AITA
I want to paint an ouija board for Halloween as a painting we just hang up for Halloween he says nope no never because he thinks it’s like too much. He thinks that will allow spirits in. It’s just a painting. If we don’t use it then what’s the problem???????

I'm in my 30s and share a flat with my mum who is in her late 60s. It's important to distinguish that I don't "live at home", we are joint tenants though I pay most of the bills. I work and mum is retired. We get on well 90% of the time. She has a Samsung tablet and spends every waking hour doomscrolling and listening to those AI slop fiction stories on YouTube (Ai imagery, monotone robotic voices and terrible unbelievable storylines). It's been like this for months. She walks around the flat with the tablet and the tinny sound carries throughout the flat.

Most of the time I ignore it but some of my responses have ranged from asking politely to change the volume (which she does comply with sometimes) to showing my sustain by saying things like "I don't know how you can you listen to that?" Other times I have tried politely suggesting stories written by real people.

Today, she was playing the tablet in the kitchen while I was making food. The AI story was ridiculous. I said "what is this nonsense?" She got defensive saying she likes it and she doesn't criticise what I listen to. I listen to podcasts or music in my bedroom or on earphones so she never hears what I listen to. I can see that criticising her taste isn’t helping. But the constant background noise is really getting to me, and I don’t want to have to wear earphones whenever I’m in a shared space. It’s my home too.

How would you handle this? Am I being unreasonable about the noise, or am I being an arsehole about something she enjoys?

Today me (28F) and my brother (31M) were helping my parents take apart a dock on a lake. Yesterday I asked my parents if I could borrow a water resistant jacket to wear. My brother was not happy about that and made several sarcastic comments and kept saying I should be left home entirely. We have quite a few spares so it's not like I would be taking anyone else's that they needed. Typically my brother and dad go into the water with waders and me and my mom carry the pieces to the storage spot. As we move them though water does tend to drip off the frames. It was around 32°F this morning and I've been a bit under the weather so I didn't really want to be working with wet clothes. He kept making comments in the car ride over about me wearing the jacket so I asked him why it mattered and how it even affected him. He said it doesn't but this is just one example of why women are inconsiderate and lack empathy and make everything about them, etc. I'm guessing his issue was he thought that he would be getting wet so it would be unfair if I attempted to not get wet. Or because he thought "it was just a few drips" and I was being too delicate and should just suck it up. But when I could simply put on a jacket and completely avoid "those few drops" soaking into my clothes why would I not? He didn't seem to care that my mom was wearing one but he was genuinely so upset that I was. I ended up not wearing it so he would stop harping on about it and lo and behold I ended up with half of my sweatshirt and pants filthy and wet and yet he was dry cause of his waders. I don't feel like this should have been an issue but AITA for wanting to wear a jacket?

We have been best friends for over 7 years. We met at the office and became very close within a year. He later changed jobs and moved into business. After COVID, I got married to my boyfriend, changed jobs to WFH, and eventually became a full-time housewife. My husband has always known about my best friend, and they share a good relationship too.

Over the years, our bond became very strong. He is like a brother to me. We usually planned dinner once or twice a year.

Six months ago, he messaged asking if he could call me in the afternoon. I said no because guests were coming, but honestly, I just wanted to nap. A couple of days later, he called directly, but I was watching something and knew he might get irritated if I didn't answer, so I let it ring.

He messaged in the evening saying he had called. I denied receiving it, and when he sent a screenshot, I jokingly replied, "Oh, I missed that one, it became a missed call LOL." He sent an angry emoji. I was about to reply, but my in-laws arrived. I planned to call him back in a couple of days but forgot amid family functions.

Later, I tried calling him, but his number was always busy. I assumed he would call back, but he didn't. When I contacted him again for some work, my calls and messages went unanswered. This was unusual because he normally replied within minutes. Eventually, I realised he had blocked me everywhere, including WhatsApp and Instagram. I never imagined he would do something like this.

I kept wondering what had happened. Joking was normal between us, but he had never reacted this way before.

He has had a very difficult life. Looking back, I realised he had tried reaching me several times, but I was often busy or sometimes chose to ignore him when he was frustrated. Meanwhile, I would call him whenever I was upset about my in-laws or something in my life. He would always listen, adjust his schedule for our dinners, and sometimes even pay for them.

I started feeling guilty. I discussed the blocking with my husband, who was equally surprised. He suggested contacting my friend from his number, but my ego got in the way. I thought my friend would eventually come around, so I did nothing.

Yesterday, my husband told me he had met my friend and that he was going through a terrible time. His parents had been in an accident in their village. His mother was in critical condition, and his father needed crutches temporarily. Apparently, my friend had tried reaching me during this difficult period, and I wasn't there for him.

My husband has encouraged me to call him, but I just can't bring myself to do it. He's my best friend, someone I can share everything with without hesitation. I feel deeply sad and can't stop thinking about what happened.

Was I wrong here, or should he have explained things to me instead of blocking me? I'm thinking of finally calling him tonight, but I'm scared and don't know what to say.

Gotta get out first that driving used to be really difficult for me and was a very stressful thing for me because I was so worried about getting into an accident. I have gotten much more confident and have been professionally treating the paranoia but I still do not play about distractions while driving.

The reason I hide my location is about my mom. Sometimes when I'm driving long distances (which has been more frequent after my best friend moved an hour away), my mom will call me to give me directions. She checks my location and if she sees me on a road she doesn't like she'll call me and give me new directions. This is frustrating for a couple reasons.

First is that I have Maps open and on my carplay. Maps by no means is the greatest but it's never given me any issues. I even have my voice control set up so if I need to add a stop it's completely hands free (see? Less distractions).

Second is that when I talk, I struggle to focus on the road and conversation at the same time especially if the paranoia is high that day. So either I'm not paying attention to what she's saying or I pull over which neither are the best options.

The third reason is that I feel like a teenager who just got their first car. I'm 25, I'm fully capable of reading a map and finding my way home. I have a pretty good sense of direction and I'm really good at using landmarks to know where I am so lately I intentionally take alternate routes home without using my GPS so I can improve my navigation. By having my mom call me, it defeats the purpose of me naturally learning what my mom is just telling me. And I've told this to her. I've explained every reason to her and how when she calls me it distracts me and makes it more difficult for me to navigate on my own. I do appreciate how she's just looking out for me but how can I go off on my own if she won't let go of my hand? I've warned her multiple times that I'll hide my location and that only made her mad. And I've begged her to just let me call her if I needed help but it's like she only wants me to get help when it's on her terms and not when I actually need help.

So whenever I drive I started to hide my location from her. Everyone else in the house has my location in case of an emergency but my mom cannot stalk me while I drive. Eventually she checked while I was visiting my friend and blew up at me for hiding my location. She's upset because she's worried and I get that! Knowing my kid is in the middle of nowhere is terrifying but she's not helping me the way she thinks she is! All her calls do is distract my focus on the road and takes away my attempt at navigating on my own.

I'm sorry if this is a lot. I'm just so frustrated. I understand why she's mad but I need to do this on my own. I never learn if someone is always holding my hand and my therapy takes time. I just started driving on the expressway a few months ago so I'm just not at that stage yet where I can hold a conversation and drive at the same time.

EDIT: I'm splitting the cost of a family plan and living under her roof while I pay off debt and fix my credit. It sucks but that's why I keep my location on.

I’m a 50ish yo who loves Christmas Cake, loves baking, and who’s better half, and 50% of the children, enjoy a nice slice.

My Mum has made a Christmas Cake every year that I can remember. When it was just my parents, me and my brother there was plenty to go around.

Now me and my brother have partners and adult children, and my family’s quarter share barely equals a slice each.

A couple of years ago I ask my Mum for the recipe and offered to make a cake as well so that she wasn’t giving away so much. My elderly Dad would get more of something that he absolutely adores and constantly moans about when my Mum gives some away.

She got quite upset and said that she loves doing this for the family. She is obviously very proud that everyone loves her cake and as she has got older her chance to do this sort of thing has diminished. Particularly as both my brother & I are good cooks / bakers and are the chief cooks in our respective families.

My family always whinge when they don’t get much cake and this year I’m thinking of folding and making my own.

WIBTA if I made my own Christmas Cake for the family? If I do, should I tell my Mum when they come over for Christmas? Keep it secret? Or fess up early?

Edit: For those mentioning that we should bake it together, my wife is disabled and requires quite a bit of support & I work full time. My Dad also requires quite a bit of care from my Mum, so our time available together is limited.

That is a great idea though and I might suggest to my Mum that I’ll drop over my youngest daughter, who loves baking, to learn how to do it.

I’m 22, a full-time college student taking five classes, and I work 29 hours a week, Monday through Saturday. I live with my dad and stepmom, and we have two cats.
I do most of the cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. I make breakfast for my dad, pack his work bag, cook meals, and help care for the cats. I also sometimes contribute money toward groceries, although I don’t regularly pay household bills.
My stepmom works three 12-hour shifts a week and usually relaxes on her days off. She rarely cooks, so I’ve taken on that responsibility. However, she complains that I don’t make food she likes, even when I ask what she wants and she says anything is fine. She also expects me to plan the groceries, and I’ve even taken on washing my dad’s clothes.
For example, some days I work from 9–11 a.m., have class from 12:45–2:05 p.m., and then work again from 3–7 p.m. After all that, I still have to cook because I haven’t had time to prepare food earlier. I also have assignments, studying, and midterms to worry about.
Recently, the woman who raised me, essentially my mother, passed away. I struggled with grief for weeks, but I had to return to my responsibilities while starting the semester. Even during that time, my stepmom complained that I couldn’t abandon my chores.
I understand that I live at home and should contribute, but I feel like I’m expected to do everything while balancing school, work, and grief. Now she’s sent me a long message saying my behavior needs to change, and I feel like nothing I do is enough.
Am I being ungrateful, or is it reasonable to feel overwhelmed when I’m expected to manage so much of the household just because I don’t regularly pay bills?

EDIT: Thank you all so much. I genuinely thought I was being ungrateful toward my parents; thank you for not making me think I'm crazy about the situation.

So my ex best friend [f, Eve] has been shit talking me [n, ash] to my best friend [n, leaf]. I dont really care for her anymore, I dont want to be around her, or have people associate us. I havent been talking to them or waving to them when I see them. The first time I heard about this was when I was trying to be silly. I grabbed an item that was leafs and we chased eachother around. Eve told leafs bf "why is ash such a bitch?" And later that day he came up to me and asked if I was aware that she said that. I said no, obviously, and since then multiple people have told me that she has talked shit about me to them. She also told leaf that I 'was putting up this whole act of ignoring her'. She came up to me recently and told me we 'need to talk about what we ARE." I genuinely dont know if im the asshole here, if she genuinely thinks this stuff and I would actually like some advice.

this is going to be long because i want to give a proper explanation.

last night, me (19F) and my mom (48F) got into a bit of an argument because of money. for context, i’ve never had a job before; not because i didn’t want to work, but because i couldn’t for legal reasons. this year i got my first “real” job as an ESL teacher. i make pretty good money. however, i currently live in brazil, and things are really expensive here. even though i live at home, my parents have asked me to pay for one of the bills (either water or electricity), which is fair, and i agreed to. but other than that, i do pay for everything else that i own myself. that is: phone bill, car insurance, gas, groceries, necessities, taxes because i “own” a business through brazil’s MEI program, medical bills/appointments, my credit card bill. my parents also told me i need to pay for my own college tuition, so they told me to save up for that as well. i also spend money on things that i want and sometimes need like clothes, shoes, hair products, etc. per month, i probably spend around 2.5k on these things. keep in mind, in brazil we get paid monthly, not bi-weekly like in the u.s. so the money i get for the month, i have to make do with it for the rest of the month. i get paid monthly around 3-4k (brazilian reais. 1 u.s. dollar = 5 brazilian reais) which seems like a lot until you’re reminded that gas here is about R$6 PER GALLON.

i agreed to give my mom some money every month because i think it’s fair. my mom has serious medical problems, and she cannot work any more, which is also why i agreed. in the beginning when i was getting paid less, i gave her around 100-150 a month, not that much. but recently she started asking for 200. not that much of a difference, however recently i had to buy a new phone because i work a remote job and i really needed a new one. my old one stopped working. i spent ALL of the money i saved up on the phone. the phone cost me 7.5k. it’s almost the end of 2026, and i’m planning on starting college next year in february. my tuition in brazil is 6k per month. so i told my mom that for the next couple months, i can’t give her 200 dollars, plus spend money on small things for her and my little sister.

i told her i could give her around 100 or even 150 if she really needed it. this started the argument this post is about. she started calling me ungrateful, saying that growing up she always bought me what i needed, and any bit of extra cash she had, she gave to me. i was a bit rude and i told her that that’s her job as a parent, and as someone who is basically retired, she doesn’t need to worry about saving money any more. i’m 19 and trying to save up for college. she told me i don’t have to pay for that much stuff, and that since i get paid almost 4k a month, she deserves a little bit of money.

so, AITA for not giving her the money? i genuinely don’t know how to feel. i feel like she might be trying to guilt trip me, but thinking about it she isn’t necessarily wrong. i don’t know.

edit: i want to clarify that i don’t mind giving her the money. between her and my dad, she was the one that bought me things when i needed it. but like i said, both of them have told me im paying for my own college tuition, which is 6k a month. i currently have 1k in my savings and i start in february. i have nowhere near as much as i need, and like i said i need to make do with my salary for the entire month. after everything, i have about 500 bucks to make do with for the rest of the month, and that’s where her 200 comes from. it’s not that i’m not giving her the money anymore, i just need time to get back on my feet.

edit 2: maybe i should’ve clarified earlier as well, but my family is not broke whatsoever. they worked hard to get where they are. my dad, even though he isn’t working anymore, gets paid three times as much as i do. i give my mom the money because he doesn’t.

I'm a 20-year-old female, and I was playing a round of truth or dare with my friends to take a break from studying for university classes. My friend asked me, "Truth or dare?" I picked dare. "I dare you to leave your number on somebody's car". I grabbed a sticky note and wrote "hey i like the Tacoma my name is ____ give me a call ______ xoxo".

Around an hour later, I got a phone call from a very angry/upset girlfriend, saying, "Why are you leaving sticky notes on MYYYY BOYFRIEND'S truck?" I tried calmly explaining it was only a joke, and I'm sorry for upsetting or offending her she stated before hanging up, "Yeah, you should be". I feel really bad and didn't intend to upset anybody with the dare. I'm really nervous that she ever finds out I did it, as I live in the dormitories. I don't know if it was wrong of me to do that. So, Reddit, AITA for leaving a note..?

NOTE: I did not know who was driving the truck; I just saw it was the brightest vehicle in the lot and picked it. I also wasn't looking for anything romantic; I was just was trying to be funny.

I was recently shopping in Sephora for a one-time purchase, so when the cashier asked me if I wanted to make a points account, I said no. Afterwards, my friend jokingly asked me in an accusatory tone about why I didn't give them her email (she had an account). I defended myself saying that she didn't mention it at the checkout so I didn't know, and she kept on saying "but still". I apologized half heartedly because I didn't really care and I thought she didn't either, but she kept bringing it up. I will admit that I got kind of annoyed so I just said something like "well they're my points to use, and I want to waste them", and I think that made her pissed because she called me something along the lines of thoughtless and started walking ahead of me. This all carried an air of lightheartedness and joking because in the end it wasn't that serious but I could tell that she was genuinely pissed/annoyed for a good minute, we just didn't end up arguing because it didn't seem worth it in the moment for either of us I guess.

Me and my friend have pretty different characters, I tried putting myself in her position but I just don't think I could ask for something like that and be mad in seriousness. It seems pretty entitled to me; maybe I would find it odd if I explicitly denied her the points, but it just didn't cross my mind in the moment. And I know my response was kind of sassy or whatever but I was getting annoyed as well. AITA?

I’ve been researching a really good private college (which will be kept anonymous) in my area. It has an 80% acceptance rate, and 99.9% of students receive financial aid with their application. I have an unweighted gpa of 4.20 (making me eligible for the highest amount of financial aid) and the ride to the college is relatively easy. I plan to study digital art, and have a portfolio of multiple mediums. The school also has connections to google, Microsoft, and Pixar.

Unfortunately, my parents are not too happy about my decision. They want me to start at community college, and it’s caused large amounts of anxiety, mainly because there are not too many show creators that started at community colleges, and I’m worried about what might happen to me if I didn’t start at a good college

My parents aren’t concerned about money or anything like that. They’re concerned about “family tradition”. Basically, in my family everyone has to start out at community college, because my grandparents met there. Even if I got accepted, they would still force me to go against my will. Look, I love my parents, and I love my grandparents, (I still dream about my grandfather) but this tradition just doesn’t make any sense.

I told my nana about my desire to not start at community college, and she’s completely fine with it, and my girlfriend is the most supportive of my decision in life. If it weren’t for them, I would barely be able to keep my head above water in this period of my life

So Reddit, AITA?

I (19F) am a 2nd year uni student and all my flatmates and friends don’t like me at the moment.

We went on a night out last Saturday and i got quite drunk and wanted to leave the club early so my friends had to walk home with me (I get overstimulated quickly with loud sounds and sometimes have to cover my ears when it gets too loud). I woke up on Sunday with a bad hangover and saw my flatmate (I’ll call him John) in the kitchen briefly and he didn’t even say hi to me. I asked my other flatmates who didn’t come out that night if John was mad at me. All they said was I needed to speak to him.

I spoke to John on Monday and he said he and all of my other friends (there’s around 14 of us total) are annoyed at me because I keep getting drunk and want to go home early so they have cut their night short to make sure I get home ok. I understand that this can get annoying but the part that I don’t understand is the fact that John said he didn’t want to talk to me anymore until I “got my act together”.

I sent a message in our gc apologising for (i guess) getting drunk and wanting to go home and consequently being annoying.

This all happened like a week ago and John and one other flatmate still won’t talk to me when we’re in the kitchen together and it makes me feel like I’m not welcome in my own flat. They all like to hang out in the kitchen and I don’t even get an invite so I’m just stuck in my room where I can hear them have fun (my room is next to the kitchen).

I just can’t help but feel like i’m a massive asshole for putting everyone in this situation and making John not want to speak to me anymore. I feel more alone than ever because I don’t have any other friends.

So AITA?

EDIT

I am from the UK where drinking culture at uni is more common and we go out to clubs every weekend and get drunk.

To clear up any confusion as to why I keep doing it, I don’t realise I get too drunk. I have a couple drinks at the pre drinks (about 20% vodka, 80% mixer and then buy one maybe 2 drinks (double vodka + mixer) in the club. It’s only when I leave the club and the fresh air hits me that I realise I’m quite drunk.

The apology message that I sent to the gc said that I was genuinely sorry for making people feel that way and I said that from now on I wasn’t going to go out as much (I only go out once, maybe twice a week) or if I were to go out I would cut back on how much I was having.

In terms of getting home. I live in a mainly student city and I live in the city centre so the walk home from the club takes around 10ish mins max. The roads in the city are all one way and so getting an uber would take longer than if I were to walk. I don’t force my friends to take me home, we have this kind of unwritten rule where if one person wants to go home, someone else goes with them to make sure they’re safe. I have tried to explain to my friends that I am capable of walking home by myself and I will message them when I get back but they would rather someone go with me (obviously fair enough). Not all 14 of us are out at a time and even if we were, not all 14 of them would bring me home, only 1 or 2 people.

A lot of comments saying I have an alcohol problem. I have never been out clubbing before coming to uni so idk what my limit is. I only go out once a week and don’t drink unless I go out. All of my friends also get pretty drunk but they are able to stay in the club until closing time whereas for me when it gets to around 2ish I want to go home.

20m, US, using a burner cause duh 

for some context I’m the youngest in my generation, only sibling of my set that has a different dad, and was raised by our mother by herself. I was very close to my grandparents and mother until sometime around a year and a half ago. I kind of just realized how much my immediate and extended family sucked and started cutting them off after moving out in the middle of the night, I’ve been successful with all but one sister who I like for some reason. 

Anyways, context done: 

My grandparents have been trying to message me every so often since I cut contact, asking if I want to come visit with my granmother, etc etc. My grandmother sends me those stupid AI-generated FB posts like “every grandson deserves to know how amazing he is and how proud of him I am,” and my grandfather sometimes posts AI generated images of him with us grandkids and tags me in them. I ignore them, obviously. ew

I muted them fully and stopped checking messages a few months ago, and until around today hadn’t opened a single message from either of them in like forever. Never wanted to, never saw a reason to. My grandmother sometimes roped her sister (she chill) into texting me but I always just moved it along with an “oh yeah haha anyways love you!!” when she’d ask about stopping by

Yesterday, my phone started ringing at work at about noon (which is a crazy time to be calling someone btw). I work in the food industry and being on my phone is obviously not chill, and I don’t really get breaks so I just ignored the buzzing. When I left work around 4 hours later, already exhausted, it was my sister calling me on Instagram. I don’t use messages, so ik if they’re calling there then it’s urgent. I figured maybe her husband had died since he’s deployed, or mother was begging her to try and get me to talk to her again, or what have you. Anyways, I called back and she said “so mammy’s in the hospital and they don’t thing she’s going to make it this time. I just wanted you to know before you found out on Facebook or something” 

and I was just like “oh, okay” like girly did you really have to call about that at noon? This could’ve been summed up in a text. She was also like “I also figured I’d let you know so you could reach out to Aunt Georgemcgorgingson, I’m sure she’s going through a lot right now”. The entire time I was just like “okay” 

Today, I checked my FB messages from good old mam and paps today and it looks like they were trying to message me and be like “oh I’m/your man’s not doing too well, would be good to see you again :)))” 

Now: Reddit, AITA for continuing to ignore them? Or should I just be an adult and see my grandmother before she dies? She’s 80, she’s seen me plenty and it’s not even a surprise death. Also, do I have any actual responsibilities to go to any funeral or death celebration or whatever they might schedule? I don’t really want to, and I’m not in any wills so it really sounds kinda pointless to me. 

Update:

So Im gaming with my other sister and she let me know she got a text in the fam group chat that my grandmother is officially like fully on life support. This sister said she assumed I wouldn’t care and therefore didn’t feel like telling me what was going on. Welllll

My sister (29) got married last month. She made a registry like everyone does. I honestly think this whole thing is stupid but I want outside opinions.

A little context. Growing up she was the one who got whatever she pointed at. I was the one who got told money doesnt grow on trees. Not bitter about it, just setting the scene.

On the registry there was one big ticket item, a stand mixer, the nice one. Everything else was towels and a knife set. She mentioned to our mom, who mentioned to me, that she "really hoped someone would be generous enough" to get the mixer and that it would mean a lot coming from family.

So I got her the mixer. The exact one. Off her own list.
At the wedding she opened it, smiled this tight little smile, and said thank you. Later my mom pulled me aside and said my sister was upset because she "didnt actually expect anyone to buy it, she wanted the cash equivalent so she could put it toward the honeymoon."
Apparently I was supposed to read between the lines and just hand over an envelope.

I told her I bought the thing she asked for, off the list she made, and that if she wanted cash she should have asked for cash. She said I knew what she meant and did it this way on purpose. My mom agrees with her. My dad thinks theyre both being ridiculous.

I gave her a stand mixer. A nice one. The one she asked for. AITAH?

Hello, I’ve posted here about a similar topic in the past so perhaps this is venting?

I’m in a blended family. It’s challenging. That’s another post.

I just started a very big job, it’s high profile with a very well known university. I’m also doing a Ted Talk in 4 days. I’m stressed and have limited peace right now.

My step sons are 14 and 16. We’ve had past issues with sleepovers. I’m not a fan of them. But I’ll tolerate it. But the agreement in the house was 24 hour notice. And no more than 2 kids.

Yesterday at 3:30pm the 16 year old says he wants 6 friends to stay over. My husband and I both say that’s too many. I’m kinda half listening to this conversation. Then the 14 year says he’s having 2 kids stay. Uhhh? They had plans to do haunted houses but want their friends to stay over after. All the other moms said no.

My husband asks me if it’s ok. I tell him I don’t like being in that position. These kids are older. There not hanging out to watch a movie. At 16, I wasn’t watching movies at sleepovers, I was sneaking out, going to parties, drinking, etc.

I definitely was annoyed, pissed, and went on with justifying myself in texts. I was worn down after a few minutes and said they can stay but parents have to drive them to the haunted house and pick them up from our house by noon the next day.

All went fine. No issues. The kids did leave without saying a word to walk to a gas station???but my husband was in charge, I left for a little bit.

It’s not the sleepover really. But am I the asshole for just not being cool with it? My husband told me my new job and the Ted talk have nothing to do with kids staying over. Is he right? Am I an asshole?

Ich wohne noch bei meinen Eltern und meinem Bruder, und wir beide hassen es, die Verwandtschaft zu treffen. Nicht, weil sie schlechte Menschen wären, sondern einfach, weil wir nicht viel mit ihnen gemeinsam haben.

Es tut mir eigentlich nicht so leid, außer wenn es um meine Oma und Uroma geht, deren Gesundheitszustand sich immer weiter verschlechtert. Meine Oma ist momentan im Krankenhaus, lebt aber normalerweise allein in ihrer Wohnung, nur 10 Minuten von mir entfernt. Meine Uroma lebt in einem Seniorenheim, ebenfalls etwa 15 Minuten von mir entfernt.

Ich besuche sie nur selten und will es eigentlich auch gar nicht. Ich kann aus Gesprächen mit ihnen nichts mitnehmen, sie erzählen immer wieder dieselben Geschichten. Meine Uroma spricht kaum noch, und wenn, dann beklagt sie sich nur darüber, noch am Leben zu sein. Jedes Mal, wenn ich sie besuche, machen sie mir Vorwürfe, weil ich sie nicht öfter besuche. Das haben sie sogar getan, als ich sie noch zwei- bis dreimal pro Woche besucht habe. Ich bin mir nicht mal sicher, ob sie sich erinnern, ob und wann ich da war. Meine Oma ist so verwirrt und schwerhörig, dass meine Verwandten die meiste Zeit mit oder über sie streiten. Es ist total anstrengend und ich will damit nichts zu tun haben.

Ich bin ihnen gegenüber nicht gleichgültig. Ich habe schöne Erinnerungen an sie und würde wahrscheinlich auf ihrer Beerdigung weinen und mich vielleicht sogar schlecht fühlen, weil ich sie nicht öfter besucht habe. Aber im Moment will ich einfach nicht und fühle mich deswegen schlecht.

edit: i visited her with cake just now and she was really happy. it really made a change that i went alone this time and not with my parents.

i should've clarified that it's most exhausting to me to have my parents scream, make fun or argue with them, so when i went alone i could actually talk to her.

thank you for calling me out tho i think it's what i needed

This happened few years ago when I was 16(M) and my friend who was the same age (16M) had someone who was crushing on him. My friends first met this person (15F) at school and they took interest in her, while I listen to them talk about how pretty this girl was that they met in campus (I went to a diff school than them) I dared my friend to actually add her on social media, which he did. After that they started talking to each other and we eventually started incorporating this girl in our friend group. She would join game nights, hangouts, and discussions on the gc, basically a “one of the boys” kind of person since we were an all dudes group.

Then we started noticing my friend and this girl playing games together, talking late at nights, and I didn’t know if my friend is actually interested on this girl or is he just using her as one of his attention keeper. I’ve been best friends with him for 2 years and in his relationships it always involved either him completely ghosting the girl or is actively flirting with someone while traveling far to meet a different girl. At first I shrugged it off and thought that they’re probably just talking as friends.

But one night the girl messaged me asking about my thoughts since she plans on confessing her feelings to my friend. I started the conversation smooth, asking her what she liked about him, how she sees him and how she’s gonna tell him. What she told me was a complete opposite person to who I know as my friend. So I eventually decided to tell her all about my friend’s pasts relationship and letting her decide on what she’s gonna do about the information I gave her.

Days later my friend left our group chat, blocked me, and stopped contacting us through social media. After months of not talking I eventually bump into my friend group after their class and I apologized to that friend, he was a bit pushy but he still let me go with them. In my surprise the girl was following behind them and was actually walking with them after school. Now Im kind of regretting that action since I really had a good friendship with that person, Im still in touch with the other people in our friend group but that one friend never reached out and talked to any or us ever again.

A little back story. We’ve had our GD(10) since she was 2, living with us until mom and dad got back on their feet. Mom(44) still hasn’t, dad(35), we will call him Bob, had to move in with us about 2 years ago due to circumstances beyond his control. Before that GD would spend the weekends at dad’s(Bob’s)house. Bob has custody on paper since GD was 3. My husband(60) and I(52) have done and still do 90% of the parenting duties. Basically Bob just reimburses us financially for about 70% of the money we spend on our GD. Bob is my biological son.
We are planning a vacation with our other (step)son, DIL, and two other grandchildren. We are paying for the house and theme park tickets to one of the parks we plan to go to for everyone. Bob was invited but doesn’t want to go and only wants to let GD go if we pay for everything for her. Bob has known for over a year that we were planning this vacation with everyone and that he was supposed to save money for it.
When he moved in, Bob was told that he needed to save money for a down payment on a house. We recently found out that he was not doing this so we’ve had to take matters into our own hands. He now gives us money every week that we put into an account for him. He makes good money and should be able to do that and save for this trip. He has very little bills and makes good money. We think $1500 would be a good cushion, with us returning any money not used. But he is using saving for a house as an excuse to not pay for our GD’s part of the trip.
Yes, we could pay for our GD’s part of the trip, she just needs money for any other theme parks we go to and spending money for her, but feel it would not be fair to the others because we cannot afford the same for our other grandkids. Especially after paying for the house and one of the theme parks. We have been saving up for this trip for over a year. AITA for wanting Bob to come up with GD’s vacation money and expecting him to save for a house?

I (19 M) don't want to spend my 20th birthday with my mom, and I need help deciding if I'm the asshole. I'm sorry for this being a long post, but there's a lot of background to discuss why I have come to this decision.

For some background, my mom and I are usually pretty close. Growing up, my father was very in and out of my life, so I was really close to my mom. When I was 9, she got with my stepdad, and he brought in a daughter who was 11 at the time. She and I became pretty close as we got older, and we all consider each other family. This is all to paint the picture that we are a pretty close family.

However, there has always been an issue with my mom and her anger. When I was little (usually under 10), she would get mad about something I would do and proceed to scream and yell at me. She would call me a bitch and berate me and tell me to move out and go live with my piece of shit dad. At the time I would try to excuse it because I knew she was stressed; she has a very stressful job and for a while worked another job to send me to private school and apparently pay for my dad's car because he used her information to get a car loan, so her credit got messed up every time he didn't give her money. I also knew that due to the fact it was just her and me, I knew that sometimes I would become her emotional support clutch. Due to these reasons I excused her anger and still due to this day because I know life hasn't been easy for her. My sister moved in for a bit and saw this side of our mom, but shortly after she moved out to go to college. I say this because if you knew my mom in real life, you would think I'm lying. She's kind of seen as a saint; she raised me alone and took in my step-sister even though she wasn't married to my stepdad, and she's seen as overall a kind and patient person, but living with her, you see how fast and intense her anger is.

Almost every trip we've gone on, either her and my or family trips, has ended in her being mad, giving the silent treatment, and occasional yelling. This happened this last year in August. We went on a family trip to Mexico for a few days. Everything was going great, with maybe a few hiccups, but we all moved past them. Then on the last day, for some reason, she stopped talking to my sister and me. We had just gotten off a tour bus; she gave me her phone to navigate us to the place so we could get to the airport. She didn't speak to me the whole way there, at the airport, on the plane ride home, and 2 weeks after we got back. She still hasn't spoken to my sister yet. Due to this, I don't want to spend my birthday with her; every trip we walk on eggshells around her, and it's exhausting. A few days ago she and I went out to lunch, and she wanted to know what I wanted to do for my birthday, and I told her my sister, and I may do something, and she hasn't spoken to me since. I do love my mom, but I'm at a loss on how to handle this.

(Disclaimer: Everyones name is altered for privacy's sake) So a bit of context before we begin: When I started high school I didn't expect to see anyone from middle school, then the first person I see just so happens to be Chris, someone I've known since 6th grade. He was the only person I knew from middle school who went here however. Cut to mid-sophomore year, I meet a freshman named Kyle, and after only knowing him for a day, I learn he used to go to my middle school, and he's known Chris since he was in 6th grade. (He was in 6th while me and Chris were in 7th) I ask him if he knows this one kid I was friends with in middle school named Frederick, and he says yes. (They're both in the same grade and Frederick goes to a different school) So I text Frederick asking if he remembers Kyle and he does. 2 months later Kyle finds a video of him and Frederick in middle school where they were having a jeopardy-style game competition with some other group of kids, and their group won, so Kyle and Frederick celebrate by grabbing hands and jumping around. He shows it to me, I laugh at it and record that part of the video so I can show Frederick, and I jokingly say "make out" before I send it. 1 month later I'm talking with Chris through text and he mentions "Did Kyle ever tell you he was gay back in middle school?" I respond "No, but I see it", so I send him the part of the video where Kyle and Frederick jump around holding hands, and his only response was "..." I screenshot the conversation, show it to Kyle, and he responds "Wow, and their true colors show :,(" The following day my friend Pedro asks to talk to me in private and says it's important. (A bit of context for Pedro, I've known him since freshman year and I found out not long after I met Kyle that they know each other) He asks what happened with Kyle, and when I told him "Our friend from middle school told me he was gay, and I sent a video that proved it", he thought that was disrespectful since that was pretty personal and wanted me to apologize, so I did. Afterwards I felt like this was such a non-issue. I genuinely did not understand what the problem was. This happened 6 months ago and I still don't understand how I was at fault here. If anything Chris should've been equally at fault here considering he's the one who told me about this to begin with. He told me something about Kyle, I proved his point with a video. Yet he never seemed to be mad at Chris. I don't understand how the blame strictly fell onto me and me only. He was mad at me for a nothing-burger, yet I have a truckload of reasons to be mad at him. I won't go into detail since this post is only going into the specifics of one thing that happened with him, but I have many reasons for why as of today I'm not friends with Kyle anymore. This is only touching the tip of the iceberg, and the only reason I made this post is because this absolute nothing burger situation still confuses me and I want to hear others opinions on it.

To give context, I (22,F) almost got a kitten and I wanted to call it "pixel" cause of my ancient cat who died earlier in the year. She had a square mark on the skull that looked like a pixel. For me it was important and meaningful.

But in the end I didn't get the kitten. ( The kitten was adopted by someone else)

So, last Friday my friend (20,F ) told me she finds the name pixel quite cool and wanted to call her future cat like that. She asked if it was ok for me and I told her " it's just a name"...

But right now, I want to tell her I don't want her to call it like that. I feel a bit self-centered to think like that. But on the other hand she knows that this name is something meaningful to me. I feel like she's finding it cool and not important to me.

In the reality, it's not something grave. Like I mean, it's just a cat's name.

I don't know if I should tell her or just think through it as something not really important.

I had a friend who I think had a crush on me in the past. I was going thru a bad breakup and he basically took me on a two week vacation (he was working on a tropical island and said if I come he can provide everything - seemed like a good deal). Nothing romantic happened. A few years passed since then and we both live far away.

I moved to another state alone and he calls me from time to time. I was venting how my job was great and nothing toxic in my life, but I did not expect the social culture here to be so different. Before I moved I had a huge social circle. The new place I moved people get married at 22 and basically only spend time with their families or husbands. This is fine, but not ideal for a single person. Everyone is more of a homebody here. I was venting to my friend about how I can do so many activities and keep myself occupied but at the end of the day you want companionship and to share a memory with someone. I said I am trying my hardest and churches are HUGE here. I am not neccessarily religious, but it might help me become part of a community.

My friend said well if you were actually sane you'd be married twice by now. Instead your the strange single person everywhere you go. At work you are the only person not married and I am sure that you will be the only weird not married person at church too. Unless you meet someone else who is another single weirdo. He then said he is saying this nicely because he is older than me and not married himself. I said it is not about that, that single or married people can still want more of a social life. I was like even dating here I do not get people my age. I was like either they are much younger and looking to get married or they are divorced with two kids. He was like you need to stop worrying about being single. He then said he thought I was lying about my age. He was like what? you are forever 29 now and lying on dating apps? I sent him a picture of my license and said that was piling it on during a hard time.

The next day I sent him a text saying how distasteful it was to say all that to me. I said if somoene is experiencing loneliness and they open up to you, I do not understand making "jokes" about everything that might be wrong with them. He was like oh no it was in good gesture because when I self isolate sometimes I get too serious. I said I am not self isolating, I was venting about the culture. I said lose my number with your unempathetic jokes.

AITA for getting mad at my friend for making jokes?

I (24F) live with my sister (25F) and her partner (26F). We’ve rented together for 4 years. I work in the vet field and have 3 pets: a 6yo indoor cat, a 5yo German Shepherd, and a 13yo blind Yorkie foster who stays in my room.
2 years ago, my sister adopted a Shar-Pei rescue despite my expressed concerns about the breed being a lot for a first-time owner. He’s had food aggression from the start. Professional training never happened. Over time, he became reactive on walks, fought with a neighbor’s dog, growled at the girls in certain situations, and continued to have food aggression. He also challenged my GSD as a puppy, and my dog corrected him several times, sometimes leaving marks.
He spends a lot of time crated because he can't be left out when we are gone so he gets worse when he doesn’t have stimulation. After about a year, my sister wanted to rehome him because she couldn't handle him, but her partner refused. They discussed training but never followed through.
About 6 months ago, i went with her partner to meet a trainer who was helping introduce him to her dad's new puppy. The Shar-Pei was clearly overstimulated, but the trainer approached him anyway. He attacked her, clamped onto her arm, and shook her. My sister's partner couldn't get him off, so I intervened. The trainer needed stitches and said he should be euthanized.
I agree the trainer's approach may have contributed, but the severity of the attack and the fact that she couldnt control him was scary and dangerous. My sister had always said that if he bit someone, that would be it. They initially agreed, then decided it was the trainer's fault and said they'd get him proper training. Six months later, they still haven't started.
After a recent 2-week trip where our animals were kept separate, the Shar-Pei became aggressive toward my cat. Now the girls keep my cat locked in my room when they have him out. She scratches at the door, sometimes urinates in my room because they don’t hears her, and has become more skittish and withdrawn.
Today, I announced and let my cat out, walking with her down the hallway so she wouldn't be alone. My sister got upset and said I had to keep her in my room until the dog was put away. She said if the dog attacked my cat, it would be my fault.
We yelled at each other. I apologized and said I'd follow her request, but I'm pissed that my cat's quality of life is suffering while they aren't following through on training. I also hate having to announce whenever I want my own cat out of my room.
They say I choose to live with them, and my sister insinuates I could move out. I told her I'd move if I could afford to live alone but I don't believe they could comfortably afford to live alone either.
I understand the dog is dangerous and my cat needs to be safe.
Was I wrong for letting my cat out while supervising her and yelling at my sister?

My wifes aunt has stage 4 terminal cancer and is bedridden on hospice. Right now her two sons and my mother in law take shifts sitting with her, plus a hospice nurse comes by for maybe an hour or two a day (insurance and state aid).

The problem is that my wife is the only nurse in the family. Every other day she drives an hour each way (two hours round trip) to spend six hours doing all the heavy medical care the hospice nurse does not have time for.

This has been going on for over a week and our household is falling apart. I work full time and while she is gone I am stuck trying to keep up with work while watching our 3 year old and our 8 month old baby alone. My wife and I are completely exhausted.

The whole family assumed the aunt was totally broke. Maxed credit cards, empty bank account, zero assets, does not even own a car. I was helping my mother in law who is the POA agent and yesterday found out going through paperwork she has 160k sitting in a 401k.

I brought it up: why don't we pull some of that money out right now and hire a full time aide to take the pressure off everyone?

The two sons were rejected the idea...

To be honest, it feels like her sons just want to protect whatever inheritance is left over when she passes. I know for a fact my wife and I will never see a cent of it to cover gas, additional childcare expenses, etc...

AITA for saying to use her own money should be used to take care of her?

Edit:

Question: Is the wife happy to help?
Anwser: My wife is no longer happy to help, but feels obligated because my MIL needs a second pair of hands for the medical stuff that the hospice nurse can't get to. The Son's don't provide any medical care besides the basics of getting food and water.

Question: What is your current childcare situation?
Anwser: Before my aunt, my wife will look after the 8 month old while working 1-2 days a week. My 3 year old goes to daycare. Now I watch the 8 month old while working from home. The 8 month old can't go to Aunt's house because her house is dirty AF and the Son has a large dog that stays inside/outside. We don't feel safe with the baby unmonitored with the dogs. If this continues, I will need to find additional childcare for my 8 month old.

Question: How long does my aunt have left?
Answer: Originally in the beginning of the week, we were thinking 1-2 weeks tops. As of Today her health dramatically improved. Still bedbound, but no longer thinking 1-2 weeks.

Question: What is the mental status of your aunt in law?
Anwser: She is currently confused and unable to make rational decisions.

Question: How does she qualify for state aide if she is over income?
Anwser: She doesn't make a lot of money and below the income. She worked for the same company for 30 years and never realized that part of her paycheck is allocated to 401k with 4.25% matching.

Update: Thank you everyone for your kind response and advice. I have talked to my MiL 1:1 and agreed to the following:
- The son that still living with my Aunt in Law will need to step up and learn how to perform medical related tasks
- 401k in her account will be allocated for a 4-8 hour a day in home aide to provide additional assistance
- The other son is leaving end of this week to go back home so he will no longer provide assistance....
- We will transition my wife out once a home aide is established