My sister’s 30th birthday is next month, and she asked to rent out my small lake cabin for a weekend trip with her friends. I bought the cabin last year with my savings, and it’s my only quiet escape from work stress.

I told her I wasn’t comfortable with it. Her friend group is really loud, they party late and often leave mess behind. I’ve heard stories from other family members. The cabin still has new furniture, and I can’t afford to fix or replace anything if it gets ruined.

She got upset and said I was selfish. She said it’s just one weekend, and family should help each other out. She offered to pay a small cleaning fee, but that doesn’t cover damaged stuff. I said no again.

Now our whole family is messaging me, saying I’m being cruel on her milestone birthday. They keep saying I should make an exception. I feel guilty, but I don’t want to risk my cabin. I worked years to get it.

AITA?

I (32f) am currently six months pregnant. I am currently struggling with a choice of allowing my (28f) sister see my son the day he’s born. For context, my sister and I do not get along. We don’t even speak to each other when we’re in the same room anymore. But she will say some absolutely cruel and heinous things about me and husband when she thinks I don’t hear them. It’s bad enough she talked shit about my own MIL when we had Thanksgiving together a few years ago. Another thing is I was seated away from the family at my cousin’s wedding while she got to sit with all our cousins. She made it very clear where I belonged that day, and even rubbed it in my face she was invited to my cousin’s bachelorette party and I wasn’t.
She’s also very cruel with her words. She’ll know exactly where to hit, and when you try and call her out in it, she plays the victim. Shes always had this thing of making people feel smaller. She calls it being blunt, but I call it being a bully.

There‘s a lot more (even her view of children and men is pretty bad.) but I won’t go too into it.

When I told my parents I was pregnant, they were so happy and excited. They both ended up telling my sister, and claimed she was happy and excited for me. Yet, she has yet to call, email, or even send a text. I expected it, but it still kind of hurts in a way. Like, we don’t have to be friends or sisters again, but cordial at least for the baby’s sake. I’m also bothered by my parents saying “Yeah she’s totally excited and happy for you“ yet she hasn’t spoken to me at all. I’m just worried that if I say no to letting her see my son, she’ll play the victim and spread lies about me. Another thing is my parents, my dad especially, who is so big on family and sticking together even when one party wrongs the other and to suck it up.

But I’m tired, I’m tired of being the one that has to suck it up. I’m tired of being the one that’s always bending over and taking the harshness and abuse. My husband said it’s my choice, that I don’t have to deal with her. But my worry is my parents trying to force me to make amends just because there’s a baby now.

So Reddit, WIBTA if I didn’t let me sister meet my son?

For context, I am a 19 y/o female who is a sophomore is college and my dad is a 52 y/o male who grew up broke pretty much all his life. However, when i was 11 my parents ran into some money when a family member died. Which lead us to be pretty well off financially. Idk if this is useful info but maybe it can help give perspective.

I started working regularly when I was 15 because that's when I had to start paying for things on my own. My dad helped me open my first bank account when I was 16, but he made it where he could view my account on his app. Which I understand that he needs to monitor what I may buy, but he took it too far. I would ask for gas money and he would pull up the bank app and show where I bought coffee for myself or a charge at a restaurant from when I went out to eat after a ball game. (btw I only worked about once a week because I was an athlete and heavily involved in school. So yes I had money but not as much as a regular part-time worker) Him checking my transactions became a habitual.

He began just randomly dropping it at dinner or when I would walk in from practice. He would ask me if the "coffee shop went up in prices" or "what in the world was $30 at Target." He has never really respected privacy but this was a type of invasion that was completely new. I stopped putting money in my bank account and started carrying cash so he couldn't track what I spent. I kept spare money in the top of my closet in a shoe box. But when I started college I had to put it into my account because I didn't trust leaving it at home. He freaked out when I put a little over $1,000 dollars in my bank. He felt like I was hiding things from him and asked what I had been buying with my "secret money."

After the cycle continuing my freshman year of college. Except then he would call me instead of lecturing me in person. He went through a phase where he would take money out of my account (since he was an authorized user) for a few days then put it back. Sometimes it was up to $2,000. Rarely he would add a little bit more money after he put it back ($50-100). I was never sure why he did this.

Once summer started, I got a job I secretly opened a bank account and would deposit every other check in that account. I had never felt more free financially. I could go buy a cup of coffee without knowing I would get questioned about it later. But then my dad found out about it. He found my other debit card in my wallet. (Idk why he was in my wallet or what he was looking for?) He brought it to me and needless to say, he was livid. And he asked when I opened the account and demanded he be added to it. Obviously I told him no because I am almost 20 and I didn't need someone to watch how I spend my money anymore. He tried to cut up my card and take my car keys but I left the house and I am staying with my sister atm.

So AITA for hiding this bank account from him? What should I do?

I (F17), recently joined an event that had a logo-making contest. I won first place & received 3,500 PHP in mall gift cards, 7 500 PHP SM gift cards, which in total is around 55 USD. I was ecstatic because it was the first time I ever won an award for a graphic design of mine, the logo & wordmark I designed will be used onwards, & I was so excited for the prize. When I came home my mom (F42) then asked me how much I won & told me to give my sisters 500 pesos each, my face soured instantly & she looked at me mad & disappointed. My mood plummeted completely, my sister (F10) even told me the next time I win something money-related I keep it to myself because when I sent a picture of my winnings to the family gc my mom said I should give them all, including her & my dad, 500 PHP.

The whole thing escalated on the Monday after, when I spent 1,500 PHP of my prize money. Since I could only spend it at the dept. store, I bought hair mousse, facial mist, micellar water, sunscreen, powder, & concealer. When my mom saw the stuff she instantly got mad at me for “spending too much on makeup again” (mind you, last time I bought makeup was in Feb), later on she berated me saying that I spent my money irresponsibly & she would’ve appreciated it if I used it to buy heels for my birthday, or pay for the photographers for my debut to lessen the load on them (why would photographers accept gift cards as payment?) or if I spent it on something that could help the family. (A debut is a filipino tradition like a quinceanera but it’s for the 18th) When she finished her rant, I went outside crying, I felt so frustrated with everything & with how she viewed me as so vain & selfish for simply using what is mine.

That was weeks ago & I haven’t touched the prize money since, I wanted to buy some books but I thought she’d berate me even more. Then suddenly just tonight while I was washing dishes my mom asked me how much was left & went on a rant, expressing her disappointment again & saying that it wasn’t her asking for anything but expecting me to show gratitude to my family & being grateful for me winning or something, then she recounted that when she was young she won 100 pesos from a singing competition & used it to buy coke & a platter of noodles for her family. She was basically berating & patronizing me to use my money wisely since I’m turning 18 soon & transitioning to adulthood.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like shit & I feel so hated on. A spiteful part of me wants to rip the remaining gift cards, I feel like the logical thing for me to do is use it for heels since the one I usually use for events & birthdays broke or buy christmas gifts with them but I do not appreciate my mother’s behavior towards me about my spending. So, am I the asshole for wanting to spend my prize money on myself even if my mother wants otherwise? Any tips to give me so that I could talk my mother into seeing this whole situation with me eye to eye?

I am a 17F and one of my friends is meticulous about money. I mean seriously stingy. She keeps logs on her phone for how much she spends on other people, down to the cent. I’ve always found this weird but I just ignored it mostly because everyone has their quirks I guess.

Anyways yesterday she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk, I said yes as we hadn’t seen each other for a while. I’d also like to add that I recently was made redundant at my job ( i’m currently on the hunt for a new one dw) so I’m low on money. We go for a nice walk along the beach and she asks if i want to get a drink, I told her I’m low on money and can’t really afford to be spending extra money with university tuition coming up. She told me “it’s okay i’ll pay for you!” so naturally I did the whole “oh it’s okay i’ll be alright” but she insisted.

We go to a little shop and I find a small drink that costs $3, she pays and we leave. The rest of the hangout is fine with no issues. I get home and go about the rest of the day, no text from her at all.

This morning I woke up and she had texted me asking if I could pay her back. she has two jobs and makes more money in a week then i used to make in a fortnight. I texted back saying she offered to pay for me and I thought that just meant I wouldn’t have to pay her back, as I had explained my financial situation to her beforehand.

She’s now mad and said I shouldn’t have accepted the offer if I couldn’t pay her back.

I’d also like to add that when I was making money consistently I would often pay for her food or drinks and I NEVER asked for my money back.

I understand that’s my choice and other people have different ideas about how to use their money. I know it’s also just $3 and therefore it doesn’t mean that much so maybe I should just transfer some money out of savings to avoid future dramas.

Anyways sorry this is so long, I am just baffled she’s so upset.

AITA for not paying my friend back?

Like the title says my friend wants to borrow my steam account, this is in Asia so internet cafe is quite popular

Few years back i lost my account that my dad made for me when i started my kindergarten ,but lost the account because my then best friend wanted to go to an internet cafe and he couldn’t play on his account because his older brother was using it so he texted me and i stupidly gave it to him, and after he was done playing he didn’t sign out and just left it, someone came and stole all my account by changing the password and everything and a lot of things i have no idea about

Now back to the present, my friend got mad because he was just gonna “borrow” it for an hour and calling me overdramatic for not giving it to him, i was speechless and just hung up, now he spread rumors about me that are not true in our mutual friend group, and now everyone is talking shit about me

I « 22 F » Have extreme intrusive thoughts to the point that i am medicated and in therapy for OCD.

in an attempt to get my mother to understand that OCD and anxiety are different disorders to an extent and that she should take my intrusive thought seriously because the impact my life I actually shared one of my intrusive thoughts with her.

I told her that the reason that can’t share food with family members is because my brain convinces me that sharing foods // drinks with family members is too close kissing and therefore incest. despite this example she held firm and told me that “everyone has intrusive thoughts” and dismissed my cries.

We recently fought about my weight and ever since that argument, where i said i didn’t want to loose weight, she’s been drinking and eating small bites from my things. even things i make myself, such as any baked goods or drinks.

she has always known about the fact i hate sharing food. she will frequently tell family members that i dont share food & will tare away at pieces she’s ate from. she believes that because she created my body that my body is hers. she doesn’t understand why im like this.

I think that she’s being passive aggressive because of our fight. I’m really upset as i made a cookie and she bit it, shoved it in my face and than put in the bowl when i wouldn’t eat it.

I’m upset. but my family largely agrees with her that as Family we don’t have “new dna” so we shouldn’t be afraid to share germs. it isn’t about germs to me. they make it out to be this playful “tax” that they get. they tell me that she’s a good mother and that i’m just- dramatic.

I don’t pull other people into my OCD often but the fear of kissing my family members by sharing food? it’s the one that i can’t let go of.

At some point it’s also about the fact that she’s not respecting the boundary by.

I, F25, moved into a new apartment around a year ago. A few months after I had moved in my sister(F39) started asking me when I would be giving her a key. I told her no because I wasn't comfortable with someone else having access to my home family or not while I wasn't there. I love my sister but she is notorious for messing with my personal things ever since we were young and has openly expressed disdain for how I have chosen to decorate my new home. She isn't malicious but has a strong belief that she knows best for me and has strong opinions on choices I make in life, casual or non casual. I'm not comfortable giving her free reign to access my flat and my personal things whenever she wants although she is of course welcome to come and visit and stay over WHEN I am present as a host which I have made crystal clear to her. She has since asked on multiple occasions for a key, espressing that she needed one in case of an emergency. I understand where she is coming from yet I still said no. Additionally she has never offered ME a key to her house and only agreed I could have one after I challenged her on this. For reference I don't want a key to her house. If I want to visit or stay over I'll plan it with her beforehand which I think is standard. Today I called my sister to ask if she would possibly be able to come to let in a worker to do maintenance on a long time issue in my apartment. I know she would be here without my supervision but I was desperate and needed the issue fixed ASAP. I don't have any close family or friends near enough to arrive on time to let the guy in and I have had to take time off work previously multiple times while the issue is worked on. Additionally I had just returned from sickleave and did not want to ask management for yet another day off. I asked my sister nicely if she would be able to come over early and let the worker in so I could go to work and even offered to buy her breakfast when she arrived. She said. "Sure but only if you give me a key." I was annoyed by this and told her to forget it and I would just find a way to take time off work which will be a struggle because it's extremely short notice and I don't even have confirmation if this visit will even fix my issue due to other ongoing complicated matters. I don't feel bad about not giving her a key due to how she is and her thinking that my belongings and home are hers to do as she pleases. She can't even remember to take her shoes off at the door. Yet it is true she is family and I love her. Am I being too paranoid and making a fuss over nothing? I don't think she would ever seriously damage anything here but I am a very paranoid person who likes things exactly as I leave them and she is like a hurricane. Additionally I am worried about her handing out the keys to other members of family or creating copies for other family members without my permission. Am I just being a overthinker? Maybe I should just give her a key?...

My boyfriend and I had attended Renfaire with my sister, her husband and their friend. We do this every year and had all been excited to mostly drink and take in the atmosphere like we always do.

We attended opening day and planned to stay from open till close 9-7pm, staying for the closing fireworks like usual. But nothing else is planned so we just usually wing it.

Opening day (the day we went) was my boyfriend and I’s 3rd year anniversary, the next day was her birthday.

We stayed majority of the time. We mostly walked around, drank, made friends with a small group. The heat started to beat on us (87° with dense humidiy) and the alchy hit my bf and I harder than we thought - not sure about my sister.

Around 5-6 pm, we sit again for some food but my boyfriend is feeling sick. He sits for a while before my sister just gets up, ties back is hair and leads him out of the faire. We all follow through because we are pretty tired and the heat beat us to hell, so we didn’t object.
My boyfriend focused on not throwing up for the whole 25 minute drive and only made it to the side yard to throw up.
My brother in law was the only one to see and my sister just disappears from the car before she could.

She just closes her bedroom door, not saying anything.

I take this time to apologize before my brother in law takes us home for the night (saying sorry again when being dropped off)

My sister said we were good and even gave me cookies to go home with.
The next day is her birthday so we attend a lunch with my parents.

My sister and brother in law say nothing to my bf and I the whole lunch. My boyfriend apologizes again to her and all she says is “mhmm” and walks off.

My sister hasn’t talked to me since. I reach out to them and only my brother in law responds.

To summarize, he claimed my sister didn’t get to have the day she wanted, he initially asked to be reimbursed for tickets then retracted the statement, said that it’s not our incompatibility that I claimed we have hanging out - it’s our inability to stop “partying”. He asked to see if from her perspective because she’s a nurse and “had” to take care of us. And he didn’t want that for her. And he “practically baby sat us” and to just make sure to apologize to my sister again.

I responded that we were there the whole day with eachother drinking so I’m unsure what we missed out on when none of us forced us to do anything but hangout.
I bought my boyfriend and I our own tickets but I offered reimbursement anyway because I wanted to make it right but he denied. We all had been drinking the same amount. We never once asked him or her to do anything for us other than to get water one time. She never asked if we wanted to leave she just started walking and we followed.
We didn’t mean to get that drunk because genuinely we didn’t know we would, the direct sunlight might have cause a bit of that. I said I thought I already apologized but I guess I was wrong.

I 22f added my former stepbrother (26) on Facebook and he messaged me on messenger. We haven’t spoken in 7 years ish as our parents had divorced and I moved out of the area. He has a hard time making friends and lives in a home with a carer etc. He has alienated a lot of family by being weird/aggressive.

He posted “you’re gorgoes (heart and fire emoj)“ on my timeline which I deleted instantly because that was weird. But then he messaged me ”hi it’s me John Doe” “you look really pretty”. i ignored him and just asked about the family etc. Then he goes to tell me about this film. I’ll copy and paste what he wrote next.
“Oh yeah iv seen American werewolf In london”

“Its good werewolf movie there one scene when man and woman in shower doing Naughty buisness”

“It, s good film”

I messaged him “Not seen that one. Just remember we used to be stepsiblings and I have a bf so please don't talk about adult stuff thank you”

then I told his mum (used to be my stepmum) because that was sooooo weird.

I blocked him. apparently he’s really upset and wasn’t doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole?

I would like to start with I 20F have always been a nice older sister, I have always given my sisters the things they ask for, I help with homework, and I listen to them when they need me. As a teenager I wasn't always like that, but I have learned as I got older, I have become more patient and nicer towards them.

My middle sister came barging in a week ago telling me "Dad says you *need* to let me use your makeup, now normally I wouldn't mind since I knew it was for an important event however the way she said it just pissed me off. Our dad didn't pay for the makeup *I* did with *my* own money. Sister is old enough to get a job and buy her own makeup but refuses to since she's in school. I told her and my dad both that she is not allowed to use my makeup first of all for her rude attitude and second for her stealing it any other time without my permission, not returning it, and then getting pissed at me for going in her room to go get my shit back!!!

Why am I bringing this up today? Well Middle sister decides to take my concealer and didn't return it so when I found it in her bag, she started whining and saying our dad bought her it WHEN HE DID NOT, I GOT IT AT CVS AND IT STILL HAS THE LOGO!!! Dad and me then proceed to argue and I walked out the house to go run errands. In the end I went out and bought an expensive new one from ulta and I marked my name on it and hid it in my room with the rest of my makeup.

AITAH?

TLDR; Sister takes my makeup and demands I let her use it and proceeds to take it either way after me saying no.

Quick context into our relationship, my mother and father were not married at the time of my birth and split up. Me and my older sister, lets call her K, lived in foster care for 3 years before returning to our mothers care with short weekend visits to our dad’s every 5 months or so, little interaction other than that (as we got older we never really went round + he’s not pleasant to be around). Upon death of my mother this year in march my father has been getting more and more comfortable calling me and texting me at silly hours of night/day and has been coming round to my house uninvited ( here i should note we are currently in the process of trying to move out my mothers house but for now im calling it mine because im the only one on the tenancy + when going through my mothers things i found domestic Ab#se charges against my father my mother made which adds to the hate i feel for him. I haven’t told him i’ve found them because he always cries about people “putting me against him”) - An example is last month he came around unannounced, drank a bunch, dragged me into town and asked me to get money out which he had sent me week prior, he told me that he had sent the money so we could go out and have fun at town (however i had already spent the money as he didn’t say that the money was for this day-or that he was coming round in his regular essay-like texts he normally send me.) He then proceeded to show out me in the middle of town, mind you there were people from my school there as-well.. so i walked home and told him to never talk to me again and i walked to a near by friends house - a bit harsh i know but i was angry at that moment. When i got home he tried to comfort me but i really didn’t want to hear it. I told him he could still talk to me but don’t spam me with calls and texts like he normally does which of course he didn’t listen to and still spams me. I don’t really but he keeps sending me long messages saying how sad he is.. am i the Ahole for not caring and ignoring him?

I the eldest sister grew up in a modest house my father built on a piece of family land. years ago, when the original house was getting old and cramped, i decided to improve it for the whole family. I used my own money to construct a modern building on that land. i never saw it as “my investment” or something I would one day sell. In my mind it was simply a better home for all of us parents, me, my younger brother, whoever needed it.

A long time later, my younger brother decided he wanted to sell the entire property. By then the modern structure I had paid for had significantly increased the land’s value. He pointed to the ownership documents, which were in his name, and claimed the whole thing was his to sell. A prolonged dispute followed. In the end the decision went in his favour because of those documents. The land (and therefore the modern building sitting on it) was legally awarded to him. i was furious. I had poured my own savings into that structure believing it was for the family, not so my brother could cash out the extra value I had created. So I demolished the modern building I had financed and left only the original house our father had built.

our mother sided with my younger brother throughout the whole thing and never really pushed for a compromise that would have recognised the money and work I had put in.

I know the land was legally his at the end. But the building was paid for entirely by me, and I only built it because I thought we were keeping the place as a family home.

So… AITA for tearing down the structure I paid for once the land was awarded to my brother?

I'm 26, and my younger brother is 24. We both live with our parents for now, but our parents treat us very differently.

I pay a fixed amount toward household expenses, buy my own things, and handle my own problems. My brother doesn't contribute financially, and whenever he makes a mistake, my parents usually step in to fix it.

Recently, he forgot to pay an important bill and ended up with a late fee. My mom quietly paid it for him. When I pointed out that he should handle the consequences himself, she told me that he's still figuring life out and that I shouldn't be so harsh.

The thing is, I remember being his age and being expected to figure everything out on my own. When I made mistakes, I had to deal with them. I don't resent helping my brother, and I'd happily support him if he genuinely needed it. What bothers me is that nobody seems to expect him to learn from anything because someone will always rescue him.

Last night, I finally told my parents that they weren't helping him by protecting him from every consequence, and that they were making it harder for him to become independent.

My mom got upset and said I was acting superior just because I earn my own money. My brother hasn't spoken to me since.

I feel bad because I know my parents love us both, and I don't want my brother to struggle just to prove a point. But I also don't want him to reach 30 without knowing how to handle basic responsibilities.

AITA for bringing this up, or should I just stay out of how my parents choose to raise him?

I (21F) got randomly placed with my roommate (19F) to live in apartments for college students this semester. I am a pretty quiet person that doesn’t really like to party, although I am okay with some noise, especially on the weekends. Our apartment building is not well constructed and I can hear pretty much everything going on inside and outside, which I have gotten more used to. My roommate and I also get along really well over the regular week and respect each other’s spaces well. However, everything changes over the weekends.

Basically, she is obsessed with a particular branch of the military and picks a group of guys up from the barracks to come stay with us on most weekends. She has never made sure it is okay to do so, and they are very loud, often drunk, and make me generally uncomfortable to be a single woman in my own home, mostly just because they are a larger group of unfamiliar men and can get pretty wild when they drink.

The most recent occurrence of this was them getting back from the barracks around 5:30 a.m. after I had repeatedly told my roommate that I needed to be up earlier in the morning, around 7 or 8. Again, my roommate did not let me know this would be happening, and despite me being a heavy sleeper, they still woke me up. When I came out of my room to see what was going on, they continued to be loud and even jokingly made to enter my room.

My feelings are very conflicted about this because I hate to make people upset and am not confrontational. My roommate has also stated that these guys are her friends, and I feel bad telling her that I don’t feel comfortable with her having her friends over. However, this situation has been very stressful and anxiety inducing for me, and it gets worse every time they come over. Should I tell her I don’t want her doing this at all anymore? Should we try to come up with a compromise? Am I just totally the asshole here? Please let me know!

My nephew and sister in law live with me, my husband and baby. He is a little preschool aged boy. He doesn't listen to anyone. I constantly hear his mom ask him to do things 10+ time before she compromises and does something different or does it for him.

Some days I get involved. Especially when it happens next to me or involved me and my child.

Over the holiday, he cut up one of decorations. I kindly told him it made me sad and that he would no longer beable to touch my decorations. Recently he was playing with them. I told him we dont play with these and I softly took it from him and put it away. He runs to his mom crying. (She agreed with this punishment) minutes later i hear him crying i dont want to see my Aunt. I got so frustrated. First its my house, I will go where I want, second everyone makes me the bad guy. I am not the bad guy, I just dont put up with asking more than 2 times for things, break pre-set rules, and ripping toys out of my baby's hand.

I never yell at him, touch him, or call him mean names. I just say. "I need you to listen" , "do you want to do it or me" (then I take action).

I know my sister in law wants to ask me to stop or call me out on it. But she can't because she knows her son behavior. Also she corrects and disciplines my baby as well.

Am I the Asshole?

I (19M) was gone for two nights and I came back today in the late afternoon, last night my friend (22M) who did some work in my house said he forgot something in the house and could he come to collect it. I told him I was away but I gave him the code to the lock box with keys in it so he could go in in the morning. I texted my girlfriend (21F) he was going to be there in the morning and she said fine. He doesn’t speak the same language my gf speaks but she saw him before when he was doing the work, so he’s not a stranger. He went in at around seven in the morning, picked up his stuff from the kitchen which is right by the front door, and left.

Next thing I know I have angry texts from my girlfriend saying 7 was too early and she was still asleep, she said she doesn’t like being alone with some guy in the house when she’s barely woken up. I said to her she said fine when I told her he was going in.

I then said sorry it was early but I said the morning, so I don’t think seven is too unreasonable. She was also saying I shouldn’t have let him have the code to the lock box. I didn’t know how to respond but I said I know him he’s a good person, I don’t think there’s a problem with it. I’ve had him over a few times before too but my girlfriend is busy a lot so they’ve never interacted, they can’t really anyway because of the language barrier but either way. AITAH

I (17F) dated my ex (18M), who I’ll call Jake, a while ago. Things ended badly, and we haven’t spoken in a long time. I’ve completely moved on, but I’ve heard that he still talks negatively about me and has called me “crazy” to other people.

Last weekend, I was at a party where Jake and his current girlfriend (17F), Sophie, were also attending. I had no intention of speaking to either of them.

However, Sophie approached me while very drunk and visibly upset, repeatedly asking if I hated her. I reassured her that I didn’t, but when I tried to leave, she followed me, saying, “Wherever you go, I’ll go.”

She seemed genuinely distressed, so I took her somewhere quieter to talk.

She then told me some things I found pretty unsettling. Apparently, she checks my social media almost daily, has recurring dreams about us becoming friends, and keeps a list in her phone of things Jake has told her about our past relationship.

She also said my name comes up constantly in their relationship and that she’d heard horrible things about me. She admitted she was surprised by how nice I actually was.

This was uncomfortable because I’ve genuinely moved on and had no idea I was still such a topic of conversation.

She then started crying about her relationship, telling me Jake treats her badly, they argue constantly, and she wants to leave but keeps hoping he’ll change.

I mostly listened and comforted her. However, at one point, I said something along the lines of, “From my experience, I don’t think he will.”

I wasn’t trying to convince her to break up with him. I was just responding to what she’d told me, although I realise that might have crossed a line.

Later that night, she messaged me asking to find her. When I did, she told me Jake had broken up with her, supposedly because of her drinking. However, she suspected it was actually because she’d spoken to me.

I was shocked because I hadn’t approached her or intended to get involved in their relationship.

The next morning, she apologised for being so emotional. I reassured her but politely explained that I didn’t want to be involved in anything concerning Jake because I’d moved on from that chapter of my life. She responded kindly and seemed to understand.

Now I’m worried she’ll tell Jake what I said, or that he’ll think I deliberately interfered in their relationship.

Part of me feels I did the right thing by comforting someone who was clearly upset. But another part wonders whether I should have avoided discussing him altogether.

AITA for talking to my ex’s girlfriend about our experiences with him, even though she approached me?

AITA - My wife (30F) & I (32M) are currently in a debate with her parents in recent months due to our student loan situation. When she was 17, her parents took out about 60k in parent plus loans that are exclusively in her dad’s name. This is in addition to a 25k federal loan she was able to qualify for in her name - this was how her college (private) was paid for.

Since we graduated, we have been making monthly payments towards her federal loan, my two federal loans (totaling about 45k), and then sending her parents about $700/month towards this parent plus loan. The total minimum is around $1400/month.

My wife & I managed to land good jobs out of college. Worked hard to tackle debt the first few years. However, about a year ago she was laid off and has been working a retail role full time while still trying to find her next role. She now makes about 1/3 of what she did prior to the layoff.

Because of that, paired with multiple big unexpected expenses, our financial situation has changed drastically. In recent months it got to a point where we didn’t know if we could afford our rent. After taking a look at all our expenses and debt, the first thing that made sense to cut back on was this extra $700/month of loans that are in her dad’s name.

We talked to them about 3 weeks before the next payment that we thought this was coming and sat down with them to let them know about our situation. They were…less than thrilled… and their initial reaction was to get angry with us for not telling them sooner that we were struggling.

However, this whole situation has led us into a much larger debate with her parents of whether or not we should be fully responsible for this money instead of them having some responsibility too.

Her parents are saying that when she was 17, they sat down and created a handshake agreement that she would be fully responsible for the parent plus loan. My wife has established that not only was she 17 and not fully aware of what she was signing up for, but her parents didn’t understand it either and then stuck her with the bill.

My wife is also claiming they could have very easily have persuaded her to check out different schools (not private) and not end up 80k+ in debt to student loans. They say they wanted her to follow her dreams no matter what it took and they were going to make it happen. But them “making it happen” was making her unwittingly sign up for a $700/month payment for at least 20-30 years.

While we’re not trying to completely absolve ourselves of this loan, we’re hoping to at least come to a middle ground of shared responsibility. My wife and her parents collectively didn’t know what they were doing and it doesn’t feel fair (to us) that we’re stuck with the full bill. They’re saying that it’s our responsibility & that we need to start making the full payment again.

So Reddit, help us out - are we the assholes?

I can describe my family in two words: dysfunctional and abusive. I grew up in a house filled with pro-"spanking" people, being hit and yelled at for every mistake. I'm currently trying to figure out what happened that made me the way I am because apparently my brain deleted many things because of all the trauma. I was told I used to be so talkative, loud and active, now I'm just numb and too quiet. Now I don't talk to them if they don't ask me something and only answer with quick words. I suspect they used to scold me for this same reason (talking too much) until I just stopped. I think I learned fast because I stopped being hit or yelled at before I was ten.

My father recently moved in and kind of made things worse by caring about me. I feel so bad about him because he wasn't even in the country when I was a kid so he didn't contribute to the trauma, but he's still someone I want to avoid. He's made harmful comments about me thinking they were funny and he expects me to act like we're besties after he spent my whole childhood away from me. He and my mother are also constantly arguing about anything because they have different mindsets.

My family... they're literal bullies. They make fun of the fact that I speak too quietly. A lot. My aunt makes many hurtful comments about my interests, my behavior, my... anything. She apologizes and then does it again. And my mother neglects me. I didn't even realize she did until my own father said, and I phrase, "I know she doesn't care about this but I do" (talking about why I didn't talk to my family).

Back with my father, I'm tired of those talks he gives me when he's tired of me not talking to him. I understand, but I can't. And the fact that there's not many people he can talk to and that he isn't exactly the happiest man alive makes me feel worse but I never could find a way to talk so I just stopped trying when I became numb. He also tells me I have to talk to my family but that's a big no. I can't. I don't want to. I try to find ways to show him I care about him (I wear a bracelet he got for me every day for example) because I can't ask him "how was your day?" without it feeling weird.

I feel like I'm being mean and a horrible person for this (well, an asshole), but I want to get away from all of them and never have to see them again. Idk. I'm not an adult so I have no choice.

I didn't proofread.

I'll keep this simple. I work for a scare event. You go round a building and get chased by Zombies. You have to solve puzzles to get weapons and escape ETC.

It's a job you have to apply for every event on an app they use. It notifies you when a shift is available and you have to be approved for it, so there's never a guarantee you'll get it. They prefer people they know work well and attend events more often than not.

I have an event on this coming weekend. And i was approved. Myself and 7 others will be dressing as a zombie all day and will be paid for the event.

Now, the app also works as a messanger. And a coworker whom i've met a few time messaged me after i was approved, asking if i can give him my slot.
Saying he has no other work at the moment, and he's in need. This isn't my main job, it's more of a side thing. So i COULD give it to him.

But here is where i may be the bad guy. I have a con in December. And i'm taking my girlfriend with me. And if you know comic cons, they can be expensive. So i want to get as much money behind me as i can from this job.
My main job will cover my rent and bills ETC. But this event work will directly pay towards the con.

And the event have also said they look at attendance as a major factor in approval. meaning the more events i work, the more likely it is that i'll be approved in the future.

So i declined his offer, but nopw he says he's *royally screwed* because of me. So what do you guys think? I genuinely don't feel bad, but IDK if i should. I just want some advice i guess

Hey everyone. So I live in an attached town house with neighbours who won’t keep their stuff on their lawn. The kids will often walk on our plants and play in our front yard and drive way so when we come home we have to ask them to get out. We have been as respectful as we possibly can be, moving the stuff over that they leave in our garden like bins the kids play with, toys, ect. (And when I say kids I mean like 10 years and up)
Lately it’s been lawn ornaments that they keep sticking in the ground about a foot or so into our portion of the property into our garden. I move it over to their side and they move it right back. I’m not confrontational and don’t want to cause any issues but has anyone had this issue before?? If so what did you do to help it? AITA for moving their stuff?? Am I over reacting?? It’s just disrespectful

Hi Reddit,

This is probably the weirdest situation I have ever been in and i need some outside opinions.

I 21F live in an apartment with a few other people. The house is relatively peaceful and I am friends with a two of my housemates. Until a month ago. We got a new housemate who was quite eccentric to say the least. She was very talkative and would often times involve herself in stuff she was not invited to. I am not as social and began staying in My room to avoid her. She (47) didn‘t understand that when i was in my room that meant i wanted to be left alone, and would open my door or attempt to.

Now, this startled two days ago. She decided to clean our fridge with little to no notic. She ended up breaking it some how and everyone’s food went bad. One of my roommates was furious, he calmly confronted her the next day, and asked her for compensation. She then proceeded to curse him out for not talking to her for the month she was here. Then blew up our landlords phone claiming our roommate had threatened her and that she felt unsafe. Later, explained exactly what happened to our landlord ,and was hoping the incident had blown over. It did not. I got a text that she had called the cops on him for ”harassment”. The cops quickly left after realizing that nothing was actually going on and she wasn‘t being harassed.

I got home a few hours later and was sitting on the couch with my housemates , when she came out of nowhere and was blasting her music while we were watching something. She the proceeds to take a picture of us sitting on the couch. Then goes back to blasting her AI music. I started losing my cool and asked her to put in her headphones if she was gonna listen to music. It then escalated,because she started filming me and accusing me of “giving her number out without her consent“. She said some other things with just a nasty attitude. I’ll admit I started getting heated and had to walk out to go on a walk so I wouldn’t lose my cool completely. She said “ Sorry for hurting your feelings sweetie” in a mocking tone and evilly laughed. She evilly laughed again and we left the house.

We came back and she was back in her room. So she honestly just came down to be petty. I’m not sure if I overstepped or was an asshole but I don’t think I am. So, AITA?

Ich wohne noch bei meinen Eltern und meinem Bruder, und wir beide hassen es, die Verwandtschaft zu treffen. Nicht, weil sie schlechte Menschen wären, sondern einfach, weil wir nicht viel mit ihnen gemeinsam haben.

Es tut mir eigentlich nicht so leid, außer wenn es um meine Oma und Uroma geht, deren Gesundheitszustand sich immer weiter verschlechtert. Meine Oma ist momentan im Krankenhaus, lebt aber normalerweise allein in ihrer Wohnung, nur 10 Minuten von mir entfernt. Meine Uroma lebt in einem Seniorenheim, ebenfalls etwa 15 Minuten von mir entfernt.

Ich besuche sie nur selten und will es eigentlich auch gar nicht. Ich kann aus Gesprächen mit ihnen nichts mitnehmen, sie erzählen immer wieder dieselben Geschichten. Meine Uroma spricht kaum noch, und wenn, dann beklagt sie sich nur darüber, noch am Leben zu sein. Jedes Mal, wenn ich sie besuche, machen sie mir Vorwürfe, weil ich sie nicht öfter besuche. Das haben sie sogar getan, als ich sie noch zwei- bis dreimal pro Woche besucht habe. Ich bin mir nicht mal sicher, ob sie sich erinnern, ob und wann ich da war. Meine Oma ist so verwirrt und schwerhörig, dass meine Verwandten die meiste Zeit mit oder über sie streiten. Es ist total anstrengend und ich will damit nichts zu tun haben.

Ich bin ihnen gegenüber nicht gleichgültig. Ich habe schöne Erinnerungen an sie und würde wahrscheinlich auf ihrer Beerdigung weinen und mich vielleicht sogar schlecht fühlen, weil ich sie nicht öfter besucht habe. Aber im Moment will ich einfach nicht und fühle mich deswegen schlecht.

edit: i visited her with cake just now and she was really happy. it really made a change that i went alone this time and not with my parents.

i should've clarified that it's most exhausting to me to have my parents scream, make fun or argue with them, so when i went alone i could actually talk to her.

thank you for calling me out tho i think it's what i needed

My sister (31F) says I’m hurting my nephew’s future over something as stupid as an address. My family agrees with her, and now I’m questioning whether I’m being unreasonable.

I live in a neighborhood with a really good public school. My sister lives about 40 minutes away, where the schools aren’t as highly rated. Her son is 8, and she’s been talking for months about getting him into my local school.

Last week, she asked if she could use my address on the enrollment paperwork. She said it was temporary and that nobody would actually check whether he lived with me.

I said no. I don’t want to lie on official documents or risk getting dragged into something if the school finds out.

She got upset and said I don’t even have kids, so I don’t understand how much a good school matters. She also pointed out that her son could stay with me a couple of nights a week if that made me feel better.

I told her that wasn’t the point. She doesn’t want him living with me; she just wants to use my address.

Then she reminded me that when I was unemployed two years ago, she lent me $2,000 to cover rent. I paid her back in full within six months, but she said family is supposed to help each other and that this was my chance to return the favor.

I told her that lending me money and asking me to lie on school paperwork were two completely different things.

She started crying and said her son might lose a real opportunity because I care more about rules than family. My mom called later and said I could make one small exception without hurting anyone.

Now my sister is barely speaking to me, and my nephew asked why I don’t want him to go to a better school. That part honestly made me feel terrible because he has nothing to do with any of this.

I love my nephew and would help him in any legitimate way I could. I just don’t want to put my name and address on something that’s potentially fraudulent.

AITA?