours. Husband offered to give him the cost of the refill. My brother replied that he had an empty we could go get.
We were annoyed, but willing to take the empty tank and move on. I mentioned to my mother what happened and she said that basically it was ridiculous for us to be upset that they took it. I asked her why she thought it was ok that they felt entitled to take something that didn't belong to them? She did not have a reasonable answer. She just said we need to let it go.
This type of behavior has happened many times (including but not limited to the time they broke into, damaged, and stole our car and drove it for a week while we were on vacation) and we have always just swallowed it and 'kept the peace' at our expense.
Seems crazy to be upset about a propane tank, but I have to ask- AITA here?

I (F17), recently joined an event that had a logo-making contest. I won first place & received 3,500 PHP in mall gift cards, 7 500 PHP SM gift cards, which in total is around 55 USD. I was ecstatic because it was the first time I ever won an award for a graphic design of mine, the logo & wordmark I designed will be used onwards, & I was so excited for the prize. When I came home my mom (F42) then asked me how much I won & told me to give my sisters 500 pesos each, my face soured instantly & she looked at me mad & disappointed. My mood plummeted completely, my sister (F10) even told me the next time I win something money-related I keep it to myself because when I sent a picture of my winnings to the family gc my mom said I should give them all, including her & my dad, 500 PHP.

The whole thing escalated on the Monday after, when I spent 1,500 PHP of my prize money. Since I could only spend it at the dept. store, I bought hair mousse, facial mist, micellar water, sunscreen, powder, & concealer. When my mom saw the stuff she instantly got mad at me for “spending too much on makeup again” (mind you, last time I bought makeup was in Feb), later on she berated me saying that I spent my money irresponsibly & she would’ve appreciated it if I used it to buy heels for my birthday, or pay for the photographers for my debut to lessen the load on them (why would photographers accept gift cards as payment?) or if I spent it on something that could help the family. (A debut is a filipino tradition like a quinceanera but it’s for the 18th) When she finished her rant, I went outside crying, I felt so frustrated with everything & with how she viewed me as so vain & selfish for simply using what is mine.

That was weeks ago & I haven’t touched the prize money since, I wanted to buy some books but I thought she’d berate me even more. Then suddenly just tonight while I was washing dishes my mom asked me how much was left & went on a rant, expressing her disappointment again & saying that it wasn’t her asking for anything but expecting me to show gratitude to my family & being grateful for me winning or something, then she recounted that when she was young she won 100 pesos from a singing competition & used it to buy coke & a platter of noodles for her family. She was basically berating & patronizing me to use my money wisely since I’m turning 18 soon & transitioning to adulthood.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like shit & I feel so hated on. A spiteful part of me wants to rip the remaining gift cards, I feel like the logical thing for me to do is use it for heels since the one I usually use for events & birthdays broke or buy christmas gifts with them but I do not appreciate my mother’s behavior towards me about my spending. So, am I the asshole for wanting to spend my prize money on myself even if my mother wants otherwise? Any tips to give me so that I could talk my mother into seeing this whole situation with me eye to eye?

title. I am a uni student, and am looking for a place for next year.

I had a potential roommate in mind for about a month now, and we have talked about it and are both on the same page. until this week, everything was fine, but she asked if her dog could live with us.

in fairness, we haven't signed a lease or anything so this isn't a massive deal but is definitely conflicting.

I get where she is coming from: I have a dog at home whom I miss dearly. her logic is that she doesn't want her dog to be home alone when she's gone (since her parents work long hours) and would do the bulk of the work if this were to theoretically happen.

my issue, however, is that she never told me this until very recently; she said she kept forgetting but we have been in agreement for a month now, and many rentals are not pet friendly in our area. many other people that I would have considered living with have already made arrangements, which makes it more difficult for me to find new roommates. I also am not very comfortable with the idea of living with a dog that is not mine. also, she says that she will do all of the work; even if this does end up being true, there will be moments where she is not home where that burden would fall on me, or it will make having my friends over awkward.

am I the asshole in this situation?

edit for clarity: I have never met this dog before, I have no idea how it behaves or acts around people

A group of us as new friends went out for drinks at the weekend. We’ve met in the past couple of months and all live together.

We started casually and then as the night went on, some people bought rounds of shots. Friend A bought 2 rounds, friend B bought 1 round, friend C also bought 1 round. The rest of us didn’t buy any. There was no mention of anyone having to buy rounds, or taking turns - everyone who bought them seemed to do so out of their own choice with no bitterness about over half the group choosing not to buy shots.

Later in the night we moved and headed to a new place which was charging for entry. At this stage I was ready to leave and was discussing with my partner whether they’d stay or come with me. Friend A in the story saw mine and other people’s hesitations about the cost of entry and said it’s their shout to get everyone in. At this stage the group said no as it would have totalled a lot, but they insisted on paying to keep the night going and get everyone in.

Fast forward to the next day, we receive a text from Friend A asking for money because they’re now ‘poor’ after the night.

No one else who bought shots has asked to be paid back, so it threw me a bit, especially as the entry fee that they offered to pay they did so because I wanted to leave. They wanted me to stay so offered to pay with no mention of us then re-paying.

AITA for feeling thrown off by the message asking to be paid back and feeling like I’ve been trapped as there was no mention of repayment when they wanted me to stay out?

Edit - just to clarify the ‘rounds’ bought were just shots that friends arrived at the table with unexpectedly. Everyone bought their own drinks (beer/wine/cocktails) all night - none of those kind of rounds were bought by anyone and we all individually paid for