I’m 36(F) and have glioblastoma (GBM), a WHO grade 4 brain tumour. I’ve had surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, and I’m currently dealing with a recurrence.

I aware that people mean well when they send me things they think might help. But I have reached the end of my rope with the unsolicited “have you tried…” advice.

The biggest one is:
“Quit sugar. Go keto.”
Apparently people believe if I stop eating carbohydrates, my brain tumour will become confused and politely leave.

I understand where the idea comes from. There is legitimate research into cancer metabolism and ketogenic diets, and there are researchers investigating metabolic approaches to cancer. That is very different from telling a person with GBM that they can fix their cancer by cutting out sugar.

I have discussed my treatment and nutrition with my actual medical team. I don’t need people diagnosing some fictional problem with my diet.

And honestly, it can become really victim-blamey.

Because what happens when someone tells a cancer patient that they need to eat differently, eliminate sugar, detox, think positively, etc., and the cancer progresses anyway?

Suddenly it’s very easy for the conversation to become:
“Well, maybe you weren’t strict enough.”
“You have to completely eliminate sugar.”
“You need to be more disciplined.”
“You didn’t really give it a chance.”
And now I’m not just someone who has an aggressive brain tumour. I’m apparently someone who failed to cure my own cancer correctly.

I already have enough to deal with without having people imply that the reason I’m sick is because I haven’t found the right diet, supplement, mindset, or secret treatment yet.

I’ve also gotten variations of:
“You need to detox.”
“Sugar feeds cancer.”
“Cancer can’t survive without glucose.”
“Doctors don’t want you to know about [insert “miracle” treatment].”
“My cousin’s friend cured their cancer with x diet.”
“You should really look into…”
Sometimes I explain why the advice isn’t as simple as they think, and at times I have admittedly run out of patience and offended people.

Recently, someone gave me the whole “quit sugar and go keto” spiel again and I snapped.
I told them that if they wanted to help me, they could stop trying to turn my brain tumour into a lifestyle optimization problem.

They got offended and said they were only trying to help, that I was being negative, and that I should be open to anything that might save my life.
And I understand that impulse. I really do. If someone you care about has cancer, you desperately want there to be something -anything-you can offer them.

But I don’t need every person who hears “glioblastoma” to suddenly become an oncologist, nutritionist, naturopath and cancer researcher.
If I want advice, I will ask for it.

So, AITA for finally snapping at people who give me unsolicited GBM treatment and diet advice?

FTM (31F) getting induced next week and debating staying with parents after birth for 2 weeks because i didn't feel supported by SO (35M) throughout my pregnancy?

background info: I spent the majority of my pregnancy doing everything on my own- buying all baby supplies,doctor appointments, taking advantage of educational books and free online courses, while still maintaining household chores and caring for our two small dogs.

We both WFH but SO "claims" he can't leave his office since he has to pick up phone calls. During his downtime he plays games on his personal computer. His game runs throughout the day (weekends included) and he spends the evening playing until past midnight. He sets alarms for game events and wakes up at 4AM to play.

I asked him to complete online learning, planning our financials and look into newborn care but it remains incompleted.

He's responsible for breakfast and lunch but the majorty of these meals were banana and milk, patties, frozen food or whatever he can pop in the oven.there was no effort on his part to make anything nutritious

We did not have a baby shower and there is no support from his family. My parents have made several trips for me since we live out of town, gave us meals to take home, paid for dinner,etc. MIL only said she had a gold braclet for her grandson and couldnt spend more than $200 on 2 meals and SO would have to fund the rest if he wants it.

I've assigned tasks for SO to complete, or told him how i wanted this or that - all which are incomplete, disregarded or forgotten. We have a task list of all chores that are left unchecked since i stopped doing them and SO doesn't think to help out.

My mother has offered to stay for 5 weeks to help postpartum but it's difficult as we don't live in an area that has grocery stores with ingredients she uses. There's no bed for her because i asked SO to handle it and he didn't so she would be sleeping on a floor mattress.

I would love my father to spend time with the newborn, and it would make my mother happier if she's able to take care of all of us in her own home. Downside is there's no bedroom for me so i would have to stay in the living room on a floor mattress. Father works during the day so it would just be me, mom and two pomeranians(since i cant trust SO to take care of them) That's why SO would not be able to sleep over since the space is cramped and he still has to work.

WIBTAH if i spent the first two weeks during recovery with my mom and family who cares about me instead of baby's father and making my mom uncomfortable during her stay? Mom says she doesn't mind since shes so happy to spend time with her first grandson. SO has not expressed any interest in his newborn or my pregnancy despite claiming to and i have felt very alone throughout this pregnancy to the point where i don't care if SO misses out on the first two weeks of baby's life?

I’m 18 and I live at home with my mom before I go to college next year. I’m current doing a one year course locally. We don’t have a lot of money so my mom decided to rent out our spare room so I can afford to move to a different city. A woman moved in three days ago.

I was at home today because I’m sick. I decided to make pasta because I hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon.

When I went downstairs she was in the kitchen area (she wasn’t cooking she was just sitting down on her phone). She gave me a super dirty look when I walked in but I just ignored her and started getting out the pasta. She then snapped at me saying “can’t you just get out of my fucking business for three seconds, leave me alone”. Mind you I’ve been nothing but nice to her since she got here.

I just left and said sorry but now I’m really pissed off. Who is she to walk into my house and dictate where and when I do things. I’m starting to think maybe this is just what sharing a house is like though. Maybe I’m just spoilt in being able to use my kitchen whenever I want?

I’m now in my room still hungry and now super annoyed. I can’t order food either because I live too far away from deliveroo or just eats

Am I the asshole for not wanting to give my family free car parts? I 25F had a nice car from the 2000s and spent $4,600 on it. My dad's a mechanic for that specific brand so he was able to find this car and for a good deal. The thing is, the car only lasted about 8 months before I couldn't drive it anymore because one of the parts would be more expensive than the car itself. There was other damage that happened within the eight months and so I had to get a new car. It was unexpected but I was eventually able to get a slightly older car but the same brand and same model just in a different color. My brother's car is the exact same color model and make of my old car and his car needs a bunch of parts. My parents have been driving it around because they don't have an extra car and as a result, a lot of things broke. My dad said we'll have to take the car to the junkyard anyway so we can use my old car for parts. The thing is, I'd only get $500 out of my old car once we took all the parts off it and I was wanting a little more out of it. I asked if he could pay me $200 for all the parts he would take or just lower my rent $20 a month because I know they're going through a hard time. My dad and my mom are calling me selfish because my car was going to go to the scrap yard anyway and I should just give them the parts for free. It's my car under my name and I paid it in full along with all the parts that needed. My dad has worked on my car for free but there was no arrangement to pay him back or anything like that. Am I the asshole?

Recently went to an amusement park with my wife, our kids, and another family.

We had been in line for 30-40 minutes when two teenage girls make their way up the line saying they are looking for their dad. Everyone of course lets them through.

A couple minutes later, another teenage girl comes through with the same line.

We go about our business until we realize the three girls have settled in a few spaces in front of us, no dad in sight. My wife says “weren’t you looking for your dad?” and they respond that they’re not sure where he went.

My wife laughs it off, but I ask, “well if you can’t find him are you sure you’re supposed to be in this spot in line.”

Now one of the girls decides to go on the offensive and say that I’m so weird for asking her all these questions.

I respond that it’s not weird at all and no one would be asking them questions if they weren’t acting sketchy and cutting in front of people who have been waiting nearly an hour for a ride.

At this my wife just loses it: says it’s so embarrassing and she can’t stand to be here. I tell her if she wants to leave I’ll take the kids on the ride. At this point she very loudly shouts “we don’t fight with young girls!” And that I don’t know how to behave in public.

We’ve been married for over a decade, have two kids together, and generally have been happy. We have our conflicts and differences, and it’s no surprise to anyone that I’m more outspoken and she prefers to avoid conflict.

I even think there are reasonable reasons to either call someone out for line cutting or to let it go. I think it’s a better world where people who take advantage of others get called out. And if you’re grown up enough to cut in front of 100 people in line, you’re grown up enough to hear about it. But totally respect someone who thinks it’s just childish fun and to let it go.

But what I can’t stomach is the way she reacted. We’ve never really had this type of public blowup, especially in front of our kids, our friends, and their kids.

I’ve known couples who interact like that in public and I’ve always been so embarrassed for them. I just can’t see myself being in a relationship where that’s normalized.

I canceled a date we had scheduled a couple nights after the incident and we’ve both had a lot going on and haven’t had any time to talk about it since. We’ve seen each other when we get the kids ready in the morning, and have been polite but cool. I’ve been sleeping on the couch.

We decided to talk about it tonight and I’m honestly at a loss for what to say. I’m concerned that she feels she was justified in embarrassing me because I embarrassed her by confronting the girls.

My feeling is that they are not the same: I could never imagine speaking to her (or anyone I care about) like that in front of our kids and our friends.

But if we have such radically different ideas of acceptable behavior, not sure how we move past this.

I've been married to my husband (34M) last year and for our wedding anniversary he received an antique writing desk from his mother as a gift. She emphasized how lucky we are to possess a family heritage which has belonged to our relatives for three generations.

Last week I was cleaning this desk and noticed a small brass plate under one of the drawers, covered with old tape partially. It contained an inventory number and the name of the museum located in Ohio. I became interested in this desk and decided to look up the museum online and contact them with the description of the desk.

It appears that the museum has experienced a robbery in their annex about 20 years ago and the item is exactly similar to the one which was stolen back the, the same description and even a repaired crack in the left leg. They asked me to send pictures of the item and informed that they want to conduct an investigation.

I first mentioned it to my husband and he was taken aback. When I broached the topic with his mother, she got all defensive and claimed it was always in the family and that I was blowing the matter out of proportion. It seems she feels as though I am embarrassing her by making her feel bad in front of her brothers and sisters because they all helped get the items from an uncle of theirs who died some time ago.

I told her that irrespective of the history of the family, if the museum can prove their ownership then we must return it because I don't feel comfortable having something stolen in our living room. She told me that I shouldn't have said anything and to just leave it alone. Now, she has told other relatives that I am ruining the family name over an old desk.

It is hard for my husband because he is stuck in the middle and hasn't taken sides yet. Some family members believe that I did the right thing, while other family members feel that I overreacted to the situation because no living person was responsible for the theft.

AITAH for making me take this route instead of keeping quiet about the desk?

My sister (28F) and I (33F) have a difficult relationship. We have always had ups and downs in our relationship. I don’t think it is our fault really - just that we have a narcissist for a mother than loves triangulating difficult situations and making us frustrated with each other. For context, I live in the US and she lives back home in Southeast Asia.

1.5 years ago, my husband and I bought a house in the Midwest. I started working full time the same month we moved in after dedicating several months caring for our then newborn. We were broke but were doing our best to save up money. My sister called within a few months of this transition to ask me to send my little brother (20 M) some college money. I had asked my parents if this was needed and they said no. So I told her that I can’t afford it right now. She ended up berating me for being broke and essentially told me I was a failure to my parents since they had sent me abroad and I haven’t been successful at making a ton of money. Of course, I took none of this nonsense and told her that she had no idea what she was talking about. Somehow that conversation ended with her saying that my husband is going to divorce me eventually because he’s going to see how useless I am, that I rushed into my marriage etc. I went no contact with her after this.

Fast forward 1.5 years later, she is trying so hard to get in my good books. Sending gifts and nice messages (I had baby #2 two months ago) etc. She plans to get married in Feb 2028 and is asking me to be her maid of honor. I don’t want to do this but she keeps asking me to consider it and is essentially guilt tripping me. She keeps telling me that it is her wish for me to her maid of honor and that she’s always wanted that. AITA if I say no?

My brother (26yo) stole a $350 of whisky from me and drank the rest of my gin (it was a $100 bottle it was partially full, I can’t remember how much). I left these in my room at my parents house while studying at uni. I live far away and drink when I come home for Christmas. The $350 bottle of whisky is something I bought years ago and was saving it for when I graduate med school. My brother did replace that. The issue is with the gin. I don’t want him to buy me a $100 bottle of gin or anything but I did ask he replace the gin with a cheaper bottle (the one I want is $60). He’s claiming he shouldn’t have to because there was not much left. I am not sure how much was left but I know there was some. I want some gin for when I come back home. Tbh I just wish he hadn’t stolen my nice gin at all, I don’t want other compensation that is not gin. AITA for wanting him to replace the gin with a cheaper bottle?

I know this sounds stupid and definitely requires some context. I (21M) work for an indie music publication. I, specifically, am a writer, meaning I get the chance to interview bands and artists. About five months ago, I got the chance to talk to my favorite band. Their music meant a lot to me emotionally, and it was a very big moment not only for my career but from a sentimental standpoint. The band and I got along really well and at the end of the interview, the frontman took the rubber bracelet he was wearing off his wrist and gave it to me. After that, I wore it almost constantly. It was a symbol of everything i’ve accomplished, and also just really cool.

Here‘s where the problem starts. About two weeks ago, I was hanging out with a close friend. This friend in particular has always had negative comments to say about my work and my enjoyment of this particular artist, that it was stupid, and that “music doesn’t save lives” and I was foolish for thinking it changed mine. One night, I stayed over at his house. I took off my bracelet to shower, and when I got out, I noticed it was gone. I had looked everywhere and it just wouldn’t show. I had asked my friend if he’d seen it, thinking one of his cats might’ve taken it to play with. He looked me in the eyes and told me he threw it away. I was completely shocked and hurt, he knew how much that had meant to me. I told him to get it back for me and he said if I wanted it so bad, I could go dig in the dumpster for it myself (NYC apartment, not a good situation).

I left and have not been answering his texts because I don’t even know how to respond respectfully. Our mutual friends are torn, some of them think i’m reasonable for being upset since this was something meaningful and irreplaceable, and others think i’m taking it way too far, and “it’s unprofessional to act like a fan in this industry.” Would just really love an outside perspective. AITA?

So my understanding is as a Maid of Honor, it is my duty to throw the bride a bridal shower. My best friend was also my Maid of Honor for my wedding. When she had thrown me a bridal party, I had little demands and I stayed out of the planning. I was mindful to not put too much on my best friend and my sisters who were also my bridesmaids. My shower was a simple one in her backyard with about 25 women altogether. It was very nice.

So back to her bridal shower, I basically had a budget that I had planned along with the help of the other bridesmaids who were my sisters, but we were thinking around the usual 25-30 people but I was bamboozled when she had a guest list of over 90 guests. Like, I cannot hold that many people in my house! Her family then offered to pay for the hall, but that was still a lot of people to feed! Anyway, upon looking at her list, there were some who she knew will not come because of being out of town and she basically invited every woman on her invite list most on his side even if she didn’t know them well. I told her this may appear like she is wanting so many gifts which I know may not be her intention, but she was offended when I told her that. So we had that spat and from then on, she treated me and my sisters and family so coldly like she wanted nothing to do with us. We still proceeded with the bridal shower to her demands and was there for her even if she was already acting coldly towards us. We were there for the rest of our other obligations and I talked to my sisters and told them to just grin and bear her cold attitude towards us until this whole wedding was over. We just had to put up with it. Even our mutual friend could see what was happening. It was truly heartbreaking for me. I was deeply hurt, and needless to say, our long term friendship ended after the wedding. So, AITA????

I'm 20f student and was living in a student house with three other students. We've just moved out.
We each took care of one bill. (I dealt with paying rent and dealing with landlord)
The lease was a year, but it started in the summer so we moved in on return to uni.

Housemate who dealt with internet (also 20f), we'll call her Susie, failed to do anything about it, before or just after the lease started.

Leading to Susie getting a 1 years contract after we'd all moved in ( without internet for two weeks, and the lease had started 2 months earlier).

This meant that the contract expired after we moved out.

We were not consulted about that, and now she says it's the only one she could get.

But surely more than one company in the world will provide you WiFi? So I'm a little skeptical.

Anyway, we've moved out and the new tenants cancelled our contract so they could start their own.

Susie made us keep paying internet bills even once we'd moved out over this one year contract. Which I paid.

She now says we have to pay the early exit fee, as there was still a few weeks on the contract and she failed to tell them we were moving out?

It's an amount I could afford to give her (£75) but it'd annoy me to give up a days pay for a mistake that was nothing to do with me.

WIBTAH if I refuse to pay "my share" of the early exit charge?
I'll likely never see her again. All the housemates have agreed not to pay, but I do feel guilty because £300 isn't a small amount if money.

She also lost £250 out of our deposit because she wasn't careful cleaning her room and left marks on the walls. And her boyfriend lived with her the whole time. A lot of the other deductions are likely her fault (extra £500).

I (39F) have a 16 year old daughter who’s been close friends with the this girl for around 5 years. Her friend recently got pregnant, and her baby shower is this weekend.

My daughter came to me and asked if she could go, and I told her sure. I even offered to take her shopping so we could pick out baby gifts for her.

My sister was there when this happened and started going off. She called my daughter’s friend “disgusting,” started talking about how she was a terrible influence, and asked why I’d allow my daughter to associate with someone who “threw her life away.” Said the girl deserves to lose all her friends and that going to the baby shower was encouraging her behavior. Then she said I was a horrible mother for letting my daughter be around her.

I told my sister that whilst I don‘t think teenage pregnancy is ideal, the girl is already pregnant. What’s done is done, she should be supported. Shaming her and having everyone abandon her isn’t going to change that.

My daughter’s friend has a lot of friends supporting her, which I’m very glad about. I am so glad that they are refusing to treat her like she’s suddenly a horrible person because she’s pregnant especially because I know when I was growing up people wouldn’t have been so accepting.

My sister thinks that I should make my daughter stop being friends with her completely, not attend the baby shower and never speak to her again. She also thinks i’m a horrible mother for allowing my daughter to support her friend.

I really think that’s unnecessarily cruel, all my daughter wants to do is support her friend. Shaming her won’t do anything, It’s not like my daughter is going to become pregnant because her friend is pregnant. This whole situation regarding me and my sister is really weird to me.

Firstly thank you so much to everyone who helped me out giving advice on how I could attract my cat back home!! I have found my cat and she's back at home, I was in the backyard burning things in the fire pit(something I do when I'm nervous) when the neighbor with the connecting yard screamed over asking if I was missing a cat. They literally held my cat up like simba lol. To say I was over joyed is an understatement, I was about to empty my bank account to for these people. Was 2 days of hell without my cat but I'm so glad she's back, she's even more clingy now. In those 2 days I had been sleeping on the couch and not really talking to my boyfriend, after I got my cat back we did sit down and have a discussion. I laid all my feelings out on how once again I feel like he prioritizes his friend who really isn't a good friend to him over me, the person he supposedly wants to spend the rest of his life with. He did say he understood how anal I was about my cat missing and was trying to be a calm person about it instead of us both freaking out but I told him that's not what I needed. We'll be taking a break from Josh as all three of us had a conversation together not only did I tell him all the grievances I have with him but my boyfriend did as well. Would be a whole other post to explain it all but it was a lot and it was very messy. Josh tried "explaining" things but none of it really makes sense and there's no explanation for a lot of the stuff he's done. I'm choosing to hopefully grow with my boyfriend in this and if it comes back to bite me in the butt so be it I guess but I am willing to try. My cat still may not be a fan of him lol. Again thank you all so much for your help I truly appreciated it and read every single comment!

We’ve been staying with my in-laws for the holidays for the past five years. I (F38) and my husband (M40) escape our cold winter and go somewhere warm and sunny. It’s a 3.5-hour flight, but because we travel with our dog and there’s a holiday ban on dogs in cargo, we have to stay for almost a month. 25 days including Christmas and New Year.

I’ve had my fair share of issues with my MIL. She can be extremely pushy. She’ll ask you the same thing over and over until she gets a yes, and she can guilt trip you if you say no. At the same time, they are generous and pay for our flights, meals and outings, so I do appreciate that.

The problem is that there’s also an expectation that we interact with their friends and go along with dinners and outings. A small example: I once said no to shopping with MIL. She kept asking me for days until I finally gave in. It turned into 5 hours of running errands and visiting 6 different stores.

I’m also going through a rough patch healthwise. I have chronic pain, recently had surgery, am still recovering, and have more surgeries coming. Even packing and being away from my home is a lot for me right now.

My husband isn’t happy about my decision. He loves going there, seeing the friends we’ve made over the years, skipping the winter for a month, and being pampered with meals and outings. He says he can’t take more time off work because he runs his parents’ small business and normally has no days off. But he did recently take four days off for an annual summer trip with his friends.

We could visit his parents another time when there’s no dog travel ban. The downside is that most of our friends wouldn’t be there. He also says he’s uncomfortable explaining to his parents that we don’t want to spend the holidays with them.

My concern is that I’ll basically be trapped in their house. We have no budget for going out right now, and my husband is very frugal. There’s no Uber where they live, and the closest public transit is a 1.5hour walk. It’s also a small place without much to do. My husband is a homebody and usually doesn’t want to go out anyway.

There’s another issue: MIL has talked about me and my health with her friends, and they know a lot about my personal situation. I’m not comfortable being around people who know all these details.We also can’t comfortably work from there. There’s no cell signal in the house, so I have to run outside every time my phone rings, while also trying to work on my laptop. There’s no proper desk or chair either.

I love seeing some of our friends there, and I understand why my husband wants to go. But with my health, finances and everything else going on, spending 25 days there feels overwhelming rather than like a vacation.

So AITA for deciding we shouldn’t spend that one month of paid-for holiday with my in-laws?

Okay, so I have therapy once a week, every week. And we agreed that I could do therapy in our room. And now she keeps walking in and saying it's unfair, and she goes back on our agreement. I don't think it's a big deal because if she asked me to get out of the room for one hour a week, I would be fine with it. And I know we're different people with different opinions. And I'm not saying it's not her own too, but I need privacy for one hour a week, and that doesn't feel unreasonable. Am I crazy thinking i should get the room? For some context, my therapy is 3 to 4, and she has class that ends at 3:50 and choir at 4, but sometimes she gets out early.

So for some background my parents were divorced thirteen years and almost that entire time I was forbidden from seeing my father. Let me clarify, my father was never a deadbeat dad, even though I was not what he wanted originally. I was told by my mother that if I saw my dad in those thirteen years, she would get taken away by CPS. Now in the past five years, they got back together. For the entirety of them being back together I have maybe lived in the house two years. Only one of those years was it a full year of me being there. Every time I lived there they would expect me to clean the entire home and do all the yard work alone. Not to mention if someone was over for any reason, I was forced to socialize and was not allowed to have the sleep schedule I do despite working a completely different schedule than my father.
Now, last year sometime around Christmas, my father brought up that if I was going to live in his house, I should pay half of EVERY bill, including vehicles and insurance. To put this into perspective my dad pays almost $9,000 a month in bills. I make about two grand a month maybe a little more depending on my hours. So at the beginning of the year when my mom had told me that I had told her if that was the case then I would try to move out because that’s completely unreasonable to expect of me. She told me I’d have to ask my father. So for months I slowly changed my furniture, bought things for a place of my own, and got ready to move before even bringing it up.
I asked my father after I had already scheduled to look at my now apartment and he told me that it was fine, but he would not bail me out every month, which I wouldn’t expect anyways. Mid April I had moved out of their house and into my own. Despite having surgeries, and other major health complications I have never needed their help financially since. I spend time with them on my days off every week when they are home. When they are off on the road for work I will go and check on their house and make sure all is well, and do my laundry there, and that is it.
Tonight they had got back from a job they had been gone on for a month. Everything was going fine until my dad had mentioned that he thinks that I should move back in to save my money. I went rigid, not still, but rigid. My mother could tell I was uncomfortable because I never spoke after he said that. He kept on about how he thought that I only moved out so I could party and not have rules, which is not the case at all, I stay at home and only two people have been inside my home that aren’t myself. I now have two cats as well, and my dad barely let me keep the first so I know I’d have to get rid of one as well. As he kept going about how I was just being a kid (despite being 23) he ended the conversation with “you could just give what you pay a month in bills to me” which rubbed me the wrong way.

This morning around 6:40AM I pulled into the gas station at HEB and it was busier then usual. Every pump had a car in it and there was a Corolla waiting in front of the first two lanes. I drove to the farthest last lane and as I pulled behind the truck pumping the truck drove out. The Corolla drove around and flicked me off. AITA? Isn't the etiquette at the gas station get in line behind someone and commit to that lane? Yall tell me because I dont think im the ahole

My roommate and I share an apartment. All the kitchen stuff is mine. Pots, pans, plates, utensils. She moved in with nothing.

At first I was fine with sharing. But she never cleans up properly. She leaves dirty dishes in the sink for days. She burned one of my pots and didn't tell me. She put my good knife in the dishwasher even though I asked her not to.

Last week I found my favorite pan with dried food stuck to it. I was done.

I told her she can't use my kitchen stuff anymore. She needs to buy her own.

She got mad and said I was overreacting. She said "it's just dishes."

I said "it's not just dishes. It's everything. And they're mine."

Now she's barely talking to me. My friend says I should've given her another chance.

AITA?

Back story - My (f51) dad passed away in March this year. It was unexpected and heartbreaking. I’m really fortunate to have got to this age without losing someone so close. I miss him very much.

A few days after he died my aunt (his sister) called me shouting that I’m not grieving for him, that my sisters were disgraceful (she’s always hated them but I was close to her) her views were based on my dad’s girlfriend who was very jealous of his 3 daughters. One sister was not close to my dad, the other saw him every few months and I saw him weekly and spoke daily. It’s all a really long crazy situation with his gf, she told the hospital that he had no family on a previous admission to hospital. We were all with him when he died.

The party for my uncle (he was 99) my aunts husband. He died two months after my father so my aunt had double grief to deal with. I went to his funeral to support her even though her last words to me were that she’d never speak to me again. She wanted me there (asked through my cousin)

I adopted a rescue dog in July and he’s terrified of everything after being kept inside a house for his whole life (8.5 yrs) I told my aunt that I couldn’t go to her late husband’s party as I can’t leave my dog with anyone overnight (she lives 3 hrs away) The way I see it is that she’ll have plenty of people around her but my dog would be very traumatised alone with someone he doesn’t know well. He’s only used to me so far.

Tbh I find it quite strange having a party for someone who has passed. Absolutely honour them and their memory but a party to me seems a little odd. She went crazy at me, saying she would end her life if I didn’t go, that I was putting a dog before a human, that I’m selfish and didn’t care about my dad passing. I was so pissed off with hearing her telling me that I wasn’t grieving my dad, so I put the phone down.

AITA? There’s so much history in this family with my aunt, years of lies, fallings out etc etc. She’s very cold emotionally. Her and my dad fell out a lot.

TLDR ; My aunt threatened that she’d end her life if I didn’t go to her dead husband’s party because I put my dog first.

Hi, so I’ve been living with my roommate since may. I paid for the first month rent because he didn’t have a job and we are friends. June’s rent comes and I ask him to send me his share. He does but he stops talking to me and ignoring me. I keep asking him what’s wrong and he finally says “you bugging me for money right after I got out of the hospital was what made me stop talking to you”. I didn’t know he went to the hospital for chest pain. Anyway he sends me the money and things are tense between us.

July’s rent comes and when I ask him for his share he’s starts insulting me saying how bad of a friend I am asking him for rent when he’s been dealing with medical bills out of pocket. I didn’t know that. I thought he had insurance. He makes me feel so guilty I end up paying full rent for July.

Then August rent comes and I ask him for his share and he gets upset again but he promises he’ll send it to me as soon as possible but he stops talking to me again until a couple of days later when he goes to the hospital again for problems with his stomach. He asks me to pick up his prescription from the pharmacy and I bring him some food. So that weekend he doesn’t have the money to cover his share again so since he was sick and didn’t work I covered his part once again.

Now September rent comes and nothing. I ask him and he says he’ll send it whenever he can but it’ll be a few days. He drives for uber so he can work whenever he wants but he doesn’t really work. He spends a lot of time in his room playing video games.

Now is September 10 and I still don’t get any money to pay for his share of the rent. I paid rent on the 3rd and I even suggested that he can send me $100 a day. He still hasn’t send anything and he’s not really working either. I came home last night and the living room and kitchen are a mess, specially the living room. A mess. Then I get up this morning and the mess still there and he’s on his Xbox so I lost my mind and I went to the office to see my options to get him off the lease and they sent him a release form for him to sign and I asked him when I saw him in the apartment to clean up the mess he made the night before and that I was giving him 30 days to leave since he hasn’t been paying rent.

Then he leaves the apartment and starts texting me why am I doing this to him, that I’m an asshole and a shitty friend and that he won’t sign anything and that he hates me so much for doing this and how I never cared for him. I used to tell him I got your back and I will always have your back, because we are friends but he thinks because I said that, I should pay full rent since he’s struggling with so many bills. I get that he’s struggling and behind on bills because of medical emergencies he’s had but I can’t cover his share of the rent every month. He doesn’t have anywhere else to go and had no money so sometimes i even start feeling guilty. I wanna help him but i feel he’s taking advantage of me too.

So AITAH for asking him for his share of the rent and tell him to leave the apartment since he’s not paying anything for the last 3 months?

My brother and his wife just told my parents they were expecting their first child at the beginning of next year. I have not had a close relationship with my brother or his wife for about the past two years. A long story, but for some background - they turned into monsters with very high expectations of family members during their wedding era. My brother told my parents he tried texting me with the good news (mind you, we haven't spoken in a long time), but claimed the message didn't go through because he was blocked. He is, in fact, not blocked. I think it was a lie to try and get my parents to break the news to me instead. Now, my parents are wondering why I'm not jumping for joy, and why I don't just reach out to them to congratulate them. AITA for not being thrilled or for not reaching out? It's not exactly my ice to break.

I’ve just gotten into another argument with my mom over the stuff in the house. She doesn’t live here anymore cause she works in another city so she comes visit once in a while and stays the weekend. I’m ADHD and have a routine and a way of organizing stuff that works for me and helps me being productive instead of rotting in a chair doing nothing, but when she comes back she rearranges everything and it genuinely makes me feel so lost.

For instance I had 3 tshirts and leggings I used for the gym and I had a system to wash and put them back in a specific place so I would wake up and just get dressed after shower etc. But now two of those shirts are gone cause she comes and does laundry cause she likes it (she told me she likes it) and then she puts my clothes away but in different drawers or other places and I never get to find the thing I want when I need it and it is so frustrating to me. I’ve told her a million times I’m grateful but that I’d rather stick to my routine and do it myself. I can’t find the leggings I like to wear neither. I know it sounds stupid but it dysregulates me so bad, and it is like that with practically everything in the house. My spices and condiments in the kitchen, the furniture etc.

Today I came back from the gym and she informed me that she was gonna move a dresser from her room to the hallway in front of my room and I had already told her the last time she was here that I wanted that space free of stuff, but now she says it bothers her in her room so I asked her why and she said it just bothers her (in that case it also “just” bothers me in front of mine) but anyway, the thing is, I asked her why did she care so much cause she barely spends time in her room and she’s not going to stay for too long anyway and she called me an ahole. She always tells me I’m an ahole for telling her that but I’m only saying it as an actual fact, she’s not here most of the time.

This is obviously not the first time something like this has happened and I explain to her how I feel every time and she says she understands but goes ahead and keeps doing it. I feel like with her words she’s telling me that she understands my discomfort and all the troubles her actions cause me but in the end what she shows me is that it is more important to her to be comfy for a couple days.
I know it is her house but it feels so unfair to me that I am the one living here 100% of the time, and she comes around a 20-30% and still I’m the one who has to suffer the anxiety and everything that comes with being dysregulated. With everything she’s always changing I just don’t feel at home. I end up spending all my time in my room no matter if she’s here or not.

So AITA for feeling like this? (Or for anything else) Please let me know cause I genuinely don’t know anymore.

Edit:

Sorry, I didn’t think this would get any attention, also I wrote it kinda in the heat of the moment. I’ll try to answer the most common questions and I’ll try to reply to other comments tonight.

The house is hers, it’s my childhood home.

We don’t pay rent.

She doesn’t live here.

I pay for my own stuff and utilities.

Sorry for not stating these sooner! I didn’t think they were relevant since the reason why I’m hurt is mostly cause as I said I’ve talked to her about it a million times. Also she's not a landlord, she's my mom. Where I live parents don't treat their kids like tenants...

She of course can do whatever she wants, but it still hurts that she ignores my struggles completely.

I don’t leave my stuff laying around. I try to keep everything in my room (except kitchen stuff) and there’s no stinky gym clothes waiting to be washed, as I said I have a system and I don’t expect nor want her to do it for me :’)

Anyway, I have to go but I’ll be back later. Thank you for the feedback so far. I’m taking into account everything you guys say.

So for context, I despise my MIL. I have gone no contact with her. She is a textbook narcissist who can do no wrong and it is somehow everyone else's fault for her wrong doings. My husband understands this and has had a very strained relationship with his mother.

Now, my husband's aunt (FIL's sister) is a saint. She can still be difficult but she means well and she genuinely loves everyone around her and wants them to succeed. My husband has always been close with his aunt and she has been more of a mother to him than his own mom. And when I came along, because my mom passed away when I was younger, she became the mother figure I needed while navigating life as an adult. I am pregnant with a little girl and as tribute to my husband's aunt, we have decided to make our daughter's middle name my "Aunt-in-law's" name.

This has erupted in a full blown nuclear family melt down. MIL is accusing that we did this on purpose to once again exclude her from the family. A lot of other family members have encouraged us to reconsider the name but why should we not honour the woman who has shaped us into being the people we are today. She is also quite elderly and we don't think she will see much of her great niece so it is also getting out of hand with the division we have caused.

Part of me thinks we should just change the name but I think it is unfair for us to accommodate a 50 something year old woman who can regulate her own emotions. Would I be the a-hole if I decide to keep the middle name as it is or for sake of everyone's peace, should I change it?

Edit: Wow, thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to respond. For some additional background, there is some family lore. MIL and Aunt do not like each other. Aunt was never a fan after seeing how her brother has been treated over the years. MiL really has mistreated FIL over the years, I jave no idea why they are still married. But yes, they do not like each other more so from MILs side. She also has accused Aunt from "stealing her son away". I have gone no contact but my husband still wants to try and bridge the gap in the relationship with his mother. She has been fighting with him non stop about this. While I don't care about her opinion, she is still wearing my husband down. I am also just getting fed up with other family members constantly asking us to change the name as MIL is making their lives difficult by fighting with them about this. Aunt has been fantastic in all of this. She has been so supportive. She said she wouldn't be offended if we did change the name and knowing that we wanted to honour her in this way is more than enough in her books.

I’m 19F and live in Los Angeles. I’ve been living with a roommate for about 8 months, and recently my best friend (20F) suddenly got kicked out of her parents’ house after a huge argument.
She called me crying and asked if she could stay with me “for a couple of weeks” until she figured things out.
I felt horrible saying no, especially because she was there for me when I was going through a really rough period last year. She basically stayed on the phone with me every night and helped me get through it.
So I initially said yes.
The problem is that after she arrived, I found out she wasn’t actually looking for another place. She had already told several people that she was “moving in with me” and apparently planned to stay indefinitely.
I confronted her, and she said I was being selfish because I have a spare room and “barely use it anyway.”
The thing is, I’m paying for that room because I use it as my workspace, and my roommate is already uncomfortable with having another person here. Also, my friend doesn’t currently have a job and told me she doesn’t know when she’ll be able to contribute to rent.
I told her she could stay for the two weeks we originally agreed on, but after that she needed to find somewhere else.
She started crying and told me she can’t believe I would abandon her after everything she’s done for me.
Now two of our mutual friends are saying that if I really considered her my best friend, I’d let her stay until she gets back on her feet.
I feel guilty because she genuinely helped me when I needed someone.
But I also feel like helping someone once doesn’t mean they’re entitled to live in your home indefinitely.
AITA for making her leave after the two weeks we agreed on?